Bullets ricochet off of the wall. Explosions
fill the streets. A soldier is pinned down by the enemy; this could be the end for him. Luckily,
he has his Krummlauf attachment allowing him to fire around any corner. But the weapon jams.
Next, he pulls out his heat ray to fry the enemy, but with a little sunscreen, it is rendered
ineffective. It is time to get the hell out of dodge. The soldier hops in his Rotabuggy, hits
the accelerator, and switches on the propeller system to fly off into the sunset. But like
all of the other weird weapons in his arsenal, this one fails as well. It’s fair
to say that he’s having a bad day. These weapons sound like
something out of a bad spy movie, but each one was constructed and tested
for combat. However, due to design flaws, none of them are still in use. Let’s find out
which weird weapon was the worst of the worst. Since humans could walk there has been
conflict. In the early days of war, elephants were the tanks of the army.
These massive creatures posed a huge problem for generals that needed to be
overcome, so, in the second century BCE, the Romans came up with what they thought was
an ingenious plan to stop enemy elephants in their tracks. In order to do this, they did
something really awful to a bunch of pigs. The Romans knew that elephants didn’t like
hogs. For whatever reason, the fast-moving, squealing animals frightened the large elephants,
causing them to rear up and throw their handlers off of their backs. But the Romans wanted to take
things up a notch. They would cover the pigs in tar and light them on fire. The pigs would then
become a primitive form of antitank missiles. However, this biological flaming missile ended up
being a terrible idea. The pig couldn’t be aimed and it did not last very long before it died.
This meant that when the pigs were released, they ended up running away from the battle
and dying in a smoldering heap without so much as passing by the enemy. There were even
cases where the flaming pigs backfired by running through the ranks of Roman soldiers
setting them on fire instead of the enemy. All in all the flaming pig
missiles were an epic fail. The next weapon didn’t go up in smoke
like the pigs but froze to death instead. Project Habakkuk seemed like such a terrible
idea it’s amazing how far it actually got. The Habakkuk was conceived of by a
British engineer named Geoffrey Pyke during World War II. His idea was to build
an entire aircraft carrier out of pykrete, a mixture of ice and wood pulp. That’s right,
Pyke wanted to construct a Naval ship out of ice. It isn’t hard to guess what problems
led to the failure of this vessel. The Habakkuk was supposed to be a way to launch
aircraft from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean to combat German U-boats. One of the reasons aircraft
carriers were rare during the war was because they required a massive amount of resources. Steel and
other metals were necessary to build tanks, guns, and aircraft, so using them to build giant
ships was not always cost-effective. Pyke proposed making whole ships out of ice to combat
the supply chain problem. The pykrete mixture was around 86 percent water and 14 percent wood
pulp, both of which were plentiful at the time. However, constructing an entire aircraft
carrier out of mostly ice had its problems. A 1,000-ton model was constructed in Canada
to show that the ice ship was a viable option, but they ran into some issues. The most prominent
was that the entire hull began to melt. The pykrete needed to be kept around zero degrees
Fahrenheit, which was much more easily said than done. The air temperature rarely was that low, and
the water temperature was never that cold. This meant the engineers needed to develop a way to
install air conditioning systems across the ship. Clearly, this wouldn’t be cost-effective and also led to hundreds of other problems. It became
clear that an aircraft carrier made out of ice would not be the future of the Royal Navy.
The entire project was deemed a failure, and the British continued to build
steel ships the old-fashioned way. But the Habakkuk was not the only
embarrassing failed ship in military history. Russia also created a strange-looking
vessel that was a complete disaster. The Novgorod was a circular ship that
looked like a giant floating dinner plate. The Russians thought it was a brilliant design,
but they would soon come to find it was a big, round mistake. The hull was just over a
hundred feet in diameter and was mounted with large guns that could be used
to defend the ship or fire onto land. A few years after its completion, the Novgorod
was put to the test during the Russo-Turkish War of 1877 and 1878. The Novgorod was sent down
the Danube river to aid in battle. However, when it unleashed its cannons, something
embarrassing happened. The turrets on the vessel were placed on turntables so that they
could be adjusted to aim at different targets. However, due to loose locks, when the cannons
fired they spun around on their turntables and the crew would need to wait for
them to stop spinning before reorienting and firing again. This would later be fixed
by reinforcing the locking mechanism but it was enough to create a persistent myth about how
the entire ship would rotate whenever it fired. Its circular shape also made the Novgorod
bulky and extremely hard to maneuver. This meant it needed to move slowly, and by
the time it was positioned correctly, the battle would already be over. The Russians
got so fed up with the failings of the Novgorod that they decided to tie it up at the dock
and just leave it. The circular ship seemed to be more amusing to watch than helpful during
a fight. After the war, the Novgorod was retired. One of the biggest fears for a soldier
is being out in the open during combat. This next failed military device literally
put the soldier in the worst position of all. The VZ-1 Pawnee was a flying platform
that would carry a soldier up into the sky using a helicopter-like propeller
system. The idea seems pretty cool as the soldier would be able to hover in
mid-air. But when you think about it, all the flying platform did was
make the soldier an easy target. The device was developed in the 1950s by Hiller
Helicopters. It had two rotors contained within the platform that allowed it to fly and
hover while a soldier stood on top of the contraption. There were no wings, and the rotor
was fixed, meaning the only way for the soldier to move the VZ-1 Pawnee was by shifting his body
weight from side to side. This could put him in a precarious position as he tried to return fire
at the enemy while controlling the platform.
It also didn’t help that it would only take one
or two direct hits from enemy bullets to damage the device and send the soldier plummeting
to his death. The VZ-1 Pawnee was cool to look at and must have been fun in testing,
but it just didn’t make any sense in combat. This led to the whole thing being scrapped before
anyone was sent flying into battle on them. The VZ-1 was not the only failed flying
contraption of the time, however. In fact, during World War II, the British tried to make a
flying car. But the whole thing ended in disaster. There were no bad ideas when it came to
machines that could defeat the Nazis. However, the designers of the Hafner Rotabuggy
may have taken this sentiment a little too far. The Hafner Rotabuggy was supposed to
be a flying Jeep, which allowed soldiers to cross over rivers, minefields, and enemy
positions with the flick of a switch. The Jeep was equipped with a rotor and tail
fins, giving it some maneuverability but not much. The whole thing weighed a ton meaning
the fuel tank would drain almost instantly, resulting in the craft crashing to the ground.
Also, a Jeep is not the most aerodynamic vehicle, which made controlling it in flight rather
tricky. The whole project was eventually scrapped, and the British decided to use plane-towed
gliders to deliver land vehicles instead. Ready for a dad joke about weird failed
weapons? The Active Denial System was such a horrible idea the military is
in denial that they ever tried it. The Active Denial System was basically a heat
gun used to give enemy soldiers and unruly crowds intense burns. The weapon was built to look
similar to a satellite dish and would focus radiation towards someone as a deterrent. This
would make them incredibly uncomfortable and could cause entire crowds to disperse. The thought was
that the high-frequency waves hitting the person would make them feel like they are in a microwave,
causing burns, nausea, and extreme discomfort. The Active Denial System was built in 2010 and
had a price tag of around $40 million. It lasted about a month in the field and was quickly
recalled—the reason why made the R and D team shake their heads in shame. Instead of causing
massive discomfort to whoever it was aimed at, the heat gun just gave them a slight sunburn.
This might have been beneficial for breaking up crowds of people, but the heat gun would have
very little effect if you shot it at an enemy in battle. In fact, anyone wearing sunscreen
would have barely noticed the heat gun at all, as it would protect them from
the high-frequency waves. Just as a reminder, the Active Denial System
was a weapon designed by the U.S. military, meaning this failed weapon was your tax
dollars at work. But this was nothing compared to the next failed weapon. It
could literally blow off the user's head. Albert Bacon Pratt received patent number
1183492 for a miniature cannon that was mounted onto a helmet. This seemed like a
great idea to Pratt, and he even managed to get others on board. But in hindsight, the
idea of mounting a gun to someone's head is full of problems. The firing mechanism
was ingenious and weird at the same time. In order for the wearer to fire the weapon,
all they needed to do was blow into a tube. The reason Pratt was so gung ho about
the idea was it allowed the wearer to subconsciously aim at their target just by
looking at them. All the soldier needed to do was turn his head and blow. The really
strange thing was that Pratt saw multiple applications for his helmet gun. He claimed
it could also be used in the kitchen. The whole contraption doubled as a cooking pot with
the barrel of the gun being used as a handle. Regardless of how many uses Pratt’s helmet
gun had, there were too many drawbacks to make the gun a feasible option. Pratt
claimed the strong spring that loaded the next round into the barrel counteracted
the recoil of the bullet being fired. However, this might have been over-exaggerated as some
claim the recoil was strong enough to snap the head of its wearer. Also, there was the
problem of jamming. The only way to fix this problem was by taking the entire helmet off the
head and taking it apart. And heaven forbid the round exploded in the chamber; this scenario
would have quickly ended the user’s life. During World War II, the Allies would try
anything they thought might help defeat Hitler, even if it was as crazy as strapping rockets
to the wheels of a giant bomb delivery system. As the Allies prepared to launch an offensive on
the coast of France to reclaim mainland Europe from the Axis powers, the scientists at Britain’s
Directorate of Miscellaneous Weapon Development came up with a crazy idea. They would break down
Hitler’s walls and defenses by ramming 4,000 pounds of explosives connected to two 10-foot-tall
metal wheels. This weapon would be called the Great Panjandrum. The wildest part about the
whole thing is how the wheels would move. In order to get the 4,000 pounds of explosives
moving fast enough to ensure it would reach the wall before being intercepted, the British
scientists attached rockets to the wheels. These rockets would allow the Great
Panjandrum to move at 60 miles per hour. The main problem with this weapon
was that if just one of the rockets failed, the Great Panjandrum would start spinning
in circles or go wildly off course. As the test runs continued, the engineers
believed they could solve the accuracy problem by adding more rockets to compensate
for any that failed. Unfortunately, the rockets started ripping themselves off the
wheels and shooting across the testing field. This happened multiple times, almost killing the
observers of the tests. It was decided the Great Panjandrum would be too much of a liability
in the field of battle and was discarded. Throughout the history of warfare, there
have been a series of delivery methods for dropping bombs. However, there are a
few that you probably never knew existed. In World War II, a surgeon named
Lytle Adams came up with the odd idea of attaching bombs to animals. His
plan was to fasten little bombs to bats and have them infiltrate enemy bases. The
bats would then roost in the buildings, and the timed bomb would go off, bringing
the structure’s roof crumbling down. Bats seemed like the perfect delivery method since they can carry more than their body
weight in cargo, they’re plentiful, and they can be relatively cheap to breed if more
are needed. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was so intrigued by the idea that he gave it
the go-ahead, and the bat bombs were tested. The military collected hundreds of Mexican
free-tailed bats and recruited Louis Fieser—the inventor of napalm—to design the detonation
packs that would be secured to the creatures. As the war progressed United States Command
realized that the bat bombs would work exceptionally well in Japanese cities where
many of the structures were made out of wood, cloth, and paper. This meant that once the bat
bomb detonated, it would not just destroy the structure itself but could cause a fire
to sweep through an entire neighborhood. Luckily for the bats, this project never was
implemented. During a test in Carlsbad, New Mexico, one of the bat bombs got loose and sought
shelter under a fuel tank at the military base. Later that day, the bomb went off, blowing up
the bat and everything else in the vicinity of the fuel tanker. After several failed
training exercises and the deployment of the atomic bombs in Japan, the bats were retired from
military service as they were no longer needed. The Japanese had their own bomb deployment system
that was as big a failure as Adams’ bat bombs. However, it did lead to the only deaths in the
continental U.S. as a result of an enemy weapon. In 1944 the Japanese deployed 9,000 Fu-Gos or
“fire balloons” over the Pacific Ocean. Attached to each balloon were a 35-pound high-explosive
and 8 firebombs. The Japanese military planned for the balloons to float along the jet
stream until they reached the coast of the United States where they would descend and
detonate. The ideal situation for the Japanese would have been the Fu-Gos creating massive
wildfires sending the West Coast into chaos. The crazy thing is that around 389
balloons made it to the United States, which is a small number compared to the amount
launched, but still not insignificant. When the balloons landed, almost all of them failed
to detonate or cause any damage. In fact, two of the Fu-Gos actually floated back
to Japan and fell on their own island. Sadly, one Fu-Gos did find its way to Oregon,
where it fell to the forest floor. Five kids and a pregnant Sunday-school teacher came across the
Japanese bombs right as they went off. Everyone in the group was killed, making it the “only place on
the American continent where death resulted from enemy action in World War II.” However, killing
five kids, a Sunday-school teacher, and her unborn baby was not the outcome that the Japanese had
hoped for with their 9,000 fire balloons. They were quickly retired as failed weapons, and a year
later, Japan surrendered, ending World War II. The weird Nazi weapon called a Windkanal literally
blew so bad that it was deemed an utter failure. WindKanone translates to wind canon in English
and wasn’t one of the Nazi’s brightest ideas. The way the cannon was supposed to work was
rather simple. The 35-foot long metal tube would be filled with a mixture of hydrogen and
ammonium and ignited. This would build up immense pressure inside of the tube that, when released,
would send a shockwave of air up into the sky. The hope for the Nazis was that the
shockwave would hit Allied planes overhead and knock them out of the sky.
In trials, the WindKanone seemed promising as it could snap wooden planks from 650 feet
away. However, when aimed at airplanes moving hundreds of miles per hour in the sky, the
wind cannon quickly became less effective. Even though on bombing runs,
planes dipped as low as 500 feet, the wind cannons shockwave would barely register
as more than slight turbulence to the pilots. The compressed air didn’t seem to bother the metal
airplanes that were built to withstand different pressures and choppy air while flying. Because of
this failure, the Nazis decided to repurpose the WindKanone and use it on the ground to push away
ground forces. But this too ended in disaster. The weapon was so large that it was easily
spotted from the air. This made it a perfect target for bombing runs or artillery strikes
which would have devastating consequences. The WindKanone was such a failure that the
Allies didn’t even know what the contraption was supposed to be used for until they stumbled
across one at a Nazi training facility in 1945. It was there that Allied intelligence
got a closer look at the WindKanone and finally realized what the
purpose of the failed weapon. The Germans also developed a weapon
with an easily identifiable purpose. The Krummlauf was a machine gun with a slight
twist. That twist just happened to be in the barrel. The Krummlauf was a barrel attachment to
the Sturmgewehr 44 machine gun. It was supposed to allow a soldier to shoot around corners without
exposing himself to enemy fire. The Krummlauf was also designed to be used by soldiers
in tanks. They could stick their Krummlauf out of small holes and fire their gun to
fend off enemies placing mines in their path or armed with anti-tank weapons. This
may have seemed like a good idea, but the weapon came with all sorts of problems. It should come as no surprise that the barrel
did not last long as every time the gun was shot, it had to take the full force of a bullet
and change its trajectory. This put enormous amounts of strain on the Krummlauf and even caused
bullets to shatter on their way out of the muzzle. The shattered bullet would send tiny shards
of shrapnel in all directions making the gun inaccurate and dangerous to friendly
soldiers standing nearby. The Krummlauf did not see much combat and was melted down
to be repurposed into more useful weapons. And speaking of dangerous projectiles, one United States company manufactured a rifle
called the Gyrojet that fired mini-missiles. In 1960 a company called MBAssociates
developed the Gyrojet to help soldiers hit targets from long distances. The plan was
to use projectiles equipped with tiny rockets and a gyroscope to help them maintain their
trajectory and course. Once fired, the miniature missile’s microjets would kick on, allowing it
to accelerate and adjust for wind and gravity. This seemed like a great idea that would make
snipers’ lives much easier, but the weapon ran into all sorts of problems. Since the projectile’s
rockets only kicked in once it left the gun, the Gyrojet was pretty useless at close
range—unless it was used as a club. The intricacies that allowed the gun to
fire without blowing up required a lot of moving parts that jammed frequently. This
meant the Gyrojet was incredibly unreliable, which is not what a soldier
wants in their weapons. In the 1950s, the U.S. military thought they were
onto something special when they developed a plane that took off straight up into the air like a
helicopter. The Tailsitter would be a failure but would pave the way for other successful
aircraft like the Harrier jet in the future. The Tailsitter was designed in the 1950s by the
Navy to fix the problem of airplanes taking off and landing without much runway to work with.
They did the best they could with the technology available to them. The Tailsitter was a tiny
plane with a complex propeller on the front, which allowed it to take off and land vertically,
thus eliminating the need for a runway. However, these planes ran into all sorts of
problems. Even the most skilled pilots found landing incredibly difficult. Taking off and then
moving the aircraft into a horizontal position wasn’t quite as bad. But when it came time to put
the Tailsitter back down on the landing platform, the plane would often tip over. Other times the
pilot would not be able to slow down fast enough, and the back of the aircraft became
damaged as it impacted the ground. The military eventually gave up on the Tailsitter,
and it was deemed a failure. To be fair, the idea for vertical take-off never totally
disappeared, and although the Tailsitter never made it to the front lines, many other
aircraft based on the same premise have. One Cold War weapon was not only a bad
idea but had a terrible name as well. The United States military came up with a
satellite that would shoot enemy missiles out of the sky by launching bowling ball-sized
pieces of tungsten at them. The unfortunate name given to this weapon was Brilliant
Pebbles. It seems like the Strategic Defense Initiative could have come up with something
slightly better or a little more ominous than Brilliant Pebbles for their space-based
weapon, but that is what they went with. Brilliant Pebbles was supposed to work by
launching a series of satellites into space with several projectiles aboard each.
These projectiles could then be shot out of the satellite to intercept enemy
missiles flying through the atmosphere. It is unclear what made the researchers think
this was a good idea, or that it would even work, but they continued to roll with it. In
order for Brilliant Pebbles to have any chance of succeeding, there needed to
be at least 4,000 of them in orbit. This would cost astronomical amounts of money
for weapons that would most likely miss their targets almost every time. After a good long
look at the program, the U.S. military scrapped the idea. It is hard to tell if they were more
embarrassed by the weapon’s failure or its name. A more recent failed weapon was a type of
laser. But this was not just any laser; it was planned to be used while
flying through the sky like an X-Wing. The Flying Laser Canon, also
known as the YAL-1 Airborne Laser, was mounted on the nose of a plane. It made
the aircraft look a little like a dolphin, but that wasn’t the worst part about this
failed weapon. Its primary purpose was to shoot a high-powered beam out of its laser cannon to
destroy any missiles or aircraft in its vicinity. The main problem with the laser was that it
required a massive amount of energy to work. All of this power needed to be produced
by chemical oxygen-iodine laser modules, which are incredibly heavy. The power
supply weighed down the entire plane, causing its fuel efficiency and top speed to
plummet. In the end, the flying laser cannon was more trouble than it was worth, and the
military decided to retire the weapon before it could ever be used for its intended
purpose of blowing things out of the sky. Now watch “Weirdest Military
Weapons They Actually Used in WW1.”
