When Life Gets Ugly - Esther 1

[Music] the title of this morning's message is when life gets ugly and you've seen it i've seen it that life does get ugly at times you face ugly circumstances whether it's a virus or a sneeze or things like that going on things happen in life right the boss says hey it's mandatory overtime the the job gets lost whatever it might be there's ugly circumstances and then there are ugly relational factors that we face sometimes there are you know policies that we don't agree with or politicians we don't agree with or authority figures or wives you may not agree with your husband all the time and so their life constantly has this aspect of ugliness and the question i present to you is what do you do in those time what's your what's your plan mike tyson that epic boxer said this great quote he said everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face and then you start biting ears you know i'm sorry but uh you know it's something like that it happens but what do you do when life does get ugly do you just grin and bear it do you clamp down and stress out do you lash out what happens before us and esther chapter one we see life get ugly and we see people get uglier in the midst of that ugliness though god is doing a great work he is still working he's setting the sage for some stage for something absolutely amazing which is to redeem his people from death through a woman by the name of esther so i'm going to give you a little background and breakdown of this book and then we're going to dive into what to do when life gets ugly the book of esther it's one of only two books named after women the other one is ruth and esther ruth is interesting in fact as we studied it that ruth is a gentile who marries a jew and comes into the lineage of the messiah esther is a jew who marries a gentile and is used by god to save her people from certain death both great women can't wait to meet them when i get to heaven but the book of esther was written about 483 bc and records events that take place about 10 years when the israelites were held captive in persia modern-day iran is what it is well how'd they get there the babylonians came in in 586 bc and ransacked jerusalem and took the people captive back to babylon there in babylon they were they lived for a while until another kingdom called the the medo-persian kingdom the persians under by a guy by the name of cyrus the great came in and ransacked babylon and took the people there captive and so the jews were dispersed and they were away from their homeland there was probably of the 2 million jews there was 60 000 that eventually under cyrus came back to rebuild jerusalem the other million plus stayed in their homes some in persia some in in babylon just scattered wherever they were and yet god was faithful to his people he was faithful and this account tells us of his faithfulness to care for them and redeem them esther her name means star anybody named esther here well you're a star if you are look in the mirror and say i'm a star i'm just kidding but esther was a actually a jewish maiden her name was hadassah and in an incredible way she became queen of persia through a miss persia pageant basically a beauty contest she was elevated to that position and god used her in a great way to deliver the children of israel from a massacre the king that's mentioned here is art exercise uh and he's often called a hazaris but that is a title like caesar or pharaoh that we would use to describe that person that title so sometimes it's used as a hacerus and sometimes as xerxes but esther was not only used in her day she actually paved the way for another guy that we know very well who served as a cup bearer in the courts of the king a guy by the name of nehemiah esther came before nehemiah nehemiah served under the next king his name was artix xerxes longamanus and but nehemiah as you read that account there the book before esther was was given permission to go and rebuild jerusalem but all that came about because of esther who paved the way for someone like him so esther becomes this incredible woman used by god to deliver her people to leave a legacy for future generations of jewish people just absolutely amazing what has god got with your life you don't know you may just be a face in the crowd right now and maybe he's working something down the road it's for the glory of god in your life that's what we always have to consider it's not for you to become the next american idol is that show still on i don't know it's for you to glorify god in your life the theme of esther is found in the middle of the book in chapter 4 verse 14 for such a time as this is her uncle mordecai says if if you don't stand up and say something then god is going to raise somebody else but who's to say you've been brought into this position for such a time as this and so what we begin to see is today how ugly things are before god does this beautiful work in his time the breakdown of the book is simple the first two chapters deal with how esther is chosen to be queen chapters three through seven what esther did to deliver her people the jews and then chapters eight through ten the jews revenge their enemies and so let's dive into this and begin to see it unfold chapter one verse 1. now it came to pass in the days of ahasuras that was a hacerus who reigned over 127 provinces from india to ethiopia in those days when king ahasrus sat on the throne of his kingdom which was in shushan the citadel that in the third year of his reign he made a feast for all his officials and servants the powers of persia and media the nobles and the princes of the provinces being before him and when he showed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the splendor of his excellent majesty for many days 180 days in all and when these days were completed the king made a feast lasting seven days for all the people who were present in shusha the citadel from great to small in the court of the garden of the king's palace verse six there were white and blue linen curtains fastened with cords of fine linen and purple on silver rods and marble pillars and the couches were of gold and silver on mosaic pavement of alabaster turquoise and white and black marble and they served drinks and golden vessels each vessel being different from the other with royal wine and abundance according to the generosity of the king in accordance with the law the drinking was not compulsory for so the king had ordered all the officers of his household that they should do according to each man's pleasure and queen vashti also made a feast for the women in the royal palace which belonged to king ahasaris so what do we note this about king xerxes here we can note three things first is his power and in verse one it tells us that he reigned over 127 provinces from india to ethiopia now let me give you a map here so you can see the vast expanse of the persian empire there in the red stretching all the way through to uh ethiopia down there by egypt and all the way out to india 127 different provinces he ruled over in this area the second thing we note in verses two through five is this man's party uh history tells us that persia was about to go against greece and if they conquered greece they would be the dominant worldwide uh ruling party and so the king tells the king tells his military leaders we're going to rally you together there at the capitol uh city here for this campaign and he throws this sixth month party it tells us in verse four it went 180 days six-month party for them and then after that another week party for all the people in this place called shusha and that is the winter palace uh also a capital city there and what was he doing that for well his purpose was to show them all his riches his glory his majesty to bolster up this nationalism before they went for this battle and all the people would know how glorious king xerxes is it was all to boost them up and to build him up too in verses six through nine we find his pleasures and how he spared no expense at this party the decor was really top of the line custom-made stuff i mean he had chip and joanne gaines come in and it was persian fixer-upper it tells us they had blue and white curtains and marble pillars and couches of gold and silver pavement the pavement was a mosaic of alabaster turquoise white and black marble you know probably some shiplap in there too somewhere but the point is is that this guy went all out all out i want to show them how glorious my kingdom is we read about the drinks in verse seven they were all collector's cups of golden vessels that he had there flow of wine just to show how generous the king was in verse 8 we read that he even allowed the people to do whatever they wanted there was no restriction on the j on the drinking in the ancient tradition it was this that when the king held the party then everybody was required to drink the first round if not you would leave the party and after that was over then the king you know the king would just say do what you want at this point though if this party now starts he says there's one rule and that is there's no rules you do whatever you want there is nothing by compulsory you drink till your heart's content and it was just a drunken fest verse nine tells us that the queen had a feast for her royal uh women as well and so what do we know about this we note this that whatever we adore we advertise and that's what they wanted people to know this is what we are about the glory the power the pleasures the possessions and all that is what they they put out to there and and these guys it was like you know lifestyles of the rich and famous if you're younger it was like keeping up with the persians you know is something like that going on our own reality tv show is that they wanted everybody to know this is what it is man it's all about us and these things lots of drama but what we can note spiritually is what we see here is a reflection often of what we see today people who don't know the lord are going to search for life in everything from partying to drinking to possessions to materialism to relationships man if i could just have that corner office and the high-rise and this that and the other that's what they search for it's simply a reflection of our own hearts from the very beginning we've been that way god's created this hole that we in humanity try to fill with all these things and it just doesn't work until we get to the place where you say lord would you feel it you're the author of life fill that hole in my life and he does and then we find true satisfaction but it's not just a reflection of what we see today it also shows us what happens it's the expectation when you follow after the flesh the bible tells us that when you sow to those fleshly desires those sinful pleasures and all those things to gratify yourself it's going to reap a destruction in your life and with others and that's what we see take place right now everything's going fine and dandy until things start to get ugly in verse 10 there is a marriage encounter look at this verse on the seventh day when the heart of the king was mary with wine he commanded muhuman bista harban bigfa abbagatha zether and kharkharkis what a name what's your name boy carcass boy is smelling today or something seven eunuchs who served in the presence of king hosurus to bring queen vashti before the king wearing her royal crown in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials for she was beautiful to behold the queen vashti refused to come at the king's command brought by his eunuchs therefore the king was furious and his anger burned within him jewish tradition says that all these officials at this party were were arguing about which province had the most beautiful women and the king in his pride and his drunkenness commanded the servants bring my queen in so that he could show her off to her to his buds his prized trophy wife you might say vashti's name means beautiful and so she refuses but the question is why because in that culture for a woman to refuse her husband let alone the king was pretty serious so what's going on something unusual within this request at the very least she was to unveil her face which was a taboo in that culture but it is thought possibly that he wanted her to come in only wearing her royal crown that's it it was a not a good move demeaning degrading and she didn't want to be humiliated it's a true beauty and the beast scenario why did he say such a thing well verse 10 tells us that the heart of the king was merry with wine he was drunk and you'll find that alcohol makes people stupid in many ways in their actions and their reasoning and their demands and it often escalates immoral behavior it's been said that when alcohol enters wisdom departs it does and so this is not a loving thing for any husband to do towards his wife but let me give you a few lessons and some of these are are basically marriage marriage counseling 101 here on sunday morning lesson number one when life get out gets ugly is you want to identify the ugly motivators what is causing this ugliness is it the materialism is it the attitude of selfishness is it the influence of alcohol is it lust is it whatever it is these things are going to pave way for future problems listen to what the bible says in galatians chapter 5 the acts of the flesh are obvious sexual immorality impurity debauchery which is partying and self-indulging idolatry and witchcraft hatred discord jealousy fits of rage selfish ambition dissensions factions and envy drunkenness orgies and the like i warn you as i did before that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of god so vashti would not comply with his ugly demands ain't nobody got time for that and said i'm sorry interesting that she didn't even come to the courts of the king to tell him that in person she just responded to the messengers lesson number two when ugly when life gets ugly to stand strong in your convictions no matter the cost because you find out this that compromise never fixes sinful ugly actions that often only makes it worse and this queen would lose her crown but she would hold on to her integrity she would be banished she would be kind of defaced she would be painted as ugly in the eyes of the people her reputation getting smeared but she still had her integrity and for you and i we have to decide that what is true and what am i going to do with that truth verse 12 but when but queen vashti refused to come before the king at the king's command she refused and the king what does he do he lost it he became furious and his anger burned within him so stupid drunk now turns to angry drunk you find that the wounded ego often wounds others too and it's no longer about what's right or wrong it starts to now turn into the control aspect who's going to be in charge told of a couple that were in an argument and they were giving each other the silent treatment you've seen that in your house probably if you've been married more for a year it happens and it does so he didn't want to lose the battle and so he had a very important meeting the next day and had to catch a plane at 5am and so he wrote on a note please wake me up at 5am and put it on her pillow the next day 9am he wakes up he's he's just he missed his flight he's in a tizzy he's furious and he's just about to go lay into his wife and he looks down and he sees a note there on the bed and it says it's 5 am wake up the power struggle is real and conflict enhances it at this time we really do see the heart of a lot of marriage problems has to do with love and respect now understand this that the husband here in a sense gets angry because the wife won't do what he desires and he feels disrespectful his request was completely wrong let's just lay that aside but that's what's going on in his heart he feels disrespected and the wife on the other hand this this queen she refuses to submit or even to talk about it because her husband doesn't love her rightly so i respect his authority and so you see it played out it's nothing new the conflict of love and respect in a marriage is happening but now that he's offended and furious things get worse look at verse 13. and the king said to the wise men who understood the times for this was the king's manner towards all who knew the law of justice those closest to him being these names i'm not going to say seven princes of persia and media who had access to the king's presence and who ranked highest in the kingdom what shall we do to queen vashti according to the law because she did not obey the command of the king ahasaris brought to her by the eunuchs you see he should have called for marriage counseling at this point but instead he calls for seven of his lawyer buddies his lawyer closest advisors and says hey what do we do what do we do with this thing what's our next move how do we deal with this disobedience lesson number three when life gets ugly i encourage you to look in the mirror first before passing out the blame to others did i start this mess by my own stupid ways david writes in psalms 139 he says search me o god and know my heart try me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting can you admit when you're wrong can you admit when you're wrong and maybe that you need fixing too or is it all about you know what if they would get their act together life would be perfect am i helping resolve the conflict peaceably or just making things worse by my actions you see this king instead of owning up to his own prideful heart he's planning how to make her look bad and him good when he was the idiot in the first place who made a stupid request he would rather than value her integrity in the matter he would rather listen to his drunk buddies telling him what to do with his wife this is not good instead of confessing his own stupidity he seeks to cover it verse 16 and the and manukin answered before the king and the princes queen vashti is not only wrong the king but also all the princes and all the people who are in all the provinces of king ahasheras for the queen this behavior will become known for all women so that they will despise their husbands in their eyes when they report king josephus commanded queen vashti to be brought in before him but she did not come nate her name or nanner this very day the noble ladies of persia and media will say to all the king's officials that they have heard of the behavior of the queen thus there will be excessive contempt and wrath basically other women are going to hear of her disobedience they're going to follow that same example or 17 they're going to despise their husbands in their eyes verse 18 they're going to be excessive contempt and wrath there's going to be a rebellion that occurs in our land king women's rights marches on the capital lawn you know it's gonna take place we can't have that there's a persian women's liberation movement's gonna take place and we can't have that so what are we gonna do i know flex your manly muscles let's clamp down let's control that show them who's in charge when conflict happens how many marriages turn towards legalism rather than love you start he starts feeling like he's got to jump through hoops to keep the peace she always feels like she can't measure up to any expectations and they're both waiting for who's going to have control in this day it's sad you'll find that humility leads to repentance and repentance leads to love and love wins the heart and makes the marriage a joy but legalism on the other hand rules justin may enforce the will but they build the pride and eventually destroy the marriage we have to be careful that we let love lead so lesson number four when life gets ugly try to settle things down rather than blow them up don't jump to worst case scenarios because of a bad decision notice in verse 16 he uses all quite a bit all all all all be patient you know that conflict may not be as bad as you think and you start adding fuel to the fire and it just turns into a wildfire and you have to ask yourself are you a peacemaker or a peace taker in these situations too often one person does the wrong out of fear we start to clamp down we fear loss we fear pain we feel some type of suffering in it and it really it's only a power move it's not good notice here the government control yikes making it worse verse 19. if it pleases the king let the royal decree go out from him and let it be recorded in the laws of the persians and the medes so that it will not be altered you couldn't alter the law the persians and the mede once it was set it was done you had to counter it with another law he says that vasti shall come no more before king a and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she in a sense these lawyers say write her up divorce papers kick her to the curb and just get another wife better than her lesson number five is this that when things get ugly in life guard who you allow to influence your decisions guard it carefully because i'll tell you this the world will say when it's tough in marriage cut your losses and start over god says when it's tough in marriage strength in your marriage bond and you'll make it through the world says divorce them god says love them and forgive them the world says you're better off with someone else god says you're better off staying put in working it out the world says you deserve better than that god says i knew what i was doing when i put you together marriage is not to make you happy it's to make you holy and when done god's way you'll find that it's a blessing and done your own way you'll find it's a disaster and realize this that your spouse is there those of you that are married your spouse is there to work on your character by the hand of god and smooth out some of those rough spots they expose it like nothing else right everyone has flaws and marriage exposes it but when life gets ugly who do you run to and who are you listening to is it god's word or is it your lawyer buddies is it your gal pals that are men haters you will always listen you can always find if you search long enough you can always find someone to agree with you even though you may be clearly wrong that's why we have to go back to the word of god what does god's word say that i need to do and go forward in back to his word verse 20 and when the king decreed when the king's decree which he will make is proclaimed throughout all the empire for it is great all wives will honor their husbands both great and small this is a rule by force not love and a marriage run by force and fear is bound to fall apart verse 21 and that the reply pleased the king and the princes and the king did according to the word of manukin then he sent letters to all the king's provinces to each province in its own script and every people in their own language that each man should be master in his own house and speak the language of his own people can you imagine a marital problem in the white house sorry hypothetically let's just say there's a marital problem in the white house and it they put forth a rule for the whole nation you would say you got problems not me you deal with it i don't need you clamping down my wife and i are good don't tell me now i've got to rule my own house scary now it becomes legalistic it really is a satanic work of destroying what marriage is all about but talk about male chauvinism taking place here the law twisted up the situation and told each man you need to be master of your own house and women in this culture often were only one step higher than a slave but let me tell you what the bible says the bible elevates women when society won't always has always will from the very beginning when the light shined and god said let there be light and the creation took place when he created eve out of adam he created her right out of his side to be close to his heart next to him not his head to be over him not his feet to be under him from the very beginning of the first chapters of the bible she was a companion to him that's how god saw it hey lights are lights but the bible elevates and jesus wants us yes to manage our homes but he let him be the master of the home for me and my house we will serve the lord and god designed it and knows how it works best but here is a classic case of when the society gets in to a family and tries to tell them how to run and you'll find this that when the government gets involved in how marriages are to work it's always a mess because it's not their prerogative bible has declared how marriage is supposed to work god the inventor of it knows how marriage is supposed to work society tells men to be macho to treat women as possession to rule over your wife and then men in the end you steamroll her and you end up thinking if only she would submit things would be better and society tells women to manipulate a man sexually to put up with their husbands because they're just stubborn oxes and idiots to be guarded because they'll eventually gonna cheat on you or become your own independent woman even if you are married and in the end wives you sabotage your own marriage and then blame him for the failure of it if only he would love me rightly it's his fault and the cycle goes round and round see a society will paint this picture that a husband loving his wife is oh he's a but a woman who's submitting to her husband she's just weak that's not what the bible says in fact let me give you some marriage counseling in five minutes turn to ephesians chapter five if you're not married you just store these things in the back of your heart because this is exactly how god sees a marriage to work ephesians chapter 5 starting in verse 21 paul writes and says submitting to one another in the fear of god and we can stop right there because before any instruction on how a marriage is supposed to work there is a mutual submission to each other under the lord right away the foundation for a godly marital instruction is that reality of submission and the lord being first in your marriage hey listen if god is not first in your marriage then there's your problem there's your first problem put him first and then he gives this instruction to the wives wives submit to your own husbands as to the lord for the husband is head of the wife as also christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore just as the church is subject to christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything now wives what he's talking about with submission i love this word because it's not a grueling thing think about it break it down sub means to come under you think about submarine come under and mission you're coming under the mission of marriage what is the mission of marriage but designed by the one who invented it verse 32 it tells us that the husband is to act like christ and the wife is to act like the church there is a mutual uh reflection of that and we have to ask ourselves is my marriage a reflection of that relationship that god designed or is it more like wwe you know there's chairs thrown there's words saying there's provoking things and craziness happens and you know it's you don't want that you say well i don't feel like submitting to my husband well notice he says it's as to the lord first and it's in the context of not if it's not not towards sin and you realize wives that your submission is an act of trusting in the lord it literally means submit is the life that sees the yes doesn't mean you see everything negative it's you find the yes there's an aspect of trust i am going to trust in the lord i'm going to trust my husband because i know his heart for me is not to hurt me it's not just make me suffer he's trying to listen to the lord he's praying about it i can trust even though it may be hard this is the direction that we need to go i can trust him now husbands verse 25 he says husbands love your wives just as christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and clean sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish blemish so husbands here's your part you got to love her as jesus did and what did jesus do he died hey marriage is going to kill you get it through dude your purpose in that marriage is to die to love her to the death and to die to everything it's not about your rights it's about god's way and so you're going to find ways you know i want to do this this way and god's going to say nope you need to die to yourself you're not in charge i am and you die to your ego you die to your ways and you love your wife the right way you listen you understand our heart and concerns you pray and then you lead your marriage forward look what he says in verse 28 so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the lord does the church so men love her as you love your own body say i need some me time i need to go golfing fridays are my me time i'm going golfing what does she have i don't know doesn't matter i get me time my wife and i worked out something great years ago when we had little ones and if you're in that place with little ones so i'd encourage you this is that take those uh i have fridays off and so we would take uh fridays and i would take one week and she would take the next week and i would just she would say hey i want you to just be gone i got the kids this friday you're gone i'll see you at dinner time do whatever you want whatever and i would go for the day without a care in the world and she knew next week's miweek it was mutual agreement it was easy because when i'm suffering caring for the kids and going man this is not why does she get to go to engineers hey i get next week sweet but you know what you see what i'm saying there's that agreement in there too often she's been dealing with kids all day and you come home exhausted but you don't know the load i've had in my work week and da da da da just starts an argument she's trying to unload you're not wanting to take it and it goes back and forth round and round and you fight find ways through it you run off with your boys you give her time with her gals you make sure she is cared for i bless your spouse because you're connected as one jesus says look in verse 30 for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh your one flesh it's not a competition for attention it's a completion for the glory of god verse 32 this is a great mystery but i speak concerning christ and the church nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband this is his point when you act accordingly you'll be blessed abundantly when you as a a a wife respect that husband and stop demeaning his ability to lead because he's simply trying to learn what it's about and you encourage him rather than cut him down you're going to find the blessings of the lord when you as a husband say i'm going to love my wife because ultimately god's made her to want this knight in shining armor that's going to rescue her and love her to the very end when you act like that you're going to be blessed the lord put it right in his word our problem is not information we've got the instruction our problem is application because the sin nature in us says i don't want to do that lord change them not me that's what happens that's how god sees a marriage work that's what he gave two thousand years ago and it still stands today when things get ugly go back to the word of god and listen to what god has to say one last point we'll close lesson number six when life gets ugly remember it's not over it's only a chapter this is one chapter out of ten of course next week's pretty ugly too but my point is that you may be at a point where you're so focused on what your spouse is doing that irks you that you haven't considered the fact that god is doing something in your life in the big picture to build you the character the trial the issue that situation maybe he's setting the sage for something absolutely glorious in your life by the hand of god remember how the story ends because it changes how you act in the chapter that you're in esther had no idea that this marital problem in the white house in the palace that filters down to society would be this catalyst to bring her into doing god's will in her life god does amazing things let's pray

Channel: Calvary Chapel North Phoenix

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Id: byWuRr9mdSc

Length: 38min 43sec (2323 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 19 2021