Why I Became a Muslim

you know we was Christians growing up my mom died when I was uh 11 years old there was this movie we watched and he was a Muslim I forget it was uh Antonio Banderas I started questioning things after I seen that I said this is it I got into a situation and I ended up asking to go to prison my mom told me my brother and my sister that she had AIDS tell us your name and where are you from and what was your childhood like growing up before you became a Muslim my name is uh Antonio Leggett but the brothers know me as Ibrahim I'm from Utica New York born and raised I lived throughout New York State pretty much my whole life growing up I was in a single parent home my father wasn't in the hospital my mom raised me and my brother and my sister we didn't grow up like the best kind of condition but you know it was love in the house when I was three years old uh my mom told me my brother and my sister that she had AIDS from her boyfriend he molested my sister and gave it to her too my sister died I want to say like 89 she was only 12 years old her boyfriend at the time that gave that to he's abused me and my brother physically abused yeah he didn't uh essentially abused us and my brother's got to burn my honest hand from him he put his hand right on the fire and then the next boyfriend she got with he was abusive too and my mom you know they was you know drinking and jogging and stuff so you know we grew up in that and this is where a lot of my lashing out came at in school and stuff I got kicked out of three schools in first grade you know because I had emotional problems and anger problems but it was stemming from all of that you know my family yeah oh he's bad he bad he bad but y'all adults y'all know what's going on you know so that I wasn't allowed sometimes in certain people's house because oh he bad I don't want him over here you know so a lot of stuff just kept getting built up and then I was putting the system away from my mom you know I really didn't understand what's going on and it was a struggle for me my mom died when I was uh 11 years old I was in um High School Shepherd um that's when life really like um kind of got like lonely for me because my family uh kept me in there they were supposed to take me but they left me and my brother in the system because they didn't want to deal with me I'm bad you know but I needed love and you know support that's what I needed at the time not for you to be like oh he bad and leave me in there with all these strangers and I keep getting moved around juvenile frosting all those group homes that I got released when I was 18. when it comes to your parents were there like religious themselves like what religion did they practice and what was sort of like your first experience with God like were you religious as a child or is that something that came later on so my parents they grew up in in the church you know we was Christians growing up I want to say like extremely religious but God conscious so to speak we went to church on Sundays Bible studies stuff like that but for me growing up and seeing that and you know knowing that you should read the Bible and that you should pray and that you should go to church and you should worship God and praise him like worship you know saying and stuff like that I was into that since I was young and then when I got a little older closer to when my mom passed like was going to pass away um she she used to always be praying and she wouldn't let us disturb her but she would stay stuck in her prayer she'd be on her knees on the bedside and she'd be praying you know um she she used to have me and my brother you know reading the Bible with her you know so always knew to pray that was the main thing and uh to read the Bible so when I was in the system I would read the Bible and pray and do a little worship you know I'm even if I was like playing basketball shooting oh I'm doing this for the Lord you know and you know and stuff like that and I would just have conversations because there was a lot of time you just alone in your room like it's not a cell but it's a kid it's like kid sale you know basically you got a desk a bed and a dresser and that's it a little window cut out in the door to stick your hand out to get help from the sea you know the officer or whatever and then but I would spend a lot of time reading the Bible so I knew what was in there and um some young so and then I just continued doing it throughout my life but I wasn't always like at the point where I could like totally get right and change so to speak you know I had different times where I was like yeah they say you want fired for God like you know like how we say we on Dean you know but um those was the two main things that stayed with me praying and reading the Bible so I knew what was in there and then this is where I started questioning things and I got a lot of questions that I want to ask but you know like other people when you go to ask they tell you don't question God and just have faith you know and that wasn't enough for me because it's saying you know one thing and then you change it you know and and the way things work is no more I it was confusing to me so to think that you go from one guy from Adam all the way to Jesus may peace be upon them all and then someone who's not even a prophet or a messenger or was with that Prophet or messenger and changes everything and I didn't know the backdrop of the whole thing too you know the council and I see it and that where you know the Roman Emperor where he won the population of the people so he adopted Christianity but they was Pagan worshipers I wish I would have known that now because it would have made more sense to me but you don't learn that until later because you only taught what they want to teach you in the church the rest is don't question God just have faith you know that's not enough though for some people you know who really want to know how to worship God and see God for you know who he is and what he does you know so that was my thing and actually when I was 12 years old there was a kid from Binghamton um he was Muslim there was this movie we watched and he was a Muslim I forget it was uh Antonio Banderas he was an act and he was a Muslim he was with the Christians I think he was a slave or something so you know they were in the Muslim land they called their then I just get the Goosebumps I'm like oh that sounds nice you know and then you know he'd be praying and like the battle is going on it was starting he's still praying and he wouldn't move and I'm like man he's strong you know like he focused when he gets done with the praise salaams out and then somebody was about to go get him and he got out and you know started fighting I was like oh yeah that's cool you know but yeah I was always attracted to her because the kid he would talk to me about it and it made more sense and went back to just one guy and that was my thing and I knew it was only one guy but you you get taught different you know but uh he was explaining it and it made more sense to me than what I was reading and what I was into for my whole life you know what I was taught to be in and I actually took my shahada then but unfortunately uh the influence of the family oh why would you do that uh you know I'm still young I'm only 12 years old and I got released from the facility to a foster home and they were pastors and they had a church so you know it's like you know I got picked on you know oh you you why you don't eat pork you was raised off that and and this that there you know and oh it's only going to be one God in this house you know and I gotta go to church I had no choice you know I couldn't stay home so I eventually just I got away from that from Islam for the time being but Allah was always guiding me you know I always you know notice certain things in my life that I could look back on in the log you know always guiding me and he guided me back to the demon I'm dead alive I don't mention my past how you know a lot of people they glorify what they used to do whatever but I never I wasn't always uh you know living my life right you know I got into a situation and I ended up having to go to prison for two years so when I was in prison I was like you know uh let me try this God thing again so you know with the Christianity so I'm with the Bible I'm holding Bible studies I'm you know going to church I'm trying to stay out the way but still it was like I paused and was like you know what let me just chill out God guide me please garment to whatever is right and there were some Muslims in there and I'm observing them I'm seeing them making them do they bringing the bottle in there to wash themselves I'm like why are you bringing that in there with you what you do with that oh cause when we use the bathroom we gotta rent ourselves okay I'll do it too now but then I'm like I'm I think I was having anxiety attacks and I didn't know what it was and I'm trying to pray pray when I was taught you know in the name of Jesus you know stuff for Allah but and and trying to read scripture and and to have brothers Brothers help pray with me brother and nothing will work none of that were working I said you know what something ain't right and and the funny thing is I was reading this book uh it's called midnight it's a uh like a you know a hood book but in the beginning explains the Muslim man and how he was and I was like yeah that's how I want to be and then as I was still observing the other brothers uh the one of the brothers I asked him I said what's the difference between Sunni and Shiite Muslims right he's like oh this letter uh you know I was like oh okay all right and he was like you know what you're gonna be a strong Muslim one day he's the older guy from Brooklyn I was like I don't know I'm just trying to you know find out right now you know and uh he he actually gave me a Quran and a kufi you know before I left but when I got home um you know I kind of didn't really uh do anything with the religion any type of religion I still was on a like a standstill and you know I used to hang out you know a lot and then one point I'm like you know what this I'm not with this no more and then I started staying in the house more and started just thinking more and then actually moved to Rome and I said you know I'm gonna go back to school so I was working overnight going to college during the day so I was in history class no government class and there was assignment to my watch uh Park Avenue where the Richer people live right after that I seen some videos and it was about Muslims and how they're always going to Muslim countries and you know their armies are there and they you know doing what they do there and I said why they always messing with the Muslims and it's just only Wars in Muslim countries why right so there's some other videos started popping up a lot right and then I seen the historical Jesus by Khalid Yasin and I'm like this is this is this is the Jesus that I I feel like this is the right so then I started looking at the scientific miracles of the Quran and I was like you know this is like a no-brainer like this this this knowledge can only come from God I said you know what I'm gonna take my shahada after I seen that I said this is it I I watched how to pray the night before I went into the master to take my shot on the Friday that was it and we here so where did you actually take your shahada and what was your shahada experience like and what were some of the challenges to follow it afterwards so this when I took my show how to I walked in there wasn't many people there yet I didn't understand what's going on yet so I kind of like walked in stood came in the door stood to the side some of the brothers like oh you you uh knew I said yeah I'm here to take my shot and one of my closest companions which is still to this day uh I was you know he was like oh all right you know so he brought me to the front row he taught me about being in the front row you know and the benefits of that and then uh the the master started filling up I'm like there's a lot of people in here you know but I'm in the front row and I'm just like yeah I'm ready to soak it in they did The cookbook and uh after that Dr ashes is the actual the one who actually gave me my shot to me may Allah bless him and and all the brothers that was there I took the shahada and uh that was like that was like one of the best feelings and best decisions I ever made in my life I say the best but that experience the love and like the support you know all the brothers come shake your hand and hug you kind of got a little emotional but you know the secretary back in you know a little bit you know I wasn't too like into it but it was like it was emotional but uh it was it was like it was wonderful you know like the field love and support and nobody like questioning you or nothing it's just everybody was so happy for me and like I generally seen the smiles and like I felt the love you know so that that was like um yeah that was a good experience when I took my shot at Utica Master uh on Kimball Street in Utica New York so my my life definitely changed after that my eyes was really open then uh to life and what's expected of me and who my God was so I I actually knew now and then what I was learning it started transforming me immediately like and this is the struggle I had being a Christian like I always used to be like if I could snap my finger and be like how God wanted me to be I would but you don't have the instruction and knowledge that you have in Islam to be able to do that so once I started learning certain things how to pray because I wanted to know how to worship people doing all this jumping and yelling and all this little speaking in tongues so to speak you know but it was all crazy and I didn't really like that so this came back to Simplicity even not you know you can't you take your shoes off coming to Masjid you you pray your turaca and you sit down you remember Allah right and it's not all is just that in the third some of the challenges I had because I was in the marriage I was Christian then I converted and there were some struggles in that relationship because I didn't want to do certain things I used to do no more you know and that was like part of our life you know even celebrating holidays or you know I used to always get some you know some problems in the in the marriage so that was some struggles with that I ended up getting divorced but I'm the law blessing me with something even better way better I'm doing a lot I didn't have kids before all my life I didn't think I could have kids now I have kids I'm there a lot but some of my family members when I took my shahada why you do that why would you do that oh your grandmother be turning their grave but I was patient because I know this is what what happens you know when you try to follow the path shaytan or use anybody to try to get you back off of that you know so I I already knew what to expect and at the same time this is for me and not for them so I always kept that in my mind this is for me I'm going to go to gray by myself I'm gonna be questioning myself I'll be raised by myself I'm gonna stand in front of the law about myself so this is for me and then later on you know a few months or later they said oh we like the new you stay like this you know but still didn't really like that I'm Muslim but even to this day but they do them in a different way you know I'm doing a lot you know but then when I took my shahada the group of brothers that I had with me it helped me stay strong you know and they helped me stay focused and uh the support that they gave me may Allah be pleased with them and bless them for that and reward them because it helped me stay on my Den you know and not go off you know has anyone become a Muslim as a result of your conversion actually humbly my father before he passed away at uh stage for cancer came and stayed with me for the last two and a half weeks of his life he talked to me and he said he said I'm proud of you I knew you would find your way you know because you know the struggles I had in my life and you know what I went through he said he was proud of me and he's like can I have a Quran so I know you know so I know how to deal with you and like you know understand so I ended up giving the Quran you know a reminder today dad just read even if it's half a page or you know a page a day or something I will son you know and uh but I didn't want him to pass like that when they put him on Comfort Care uh where he was at and what he what people was around him so I said Dad come stay with me so he did you know um and I helped him you know me and my wife until he passed but uh I just had a conversation with him explain this stuff he already know some things and he's seen what changes it made in me I just you know wanted to remind him that we don't have much time you know and to uh think about you know what's what's to come next we should uh consider submitting yourself to you know to the Creator you know to Allah after that it um moved them to another room and after that he started the the process but alhamdulillah at least you know he he got to utter those words you know so I could actually pray for him you know and do things in his benefit and each other may Allah accept that from him what would you say is your favorite thing about Islam knowledge the vast knowledge to know because before and I remember reading in the Bible where Jesus made peace be a problem with speaking to the disciples and he said when he comes the helper and I speak about Prophet Muhammad he said he will lead you into all truth right so when I say all truth it's the truth like we don't have there's not nothing left that we can't learn about or know about you know so that was my thing as being a Christian like you got all these people they have so-called knowledge but their interpretation they're giving their interpretation and not what's from God so now in Islam it's it's coming straight from Allah I'm to everything so that thing right there to know is like I'm the Allah for that and then now you can act upon it for like people like me who wanted to know which way should I worship you know should I be doing this should I be doing that it's all laid out for you you know um the other thing is the Brotherhood the community like you know when people like generally care about you you know it and you can feel it yeah there's some you know things that you know happen there's no whatnot but you could always feel the love and and the support from people because they love what they love for themselves they want for you too so I love that those my two biggest things what would you say is your favorite thing about the law my favorite thing about Allah is his mercy and no matter how far he can go off he could always just reach out to Allah and say Allah forgive me and that's all forget it's just gone the Angels don't know about it it's not in your book no more subhanallah the mercy is this is everything you know because we need that you know because we uh we're not always we're not perfect we're far from perfect we always making mistakes and you know doing things wrong so yeah the mercy is the biggest thing I love about Allah everybody has that like one verse of the Quran that they really connect with what's that one verse for you so you know from my childhood and how I grew up the struggles that I went through year after year like going through stuff when I read sword uh that was revealed to Prophet Muhammad after all of his struggles and just the hope that he gave him you know and then same thing with the Knight of Mirage you know blessing them with that after all of them struggles I just think a lot that I'm not um not of the ones who are guided there's a lot of people who are going to be watching this video they're thinking about becoming a Muslim but they're kind of nervous what advice would you share with those people so my advice to those who struggle with you know thinking about accepting Islam and taking a different path and other what they are you know Christianity or whatever Walk of Life it is and you like hesitant because of what maybe what people might think of you or feel about you or is this the right thing or not you know my advice is just do it seriously because you just holding yourself back from what's necessary yes family is family friends our friend friends if they're your friends they will support you what they do is on them what you trying to do is on you and don't keep yourself from what you think is good just because what other people think pray pray and ask for guidance this is the thing where people fail to realize allow guys those because he knows what's in their heart and he knows that they want to be God and they want good and those who aren't goddess because what's in their heart too so when people be like oh Allah knows Morrow God knows my heart he sure does and so what you want that's the results of that and so Rebecca at the beginning it said in this book there is no doubt like what books start like that this is the truth if it's in your heart and you feel like it that's what I should be doing then do it and then you'll find out the results later you know and always surround yourself with people who's actually following the religion not playing around you know that's that's my advice if you had the opportunity to ask Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam one question what would you ask him [Music] question I will ask Prophet Muhammad what was he thinking about in the cave those days uh weeks leading up to uh into prayer coming to talk to him and revealing the first ayat to Quran what would he ponder about and how was he feeling at them times how was he worshiping Allah you know what conversations was he having with Allah to lead him up to that honestly I would like to know the answer to that myself moving on to our last and final question thank you this scenario it is the day of judgment and you're on your way to meet Allah what are you hoping that you're meeting with Allah is like the dead judgments on Allah always ask a lot to uh make it easy on me and all to believe it's him that day my hopes are for him to be pleased with me and my effort and my struggles and shortcomings and say today my Mercy is upon you and that you're forgiven enter into General

Channel: UTICA MASJID

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Id: _FUnQcKn3PM

Length: 25min 35sec (1535 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 06 2023