What nobody tells you about living in Italy

Italy the country of Pizza Pasta and Wine a beautiful blend of quaint historical  buildings and sprawling Urban metropolises a   country that is in itself divided into two parts  North and the south each with their own very distinct   characteristics and qualities even the Italians  will tell you they're like two different countries   it can be very easy to fall  into the fairy tale of life here  the dreamy Romanticism that is often fed  to us through films books and Instagram   but what is it really like to live  in Italy particularly in South Italy   at nearly four years of living in Salerno I don't  feel like I will ever fully arrive at a definitive   answer but I think reality has touched me enough  over this time to be able to give you an idea   Italy is incredibly complicated and problematic  yet at the same time breathtakingly beautiful and simple a country that can teach us so much about  life but also itself has so much to learn   Italy isn't unique you'll find [ __ ] here excuse my French self-centered individuals and people who think you   owe them a Euro simply for the fact that they  exist there are those people who smile at your   face and tell you sweet nothings only to later  stab you in the back when you're not looking   you'll find people who can't do enough for you  and people who don't want to do anything at all   there are employers who exploit their staff  and take complete advantage of them knowing   full well that they can you'll come across  fake work contracts jobs that pay with   so-called black money and an overall attitude  that you are replaceable oh you don't like   working without a break or for pittance don't  worry there's someone else out there who will   and that sadly is the problem desperation  feeds the greed of employers and so the   cycle continues to know your worth and  to have experience is almost wasted here   romantic relationships can be just as perplexing  the fairy tale image of Italian men being romantic   in the traditional sense showering their loved  ones with roses and presents doesn't always exist   romance can take many shapes and forms even  in Italy Italian men on the most part have   a Wandering eye when it comes to women you might  be on his arm but his eyes are probably checking   out the woman passing to his left a natural  human instinct maybe but it reminds me of   the powerful Paradox in that you don't realize  what you have in life until it's actually gone   blending two very different cultures and life  experiences with an added language barrier has   been challenging to say the least for me in  terms of forming a romantic connection I have   learned so much about myself and it has provided  some of the most significant growth moments that   I have experienced here in Italy but what about  friendships and the social aspect of life aren't   Italians renowned for being Social Butterflies  chin chining the evenings away with aperol spritzes   and wine maybe if you're Italian when you move  to Italy the first thing that quickly becomes   apparent is how tight-knit friendship circles  are here and how they often stem way back to   school this isn't the norm in other countries  and honestly it can be difficult to break into   these groups and establish yourself yes you The  Outsider with no connection to Italy who even   are you friendships have been an area of my life  that have been highlighted the most since I've   been here they have ebbed and they have flowed I  remember when I had my breakdown over the winter  of 2019 in that period I realized that I didn't  actually have any real friendships here  in italy those friends who I'd  spent many an evening with eating   pizza and sharing what I thought were  special moments were markedly silent   it was then I guess that I really learned the  distinction between an acquaintance and a friend it's not easy to arrive in a country as a  complete outsider often people depend on   expat circles to provide a sense of community  and I stumbled across one too a full year and a   half after I first arrived in Salerno in fact  I've met some wonderful people in that group   of course this is life and I've also met  some people who Verge on the opposite end   of the scale too but I guess it's true  what they say everyone is our teacher   I guess you could say I haven't quite found my  tribe yet in Italy those people who I can have   deep and meaningful conversations with and who  get that life is ultimately what we make of it   what I have come to understand though is that  friendship isn't a predefined concept it's not   a one-size-fits-all package I have learned that  a connection is a connection and that's what's   important my closest friend is someone who  I have communicated daily with for the past   four years yet I only met her in person for the  first time this year that may not fit the Italian   definition of a friendship but it's more real than  any friendship I've yet to encounter here in Italy   the most humbling experience I've encountered  living here has been to do with language we   all take for granted our ability to understand  everything around us and to communicate strip   that away and it's like you become a child in  an adult's world I spent many a night out in the   company of others yet feeling like the loneliest  person in the room as I watched my personality   slowly slip away in my silence laughing at Things I didn't understand just to feel connected   always being five steps behind the conversation  because translation isn't an immediate action   realizing that even with translation the  meaning and humor of that moment can be lost   simple daily actions like going to the supermarket  or taking a train somewhere can often feel really   complicated not to mention any bureaucratic  matters that you may have to deal with   translating websites Facebook posts and the like  have become ingrained in me to the point where   during my recent trip back to London I actually  had a moment in a shop where I was desperately   trying to think of the words to say only to  realize that they actually spoke in English it   was then that I truly understood how four years of  not communicating properly have really impacted me   I could give you a number of different reasons  as to why I haven't yet fully learned Italian   Lack of time work commitments lack of lack of focus  the difficulty of the language unsuitable   materials but I know if I'm being honest  with myself that they are just excuses   I have come to understand that maybe  up until now I actually didn't have   the desire to want to learn Italian and  without the desire nothing will ever happen   but how can I not have the desire if I know just  how miserable not speaking Italian makes me feel   simply because there are so many other projects  and ideas that have captured my attention that   to learn a language just feels like time taken  away from those it feels like I need to   constantly be switched on with something to do  it feels like a long winding process and the   one thing I am guilty of is impatience yet I have  started to realize this year the power contained   in small actions I may not be able to dedicate  an hour a day to study but I can find 30 minutes   the answer isn't in buying any more  materials I actually have all that I need   I may not have a wide range of vocabulary but  I have picked up more words than I realize   I may make countless mistakes but the  important thing is that I try turns out   that language learning is yet another aspect  of life that Italy has taught me a lot about   the one constant throughout my time in  Italy has been my work teaching lights   me up to instill in another the confidence  to believe in themselves to open someone's   mind to the possibilities that await them to  assist a student in achieving an academic goal   it's a feeling I can't quite put into words it's a  common theme here in Italy for students to lack in confidence to think that they aren't good enough  and even rather shockingly for teachers to  reinforce that belief It’s also a common trait for students to  want to be perfect before they even try   perfectionism is a complete myth  we only learn from our mistakes   I guess you could say that I'm not a typical  teacher I'm not a grammar obsessive dictatorial   control freak I'm someone who will talk to  you about your dreams and goals who will have   conversations with you about deep and meaningful  topics such that you've never properly considered   before and someone who ultimately wants you  to succeed who will give every ounce of my energy   towards that it's that that drives me and it's  that has taught me the most about life here   but what about family? Family and connection hands down  on the bloodline of Italy it's not what you know   but who you know that will take you places  the strong bonds of family units here can   sometimes feel a little overwhelming particularly  if your own family Dynamic is in complete contrast my family are spread out all around the  world and our connection is at best polite   The strongest relationship I have is with my parents and late grandparents take a typical Italian family however where if  they aren't living in close proximity they are   in daily contact and you can see why you can  very quickly start to feel like an oddity this   is another moment where Italy cracked me open and  showed me that even if a family is close they can   also be a million miles away from perfect I have  now come to accept that whilst my own family will   probably never resemble that of an Italian one  they will always be my family and that is enough   it's fair to say that Italy isn't  for everyone you've only got to   scroll through the countless comments in expat groups to realize this but I wonder   sometimes if those comments are based on  unrealistic fantasies that people held   Of what they thought life in Italy would be  like Italy is not perfect far from it but   it is perfectly imperfect and I honestly  don't think I would have it any other way

Channel: Ms Britaly

Views: 166,859

Keywords: What nobody tells you about living in italy, living in italy, life in Italy, expat in italy, what is it like to live in italy, Brit in italy, ms Britaly, moving to Italy, myths of Italy, expat living in italy, what to know before moving to italy, living abroad in italy

Id: JQnD2li1AmE

Length: 10min 23sec (623 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 29 2022