asdfmovie! It's a thing. It's popular.
12 episodes, 5 songs, 1 gold record, 1 book, 1 card game (out now),
1 billion collective views, and 1 question:
Why? ... How? ... What? brian david gilbert (off screen):
That's actually three questions. [bang] ow! Hey you! My name is
Thomas 'TomSka' Ridgewell' and in 2008 i created asdfmovie. A
fast-paced, minimalistic, animated sketch show which will soon see its 13th
episode. Now, I don't know about you but I don't really get it... How did a
derivative, lol-random humour webtoon - which by all accounts should have passed
its cultural sell-by date in the mid-noughties - stand the test of time
and keep me observably well-fed into this most cursed decade?
Today I'm going to determine exactly
what makes asdfmovie work. What's inside of them, what makes them tick, what
people like about them, what the best jokes are,
and what the worst jokes are; and when that is all done... I'm going to
create the perfect asdfmovie joke. [bouncy theme music] This is a stupid idea. Why am i doing this? I dunno! Something to do.
Can't go outside! [laughs] Now, to make sense of asdfmovie I-
Aah! Wait! I'm you from the future!
The future? Oh! How does 2020 end? It doesn't. Yeah, that scans. But that's
not important right now! What matters is that i come from a future...
A future that's terrible for one simple reason... Because you didn't promote Raid
Shadow Legends in this video! ... The mobile game? [slap] Ah! You can
also play it on desktop you ignorant fool. Okay. Ow. But I don't know anything about
Raid Shadow Legends! It's a turn-based battle MMORPG where you collect and
upgrade champions and battle them. It's extremely popular! Sounds kind of stupid.
[slap] Aah! Well, it's not! There's hundreds of champions, each with
their own unique skill trees and millions of artefacts to find.
What does an artefact do? Also they just rebalanced the PVP to make
it more competitive and they introduced The Forge so you can save time on
crafting artefacts! I don't even know what an artefact does... Well, you'll at
least appreciate the graphics and the fact that you can play it in short or
long bursts making it perfect for pooping time. How do you know what part
I like? I've never even played this game! [slap] Ah! Because you will! As if you
sign up today you'll get 50,000 silver, 50 gems, 1 energy refill, 1 clan boss key,
5 mystery shards, 12 bleeple bloops, a 1 day XP booster, and a free champion:
The Executioner! You definitely made one of those up.
[slap] Uh- How dare you! It's true, I made up the bleeple bloops. Alright, so, where do I play it?
Oh, that part's easy! Just click the link in the description.
But what if I'm in French? Tu trouveras le lien dans la description. And if I'm German?
Klicke den link in der beschreibung. Wait. I never asked asked. What happens
if I don't promote Raid Shadow Legends? Oh, your butt falls off. Oh no! Mien butt! Klicke den link in der
beschreibung now to play Raid Shadow Legends. And you can find all your treasure here. [pop] It's back! You did it, me!
[heroic celebratory music] [slap] AH! Anyway. To make sense of asdfmovie
I'm first going to need to break it down into its bare essentials.
Its comedic composition. Its... Secret sauce. Between the 12 episodes,
3 deleted scenes, 1 sponsored video, and 1... Skyrim parody?
There have been 226 sketches in the asdfmovie series thus far
and because I hate fun, I've compiled them into one
gigantic spreadsheet! This is observably a cry for help, right?
Like, this isn't normal. Now! Those 226 sketches all follow
one simple comedic principle: The subversion of expectations.
In short, surprise the audience with an unexpected outback
steakhouse! "Outback Steakhouse: Aah, get ya steak here!" You think he's gonna fall down?
Up he goes! You think being stabbed is bad?
Not this time! You think butterflies are harmless?
This one'll bang your wife. True story. Don't want to talk about it. But to truly understand why these
subversions are funny, I need to dig a little deeper. "But Tom", you ask, "surely
you wouldn't be crazy enough to try and break down the undefinable
subjective makeup of comedy?" Yes i am! We don't have a second camera?
We don't have a second camera. But yes I am. First, we have a "true random", where the
punchline is completely untethered to the setup; where nothing in the build-up
leads to the outcome. Hey, cool hat! Then there's "literal outcomes" because
when you're expecting the unexpected sometimes getting exactly what's
promised is its own surprise. I'm feeling carsick [vomit]
There's "wordplay" because certain words and phrases can mean multiple things.
Jimmy! Take out the dog. Yes, mother. [bang] [woof]
... For a walk, Jimmy. "Dark turns"! What a wholesome
and harmless situation... Sure would be a shame if something bad
were to happen to it. Got your nose! [laughter] Look out, he's got a nose!
[gunshots] "Violence is funny"... It is. [child laughing]
[car horn + impact] "Parody". Self-contained jokes are
great but sometimes it's nice to fall back on a well-established,
worldwide trope that it's safe to assume the audience
already knows. Knock knock! Who's there? [wham] The door! "Sequels
and callbacks". Recurrences of characters or setups that have appeared earlier in the
asdfmovie series itself. Phone voice: I like trains. [train horn]
"Funny visuals"! Where the animation or the weird visuals themselves are an integral
part of the joke. Raaaainbows!! "Funny voices" for intentionally over-the-
top or ill-fitting performances. But mother, I love him!
"Thing talking that shouldn't talk". Because that thing shouldn't talk!
I used to be a cow... And finally, "Anti-climaxes and
awkward pauses" because sometimes the absence of wackiness is wacky in and of itself. Hm. Throughout the series, every single one of the 226 sketches uses at least one
- but more often multiple - of these comedic devices... Except
for two. One which is a pure subversion of expectation, and another which
is a nonsensical paradox. But while this tells us what
types of jokes are in the asdfmovie series it doesn't tell us what's
actually in those jokes. So what are some common occurrences
or themes in the asdfmovie series? What's that, Mr Gun? You want to see what's
inside my ear? Okay! Gun: It's beautiful! Death can be abrupt, shocking, chaotic,
unexpected, and therefore shares a lot of its genetic makeup with comedy.
Or maybe i just need to see a therapist... But before we can ascertain
exactly how significant the untimely and abrupt demise of a character is to the
asdfmovie series, we must first define death! For a character to die in asdfmovie,
they must transition from an inarguable state of being alive
to one of certain death. Hit by a train? Dead. Shot in the face? Dead.
Blown to smithereens? Neck snapped? Decapitated? Dead, dead, and dead!
However, consumed whole? Not dead. As we have seen over and over in
the asdfmovie series characters can fully consume one another only to regurgitate them an entire
episode later unharmed in what can only be described
as an inadvertent introduction to vore but
we'll get back to that later. I don't- I'm not ready for that conversation. If all
else fails though, just look to the eyes and the universal language of cartoons:
X means dead. However, for this data to really reveal something the circumstance
of a character's death is just as significant as its cause so
we've got "Accidental deaths"! An act of god is a
viable synonym for a freak accident and in case you're wondering... Yes.
In the asdfmovie universe, I am god. [angelic choir] Yaaay! [splat] We've got "murder"! The premeditated,
intentional killing of one character by another. How do we know it's
premeditated? [gunshot] Look into those beady little soulless eyes and tell me they're
not planning a murder at any given time... There's "suicide". The voluntary,
premature termination of one's own life. Does a character
knowingly carry out an action that gets them killed if so we've got a suicide! [gunshot]
However, what if they merely express a desire or an intent to kill themselves
but never actually carry the act out? Well, if that's the case, we'll just bump
it to our fourth and final category of death... "Suicidal intent".
But I wanna die! Ha ha ha! Cartoons. With those terms defined, let's
take a look at our 226 sketches and see what falls where.
Tree powers, activate! Is he still alive when he turns into a tree? Well according
to Debbie S. Miller's 2002 thesis: Are Tree's Alive..... Yes.
I like trains... [train horn] Maybe after the first time one could
believe that the "I Like Trains" kid had no idea a train would hit him but the
second time...? [train horn] Now That's What I Call Suicide! Piano! [bang + scream] Suicide?
Murder? No. I did this. Me! God. Nooo! I like trains.
Oh no- no- wait! [train horn] Something has changed... He's learned to
control his powers. He even smiles! This is murder. Quick, shoot me in the
face! [gunshot] Euthanasia: a mercy kill at the request of the victim
but unfortunately not protected by the law. A suicide... But also a murder.
[click] Oh. [boom] "Oh", he says? An accident, surely. Not planned...
Not planned by him at least... [boing]
[boom] My god! An intentional self-detonation! A
murder/suicide. This changes everything! [crash]
[llama bleating] Wait, did he want the man to step on him
or merely want him to stop? Did he know the car would land there?
Does Mine Turtle know my intentions? Does he know
the will of God?! [nom] She is merely held within the cheeks.
No bite has been taken. She lives! [gunshot] Man, I suck at this game!
An accident? Grow up! A murder. [plane engine getting closer]
[crash] He is reborn and his powers have grown!
He craves chaos and mass death! [beep] Okay! Now jump! Encouraging
suicide... But is it murder? Well according to the cases Commonwealth
versus Michelle Carter and R v Morant... Yes. [laughter + impact]
An accident? The coroners would certainly say so... but that ball knows what he did!
Save me, Super Guy! No. You're a diiiii- He could have helped... But he didn't...
Is that murder? [click] Hey, legal eagles! It's time to think like
a lawyer. Today, I want to cover a situation that we all find ourselves in
all the time when: you come upon a person who's hanging off of a ledge, and you're
a superhero, if that person falls it's not considered
murder. Generally we don't owe a duty of care to random strangers. Now,
unless the superhero created that situation; he or she doesn't have a duty
to save that person. Superheroes don't owe you anything.
Be sure to like and subscribe! Smash that like button- [click]
Well, laws are always good and just. I mean,
why else would they be laws? Hoo! So! What tasty data have we dug up?
Well, we have 26 skits featuring accidental deaths, 41
with murders, 18 with suicides, and 12 with suicidal intent...
With a total body count of... Uh... Inner monologue: Okay so judging by the number
of windows there's probably about 28 seats in there... so that's 2 cabin crew, 2 pilots...
So that's 32 in total. 34 dead. Well if the tree is
alive then he's not dead... Okay, the minimum crew number for a
ship that size is probably 1, 2 3, 4... Okay, 4. So 5 total. 131 deaths!
meaning that a character dies roughly every 1.7 sketches. Which, according to
the Geneva Convention, makes me a war criminal... Oh...
Of course, death isn't the only misfortune to befall
our beady-eyed protagonist so... Let's punch in some punches! [punch]
Aw, what the hell is wrong with you? And also kicks... And mutilations...
I really gotta to see a therapist... There's "fatal injuries and
impending demise" for when a character doesn't explicitly die in the sketch but
c'mon... C'mooon! Oh you stole my lungs! There's "non-fatal injuries" because
"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a lie! It's- That's not true.
[splat] You lied to me! There's "violence against or by children"
because the corruption of innocence is tight! Hehehe I'm gonna getcha! "Explosions!"
[boom] And the "use of weapons"
but what exactly is a weapon? When is a kitten not a kitten? When it's being weaponised against a
deadly allergy! As we've established the "I Like Trains" kid's first murder...
I wanna be a pie! Billy, no! What killed Billy? Was it the oven? Was it
the pie-ification? We'll never know... Cheese? Weapon. Muffins weapon.
Aeroplane? Weapon. Envelope? Ah, why not? What does this leave us with?
81 imminent deaths, 35 non-fatal injuries 30 instances of child violence,
12 explosions, 45 uses of a weapon, and my absolute assurance the little girl who gets kicked to the moon
does not die up there because after all Desmond survived... And who do
you think ate him?! [dramatic music] Now, murder is great-
[motivational music] but what about all the other things that
we often see and hear in asdfmovie? The types of characters or creative decisions
that happen over and over again and kind of make up the audiovisual
language of the series? I don't wanna put as much effort into
this bit so i'm just going to kind of rush through it- Weeeee!!!! We got music! Electric guitar? Music.
Train horn? Not music. Slide whistle? Music! Slamming into a piano? Not music.
Trumpet doot? Music! Big fart? Not music... Well that's 52 pieces of music but
what about celebrity cameos where I brought in another YouTuber -
quite frankly - because I know that they're gonna help the views and make
the video better... Markiplier, Jacksfilms, Jaiden Animations, TheOdd1stOut, Jacksepticeye, Arin
Hanson, Kylie Minogue, Dan & Phil, Vsauce! Oh god, I've just dropped all
these names everywhere but all in all there's 54 instances of celebrity cameos
but what about uses of colour? Blood? That's colour! Rainbows? That's colours!
Pink rainbows? That's pink colours! Skin tones? That's people colours!
Greyscale? That's not a colour. Grow up! That's 36 uses of colour!
But what about the word "hey"? Hey (x48) That's 48 heys! But what about babies?!
What's a baby? It's someone that's been born that isn't toddling yet?
How many of those we got? Daddy! Those aren't babies,
those are cakes! [baby cry]
Baby heard, but baby not seen. No baby! [squelch]
Yaaay! Babies can't walk but this one's
technically not, walking he's just flailing in a direction! You can have it.
This one's a baby but it's also food. Ay baby, you lookin' fine!
Ay thanks, Jerry! You too. Okay now we're pushing it.
That's 12 babies but what about animals which,
for the sake of this, will just be any organic non-human creature.
Yeah, sure, that's an animal! Have you seen my pony? Pony mentioned but not seen.
No animal! Me neither. Duck faces but not actual ducks. I used to be a cow!
He was a cow but now he's a food. [nom] Bees are animals.
I'm on my way to eat your skin! Talking plants are also animals!
Nothing matters! 41 animals "but what about food?" you didn't ask!
Is milk food? No, it's a sauce! Marmite am food.
Gun? No! Cake! Oom. Is he food? No, he's vore! This is also
vore. And this is reverse vore! Okay, look. What is vore according to this article
by Ana Valens it is a fantasy - often sexual - that involves a person or a
creature orally consuming another. Usually not eating them just...
Poppin' em inside. And there are a few examples
of this in the asdfmovie series... [cats meowing]
Those cats got vored. You wanna eat me? He wants to get vored so hard.
That's some hat vore! I like trains! All avored (aboard) the choo-choo train [laughs].
I guess she couldn't avored (afford) to pay for her meal! Have you seen my lemons? I mean,
come on... What have I done... With asdf characters seemingly being
able to consume and expel an infinite amount of mass,
the series seems to be a pretty prime candidate for vore and while I was not
aware of this - not intending to depict it to the masses - it
still seemingly has happened and if I've been
inadvertently preaching the Gospel of Vore, I wondered what other kinks i could
have been unknowingly championing so i reached out
to Ana Valens the author - or vorethor - of that article from earlier and
asked if she could scan through those 226 sketches and see
if there are any other explicit kinks or just kink fuel that one could gleam
from the series so what do we have here "Unbirth"... "Cuckholding"...
"Inflation"... "Macro crush"- Oh my god, this is just asdfmovie12! What
about the whole series?? 78 sketches?! That's over a third of them! Oh my god,
what have I done? Who's letting their kids watch this stuff?!
Lastly i was curious about the emotions expressed by the characters
in the series after reading a whole bunch of books i was able to ascertain
that there are 6 key emotions: Anger, fear, surprise, disgust,
joy, and sadness. And while some Google results- I mean books- Disagree on
this these are 6 I went in search of. You're fat! Body positivity is important. Hm. He
didn't know what to expect but he was disappointed nonetheless.
Who parked their car on my sandwich? I sure hate it when this
relatable thing happens! [splat] I am a stegosaurus! Only a
single frame, but there it is. Hey, I'm not like other girls. Ooh, an
internalised contempt for other women? I have brain damage! This little guy doesn't
know what's going on at any given moment. and these two sketches somehow feature
no emotion whatsoever... Just like my ex-wife [studio laughter]
And with that I learned that joy was the most commonly
expressed emotion in the asdfmovie series. Followed by surprise, then anger,
then fear, then sadness, then disgust. All that thought of feelings got me wondering "how do I feel?" so i added
one final column to the spreadsheet which was to
ascertain how i actually felt about every single one of the 226 sketches.
Was i proud of it? Was I ashamed of it? Or did I feel extremely neutral towards it?
And... turns out I'm just nowhere near as joyful as the characters in the series.
So! The spreadsheet was complete. 226 sketches. 40 columns of attributes,
9040 yes or no data points. The whole series laid bare.
I now know that the average asdfmovie sketch is 5.2 seconds long
and features 2 characters, the further we get into the series "fear", "food",
"violence", and "random outcomes" are on the decline whereas "wordplay",
"parodies", and "literal outcomes" are on the rise... As are babies, for some reason...
I guess I'm broody now? Ooh baby, I love you, baby! But all this could do so far was tell me
what was the most common, not what was the most good'n.
Remember, I'm trying to figure out what makes asdfmovie popular, here.
I'm trying to make the perfect joke! So we made a website!
The way the site worked was simple: present a user with
2 sketches at random and ask them to pick their favourite. The one they chose
would go up in the rankings and the one they didn't would go down. We left the
site up for 80 hours and in that time had 2,200,000 counted votes,
meaning that each sketch was shown around 20,000 times
and had ample opportunity to prove its worth and make daddy proud...
I don't know why I said that. That felt bad. Before I reveal the most popular
sketches though, here are some of the interesting things we learned when
comparing the definitive rankings to the data on the spreadsheet. 1) It turns
out people don't actually like murder all that much. If a sketch featured an
intentional act of violence from one character to another,
it was more likely to be ranked lower. 2) People really like suicide!
Killing someone else? Monstrous. Heinous! Unthinkable! Killing yourself, though?
Hilarious relatable meme. My god, we all need therapy...
3) People generally didn't enjoy anticlimaxes, vore, and blood.
That's fine who needs blood anyway? 4) People really like funny voices, literal
outcomes, and angry characters so... Oh, I'm really angry and i think
I'm going to explode! Bleh! [laughs] That's what they want, right? This is easy.
Also, here are some pie flavoured pie charts using data from just the top 50
ranked sketches showing which tropes often came out on top.
Wow, circles! Now, I don't want to dwell on the lowest ranked sketches too
much because there did seem to be a correlation between how new
and therefore less-known the sketches were and how poorly they
performed but... I would be remiss for not mentioning
the 4 worst ranked sketches from least worst to
most worst. We have: Farting Butt 4! I'm not racist, but... Okay.
Farting Butt 2! I- I love you, but... [fart] Farting Butt 1! I am going to
open this door! [fart] and... Farting Butt 3! [fart]
Guess that's why they call it the "bottom" of the pile
[canned laughter] So, without further ado, here are the 10
most popular sketches: At number 10 we have Doctor Nerd!
Is anybody here a doctor?? I am! Well, you're a nerd! [high five]
9th is Trumpet License! Hey you got a license for that? You'll never
take me alive! [doot] In 8th, we have Standing Up School.
Hello and welcome to standing up school. [wham] aaand you fail!
7th - for some reason - is Mugged. You gettin' mugged, kid! No, you're getting
mugged! Ah, how the hell does that even work?! 6th is "Carrots"
Hey did you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? [splat]
... You lied to me! In 5th is Telephone Robbery. [ringtone] [gun cocking]
Voice on phone: This is a robbery [dramatic music]
[click] 4th is Take Out The Dog.
Jimmy! Take out the dog! Yes, mother. [gunshot] For a walk,
Jimmy... 3rd is Goodbye World. Goodbye world... Okay, Jim, I'll see you around. Where're you
goin- [gunshot] Oh! Oh no! Oh, that's not what I thought he meant by that at all!
2nd is Pie Flavoured Pie. I baked you a pie! Oh boy, what flavour?? Pie flavour! [electric guitar]
and finally, the number one... The numero uno. People's favourite sketch
which, honestly, came as a surprise to me... Play That One. Hey, Bobby, play that one
about falling down the stairs! Sure thing, Johnny! [tumble + piano impact] Johnny: I love it!
What's genuinely so surprising to me about this top 10 list is that
there are no recurring characters.
No "I Like Trains" kid, No Mine Turtle, Suicidal Muffin... Aside from
Standing Up School and Pie Flavored Pie none of these are jokes that i was
really even aware of were fan favourites. Perhaps they're the least
polarising sketches? They have the least annoying elements? They're the least
overexposed through merchandise? Maybe they're the most self-contained?
maybe when the website recontextualised them as still images
they worked better as comics? or maybe they are just the best jokes and the ones people
like the most... or maybe you're all just wrong! I don't know. So,
now that we've plugged the rankings into the spreadsheet we asked the computer to
look at what the most popular elements are and decide what it thought
should be the most popular sketch in the asdfmovie series so far and it came
back with Don't Touch That Cactus and given that
Don't Touch That Cactus came in at the rankings at number 11,
I guess it has surprisingly good taste? So we then asked the computer to predict
what it thinks the most perfect asdfmovie joke should contain...
and here's what it gave us: 3 characters, an accidental death,
a suicide, suicidal intent, a non-fatal injury, violence, a weapon,
fear, anger, & surprise, at least 1 animal, someone
saying the word "hey", and a celebrity guest! The time is finally here...
I have the truth in my hands! The objective formula
for the greatest asdf- No, the greatest joke of all time!
Proving that not only was this video not a waste of
time but my whole life's work was actually building
up to something so... Without wasting any more time...
I present to you... The greatest asdfmovie
joke of all time... [bouncy music] Hey, little doggie!
[wham] Oh no! ....
I'm still alive. [gun cock]
[gunshot] ... I've wasted my life. [bouncy music] Hey you! Thanks for watching.
I meant what I said at the start of this video: our
card game Muffin Time is out now! You can find it at muffintimegame.com and
I hope you enjoy asdfmovie13 when it comes out in the very near future! So,
thank you very much for watching and i'll see you later. TomSka out!
Man, Legal Eagle is cross-promoting with everyone these days. Should introduce Tomska to Indochino.
asdfmovie is always a bit of an odd duck to me. A lot of the random humor seems perfect for like a 7 year old but it's too violent for me to recommend to that age.
Holy crap. He's unrecognizable from the last time I've seen him.
Great Video
Holy fuck that last clip got me loved it
Did not expect Tom Scott at the end.
Guess you had to be there