What to expect at the end of life

my name is maria and i'm a nurse at marie curie i'm going to talk about what to expect in someone's last weeks days and hours of life it can be reassuring and helpful to know what to expect there are some common signs that you might see when someone is dying not everyone has these and some people may only have one or two some of the signs are caused by the body slowing down others might be caused by illness or treatment it's important to remember that everyone is different we can't predict exactly what will happen in someone's last weeks days or hours of life in the last weeks of life some people become more weak or tired and may need to sleep more they might be less able to have conversations or seem less like their usual self many people will eat and drink less the body is slowing down and using less energy so they don't need so much food or drink some people lose weight and muscle and look thin and frail [Music] during the final weeks of simon's life he became less mobile he had problems with his knees and couldn't walk so we had to go into a hospital bed downstairs in the house during the last few weeks we noticed that her energy levels were definitely going down she was beginning to sleep a lot and i would say she began to distance herself gradually from her family and wanted a lot of quiet time by herself she certainly started sleeping very much more maybe 18 hours a day and obviously we just let that happen we didn't try and sort of force her to stay awake or anything because that was obviously what her body needed at that stage in the last days of someone's life some people feel restless or agitated and find it difficult to feel comfortable and relaxed some people may have physical symptoms like a sore or dry mouth feeling sick or experiencing pain some people might be confused or seem disorientated some may feel breathless or short of breath the breathlessness that she had was very much caused by the pneumonia and the damage to her lungs which may not be the case with every disease but certainly that breathlessness you know was something that carried on for the last fortnight one of the other symptoms of the chemotherapy was that it causes a lot of mouth ulcers so she was in some distress from that and that's why she liked all these cool smooth liquids just to help that a little bit there was what the medical people call agitation for me and my brother and my dad it was quite uncomfortable to watch because we've never seen my mum in that way doctors explained to me that that was normal for somebody who is terminally ill agitation means things like arms flailing um sometimes there's a crying noise that's that comes that was coming from mum which was very unfamiliar for us as her children so there were times that as a carer i felt that i did that i wasn't doing okay a person may lose control of their bladder or bowels as their muscles relax the skin might look slightly blue or become mottled and feel cold to touch some people have noisy breathing this can happen if mucus has built up in someone's throat or airways and they aren't able to cough or clear their airways breathing may slow down and become irregular it might stop and then start or there might be pauses or stops between breaths the person might lose consciousness but they may still have some awareness of other people in the room he didn't have any control over his bladder or his bowel so he had a catheter fitted and then he was padded for his bowels which i looked after him i washed him cared for him that way as well her breathing changed so initially her breathing was quite deep and then there's a kind of a raspiness to her breathing and it becomes a little bit more shallow we noticed that his breathing had started to rasp and his colour and his face had changed from a yellowy colour to a grey tinge towards the end simon lost consciousness day and a half and he never he never came he never came round again it was a slow um deterioration the color of her skin was very very pale and then in the final hours i noticed that her lips were becoming blue it was very peaceful it was very quiet our son and daughter were with her as i was um i think one of the cats was on her bed and she actually breathed her last in her own home which when you're looking for crumbs of comfort something that we appreciated [Music] the doctor or nurse will focus on making the person as comfortable as possible some of the signs i've talked about can be managed or treated the doctor or nurse might give the person medicines or suggest ways to help them if you do notice that your loved one is distressed confused or in pain speak to their doctor or nurse if you're with the person who's dying it might be reassuring if you sit with them speak calmly to them and hold their hand this might be a really difficult time for you you might have a lot going on and be worried about the future it's important to be kind to yourself until you actually see it and witness it and think this is it you don't you're not prepared i wish that i'd have taken some more help for people to come arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible for me it was having practical knowledge where the gp had those conversations with us where he gave us a steer on what was coming down the track looking back one of the things i realize is that i ended up getting involved in certain tasks certain feelings that that were new to me and some of them were quite challenging but i think when your motivation is to make a very bad situation as good as it can be it's amazing what you can achieve when i first knew what was going to happen you think you can't cope you think there's no way how am i going to deal with this but somewhere inside you get an inner strength and you can deal with anything it's hard it's heartbreaking and after the after the inevitable happens that's when you fall apart which is what i did but you will cope with it you will deal with it and just take help wear it where you can our free support line can also offer practical information and emotional support you can call us on oh 800 090 2

Channel: Marie Curie

Views: 1,115,360

Keywords: Marie Curie, end of life, what to expect end of life, what to expect death, terminal illness, last hours of life, last days of life, deterioration and dying phase, preparing for death, how to know someone is dying, what happens before death, death rattle, skin going cold, changes before death, changes at end of life, last weeks of life, final weeks, final days, final hours

Id: slNShkHNNpw

Length: 9min 19sec (559 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2019