Weight Loss Journey: Shame and Anxiety| It's Weigh in Wednesday #6 and MEAL PREP time| Losing 200lbs

hey beautiful people welcome to my channel wake up bright where i share all the things that help me live each day a little brighter i'm april lauren and i'm on a journey to lose 200 pounds today i am doing way in wednesday because it's a wednesday and i'm very very excited as always if you look down in the description i have time stamped things out if you guys want to hop around otherwise i am going to meal prep i'm gonna i've already worked out today and then i got ready you know for my close-up um but i did record our workout i recorded some yoga this morning and so i'm going to share that with you guys with some of my thoughts about why i share things like that and yeah everything down in the description and if you want to just cruise along if you're along for the ride and i'll see you right after this hey guys i am so excited to be meal prepping with you guys so i meal prep weirdly ish i got this from another youtuber and i think her name is sarah day i'm not sure i haven't watched a ton of her videos but jenna watches her and you know was like saying stuff about her and the way that she does her food and i watched and i was like oh i really love that and so this especially works good with my carb cycling that i'm doing this month and how i pre-plan it out because i have the the base of everything that i need already made and then i just add to it so what does she do she um makes all the pieces and then anything else that she wants she just adds to it later so that's what i'm doing now so today we're gonna make some chicken i'm gonna make some rice both for my moderate carb day and my high carb day and most importantly for my husband's lunches this week so i am doing two things i am meal prepping for me and then my husband eats and has completely different needs than i do right now so anyway i wonder if i can say that five more times let me get let me just start getting stuff out let's do that [Music] [Music] okay guys so this is everything that i'm gonna pre-prepare so what i'm gonna do with these things so i've got these bananas that i froze and i've got frozen spinach so i i got this i can't remember which youtuber but there's a youtuber and they just had the whole thing of spinach and they just stuck it in the freezer and i love that idea because we eat a lot of salads but i always over buy and then i'm like it's gonna go bad well now when i get close to that where it's gonna go bad i just stick it in the freezer so it's very exciting and like this one i had bought two or three of these and we got i think i bought three we got like one and a half way in and i'm like there's no way so i just stuck this in the freezer then the strawberries so i'm gonna go ahead and pre-portion those out i am the carbs i'm making right now and this are going to be rice and i'm going to make these three potatoes something that i just started doing that i really love is i got i cut up the potatoes and i go ahead well i cook the potatoes i cut them up and then i stick them in the airfryer and it makes them so so good and my husband my husband actually eats them that way i am also gonna throw all these mushrooms on the grill and then these chicken thighs are going on the grill and normally i do not get chicken breast like this this made me really sad it was very expensive well it's not really that expensive it is kind of expensive i normally spend like two bucks a pound on chicken breasts but this is 534 a pound for this chicken breast they were just sold out which is why i haven't already meal prepped this week are you guys running into that issue are your walmarts and grocery stores sold out of stuff i don't understand i got this which i do like because normally i have to like take the mallet thing and tenderize it like make it smooth and small so that it cooks evenly and quickly but this will be nice so let me get all this stuff ready and hopefully by the time i get the rice going it will be time to put the chicken on the grill so let's do that [Music] i'm so happy it's stopped raining so i am gonna use the tracher for my meal prep which is what i do most of the time every single week i cook a lot a lot of chicken breasts so i'm gonna go ahead and turn this bad boy on and yeah let me do that i love this striker and it like while i was doing that it made me think of a few things first i have found a lot of my most favorite things by watching other people on youtube so like i watch nick bear he's the owner of that bear performance nutrition stuff that i showed you guys last time i chippy know i'm obsessed with that in focus stuff it's helping me so much um i mean it's only been a couple days so maybe it's a fluke but i think it's helping me but he also got a tracher and did a bunch of videos on it i don't think his video was sponsored my sure is not sponsored we spent a lot of dollas um this was my husband's birthday present and i think at this point i use it more than he does but he eats the food that i make with it and he makes the best brisket anyway get back to my point so i share things that i like with you guys and not because i think that you have to have it or you should go out and buy it the links that i put in my description i don't want you guys to ever feel compelled like in any sort of way that to be successful on your journey that you need anything um i don't i hope that you don't feel that way and i actually i like shopping too much so i am taking some time off this month from shopping i am not allowed to buy anything that is not grocery related or gas related or like an absolute necessity it has been so hard it has been so hard yesterday i mean like i think i have a problem so i was dropping my husband off and he was telling me about how he has to wear a mask now all of the time so before he only had to wear it when he wasn't at least six feet away from the people in his class but now they have to wear it all day and so i was like oh dude do you need me to order you some more mask from amazon and he's like no you already ordered me match from amazon and i'm like oh and i was like disappointed because i was looking forward to buying something on amazon i'm like i'm terrible i have spent so much money i don't need to i need to total it up and face it like how much money i've spent the last year year and a half on amazon but i don't want to face that number anyway oh this is that speaking of not buying things and cute things but this is that little tea that i got from marley lily but i also keep adding stuff to my marley lily cart and i'm like i'm gonna buy this on september 1st and then i'm like i'll clear my cart and i'll be like this is not the point of not spending money in august but anyway i'm gonna go inside and get that stuff prepped and you guys can come with me [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] i'm a little bit melting so i'm about to go put this stuff on the grill i've got the chicken all prepped you guys saw i put the mushrooms in the tin and um so i'm gonna put that stuff on and i'm gonna go ahead and transition once this stuff goes on the grill to us working out in the gym well yoga and then me and yoona working out and i wanted to share a few things about that but we'll just go ahead and get these things on the grill and i'll talk to you guys in a minute you may be wondering how i have the courage to show myself in the condition i am doing yoga or doing exercise you might be floored that i have the audacity to even exercise the way that i do or you might just be concerned for me and worried about me and wish that i didn't exercise the way that i do and all of those things are okay but i wanted to talk a little bit about why i do the things that i do and i want to backtrack just a little bit first earlier today someone left a comment and it made so much sense to me and i knew i had to touch on this in my video today she said that she had talked to someone before and that person said that shame needs an outlet when you feel shame you need to express it just like when you're angry or you're sad it's an emotion that needs to be expressed in order to get rid of it something to that effect i'm not sure if that's verbatim i can't find the comment or i would post it i i confront myself and this is a recent development in my life if i feel shame i call myself out i call that darkest part of myself that's shaming my very own spirit i call it out i tell my husband my weight i share my most embarrassing and mortifying things with you guys it is it makes me anxious and makes me sad to watch myself do yoga and to watch myself work out but i am not and i have shared this with you before putting off the things that make me happy that make me healthy for some future version of myself i love yoga i love dancing i love love love working out so the reason that i work out like i work out isn't necessarily to get some amazing weight loss results i am increasing my strength and that will help muscle does burn more fat or more calories than fat burns but the real reason is that these are healthy happy habits that i deserve to have in my life and so i will have them and i also think it's an amazing thing to think about looking at video of myself two years from now and comparing it and to where i'm at now just being able to see that journey so clearly and i'm super excited about being able to share that with you guys as well but going back to shame shame is not coming from a positive place [Music] it's not the way [Music] and i implore you to confront in whatever way and however that looks for you i i really don't know what that means for you specifically but i i ask you to consider how you can call yourself back into the light call yourself back into a happy place don't let that dark voice that's in your head shaming you for being you and where you're at make you hide just call it out i don't know if this is helpful or not and you can totally ignore what i'm saying but i and very recently after my whole life up until now am aware of this thing that i do where i hide and i beat myself up with things that cause me shame and i'm not doing that anymore so i with that i'm going to transition into sharing my weight loss wednesday weigh-in wednesday update so like i was saying i really feel the best way to deal with shame if you have a lot of shame is to confront it whatever that means for you maybe it means telling your husband your weight maybe it means making a youtube channel and that's not the only reason why i make i'm making a youtube channel but i facing facing the things that have made me feel shame my entire life is so freeing let's go ahead and move on to my weigh-in this week i am i feel like every week i'm excited and this week is no exception i might be the most excited because i felt really heavy this morning i woke up and i was like uh i bet you're like retaining water and you're gonna be 12 pounds heavy heavier like i was such a punk and then i got on the scale and i was down a little over two pounds so i lost 2.1 pounds i did some translating of like conversions not translating but conversions so i went from 340.5 pounds which is 160-ish kilograms and 25-ish stones to 338.4 pounds 153 kilograms and 24.17 stone so then that was a total loss all together of 14.4 pounds from the beginning and for my highest weight um 6.54 kilograms for my highest weight and 1.03 stone for my highest weight so i'm down a stone this is a very exciting and i am down 14.4 pounds i am very very happy i can't wait to get to 20 pounds i don't know i've told you guys this yet or not but my reward system for myself throughout my weight loss journey i decided i was going to buy myself these earrings what is the brand betsy johnson that's it betsy johnson they um they sell these earrings at department stores and they're these are not betsy johnson these are just from target but i love ear i love i love sunglasses and i love earrings like i love love some bold earrings and some bold sunglasses um anyway i decided that every 20 pounds that i lose i will buy myself one super fun wild and crazy bold and tacky beautiful pair of earrings oh i also i feel like every week i'm telling you guys what i didn't do and so this week i want to explain i feel like every week i'm telling you guys i didn't hit this goal i didn't hit this goal and the reality is is my goal is to lose weight in a way that i can keep it off so every single week i have achieved my goal i set tactics if you will on how i plan to achieve my goal and i use those tactics to propel me forward and i use those tactics also to measure my progress for like non-scale victories and stuff so if i set a goal for 10 000 steps every single day in august and i don't meet that goal and i'm not going to meet that goal this month unfortunately but i work towards it and let's say i walk 10 000 steps 10 days in august that is better than me never having that goal and never hitting 10 000 steps in august it's also better that i'm moving more and i'm losing more weight so the goal is weight loss losing the pounds the goal is to have a baby which i can't control really that can do a lot of things i can do a lot of things to help the baby process along losing weight is the biggest one but i can't control whether i have a baby naturally or not so anyway i just wanted to say that so when i'm talking about things that i fall short i don't always feel like i'm being negative and i hope you guys don't think i'm being negative like what i'm about to say i'm not being i'm not beating myself up i'm also not giving myself a pass so i think those are important things like i i am learning and growing and moving and adjusting like i need to but i'm not adjusting my plan i'm not adjusting the tactics that i set forth for the month in the middle of the month so i don't i hope that makes sense i think i think it probably does it's working for me though and i'm so happy and what i think i'm the most happy i am is that i'm losing these pounds and it's disappointing to me that i'm not losing more pounds this week i'm not disappointed at all i lost two pounds so i'm very happy with that but i've been disappointed with overall loss but i have no anxiety so far about gaining it back in the past i've lost a bunch of weight and then i live with constant anxiety that i'm gonna go off my diet and i'm gonna gain it back or i'm gonna slip up even after years and fall into a bad routine and gain it back like so i am just chippy's under me and i've got some papers down there she just made herself a bed she thinks she's a cat today um anyway i i love the feeling that i have it's a calmness a stillness that i have this weight loss journey and maybe it's not always there but it's pretty much it's pretty close to always being with me like i don't have any doubts i don't doubt myself now i got injured and i had a little hissy fit and and thought some thoughts and was a little bit mean to myself but i worked through it and the reason i was able to work through it is because of the stillness and calmness i feel about achieving my weight loss so i i hope this is helpful it's definitely i think helpful for me to share it which is super selfish but um comment down below if you guys understand what i mean i would also really love it if you have been on a weight loss journey and you have felt what i'm talking about i would i would love to hear a little bit about it and if you also third thing if you have lost a lot of weight and you have kept it off for a long period of time comment down below and share with us how like what are the things that you do to maintain i'm just curious i like i just shared with you guys before i lost a lot of weight i lost well over 100 pounds and i kept it all for years throughout those years i had constant anxiety that i was gonna gain the weight back i was working out four hours a day pretty much so i was doing yoga i was going to the gym i was doing cardio i was doing dance class i was hiking all the time and i love all of those things to me that's a happy life like we already talked about working out but to me that's a happy life but it's not a sustainable life when you have family or like when we have kids i'm not going to be able to focus on myself all of the time like i was at that point in my life and so i just i feel like there has to be something better than losing the weight living with constant anxiety that i'm gonna gain it back which then just reinforces that that cycle where you almost will it to happen where you're binging and or i'm i'm not talking to you i'm talking to me but you know i mean i am talking to you i'm gonna stop um so i don't know i think from when i so alan from every damn day fitness did that video i know a lot of you guys have seen it i'll put it in the description and tag it up top if you haven't there's a lot of path language but he said a lot of kind things i mean while i didn't like 100 agree with every single little thing that he said and he wasn't like 100 positive he was pretty darn positive and he did reach out to me before he did the video but a lot of a lot of you guys told me that you like had watched that video which is really cool and um wanted to know if i had seen it um even my little sister like texted me and she's like did you know and like one of my good friends marco followed me and was like did you know this guy and he was super cool he um sent me a message and he's like i'm gonna do this video and i was like i kind of lost my crap for a minute i was like what no and then i was like well anyone can make a video about anything that they want so i may as well be positive about it and then he surprised me he like asked if i had like a picture i wanted to use for a thumbnail and he even sent me the video before it went live and was like if you have like any big problems with anything that i said like let me know and we'll work through it so he was super he was super awesome so again that video is below but my whole point is that in that video and in all of his videos he talks about like not like he talks and at first it didn't sit right with me when he talked about like my fitness pal and like how i track my calories and he's like you know you can't use that crutch that's not his words that's kind of what i heard um because it's not sustainable when i was like it is sustainable i always do this but the reality is is that no i won't always do that like it's not practical to spend hours of my life doing that like i need a healthy relationship with food and i need to be able to judge what i'm eating and then i need to be able to assess whether i've lost a little bit of control i need to get back to tracking too so anyway i after i've sat with that part a little bit longer it's become clearer to me what i think he was saying so anyway the link is down below and i would love to hear your thoughts on down below on my channel what do you guys think about his video i am making changes for me that work for me i'm evaluating them and i love it when you guys have other input um and other thoughts because i think about them when you guys suggest something i think about it and i think about well maybe that could work for me or maybe that has a lot of validity or maybe i've already done it maybe i've done it and dismissed it and want to reconsider it so i love it when you guys comment and even if it's 100 opposed to what i'm saying i think it's just good discourse it's good conversation to have we don't have to agree um we don't have to agree to support each other or you know anything so let's go get that food i'm gonna put it in the containers and then we're probably gonna be done with this video so i will see you guys at the grill i thought about spending a little bit of time talking about why you should meal prep but really everyone should do what's best for them and their lifestyles but i think i'm gonna save that so the food that i'm making now i will be eating in the full day of eating that i'm gonna have go live on friday so on friday you guys will see me like eat this you'll see me make a smoothie you'll see me eat the chicken it is a a low carb day for me tomorrow and tomorrow is when i'm filming so i won't be eating this or this but next week i plan on doing a moderate carb full day of eating and then the last day i'm gonna do a high carb full day of eating so i'm really excited about the next few weeks in august in my like full day of eating you guys that's like probably the number one requested thing of like fitness or weight loss weight loss related is full days of eating so we're gonna do it trying to eat healthy and sustainably and feed my body appropriately and meal prepping helps me do that and i love this meal prepping in parts that's what i did to combat that last month and it worked so well like i would chop up like red potatoes i'd chop up these potatoes cook them have my meats ready to go and then most of the vegetables that we use i buy frozen anyway so i don't ever pre-do those i do those right before we eat them but i love it it makes me happy the last thing that i want to say before the end of this little video i believe in the little i don't know if it's a mantra the little saying progress over perfection the way i mess myself up is striving for perfection or being like it's very easy i love working out i also talked about that in this video already but i love love it i do that for me i do that because it makes me happy it makes me sad that i can't move and that i can't do things i have to modify everything that stuff makes me sad but the fact that i'm doing it and i'm building that habit and i'm doing that at the same time that i'm eating so healthy it just i feel good and yeah that's gonna wrap up this video anyway thank you guys so much for watching thank you so much for all of your encouraging words i hope that today is a bright day for you guys and i'll see you next time [Music] you

Channel: April Lauren

Views: 73,999

Rating: 4.9691081 out of 5

Keywords: weight loss journey, weigh in Wednesday, Shame, Anxiety and Weight Loss, MEAL PREP, Losing 200lbs, how much weight can I lose in a month, starting my weight loss journey, losing 200 lbs, why I am fat, weight loss, how to lose weight, slow and steady weight loss, watch me shrink, lose weight with me, fat to fit, how to get fit, how to lose fat, obese female, losing weight, Shame anxiety and weight loss, wake up bright, April Lauren, Sarah day, BPN, Jenna Pellikka

Id: EvGneAtKpzc

Length: 31min 24sec (1884 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 12 2020