What is A Little Life actually about? reading vlog with full spoilers | Drinking By My Shelf

happy friday i guess because i hate myself i have decided to reread a little life i.e the saddest book in the history of the world but also a book that i do happen to love and it has been like three years since i last tortured myself with it so i feel like the time is now this video idea was voted for by my patrons they wanted me to do this basically a little life reading vlogs have been all over the internet everyone's been doing them basically just filming themselves sobbing uh warning if that's what you're looking for here i'm not really a crier i don't really cry at books so you're probably not gonna get that but instead this video is for those of you who have seen those other vlogs are super intrigued what is a little life about but don't think you can quite take the pain of reading how many pages is this 720 pages of misery personally yourself and that's fine i respect that that's also how i felt before my friend forced me to read this and i happen to love it so what i'm gonna do is i'm to vlog myself reading this book and telling you literally every single thing that happens this is a full spoiler vlog so you can live the experience of reading a little life without actually having to read a little life and i'm not saying i don't recommend that you actually read it i do i gave this book five stars but it's not for everyone and if you know it's not for you then fair it's not for you so over the next few days i'm just going to read this book and tell you about it and i can't remember it's been long enough since i read this one that i can't remember all of the content warnings um to give you so i will just say there is a lot of potentially very upsetting content in this book and so if you have particular things that you are worried about coming across i would recommend that you google this book like that information is going to be out there um before going ahead and watching this because i will just be telling everything that happens i'm not going to go into graphic detail on any of these because that's what you're avoiding here you're watching this video maybe instead of reading the book because you don't want the graphic details so i won't be giving you any of those but i will just be telling you what is happening to our characters cool we're ready to go let's go i am not ready for this good morning this is what i look like it's 7 30 a.m let's do this i'm not quite sure how the beginning of this is gonna go because i do remember last time i read this the first chunk the first like 200 pages i'm gonna say i was just bored i was like this could have been an email i still think it's kind of unnecessary uh but maybe i will feel differently this time because now i know the characters and they know how much i'm gonna fall in love with them okay so we've met our main cast four boys jude willem malcolm and jb you may have seen those four names on that t-shirt that anthony from queer i was wearing anyway so they are four friends from college they were all roommates in college okay more things to know about the characters jb uh he is an artist and he's currently working on a series that's like dedicated to black hair so he's literally like going around barber shops and like collecting hair trimmings and stuff and then using them in his art projects also he is gay and then willem we have learned about him that he is very attractive and wherever he goes women fall in love with him but he seems not really to notice oh and we've also learned about jude that he like needs the elevator to work the elevator the lift to work um because he has trouble climbing stairs that's all we know about his like physical disabilities so far these boys have all been for these men have all been friends for like a decade now and they still have absolutely no idea about jude's past they don't know if he ever had parents in the first place he's just like this enigma to them okay something we've learned about jude is that he suffers from terrible terrible pain in his legs so when they met him at college he was using a cane to walk he also used to have an orthopedic crutch to help him walk um but he's like very very doesn't like to talk about the pain uh he doesn't like to make a big deal of it and willem and him so they were all roommates but they had like two separate rooms i think um so jude and william shared the room and it was only because of that that wooden got to see more of the pain that jude suffers he would have these episodes that were just so so extreme but he just who would be like so apologetic about it afterwards like it's very sad um and willem kind of learned that jude doesn't like to talk about it doesn't like to be helped and so learned to just like remove himself from the situation and let jude handle it on his own um because that's kind of what he always said he preferred but um just now he's having like another extremely painful episode and willem goes and like makes an excuse to go and be cleaning the bathroom and then kind of is standing there realizing like i'm a coward i should be in there helping him i should like make him see the light here we haven't heard very much about malcolm so far he is still living at home uh and his work is at a standstill his love life non-existence his sexuality unresolved and his future uncertain tell me about it okay so i'm not going to tell you anything graphic but we have just had the first introduction of self-harm so it's night before new year's eve the night before jude and willem are going to be hosting this big new year's party um and in the middle of the night jude wakes william up saying like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and he's wrapped his arm in a towel um and he's like i need you to take me to andy's and andy's is basically andy is this doctor who one of the only times that the three friends managed to take jude to the hospital back when they were at college when he had like a very severe um painful episode and he was the doctor that they saw then and ever since that has been like the only doctor that jude ever will go to so in the middle of the night they go to andy um and he it basically is revealed that jude has been self-harming and that he had hurt himself very very badly okay so i've just finished part one and i just love these characters so much i definitely am enjoying it like right from the beginning this time around now that i know that i'm gonna love these people so much and jude is just like such a wonderful character but i feel like i already feel like i have a lump in my throat because i like know all of the things that have happened to him but he's just such a wonderful character he's so sweet and kind and also like light-hearted and playful a lot of the time even though he's so serious and he's in so much pain and he's got so much trauma and like fear like um william mentioned that he has this habit of every time they enter a new room or a new space he immediately looks for nearest exit and stands by it and willem was like you know when we first noticed that it was funny and then it became not funny and like there's just so much terribleness i can't even remember that i'm going to discover as i go through but he's just this like i want to be his friend and i want to give him a hug okay we're going into part two okay so this is interesting part two is the first time we're actually hearing from like jude's inner voice so far we've explored all three other characters and kind of seen their perceptions of jude um but now we're actually like straight into jude's head and it doesn't even use the name jude it's just he and you just like realize you're finally in jude's head does that make sense we've just learned that the reason jude has problems with his legs is because of a car injury he specifically says car injury and then people like interpret that as car accident he hears them talking about it as a car accident afterwards and it's like he doesn't correct them but we know that it wasn't a car accident so we know that something like more sinister happened we've kind of jumped a little again to jude being at law school and he's talking about why he's studying law and also why he loves math so much because he's also doing a master's in pure math without the s um i'm not gonna lie this bit's a little boring however i should mention we have met a very important character harold so harold had been mentioned a few times in passing in the red before but now we're kind of flashing back to like after he left uni he went to law school and that's where he met harold um he was harold's research assistant um and harold and his wife julia became like parental figures like often invited around like every week for supper and harold bought him the suits that he needed for his first job like that kind of thing oh he's such a little tragedy he just does not believe that harold actually cares for him even though harold like so so clearly adores him and sees him kind of as a son and like harold has just written his fourth book and in the acknowledgements he writes about jude we don't know what he actually said um but jude has to like keep going and finding the book and looking at it again to kind of believe that harold actually cares for him and even then he's still in his head going like it will end this month next month he won't want to talk to me next month like he's trying to prepare himself angel okay so when i said that i never quiet books i think i kind of forgot that last time i read this i wasn't in the middle of coming off antidepressants nothing even major just happened just the relationship between jude and harold is really really special and harold had a son who died um and there was just a scene where jude obviously is like suffering from ptsd we still know the details of what happened to him but he when people make like sudden moves towards him it really scares him and harold had made a move towards him in like just a kind of jokey way they were like messing around and judah jumped back and knocked off this ceramic mug that harold's son jacob had made right before he died and it smashes and jude is like absolutely horrified that he done that he's done this um and harold's like completely gentle completely fine about it and then howard writes him this letter and it was just like this line where he talks about the as a metaphor for life things get broken and sometimes they get repaired and in most cases you realize that no matter what gets damaged life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss sometimes wonderfully life rearranged itself so they could find each other okay for the first time we're going back to find out some concrete truths about jude's past so he was found abandoned as a baby near a monastery and the monks took him in are they monks monks live in a monastery right yeah they're called brother something and they live in the monastery um they took him in and he grew up there but we know that he was hit by the brothers um and emotionally abused by them kind of the way that they talk to him about why he was abandoned oh god okay so the abuse gets a lot worse at the monastery he has his hand burnt as a punishment for something the beatings get really constant and also it's insinuated that the brothers or the monks start sexually abusing him as well i think one of the saddest things about jude as a character is that he is this optimistic or optimistic not the right word he is this hopeful person he has this kind of voice in his head that's asking him who he thinks he is to inconvenience so many people to think he has the right to keep going when even his own body tells him he should stop so it's almost like you know they're worried about him being suicidal but it's almost like he's the opposite if that doesn't that doesn't make any sense but that he feels like he's not supposed to have the right to want to keep living but that he does want to let's just quickly talk about the way the book is written because it's interesting and unusual and i don't think i noticed it that much the first time wrapped or at least i don't remember part one as i said at the time was just told in like regular third person narrator and it kind of jumped between telling you about malcolm jb and willem and we hear about jude only through those three's perspective of him and that was the whole of part one i think then part two started and that's the first time that we actually get to hear about jude's thoughts and go inside his head it's still told in third person but i don't believe it ever ever ever says the name jude like the name jude shows up in dialogue or people are talking to him but i might have to go back and check if it's true but i'm pretty certain the narrator never never says jude i don't know why i don't know exactly what that means he's just he but we know that the he is jude um so that was the first chapter of part two was a pretty big chapter that was all about jude and now i'm into chapter two of part two and suddenly like very unusual to switch at this stage or like 150 pages in for the first time we have a first person narrator and also it's told from i to you and i think that the i is harold the father figure and you is willem the best friend and this is harold's kind of talking about his relationship with jude and why it was so special but also without going back a little bit into his own past and learning about his growing up total like our left field complete change there and it's interesting what does it all mean what is it all for how do i analyze it i don't know it's been so long since i went to school harold asked to adopt jews legally and it's so beautiful and jude's so happy with the world oh my goodness and the adoption means so much to jude because after living in the monastery when he was about 12 13 he was moved to a home and from there they try and get their children adopted they have this literally like fair where they would go and couples would come and like look at them and look through binders of them and stuff and he was chosen for a trial weekend by this family who like straight away wants to change his name and they wanted him to work for them in the farm and stuff and it like meant so much to him he was so convinced he was going to be chosen and he was going to be able to be someone new be this new person but then after the trial weekend they just never called they just changed their minds and they never wanted him and he could never get over wondering like what he had done wrong was there something he could have done better so now even as an adult we're like in the weeks leading up to the legal adoption by harold and julia and he's like stop taking their calls stop talking to them because he so badly wants it to go through and he's so worried about what he might do wrong some very graphic descriptions of stuff um skim reading that bit he's so sorry he feels like he has to be sorry for these things that have happened to him so we haven't had the full story yet there's more to come i remember um but he's been he was sexually abused at the monastery that kept happening at the home as well he now has stds that he's living with and he feels like he has to be sorry to all the people around him okay finish part two i'm taking a break pausing on a nice happy part of the story that is something that's worth knowing about this book is there is a lot of happiness and that is something that no one told me like everyone who told me about that book before i read it was like it's just unrelenting sadness and awfulness and i just didn't find that to be true there is a lot of sadness in the book don't get me wrong it is one of the saddest books that i've ever read filled with like the greatest amount of suffering but it's not just unrelenting sadness there is love in there there are these amazing relationships so yeah that's just something to know there is a lot of good in the book as well so i'm pausing right now on a good bit i will return for part three when i've strengthened up a bit hello it is later i'm gonna read part three now first observation is that we are back to now hearing jude's name mentioned by the narrator and i just went back and checked and throughout the whole of part two no one was using juda's name so even in the section where it was like from harold's perspective also was just calling him he so i feel like it's something about this connection between harold and jude that like goes to that actual like core connecting it goes beyond the jude that was created by his trauma so the name jude was given to him by the monks um and he even talked at some point about how he always hated that name jude was like the patrons say to the judas like the patron saint of lost causes or something or of like the hopeless and helpless um so it's like this beautiful connection between harold and jude and also this way that jude sometimes is able to see himself as at this stage in his life he's able to see himself as more than the jude that was created by his history so i just write an essay anyway we're into part three now his name is being mentioned and the other three are back being like major characters again everyone's worried about jb we're not sure exactly why yet we just think he's not okay malcolm is getting married willem is having a fair amount of success as an actor and just like loves jude so much precious cinnamon roll um and jude is in a lot of pain he's in a wheelchair now and he remembers the days when he used to like go for walks that's something that i don't think i ever mentioned but he really loved going for walks even though his legs like weren't really up to it his doctor would get mad at him and now he like thinks back on that he's like lol i can't believe i used to be able to walk around so it's sad well okay so that part was all about their friendships and just showing like jude being such a good friend to all of them so jb is the one who's like the most troubled at this point in their lives he's become addicted to drugs and he's feeling really abandoned and alone he's just not in a good place anyway so we kind of followed that dissent but we checked him with all four characters and saw the ways that their friendships are so important and they're so there for each other but jude still is so completely unable to see that they might want to help him he so entirely thinks that he is a burden and must do everything in his power to not be more of a burden to them and it's like unable to see that everything all four of them do for each other is from love it's so sad i just want him to see it before i crack into part four i forgot to mention like the last thing that happened in a part three which was really sad so jb as i said is like not in a good place at all and jude has been trying to help him like he called up jude and was like please like get rid of all the drugs in my apartment like please help me but then he while jude was in his apartment doing that he went out and like bumped into the guy who basically is like a bad influence on him and he ends up like running away from jude and going off with this other guy um and the other guy was like making fun of jude and the way he walks was doing like this horrible like parody caricature impression of him and anyway then a little bit later like right at the end of this part all of the friends confront jb and they're like we're here for you like we want to help you and he's trying to resist it and then he starts doing the impression of jude um and everyone like then willem like punches him and then next thing you know he wakes up and he's in hospital and jude is there like none of the others are there but jude is there like curled up asleep has obviously just been by his side all night so it finishes with jb like just lying there being like crying being like i'm so sorry dude forgive me i can't believe i did that but like silently due to sleep jb is an internal turmoil okay with that we are now starting part four oh this is sad okay so it's been three years since that night that jb did the impression of jude and after like seeing him through his recovery jude then just hasn't really been able to bear being around him ever since willem completely cut him off jude just like can't get the image of him doing that impression out of his head and he feels like people have hurt him like so many people have hurt him in his life but this was the first time someone hurt him like that who he thought loved him who he knew loved him because jb clearly does love all of them so much and you can see that in like that he does these amazing painting series that are all about the friends um and it's the first time that someone who loved him and who he didn't know saw him that way could hurt him like that so it's been three years and he's just been unable to forgive him partly because he's scared he's gonna do the impression again and just at the end of this part here he like stands in front of the mirror having just seen jb they were all at a wedding together um coming back and self-harmed and then stands in front of the mirror and thinks jb was right that's why he can't forgive him it's because he was right to see him that way and then he starts doing that impression of himself himself oh god it's about to get really bad so after feeling lonely he meets a man called caleb at the dinner party who invites him out on a date he doesn't realize it's a date when he goes he thinks he's looking for a lawyer um but then like caleb kisses him and invites himself up so he's like three months into this relationship now with this horrible man called caleb who hates his walk uh like he hates his limp and kind of infers that he wouldn't have asked him out if he really i said a limp um but really really hates his wheelchair and it's like when jude says sometimes i need it sometimes i don't caleb's like yeah be sure that you don't i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him poor boy okay we're taking a break from that that last chapter was truly awful caleb begins hitting him caleb has this like complete repulsion of any signs of weakness and he views jude's health issues and his disabilities as weakness so he starts hitting him and then one night he jude um wakes up like unable to move his feet and he needs extra help and caleb won't let him use the wheelchair and he gets so angry watching jude fall over that he beats him up he rapes him he then leaves dude thinks okay i'm safe it's over i i'm out of that um but then one night he's at a restaurant with harold and caleb appears completely drunk starts insulting him harold gets really mad which makes caleb worse um but they they kick him out of the restaurant he's fine and then jude goes home opens the door and caleb is in there and he completely beats him up um and it's absolutely horrific and like jude has this particular sadness of like the fact that this is happening to him in his apartment that was like malcolm his friend malcolm had um done all the interior work on it was like in his safe apartment that was like gifted to him by people that he loves this is happening and then the chapter ends with caleb um pushing him down the stairs okay that's what happened okay so the last chapter of that part was maybe the worst so far um so that was another one from jew's perspective and we're alternating between present day and the past um so in the past we go back to when he is just ten no i think nine at the time it's kind of the years from when he's nine to eleven and um one of the brothers at the monastery brother luke was the only one who was ever kind to him and never hit him never never abused him um just would like he would teach him things and they would spend time in the garden together gardening and he grew to really really love brother luke and brother luke started telling him we're going to run away together and we're going to go and live in a cabin in the woods just the two of us so it builds up to this moment when he does run away with brother luke and they're driving off to this cabin that he's been told they're going to live in but they have to stop at the motel for a while and at first things are fine luke teaches him like piano and languages and all this stuff and they go he takes him running and he keeps telling him i'm working on getting us the money to go and live in this cabin um but after a while he says i don't have enough money i'm gonna need you to help me make some money and then he starts um basically he's he becomes his pimp basically and this boy is like nine years old at the point this starts he's already been sexually abused by the brothers of the monastery and he's now become a sex worker and this goes on for years and he eventually realizes there is no cabin in the woods that's not happening it's never going to happen and then to make it worse brother luke himself also starts having sex with him and telling him that he views brother luke as a father he thinks they're going to be father and son um but luke slowly switches the way that he you know says he would say we love each other i love you and he slowly makes that into where we're in love with each other um the things that we do together it won't hurt the same way it won't be as awful as it is with the clients because it's different because we're in love um so he's like grooming him and luke also teaches him how to self-harm that's where that comes from um and this goes on for a few years until uh the police arrive one day um to arrest brother luke and brother luke takes his own life before they can get him um and the reaction jude is kind of rescued and he's taken to a doctor but everyone's reactions to hearing what happened for the last few years are so horrified that jude interprets it as that he's dirty he's shameful um and then he's taken to the home where as we found out earlier the sexual abuse just keeps happening from new people there um so we're going between that awfulness in the past and then also flash forwards to present day where jude decides to take his own life and he attempts to do that um he doesn't but he's very very seriously injured he spends some time in a psychiatric ward after that but um it's just like the absolute saddest thing when he's deciding that he doesn't want to live anymore is he has this image in his head of this cabin in the woods where he's he thinks that if he stops living he'll be able to reach the cabin in the woods and then for the first time in his life he'll be able to rest somewhere safe but after the suicide attempt after he comes home from the psychiatric ward willem moves back in with him again willem is now a pretty famous actor but he pulls out a project and comes back to live with jude and he says he asks him this is what i need from you i need you to tell me what has happened to you and jude um gets this flash of thinking about anna his social worker back from when he was a teenager and um is like craving seeing her because at the time she had said please let me teach you how to talk about this stuff it's just going to get harder and he never could and now it's so much more impossible he's kind of craving please anna ask me just one more time ask me if you can help because i'll say yes i need you to help me now okay we're stopping part five is called the happy years do we believe this so here's what's going to begin those happy years willem who as we know has loved jude for decades at this point is realizing that perhaps the love he feels is not just friendship he loves him he wants to kiss he wants to marry him okay they're going out and it's going really well and jude is learning to really enjoy like the physical closeness like they're not he's taking it very slow he's not sure that sex is anything he'll ever be able to um enjoy but just like they cuddle this is really nice um and caleb just died the obituary was in the newspaper that caleb died and [ __ ] that [ __ ] their relationship's really lovely we're in the happy years as i promised and also their relationship is very two sided which is nice like obviously judah's the one who has all of this trauma willem takes care of him but also in so many other ways jude take takes care of willem like it's it is an equal relationship it's just nice i know things are gonna go bad but for now i'm just enjoying it being nice cool well that happy bit didn't last very long did it we're now a couple years into their relationship they have started having sex which has been very hard for jude and brought all of his worst self-harming back to the surface willem has been really struggling with it there was even a bit where willem caught himself harming in the night after having like begged him not to begs him to wake him up and ask for help when he felt that urge and then willem actually cut himself in front of jude kind of to show him how horrible is to watch someone that you love hurting themselves that way um but you know that didn't help it just led to this more guilt and shame for jude um and where i've just got to you william has been away for a while working on a film uh and jude like very very badly burnt himself because he promised not to cut himself so he very badly burns himself instead it's all terrible okay jude and willem have this huge huge fight it nearly ends with them breaking up um but then willem like rushes back and they basically like lock themselves in the cupboard and jude finally tells his whole story to willem and he admits to william how much he can't bear having sex and william kind of realizes that he's like almost behaved like the people in jude's past it's intense it's very intense okay one last bad flashback and then we are done with the trauma from jews past so after his time spent with brother luke then he was taken to the home uh where he continued to be abused and then from there in the most recent flashback we learned that he ran away from the home one night hitchhiked to boston or like towards boston again through um you know repaying men who would pick him up with sex so that just continued to be the only way that he knew how to survive and then he gets ill he contracts some venereal disease and he's getting weaker and weaker and passes out outside a gas station and when he wakes up he's in the back of a car and basically this psychiatrist calls himself a psychiatrist called doctor trailer picks him up takes him to his house and basically like keeps him imprisoned there for about four months um curing him like he gives him pills he gets him through the infection um but then begins raping him and keeps him prisoner there for these four months doing worse and worse things to him until finally he decides i i don't want you anymore it's time for you to go and he takes him out in the car and says run and he basically for ages has jude running along the road while he's driving in the car right behind him like bumping into the back of his legs and jude has always loved running i don't know if i've mentioned that before he used to run crush crunch it was like one of the only things that he liked doing with brother luke um and he keeps running and running but it's getting harder and harder and harder and eventually he falls and he can't get up anymore and then doctor trailer just runs over him and that is why his legs are so damaged and here is quite a good example of like the hopefulness that i always say i like about this book even though people are like how do you find hopefulness in it but basically he's talking about how after the final experience with dr traylor his life became more improbable by the year and so as the years went by he broke his promises to himself again and again he did end up following people who are kind to him he did trust people again he did have sex again he did hope to be saved and he was right to do so not every time of course but most of the time he ignored what the pastor taught him and more often than he should have been he was rewarded for it it's nice there's niceness if only we could believe it was now gonna be a happy ever after for jude but we cannot believe that okay jude and william have settled into this wonderful relationship they're no longer having a sexual relationship but they are a couple and have this incredibly loving relationship it's so beautiful but jude is getting very very ill so he's been having a couple of like very serious bone infections in his legs and basically andy says that he needs to have them both amputated so that's been really sad part of the story him coming to terms with that and also his trauma just kind of chasing him and getting worse and worse he's having these nightmares at night and he's just very unwell but very happy with willam the amputation turns out to be this pretty great thing because after the recovery period suddenly june's not in so much pain all the time and he has the energy back to do these things that he used to love doing so he can go to plays he can even walk for like hours at a time it turns out to be this great thing in his life no no no willem died in the chorus it's not fair oh it is grim so malcolm also died in that car accident we discover with willam uh so uh jude and jb are left and falling apart and jude just spends his days rereading old emails and looking at old photos and he gives himself like a quota of how many he's allowed to look at because he has to save them it's wrong i'm okay she always comes to comfort me so it's finished so after willem dies jude hangs on for about three more years until of course he kills himself as they all knew that he would and that whole section was narrated from harold's perspective and it's just absolutely heartbreaking and he leaves behind um for harold this letter where he confesses his past and um like harold can't bear the fact that he died thinking that he owed them an apology for what had been done to him like he never ever thought all the people who loved him was able to believe any of it other than the terrible things that had been done to him and said to him and how he was made to believe the things he was made to believe by himself in those first like 15 years of his life it's very bleak i can't remember now why i've always said that i found this to be a beautiful hopeful story because what is the hope in that yeah it's depressing right hips in conclusion i did love a little life every bit as much the second time around if not more it really really isn't for everyone it is so horrific as you've just seen everything that happens um and you know some of those scenes are pretty graphic i really had to like half shut my eyes at some of those it's a terrible terrible story about trauma and about how hard it is to see yourself as anything other than the worst things that have been said to you but i think the reason i find it this beautiful story is that there is so much love in it even though that love causes so much heartbreak your jude loves william so much and is so destroyed by his death harold loves jude so much and is so heartbroken like all of these things we're just reading like the worst case scenarios we're reading so much tragedy so much suffering but even within that the biggest theme in that book the biggest recurring emotion is love and also i guess how jude this person who thinks so little of himself the whole way through the book while he doesn't know it he is able to bring so much joy to other people's lives he's such a good person he's such a kind person and there are so many people harold and willem and jb and malcolm and andy and the people that he works with and richard i don't even mention him who lives in his building and he's becomes a really good friend there are so many people who love him so much and that that love is you know it's a two-way street it's because of the amazing things that he brings to their life i feel blue but there you go if you've ever wondered what a little life is about that is what it's about i'll buy it though which shouldn't feel like comforting me for too long i obviously got boring i'm gonna go and cry myself to sleep now uh but i will see you for a cheerier video hopefully next friday i can only apologize about all the mystery i just put you through it really [Music] you to stay

Channel: Drinking By My Shelf

Views: 81,619

Keywords: a little life, reading vlog, full spoilers

Id: ddGj3JtnbR8

Length: 37min 28sec (2248 seconds)

Published: Fri May 14 2021