What to know BEFORE becoming a Doula

this is injustice this is wrong it's easy to say that I just said it right now it was very easy for me to say that it's harder to do the work first make it real with yourself then go out and change to make the decisions that they want for their breaking experiences and as a doula just creating an environment with families feel empowered to make decisions about their birthing experiences themselves now first I am so so thankful so so grateful if you didn't see already I'll link it somewhere here wherever that is and feel free to go and watch the last birth I was at that moment was so strong and she was gracious enough to allow me to record her birds for the purposes of displaying it to you guys and as a teaching tool and for your enjoyment of course too so I want to thank that mama so much I can't think her enough honestly and stay tuned for the part two it will be out very soon I'm just waiting on a couple of things from the videographer that was there but yeah so definitely stay tuned for that so today I wanted to talk to you guys about today I want to talk about five things that I wish I knew before I came into the doula world okay these are five tips my things that I wish someone would have sat me down and told me five things that I wish that I would have been privy to um just five tips okay I'm gonna try and do this quickly but I want you to get all the information if you are a new doula if you're an aspiring doula or if you are maybe a family who's thinking about having a doula at their birth or if you just one person wants to watch this video I see you sis thank you for being here if you are someone who is just interested in the birth world in general these are important things to know because I think the birth called is not talked about enough unfortunately and there's just a lot going on at all times I've invested a lot of money in like going to buy tools and buying a new bag I had just finished my training so I'd spent $500 on my training I was saving up for certification which is another five hundred dollars there was just a lot of money involved and my first tip for any doula that it's think or any person that's thinking about becoming a doula is that it takes no money to start okay the word doula it is a noun but in my opinion in a lot of ways it's a verb as well and to be a doula you have to do you have to start it really is as simple as going in attending a birth and acting in a role that is supportive to that mom okay and if you've done that already if you attended your sister's burns if you extended your best friends with birth if you send in your mama's birth if you turn in your cousin's burg they don't even matter if you were there and you were supporting them and you were not a hinder to their environment you were protecting their environment you were their doula okay whether they knew it or not whether you knew it or not you were their doula okay the first thing that I wish I knew was that it takes no money to start I spent all this money investing in tools investing in different pages and things like that and it really didn't take any money to start just do it and you will do well okay the second tip that I have is there is so much power in your community in your network okay everyone knows someone who had a baby you know if someone who had a baby it really is as simple as knowing someone who had a child or a stinky Mohamad child is pregnant see about having children pushing them in like a manner where it's like oh I want to become a doula I want to learn more I would love to attend your birth in a supportive fashion these are the things I could offer you would you be interested in that it's really that simple and that's where how I approach my first two births in the waiting room being forgot to call me so that she can go in and then I can go in she's already went in but to put the peeking oh she looked through your experience and actually the first birthday I attended I really didn't mean to attend but I ended up attending anyways and I use it other than learning experience and it also really excited me and got me into thinking about how can I make this career how can I do more in the birth world so there maybe even there may even be a doula group group for your state or for your community for your City on Facebook go to those coops join those groups get to know everyone because those are the people who are really active in those communities and they can let you know more and a lot of the times 70 to 80 percent of the times these people want to encourage more people to know about the birth world so they'll accept you in with open arms if you I really wanted to start and you just don't know where to start stirring on Facebook start online so our Facebook on Instagram local mom group so called pregnant support groups new boring classes things like that find those moms those are the moms who are seeking out the knowledge and information and those who are also where you'll find other doulas and that kind of leads me into my third tip which is to connect with other doulas the third thing that I wish I knew before I became a doula is how caddie who's doulas can be um I'm a very social person I like to offer my help I like to give help I like to know people and there are some duals out there who are very competitive and who are also very much wanting to dominate the field and when I say dominate the field they want all of it they want all the clients all referrals every single thing and you'll find that in your community okay you'll find it for a person or people who just are always in the mix okay and who want every client and who ought to every referral and I'm not I'm saying that I was thinking this because I want new doulas to be more cautionary when it comes to maybe joining different doula groups with organizations what do the groups that you may interview for I would say it's really important to practice solo first before you join a doula group because there are some tricky tricky people out there okay and it's important to read all your contracts all your agreements and know what your expectations of you are as a doula before you join any organization or any group okay so that would be my favorite tip that there are people out there they're duals out there and doula groups and do organizations out there that are very much not invested in your growth as a doula they're more invested in the growth of their company and so they will act in very catty professional petty ways in order to advance their group their organization and not necessarily to invest in you okay so definitely know that before him the fourth thing that I wish that I knew before I became a doula was that not every client is your client that's the truth of the matter not every person who contacts you not every person who emails you not every person that you have a consultation with is meant for you and I say this because when someone is hiring a doula it's very important that you or when someone is hiring you it's very important that you know what their expectations are that you lay out your for you what your services are it's very important that you lay out your services and what you offer and make them very very clear because there are people that are going to approach you whose expectations are not realistic to what a doula does okay we're not midwives we're not obese we're not therapists although sometimes we can act in a very therapeutic way we are not licensed therapists unless you are a licensed therapist and you that's part of your practice go it's very important we're not organizers we're not decorator is we are not mechanics were none of those things we're doulas and our work is very specific and it's important that when you meet a client that you make sure that your services what you offer the client what you are going to be doing for that client is very very clear and that nothing can be misunderstood the other thing that I mean when I say that not every client is for you is that not every birthing space is meant for you okay there are certain birthing spaces for example someone who may have a history of trauma someone who may have had a history of sexual abuse someone who may have had a miscarriage before a loss of child before is a high-risk pregnancy those are very specific and sacred spaces every birthing space is sacred let me start off by saying that but there are very special circumstances that require a very special level of understanding and a level of discernment okay and that's the best way that I can use for it because if there are ways that you will talk to a client a client who's had multiple miscarriages versus a way that you would talk to a first-time mother there for certain words and there may be a certain tone to my voice when I'm talking to a first-time mother who needs direction versus what I'm talking to a mom who's lost who's lost children and I need to be more sympathetic and I think needs to be more approachable in a lot of ways with first-time mothers with moms who are lenient and not necessarily in taking charge of their birthing experience and as a dual you want them to command the space okay and so you want to reinforce in them that they have the ability to command this space okay and that's really important there may be instances where you have a mom who I strung a mom who's hybrid square you would not necess Sara Lee this is a space all motion she's in control this is her birthday space where there may be an extra level of security going on when it comes to the hospital medical staff there may be extra alerts going on and so therefore as a duly you need to approach it differently the other thing that I mean when I say that they're not every client is for you is that not every client is going to like your personality it's going to mesh with your personality in vice-versa they're not it's not a reclined that you're going to necessarily like you're not gonna necessarily like their personality and that means that that client is not for you if you cannot sit in a room with them rest in a consultation with them go to a prenatal with them and feel like you like them as a person that isn't not a client that you need to be in their birthing space because that will come out in their birthing space and that's the last thing you want to do to someone and when I say that not every client is for you that means that there's someone else out there for them and what you can do the best thing that you can do for that person is to refer them to someone else that's the best thing that you can do and they're also being married there also may be very specific situation and circumstances that makes it so that that clients not for you meaning that their due date is not conducive to your schedule does not go with your schedule maybe you have too many clients that meant that month maybe you have a very special event that month that you cannot miss it's very important that when you're creating your schedule when you're taking on clients when you figure out your client load that you also take into consideration that you have a life like you have a personal life and not every new day is meant for you and not every person who comes to your doorstep that what's up now every person that comes to your email that not your person that inboxes you is your client and you need to be able to be clear with that person that I'm not I'm not the doula for you unfortunately but here's a list of Julis that I think are great and that I refer to and that's why it's important to build your community in a smart way okay the last thing that I wish that I knew before I became a doula is how flawed our medical healthcare I went in to do work a bit blind I can admit that now I was very bored in a lot of ways and I'm very naive in a lot of ways as well I felt as though you know I was going into the system that you know of course wasn't perfect but I could do work in like as a black woman that wouldn't affect anything as a woman that wouldn't affect anything as a black woman that wouldn't affect anything as a person with who hasn't birth to their own children that wouldn't affect anything as a person who is from a lower middle class as a child of immigrants as a person who's had certain kinds of traumas that wouldn't affect anything as a Dooley's higher experience your entire personhood comes with you when you go into someone's birthing spaces okay and I do a lot of work and I think it's important that other tools do a lot of work in trying to heal some of the issues that they might have before entering someone else's birthing spaces so that you don't bring those issues with you but it's inevitable your experiences will follow you into birth someone's birthing spaces so it's very very very very important that you are doing the work as a doula to heal yourself and to realize also that you're going into a flawed system you are not going into a perfect system now every OB that you meet is going to be you're going to be friendly now every nursing meet is going to be friendly now every midwife you meet is going to be friendly not every person or healthcare provider has your clients best interest at hand whenever they make decisions that's the truth we're coming into a system a medical healthcare system where black maternal mortality is real it's a real thing you black America at a rate of between two to three to up to five times more than their white counterparts we're coming up against a system where poverty rate educational status class Scholl social standing mental health history of trauma pre-existing conditions all these things are dictating the way that we are cared for in our health care system and so it's really important that you do the work to educate yourself and one of the things that I wish that I knew was how flawed our system was and so I could better equip myself in the first couple breaths that I attended it's easy to be our outreach right it's really easy to say this is injustice this is hard this is injustice this is wrong it's easy to say that I just said it right now it was very easy for me to say that it's harder to do the work first make it real with yourself then second go out and enact change and acts of change and to educate yourself it's harder to do that that requires more more time more effort more resource it requires more of you to say that I want to change the system it's the easier to say like oh this is flawed I'm still gonna go in it it's harder to say I'm gonna do something to change this system and so those are the five things that I wish that I knew before I became a doula I am so honored to be here with you guys to be in your living room in your car in your bedroom in your office space wherever you are listening to this I'm so honored to be here I'm so honored that you clicked on this video and you want to hear about the five things that I wish I knew before I became a doula if you have any questions comments concerns definitely leave them in the description box below hit the like button down there somewhere and definitely hit this subscribe button so you can stay up to date with all new videos and all things going on with HR the doula I started a new segment with birth stories I'm so honored and so proud that um this mom let me film her birth tonight and I had a mom before actually I'm a very first video you can see there as well I think it's natural and medicated delivery in hospital in my channel I'll link it somewhere here had another mom who let me film her birth as well and it was magical and it was a hospital setting I just had a home birth which was amazing and that mom allowed me to film as well I saw that those two videos are there I'm here thank you so much for watching [Music] this is my channel [Music]

Channel: adrianathedoula

Views: 15,257

Rating: 4.9814816 out of 5

Keywords: birth doula, birth team, birth worker, built to birth, doula, doula advice, doula training, help after birth, help during birth, how to have a positive birth, how to support women in labor, postpartum care, postpartum doula, role of a doula, tips for new doulas, what do doulas do, what do postpartum doulas do, what does a doula do, what is a doula, home birth vlog, unmedicated birth, birth vlog, doula birth, adrianathedoula, breathing in labor, contractions, painless labor

Id: LqZh4kCdAvA

Length: 18min 4sec (1084 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 01 2020