- How you doin'? (horse galloping and neighing) What up everyone? It's
your girl, Superwoman. And you know what's worse
than going through a breakup? Having a friend who's
going through a breakup. - [Man on TV] I am so happy. (phone ringing) - Hello. - [Beth] Hey, Lil. - Oh, hey, Jess. - What's up? - I was watching Chopped. - Kevin and I broke up. (sobbing) (Jess sobbing)
(TV host talking) - Oh, you thought I was that friend because I was eating ice cream and crying. (scoffs) Nah, nah, nah. I just do that regularly. What up, Miss Direction? I'm going that way? Having your heart broken sucks, okay? But when your friend
has their heart broken, not only are you sad and angry for them, but it's also a lot of work. Like, straight up for
the next couple months or days if your friend is that girl. Your friend is gonna be
legit broken and useless. You mine as well change your occupation. - And what do you do
for a living Miss Singh? - Babysitter. Wait. Do my glasses make
me look like a monkey? (imitating a monkey) Like, you and your girl
used to be on the same page, but now y'all can't even communicate because she's so devastated. It's a what? - You want to get her to say that word. - This word? But I can't say these words? - Exactly.
- Okay. - Okay. Ready?
- Mhmm. - And go. - Okay. Uh, uh, it's a part of you. - Tears. - No. Uh. Everybody has it all the time. - Expectations. - No, no, stop. Listen. Ooo. Sometimes it hurts. - Your heart?
- No. - Your head? - No. Sometimes it hurts. - Your neck.
- Your heart. - No! - Is it your heart? - No. - Is it your heart? - Stop! - Your heart. (wails) - Jackal? Jackal? Is it a jackal? Jackal? Jackal? Is it a jackal? If you know where that's from, come and pull up because
we can be friends. That's phase one, okay? When your friend can't do or say anything without bringing up her breakup or her ex. Now, phase two is when
your heart-broken friend becomes a menace to society. Like, okay. No. I don't want to be insensitive. I get it. You're sad. You're lonely. You're sexually frustrated. Okay. You have to get
your own Netflix account. Oh, the terror! But, girl, you need to get it together, especially around kids, okay? My heart-broken friends be talking to my younger cousins like, - I love you. No, I love you. (smooching) - What ya doin', kiddo? - My toys are in love. - Oh, are they? That's a little unrealistic, isn't it? - I know dolls aren't real, okay? But it's still fun to pretend. - (scoffs) No, no, no, dolls can be real. Haven't you seen Chucky? It's love that isn't real. - Mom? - You'll think it's real. Then you'll put all this
extra effort into your hair, but no one will ever notice. You know why? Because you don't matter?
(suspenseful music) - Dad? - And one day the person you
love will leave you all alone and all your other friends
will get married and have kids and you'll be swiping through
Tinder at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday. - I think it's past my bedtime. - And then everyday you'll look
at the tattoo on your wrist of his name and wonder,
"Could I turn it into a swan or maybe a butterfly," but
deep down inside you know that you'll just have to cut your arm off. - Mom! (wails) - Kids, never take candy from strangers and never talk to someone
who just got dumped. Like, why you all here
emotionally scarring kids, okay? Don't you know one of them has to grow up and become the next president? Go and F it up for the rest of us, okay? One your friend is done
being dev-a-ma-stated, okay, they'll enter phase three,
which you'll be able to convince them to
finally leave the house. Like, girl, put on some lipstick. We going dancing. And the mission is simple: Empower her and encourage her
through positive self-talk. I'm kidding. (chuckles) Yo, find that hoe a rebound. (sighs) - This is going to be so much fun. I promise. Let's listen to some music. ("Hello" by Adele) Let's listen to something a little more-- - Don't touch it. - Okay. ("Hello" by Adele continues playing) (gags) (mouths) Party. So much for that rebound. Eventually, your friend
will reach phase four, okay? And this is when she goes from being sad to being extra as F. There is a 100% chance that
your friend is gonna be on Instagram doing the
most after a breakup. Do you hear that? Shh. Do you hear that? It's all my friends watching
this video being like, "Mmm, yeah, that's you, Lilly. "You a hoe." What? Now it's unhealthy to
have double taps as validation? Get the F out of here? (giggles) Once your friend starts recovering, you should remember that she is for sure going to have a
relapse every time y'all go out or she hears a specific song
or she consumes alcohol. That's phase five. Yeah, and it's dangerous. - I can't do this anymore. - I'm gonna need you to calm down. - I'm gonna do it. - Do not do it. - I have no choice. - You're not thinking straight right now. - I am, okay? I love him. - Put it down. It's not worth it. - I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna send him a text. - Give me your phone. (Jess shrieks) Yo, straight up. Am I recording? Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I would rather give my
Indian mom a wooden spoon to beat my face with, okay, than give my drunk,
heart-broken friend her phone. Straight up. People
going through a breakup, they should have a license,
okay, to carry their phone. Ma'am, are you legally allowed
to be carrying that weapon? But I love him. By the power invested
in me through Dr. Phil, I'm gonna have to confiscate that weapon. Fine, whatever, okay? I'll just call him with this. That's fine. Have a nice night. Jackal. Jackal. Is it jackal? Nope, it's merkel. Now, after a few relapses your friend will eventually hit phase six, okay, where they'll do ridiculous
things to try being positive. Jess? What ya doin'? - Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. - Now, if you've made it
to phase six, congrats! You're a great friend. And on behalf of your friend I thank-- (phone ringing) I'm shooting a video. Hello? - Hey, Lil. It's Jess. - Yeah. Jess, I'm a little busy right now. - I'm back together with Kevin. (sighs) - Welcome to phase seven. Tell me all about it. But wait. Stop. Don't go anywhere. No, shut up. No, look at
me, look at me, look at me. Pretty motion. Look at
me before the end comes. For Valentine's Day I've got
some new merch coming out. It's not out yet, but when it comes out, if you want a discount on it, follow this account, right here,
on Twitter, @lillysinghfans to get that discount
because for Valentine's Day you won't be able to get
your beau some ballin'. Okay. Go to the end. Yo, did you like that video? Well, let me know. What? Am I supposed to
make assumptions out here? Give it a thumbs up. You can check out my
last comedy video there. My second vlog channel,
if you don't watch it and you're like, "Yo, what
is Lilly really like?" Check it out. It's over there. Make sure you subscribe because I make new videos
every Monday and Thursday. One love. Superwoman. That is a wrap and zoop.
