Why Christians Should Stop Dating So Long Before Marrying Someone

let's just dive right into it Morgan you're not still a little bit upset are you from so many people disagreeing with you in your last video what's up guys how you doing I'm Paul Morgan and this is Paul and Morgan we're calling today's video why you don't need to date that long before marrying someone cuz y'all went cuckoo could chill alright so we did the QA last week and we brought up that we don't think you need to date that long before knowing if you want to marry someone and it got a lot of pushback so I think what specifically got the pushback was Morgan said that you know in about four months if you want to marry the person you know I'm well enough many of you guys were like no no wait at least a year wait two years you don't know someone well enough in four months that's too fast okay we get it we get it too many people that sounds very fast we're sharing our hearts here and you don't have to agree with us and you know you can hear things that we're saying and be like uh my situation is different or whatever we're just asking that you contemplate the words that we're sharing with you yeah and you pray about them in this video we're gonna break that down why we feel like four to six months you know what you need to know to decide if you wanna marry him buckle up guys you're in for a wild ride yeah first if you're new here make sure you subscribe because we make Christian advice videos on life love and dating to help you have hope and be free you probably heard us mention our patreon before but if you want to support our online mission and our YouTube channel here go become a patron of ours because when we hit 500 patrons we're at almost 200 now we are going to dress up as Disney Prince and princesses yeah and go to the local Children's Hospital and put on a little singing show for them the link is below go to patreon.com/scishow to join love to have you guys alright so after i break from your all's sassiness well you can take it okay we can take people disagreeing with us why I said what I said why we have said this before in videos when we're talking about dating we're talking about godly dating what it looks like and like yes that's what we mean every time we're talking about dating intentional dating you're dating for a purpose are we saying that you're going to see literally every single side of them you're gonna know every single thing about them how they handle every single situation in life no you probably won't see that stuff for years years and years yeah and your marriage yeah but what we are saying is in four months if you're dating intentionally if you're getting around that person not just in a lovey-dovey romantic fun yeah right but you're actually getting to know them being you know with their family going out maybe serving with them if you're really getting to know somebody in four months you know their character you know if they have a heart for God or not but you know if they're they have a good work ethic you know if they're discipline you know if they are loving the big things you know and so we're just you know standing by what we said that it doesn't take that long to know if this person is who I want to marry or not I mean you can look at Morgan i's personal experiences Morgan I know your experiences of dating were a little different than mine I dated a girl before Morgan and we dated for four months and at that time I knew her well enough learned you know her strengths and weaknesses she learned mine and we decided the best thing to do was to not get married and you know that was that we didn't need to date for another year to come to that place when I met Paul and we started dating it was so different so intentional and that was all him like we had fun but it was an intentional fun and it was an intentional you know we're asking these questions we're doing these things we're putting one another in these scenarios to see how they respond so that we can know quickly whether or not there are some could marry and then I think when we got to the point of deciding like okay I could definitely marry this person we left it up to the Lord to reveal to us if that was in God's plan and it was yeah that's a good point I got to the place where I was like okay I know this girl well enough to make a decision there's no reason to keep dragging this out I'm gonna seek the Lord to make sure that his blessing is on this but there's no reason at this point to drag this out and go another four months eight months year of just dating the way we're dating people come to that place and then they just kind of coast on through it because maybe marriage isn't something that you know they set out to you know fine that wasn't the end goal they're just dating today or whatever so they coast right through that place and that's when you start crossing physical boundaries because you know that person so well and the next step should be you know engagement it should be deciding about marriage but instead it's no we're just gonna keep dating and dating is great dating dating dating six months a year two years three years we're not trying to beat anyone over the head but but oftentimes sexual boundaries get broken because there's no you know ending in science but I think it's important right now to say are there exceptions yes there are absolutely are exceptions there are people that are dating in for certain reasons or circumstances they need to date longer maybe one of them is overseas there could be a number of reasons and we do want to if that caveat and say that are you know four to six months of dating before you should decide if you Anna Merriam that's not it's not set in stone and we're not saying that has to be the case but we are challenging you to look at the way that you're dating look at your timeframes and use godly wisdom there why are you needing to date for a year two years also I think that if you are really dating in a godly way like the Lord is going to reveal to you the things that you need to see and the things that you need to know before you make it okay could I marry this person or not if you get married and something huge is revealed you know I'm not putting that on you but I would ask you you know did you ask the right questions when you were dating did you ask you know hey have you ever struggled with porn have you whatever it is right that's a great point um you know have you talked to people that are close to them and said hey like you know be honest with me but yeah like Morgan said I mean stuff is gonna come out it's tough to say some of these things cuz we know there's gonna be stories where someone was like you know I dated this person and then a year later I found out this horrible thing about them unfortunately that could happen no matter what you think you know somebody and five years down the road something is revealed that was hidden but you know when you're putting these things in place when you're getting around them and seeing them in different situations when you're asking the right questions when you're asking people that know them well the right questions the information you need to know will be revealed yeah like Paul said of course there are circumstances where it's someone's like well I did everything you guys are saying I asked all the right questions he went to premarital counseling and I talked to his family or her family and nothing seemed wrong or weird or whatever and then we ended up getting married and now he abuses me you know and our hearts are for those people and we are so sorry for that circumstance that you might be in but you know for this video we are talking to people who are just curious about as a general rule how long would it take for me to really get to know someone yeah and our answer is if you are very intentional about it and you are going about it in a godly way four to six months we feel you could really get to know someone as much as you needed you know when Paul and I got married there were things that I learned about him that I did not know before marriage mostly good things [Music] [Laughter] there were little things here and there just have it study ad or little o CDs or whatever it's true that you know I had no idea about but those were not things that if I did know about would have stopped me from marrying him yeah they're just things that you kind of learn as you go along in life and you know in ten years I'll probably learn something new about him and whole learn something new about me I'll learn something new about myself yeah exactly well if we saw someone comment and say you know you don't know if you truly love a person in four months like you need at least a year to realize if it's true love I disagree with that I mean you choose to love somebody you date to see is this the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and choose to love is this a person that I can glorify the Lord with and then we can serve the Lord together it's not is this the person that I have this magical love with yeah that kind of is a worldly response well you don't know if you're truly in love guys love is a choice it's a choice it's something that is going to go up and down throughout your entire life with the person that you're married to you have the choice to wake up and say I choose to love yeah yeah and you can grow in your love for someone else and you will when I first fell in love with him it was the falling in love the dopamine the chemicals in your brain that released when you have those butterfly feelings etc etc but now I love him in a way where I still get butterflies when I see him sometimes and whatnot but it's a different type of love we've been through hardships together we've come out of those hardships together he's taking care of me he's gotten down on the bathroom floor with me to lift me up like he has been there with me and for me and that was all through marriage it wasn't there dating it was through marriage and it was has been such a beautiful thing that people I think missed out on me honestly because they're they date for so long and you can only love a person so much when you're dating there's just something very beautiful I'm wonderful about marriage and so like don't be afraid to get married I think a lot of people are going into the dating season like perhaps prematurely and you know they don't have these things in place these important things in place before they go into the dating season so that when they do jump into it and they've been dating someone a year and then what the thought of marriage gets brought up they're like oh but I don't have you know the finances are not in order idea of kids like there's no way we'd be ready for kids so on and so on so on I'm in this stage in life and I should be at this stage that was kind of on you because you you started dating probably before you need it to be dating it wasn't a I'm not ready for marriage thing it was I wasn't actually ready for dating thing before you even start dating ask yourself if I come upon meeting a person and we fall in love can I see myself marrying them within six months to a year of knowing them and if the answer is well no because I would need to get this in order in this in order and I want to finish school and I would like to be working for a year at least or I want to travel first or I'm not ready to have kids and although Allah then maybe be like you know what I'm gonna hold off on dating for a little while longer until I can see myself ready for those things as I saw how this video is wrapping up I feel like maybe we came across a little more like laying down the hammer than we is intentionally meant to these are our own opinions we believe we're not trying to shove it down anyone's throat guys can just take what we're saying and you know take it to the Lord and see if you can get any wisdom out of what we said yeah maybe you were planning on dating two years and after this video you're gonna date a year at least this no improvement guys when you care about your thoughts though and we'd love to hear it in the comments section and let's have a conversation but don't be mean in the comments section yeah we weren't mean in this video write a comment below and let us know what are your thoughts on the things that we said do you have a different opinion we want to hear it but if you do have a differing opinion you better have a good reason why yeah seriously though we respect your all's opinions give this video a thumbs up if it made you think for 10.2 seconds or longer and alright guys starting today until April 11 okay so two weeks share our YouTube channel or video whichever video you liked the best whatever on all your social media platforms or even through text messages or emails whatever snapchats whatever you want as many times as you want because for the next two weeks as many times as you share is as many times as your name is going to be entered in our biggest giveaway yet you serious yes our newest merch line is going to be dropping when we hit 85,000 cells which could be soon especially if you guys are sharing a lot yes share share share I'm gonna put the rules to this giveaway in the comment section below so go check out what those little rules are it's not a lot just like telling you how to let me know how many times you shared I like it we got new merch coming in it's sweet alright guys that's it you all have a wonderful rest of your day we will catch you again very soon we will catch you again very soon half over [Music] [Music]

Channel: Paul and Morgan

Views: 81,387

Rating: 4.4940662 out of 5

Keywords: Christian Dating, Christian Dating Advice, How long should you date before marriage, How long should you date, How long should you date before a relationship, How long should you date before getting married, How long should you date before getting engaged, Long or short engagements, How long should you wait for marriage, Christian Dating Advice for women, What age should you start dating, When should you start dating, Christian engagement, Paul and Morgan, Paul and Morgan Show

Id: cSoWxnkJ-4E

Length: 14min 42sec (882 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/dragonpunky539]

Oh this will be lovely

[u/Nietzscha]

This is literally the worst advice. People are getting married within months just so they can have sex, and it's a train wreck (I had 2 friends do that). And of course they don't feel like you can truly love someone until you're married, because they have to tiptoe around the other person so they don't get "too attached" until marriage. Can't get too attached to the parents of the other person either. Can't hug. Shouldn't be alone too much due to impure thoughts which can lead to impure actions. Don't get too romantic in phone calls or texting. Everything comes down to trying to be careful not to get sexual even in your brain, instead of just relaxing and learning the other person until you love them, or realize you don't and can move on. /rant

[u/LingonberryRum]

Ooo, wonder how judgmental they’d be to my cousin who dated his now wife for 9 years before getting married or his brother who’s getting married this year after dating his fiancée for 5 or 6 years