Why I'm leaving home.

[Music] what you're about to see is the biggest decision that i've ever made a dream that took me four years to realize and the end of a very very long chapter my name is carl this is the story of why i left canada let's go back to 2018. i'm in grade 12 and like every high school senior i am stressed out about college applications there's so many options even more opinions you see my filipino mom's burning desire was for me to go to med school and become a doctor but instead i decided to apply to my dream school all the way over in boston berkeley college of music now berkeley has a reputation that precedes itself it's known for being the best contemporary music school on the planet alma mater of john mayer charlie puth quincy jones but it's also known for being the most expensive when i first applied in 2018 the tuition alone was 44 000 for one year that's not even counting living expenses books fees none of that and i ain't no trust fund baby so the only way that i'd be able to go is with a big scholarship still i decided to apply anyways i traveled down to seattle to audition and after a month of holding my breath congratulations of me in addition to my acceptance i was nominated not yet selected but nominated for a full ride scholarship the full thing y'all it looked like the doors were finally opening up but ultimately i wasn't selected and in hindsight i'm honestly glad that i wasn't because things turned out way better than my original plan i went to a local college dropped out got a cool job did a few cool things basically everything that brings us to the day though i'd be lying if i said that i never thought about it i've often thought if i was able to get nominated for their biggest possible scholarship with my cringy-ass abilities then [Music] imagine what i'd be able to achieve now so i auditioned again in 2020 but then the pandemic happened and again in 2022 but this is the year that everything [Music] my changed oh my god you have been selected to receive a full tuition scholarship [Music] [Applause] while this might look like the happy ending that we all want this is actually where the real struggle begins to make a very and i mean very complex situation reductively simple even with this scholarship i would still have four years of living expenses books fees american health insurance therapy for the fact that i chose this career path [Music] all of which i would have to take out a huge loan for and part of the reason why i dropped out in the first place was because of that financial peace i didn't want to take on massive debt for a creative degree when i could instead just go out into the field and do the work myself so understandably i was on the fence asking myself does this make financial sense do i want this bad enough to go into that much debt are there better options out there so i did some research found some really good options but when it came time to decide whether i was going to go for berkeley or go for something else i didn't know what to choose actually to be honest i was afraid afraid of making the wrong choice afraid of making an imperfect choice so for a whole month i just didn't choose anything instead i was just procrastinating over analyzing asking way too many people using spreadsheets procons list decision matrices anything and everything as long as it wasn't actually committing to something i'm literally stressed eating two chocolate butts because i don't know what to do with my future all the while though berkeley's enrollment deadline kept marching closer and closer and the stress took a heavy toll on me i don't even know what i want i feel like i'm worried eventually though i realized that overthinking wasn't gonna get me anywhere and only action would bring the clarity that i needed so after three long weeks i made a decision it's terrifying i feel so much resistance it's like there's a magnetic repulsion from taking this step forward but i think that's how i know i have to make it i need to make a decision and i can't keep deliberating anymore i'm gonna commit to it i'm gonna see where this takes me five four three two one and just like that i let berkeley go now you're probably wondering wait then why are you leaving canada didn't you let berkeley go and yes i did but interestingly enough it was only once i had fully let it go and fully found the confidence to be okay without it that it came back to me way better than before that summer i planned to visit my girlfriend on the east coast for three months but two weeks before my trip i got a call that changed everything a few loved ones had heard that i couldn't afford berkeley and that i had to let the dream go but without my knowing they decided to pull together and support me in the most unbelievable way okay i'll help you with it oh my god if that will make you achieve your why i'll do it all i'm asking you is to put your heart in it okay can we agree on that that's the thing that i'm asking thank you so much you're welcome that's the least i could do for you [Music] that just changed everything i thought i made a final decision but there's people who are willing to pitch in that i didn't know were able to and so now the name of the game has changed because it's entirely a money-based decision for me in all honesty i'm at the precipice of just going for it now i'm literally on the side about to pay my tuition deposit and like do this like set the process forward into motion geez um am i really doing this it's done well would you look at that it says offer accepted deposit received and just like that my summer trip to the east coast now turned into an indefinite move your boy's going to berkeley [Music] let's go so with only a week to go i sold my stuff packed my bags and said goodbye [Music] i first landed this job when i was 18 years old two weeks into jazz school i met my boss while i was sitting outside eating lunch with one of my friends from high school and they took me on an 18 year old kid with you know basically zero qualifications except you know voracious appetite for learning and since then it has been it has just taught me so much and i'm just so grateful so hey warren sarah if you're seeing this thank you for taking a chance on me you know i'm gonna miss it a lot yeah it's starting to hit me [Music] leaving home is never easy it's painful and uncomfortable to leave everything that you've ever known behind but it's also a beautiful thing because it's only through leaving home that we realize the beauty of having one to begin with [Music] if i'm being honest even though i'm here now and things have seemingly worked out i'm still not sure if i made the right decision i'm just as uncertain now about the future as i was back then but i think what's different now is that i've learned to accept that uncertainty i've learned to be okay with the fact that i'm never gonna know until i look back but if there's one thing that i do know is that no matter where i go no matter what happens vancouver will always be home when you grow up you'll be fine i know you've got questions on your mind [Music] life is gonna happen one way or the [Music] and other find [Music] what you've got [Music] you

Channel: Ameer Corro

Views: 14,678

Keywords: leaving canada, life in canada, canada, leaving canada forever, why people are leaving canada, immigrants leaving canada, amer corro, amir corro, amir, coro, amer coro, why I left canada, why I left, I left canada, canadian, berklee, berklee college of music, music student, college dropout, leaving home, philadelphia, moving to USA, boston, east coast, new york, east cost vs west coast, west coast, new lift, a new chapter, new life, yes theory, matt d'avella, nathaniel drew

Id: U4qJQ0RQBEY

Length: 9min 37sec (577 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 15 2022