What the HELL is The Dancing Pumpkin? (An UNCANNY Nightmare)

[Music] folks we made it to october and you know what that means it's officially halloween it's not even the 31st anymore all of it the entire month it's all halloween and with a year late 2020 just give me this all right it's what i need to get through as a matter of fact i think we all need it but enough about real life that stuff sucks let's talk about spoopy things the good the bad the ugly but we'll save that for later in the month for now let's hit up the first item on my halloween list the dancing pumpkin [Music] oh look it's my sleep paralysis demon how have you been [Laughter] so i was lucky enough to go my entire life up to this point of not knowing about this film but then vivian had to tell me she was the one who said hey saber check out this fever dream of a halloween movie have you heard of it and i was like no i'm too busy praying to god and then she was like okay well watch it tell me what you think and suffer along with me so hey viv thanks a lot you suck all right so what's the story behind this movie well the story here is based on a book from 1992 and it's called unsurprisingly the dancing pumpkin it's made by a guy named howard butcher i wonder if it's the butcher from the boys well well well the dancing pumpkin but here's the thing this book was not enough butcher here is like we gotta go bigger we gotta do a movie it's the year 2000 time to put my story up on the screen and it looks bad [Music] fortunately i wasn't able to actually find the film so uh that was a close one but here's where things get really wild so the film in 2000 is based on the book then 17 years later the studio called silver hammer studios sounds like a dwarven clan from d d well they got back together and they said hey let's do a remake that's what the world needs we gotta take this new technology and remake the dancing pumpkin because we can do so much better this time around let's go would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that meeting you got howard butcher sitting at a coffee table with his team going i know that the world loved my book right up there with jrr tolkien's lord of the rings no doubt and i know that my movie from 2000 was one of the greatest films of all time but it's been 17 years and you know what the human race needs right now uncanny valley pumpkin faces boom there you go also uh apparently there's a film called the cat returns this baron character screw him here's the dancing pumpkin instead he's so much better so i have no idea if the dancing pumpkin the original the book the remake i have no idea if any of them are successful or were successful where they good with critics not so much did they make money i have no idea maybe this is a passion project from butcher he is just that gung-ho about uncanny valley pumpkin faces or maybe this is a lucrative market maybe he's thinking i got a corner the halloween themed pumpkin market i guess it was ripe for the picking i want to die so the movie starts off with this goblin running down the street and then he gets tagged by a small pumpkin and then shrinks down and then the pumpkin dances right out the gate just absurdity why not we then learn that the pumpkins here protect the world from monsters monsters are trying to get out trying to take over the globe but these pumpkins have magic they can come to life and they hunt down monsters bite them and that shrinks the monsters down so they're no longer a threat they get bitten by a pumpkin they shrink to the size of a pumpkin seed then their days of scaring people are done okay gotta love me some lore and the way the movie proceeds forward i was asking myself is this a sequel there's the original film right maybe that was a prequel or or maybe that was the original story establishing the lore of the dancing pumpkin expanded universe no this is a remake you're just throwing in feet first into this world with like bam bam bam here's your information this is what's happening doesn't make sense who cares moving on i'm looking left and right like who hey what's going on who are these kids who's a small pumpkin why is he small and so fast why are the monsters evil is there a pumpkin war going on why does he have a nose and that pumpkin doesn't what's happening well the kids who by the way are so absolutely pointless some of the most bland characters i've ever met well they discover along with the dancing pumpkin who's like the main character that there's an ogre named fink grinder when i heard his name i thought they said think grinder and all i could think of was like the app for hooking up with like you know you know [Laughter] so for the rest of the movie i'm thinking the villain is the app where it's like oh no it's grinder he's trying to hook up with me gotta get out of here and by the way i am going to call the villain specifically grinder moving forward i'm pretty sure it was fink grinder but we're calling him grinder so grinder is an ogre from a house and he's got some magic and he's trying to take over the world so the pumpkin the dancing pumpkin is like we must rally our forces and go stop him so these kids jump into pumpkins called and i quote thunderbellies and it's like the most bizarre thing ever cause i'm like wait these thunder bellies they can move fast and you are essentially jumping in their bodies which are hollowed out that's creepy i'm sorry it's weird to me it's like i'd be so disturbed hopping in and then wide-eyed me coming out of the pumpkin being like what just happened um i don't know why i feel scarred now so in linkara style the the pumpkins sprint through the forest going super fast because guess what pumpkins here got special powers they are getting chased down by some witches one of the pumpkins gets captured by witches because these witches are monsters so they are fighting the pumpkins it's just a thing shut up stop asking questions i don't want your logical questions fall back in line all right i got pumpkins to watch one pumpkin carrying the kid gets captured by the witches the other pumpkin and the kid and the dancing pumpkin escape to the king of pumpkins who by the way according to this movie is older than the world itself take that science making him yet another stupid [ __ ] so these witches are like we captured the pumpkin and uh oh there's a kid in here and we'll raise the kid as a warlock and then the other witches take off and this one other witch is like i will train him but before i do i'm going to go onto the balcony and take a nap i'm not joking it's in the movie look now you need to start your warlock training first sweep the floor and clean the dishes while i take a nap on my balcony so the kid is like how do i get out of here oh thank god a talking snake called ponce de leon my my prayers have been answered and the snake is like i have an idea we'll blow up the cauldron and we'll kill the witch cause you'll fall to her death and i'll fly you down because i'm a magical flying snake which is exactly what happens then the kid and the snake and the other thunderbelly who by the way this other thunderbelly has like no character he's just a background character they run into papyrus and sands i'm not joking okay it's not them but come on it's close enough am i insulting toby fox by saying this [Music] actually here's the truth these skeletons are beyond annoying oh my god they are not funny their dialogue is so grinding yeah get it because grinder no actually it's like truly terrible i was like rolling my eyes i was like when will they shut up their dialogue is not funny it's not endearing it's not clever it is just grinding to get through there is no debate i'm the most frightening hello skeletons so the team meets up and by the way i'm a bit confused the skeletons are monsters and the pumpkins are like we're at war with the monsters but not these skeletons they're the exception so they all conveniently meet up in a forest they find grinder's house and they're like ha ha we know where grinder is we'll send in the skeletons as scouts and then we'll break into the home and stop grinder from running his app and then like the skeletons who are like don't worry we'll get in we'll challenge grinder to a scare off we'll say he's too much of a wussy and that he won't let us in because he's babying out he's afraid of how scary we are as monsters let us in or we'll tell everyone in the monster world that you're afraid of us i i the skeletons go in they help the other guys break in grinder the ogre is like one of the most boring character designs i've ever seen he's just a green guy wearing a trench coat and i'm going to save you all a lot of headache here what ultimately happens is the ogre finds the two kids the dancing pumpkin the thunder bellies constantly on the flying snake and the skeletons and they're in a room and they're like we have to use sunlight to get the ogre it will kill him by the way the kids have like these magic power rings okay i guess i can shoot the sunlight i think i think that's what we're told my brain was so numb by this point that i completely forgot so the the kids and the pumpkin are like haha uh grinder the ogre i can't get over that name we're gonna raise the blinds and use the sunlight to get you but the sunlight didn't go far enough and grinder's like oh uh that was close better sit in my chair within like five feet of the window and uh just take it easy and the kids are like psych hear the rings they can shoot sunlight boom ogre's dead and he's defeated and the skeletons i think they live at the castle and then the kids go home with the pumpkins and that's the movie it's so weird it's so weird the witches never show up again the dancing pumpkin himself really doesn't do that much it's it's all so bizarre and these characters are so poorly written and they're just annoying and empty or a combination of both i don't know if this film thought it was like here we go we're gonna become one of the main pillars of the halloween movie cycle it's gonna be the same way like charlie brown and the great pumpkin we're gonna be that plus more and did they pull that off if angel baby bought it you must have been one ugly baby i know so what are my overall thoughts about this movie the story let's talk about that this story is so confusing the way they throw you into a world with lore and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with having lore in your setting but here it's like confusing who's what now the pumpkins and the monsters and the powers and the what wait what what what it leaves you in the dust within a few minutes it's like and off we go it's like give me give me just a few more minutes guys i gotta soak this in before we go sprinting through a pumpkin's head with a forest chasing from the incredibles all right i need a moment to breathe thank you but there's no time for breathing you have to be introduced to these characters who are empty as well you've got kid one and two you got the dancing pumpkin who surprisingly wasn't that big of a deal in the movie you got flying snake you got background thunderbellies you got witches who show up and then they just disappear and then you got grinder the ogre who is just like one of the most generic basic ass villains i've ever seen i'm evil and i will use my magic to defeat the pumpkins and rule the world nothing can stop me except off-brand sans and papyrus look at the poor grumpy yogurt this loss is baby bonnet while watching this movie i actually laid my head back on the couch and i could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my brain was being numbed over and my thoughts i was falling out of consciousness i thought actually i was dying for a second that's how bad it was i even had my friend watching it with me and i snapped out of the dying process and looked at him and said this sucks doesn't it like this is hard to watch and he's like yeah it's it's pretty bad boring kid design boring skeletons ogre who's got a pretty lame ass design with his coat as well you got these uncanny valley faces i can't get over that look at these noses these faces the cheekbones why do pumpkins have cheekbones they don't got cheeks they don't got bones and by some miracle they were able to do this wrong in both ways when it comes to a simple design where it's like don't go too human with this just kind of keep it like a jaclarantin or whatever is that how you say that word a jack lorantern a jack a jack-o-lantern wow i'm having a moment right now folks you know what i'm talking about a jack laurentin what's it called i'm forgetting what it's called jack-o'-lantern whatever dancing pumpkin has a hole for a nose king rotundra and the thunderbellies and small little pumpkin guy have cheekbones and an actual human nose and human eyes and that is gross so at the end of the day we have a film here that has a bad story that's very boring and cumbersome empty characters who are annoying and cannot hold my attention and then animation that's pretty creepy now that being said i wouldn't say that this movie is all together bad i think the animation looks competent at times i don't like the designs but the animation itself some of the backgrounds competent i think this studio could have made a successful tv halloween movie it's just that the source material is not good howard butcher and his book and his writing for this script and his screenplay no good scrap it start over or overhaul it or something this is way too much of a nonsensical fever dream that is by some miracle a combination of utter confusion and absolute boredom don't know how you pulled that off it's like you were bad in two separate ways and fuse it together [Music] so overall would i recommend this movie for quality no absolutely not go watch scary godmother instead go watch the nightmare before christmas but when it comes to schlocky b-movie halloween stuff i guess you could watch the dancing pumpkin if you really hate yourself that much just don't blame me when it's three o'clock in the morning and you slowly open up your eyes and you see the thunderbelly sleep paralysis pumpkin grabbing you by the hands and shoving you into his body and then running through a forest with you rattling around in his insides the dancing pumpkin he wants to get you inside of him why did i say that all right so that's the first thing on my list what's after this oh coraline awesome wait hold on why does this say caroline what is going on caroline you're like totally freaking me out oh oh no [Music] [Music] you

Channel: undefined

Views: 682,292

Rating: 4.9684401 out of 5

Keywords: saberspark, saber, what the hell is, what the hell saberspark, review, halloween, the dancing pumpkin, uncanny valley, what the hell is the dancing pumpkin, uncanny nightmare, halloween movie

Id: zbTfdS-D98w

Length: 19min 15sec (1155 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 09 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/LegoLover2001]

That is what he gets for the doom slayer joke