Nearly half of all US adults
are single today. That number has been
steadily rising for several decades. Nearly 70% of men
and about 65% of women were married in 1960. Today, it's just over 50%
of men and around 50% of women who are married. Young people are getting
married later if they get married at all. There are
also people, of course, in unmarried partnerships. But
I think that a lot of that really is people who are
not ever going to be permanently partnered. 117.6 million Americans aged
18 and over never married, are divorced or widowed. They're not single for the
usual reasons that you hear, "Oh, there's not enough
marriageable men for women" or any of those kinds of
reasons, but instead that they find single life
fulfilling. As someone single living in
a major city like New York, it's definitely very
stressful when it comes to personal finances. You have the full burden on
your shoulders. So I would say the majority
of my friends who are single and live alone, they're
very stressed about the cost of living. A 2023 survey revealed that
the top three stressors for single Americans, excluding
Gen Z, were all financial. 39% said they were stressed
about the general state of the economy. 38% said it
was their long-term financial future, while 35%
blamed the effects of inflation. There's a lot of
consternation, especially at early ages and later ages,
with being single and independent, and how much
you might need to ask others for help, both as an
optional idea or as a literal idea to ensure
you're going to be okay. So what's causing so much
financial anxiety among single Americans? Singles tax is a newly
coined term referring to the financial burdens that are
uniquely incurred by single people. I definitely think there is
a singles tax. It's much more expensive to
be single than to be in a relationship. If you're single and living
alone, you don't get the economies of scale. So instead of having a
partner to split expenses with, you cover everything
yourself. Take a look at South
Carolina, which ranks right in the middle among all
states in terms of cost of living. MIT calculates that
the typical expenses for two working adults with no
children total around $47,483 a year. By contrast, a single adult
with no children has estimated expenses of
$29,880 annually. That means a single
individual has at least $6,000 more in expenses per
year, compared to individuals who are
splitting their bills with their partner. I have to cover all of my
living expenses, medical costs, travel expenses,
food, etc. Like everything is on you. There's really no splitting
the bill, which is what's so nice about having a partner
or being in a relationship. Break down the typical
expense even further, and you can see that nearly
every type of expense apart from medical, is cheaper
per person for couples who have the luxury of
splitting the check. Maintaining your household
costs a lot more money now than it did about 5 or 10
years ago. And when you're single,
there's no one that you can share and spread those
costs along with. The biggest expense among
them is housing. A 2023 analysis by Zillow
revealed that renters pay a singles tax of nearly
$7,000 a year for living alone. And in major cities
like New York City, that number can be as high as
$19,500 a year. My largest expense is
actually my housing, so my rent takes up the majority
of my expenses. It's definitely challenging
finding an apartment and securing housing in New
York City as a single person, because one, the
rent is so high. So you have to make a
certain amount of money to even qualify for an
apartment on your own. The obvious reason that
housing is a bigger share of single people's expenses is
simply that there's one person living per housing
unit, versus two or more people living per housing
unit, but I think it goes beyond that. Single people
may be more likely to live in expensive cities like
New York or San Francisco, where we have housing
crises. Housing in general has
become a big problem around the country, and I think it
is especially acute for single people in urban
areas. The cost of living in New
York City has definitely made me and my friends
reconsider why we do live here and what we're
actually investing in, because if you don't have a
lot of extra money to spend, if you're spending it all
on your rent and your bills and you can't really go
out, or you can't really enjoy the arts and culture
and activities that are all around New York City, why
are you here? Inflation has also played a
major role in aggravating these expenses. It's really hard to control
your housing expense, and it's really hard to control
your food expense because they are necessities. Things like clothing,
entertainment, they have more variability. But you know, these fixed
expenses really do contribute to that singles
tax. And unfortunately, that's
where inflation is hitting the hardest right now. Definitely this year
especially, the cost of everything: food, travel,
gas for your car, everything has increased. And that
eats into your budget and eats into your savings
account. But it's not just expenses
that are stacked against single people. Financial advantages for
married couples are written right into the laws of the
land. The most prominent example
is the income tax. According to MIT's
calculator, the typical tax expense for a single adult
with no children is about 44% higher than the split
expense from two working adults with no children. It used to be that tax
brackets were structured in such a way that if two
people were earning money and then they combined
their incomes, they would actually pay more taxes
after they were married. This marriage tax penalty
was largely eliminated for all but certain states and
high-income earners, following the 2017 Tax Cuts
and Jobs Act under the Trump administration. There's really no longer a
marriage penalty. The standard deduction is
basically double the single deduction. The time that
being married does benefit you financially is if you
do have one spouse that earns more than the other,
you have someone who's making $200,000 and your
spouse is making $400,000. Now, that does benefit you. This income gap could result
in bigger tax breaks that are reserved for couples
with children. If there is a disparity in
income between spouses. Now, you may qualify for
certain tax credits that you could not qualify on your
own or get a higher amount, like the child tax credit. The amount you get is
dependent upon your income or if you're paying for
child care, there's the dependent care credit. So there are certain
credits that do benefit you if you're married and you
bring your incomes together and one spouse has lower
income than the other that now qualifies you for a
specific tax credit and benefit. A 2023 survey revealed that
74% of singles disliked paying more taxes than
married couples, and 79% said they'd like to see the
government offer more tax breaks for single people. Why shouldn't we get tax
breaks? And even one example, a
married couple, they're more able to purchase a home
because they have shared capital, and that's a tax
break in itself. Social security is another
policy that favors those who are married. You're able to at times take
your spouse's Social Security benefit if it's
higher than yours. So let's say during your
lifetime you earn $50,000 a year on average, your
spouse earned $150,000 a year. When your spouse
passes away and you're married or you're married
for at least ten years, you now have the option of
taking that higher Social Security benefit, even
though it's not based on your income. When my married colleague
dies, their Social Security can go to their spouse or
in some cases to a whole array of ex-spouses. My Social Security goes
back into the system. I can't say, "Give it to a
close friend or a sibling or someone else who's really
important to me", and so I'm basically getting paid less
for the same work. All of these factors, along
with the luxury of splitting the bill, makes it
significantly easier for married Americans to both
save and grow their assets. A 2019 study by the Federal
Reserve Bank of St. Louis found that married
young adults have greater median net worth and
homeownership rates compared to single households. Between 1989 and 2016, a
typical household with a married couple had three
times the amount of net worth compared to
households that were partnered or single. I do think it's easier for
couples to build assets, and there's one caveat I'm
going to share there is that, you both have a
shared vision of what your goals are and you both have
discipline. One of the things we've
read in studies is that people tend to achieve
their goals at a higher rate if they have an
accountability partner. So having a spouse or
partner living with you in your household, watching
you day to day, month to month, watching your
spending, does allow you to be able to reach your
financial goals a lot more quickly. But being single also comes
with its unique set of benefits. This idea of being single is
extremely empowering to people, which is why
they're willing to pay more to do it. Financial freedom that comes
from being single is really awesome, because I get to
spend all of my money on me, and my favorite person is
me. So I save a ton of money on
dates and money that I don't have to spend, or gifts and
things like that, or even travel and get to really
invest in myself. And that's really nice. Or I can repurpose the
money that I would use in dating or as a couple, I
can spend that on my friends and family as well, so
there's a lot of freedom with that. Nevertheless, certain policy
changes can greatly improve the financial health of
single Americans. Maybe a lot of people who
are watching this are young, single people. And I think
for them, the biggest single thing is to get housing
costs under control and make housing more accessible. Housing costs are really
high and it's also such a competitive market. There are so many people
who offer these like full cash offers for homes as
well, so that doesn't even include you having a
mortgage. So there are just so many factors that have
made the housing market so challenging to purchase a
home. Personally, I don't really
see a future as a homeowner, and I'm an optimist. The single biggest factor in
why housing costs are too high in urban areas is
zoning laws. These zoning laws benefit
current homeowners, who tend to be disproportionately
married couples. That's the problem is that
people who own homes know that the current system
benefits them and they will fight. For example,
multifamily housing, they will oppose that because it
lowers their property values, even though it
makes housing affordable for everybody else. There are several things
that single Americans can do themselves to navigate
around the singles tax. It's even more important for
you to budget, understand how much money you're
making, how much money you're spending, where is
your money going? You probably have a lot of
fixed costs that you need to be aware of. Finding someone to split
expenses with is one decision that will likely
have immediate impact. According to Zillow, renters
with roommates save $14,000 compared to single renters
each year. Try your best to find a
trusted partner, a trusted individual, that you can
share some of your expenses with. Whether that is a
commute, a home, meals, and try to make that habitual. I'm not telling you to
maintain 30 rolls of toilet paper, but if you buy 30
and you share it with three friends, you do have that
cost savings that you can share amongst each other. So think about yourself
integrating into a community and identifying ways to
help minimize some of your day-to-day expenses. Being single, sometimes it
feels like it's a curse to people or the way that
society positions it, like it's a bad thing. It's not. It's great. Like you have so much life
and freedom that you have. And I would just say, take
advantage of it. Just know that you're a
catch and you're going to end up with someone and
you're going to be able to save money and live a great
life. But in the meantime, enjoy
your freedom, enjoy your friends, enjoy your family,
explore, travel, try new things, pick up hobbies,
but you know, really enjoy the fruits of your labor.
