Where Did I Go Wrong With My Kids? | KARAMO

so please tell me what is going on at home I I I would call myself a gentle parent okay for the for the most part my kids would laugh when I say that but okay so I have I have a tough way of speaking okay I'm going to talk and then when I'm fed up talking when they were younger yeah popped them on their butt when they got older both of them at least once have caught my Paws okay because they they test me so tell me what is your feelings towards your children without incriminating myself I will do anything for my kids okay anything yeah so do you feel they take advantage of that fact oh yes got it was there a shift in Dynamic with your children oh yes okay what shift um I'll start with Dwayne he's my oldest boy he I would say around 15 16 it's almost like he started to be boasting his voice got deeper he started getting a little taller he started feeling himself a little bit he he got into that gross grandma say he's smelling himself a little bit a little bit yeah he's he's out there um don't get me wrong he's a good kid it's just when I tell him to do something if he's in his mode he don't want to do anything got it and he's yelling he's huffing and puffing I'mma hear you breathe one more time and I'm walking over to you and that's a problem for me if I ask you to do something I need you to do it I don't ask you to drop everything right now and do it but go and do it so when did you know that that notice the tension with your daughter Deja right Deja was 17 I have one-on ones with my children let me say that first I have moments where I can say well they can come to me and say mom you're messing up oh I don't like it she was 17 she told me I was projecting I was projecting my teenage years on her I was a young mom I was pregnant at 17 walked across the stage from my high school graduation 5 and a half months pregnant for years but You' made it there I finished school I had a whole bunch of hiccups in between there cuz I didn't have the the no one taught me the drive on what you're supposed to do not just as a parent but as a human going out there in the world like how do you set your finances up how do you start a career I didn't want a job but I was working jobs yeah I can't even tell you how many jobs I've had because it it's plentiful I've had numerous job 17 trying to survive they've never had to struggle for anything yeah Mak sense I've struggled I've gone sometimes weeks without eating so my kids have food I've made sure they had everything they need is she mouthy to you no not really it's more so she nonchalant about it she's non Shalon about I'll tell her certain things like okay your curfew is 2: a.m. I'm very lenient and you still can't make it home till 3:30 5:00 in the morning this is the kicker she outside on the patio clearing her mind collecting her thoughts you toe up you're drunk you're high you should be in the bed somewhere you're not collecting your thoughts what the hell is wrong with you oh so she drinking again huh she smoke weed oh yeah I mean I smoke weed as well I yeah yeah that's why I it's not a judgment but it's it's also a more than she smokes that's the problem the drinking she drink SM you going to be 20 this year and you have a tolerance of a man and you brag on that she told us to her father really I get that me and Mom mom and daughter have a certain type of relationship so I get that she tells me certain things and I expressed to her certain things your daddy don't need to know certain things your daddy don't want to know certain things I don't want to know and you tell me anyway yeah uhhuh yeah so I mean just understand that certain things is for your friends and certain things is for your parents yeah you're trying to say that I have an open dialogue with you you can come to me but there's a boundary that needs to be respected well listen um it's time to meet your teenagers I think um so everyone let's welcome Deja and Dwayne for the show it's like when I turned 17 like how she said it just started Plumbing like we started getting into it all the time arguing and everything like that and it just I don't know like it just everything just started being different why did we argue though because we had a lot of disagreements a disagreement about what we had disagreements about what she wanted me to do and what I didn't want to do what did I want you to do and what didn't not be specific give me an example of what we argued about me cleaning certain things what I wanted to do with my life and stuff like that okay so let's go to cleaning what did we argue about with cleaning what I cleaned and when I cleaned it what you cleaned and when you cleaned when did you clean when I wanted to when you wanted to you wanted me to clean when you wanted me to clean no ma'am I wanted you to clean period what was your what was your your comment you made to me when you was 18 oh I'm 18 I ain't got to do chores no more ain't that what you said yes that's what I said so why do you feel that way and you still living in my house in the largest room mind you in the largest room outside of the master she has the largest room in this apartment that we're in now I was sleeping on the in the living in the dining room area so my children can have their own space I never like I've never made them share apartment share rooms Mama we sharing a room right now y'all shareing the room now why why are you sharing the room right now we sharing a room because you flashed out on me one day and I left because you said if you don't like what I'm saying you can get out so that makes you feel like you can go where where you going I left where you going where you went to my friend's house for how long I stayed there for a week 4 days four days and she was back in my house and she left again after she broke curfew another time after coming back home and not only did she come back home she came back home to expect that KingSize bed in that bedroom and you said no and I confiscated that yes I did me and my two toddlers at home are in that room so hold on I got there's a couple things there first of all I need to go back up just a little bit so why did you end up leaving we had got into it like a day before before the situation okay about and I don't remember what it was but we got into it and it was heated do you feel like your mother treats you and your brother the same or differently me and him yeah we get semi the same treatment but them other two kids is totally different what kind of treatment does the kids the other kids get those are her babies those are her babies they're babies they are babies no not like my babies no like those are my kids so tell I treat y like I don't have no kids those my kids you treat us like you're bigger kids cuz you are you walk around telling me you grown mama you say you say that those your two younger kids are our replacement why wouldn't I just kick you out then why wouldn't I just do that if I'm going to replace you with some new kids these kids was playing so if I'm going to replace you with them why wouldn't I just get rid of y'all ass if that's the that's how you feel I replaced you your my Replacements did you not kick Trey out what did I kick you out for what I kick you out for I wasn't listening this man looked me in my face and told me and my new kids Mama that was the last no that was the last time I talking about when we stayed in the apartment and you said that because was getting into it right or wrong when him and was getting into it you talking about when we were staying together when we were all in the same apartment before I left and got my own apartment yes he got into it with my ex and I asked him didn't I ask you what you wanted to do didn't I ask you did you want to go to your daddy or did you want to stay here ask I made a choice so you made the choice so you didn't get kicked out you're saying you made the choice well that that time I made the choice i' I've been kicked out before but at that time when I got into it with my stepdad at the time I made the choice to leave because it was kind of awkward got it and so DJ what happened to Jan when we got home after your cury cuz I can see you're aggravated about something what's going on in your mind this how I be at home y my mom is very inconsiderate of a lot of things okay my mama listens but she don't hear okay give me an example please like I told her like hey Mom I got violated and stuff like that m in January and that was the only like I just told her about that time and it was another time in December as well when I told my mama we was sitting at the bar at my cousin's house and I said well remember that time when I didn't come home and you were calling my phone and you were wondering where I was I told I said I got I was I was violated and she lit a cigarette and was like okay and she started like she had tears in her eyes and stuff like that and I was like that's it and then she didn't say nothing and I got up and I walked off what was going through your mind at that moment I was molested when I was younger this is a triggering conversation for me one thing I will not do is sit here and be ridiculed by my own child who knows I will go to the ends of the Earth for you you know it listen you said you didn't said your peace now listen to me and the reasons why I didn't say nothing because you know this already if you felt like you needed more help I'm not the one to help you with it cuz I ain't I'm done with my own healing and you know this this is not something I hear from you so if you needed that healing what you should have did would got yourself some dog on professional help or reached out to me and said I need professional help how many times have I asked you did you want to go to therapy did you say yes no so how the hell am I supposed to help you if I can't help myself Jerry my producers are telling me right now that when Deja told you you also initially didn't believe her I never told her that okay still to the day I never told her that because I have questions and I didn't want to ask her those questions and make her feel like her mama was going against her you did not tell me nothing now what I'm supposed to do the second dude who she told me about came in my house with her little sister and her little brother in the house me in the house you brought him to my house I don't care what he threatened you with you should have let me know that I would have handled the situation period you don't bring him in my house and you continue to deal with him after that you brought him in my house I don't care about none of that you want me to handle something I'mma handle it today I see where the breakdown in this family has went I see where it is there is a part of y'all that is spoiled oh yeah great but but but it's her fault yeah I know this let me tell you no no we it it doesn't matter that it's her fault because now y'all are you're still 17 you grown at the end of the day you are at the age of 18 I wish I would have had the luxury to still be at my mom house it was like I like I was done it was you got to be out there you got to figure it out you got to have I had three jobs I had to do what I had to do and so you have this luxury knowing that I can always come back and do what I want to do because I know that I'm spoiled I know she going to give me whatever I need and you're younger but you even have acknowledged that she's given you everything she's doing things for you and so I do believe that you all need to have some self-realization as sister and brother and talk to each other and say yo we have it really good because I good in the sense of having someone that is going to be there I'm hearing when she says get out my house and I understand how that can trigger abandonment it can trigger these feelings like you don't really want me especially if there's new kids that are coming in so I don't want to just dismiss your feelings I can understand what you're feeling so her words yes hurtful and are coming out of frustration you also both know in your heart a heart she really don't mean it because she'll take you back in and she'll do everything for you am I correct but what your mother is doing and how you all are responding to her is disrespectful and she does deserve better than that so can you two acknowledge and at least apologize to your mother for your behavior and try to make the commitment sorry I did all that that was kind of dumb it was what about you I apologize for coming in your house whenever I want to there is growth here but at the same rate now that she's about to be 20 new boundaries have to be set on your point and you have to do that you are right but there's a bigger issue you came here to say because you said what am I doing wrong right and I saw what you're doing wrong with your kids what youve done wrong with your kids is those boundaries first of all but your kids are also Al telling you that the thing that you're admittingly and openly admitting that you not can't give which is affection I can't give this they're telling you that that's what's pushing them away and making and causing the disrespect we've acknowledged disrespect is wrong but there's also something about a kid saying I need affection I need someone just to communicate I'm 17 I don't know what's going on you just told me you were 17 walking across the stage 5 months pregnant and you didn't have anybody to talk about with it and you didn't know what to do and I'm also sure that caused you to be a little closed off to be unsure of who you can talk to and now you have a son that's growing up who's getting closed off and not sure who to talk to you also have a daughter who I understand your own trauma and I'm sorry same way the first thing I heard out of her mouth when she said that she was violated I said I'm sorry I'm sorry for you being violated but and and that has to be acknowledged but at the same rate when you said um I can't help you um I've never healed what do you want me to do tomorrow those were your words there was a lot you could have did and you started to hear the audience say it MH even though you didn't process your own trauma doesn't mean you couldn't have given her the hug that you wanted when it happened to you that's the thing that would have broken me even more I know but I'm I'm going to tell you this you think it would have broken you but it probably would have healed you I'm telling you because what we're afraid to sometimes face is the thing that actually is going to be the Catalyst for us to get to our greatest point of healing in our lives because what would happen is that the little girl and you then didn't get protected what you've been always trying to do is protect them and in that moment by protecting her and showing up for her your little girl would have been like okay now maybe I have not to protect her from the experience but to protect her from the result of it boom look at that you got it you already got [Applause] it give this one a hug right now tell them you going to shower him in affection you know you love it you know you love it you know you love it know and I'm going say one last thing they have been good with their mouth towards you but their mouth is going to be worse with other people cuz they're going to mimic you so I don't know how y'all talk to other people your mouth is bad I know it already I've heard from other people how her mouth is so please people forget that the words we say is part of that generational trauma your mama cussed somebody and cussed you out you going to cuss them out they going to start cing it has to stop somewhere yeah I don't want to just end generational curses and start new ones I got to exactly you you got I needed to help to navate I got it you got it you got it well I'm glad that I can help you and support you and I wish yall the best of luck y'all going to be all right I I believe it y'all going to be all right all right want more unlocked phones DNA reveals and family drama then make sure you're subscribed to the car show YouTube

Channel: Karamo Show

Views: 253,173

Keywords: Karamo

Id: 8kjrZwVrcu8

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 09 2024