Why did Stewie have a beard?

hello Mountain Cat thank you for controlling local rat population hello windmill thank you for the cheese ride and ball cooling next week bullet trains hey are you busy I was thinking we can spend some time together ah sorry Chris I can't I got insanity practice ah Chris I was just lying to you so you'd go away what if you leave me alone now I'll give you a billion dollars you've got a deal well what's in it for old Pete he's your son don't you want someone to bond with no I only form unspoken bonds my mom daddy broke his leg who apparently he got hurt at the mall you're going to get hurt doing that no not I'm the champ of doing this oh you jinxed me I guess Babs has her work cut out for her actually mom can't take care of him she's out of town doing a photo shoot for the cover of veins magazine I can't go I've got to go get my hair very minutely changed and then spend the next 14 hours trying to get people to notice Wow oh it's move you're blocking the TV Peter is there anything you want to say to me it is true that I did not step away but I did not lean in I was actually thinking that maybe you could go help daddy but what about Chris wait wait where is Chris he's upstairs in his room amia I better go check on him yeah good idea close the door the moonlight burns can I meet the family you've all the steped no Christmas hey Chris are you okay holy crap it smells like farts in here those are my farts you know I love you right sweetie not in front of my posters and your father loves you too you know Chris you've got a grandpa who could use your help right now I'm sure he'd enjoy spending time with you okay I'll give it a shot sucks about your leg grandpa how you been doing well let me tell you this is awful I'm so bored oh really sorry grandpa and the worst part about it is I can't have sex god I wish there was a way I could just do it myself you know just just to be done and now thing within four minutes no that was just in your mind incredible so you can do that like what once a year or something no you can do it basically whenever you're not doing something else cool hey next time I want to try it with my hand there it is it's on Van Buren oh oh he's almost here wow he's really fast hey I got an idea let's put in two different orders and have them race system only one way to find out clown are you gonna pay for the pizza yes your money is in this pile of mashed potatoes eat your way up no hands it's sounding really good grandpa I know I know sorry I'm late look Jason are you taking this seriously sorry geez remember this is about writing music that means something to us okay from the top hey can we play one of my songs oh no one wants to hear your stupid songs about nothing now let's play I fell in the shower so maybe we do need that bar five six seven eight well it is to me and I want to give you some money for all your time come on you don't have to do that I just like getting to spend time with my grandpa you know well alright then hey grandpa check it out when I make my elbow like this it looks like women's private parts we're not supposed to be doing this I bet we're not supposed to be doing this I have decided to change my will and name my grandson Chris the sole heir to the Pewterschmidt fortune daddy you're seriously leaving your entire estate to Chris I mean what about mom see this is exactly why you should get it so refreshing well I don't want it either good cuz you're not getting it come on what are you doing Oh No huh there's no light there's only fire I would give all the money to charity oh yeah which charity well there are just so many the do such great work name just one um we now return to vh1's behind the music dr. teeth and the Electric Mayhem it must have been around 1979 when animals started snorting crushed up pieces of felt he like threw me down and he said I hope your puppeteer has big hands because I'm not using Lube I got it but if you squint and imagine it says Peter Griffin it says Peter Griffin Louis now this poses a very difficult ethical dilemma contains Hemans do not open that box you know Louis physicists believe there are two alternate universes I'm gonna open the box oh sweet it's a whip you shall battle to the death and the winner will be given his freedom and maybe not slice your face in half dad I don't want to do this stay still okay I'm doing my very best Thanks that was way too much heat on my neck we now return to The Outlaw Josey Wales should we bury him now leave him for the buzzards hey what you watching The Outlaw Josey Wales it's a Western ah when do the Cowboys go into the tent lick their palms and have sex with each other different kind of Western brothers what the devil is that well it's an ancient ritual where two friends intermingle their blood thus sealing a bond even deeper than friendship friends I mean we share the same home we've been on countless adventures together and besides you only Brian remember what you did to my last Halloween costume stir okay your turn I think we should hold hands more often yeah I guess I know where we are hey are you blood brothers with Meg because you ate a tampon out of the trash no no that's that's something else man I could use a cold beer yeah me too I just had a killer rehearsal whoa whoa whoa what's this uh excuse me hey fellas hey listen this is a little awkward but uh so what are you gonna do about it bitch what good's clearly you don't want to move in that's fine we'll come back in an hour you see you losers anywhere near this booth and we'll bust your kneecaps you fellas are in big trouble if if you could just move back like eight feet Hey then waddle out of here or we're gonna beat the crap out of you so what's it gonna be I think we're gonna do to Wang ping the hell oh no son of a bitch you gave me herpes it's a disgusting heavy sore and now I have some very uncomfortable phone calls to make me that's crazy there's no way I gave you herpes and how do you explain this look it can't be my fault Stewie I don't even have herpes oh yeah let me see hey hey hey what are you doing aah oh my god look at you you're more herpes than dog okay fine I admit it I gave you herpes relax it's not that big a deal not that big a deal yeah but you know I mean isn't the worst thing about herpes just the stigma huh oh I got a little bubble oh that's cute huh I want bubble you should be ashamed of yourself I mean look at me I'm on the same day I'm supposed to help with my friend's wedding invitations but your colors should be like yellow and gray you know I've always been against destination weddings but it's nice to finally see Denver and now the History Channel presents the guy who lived in between the Hatfields and the McCoys huh what happened I couldn't see I have no idea the TV is like directly over my head I'm afraid of small dogs girls with pigtails flying buggies there's flying monkeys big so - yes and fear is a logical response to actual danger hey I'm the rational lion guys whoo what a morning by the time I got done with my pubes I just didn't feel like shaving anymore Oh God your mouth looks like the underside of a boat all right flight attendants please prepare for cross-check not cross-checking anything I heard what happened to you with the drunken clam Stella I need you to go to Chicago on Thursday I can't this week is the Tuscans Angela if you've got business traveling it needs to be done I'm your guy so you'd be willing to take that trip to Chicago for the company yeah you know I was just saying I need to broaden my horizons she's always making me feel small and insignificant what John Goodman's heartbeat honey my inside left boob stomach to death thing again well gentlemen thank you for coming mr. Griffin I believe you have something for me well thank you all for coming good day nicely done mr. Frank thanks chief but Dad other stuff that they all sound like the kind of things I could do to expand my horizon here we go I told no one what I was doing today hi welcome to the museum thanks hey just to be clear I should touch everything right no please don't touch anything I'm used to petting the starfishes well maybe you'd find our audio tour helpful hey there chief Dennis Farina here and welcome to our Museum yeah this one excuse me anyways this is at the Moulin Rouge by Toulouse Lautrec I was from the 1890s now here is a naked chick made completely out of marble I got a winner I'm sure you do too there's a picture by this guy Salvador Dali this guy I'm telling you was a freaking wackadoodle now on I'm gonna volunteer for every business trip and see all the great stuff that's out there return to Janeane Garofalo and mark ruffalo in Garofalo your father has retained how are your business trips Oh exemplary Chris I don't understand what either of those words mean one of them was Chris Peter you sound so refined are you intelligent now affirmative that means yes the ultimate aphrodisiac shall we away for relations I'm not sure what you're saying but let's hump actually Chris I got rid of our television I wanna watch The Walking Dead then I shall read to you from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein how about Game of Thrones instead I shall read to you from you know these are some of my favorite books and authors Oh what are you reading right now oh boy well I mean I'm sort of between books right now yeah like what just tap out the classics you know going back to the Peter I can't get over the way you've transformed yourself how'd you do it hey excuse me I need to rent a car preferably one where the radio is stuck on NPR hello it's me I am returning how was the car coastal and superior I never knew whisper talking was so smart what are you listening to oh I'm sorry I'm learning Sanskrit you know an ancient tongue can be as titillating as a young one pity a man in familiar places who yet feels like a stranger you you're the dick who wrote that in the bathroom gentlemen as they say in sanskrit shubha prabhatam yeah first Patton Street you grew up on it you're a pet named sugar oh yeah old shoe Bo was a tough pooch he was feared by everyone up and down / bottom drive all right if this is to be a smart family we will have to learn not to giggle at smart things that sound dirty but are not spotted dick the results have been disappointing we now return to wizard robot and his less successful friend hey Lois no I wasn't Oh Brian thank God it's just you you know how Peter thinks TV rots the mind oh that should be easy just give me the word and I'll put it in a sentence for you anodyne uh a friend asked me what Anna means I can't take this anymore Brian and the kids can't either Tina's become a nightmare and I thought this is what you always wanted for Peter not to be an idiot I miss the old Peter well we got to do something cuz this new Peter just sounds all wrong like a pilot without a calming voice [Applause] Peter home he's pulling in now I sure hope Tucson helped how was your trip amazing I saw a wet t-shirt contest using chocolate milk it was at the Tucson Philharmonic we all owe that trash city a debt of gratitude you know battleship is still in theaters there

Channel: Happy

Views: 1,948,584

Rating: 4.6230097 out of 5

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Id: 9677HTrpMgc

Length: 12min 39sec (759 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 24 2019