What Is Your "Stupid Kid" Story?

give me your best stupid kid story when I was six or seven the older kid from next door brought out a bunch of jalapenos me being new to the kind of thing immediately believed him when he told me there were special pickles so I stuffed one in my mouth and started chewing because who doesn't love pickles when you were seven my mom found me outside about a minute later crying and spraying my face with the hose good times there used to be battery-operated lint removers that were basically a metal fan with sharp blades covered by a metal plate with holes in it the holes allowed the lint balls on your sweater to be pushed into the blades where they would be sheared off the beauty of this device was you could push it on your skin and nothing would happen pushing your tongue onto it were a different story I was too embarrassed to say what really happened so I said I bit my tongue come a wife a different story my god I cannot stop laughing at this when I was very young like in second grade we were reading the classic when you give a mouse a cookie at the end of the book our teacher handed out tiny little cookie stickers about the size of a dime but now being the attention-seeking little kid I was I crumpled it up into a ball and put it in my ear to show my friends after showing them attempted to take it out but my pudgy little fingers only managed to shove it farther back into my ear I started to panic because I couldn't get it out I didn't want to tell my teacher because I thought she would be mad so I spent an entire school day with a sticker up my ear when I got home I was scared to tell my parents because I thought I would get in trouble so later on I snuck upstairs and grabbed my mom's tweezers I was trying to dig around in my ear and once again managed to shove it farther in now you couldn't even see it in a mirror abandoning the tweezers I eventually forgot about it four years later I had completely forgot about what happened one day my ear was in a lot of pain for about a week eventually my parents decided to bring me to a doctor because they thought I had an ear infection now I forget what the doctor did but eventually he decided there was something blocking my air passage they had to do a small operation and just use some bendy tweezer thing to pull out whatever it was after a lot of pain he pulled out a pain ishbal covered in earwax I was like WTF then hyung crumbled it and I realized it was a cookie sticker everything came rushing back to me the doctor and my mom were asking questions about how it got there and I just completely poker-faced and said I had no idea I haven't told anyone that story ever and I have no idea why when I was a kid I saw those commercials for feed the children that said for pennies a day you can feed a child I figured pennies a day meant three cents and collected 10 dollars and 98 cents in change put it in an envelope and mailed it to feed the children I thought I had helped one child for a whole year and added an extra three cents because it was a leap year I never heard back I told my parents to keep a lookout for any pictures of a starving kid I was supposed to hear back from in the mail and when I never did I figured the kid couldn't write that's one of the sweetest things I have ever heard when I was a little kid four or five I was following my mother in a grocery store just like the cartoons movies I decided to pull the corner watermelon from the well stacked display pyramid of watermelons needless to say about 25 of them tumbled off the display table and split open on the ground I really would like to see a video of this happening but has to be by accident when I was a kid five or six I sneaked a swig of my dad's can of beer I except it wasn't beer he had finished it already and was using it as an ashtray so instead I got hot cigarette ash pouring down my throat needless to say I didn't understand what was so appealing about B and to adults for a few more years I did the same thing except my dad's chews tobacco dranked me a Knopf spit I tried to sharpen the head of a grasshopper in my pencil sharpener I thought he'd come out with a pointy head he didn't r.i.p hoppy when I was about five or six my older brother by two years tried convincing me that issues were strong enough to bend a nail so he stepped on a nail it didn't Bend it went through his foot stupid kid when I was about five I hadn't Hulk branded flip-flops I became convinced that they were just as invulnerable as the Hulk and went Hulk stomp on a pile of old boards with an upturned nail a nail went trade through the flip-flops and into my foot screaming for my mom tetanus shot the works having constantly heard how dangerous cars are all my life I realized I had never actually seen anyone be hurt by a car in any way this led my five-year-old self to believe that cars were in fact completely harmless and everyone else is a stupid head I tested this theory by running onto a very busy road and standing in front of an oncoming vehicle I remember seeing the drivers face melt into one off sheer terror upon seeing me as the poor guy swerved directly through a fence into someone's yard and crashed into their living room I decided I would not run this experiment a second time seeing how far a bicycle will coast on its own down a hill first few times it fell over immediately unfortunately the idiot in me forgot where the hill ended it rolled into someone's yard hits a little hill flew through the air and smashed through a window into a garage this in turn hit a shelf with a few unsealed cans of paint and that of course sighting Murphy's Law covered the whole entire garage floor in paint that would have been acceptable except for there was an open convertible in the way later I found out it was a classic and our family was sued for damages we lost the classic convertible was a 69 Mustang I still haven't forgiven myself to this day but well a repaint and a new interior isn't too bad where it hurt was the canned denting the body work I'm not sure the actual amounted added up to but it was a pretty penny in the several thousands at the very least I stuck gum in my eye to impress a girl needless to say she wasn't impressed and I got to spend half a day getting my eye cleaned she wasn't the one I know this young kid who was convinced too thickly coat all of his hair with roofing tar it was the country illegally tar that is used for sealing holes in roofs loaded with kerosene and pitch-black and all the kid was somehow convinced it could be washed out with plain water he gets a flat piece off stick and really smears on a thick coat so thick it looks like some kind of heavy helmet well when I arrived home and my parents looked at me they completely freaked out and proceeded to wash my hair with anything reasonably safe even tried Jays fluid for a bit having no luck with everything I was subjected repeatedly to a thorough kerosene shampoo now anyone who knows tar also knows it leaves behind a wickedly black stain on one skin realizing they just couldn't get it all out they dragged me to a barber who proceeded to remove as much hair as he could with scissors then a pair of electric clippers which he had to rinse in kerosene regularly to keep the blades moving then a complete head shave the stain well that just wouldn't come out right away so I was sent home with this incredible dark brown skin tone which matched my hairline perfectly I was like this for more than a week and as my hair grew back it had a strange hue to it for a while to my normal hair color was blonde TLDR hard not feathered crown of brown was young and foolish I like that your story starts as I knew this kid he and admits a paragraph later that it was you I saw all kinds of stupid kid things while camping with Boy Scouts one time I saw a kid try to cut down a tree with a hammer he actually got about halfway through I also saw a kid forget to drain grease from his griddle after cooking large amounts of bacon then leave it over a list of unattended causing a grease fire he responded by knocking the whole stove over propane tank and all good thing it had just rained fied got two stories happened very recently first was a kid who found his dad's nail gun and was mucking about with it as kids would do he and his friends were reclining on a sofa on the back porch with their feet up shooting at cans of coke some distance away then a large flower lands near his feet and he decides to egged on by his friends shoot it suffice to say he shot a nail straight through his great toe and pinned it against the railing on his veranda his friends somehow managed to free him and he presented to the IDI Department where I work in a lot of pain ii was a 12 year old girl who wanted to get a belly piercing obviously mom said no so she reads up some stuff on the internet sterilizes her belly button with some mouthwash gets herself official can pisses herself only problem was the fish hook was Barb's kids do stupid things but adults do worse till some people say great so instead of big toe stupid kids the worst one I heard was secondhand from my sister regarding the younger brother of her friend these kids were about 14 mucking about and they found a hedgehog one of them decides the most hilarious course of action would be to throw it at his friend's face prickles went straight into this kids eye and he has one eye now idiot the one who threw obviously experiencing serious secondhand pain right now those kids at arcades who pretend they're playing a game when they're not they get really into it too with the sound effects and all more into it than people who are actually playing the game it's awkward when some kid is pretending to play a game that you're actually trying to play but you don't know if you should wait for him to end his pretend game one time I was at an arcade and a several kids started watching me play my dad saw this and thought I was just pretending to play preventing all the other kids from playing he ripped me away from the machine and some other kids started playing on my quarter he later claimed he didn't realize that when it said insert coin it was for another player my stupid kid is me my neighbor and I used to think it was hilarious to roll eggs in the street hide behind her mom's pampas grass and watch unsuspecting cars run over them one day while grabbing more eggs from the fridge my dad caught me and for some reason I told him what we were doing he screamed at me and made me put them back I put them back but I already had a couple in my pockets that I kept I ran straight back down to my friends house with the goods we rolled our egg and giggling behind her pampas grass but this time the car stopped the door flew open and I saw my dad's angry red face get in this frickin car now he whipped my but also he must really love eggs this is a story from way back when my friends and I were just 12 years old there was this huge wasps nest outside my house that we used to pass on our way into town one day we were passing it and I heard this huge shout whi we're where we are I look back and saw my friend Dan had just thrown a massive rock directly into the wasps nest a swarm visibly emerged from the hive and started surrounding him the rest of us of course ran with him in the angered swarm essentially chasing us every time I looked back he was flailing off another item of his clothing as the wasps were getting and under all of it once we had reached a safe distance from him I looked back to see him only in his underwear then he shouted how the Frick did they get in there and started beating his own Crouch incessantly trying to kill off the wasps that have penetrated his nether regions I was convulsing with laughter he ended up with an insane amount of stings and whenever we asked him why he did it he just replied I really hate wasps TL DR when my friend was 12 he threw through a large rock into a hive angered the swarm and ended up having to strip down to get rid of all the wasps under his clothing I thought your friend was stupid until he said he hated wasps I totally agree with him it was worth it my younger brother was seven years old at the time and I was stuck with him at the mall we were at the music store and I was looking at the cassette singles on the wall circa 1989 to 1990 ish and he was trying to show off how long he could hold his breath he kept tugging my arm in his showoff attempts but I kept ignoring him over and over again finally he collapses into the wall of cassettes knocking almost all of em off the wall though he's passed out the floor I'm embarrassed because I'm 12 years old so I'm dragging his body out of the store while all the adults look at me like I'm a horrible person I never asked if he was okay verbally assailed him for being stupid as I'm trying to revive him this is a horrible horrible story and I apologized to an entire race for it well I grew up in a pretty small rural town in Canada and unlike it is now they were very very few people of color when I was in kindergarten some 23 years ago we had a black child join our class and I guess for most of us it was one of our first experiences with someone of another race a group of kids thought it would be fun to take the chalk box full of white chalk dust from the board and pour it on him I was not involved but I remember laughing as the kids were smearing it on him I don't remember seeing him after that I only remembered this incident a couple years ago and I just feel really really bad about it I hope the kid grew up okay and it didn't mess him up stupid adults I just learned from my spell checker that I've been spelling kindergarten wrong my whole life when I was young probably between two four years old I would openly and verbally point out black people I have a vivid memory of being in the grocery store checkout line and pointing out to my mom the man ahead of us with a big smile on my face and saying that man is black at the time I was totally oblivious as to why this may not be socially acceptable when I was two or something I thought that soil was chocolate so I proceeded to eat lots of it apparently I had all sorts of things crawling out of my mouth a few years ago when I was 15 or 16 I was mixing sugar and potassium nitrate over a gas cooker outside but the mix got too hot boom it set my hair on fire and nearly blinded me as well as making my entire face look like a beetroot I have a lot of Lego the min storms stuff all the extras and whatnot one day I decided to take a few motors and step them all down so I had Frick loads of torque and very low speed I stuck my finger in between the two slowest gears it pretty much ripped a whole bunch of flesh very gradually out of my finger because the power pack was within the box containing all the gears it was very hard to get it to stop I tried to remove the whether soldiering I had once I had a big length of thick rope in the garden so I attached a few weights to it and threw it around the branch or the really tall tree but I proceeded to pull myself up something like 10 meters from the ground which is heck of a freaking height when you're 10 or so once I got to the top I dissipates that were thrown around the branch the rope fell I had no way of getting down I sat up in that tree for a good hour or so before my mom eventually found me and brought a ladder I've done way more stupid things I'll say if I remember any of it oh here's another good one I was at my ex grandparents house some years ago when I discovered a BB gun I shot myself point-blank in the leg with it to see if it hurt it frickin hurt my dad told me when I was three years old he told me not to poop my pants so one day I was playing outside and I just pinched a loaf right in the driveway henceforth I shall refer to pinching a loaf in in the driveway as punching trees I used to work at a daycare during church hours and there was a two-year-old who's coping mechanism was to reach down shirts and grope her breasts no joke it was comforting to him whenever a new situation came up well eventually he decided I was his favorite more that the other helpers started handing him off to me regularly so I got groped quite a bit after a while I didn't think anything of it though it was always a surprise come winter I wore a turtleneck to work one day all was well until we went to a different classroom for music time upset by this change he demanded to be picked up and I obliged he promptly sent about trying to plunge his hand down my shirt for some sweet comforting boobies only to be denied by the turtleneck a cue the most explosive tantrum I have ever seen a two-year-old throw I'm not saying he was a stupid kid percent just that it was one of the dumbest situations I've ever been in and one that was hilarious to explain to the other helpers I saw a kid at a bus stop have a total meltdown because his mom wouldn't let him eat cigarette butts off the ground I don't think that's a very rare occur poor mom I work at a Children's Hospital on an epilepsy Monitoring Unit believe it or not we have quite a few kids that come in and fake seizures we hook them up to an electroencephalogram by placing electrodes on the clients entire upper head phorid skull cap temporal lobes etc from there we can read their brainwaves and watch them and vary greetings from a control room the computers allow the nurses and technicians to identify kids who have seizures we had a young girl come in one day who was 15 she seemed very normal built 15 minutes into the initial nurse to client interview she snapped into an alternate person after asking initial questions we found that this family's grandmother is a witch and has possessed this young girl she began speaking in Spanish very fluently as her deceased dad of six years ago she was extremely convincing her family began asking for holy water as if we just keep this lying around the family truly believed this girl was being possessed by the dead they began asking the jigged questions as if she was a fortune-teller they asked how much money will we win tonight if we go to the casino she had answers but after they asked questions about whether her parents used a condom when she was conceived things got awkward for her she had another episode of her father speaking through her in Spanish then slipped into a seizure quickly afterwards she shook her upper body violently shoulders moving and all usually when shoulders are moving it's a sure sign of the fake her eyes rolled back into her head and these seizures looked pretty legit hurried told a different story when a client is seizing their iegs spikes erratically and is very different from the normal looking reading it is at this point the nurse I worked with rushed into the room to administer a sternal rub these are like crap tried apply pressure on your sternum with a fist and pointer and thumb being the point of pressure if a client is actually seizing with most seizures they won't be able to feel the pain this girl's face turned poor quick and she immediately stopped fake stupid kid we never found out why she did what she did but figured that her family encouraged it for whatever season or she could have wanted attention I got excited thinking I was seeing an actual possessed girl but she was a fraud she thought twice about fake seizing and we didn't see another seizure and Rauh care a TL DR stupid kid gets caught fake seizing stupid kid gets a hard sternal rub to provide evidence of a true seizure not even a kid an army recruit my dad was a teacher in the Army on some kind of exercise camping like the army likes to do boiling eggs on a portable stove he asks some recruit to get the eggs out of the water because they are done the guy attempts to do it with his hand he obviously was not aware how hot water needs to be to cook stuff a guy I live with is in the Army last Christmas we did Secret Santa and he had to buy a present for me whilst another girl in the house had to buy a present for him Christmas comes and he gives her a present because she had bought him one his words he didn't understand the concept of Secret Santa I never got a present from him I once saw a kid in a public bathroom who wanted to make the automatic toilet flush he waved around in front of it and the toilet didn't flush so he posed as you would normally stand if you were urinating to fake it out the toilet must know that trick because it still didn't flush it was hilarious to witness I also had a kid pee on my shoes once while I was taking a poo somehow he sprayed Pease sideways from the adjoining stool I was cleaning off my shoes when the father came out of the stall with his kid he was very apologetic I told him I got kids it's cool I'm just trying to figure out how he did that the physics of standing up and pee under a wall defy science now you're thinking with portals not exactly a little kid but one of the college kids volunteering at a lab I worked and said you could set your finger on fire and it doesn't hurt it he of course meant to put alcohol on your finger and set it alight sort of not a trick that I haven't seen all done myself before he is talking to one of the other students and I was going about my business I look over to see he has coated his hands with alcohol and is reaching for the Bunsen burner I yell but I'm too late the flame has spread to his hands and he is standing there smiling doing his best human torch impression until his smile changes hey this is starting to burn hey get it off get it off and he runs around the room shaking his hands and of course shooting alcohol everywhere burning alcohol it is on his shirt it is on the counter on the floor he is lucky he didn't get any in his hair it all burns out pretty quickly and I had him run his hands under warm water for a while there weren't any serious burns that he needed real first-aid for but Jesus what a fricking idiot I can't believe he was a biochem major another instance involved a kid at the gym there was a hamstrung machine there where you would stand in the bar was behind your ankle you would raise your one leg bending as the knee to lift the bar then you do the other leg thus [ __ ] tries both legs at the same time and is it about eight times before he realizes that something isn't right so that he can't hold on to the handles anymore it wasn't as funny as the fire thing but at least the kid was more of a kid and not an ironic 20 year old this happened to a friend of mine yet that'll do nicely he was told to take a bath in that he has to wash everything to which he responded everything even those things that helped me breathe his mother asked him which things he was talking about he pointed to his crotch saying these things down here because once I squeezed one once and I couldn't breathe upon being told this story he didn't remember the bath conversation but he does remember giving his boys a squeeze this is the best one by far if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Keywords: stupid kid, stupid kid test answer, stupid, stupidest, stupid kids compilation, childhood memories, most stupid kids, remember, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: -w5C1Pl1Mn0

Length: 24min 16sec (1456 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 02 2020