What Islam Really Says About MAHR (Dowry)

foreign [Music] what I want to talk about of course I cannot cover every single aspect of it because it is a very long and detailed topic and subject and that is the topic of Mahar something that many times subhanallah you hear cases you get calls about that what is what does Islam say about it who's right is it how much should they give or not and not only that but there are some other cultural practices that many of us we may come from and that is still prevalent within our cultures and inshallah today quickly in this um I want to go through some of them first of all is what exactly is something that was established of course from the Quran when Allah revealed before Islam women did not have the right to possess their own property so Islam came and said the no let's change that from now on a woman is allowed and she is she is subjected to her own property if she has her own property no one can take that property away from her and subhanallah by the way you know this Ayah of the Quran where Allah he talks about two three and four where a man is allowed to get married to two three or four women this is not by the way a recommendation in the Quran and the only place where the Quran is mentioned in the Quran where he says this is not a general verse by the way this verse is about that long time ago when a a woman her guardian would die if so let's just say a father would die and he left behind a huge estate a real or a lot of money for his daughter what would happen in some cases is that the guardian would take over that girl and a lot of times what they would do is that when she would grow up they would have to give her her the money but in some cases what they would do is that they would marry that woman so that they they can take over her wealth so as a result Allah he says listen to this very carefully Allah says that if you fear that you will not be able to do justice when it comes to the money of an orphan girl that go and get married to a second third and fourth but don't get married to her so you can take over her possession so you can take over her wealth so what Islam basically said was that if a woman has her wealth she is entitled to her wealth and not only that but then at the time of nikah a man should give something to his wife as a gift now this is something called a Mahar and this is something that there are different types of Mahar there is one kind of Mahar which is before the Nika takes place a man has already decided that this is the amount of Mahar he will give to his wife then there's one in case the Mahar amount has not been designated prior to the nikah and the nikah took place because according to some there it is allowed out for the Nika to take place without the Mahar being stipulated up front in that case you will give the mahrul mythal what is the definition whatever is common in the society whatever is common in the family that is what you will give then there is you give it up front or the Mahana you give it later on based on the discretion of the wife there are a lot of women if they say that we want the Mahar at the time of the nikah we want to give you one uh we want to upfront you have to accept that and honor that and if they say that you can give it to us later on then it can be given later on at another time now the next thing is that how much or how much the Mahar B they say that based on the the ability of the husband it should not be Beyond his um Beyond his capacity but it should be within his capacity first of Allah he has mentioned in two different Hadith the best which is very simple and by the way subhanallah you see how extravagant people can become when it comes to Nikka I mean subhanallah you hear times where people are spending I kid you not want to say this I'm standing here inside the measure when I say this people are spending close to a million dollars subhanallah and by the way you hear these kind of stories or you hear half a million and then subhanallah one year later two years later there's a divorce that takes place in the family so that is why the prophet says explained this in a way that even when it comes to the Mahar it should be as simple as as you can keep it the prophet sallallahu also says that especially when it comes to the Mahar try to keep it simple so when it comes to an overall Nika try to keep it as simple as you can when it comes to a Mahar try to keep it as simple as you can I have conducted marriages where once again I got there to the marriage and I found out that the Maha amount by the way the Mahar amount was set up in a way where the husband had to make installments payments and installments it was 250 000 and subhanallah the lady had a full document written out and he had to sign it that by this date I'll give you this much amount of money and this day I'll give you this much amount of money and I I try to explain to them this is not right but once again she was the one who made the demand and subhanallah this man he said yes so if he said yes because there is no there is no limit when it comes to a Mahar if the man says okay he will give you this much then he given this much but once again we should not be giving this much today subhanallah in our society in our day and age five thousand ten thousand I've seen fifteen twenty thousand dollars you know it's quite common but at the same time a man needs to also understand that what is the meaning of a mahara I went somewhere to go conducted nikah one time the man came very openly he said I'll give her twenty five thousand dollars so I asked the man what is in your understanding what is a Mahar he said it's just a amount that you put on the document so I said no I said you have to give it to her because I have to give it to her I said yes you have to give it to her so he says okay give me a few minutes he went back inside he came back two thousand dollars inshallah okay so so a lot of times we don't understand these kind of things so once again you have to give something and when you when you commit to it then you have to give it to her the next thing is that the Mahar is purely her right no one in the family has a right over it no one is I mean the Mahar is all hers she no one has a right to even put their hand on it let me give you a story exactly it is a true story that happened that there was a husband and wife that got married the wise family was discussing the Mahar before the nikah took place and what happened was that they were not able to come to a conclusion in terms of the Mahar and they got married subhanallah two weeks after the Nika took place the girl's family the Bryce family comes forward and they're demanding from the groom's family that this is the Mahar that we need and they put so much pressure on the family that they began to threaten the groom's family that we would take our daughter away and we will go through a divorce if we need to because we want our Mahar so what the family did was they they stipulated their own their own amount of mahad they created their own amount of Mahar so what I did was that I sat down with the wife herself and I asked her what was decided up front and she said that there was a very small amount that was discussed and decided up front and now my family is exaggerating that amount and they're saying that because once again nothing was written and documented so when things are not documented then that is why we have issue issues that's why the Quran says even when it comes to ordain right the Quran says write out your dog write out your transaction so if there's an agreement a financial agreement it must be written down she said that it was not written down prior to the Nika that's why there's a lot of these speculations and back and forth so I I told her that it's up to you it's totally your right and she said that I don't care about the Mahar I love my husband and even if he gives it to me later on it does not matter to me and so I told her and I told her that you have a right to your Mahar and only you are the one who will collect from the husband and the husband will give it to you and your family does not have any right to it at all and subhanallah while that divorce was on while that marriage was on the brink of divorce subhanallah she understood he understood and she said that basically she told her family that you cannot interfere in in this Mahar amount it is my right and I will collect it from my husband whenever I want and she basically was alhamdulillah State she was able to stay in that Nika marriage somehow this young man he came to me just one month ago he said that from that marriage you have a beautiful young boy that marriage was able to survive because she took matters into her own hand so once again this is something that we see culturally speaking that many families they come in they take they put a huge amount of mahad on behalf of their daughter or their girl in the family and then they'd want to take all that and then they then they start arguing with these kind of things the next thing is that can the woman forfeit her Mahar the answer is yes she can forfeit the Mahar but it has to be done willingly a woman can never be coerced a woman can never be pushed into a situation where she has to Forfeit the Mahar it cannot be done with Force if she says very willingly that I forfeit the Mahar then there's nothing wrong with that that she can forfeit the Mahar the last thing quickly I wanted to cover inshallah and by the way when it comes to how much the Mahar should be this is a very by the way a very long topic a very long subject I cannot get into that right now but once again inshallah some other day we'll get into this but the last thing I want to cover is something that is very common especially within the subcontinent culture uh the in the in the Indian Pakistan Bangladeshi culture and so forth and that is that many families especially the girls families the Bryce families they're forced into giving a jazz okay you understand the concept of jehov some people can refer to it as Dowry but subhanallah the culture overseas especially in these countries what you have seen is that while the man is giving this much of a Mahar okay the Maha is like this much what they're demanding is this much in return so what they're doing is that they're telling the girl's family that you have to provide all the kitchen utensils you have to provide all the the bedroom furniture you have to provide all the living room furniture and in return what is the man giving he's only giving peanuts literally okay he's giving peanuts he's giving a small amount the point of a Mahar is that you have a girl coming into your family first of all the man is the one who is financially responsible to take care of his family but you see here what has happened is that they have taken the entire Dean and they have twisted around where instead the man giving more and the woman not having to give anything it's where now the woman has to give a whole lot more and the man is not giving anything you understand and subhanallah this is such a practice fight by the way where did this practice come from it is a Hindu concept it is a Hindu concept it does not exist in ordin in that sense where you have to give something or where the boy's family can demand something and by the way subhanallah when I've been to you know when I traveled around and so forth you come across many families and so forth I've come not across not one many many families where now today their daughters are at home because the father cannot afford to get his daughters married this is this is a an oppression that when you have boys families coming and demanding now they make this very clear he had four daughters zainab um in the case of zainab um did not give anything to them at the time of their nikah only in the case of Fatima of the Prophet gave her something very simple which means that if a family wants to give something to their daughter prior to her nikah they can give it to her and that will be her possession and her wealth and no one can touch it for example if the father decides I want to give my daughter ten thousand dollars as a gift before she gets married that's not community property that's not that does not belong to him and her it belongs only to her okay it belongs only to her now if the if the family comes forward and says you know what you're getting married you're moving away okay you know what let's just say I'm giving a random example here we're going to pay for the wash and dryer for example you know if the if the wise family says we want to pay for the washer and dryer and they do that very willingly without any kind of force from the boy from the boys family or from the groom's family there's nothing wrong with that if they if they want to come forward very willingly and give something there's nothing wrong with that but the boy's family should not be demanding this because this is nowhere in our Dean this is nowhere in our Dean where they go and they demand these kind of things because once again it puts immense amount of pressure now imagine if a father has four daughters imagine if a father has three daughters overseas and even sometimes here it happens too where they're demanding so much in return and subhanallah they have to go through their savings and drain out their savings and so forth just so that they can get their daughter married Islam came to make things simple Islam did not come to make things difficult we unfortunately in many of these cultures they have made it very difficult so once again the boys family should not be demanding and if they're demanding a whole lot first demanding anything is not right to begin with if they give willingly no problem inshallah I ask Allah to give us to stick to our Dean may Allah keep our children maintained and steadfast upon I mean foreign TV app the ultimate destination to learn about Islam with hundreds of educational videos lessons 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Channel: One Islam Productions

Views: 16,057

Keywords: islamic lectures, muslim, muhammad, Allah, god, abu bakr zoud, nouman ali khan, eman, patience, marriage, divorce, depression, hellfire, jannah, makkah, dua, salah, sin, fasting, muslim lecture, 1 islam productions, sadness, Quran, Merciful Servant, Islamic Lectures, Ramadan, Mufti Menk, Nouman Ali Khan, Muslim videos, Lectures Islam, Ramadan videos, Khalid Yasin, One message foundation, Shaykh Uthman Ibn Farooq, omar suleiman, Bilal Assad, Mohammad Hoblos, Hoblos, emotional islamic lectures

Id: A3Sq3EqZAj0

Length: 15min 55sec (955 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 03 2023