- Welcome back to another episode of Ethan and Hila today, it's time to, you know, learn a bit about who we are as a generation. Today's video is a tech presentation that was put together by some company about, you know, being born mobile and how it's cool and it's hip and the young generation is just very hip and cool. - Those are always classics.
- Chyeah. So I think it's gonna speak to me, you and especially you guys out there, so, let's just go ahead and enjoy the video, guys, let's get it started. - "Soooo... I'm... not a techie, but if there's one thing I know well, it's my phone!" - It's my phone! This is a real person! - "...it's my phone!" - This is already, like, the embodiment of 'Hello, fellow children!' You know what I mean? - It really reminds me of 'Let's Get Social'. - Let's get sercial! Yeah, I can definitely see that. 'We're still cool and hip, we're gonna put together a presentation about born mobile!' - With a little hip hop! - You know there's gonna be hip hop in this shit. - "I have a lot of friends and I need to let them know what's up with me, because if I'm not posting, then it's like I don't even exist!" - What? What is this caricature of a person, is this what women are like today? 'If I'm not texting, I don't even exist!' 'Hello, fellow children, here's a presentation about technology. I'm not f- sixty years old, I'm twenty and hip.' - "I'm part of a new generation! When I'm away, I'm still in touch!" - It must be so funny to get this job, like... I'm sure she's like a normal person, right? - I mean, uh...
- Most people don't talk like that. - Wait, what are you talking about? That's a real person. That's a real representation of the generation born mobile. Duh, that's just a normal girl they got off the street, they're like 'just tell us about yourself.' It's the born mobile generation, Hila! Are you accusing these people of... DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN ...of setting this up? Clearly, you weren't...
- I don't know. - ...born mobile. Dude, we shouldn't be making this video, honestly, we should be focusing on social media right now. - I'm kind of a dead meme. - You're a bit of a dead meme ri- I mean me too, I've been watching this video for like... ...you know, three minutes. And I haven't even made a- I haven't dropped even one bomb tweet... ...in this three minutes time, I'm kind of a dead meme right now! Guys, please pause this video, drop some bomb-ass tweets, take some Instagrams, #nofilter, make sure your social media- you're present, 'kay? Make sure you're not disappearing from the Earth. - "And I'm sending the word out to you, to you, you to you, you aaaand... to you, you aaaand... you." - Why did y- why them three? - It was completely random. - You, you - Aaaaaand...
- and uh, listen, listen buddy. Definitely not you, dawg. Go for a jog, okay? Tighten it up. I'm definitely not gonna be accepting your friend request. You know that's the real life. - I'm really waiting for the hip hop verse. - There's got- please let there be hip hop in this. - "We're born mobile! It's our world our way! Or... my way." - "Okay, okay, we get it..." - STEP UP, COOL GUY! WHAT WE GOT HERE? - 'Okay, we get it!' - 'We get it, we get it, you fuckin' obnoxious - 'We get it, we get it, you fuckin' obnoxious b- - 'We get it, we get it, you fuckin' obnoxious b- dummy! I'm a cool-ass dude who uses cell phone to fuckin' find girls on I'm a cool-ass dude who uses cell phone to fuckin' find girls on Twin- I'm a cool-ass dude who uses cell phone to fuckin' find girls on Twin- Tinder and rape them! I date-raped like twenty girls this month on Tinder! Born mobile, motherfuckerrrs!' - Get social.
- They- They probably don't have that aspect, huh? - "Welp, I'm John, but better known by - "Welp, I'm John, but better known by Tornado! - "Welp, I'm John, but better known by Tornado! Tornado ninety two!" - TORNAYNO NINEYTEW - Oh my God, who are these characters? - I don't know these people... You know this was written by a bunch of, like, sixty year olds. Alright. I have a feeling this is all gonna get worse from here, Hila. Brace it. Brace it up. - "I'm world famous?" - 'I'm world famous?'
- 'I'M WORLD FAMOUS?' Ev- Apparently, everybody who was born mobile's a giant douchebag.
- Yeah. - What are they tryin' to say? It's like... in a way, they're tryin' to, like, make their characters, but what they're saying is that all these young kids are fuckin'... ...b-braindead, obnoxious douchebags. - Yeah.
- Not cool, guys! Not cool! I was born meubile. And I'm ready to get seucial. - Seucial.
- That's how he says it! 'Let's get sershal.' If you guys don't know what we're talking about, we made a reaction video, like... ...years ago to this great video called 'Let's Get Social 2014'. ...years ago to this great video called 'Let's Get Social 2015'. I guess it wasn't years ago, - Not years ago.
- it was last year ago. It was literally last year. So if you haven't seen 'Let's Get Social 2015', definitely check out that reaction video, it's... Actually... - It's very social. - Well not only that, that's where the chub n' tuck was born! - THAT'S SO TRUE!
- The ch- The chub n' tuck was born - Yeah!
- in that video, 'Let's Get Social', so check that out! Let's get sershul! - Original chub n' tuck.
- He's- it- share for share, age, sex, location, - bacon pics?
- bacon pics. That's a classic. So this is basically 'Let's Get Social 2016'. - Yeah. - The future is now. - "Well, I'm a tournament champion in China, I'm a threat all over Europe and I just p0wned half the world from backstage, so eat it VolcanoMom53! Whooooo WhoooooAAAAP!" - This guy is so- He must be so embarrassed right now. - This is so weird. - That being said, visually very impressive. - I like how they always try to make it seem like... ...we're in the future! Just do that and like, the effect happens, it's like... - He made that happen. This wasn't well rehearsed and planned. He made that happen. - "He's a gamer, he's antisocial, he, uh, probably eats junk food and speaks Wookie. But here's the deal. I don't live in my parents' basement, I'm not... ...allergic to the sun as you can tell by ...allergic to the sun as you can tell by mah flawless ...allergic to the sun as you can tell by mah flawless complEXION!" - Neil- - Neil- Neil Tyson deGrasse gif. - Ughhh, like, the cringe is too strong.
- This is, like, the cringest video of all time. It- It truly is so cringey, like, wow. I like how he's like... 'I'm not the stereotype you thought I was.' - *unintelligible*
- 'I'm just a - *unintelligible*
- 'I'm just a BOOOOMB who's va- defeated Volcano ninety THREEEE!' - My- What did he say? - Suck it, - 'Suck it, VelcanoMOM! I'm not the person you thought I was, SUCK A *unintelligible* VOLCANOMOM!' The fuck? - "...have a sweet job and a hot girlfriend and by hot, I mean like and by hot, I mean like FUEGO!" *pain* - Dude, you should not have taken this job. - Er, what?
- You can never work in this- - Er, what?
- You can never work in this- in this town again... ...Mr. Fuego. Mr. VolcanoMom. Mr. Fuckin' Fuego Girlfriend. You're- You're- You're done, dude. - I need this. - I need t- We need to shield ourselves. - This is hard.
- This is getting too intense. This is getting too intense. Okay, I'm protected now. Let me just- I - Oh God.
- think I need to put this down even more, to be honest. Like this is d- I'm- I'm being exposed to too much video still right now. 'kay. - Can you see anything? - No, that's the point, dude. - "It doesn't matter where I am, the world is my playground, I could be... I could be... in-in I could be... in-in Canada or... or I could be... in-in Canada or... or Kazakhstan or I could be... in-in Canada or... or Kazakhstan or Antarctica (But why though?) I could be... in-in Canada or... or Kazakhstan or Antarctica, I- I could be... in-in Canada or... or Kazakhstan or Antarctica, I- I c- I can play whoever wherever! I'm always dodgin' it! I'm always dodgin' it! hoo" "See... "See... I'm a part of this new generation too." - Dawg, what the fuck, dude? Are you on medicine? What kind of meds are you on dude? Ssstop. - Are you dodgin' it? *fwoo* - 'I'm just a normal dude - 'I'm just a normal dude FUEGO - 'I'm just a normal dude FUEGO FUCK MOMS - 'I'm just a normal dude FUEGO FUCK MOMS WHOOWOW - 'I'm just a normal dude FUEGO FUCK MOMS WHOOWOW DODGIN' IT - 'I'm just a normal dude FUEGO FUCK MOMS WHOOWOW DODGIN' IT HEY I'M JUST A NORMAL GUY! DI ID WAT NORMAL PEOPLE SOUND LIKE! BORN MOBILE, BABY!' - Oh Goooood. - 'IM ON T- - 'IM ON T- A B- - 'IM ON T- A B- TRILLION MILLIGRAMS OF ADHD MEDICINE - 'IM ON T- A B- TRILLION MILLIGRAMS OF ADHD MEDICINE HAGH!!! - 'IM ON T- A B- TRILLION MILLIGRAMS OF ADHD MEDICINE HAGH!!! MAGH!!!!! I'm born mobile I'm born mobile HAGH!!!' His polar bear's got glasses like you. Born mobile, dude, pound it, dude, born mobile! - Pound iiit! - "...played you before, you're not bad." - "Not bad? Dude, you want a rematch, you let me - "Not bad? Dude, you want a rematch, you let me KNOOOOOW!" - "Oh em gee - "Oh em gee I'm surrounded by geeks! Thousands of them!" - She's rude! - Oh em gee! - What? That's how people talk. This is real life. But she was like I'm surrounded by geeks. Thousands of them! - She- She was calling you a geek.
- Wooooow. She was talking to both of us! - I don't think she was talking to me, personally
- ALL of you guys! - but, de-definitely you. - What are you talking about? You're the one sitting there with, like, Geordi La Forge goggles, I'm ta- I'm trying to cover my face, I'm the cool guy. - I'm like...
- I got a shirt of Biggie Smalls, who are you? - I got the flawless complexion! - Flawless complexion fuego! I guess you're probably right, she was talkin' to me. Dude, you're so cool. You were definitely born mobile. - Half mobile. - Half mobile? I was born pager to be honest. Guys out there who were born pager, drop a nine-one-one in the, uh... ...comment section so I can know how many of you guys are out there. We are strong and we will prevail, Hila, even though you think you're cool you were born mobile, I was born pager. Drop a nine-one-one in the comments, show your support for those of us who were born pager. That means get home right away, that means dinner's ready. - Basically, you're a grandpa. - Nine-one-one means dinner's ready, Hila and - Oh em gee.
- don't delay, because a- you don't wanna get - Ethan.
- home 'fore it gets cold. - "My phone is my conference room! It's my guide! It helps me to move mountains!" "It's my vacation planner!" - Wow, dude, your phone... Wow, your phone has a calendar in it! Holy shit, dude, we have come a long way! - "Can you DIG IT?" - "DUDE! Yes, I can dig it!" - "Du- - "Du- We're all over the place! Everywhere you look! Billions of us and counting!" - "Dude, like, oh man, it's like..." - Is this redheaded guy on drugs? OH DUDE MAN IT'S SO SICK *unintelligible* OH DUDE MAN IT'S SO SICK *unintelligible* (Hello Kitty?) IT'S LIKE - "Dude, like, oh man, it's like..." - Born mobile? Let's talk about the medicine epidemic for a minute. Holy smokes. - "...more empowered, we're more connected... - "...than any other generation in the history of man!" - "Dude, it'S LIKE, it's like we've evolved, we're like modern nomads!" - Chill out, we- - Oh my God, it's...
- you're v- you get way too excited! - He's freaking out!
- He's- You're ove- Either he's overselling it or maybe he's just really like that. - Dewd! - Dewd!
- ERRGH!!!!! DEH!!!!! *unintelligible* *Ethan Klein Coughs™* *Ethan Klein Coughs™* I think I can see too much.
- Yeah. - Now I'm completely blind, I think this is the right amount that I need to be able to see. - Play it. - "Because these days, you gotta be mobile if you wanna be a top dog!" - "Or a tough-ass warrior!" - "Or super popular!" - "Or... - "Or... a CEO." - WHAT?! - wat - Did I just s- - Did I just s- Did that- Did that just happen? Did that just happen right now? I need to- We need to watch that. Take off the gear, Hila. Come out of the cringe cave! We need to see- We need to see- da- what? - "Because these days, you gotta be mobile if you wanna be a top dog!" - "Or a tough-ass warrior!" - "Or super popular!" - "Or... - "Or... a CEO." *Ethan Klein Coughs™* - What? Who is that guy? - A CEO... - "...a CEO." - ...that was born mobile.
- Whaaaaat? - This must be the craziest ending - of anything!
- That is, like, the best ending ever! I so didn't expect, like, the actual CEO to, like, pop out and be like... - Or... a CEO. - He's all beaming with pride and shit.
- Yeah. - Holy - Holy SMOKES. - This is the craziest ending to any video. - It's like you don't even expe- like, you- you don't expect that they can top the cringe. - Yeah.
- But they do! Big time! - "Or... - "Or... a CEO." - What is he looking at? He's like- What the... - "Or... - "Or... a CEO. ...a CEO. ...a CEO. ...a CEO. ...a CEO. ...a CEO. *deeper* ...a CEO. ...a CEO. ...a CEO. *deeper* ...a CEO. *yet deeper* ...a CEO. - It's too much, dude! - It's too much, dude!
- "...it's my phone!" - It's too much! - It's too much!
- "...a CEO." *pain* - "Tornado ninety two!" "I'm world famous?" *muffled pain* "FUEGO!" - "...my vacation planner!" - "I'm always dodgin' it! hoo-" - NO! - NO!
- "Oh em gee-" - "Or... - "Or... a CEO." - AGH - "A CEO A CEO A CEO A CEO" - *deeper* "A CEO" - "Wow, Ethan, great moves, keep it up, proud of you!"
Thank god they posted. I can't remember the last time they went this long without a video. My thirst was real
I love how someone thought that this would be a good idea... It's like this at every E3 too.
im a person
Tornado92! makes swoosh noises
The funny thing is, it doesn't even stop here. This was only the first few minutes. The presentation goes on much longer, and just never lets up. This is the keynote to beat in terms of cringe, and no one has even come close.
https://youtu.be/v7qTHbOEiDY
To explain on the Maroon 5 part, that music was actually part of the livestream. They booked Maroon 5, but never bothered to obtain the rights to broadcast Maroon 5 on their stream.
Oh my god, this just set the bar for the millennial stereotype. It's going to take weeks if not months to overcome this shit... Papa save us
Holy shit this is a Qualcomm CES keynote. I thought it was some kind of obscure conference about the web 2.0.
Cringe cave - a meme is born.