Translator: Leonardo Silva
Reviewer: Peter van de Ven I want you to imagine
something for a second. Imagine that you are unable to tell the people you care about
the most in this world that you love them. Imagine a situation where you wouldn't even be able
to tell your loved ones about your basic needs. Imagine not being able
to tell your dad that you're hungry, or your mom that you're thirsty. For all intents and purposes, you are just there, with no way of communicating
with those around you. This used to be my reality. Most people that know me have no idea that I actually didn't speak
until I was two and a half years old. I grew up just like any other kid, into a loving family
and having a warm place to live. But when my parents realized
that I didn't have any words, and for a while I didn't have any sounds, they began to worry
about what my future would be. Thankfully, though, my parents became my biggest advocates. While people were telling my parents that, "Oh, he's a late bloomer. He'll grow out of it," they never took that advice. And because they never took that advice, for the next 18 months, they focused on what
they could do to help me. Born and raised in New Jersey, they took me to see
some of the best physicians, the best therapists and the best people in our tri-state area. Until, when I was four,
I was finally diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder-
Not Otherwise Specified, a form of autism. My parents finally sighed
a breath of relief. They finally knew what my diagnosis was and could help prepare for my future. One of the hardest things I think I hear in my profession today
as an autism advocate is when I talk to a parent who says that their child
was just diagnosed with autism. Not because that kid can't do
amazing things in this world, but because of the uncertainty
that autism can bring. My parents decided to get me focused on rigorous occupational,
physical and speech therapy, which I did for almost 15 years
after I was diagnosed. Trust me, it wasn't easy. While a lot of my friends
were making friends, getting into relationships as teenagers and getting involved
with after-school activities, I had IEP meetings and in-house therapist's
appointments to attend, and doctor's appointments to attend, to help with things
like not being able to speak, having sensory overload and having a wide range of difficulties that, I can honestly say today, because I've been able to press, they're no longer a weakness of mine, and many of them have become a strength. So, this question of what happens
to children with autism when they become adults with autism is what's happening today. Kids are growing up such as myself
every single day on the autism spectrum, and we have to be ready for these kids. I can say it because looking at where I came from, I never thought any of this
would have been possible, let alone speaking on a TEDx stage. And now I give talks across the country
as a national motivational speaker, I've written several best-selling books, I've consulted on several motion pictures, and I think, to some extent,
most importantly, I've been able to prove the experts wrong. It wasn't always easy, but now, I can say today that I'm here, and that's a great thing. So, a few years ago, I was speaking at one
of my very first autism conferences, and a parent came up to me who had a young son
on the autism spectrum, but the father must have been
in his early sixties. And he came up to me with one question, and I was kind of stunned
when he threw that question at me. The question was, "What will happen to my child
when I'm gone?" This isn't something
that only affects our autism community, but it affects every single one
of us in this room. We're always thinking about, "What will happen to my child
when I'm gone? Will they have supports? Will they be able to progress,
to live their dreams?" And for me, this became a million-dollar question
in our autism community. While this father was crying, asking me this question, while his son was
just right there, nonverbal, couldn't really even
understand the question, I thought to myself, "This is why I do what I do here today." I do it because of people
like that father, and because when these kids
do become adults, I want to see them live
the best lives possible and be able to go after
their dreams just like me, being able to give a [TEDx] talk
in front of all of you today. So, when kids do reach adulthood, though, there are many questions
that they're going to be faced. With children with autism, it's focused on everything
from early intervention plans to how we can get them the best services
to get them to adulthood. But once they're at adulthood, these are some questions
that face lots of young adults and adults today in our community. Think about it for a second. "Will my child be able to find a job?" "Will my child be able to go to college?" "Will my child be able to find supports
after they age out of school?" "Will my child be able to live
in a group home or independently?" "Will my child be supported financially?" "Will my child be able
to find love one day?" And finally, "Will my family take care
of my child when I'm gone?" I'm trying to answer
some of these questions today as an autism advocate. In 2011, I started a scholarship program that gives out scholarships
to young adults with autism who want to pursue
a post-secondary education. Even though we're just starting off, we've been able to give out
several scholarships to bright, young-minded individuals who are going out there every single day
and are pursuing their dreams. And our hope in the long term is to give out hundreds of scholarships
to these bright individuals who are making a difference
in their autism community. Regardless of where you are
in the autism spectrum, one thing we say a lot is
if you've met one person with autism, you've met just that:
one person with autism. And every single person's story
is going to be vastly different compared to the next person
you're going to meet. I want to share with you
a few stories today, though, of individuals who are
currently facing this question of the transition to adulthood. I know of a family - a father, actually, who has a young son who just reached
adulthood on the autism spectrum and, unfortunately, just had
to place him in a group home. It was probably one of the most
heartbreaking transitions this father, let alone his family,
ever had to go through. But he'd decided
while all of this was going on to become an autism
advocate for his son, focused on that transition. He started getting his son
horseback riding therapy because he knows his son loves horses. And then, he got him
his first full-time job. Not a big job, but he got him a job
as a janitorial assistant, working 40 hours a week. And finally, he started working
with his local government to find out what housing requirements
he can get for his son as he grows up so that one day, he may be able to live
independently and have a family. The second story is
of a mom I know down south who has an eight-year-old son
on the autism spectrum who has aggressive tendencies. She's confronted me several times about the fact that
although her son has difficulties, she's worried about the future
because he's so prone to violence. She's asked me on many occasions, "Do you think I will be able
to keep my son at home if he continues to lash out at me?" It's a very difficult question, but what she is doing right now is
she is working with in-house therapists while she also fundraises for her son to make sure that across a lifespan,
because he's still very young, he gets the right supports, because one day, his goal is
that he is going to be a famous painter. And that would be a great thing to say. The final story is
of a very, very young child, a child who's just four years old,
who is going into pre-K. This child had progressed a lot since she was diagnosed
with autism at two, but in just the past few months, she had regressed and stopped speaking. I think it's one of the most
difficult transitions, to have your child say
their first words at a very old age, like this girl did, and then to not be able to say anything,
let alone make any sounds. But her mom is optimistic. Her mom is optimistic because now she is looking
at the future for her child. What started off as
a college fund for her daughter has now become a trust fund
for her, for her entire life. As she looks at the cost of autism
across the lifespan, she is now currently looking
to find full-time employment, as being a stay-at-home mom
is no longer an option. No matter where you are
in the autism spectrum, regardless if it's a child or adult, this is why it hits so many of us. And as an autism advocate, there are many things we can do
to focus on that transition to adulthood. First, we need to ask questions, and there aren't only
for families who have a child, but also just all of us together,
to help our kids progress. The first thing you need to do
is ask questions when you're uncertain
about different weaknesses that your child is
going through in their life. Being educated and having
the research there to help provide you
with the proper resources is crucial. My parents had to create the wheel because when I was growing up,
autism was still very unknown, but today, we do have the resources. So, stay self-motivated and know that we are finding answers
for autism every single day. Second: self-reflect. After your child goes to bed
every single night, write down what they do well and what they had weaknesses
and challenges with for that day. As they grow up, read over that journal and reflect on what they have done best
and what they could work on, not only with your family, but that child's village,
that child's school, that child's therapist. Finally: advocate. We need to teach these kids
as they grow into adults with autism how to advocate for themselves. But that doesn't mean
that we only stop with them. We need to advocate
for our kid's rights every single day because we are their village
and they are part of our community. In closing, I have a twelve-year-old mentee
whose birthday was actually today, a twelve-year-old mentee right now who aspires to be a New York Jets cheerleader
when she grows up. And I think about her successes, but then I also think
about her challenges, and I think to myself, "She shows a lot
of the same characteristics that I did when I was growing up." And I want to be there for her. I want to be there for her because when she grows up, she's going to be
the absolute best cheerleader, not only in the NFL, but in the world. And I'm going to be able
to go to a stadium, and I'm going to be able to say that not only is she the best
in her profession, but she's a role model and an inspiration
for what she's been able to overcome. That's my goal for her. But that's not only my goal for her; that's my goal for every single
individual who has autism, who has a developmental disability. That's for every single person
in this room tonight. We can make a difference for our kids, and that's because we are learning
not only about autism, but so many different things
every single day. And today, I can say that I've fulfilled
many of the dreams that I've sought after in my life. When my dad retired,
I had just turned 26 years old, and what I was able to tell him while we were cutting the cake
for his retirement party, was, "Dad, it was because of you, it was because of you and that village, my mom and dad,
my loved ones, my community, that I was able to overcome my obstacles and become an adult who today
is currently pursuing his dreams." Regardless of who is in your village, whether it be a family member
or parents or a co-worker or a friend, always be ready to know that you are never,
never alone in your village. Always find those supports because my supports
and my village and my community I think are the reason
why I'm here today. And as our kids grow up, I want to see them
be able to achieve their dreams, dreams such as - being able to find a job, being able to graduate from college, being able to find love one day, being able to get married, and finally, and I think most importantly,
regardless of anything I've said tonight, finding happiness in whatever
they decide to do in their life. Thank you. (Applause)
5:10 in the video kinda says what most people are worried about. What will happened to my child/me when I'm/my parent/my support is gone?
It is sad this guy like most all have 0 answers to this other than having the parents be able to finically support them even after they are dead.