Why does authenticity matter? | Jim Hauden | TEDxTampaBay

thank you and it's a pleasure to be here to share some thoughts with you and I want to start just by saying I'm often puzzled as some things around the world and how they work one of the things that is more trivial that puzzles me is why is it that the not sight I always come untied whether it's for a fishing line or whether it's for a boat whether it's for my shoes and yet when I want knots to not show up as in a garden hose they always have multiple knots in them it's just fascinating but the one that I think that really strikes me in a positive profound way is why is it when we go in an airline ride in coach that we can end up having a conversation with somebody that we've never met that is more intimate and more vulnerable than somebody we've known for years what is it about that seat mate at 30,000 feet that causes us to allow our authentic self our thought Excel to show up and maybe to have the kinds of conversations we haven't had with a spouse for 15 years with somebody that works for us for 10 or somebody that we work for for 5 I've been so intrigued by that that I've even thought about the possibility of putting a set of airline seats in our lobby you know in the middle of it said captivating conversations from coach because it really strikes me that it's different something is going on there that creates authenticity when I think of it it also happens occasionally for me at a campfire we're neighbors and friends come together and we have this conversation that's different and I know it's not all alcohol-induced it is just this effortless attempt to be with people in almost human to human have a conversation that is authentic now we begin to understand what really is happening neuroscience is telling us and research scientists have shown us why this matters and what they have come up with is a very profound a simple fact and that is when power goes to your head it may shut down your heart what we know is that when power begins to go to your head it diminishes and debilitates all of our abilities to be empathetic in all the varieties possible power to our head actually changes the way our brain works it's called the mirror system of the brain and it alters actually the way we think and behave and the most difficult thing is that it makes it very difficult for us very hard for us to feel and understand what other people feel and understand as a matter of fact here's the kicker and the kicker is the more powerful you become you could even say the more successful you become or more to accomplish you become the less authentic you become as a leader which is a very important thought and you know what this Justin isn't an affliction that affects CEOs or he or she allows the power disease to somehow erode their authenticity the mere system of the brain reacts to things like direct reports where you have a few more or it could react to a new promotion or it could react to additional best base it could react to arrays it actually could react to your 15 minutes of fame or just because you're the boss this that can show up and begin to erode your authenticity now you've heard before the power corrupts what you may not have heard is that it also separates us from the connections that allow us to be human one of the things that you have to ask is what is it about that airline coach seat what is the mystique about that coach seat and the magic about the seat mates conversation that really makes it unique what is going on there and what you begin to find out it is a universal experience shared public vulnerability at 30,000 feet we have the same amount of feet space we have the same turbulence we have the same peanuts we have the same plastic cup of water a bottle of water and we have that same dreaded shared armrest we're all equal absolutely equal and so when you think about it one way to think about authenticity is to think about what is inauthentic so what builds in authenticity is status rank Authority possessions what builds authenticity is compassion empathy vulnerability and service the boldest authentic Ling you can do as a leader is to be vulnerable and when you think of that the inauthentic power that we often get actually creates a differential between ourselves and other people it creates this differential that can best be described by I have more than you I know more than you I am more than you the authentic power which is built on compassion which is built on empathy which is built on vulnerability and service is very different now the challenge we face is that in most cases our inauthentic power shows up more in our organizations than anything else as a matter of fact spurred by our ego that power shows up to the point where we rarely tell each other the truth in any of our organizations as a matter of fact truth-telling is not a core competency I've had a chance to work with over 400 organizations around the world I haven't found one where that exists naturally as a matter of fact there are only three places we tell the truth in our organizations I'll give you a second to think about it leave the hallway the water cooler and the bathroom and I want to test this with you to see if how true it may be and I'm going to pre warn you that if you laugh you will give yourself away okay how many of you have been to a meeting clearly not a TEDx meeting and clearly not an IBM meeting your previous company where you went to that meeting and you went to the restroom after the meeting with somebody that you trusted and as you went into the restroom before you open your mouth you did one of these things and some of you are laughing because you did and what did you do you check to see if anybody else was there before you said what you really thought what you said what you really felt and the fact of the matter is it isn't is fundamentally not safe to create and operate an environment for us to say what we think and what we really feel so there is a way to change that and there isn't way to challenge that the good news is that you can be coached back to your compassion itself and you can be coached back to that place where the authentic leadership shows up and the authentic leadership tells the truth and the authentic leadership understands deeply what people think and feel and the place to take the cue is from comedians one of the favorite that I have is Bill Cosby now Bill Cosby has an amazing skill as many other comedians he or she can be in this room with three times as many people five thousand people with nothing but a chair no slides no powerpoints no visuals and within ten minutes create an emotional connection with the audience that many leaders can't create in ten years and you have to say what are they doing how are they doing that and what exactly is happening Bill Cosby does a routine that I remember fondly as a child and it's a little bit older for those of us that are baby boomers it will make sense for those of you that are younger I'll explain it but Bill Cosby doesn't routine where he pretends he's in the dentist's chair and the dentist says rinse now what you don't know is this occurred before the suction devices would suck this live out of our throat is the dentist as we go to now and literally what would happen is because when the dentist said rinse your lip was numb and your tongue was numb you would go to swirl and spit but you couldn't get the drool off your lip you just said was hang in there and you would swat it this way and SWAT it that way and for everyone that had that experience they emotionally stand up in the audience and say he knows what it's like to be me and now that he's met me on my terms I will go anywhere the emotional connection of comedy is a profound concept of authentic leadership and it is that the comedian is able to convey to those that they lead those that they entertain those that will follow that they understand the audience's predicament before they have to tell and Cosby was phenomenal on that there is another comedian who is a great truth teller as a matter of fact this comedian is in 1900 newspapers around the world somehow has captured relevance and resonance with the people all over the world and what he creates ends up in many of the cubicles of the people that we work with work for and aren't teams with and his name is Dillard absolutely what does Dilbert do Dilbert draws cartoons about how people think and how people feel and those cartoons captured the imagination and the emotional connection with people so much so that they put them up that they put in PowerPoint presentations they put them in in conversations they talk about them in different ways now what Dilbert has taught us is that if we find a way to make tangible what people feel in a visual to see what people feel and to validate those feelings that it has a magnetic capability it draws people to it and you know what we've known this for years we've known it for years because we've seen our children do this how many of you have ever talked to your children for a number of times but when they drew those feelings in a picture it had a totally different impact my mom drinks too much wine my dad is a super dad it's different it conveys the content of that emotion and feeling and has an impact than is undeniable now the excitement about this is that you can actually draw yourself to be coached back into coach and create a level relating field where the talents of Dilbert and the talons a cause be create an authentic leader in a unique way in a way that really does make an impact in a way that can transform an organization a team and an individual what I'd like to do is just share with you a story of that it's called the art of the water cooler and it's using all of those techniques to connect people in a sense of shared public vulnerability the story goes something like this we were working with an organization that was a twelve billion dollar company this twelve billion dollar company had 63 thousand people and those 63 thousand people were about of an organization that was creating a brand new strategy so we worked with the leaders for six months on that brand new strategy we went to an ordinance actually we went to a hotel on the other side of the state and brought the top 250 leaders to that hotel for three days to engage in that strategy to talk about that strategy to really be owned and buy into that strategy and at eleven o'clock just before we decided to send everybody home we gave everybody these audience response systems that were anonymous and we said to them how confident are of you this strategy actually the actual question we asked how many of you would advise your mom and dad aunt and uncle niece and nephew to buy our stock based on our new strategy they all clicked the number came up on the screen guess what the number was nineteen percent nineteen percent the chairman looked over to me and said you guys are really good how do I get all my money back I said let's hang on for a second because he profoundly understood that if 19 percent of their top leaders had a vote of confidence this there was no way it was going to work we went out and talked to those 250 people and they said resoundingly the strategy is not the problem it's our fundamental disbelief that our leaders will change their behaviors to bring it to life and we drew a picture the picture looks something like this all the leaders were wearing masks not saying what they really thought at this leadership table some of the leaders as you can see when the center and they had a shield and said I met my number so like you can't touch me as a matter of fact this doesn't apply to me others we're talking about the fact that they were drinking non-confrontational waters and the real issues weren't being addressed some of the leaders felt that they were still at the kids table Thanksgiving they never had a chance to go to the adult grown-up table to really be part of the conversation on the far left you can see that many of them felt that if you really wanted to do anything you slipped the note in the inbox of the CEO and that's where business was conducted some of them felt that the strategy was almost handicapped and it was new every six months these were the issues that represented the vote of 19% the most fascinating thing that happened is we showed the 250 liters this picture and they said first and foremost we can't believe you were in the bathroom and heard what we really had to say the second thing they said was we can't believe you had the courage to show us what we really believe what we think and what we feel the third thing they said is if you're serious about this so are we let's embrace this together we won't go to 30,000 feet in coach seat but we clearly let's be vulnerable together and talk about this they actually as you can see here begin to check the issues that were the most greatest inhibitors they talked about the things that were really not not allowing them to go forward and they even asked and talked to each other about how have you contributed to this how have you benefited from this and how have or how will we be successful if we don't address this the most fascinating part of the story is that the stock was at 26 shortly after this session and shortly after the we went through the process of shared public vulnerability on the real issues in the bathroom not the intellectual issues on a strategy deck the stock went from 26 to 126 and split twice and the Chairman will tell you it was not the strategy that made the difference it was the authenticity with which we were willing to be publicly vulnerable and share that vulnerability and be truth tellers to each other that made it all change what I believe is it not only becomes the emphasis of the team but everybody is watching one of the individuals that reported as someone in that team said when I see our leaders passionate about the truth and humble enough to let their egos go to really find it it fires me up to do the same so the opportunity I think is to create a level relating field one that happens in a few places of our life but clearly not at work in a level relating field that allows us to take that sense of shared public vulnerability from 30,000 feet on that rare occasion when we might have an unbelievably intimate conversation with someone we've never met and beam it down to a room like this where you may not be sharing an armrest but we're pretty close in terms of sharing the space with each other and find a way to really authentically as a TEDx er with passion and curiosity and vulnerability explore the true perspective of what our people think and feel and begin to see our leadership through the eyes of the people we serve and see what can happen my only suggestion just bring your own peanuts thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 8,640

Rating: 4.7872338 out of 5

Keywords: ted talks, tedx, ted talk, tedx talks, Culture, ted, Career/Life Development, United States, TEDxTalks, Sociology, ted x, English, tedx talk, Humanities

Id: SDx_wU0xNcs

Length: 18min 24sec (1104 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 14 2014