But his little sister comes in to talk to
him and delivers probably the best dialogue I've ever seen in my life. "What you doing?" "Heading out with my friends." "I'm sorry your dad died because of bone cancer." Guys, it's my favorite time of year again;
the leaves are falling, the pumpkin I carved a week ago is rotting on my front porch and
I get to watch horrible movies. What more could I ask for? I guess if anything, I would
ask for the hours I spent watching the topic of today's video back but... what can you
do? And that topic is actually a movie. Something I don't often do on the channel, but once
I found out that this exists, I knew I had to at least watch it and maybe make a video
out of it. And here we are. It's a movie you may have heard about. It stars Christopher
Lloyd, it's set during fall and a large part of the plot centers around a giant ticking
clock. No not - not - not 1985's beloved Back to
the Future although I wish we were just watching that instead. But actually, the 20 twenty2
film "Spirit Halloween". And this is normally where I would say "no, not that Spirit Halloween
and show an image of a Spirit Halloween store but no, that's actually what this is centered
around. It's a Spirit Halloween movie. And I can't tell if it was made for children or
not. It's rated PG 13 but you wouldn't get that
vibe from watching it. This is one of those movies where you can tell where the budget
was and was not spent. The script is one of those places it was not spent a lot on. I'm
assuming some studio wanted to capitalize off the popularity of Spirit Halloween with
all the memes going around about it and then they just found some script that was already
written, put the pieces together, and here we are. But with all that out of the way,
Spirit Halloween, the movie. We begin on Halloween, a long time ago. How
long? Shut up. That's how long alright? Then don't worry about it! We then see where most
of the budget for this movie went to and are introduced to Christopher Lloyd's character
- a bad, bad man coming to tell the matron of this orphanage it's time for them to get
lost. Did I mention he's bad? He's a bad man. Don't
you forget it. They won't let you forget it. The matron then casts a spell on him and he
dies. Thus, Spirit Halloween was born. I think. I think that's what they're going for. I don't
know. [Laughter] And you can tell they didn't bother getting
a stuntman for this, like you know Christopher Lloyd is not taking a fall. So they were just
like "go, just lay down. Take your time. We'll just do a thump off screen or some shit". Now we skipped a present day and are introduced
to our main characters. The stunt doubles for the "Stranger Things" kids. We then get
one of the biggest exposition dumps I've ever seen in a movie ever in the shortest amount
of time. "Frank moved her Halloween stuff to storage.
Took a while to get back." "Is he okay with you calling him 'Frank'?" "What else should I call him. Anyway, I'm
just waiting for him to hang the darn lights." "Or, what? You can't do 'em yourself?" [Laughter] "Oh, come on, you can still be afraid of heights..." -Well, I don't think any of that's ever coming
up again. "Oh. Shut the Freddy Puck." -Hmm, I can't be the only one who's never
heard that expression ever. "Pop-up Halloween store in a creepy lot? Awesome." -I have seen some pretty sketch Spirit Halloween
locations but never one in fucking Chernobyl. I guess with Spirit, they take what they can
get and I respect that. "Let me see. Bummer, it won't upload." "Dead zone?" "Dead zone." -Hold on, let me get this. Bummer, it won't
upload. It was here when I noticed the very obvious corpse of an old Toys”R”Us and
I thought that would maybe be what would haunt them through this movie. I don't know if any of you have been to a
Spirit Halloween in the last five years, but this is already way too many working decorations.
Like this is what a spirit should look like. This is what's on the platogram [?] sent down
from corporate but never the reality. Accurately staffed though. I'll give them that. "We're so coming here for our costumes." "Yeah, about that..." -Goddamn, I can't only take so many clichés. "Look, so I know you're like a the whole year
younger than me basically." "8 months, Carson. Chill." "Here's the thing. Eight months from now,
you'll be growing hair on your chest and stealing your dad's aftershave". "He's not my dad." -While the whole, "He's not my dad" thing
is super cliché, why do they keep calling him his dad? He's very obviously his stepdad
or mom's boyfriend. Like, stop calling him his dad. "I'm not trick or treating this year." "What?" "Halloween's for kids?" "We trick or treat every year. It's what we
do." -So we've got a classic case of our main character
wanting to keep the tradition alive while the other characters are pushing him back,
wanting to move on and grow up. Especially this kid. Jesus Christ, how old is he? "So pretty, right? Are you kidding me? Jake,
this is Joanie's house now too, alright?" "I don't care. We don't do princesses on Halloween.
It's meant to be scary. Me and dad, always did it scary." "But I want to be a princess for Halloween." "Princesses suck. So that's stupid." "It's a family tradition." "Well, Might be time to start a new tradition." -"It might be time to start a new tradition."
Like not fucking yelling at my daughter, dude. Come on. "Why don't you finish this?" "Seriously? Are you ki - do you know nothing
about me?" -That fear of heights thing came to play a
lot sooner than I thought. Usually, they'd let these kind of callbacks do a bit but it's
been 4 minutes. Now, we're about to be introduced to another main character and this is an example
of them juggling way too many clichés. It gets so confusing. "Ahhhh! Surrender your soul!" [Laughter] "Geez! [Laughter] "Your face. Sorry, I couldn't help
myself." So, what I thought was, okay, this is the
typical quirky, cool girl best friend that he secretly has a crush on. That's fine. "Um, is Carson home?" -But then she's revealed to be his best friend's
older sister who throughout the movie will remind us that she is much older than them
because she's in high school and then she says this line - "Oh yeah, he's in his room hiding from chores
but um, who needs him when I have you, right?" -And that threw me off even more. They're
just throwing so much at us. It seems like this movie has a foundation of Hallmark movie
level cliches but wants to mix it up and be different and ends up just making a mess of
it. "Related?" "He's much better looking than Carson." [Laughter] -That laugh didn't last long. "Rahhh!!" "Wow! Impressive." -Getting major Senorita awesome vibes off
of her. "Name?" "Senorita Awesome." "You got it." Now, if you forgot that his best friend wants
to grow up and be more mature, don't worry. "Miss me so soon?" "Where's all your Star Wars stuff?" "Dude, we're going to be in a high school
next year. It's like you're in denial." -It's so funny that he wants to grow up and
stop doing childish things but they like "hang out" with a sixth grader the whole movie.
You know, this kid might just be a late bloomer. I don't know. They never say it though. "What's gotten you so whacked out over trick
or treating?" "It's just not that fun anymore." "Yeah, so hang out with me and Bo is just
not that fun anymore?" "Well, Fright Night's tomorrow night which
is basically Halloween anyway." "Basically Halloween is NOT Halloween." "Dude, no, not that one." -There's no way this kid isn't on a fucking
list. So, as Jake's getting ready for Fright Night which is not Halloween. The movie had
to tell us that and I'm glad they did. I missed it on my first watch through and I thought
for a while that this was Halloween Night but his little sister comes in to talk to
him and delivers probably the best dialogue I've ever seen in my life. "What you doing?" "Heading out with my friends." "I'm sorry your dad died because of bone cancer." -Look, I know kids just say shit sometimes,
but you also have to remember that someone who gets paid to write things for a living
wrote that. "Mom says that's why I'm mad all the time." -We then arrive at Fright Night and get the
longest one take ever for no reason. I think this is one of those examples of movies just
thinking a really long take makes the movie better but this is just so fucking long but
the main event is a puppet show detailing the events we saw at the beginning of the
movie, which I missed that on my first viewing of this movie. I got up to go take a piss
and I didn't pause it. Can you blame me though? Apparently, it is kind of important so I guess
I should have paused it. "Hey, who's that talking to your sister?" "Ray Marino?" "Dang. Ray Marino? Can he even string a sentence
together?" "You don't need sentences when you got touchdowns
bro." -You just know this kid has 4 million followers
on TikTok. I mean, look at that hair. "So sis, Ray Marino, huh?" "None of your business Carson." "Well, I heard he's throwing the party of
the year tomorrow." "Mm-hmm. And you're not going. No kids allowed." "Yeah, well, if I'm not going, then you're
not." "Why?" "Mom's going to be out of town tomorrow and
you're in charge." "Carson, you can crash at my place tomorrow
night." "Perfect." You too Jake." "Hi, everyone." "Dude, what was that? That was our in." "What do you mean, our in? Carson, read the
room." -I mean, Jake's right. What odds do they have
of getting into this party? They're eighth graders. It's one thing when a movie tries
to have high schoolers sneaking into a college party. These are middle schoolers. They're
very - and that kid is seven. "Dude, grow a pair. We need something super
creepy or I'm out. I mean it." "You want something really creepy? How about
a night locked in here?" "What?" "The Halloween mega store." -"How about a knight locked in here? What?
I'm about to show you. What's your problem, man?" "Yeah, nope. Not in." -So, while Bo is on the fence, they end up
locking in their plans with their signature fist bump. It's this thing they do where they
all bump their fist together and say "booyah"? I think they say booyah. "Booyah.." So, I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be
his dad, the one that - "died because of bone cancer." But is that not Frank? His stepdad?
They look like the same person. "Hey Grandma G." "Don't stay out late, Jake." "Grandma, stop scaring my friend." -Well, that force jump scare fake eye and
spirit Halloween wig tells me that that is the girl from the beginning of the movie,
All Grown Up. -Look, I know they probably just were trying
to make a joke about Spirit Halloween's always being in the most weird and run down places
but this is a bit much, right? I mean, there's not even a Chinese buffet in the parking lot.
At least get that right. -So no one just thought to ask "hey, did anyone
see those three kids that dressed up for a camping trip leave? They were like three of
the five customers we had today and I don't think I saw them leave. I'm pretty sure that's
their bikes in the parking lot." "You scared me." "You guys are serious losers, do you know
that?" -Yeah, man. Carson is so cool. He doesn't
get scared by. -For a split second, I thought maybe they
might get caught by the sensors or the security cameras. But then I remembered Spirit Halloween... "Yes, I made sure to turn off all the lights.
Yes I - yes, I also made sure that Carson took his phone. Alright. Love you. Bye. Darn
it, Carson." -This part here is where I especially thought
this was rated PG and like just for kids because what teenager says, darn it? Especially alone.
This movie would be so much better if they just let the kids swear, like they do in Stranger
Things because it makes sense. "Um, Carson left his phone at home and mom
likes unreachable. So..." "Oh, Leah, the boys aren't here. They're all
opposed." "Oh, oh my gosh. You're right. Sorry. Carson
didn't say he was staying here, did he?" "No. No, I blanked. Sorry about that. Um,
I will swing by there. Have fun." -So, then Kate starts to sense something's
going on and she's going to get to the bottom of it. "No one’s home, Kate." -Why didn't you just say that then? Why did
you just fucking sit there? Why does that keep happening? -So, I guess she's just going to run to Spirit
Halloween. I don't know the layout of this town but from what I've seen, that thing is
far away. "This thing is awesome." "Ask the right questions. You'll get the right
answers." "Is the town haunted by a lost spirit?" "Is Alec Windsor roaming tonight?" "Are you too serious right now?" "Really? So, does he want something or is
he here to like hang out?" -Yes or no questions, buddy. How hard is that? "What does he want?" [Laughter] -I guess you can add arson to the list of
crimes they've committed tonight. "You! [Laughter] The reaper comes in dark
of night. And so do I!" -Eww! God, I thought we were done with horny
ghosts last week. -Also it's pretty fucking funny that he's
just a ghost landlord. Like I'm pretty sure he was like sort of a landlord back in the
day, unless I miss something. And we know he's the same guy because that's the same
clip art spirit effect we saw at the beginning of the movie. -I was going to point out how silly it is
that he was able to actually knock him down with that cheap Halloween prop, but then I
realized he's a decoration from Spirit Halloween. There's nothing in that store that weighs
more than seven pounds. "What the heck just happened?" "I don't know but I love my guitar case right
about now." "Forget the guitar!" -That was a - that was a shit. "Time to sleep. Hold still." "Carson, now!" -There is no worse apparatus for an evil spirit
to utilize than a spirit Halloween decoration. Those things can barely stand up to the elements
in your front yard, let alone a possession. It's unfortunate for him that this wasn't
a Home Depot and he couldn't just possess one of those 12-foot skeletons. That is a
movie I want to see. -Now, I know this is a nitpick but one of
my favorite low-budget movie fuck-ups is when they use a smartphone on screen and the thumbs
do not at all match what is going on on the phone. So, what's going on right now is Kate's
at the store, Jake's mom is starting to figure out something's going on and the boys are
trapped in this room trying to just figure out what is happening and more unresolved
tension. "You wanted to come here." "No, dude, I wanted to go to a cool party.
You wanted to come here." "Only because you're too darn selfish to do
what we usually do!" "Oh and what's that? Stay 10 year olds forever?" "Guys, come on, let's just -" "Wanted to change things up isn't a crime
last time I checked Jake." -Everything else you guys have done thus far
has been though. "Kate." "But what?" "Please just - where's the window?" "What? You came to the roof." "Yeah." -Man, she's so cool. Fuck! God this movie's
ass... "Hey, how is that bear moving?" "You don't want to know." "Just so we're all clear on the rules, I can't
leave here without a body." "That's a weird thing to say." You know, she's pretty chill with all this
considering whatever reason it could be that a stuffed bear is talking and walking towards
them because it's either a possessed teddy bear or it's some random guy in a bear costume
alone in a spirit Halloween overnight with these young boys. "Jake, come on!" "Jake, hurry!" So now they know what they're dealing with.
They're going to have to find a way to handle this old evil spirit - in a book that probably
still has the borders book sticker on the back from when they bought it. "Jake?" "Yeah. He's just not answering his phone and
neither is Lydia." "They're probably all in a candy coma fast
asleep by now." -They're probably fine, fast asleep in a ditch
somewhere. It's okay, honey. Let's just go upstairs but that's not enough for the mom
and she's going to go out and look for them and I imagine she's going to end up at the
Spirit Halloween. How they will make that happen, I don't know. Anything's possible
in a movie like this. Like the kids finding blueprints for the building they're in. Making
their way through the catacombs of Spirit Halloween. Formerly Toys "R" Us. Formerly
an old orphanage. Man, this shit has depth. "Whoa!" "It's him. Alec Windsor." "Like the legend?" -Okay. That's just a skull. It could be anyone's
skull. Maybe someone who worked at the orphanage. Maybe toys are us. But they don't even know
what this guy looked like when he was alive. And even if they did, so what? If you put
a gun in my head and told me to match up images of people and their skulls, you just have
to shoot me. After doing some more exploring, they find the small hut full of clues and
by clues, I mean exposition. "Carson, do you still have that stupid lighter?" "Oh, yeah, here." -Man it's a good thing Carson had a stupid
lighter on him so they can light that candle even though they have fucking flashlights.
Unless of course that light is important later on which I can't see how they would even use
it. "There's literally no way out. We're all going
to die in here." "Okay, at least we go down together." -At this point, just break a window and get
out of there. You've broken enough laws and you're being chased by a ghost. So, just get
out. You know what? There's probably not an object in that spirit Halloween strong enough
to break a window. -I guess that is how she gets there. Whatever
that was sparked her curiosity. "You know what? Enough running. We have to
stop Windsor for good." "Let's do this." "Oh, no. No. No, I'm not doing whatever that
is." -Whatever that is - that's the FBB. The fist
bump booyah. Have you been living under a rock? "An offering of high importance is different
for everyone. For the hungry, food, for the poor, currency, for the grieving, a photo
of their death." "Carson..." "What did you say?" -Was that supposed to be a jab? What the **** - What
a dick. "Here, I have this." "Nothing." "It was my grandmother's locket." -She said that like she had to make it up
on the spot. Here, take this. It was my Grandmother - Grandmother. Um, my grandmother's locket
or whatever. So the gang figures out all they have to do is just gather three objects that
the spirit is possessed and then sacrifice something important to them. Booyah, plan
is going accordingly until it doesn't. "Oh, good. You got it. I couldn't find anything
else." "Hey, I - I lost your necklace. I'm so sorry." "Jake, how?" -Jake, what the hell? How? It's been like
a minute and a half at most." "Alright, Jake has a photo with his dad. We
can use that. Tell him, Bo." "I mean, I don't know. Is there something
else?" "Man the heck up for once and tell him he's
the only one with something here to sacrifice." "You don't know that." "Everyone knows that." Now, if you guys still haven't really caught
on yet, Jake's dad - "Died because of bone cancer" "Grow up." "You act like you do everything but you don't!
Obsessing over gym freaks on your phone doesn't make you a grown up Carson." -Hey, remember - remember that when that was
on the - the movie screen earlier? Also, I love how awkward and out of place the spirit
is just hanging out above them, not doing anything but they just want us to know that
the spirit is there with them." -Well, there you go. I guess they couldn't
break a window if they wanted to. Editor just cut that out. We can't keep doing this bit,
man. "Skull was traveling at a rapid speed and
suddenly stopped by the ground." -I guess that's one way to take care of that.
There's our swear of the movie. It's fucking lame. "We do have a sacrifice." "Yes, we do. Encyclopedia of Shadows. It was
a gift from my dad." -Why didn't you just start with that? You
knew this whole time you could've just sacrificed the book and kept that picture and you didn't
have to make a whole fucking thing of it/ Sacrifice the book, go to Barnes & Noble and
get a new one. You've still got a picture of your dead dad that you can bring up all
the time. "Let's get that sucker back then." -Whoa... So that's why he kept wanting to
grab his guitar case all those times. Makes sense now. Even though he should have just
fucking told them that - told them that he had a very deadly illegal nerf weapon in that
bag. Instead of them giving him shit for wanting to grab his guitar every time him just being
like - "but uh, fine." So then we get the big climax of the movie where they have to
fend off all these possessed little decorations while they try to get the book back from Kate.
And I'm going to be honest, this was a fun and well done scene and it makes me mad that
the rest of the movie sucks. That's what annoys me most about movies like
this. Like even if this was made for kids, that doesn't mean it has to suck. "That body you're in belongs to my girlfriend." -God, it's going to be really weird if she's
like not cool with that. But everything works out after Jake breaks her ankle, completes
the ritual, and saves the day. "Like I said, can you guys do something simpler
like camp in the backyard?" "Backyard camping is for kids." "Jake..." -I mean, it makes sense even if they're only
like a year or two apart, he's still in middle school. When I was in 9th grade, I was very
much not in the business of dating a middle schooler, even if it's just a year. "Ugh, what if that god awful smell?" "Oh, it's Carson, I just didn't share." "Yeah, Carson, we needed a sacrifice." -Jokes aside, it's probably Kate. I would
imagine after getting possessed, you would just smell like absolute death. But after
all that, they leave the building to find Jake's mom who doesn't ask nearly enough questions. "Mom, Alex everything. Just can I walk home
with my friends?" "No. You know what? Okay, sure." -Okay dude, give me a break. I was at a Spirit
Halloween last week and it looked just like that. We then cut to a whole year later so
we can come full circle with Jake's character growth. "One last thing. Perfect." "Hey hey. Thanks. I'm really proud of you.
Great." -That's nice. I wonder what happened to that
kid's grandma. She was weird. -So, is she dead now? Does that kid just not
have a guardian anymore? I guess we'll just have to wait and find out in the sequel. Party
City maybe. Well guys, that was Spirit Halloween the movie. I hope you enjoyed. I didn't enjoy
watching it three times and I'm going to have to watch another fucking time while I edit
it. But I hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a like rating down below. Comment. Share with
your friends. It all helps me out a ton. Subscribe if you're new here and you haven't. Hit the
notification bell so you can stay up to date on all my uploads. With all that being said,
thank you guys for watching. Happy Halloween and I will see you next Monday. Goodbye.
