What Did You Do That Made Strangers Talk About You?

what is the story that strangers waiters bus passengers cashier so etc probably tell that involves you one time in high school i accidentally ended up taking a latin test when i am not in a latin class i was too embarrassed to leave the classroom so i pretended to think hard about each question and then just wrote random answers i figured i could just turn in the test and leave without anyone realizing until after i left that i wasn't in that class except when i went to turn it in the teacher happened to look down at my paper looked up at me and realized i wasn't in the class then looked down at my answers again and just said oh but never in my life have i felt so much disappointment aimed at me than that one oh i was so embarrassed but i like to think that that teacher now has a funny story about the idiot who came into the wrong class and took the test anyways the poor woman forced to sit next to me on the bolt bus from nyc to philly in october 2013 probably still dreams of me but you see the night before i had smashed my face into the sharp edge of a coffee table during a drunken hookup on the floor of my friend's apartment i almost but not quite put my teeth clean through the thin piece of skin under the lip but above the chin being sort of young and definitely drunk we decided to not go to the hospital rather stick a large band-aid on my face and hope for the best i also had what turned out to be the beginning stages of bronchitis i had to get on the bus with a hangover a cough rivling that of a dickensian street child and a cut on my face that would open and bleed profusely each time i moved my mouth i also woke up late for the bus so there was no time to even try to clean up my appearance this poor lovely woman sits down next to me i smile at her in an attempt to convince her i am human and alive and i promptly start gushing blood from my face i then begin to panic which sets off a coughing fit blood gets into my mouth and despite my best efforts to cover my mouth the chaos of the situation prevailed and i basically sputtered aerosolized blood all over our little shared area of the bus there was nowhere for this sweet sweet angel of a woman to go and so she was forced to sit next to me for the whole three-hour drive the pressure of this horrifically awkward interaction proved too much for me and so i decided my best course of action was to knock myself out with cough medicine and wait for either death or my right to pick me up at the bus stop mercifully sleep took me after 10 minutes of determined silence from both of us i made it home and spent the following week in bed i also have a scar on my chin thank you for the gold and the commiseration red it the scar on my chin is fading the emotional scars are much more persistent the image you painted was hilarious probably bus driver passengers i was running after the bus driver stopped and i face planted right in front of everyone i got back up lost my footing on the step to get into the bus and fell backwards and hit my head on the pavement the driver dropped me at the hospital i was going to tell a bus story but this wins right as i left the grocery store the skies open up and water poured down i ran to my car in a nearly blinding rain grabbed the driver's side door and yanked the handle it didn't open crap as i got soaked i yanked and yanked and yanked but it wouldn't open it was locked but i didn't lock it after a few seconds i heard a scream looked inside the car and saw an elderly woman sitting in the passenger seat with a terrified expression on her face wtf then i looked one row over in the lot and saw my car calmly waiting for me i had run up to an identical car to mine and tried to yank the door open i am sure that in the following years that old woman repeatedly told the story of the time some crazy guy tried to break into her car and kidnap her one evening i was having some friends over for a fire and some pizza so i ordered the pizza specified for the driver to bring eye out back and then i went outside to get the fire together before my friends arrived i started chopping the wood and was burning up so i went inside to put on some gym shorts at this point i realized all my shorts were in the wash and i saw a skirt of my girlfriends laying on the floor forgetting about the pizza man coming i just put on the skirt and nothing else and went outside to chop wood in it feeling much less hot in it after about 10 minutes of chopping wood shirtless and in my pretty skirt i hear what the frickin turn around sweaty holding my ax with a skirt on to see the pizza man just starting at me needless to say it was a little awkward where i live i don't think most people would bat an eye i once waited on an elderly gentleman in a john deere hat and overalls a scruffy beard and a pair of dagger point stilettos that were frankly smocking rock on self-confident farmer man i hope you feel sexy was at the office supporting a major project we had done on our finance department overnight ammonite after the important stuff was done i went to the bathroom to take a crap was a long coffee filled night so my stomach was feeling it sit down start doing my business and someone else comes and sits in the only other stall in there nice shoes i think to myself i finish up before the other person so i wipe and get up our office has auto flushing toilets so it flashes clogged no big deal i think to myself we'll just go wash my hands and tell facilities bend down to pull my pants up infrared picks me up and flushes again at this point the water comes within one stroke eight of an inch from the rim i'm getting nervous there is tons of splatter crap floating in that devil's brew of water and it's right at the edge of disaster at this point i do my best james bond impersonation to try and slide out of the stall without being noticed by the villainous toilet lasers i successfully make it out hugh grab the stall handle to close the door and i hear the sound i had so desperately tried to avoid flush i instinctively say oh my god auto flush crap infused water starts covering the floor in all directions and fast as i say this i see mister nice shoes tm lift his feet up in the air to keep them safe like the floor is lava and yells what the frick i blurt out going to get help be right back and leave him trapped in his stall holding his feet off the ground while taking a crap of his own walk downstairs find the front desk person and say someone flooded the bathroom on the second floor it's disgusting in an off-put tone to try to cover my tracks i've always imagined that story being retold by mr nice shoes when i was growing up my mother drove cadillacs my grandfather had been really sick and was re-learning how to drive keep in mind he was in his late 60s and in fairly good shape he convinced his daughter-in-law my mother to let him and myself a young four-year-old to go pick up my father from work i was in the back seat in my car seat when his foot slipped at a stoplight he ran through the front of a store completely destroying the front of it i slept through the entire thing didn't wake up until my firefighter pulled me out of my car seat that's when i discovered my love for sleep and my ability to sleep through almost anything i had an endoscopy and colonoscopy unsedated in the same appointment almost every physician and nurse in that hospital came to see and when i was in recovery so many ask me questions i'm well known there i called recently to get my records and the receptionist said you're the girl who did it unsedated i don't know how you lived through that i woke up in the middle of each procedure the first time i did them i had choking nightmares for six months about the endoscopy the colonoscopy was like being buggered by a 20-foot long dong was riding shotgun in my own jeep cherokee and i had my backpack on the floor at my feet i was in a big rush to get into the bank so as soon as he parked i pushed open the door and hopped right out except that my feet were somehow through one strap of the backpack so they didn't come with me i just sort of plopped out landing flat on my back with just my feet still in the car in a crowded parking lot of a bank on a busy street at russia my bf was laughing too hard to help me up as were men a passerby but the people still talking about this 12 years later are my co-workers because i strained both achilles with this agile maneuver so my ankles and feet swelled up and i couldn't fit them into shoes for over a week had to wear flip-flops in november and limp around the office in socks the whole time have never been able to live it down with my friends and family i thought you would run in the bank really fast with a bag looking like you're about to rob it i paid for a lady shopping when both her cards got declined and she started crying and putting things back her daughter had a magazine and she started crying and asking why i pretended that she had dropped a 20-pound note and handed it to her so she could pay i've been there and know how it feels anyway about a month or so later my brother-in-law whose girlfriend worked in the supermarket started telling the story to me and my wife about this guy who paid for the shopping so i'm that guy that till girls and morrisons tell stories about woohoo you're a nice person parked my smart car in a tesco car park got out and proceeded to walk to the shop entrance i pressed the lock on my key and turned round to check that it locked then crap i see my car rolling backwards across two lanes of traffic narrowly missing numerous vehicles so i sprint to try and catch up with it whilst screaming every swear word i know and multiple people watching the whole thing unfold for some reason i thought i'd be able to run the length of the car park and stop the vehicle but i get about three feet away before it rolls into another parked car and grinds to a halt lots of people saw i expected it to not be your car and just be a person reversing their very similar looking one while living in japan i often have what you'd call second language exhaustion i guess i can understand most of what people say in japanese and converse well enough but at the end of a long day my mind gets tired out and it all just sounds like gibberish let me tell you it's a bizarre feeling to look someone in the face and think two hours ago i understood everything you were saying when the heck did you start sounding like charlie brown's grandma at times like that when people talk to me my mouth just starts throwing out random phrases that make no sense at all or i accidentally use words phrases that sound similar to the ones i should be seeing some of my worst cringe moments at the supermarket employee boeing irasha mace welcome to the store me bowing back iraqi mace welcome to the store talking to a guy friend what i meant to say he jousu wow you're good at this what i said he josie wow you're a woman after a meal with friends pointing at my full stomach what i meant to say haha i pay nia i'm so full you know what i said haha a pain er i've sure got some nice boobs and the right guys sounds boring but when i went to vacation in croatia we ordered one of every pancake on the menu to eat as dinner in the netherlands eating pancakes for dinner is normal the pancakes were listed under the dessert section though i think we had six each and the waiter had a smile from here to here with every pancake he brought us we gave him a big tip even when it's not customary to do so in europe just a small tip will do most of the time comma a small tip will do on behalf of all europeans to americans yeah we want your money so big tips are fine too especially greece i flew home the other week with a nasty cold all was well and good until the descent my ears didn't pop the whole way down i was crying and driving in agony grasping at my face and pulling my ears trying desperately to make them pop in amongst it all i noticed the people in my row were looking at me like i was possessed and leaning as far away from me as possible oh my god i've been there too thought my whole face was gonna explode i also couldn't hear anything for like a day first time i went to india i had purple hair went to the zoo because why not every kid there didn't want pictures of the lions or the tigers or the monkeys or anything they wanted pictures with the white guy with purple hair i'm sure there are pictures of me surrounded by smiling kids and several houses in india at my big tesco a few years ago i was a uni student so times were hard tesco has an offer for one kilogram of cathedral city which was six pounds but had been reduced by one pound i was a cheataholic so i thought it was a pretty good deal i got to the counter and instead of being reduced by one pound it was reduced to one pound i went back and bought 10 kilograms worth you sound like one of those people in a maths question last day of exams in first year of uni i'm with my friends and then girlfriend at the su and we're celebrating it must only have been 12 30 p.m but i'd already had five six pints of strongbow when my girlfriend decided to take me back to halls we get on the bus and i rest my head against the window as i'm fairly slaughtered well the vibrations of the bus moving in my skull had started to make me feel quite unwell my girlfriend later described my face as blue so i push the button to stop the bus i realize i'm going to chuck up very soon and hope the bus stops and i get away in time it didn't happen the bus stops but before the door opens i hurl on the floor right onto the skirts of a woman wearing a hijab next to the door i mumble my apologies and stagger off whilst my girlfriend runs to buy me some water and a new shirt we go to the next bus stop and all the passengers are there from my bus as my bus had to go back to the depot to be cleaned haven't drunk strongbow since oh god that moment when you get to the bus stop and recognize all the passengers from the first bus funny yet terrible in japan when you want a waiter you say some amazon well i ask my friend who is closer to the view of our waitress to turn and say some amazon he turns and there is a guy right there who he kinda quietly and directly says it too it wasn't our waitress but he responds yes what would you like in english food gets ordered asks us where we are from and welcomes us to japan then he walks back to his table my friend got another customer of the place to order food for us and went back to his table of like 15 co-workers we laughed when we realized what happened they laughed when he told his table it was a good time this just happened a week ago i was out drinking with my friends and i wanted to leave for the next bar because it is closer to my home and i knew i would be struggling during the walk stumble as i leave the bar a bachelorette party on one of those pub crota things caught with 10 or so seats where everyone pedals to make it move drove by they were going my way so i hopped on for a quick ride i don't know what was said but as we passed my destination i hopped off without them stopping and went about my night i like to think that i was the highlight of their night smooth hey remember that boy who accidentally set himself on fire with matches in the grocery store i had grabbed and bought of matches in the gas station before my dad took us shopping unbeknownst to him walking around honor the match books came undone and rubbed a match head against the friction strip of another matchbook flame on i smothered the flames suffering an incinerated pocket and mild burn to my thigh but dad gave me a third degree burn to my butt when we got home about a week ago i was at the gym i do my usual workout and then grab a towel and strip down and head to the steam room chilling in the steam room for my normal 15 minutes while walking to the area with the scales the combination of wet shower floors and my wet feet from the steam room i ate crap but not a normal slip oh this had to be dramatic i felt my body going so i reached my hands out to try and grab the wall the way i moved it caused my towel to come undone then my legs started going and i probably looked like shaggy from scooby-doo when he starts to run legs were everywhere next thing i knew i was on the ground and the cleaning dude comes by and just says careful you gotta be careful as i'm laying buck about naked on this wet gym floor i got up and realized at least five dude saw me i cut her off after her fifth drink she gets upset and leaves i catch her not even 10 minutes later with three new drinks bought by some guy kick her out again with her new friend she returns again and is actually stealing other people's drinks it wasn't until i threatened to call the cops that she finally left for good i would be surprised if she made it home safe or even alive not my proudest moment i thought this was going to turn into the office at a local minor league baseball game the umpire lost count of strikes during a playoff game somewhere in the second inning he did it again in the fourth i took it upon myself probably because i was nearly a dozen beers in at this point to begin counting strikes as the count from sesame street it wasn't long before an entire section behind home plate had joined in i hope you did the laugh as well my friend and i threw a party in a restaurant included in that party was my friend's very expensive afghan hound but we'd agreed beforehand that the dog was to go home a few hours early so it wouldn't get stress bored so we had a deal with another friend who was a cab driver to pick up the dog and then take it home for us a lot of people who were outside that night witnessed two folks hail down a cab put their expensive dog inside and then watch the car drive away that's great there's a cat in england who likes to wander the village and go to the pub in the evenings for company but when he's ready to leave someone will hail a cab and open the door for him and the cabbie will drive him home well i have weird reactions to coming out of in a seizure i always forget where i am and if a relative isn't in the room with me i panic and try to escape when i had my wisdom teeth removed all four were coming in horizontally i had to be put completely out i told the nurse dentist and husband that he needed to be in the room with me when i woke up or i might try to fight people they all three laughed it off because how much damage could i really do i woke up and the only person in the room was a male nurse i panicked smashed the guy's face into the wall while he had his back turned and ran out of the office down the street into an ihop screaming that someone was after me apparently my husband was in the bathroom at the time both the dentist office and the ihop call the police by far the most embarrassing thing i have ever been through in my life my inner b is just going well you freaking warned them and they didn't take you seriously so that's what they get my dad used to drive a bus where the front window was sloped rather than being flat and left a very large open area above the engine during the winter that area got very warm and was large enough for me to lie down in and read or fall asleep there was a few times that passengers stopped what they were doing when they saw me in there and had to be prompted this story falls under the strangers category i used to be really into off-road rock crawling in my jeep wrangler and was on a weekend run with a large group of other wranglers from a popular forum in big bear ca the weather was great and before i left i removed my doors and hard top basically making my jeep a permanent convertible without doors for the whole weekend which is something i would prefer to do as it allows you to see the technical areas on the trail better after our last run and back at the campsite it was like a drunken frat party with a bunch of middle-aged whack jobs who talk about jeeps all day long myself included i got pretty drunk and passed out in my tent unforeseen instant weather change while i was comfortably passed out the largest thunderstorm of the year decided to magically appear and stayed throughout the whole next morning i woke up to find that everyone else in the group woke up early packed up quick and left but not me i slept in until about 8 am and packed all of my camping gear into my completely soaked jeep so here i am some absolute weirdo driving down the mountain in pouring rain with no top and no doors on his jeep getting absolutely douched with rain now for the most embarrassing part anyone who has driven down big bear mountain knows that there are long stretches of winding road where there are no shoulders to pull over and turn out so few and far between some people get frustrated about vehicles taking the road a little too slow i am not one of those guys i just accept that i am stuck behind someone and deal with it well the copious amounts of water seeped into my steering wheel and column and caused my horn to sound uncommanded continuously man i had three people flip me the bird put their hands up in the air and call me all kinds of bad things on that stretch of road when i got to the bottom and finally found a safe spot to pull over i disconnected the lead on the horn itself in the engine bay to continue on my long wet cold drive home with a mild hangover when i got home i had to remove all of the carpet from my jeep and pull out the about seven of the drain plugs in the floorboards to drain out my interior as there was about three inches of standing water inside good thing jeeps are designed with this kind of crap in mind this is great i would totally be telling this story if i were a passerby so this dong in a jeep without the roof or doors during a downpour when i lived in germany my girlfriend and i went out to an indian restaurant germans aren't really so much into spicy food on the menu it offered the dishes as normal spiced for german tastes hot and indian hot i told the waitress i wanted the indian hot level of spiciness she told me in a very serious tone that you will not be able to eat it just choose the hot and you will be happy well i didn't want to be told how to eat by a young german woman so i explained to her that we like spicy food in the usa and i would be able to eat what germans could not she tried again to dissuade me but i sent her off to the kitchen with my order when she brought my meal the entire kitchen staff came out to watch me eat it i should have took that as a big red flag i dug into my food and managed to get one good swallow down my throat and then my throat literally constricted i was pain i had to go immediately to the toilet and vomit from then on whenever i went to that restaurant that waitress always asked me in a very amusing but condescending tone and would you like that indian hot if you are new to the channel 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Channel: OnTap Studios

Views: 18,354

Rating: 4.9346642 out of 5

Keywords: what did you do, worst thing youve ever done, worst thing you ever done, worst thing you did, strangers, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: LK-HaLGSAHc

Length: 24min 0sec (1440 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 06 2021