♪♪ <i> [audience cheering]</i> Come on, guys! There's got to be some guys
out there for us! What about this one? Is one of his pics
a bathroom mirror selfie? Yeah. I'd swipe left. Yeah. Eh? Both: No. Eh? No! No! Eh? Both: Wow. That's a
really cute dog. Yeah. That dog could be the one,
Natalie. He looks so sweet,
like he'd take care of you. Yeah. But the guy braids his beard
into his chest hair. But the dog,
Natalie! The dog. How does he move his head? What if he doesn't bring the dog
on the date? Oh, she does have a point. I once went on four dates
with a guy, hoping to meet his dog, only to find out
it was his mom's dog. And he had a bird. Both: Oh! And he was part
of ISIS. What? And he had a bird! Oh, look at
this guy! Oh, is that
his apartment? That's an Anthropolgie coach,
swipe right. Oh, it looks
so soft. The rest of his pics are
just of him and not of the couch. Come on,
enhance! Can you zoom in
on the couch pic? Enhance it,
enhance it. I just want to see
if it's suede. Mm. I wish he wasn't shirtless
on it, I mean don't get
your Cheeto sweat on that velvet
Anthropologie masterpiece. Should I swipe right just to tell him to take better
care of his couch? No, no. What if he gets mad
you aren't interested and takes it out
on the couch? Right, think of the couch. Yeah. Why do guys always have
to post shirtless pics? And some of them
try to be sneaky about it, so they don't seem as shallow. Shirtless while
rock-climbing. Shirtless while doing a hula
dance at a children's charity? Oh, shirtless while
using his t-shirt as a tourniquet
for a bleeding deer? Pass! I see you, you just want
me to see your gym bod, brah. It's like, we get it,
you have a torso! Oh man. You guys, this
guy doesn't have a torso. Both: Huh. I'm swiping right. Yeah, I would. For sure. Oh! Guys, guys, guys, oh never mind. He's got too many selfies
with his grandma. See that one's tough,
because on one hand, awww, he's best buds
with his grandma. And on the other hand, he's best buds
with his grandma! Yeah. Oh, humanitarian selfie! Oh, please, like you remember all those
third world children's names? A-left a-swipe. Classic, classic,
a girl's arm is cut off on the side
of the photo. Oh, I see, so you cropped out
your ex-wife or your hot mom, either way,
I don't need that drama. No. Oh, you guys,
look at this guy. Oh Mal, his first pic is
a group pic. <i> So?</i> It's too bad, he's probably
that ugly short one on the left. You don't know that, he could be the one in the
middle with the good hair. [gasp] He was the janitor
in the background. <i> [audience laughs]</i> Oh man, this is
just making me sad, you guys. Guys, we just have
to keep swiping. Mallory:<i> Yeah.</i> Okay, doubletime! <i> Excuse me,</i> you guys haven't seen my
pure-bred German Shepherd anywhere around here, have you? Oh my goodness. He's wearing
an Anthropologie collar. Mallory: Right! Whitney:I'm swiping but
he's not coming to me. Natalie: Show me more angles. Mallory: Where's
the shirtless pic? Oh my. <i> [audience cheering]</i> What is wrong with guys today? I don't know. <i> Okay,</i> y'all have
been here for 14 hours, it's time to go. Please, left for you. Do I look like a cellular phone
application? Go on, and git, crazy ladies! Go on! Go on and git! Fine. Don't make me say
it a fourth time-- Go now! I was the janitor
in the background. <i> [audience cheering]</i> ♪♪ Natalie: Hey guys, thanks for
watching that sketch, and make sure you subscribe
to our channel. Whitney: And like this video. Mallory: Mm-hmm,
and comment below about something surprising that
you would swipe right on, on a dating app. Mallory: Like a guy
with gray hair. Whitney: Silver fox. Natalie: That's true,
some guys can pull it off. Mallory: Right
swipe. Yes please. Natalie: No teeth. Whitney: I was going to say
no nose.
