When They Push Your Buttons | Therapy Thursday | Jerry Flowers

it is your favorite time of the week your healing time of the week spiritual growth time of the week welcome everybody to therapy Thursday listen you know how I like to do each and every week regardless if it's myself if it's my brother Isaac we want to start an encouraging thread because you could be watching Netflix right now you could be watching Hulu but instead you're being intentional with healing on the inside find somebody up and down the chat and just tag them I'm proud of you for showing up let's do it I'll wait find somebody at Candace at Michael I'm proud of you for showing up believe it or not often times that's half the battle just showing up just get in the gym once once you got your clothes on and you're on the treadmill you there half the battle is just showing up and so I just wanted to just start this off by encouraging and thanking everybody for allowing me to wash your feet um allowing me to be an assistant to your becoming process come on in the room I believe that this is going to be an absolutely um necessary therapy Thursday session and I'm just blown away week after week from the emails the DMS the calls at the church the letters from everybody just informing us how therapy Thursday has just helped your life has has helped you grow has helped you see areas that you didn't even know existed until you watched that session helped you how to help you engage in spiritual warfare casting out thoughts it's amazing all of the testimonials that we are receiving for therapy Thursday and I just want to say I'm proud of you this particular conversation that we're going to have on tonight for this after for this evening's therapy Thursday session is so needed and I want to start this this conversation off really by telling you um a story to better cooperate my claim um growing up my children when they were a little younger they really loved chasing butterflies especially when they were like three and four years old they love chasing butterflies in fact I don't think I've ever said this publicly but a personal opinion of mine is I believe that caterpillars are one of the most amazing brilliant insects that God ever made I mean just to think how in one season you're crawling but then you have a transition season where you enter a cocoon or christless and the next season you're flying you can come out either a butterfly or you could come out a moth one is dial the other is nocturnal and I preached before how that's powerful in itself because certain people who crawl with you in one season won't be flying with you in another season because you're a Child of Light while they still might still may like Darkness but let's whole another conversation um my my daughter specifically loves chasing butterflies and there was this one particular time that we were on the porch and every time a butterfly came she would be running after it she's running after this butterfly she's trying with all of her strength to catch it she's getting out of breath she's irritated she's frustrated then she got all emotional she come up to me Daddy the butterfly it don't like me she watching all this Disney so I guess she think the butterfly is going to land on her hand land on her nose she's crying I don't know why the butterfly doesn't like me and she's crying and I'm telling a butterfly it's probably scared of you melody you're walking up near I mean you're a giant compared to a butterfly so I decided let's plant some flowers you may remember before I said there was this time I planted flowers but I did in October totally wrong season right idea wrong season I planted them in in October but they begin to grow uh the following uh spring so around March and uh April of the next year I saw something so amazing something that just was preaching to me Melody no longer needed to run after butterflies because she listened to the instructions that her father gave her on building her own garden there it is since her and her father worked on her own garden the butterflies now came to us so she was no longer exhausted she was no longer gassed she was no longer tired because she was working on her own garden with her father so now oh I hope y'all are catching this when you understand your identity in Christ when you understand what your father has called for you to be your heavenly father has cosmically created for you to be you'll stop running after after certain men o you'll stop chasing men you'll stop chasing women you'll stop chasing the next high you'll stop chasing the orgasm exchange you'll stop chasing their approval but you'll recognize if I have my own garden I don't have to respond to every comment I don't have to respond to every comment what if what if the word that God is telling you is I need you to work on the garden of your patience right now mhm I need you to work on the Garden of Your Peace right now let's work on the garden of your value so you can view yourself through what I said about you versus what they have projected on you let's work on your garden this is confirmation for somebody this is confirmation for somebody because while everybody else came in 2024 talking about this is my year and new year new me and 2024 is the year of more and 2024 is the year God's going to open doors that's not what God was telling you God was telling you this is the year you surrender this is the year you and me get close yeah this is the year you start trusting my timing versus your hustle how about that this is the year where you and I increase our intimacy and this is confirmation for somebody in fact can we go a little deeper in fact one of the first instructions one of the first responsibilities that God ever gave Humanity this is so good one of the first responsibilities God ever gave mankind was to work and keep the garden Bible all day already given you scripture Genesis chapter 2 verse 15 the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it work it and keep it work it and keep it the word work it so you can keep your peace the word work it so you can keep your sanity the word work it so that you can get discernment keep it and discernment oh I'm get in trouble this is like Sunday's message discernment is not just the ability to discern when something's off in somebody else discernment is also your ability to discern when you off see see that part how is it you could discern everybody else everybody else spirit is off everybody else like motive is off but you can't discern when yours is off you can't discern when you having a bad day you can't discern when you on one but you can discern everybody else we going to say that for symptoms bring it down the the first thing the first responsibility that God ever gave Humanity he placed Adam in the garden said work it keep it before you ever got here bro I created light let there be light greater Lights by day lesser Lights by night we know this to be the the sun and the moon and the stars and then he said let there be firmance and vegetation and so now the plants and the sun got this thing going on called photosynthesis to where the plants are letting off oxygen and then Adam you going to grab the oxygen and you're going to consume it and you're going to release off carbon di oxide and then the plant's going to grab that and the circle of life is going to continue this is not something that Disney thought of the circle of life this God was on this way back before time ever existed he placed them in the garden work it keep it work it keep it this is the place along with myself that's going to sustain you work it and keep it this is the place along with myself at Adam that's going to feed you don't eat from that one tree you got all these other trees this is why many times I think there's bad doctrine that makes us think that Christianity is is a life of limitation when really it's a life of Liberation there was one tree you got all these trees that you can eat from just one I need for you to be obedient I need for you to surrender work it keep it work it and keep it and this is confirmation for somebody that's what God has been telling you this year work it our our intimacy and keep the fire keep the passion keep the joy but watch it after confirmation there's always attempted confiscation always always and the main way the enemy tries to steal what has been confirmed ooh Here Comes somebody's neck one of the main ways that the enemy tries to steal where you have been confirmed is he doesn't in the form of getting offended yep he does it by trafficking inoffensive he wants to get you offended offensive comments offensive statements racial slurs racial jokes highlighting imperfections your weight your height we know that is body shaming highlighting an imperfection the way you look the way the way you speak the enemy loves to traffic in the offensive why the three reasons I want you already giv you points we got to go to work okay three reasons why the enemy wants us to be an offended people is because a it will cause for you to step outside of your Christlike character and tarnish your witness I love when you are an offended person cuz all it takes is the right car to cut you off on the wrong day all it takes is the right comment you ignored it last week but today oh you got time cuz all it takes is the right person to say the wrong thing and then I can get for them to step out of their Christlike character and tarnish their witness because how do you pervert the representation of a thing you destroy its image you and I are made in the image and likeness of God so how does he get people to think that God does not have the reputation that scripture tells us that he has he messes with the image all of the image bearers this is why alleged accusations can be so damaging to somebody's image he tries to go after the image hear me nobody wants to eat a five-star meal off a trash can lid yes you're gifted but your character's trash yes you're gifted but the way you talk to people is trash yes you're anointed but the way you feel entitled to how people should support and the way you think people should do that's trash nobody wants to eat a five-star meal from a trash can Le so a the reason the enemy loves and offended people CU I can get them to step out of their Christlike character and that would tarnish their witness B the enemy loves and offended people because it will irrit or activate an insecurity that clashes with what God said about you it irritated it was already there you already felt some type of way about this book that you're writing you told your brother man you stupid you ain't no author bro who going to read your book you are not an author you better stick to Madden you you tripping and so now that offensive language is irritating an insecurity that was already there you already had to talk yourself into it you already had to have faith to follow God's instruction please hear me never allow people to talk you out of what God has talked you into because they don't have to deal with the consequence of your Disobedience but what does offended do it irritates an insecurity that was already there or it activates an insecurity that clashes with what God said about you you didn't think nothing about the eyes of your forehead until an ex made fun of you you didn't think anything about your personality until somebody called you childish and what if that childlike personality God needs because you might be a leader over a children's church you might be one that that serves in vacation bible school and God specifically gave you that man he specifically gave you that childlike nature not because you're immature but because of where you're supposed to serve so now an insecurity has been activated because I'm easily offended I'm offended and this one right here we deal with this one a whole lot especially at church and with Christians see why does the enemy love and offended people when truth that's good for your soul is presented being offended will cause for you to dismiss it when truth that's good for your soul this is good for your spiritual growth this is good for your becoming th this is good for your unlearning of bad Doctrine this is good for your healing when truth that's good for the soul is presented being offended will cause for you to dismiss it now everybody's a hater and toxic they just a hater or could it be they love you enough to tell you a truth that others won't because truth sounds like hate to those who hate the truth one more time could it be they love you enough to tell you truth that others want because truth sounds like hate to those who hate the truth I disagree with that Jay they they just toxic or could it be they told you a truth that reveals and shows you all of your toxin that part is it that really toxic or could it be you have so many toxins and they're telling you the truth about how toxic that is and because when somebody is giving you truth and you're used to gleaning and drinking from a culture that says we want truth but we present and post lies uh-oh when we present and post Lies when we try to hide our blemishes because that's what this generation does right we hide our blemishes add a filter to it Photoshop generation to where you're comparing your real life to a Photoshop life when somebody tells you the truth offended being offended will cause you to dismiss it please hear me when I say this being offended being easily offended by truth can cause for you to keep getting wet from storms you could avoid you don't have to get drenched like that if you listen to what the therapist said listen to what the leader the the brother the sister the pastor the couns if you would listen that there is wisdom in the truth even though it stings because so many of us have learned how to function in dysfunction to where when you're point when this is when this is revealed to you that this is dysfunctional but this is what functional looks like because I'm used to dysfunction we rather dysfunction and and familiarity than functional and health so now when I'm offended from truth I'll end up getting wet from storms that I could avoid I didn't have to go through that please hear me what God wants you to go through and what you choose to go through because you've been offended are not the same what God wants for you to go through and what you're choosing to go through because because you're offended because of your pride because of arrogance they're not the same it is possible that you are blaming God for a Wilderness that your attitude put you in man I came back talking Heaven you could be blaming God for a Wilderness that your character put you in because I don't know how to handle when people push my buttons let's talk about that on tonight for tonight's therapy Thursday session when they push your buttons are you like an elevator they say floor floor 6 boom I'm going to go right there with you what's up they push floor one I'mma get down and dirty with you what's up elevator all they have to do is push your buttons step out of character push your buttons you curse me out I'mma curse you out Pastor are you asking us to be a doormat no I'm asking you to be Christlike I'm asking for you to exuberate this fruit of the spirit that we see in Galatians 5: 22- 24 self control self control I feel this y'all let's pray God would you give us the strength to recognize that their comments aren't verdicts their comments aren't verdicts and I don't have to view myself through the lens of what people say for many of us help us stop viewing oursel through the lens of what we said about ourselves but we want scripture to be the highest Authority in our life so what you said we believe it what you said we receive it now give us the faith and give us the strength to unlearn every thought unlearn every pattern that clashes with what you said about us cuz I'm not self-made I'm godm in Jesus name give us self-control fill us with your spirit so that I don't have to respond to deceiving spirits and Jesus name everybody who agrees with that prayer would you put in the room amen it is confession time I feel this already cuz some of us just have this like nuck If You Buck personality some of us just have don't try me on today and I want to help us can I get all of us to put this in the room are y'all ready matter of fact put it in the room in all caps can I get us to say this being offended is a choice not a requirement for the Holy Spirit empowers me to be self-controlled one more time being offended is a choice not a requirement for the Holy Spirit empowers me to be self-controlled the Holy Spirit empowers me to be self-control I learned this rather quickly during my Ministry tenure especially living in an era where everybody at the fingertips can leave a comment about your life that's the era we live in right now everybody can comment what they think about your life your marriage your your picture your food your your singl your whatever it is that you do you post whatever everybody can now comment I learned this kind of quick um once I got solid in in the shadows that's why I thank God for my pasture season because God was building in me character in the dark he was building in me uh Integrity in the dark so that when he gives a little light for his glory not for mine that I could withstand hate because I was confirmed in the dark but I learned this rather quickly you'd be surprised how being unbothered bothers people I promise you you would be so surprised how being unbothered really bothers people like it really does like when I'm unbothered to comments I'm unbothered by reviews I'm unbothered by rejection like when you are really unbo I'm unbothered to to like somebody being upset about my boundaries and here's a whole word for somebody anybody who's upset about your boundaries is irrefutable evidence that you needed them anybody who's upset over your boundaries they're proof that you need them they're confirming the fact that you need boundaries H because peace Stealers don't always show up looking like thieves sometimes they show up looking like family peace Stealers they're not going to come in your life with a mask on burglar peace Stealers don't always look like thieves they look like preferences they look like friends they look like your type ooh you would be surprised how being unbothered really bothers people and one of the greatest freedoms that I've ever experienced in my life outside of the gift of Salvation one the greatest freedoms that I ever have walked in is the freedom of not being bound to respond everybody has a comment everybody has a thought everybody has an opinion and I'm telling you when I recognize that I am called for a certain audience I'm called for a certain people and anybody who has an issue with that that's evidence I'm not called for you the freedom of not being bound to responding so what I really understood you're filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit and since you have the Holy Spirit the holy spirit's at work in you and one of the fruits that he's producing in you is selfcontrol understanding that that helped me recognize okay man being a offended really is a choice not a requirement if somebody comes at me some type of way I have a choice to come at them at that same level I'm not required to that's not going to prove my masculinity that's not going to prove that I'm a man that's not going to prove that you don't try me cuz I I have a choice because I'm filled with the Holy Spirit I could be patient I could be kind I could be gentle interwoven all throughout the fabric of scripture there are so many many passages that give us the language warning and the power of self-control I want to just give you a few 1 Peter 4 verse 7 the end of all things is at hand therefore be self-controlled everybody put that in the room self-control look the end of all things is at hand therefore be self-controlled and sober minded why Peter for the sake of your prayers did y'all see that be self-controlled and sober minded for the sake of your prayers Proverbs 25 verse 28 a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left Without Walls you know what that means when you don't have self-control everything has access to you everything has access to your peace everything has access to your joy everything has access to your Clarity everything has access to your sleep you will be like my three-year-old daughter Melody running exhausted trying to respond trying to clear up trying to get this versus if you trust what the father is telling you to do and allow him to work on the garden of your intimacy the things that are supposed to come in your garden will come and even when they leave you won't trip because you got more flowers second Peter 1 verse 5-9 this has a little length I couldn't do hop scotch with this I want us to read it for this very reason make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge and knowledge with self-control and self-control with steadfastness and steadfastness with godliness and godliness with brotherly affection and brotherly affection with love for if these qualities are yours and are increasing they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ watch this for whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins whoa who lacks these qualities has forgotten that he was cleansed so self-controlled is married to three things number one one the fruit of the Holy Spirit number two the work of the Holy Spirit and number three remembering that I've been washed this is so good y'all this is so good the fruit of the Holy Spirit the work of the Holy Spirit and remembering that I have been washed so to walk around unbothered means there has to be some work that first has been done on the inside huh maybe you're so irritated because there's so much work on the inside that you're not letting the Holy Spirit clean maybe you got to let them know and you got to give them a piece of your mind because your garden is not being worked and not being kept just just maybe being constantly offended is a soul notification that's beckoning for you to believe what God said about you or to try to persuade you to live how he told you just like you get notifications on your phone what if being constantly offended is a soul notification that's beckoning for you to believe what God said about you and for you to live the way that he told you to live because once I'm filled with the Holy Spirit you'll understand the simple truth the way that somebody reacts and responds has more to do with what's going on on the inside of them versus anything I ever did and once you recognize that you learn Grace I could literally see somebody or this happened to me one time somebody did something stupid in the store I was in line first bro you can't see me back up in my in my mind I was thinking they must be having a bad day I'm not going to contribute to it first start now 2015 back up all right bro first off it I would have felt the inclination to try to flex my masculinity to a fool is't that foolish this is why you never this is why you never argue with the fool because they would just drag you down and beat you with their experience did y'all hear me you never argue with a fool what they do is foolish like they live on foolish Avenue you don't argue with somebody who lives in foolishness just going to beat you with their foolishness they make you reduce yourself to a foolish individual as well I want to help us on tonight like I want this session to build your emotional immune system so that every sneeze of offense won't have your attitude catch a cold I want your spiritual and your emotional immune system to be stronger so that every sneeze of offense you stupid you s whatever it is whatever sneeze of offense won't cause your attitude to catch a cold if I was a notetaker ID write this down the goal is to be cool not cold that's it the goal to be cool not cold to remain in Christlike character the Genesis of staying in Christlike character when they push your buttons I'm going to give you several points because it's one thing to highlight the problem it's another thing to give you instructions on how to remain in Christlike character okay the Genesis of staying in Christlike character when people push your buttons number one understand comments aren't verdict you stupid that that's that's your that's your opinion you ain't never that's your opinion your comment is not see when you treat people comments like verdicts you're treating them like they're a judge but there's only one righteous judge see God is the author and finisher of your faith okay he's the Alpha and the Omega the reason he's referred to as the author is because he's the one authoring it this means people are readers not authors so stop treating people like they can make editorial stop treating people like they have editorial rights they can't add a comma they can't add a chapter they can't add a punctuation they don't have that right that is reserved for the author stop treating readers like author all the all they can do is read your story it's the first thing understand comments on verdicts number two two opinions don't depreciate value their opinion has no effect on my value whatsoever I care more about what God said about me see this is one reason why the devil doesn't have me on his payroll and I could preach so freely and preach so confidently because I understand where my value lies it's in the cross it's in Jesus my value is not in followers and clicks and Impressions all those things I view them those are Avenues where people could hear about the goodness of the gospel and prayerfully turn to Christ they have nothing to do with Jered God checked me hard in 2012 when the ministry first start my wife and I got married and we were thinking about doing redefine TV and we were starting to do it and some people were coming locally and we got a few bookings in 2013 and 2014 and I was like yeah yeah it it it it's growing with the platform is growing I remember in prayer God was like that's not your following that's my people it's not your platform that's my bride draw a line in the sand erase it that's how swift I can make you not a factor talk about humility bro you are here one day gone the next that's not your following those are my children and it freed me I don't get significance from that notice how one day Hosanna hosanna in the highest notice a few days later kill him crucify him the same people who sing praise are the same people who crucify you don't put your stock in opinions so since I live with that reality that I live before I live for one before many opinions don't depreciate my value and whoever is watching this where you have allowed what they have said could be a mother a father they're not the one that set your value to Priceless and once you understand that in Christ your value is set to Priceless you'll stop giving yourself out as a discount number three the Genesis of staying in Christlike character when someone pushes your buttons number three is to know this light attracts bugs light attracts bugs the more light you have outside especially when it's dark the more bugs you going to see so when you recognize there are things that are going to cause for people to start trying to bug me did y'all catch that word play there are things that I do with my light that are going to cause for people to start trying to bug me me but if I were if I was in darkness like them they would not be bugging me so I'm going to be a light and I just have to recognize that light attracts bugs people are going to be bugged by your standards they're going to be bugged by your commitment they're going to be bugged by you're not compromising but it's better to have light to have bugs swarm me because I'm a light versus for me to be in darkness myself light attracts bugs number four being called comes with being misunderstood especially I want to speak to all cycle Breakers really quick stop expecting those who pass down the generational cycle to support you while you're breaking it stop being called comes with being misunderstood if they called the king of glory be elel what do you think they're going to call you you have to be okay with being misunderstood it's a part of being called number five huge one I did a whole series about this not responding to every comment is a Time protector I did a whole series on timing who would have thought that knowing what to not resp respond to protects your time and when you've learned how to protect your time toxicity no longer looks entertaining and peace no longer looks boring because I've learned how to protect my time when you've learned how to protect your time you won't marry them in your head without seeing fruit I need to see a Plumb of patience first I need to see a grape of gentleness I need to see some fruit because I understand not responding is not responding to every comma is a form of protecting my time when you've learned how to protect your time getting in the word is no longer seen as an option but it's seen as oxygen for your spirit it's what keeps you alive when you understand how to protect your time your know increases when you understand how to protect your time you can discern who deserves a response versus who needs to be left all readed I I don't need to respond to this because I recognize that time and attention are currency whatever you're paying attention to you're paying with your time therefore view all conversations as either a bill or an investment all of that one more time time and attention are currency whatever you're paying attention to you are paying with your time therefore view every conversation as an investment or a bill Investments serve you and your assignment bills charge you I'll never forget this one time I don't know I don't know what I was thinking Sanchez I just felt like I had time today somebody made some comment uh under under something and I was really like getting Bible and you know I was commenting back and by the time I finished commenting back when I pressed post it it's like the app either crashed or I don't know what happened just didn't do it it was like sorry this been an error and I'm like man after I didn't sit here like I'm looking for grammatical errors I'm looking for punctuations I'm going finding scriptures putting it in here I spent at least 10 15 minutes making sure that all of this stuff was correct and hit post unable to so I closed the app and I'm thinking it's going to work after that it's gone I was like man you going to have to learn the power of a block party instead of trying to to convince somebody block you don't have there is a little button at the top of your social media it's called unfollow if they don't have the grace to press unfollow I could assist them and hit block was like that just freed me I Wast like 10 15 minutes responding and didn't even go through so that's just something I learned that time and attention are currency and whatever you're paying whatever you're giving whatever you're paying attention to your paying with your time so I view every conversation as a bill or an investment number six I think this is the most important give you a scripture and we're done knowing this is point number six knowing when to not reply is Christlike I know you would think to be Christlike is to give an answer to everybody Matthew 27:12 when he was accused by the chief priests and the elders he gave no answer then pilate asked him don't you hear the testimony that they're bringing against you but Jesus made no reply not even to a single charge to the great amazement of the governor sometimes people be in awe of you by your silence vers your degrees Jesus no reply he's a false prophet he said this ain't got nothing to say the only time Jesus did say something was when P kind of got arrogant was like man don't you know I had a power to kill you or let you go Jesus like hold on hold on time out time out flag and a play traveling offsides clipping hold up okay I need you to understand that no man takes my life I lay it down but if I lay my life down I'mma pick it back up again okay continue with your foolishness no reply is Christlike when you're able to recognize in that moment Jesus is like okay I'm I'm about to die for all of humanity I'm going to be crucified betrayed into the hands of Sinners on the third day I'm going to get up with all power my hand he kept saying this to his disciples so why in the world if Jes Jesus knew he's about to be crucified lied on spit on beat up killed why would I argue with all these people see when you know your assignment you don't have to reply I got to die so why am I going to try to defend myself when I know my assignment maybe that's it maybe that's it you don't know your assignment and so you respond to matter of fact since you don't know your assignment you make everything else your assignment I'm trying to get us to understand this simple truth very simple truth one of the jobs of the holy spirit is to produce in you self-control self-control in the day and the time that we live in right now God needs Kingdom men to represent God needs for Godly women to represent he needs examples be examples of the Believers in word in conduct in Purity this is Bible and just maybe just maybe my attitude is getting in the way of me being an example just maybe the trauma that I haven't dealt with on the inside is getting in the way of me being an example just maybe me feeling like I got to give everybody a piece of my mind is getting in the way of me being example five five words but Jesus gave no reply God would you help us to recognize when we don't need to respond to foolishness help us know our assignment so that we don't make other things our assignment and God most importantly help our minds to remember that you're the author and the finisher of our faith so nobody has editorial rights besides you forgive us for all of the times where we try to exercise Vengeance because of what they did we want to get them back Vengeance belongs to you we pray for those that hate us we pray for those that speak falsely against us mainly because we know that vengeance is yours and their arms are too small for your hands help us to have love in our heart so that we could produce this fruit of the Holy Spirit that's not touched on enough selfcontrol as we limit ourselves on be incredible Witnesses when we're reactive to when everybody pushes our buttons Jesus name we pray amen

Channel: REDEFINED TV

Views: 54,388

Keywords: redefinedtv, redefined tv, jerry flowers, Pastor Jerry flowers, Therapy Thursday, Don’t Believe Everything You Think, pastor jerry, healing, pastor jerry and Issac, therapy Thursday season 3, therapy, When They Push Your Buttons

Id: tSyVV7-MCuE

Length: 45min 38sec (2738 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 19 2024