WEDDING STORY TIME Q&A // DR. BERRY & NEISHA

[Music] uh [Music] hey guys welcome back to my channel today we're going to do a fun video it is currently on this day november 7 2020 our fifth wedding anniversary so i thought we'd do a sweet little love relationship q a i got all of these questions from instagram so if you don't follow me on instagram go follow me because when i do q and a's that's always where i get them from and you i mean you guys know who this is but let me just say this is kidberry the one the only infamous notorious et cetera the notorious kdb yeah yeah okay all right so we're gonna get into the questions you guys sent me some amazing questions so thank you if you're one of the ones who sent questions they're really good i'm a little nervous i haven't vetted these questions they're good no they're good good isn't good or good as in good yeah yeah okay so this is a good one we're starting off with so this is mainly for me but you can chime in too was it ever hard to be accepted by his kids and or deal with exes um the kids we pretty much have always had really good relationships but i came into their life right as they were into their teams so i think abby was 12. morgan was 13 and madison was 13. three three teenage girls they were stair stair-step teenage girls and so obviously that we had you know normal teenager stuff but although on the whole we have a really good relationship and pretty much always have so yeah the girls have been fine and jonathan's an adult so he's just like my buddy yeah and the exes um i mean there was drama but on the whole i didn't have to really deal with that he'd been divorced from the exes for years almost a decade and then the other one longer than that and so this is a lot of time between me and these women but you know anytime an another woman comes into your kid's life there's always tension and i understood that and for the most part it was civil so yeah it wasn't mostly mostly yeah it could have been way worse for sure happy anniversary thank you um sarah said precious love your dress how did y'all meet so we have a whole video on how we met so i'll link that up here for you guys and in the description um because it's kind of a long story but my dress actually um i bought on clearance from macy's i think it was like 150 yep very expensive yeah i knew exactly what i wanted i wanted a vintage color gatsby feel that kind of thing and it just so happened that macy's had this dress on the clearance rack and it fit me so yeah how we met and how we got together is a fairly interesting story you probably want to watch that video but it's funny looking back now how we were almost in orbit of each other years before we actually started talking and dating like we we live we lived seven minutes from each other seven miles up the road uh we never interacted we never talked but we were always kind of aware of each other on social media and then i had to stalk her on facebook for about six months to get her to talk to me and i i wasn't proud of that then but i'm very proud of that now well well done got any tips for doing keto together as a couple i'll let you take that one well i think you can add something to that too first of all be very patient and understanding um many people think keto is some weird trendy fad sciencey uh dangerous diets and if if your spouse thinks that currently then definitely no nagging no no bitching no moaning none of that stuff not because if you've been married long enough and you're a good spouse you know none of that stuff helps anyway uh leading by example you feeling better both physically and mentally is going to if your spouse pays attention to all they're going to notice that they're going to be like wow what's what's up with you why are you you're happy you're on the go you're leaving me behind what are you doing and when your spouse says something like that then it's time to say well i've been doing keto you may have noticed and i'd love it if you do with me too i feel so much better but i think it all needs to come from love and you're you're wanting to help them be healthier you're not trying to force something on your spouse but a lot of people get so gung-ho because keto is almost magical for many people and they they become proselytes right they're just like no damn it you've got to do this and it comes across as a little preachy and a little pushy and they're not meaning it that way but that's how it comes across if the other spouse not ready yeah that's that's basically what we did he did it first i think he did it for a year before i did it and then at some point i was like hmm i am gaining weight and you are losing weight and i feel like crap and you're a mover and a this is bull crap and so i started lazy dirty keto i had a lot of cheat days but eventually i i just took it on i think most people the more they do it the more they're like clean yeah most people start off with the dirty lazy and that's what you have to learn as you go yeah it's a process how long have you been married yes on three one two three five years cinco anos and we've been together how long does it feel like to you that we can really but in a good way it feels oh yeah but because we've done a lot because a lot has happened in the time we've been together and also i just like i feel like my life didn't even start until we were together i feel that way you know what i mean i don't know if that makes any sense but that's how i feel yeah when it comes to a romantic relationship i didn't even know what that meant before i met you i thought it was uh yeah i was way off base i was i was under this impression that it needed to be passionate and passion meant fighting all the time lots of fights and broken things and that if you didn't fight and you weren't passionate then you truly love each other look that's passion without compassion makes for a great ex-spouse that's what that makes for yeah and a good movie yes an excellent movie that you'll watch and you'll think oh okay that's how you do it but yeah the compassion to passion ratio has got to be right or you are doomed yeah unpopular opinion the notebook is the dumbest romantic movie ever don't do anything that she did in that video and really don't do anything he did either well bless him he deserved better well he should have told her to go jump off the pier yes long long early in the relationship yeah the notebook is not a good and that was a tutorial relationship and i hate that so many people you're gonna get some i know well i posted that on instagram not the long one had a lot of people be like no i totally think that too so i feel like if you think that is true love then you've never experienced true love 100 yeah yeah high five how old are you guys this is a question we get all the time all the time so tell the truth 34 but i'll be 35 in february and i'm 51 will be 52 in december yeah and this is a question that was asked multiple times and then someone said how big is the age difference it's 17 in significant years because i was still a an adult child when she met me and so i'm just now becoming an adult and acting like a grown man ought to act so really i'm much younger than my chronological age and i'm i'm a little bit you're very much an old soul yeah yeah so we kind of are the same age yeah sometimes she's trying to slow me down she's like can't you just act your age and i'm like hell no i'm never gonna do that but it's only because of beckon i need you to settle down because he's on 100 too this is another one that was asked multiple times do you want more children or and did you both like being an only child i can remember when i was four or five years old being out in the front yard at granny's house praying and crying walking around crying and praying that that i could have a little brother making it like a deal with the creator like you i don't follow anything well i just you know i wanted my my dad to to have a little brother and i finally got that and it worked out pretty good yeah so technically ken is not an only child however he wasn't raised with his siblings he was raised by his grandma so effectively effectively he was an only child because he was raised in a household where he was the only child and granny barry was his mom by professor but i never ever ever wanted a brother or sister i completely adored being the center of attention all the time with my parents and i probably would have been the kid that was mad as hell you'd have been a mean big sister yeah i would not have no unless i had a twin like that was the only way if i had had a twin awesome but some like younger probably not however to answer your question about how many kids are we're gonna have like we have five already so maybe one more four did not come out of maybe two this girl but i mean they're mine so one or two more see he keeps saying this stuff maybe one more we're still talking about it but not with compassion not passion yeah not if it happens fine if it doesn't happen also fine because i did have to go through robby you have to get pregnant the first time so who knows we'll see how much in love are you two [Music] i don't know how to put that into words do you i'm still discovering how much i'm in love with nisha uh before we met i i used to read books about love and try to figure out how you're supposed to act and what it actually is and was in several relationships that i thought were love but looking back now they were flimsy flopsy uh practice trials of of love and every day i discover a new way that i love her and a thing that she does or does not do that i love about her and it's it's it's weird that it that the love can just be seemingly infinite just keep growing and growing you're gonna make me cry uh if you cry i cry don't do it but it i've never experienced this before ever in my life yeah yeah i think both of us had very superficial love that looked like love so that's what we put it in that we labeled it at that but now that we have we have been together it's like i can consciously i remember consciously thinking that was not love yeah that was crazy yeah i look back and i'm like okay yeah i don't know what that was so we're that much in love that is it does that help yeah what kind of flowers did you have in your bouquet i had sunflowers they were gorgeous actually all of my flowers were sunflowers except for the decor they were yellow roses but i love sunflowers and we had a fall wedding and then we'll have to grow some on the farm we will for sure how long did it take for you to realize that doc isn't so bad after all yeah you remember in the beginning this was literally the movie beauty and the beast yeah i was trying to be nice but didn't really know how and she was trying to avoid me hate me and and block me but at the same time felt this weird little attraction yeah i mean just go watch the animated disney meeting the beast that's that's because when the real life beauty the beast came i made him go watch it with me which he was he actually didn't mind it because he was it was really well done first of all and there's so much in that movie that actually applies to us like little town full of little people like you think she just means tiny people no she needs little people yeah small time anyways it's a great movie and yeah so anyways that movie applauds us we watch it even when he doesn't want to watch it he ends up watching it to answer your question how long did it take two years yeah no two years after we've been together about five years she was i was like you know it was coming up on our little you know anniversary where we met and uh she's like yeah we've been together like three years now and i'm like no more like five and it took her a minute to wrap her head around that because in her mind even though we were together we were totally together she's like oh we're not we're not a couple we're not together i'm just we're friends we just hang out we weren't friends i was not your girlfriend i did nobody asked me to be your girlfriend and he introduced me one time as his fiance and he had not proposed and i told him oh no you don't get to call me that because i don't see a ring you didn't put in the work boy yeah i was mad i was like don't ever do that again i so yeah two years we were friends we were we were friends for six months-ish then we were dating and then we got engaged right before i started nursing school and then we were engaged for two years because i refused to get married i would not set a date and then i was at my labor and delivery job and the girl was making up the schedule for the next month and she said do you need any days off next month i'll make enough schedule and i said because we had set a date but it was like we just we said it and then forgot about it no like it wasn't at the top of our to-do list yeah we both we're not trying to rush into getting married because of our experiences in the past yeah it was really weird because it was like i don't want to get married again that was not fun but then i'm like but this cat though i think this might be the one i should marry and it was just total warfare was it like that for you too like yeah i really love her and i want to marry her but the past the past we and yeah and we fought a lot in the beginning yeah a lot we were both i think and i think that's because neither one of us were going to compromise on certain points we had just that's a no deal if this is not going to happen we both did this but you more than i you would set a boundary but then you would move that boundary up even further maybe just to make sure i didn't get to the boundary you actually wanted to be said yes i think that's accurate yeah anyways we got past that thank god but yeah two years we were engaged and i told the girl well i'm supposed to get married and no on november 7th that she said you didn't tell anybody yeah i know well what's your dress look like i said i don't have one she said nisha that's in three weeks i said yeah i know well do you have a caterer no do you have anything no i planned our wedding in three weeks uh we had a very small guest list i think there was probably 35 people there we did uh potluck so everybody brought a dish so we had plenty of food and we didn't have to clean up ken made our wedding cake it was a cheesecake it was a paleo cheesecake because we were paleo then you can tell in the pictures we're both a little chunky here yeah yeah and we got married in our backyard under our trees the ken had carved in that's a sad story yeah let's tell that story just tell them how honored you are i don't have really bad hashimoto's during the first of our relationship and i didn't know it i just know something was wrong anyways he carved these really sweet sayings i'll put a picture up so you guys can see into these two trees where we were gonna get married underneath and for two weeks he tried to get me to walk in the woods with him and i kept telling him no it's like let's go for a walk you want to go for a walk no no why would i want to go for a walk i didn't want to do anything anyways finally he was like stuff in a dream so anyways i felt really bad anyways rightfully so it was yes i was super wrong so we got married under those trees in the fall it was beautiful i was barefoot he had just a suit from men's what was it men's warehouse yeah yeah yeah and we were bound in the woods getting to that part my cousin and one of her buddies played fiddle so we had fiddle players and she played um i think phantom of the opera and like several other songs that we really like and then yeah for our you know people a lot of candle the unity candle we did a binding which is like an old irish or celtic tradition where they tie your wrists together i'll put a picture in here too so you guys can see that and yeah it was super simple no fluff no fuss um i didn't even wear shoes so it was really simple but it was my favorite wedding and but i've only had one other one but you've had it for you yeah by four it was really just about us which i think um there's nothing wrong with having a big wedding if you want to do that whatever it's your life but i felt like it was more about what was it was supposed to be about there wasn't a whole lot of extra stuff going on it was just oh we're getting married i didn't have bridesmaids the girls were my bridesmaids so they were all maids of honor and jonathan was best man but they didn't like staying up there wasn't formal at all it was very casual and we wrote our own vows yeah it was good that's good everybody had fun we drank and our grandparents were there and we had tons of food none of it was keto because we were not keto them but it was delicious no question but i admire how you both support each other's journey yet are also on your own inspiring thank you thanks fights do you guys fight who gets more heated and who gives in i'll let you start off with that we i i don't know how to break this but we almost never fight like we used to oh yeah back in the beginning but once we got to know each other and got to trust each other uh i mean we might have a little tip for a little misunderstanding but as far as a when's the last time we had a knock-down drag out fight like where i didn't talk to you for a long time yeah that's been three years two and a half three just doesn't happen i mean we literally finish each other's sandwiches i mean sentences and i i just know what she needs and i know what i should say and what i shouldn't say and and i think she's very very intuitive in that respect and if i i can tell she's having a bad day and so i try not to be an ass and vice versa and that that goes so far towards just getting rid of the dumb fights yeah well we communicate much better than we did in the beginning like i'm able to be like look i need some space back off and he is he doesn't take it personally he's just like okay here's your face and we have really good sense of humor so we let stuff roll off our backs pretty much if one of us is a douche for a second we're like oh yeah and another thing that really helped us early on we're both hard-headed and stubborn and pretty smart so we kind of know what we're talking about so for speaking we probably know what we're talking about but very early it was it was odd when the first time it happened uh we were arguing about something and she she said something and i was like that's a good point now you're right about that and just that that kind of killed the argument and but then it would happen mutually it happened the other way too she'd be like no that's you're right that's a good point yeah and and just that ability in mid fight mid anger to just be able to say uh that's a good point yeah i do do that yeah yeah we've kind of figured out that winning doesn't mean winning the argument that's excellent well said yeah yeah because we want to win i don't care if i win the argument because i don't think there's a prize for that no yeah yeah so our our win is that we survive another day together and we're both happy come through stronger yeah yeah so yeah also we've been tested and i think you think i think when you've been tested as many times when we've been tested and i don't even mean just the stuff you guys know about i mean the other stuff too there's a lot happen that y'all didn't even know about when you're tested that much you get to the point where the little things they just don't matter when are you having more babies where are you talking about that how do you keep the spark in your marriage with both being so busy how do we do that i think we're just conscious of the fact that it's it's part of the deal you know and if like we have to keep up both of our ends of the deal or one of us gets shafted and that's not fair and so even just taking the time to like listen to him talk about something that i don't give a crap about and pretend to be semi-interesting yes yeah that keeps the spark alive because then he feels like i listen to him and i cared about what he says which generally i do but there are some days when i'm like you have told me this 25 times yes i know about greg judy there you go greg there's your plug one thing well i i think that there are a lot of couples out there who either a don't really know each other or b they just really don't like major uh structural parts of their partner and that leads to problems yeah you have to really know each other and let me just tell you man if you're listening if you think you know everything about your wife you don't okay you you definitely don't uh it's a it's a constant discovery well because people change well people change but but women are like onions not only do they make you cry but they have many layers and i just did that right yeah but and i think you gotta really try to know your partner you gotta that takes efforts and some days you and then the things you'd rather not know or the things you'd rather not acknowledge that's part of them i mean that may be part of their literal foundation as a as a personality you can't ignore that and you can't not like that if you're going to spend your life with that person and i think that that keeps the spark alive knowing that there's no surprises there's nothing going to pop up out of the woodwork that you know we like so many of the same things that it just it makes it makes the spark kind of um ever ever burning i was going to say we have a what's that thing called in the like a pilot we got a pilot it just keeps it going at all times yeah yeah and so she can be super busy on a project same for me but as soon as we're back together it's like oh yeah there you are well we don't feel like we neglect each other because we know that at the end of that then we get to be with each other again i don't know we vote we time manage pretty well yeah it's pretty good next getaway if you could go with no kiddo just the two of you she would want to go to rome yes and i would go literally anywhere at this point yeah anywhere yeah here's a good one what has kept your relationship strong during hard times when it feels like the world is against you um we both kind of have worked on over the years being um emotionally responsible with how we let the people that aren't in our relationship affect our relationship yeah so yeah we've had a few people kind of try to come in and cause some splitting or cause some drama and it doesn't go well for them well not even that but just people talk when we well you know we go back and forth to the small town but living in a small town people it doesn't matter if it's true or if it's not true it's true if they're saying it and so literally i was getting i got fed so much stuff and at the end of the day it's like am i gonna let am i gonna divorce him over this and if the answer is no then what's the point in me spending time mulling over the things that people say because at the end of the day i we took and i know this is ironic i know that i'm fixing to say this we took vows seriously this time yeah i mean i took them this seriously the first time i was in a really awful relationship i should have left a long time before i did but this time because we were friends in the beginning like that sustains us through the ups and the downs i think i agree so yeah miserable people in general want everyone else to be miserable and i think we're both acutely aware of that and so when when somebody would tell her something or me something we would just kind of take that with a grain of red miserable salt and say hmm okay thanks for the information but we didn't necessarily just become enraged and fully convinced that that was true i mean i did a few times so yeah yeah early on early yeah but then we would just talk it out and either i would fess up or i would say yeah that's that's bullcrap here's the thing when you are in a marriage that is actually for the long haul and you take it seriously it doesn't matter what happens you have to forgive that person anyways because it says till death do his part good the bad sickness health all that like i take that very seriously so the only way that he and i will be separated is if someone kills me or someone kills him or we die whatever that's how it's going do you agree 100 yeah i mean what can i do that you would be like i'm done with you nothing because there's nothing that you would do yeah that would approach that level so it's just yeah no it's just not even at all i think a lot of people don't take take it for the long haul they think and i did that too i thought well i can always get divorced but i don't want that for beckett or us i think that marriage is for life and when you can get along like we get along then it seems super realistic that that's what's going to happen yeah no desire to trade you in that's good hardest challenge you've overcome together 2019. the fires i guess 2019 yeah yeah we had fires that were within what five months back to back we lost the office and then we lost our home and but it was all i as if that wasn't enough we had a lot of scrutiny between all that but yeah you can hear about that in another video yeah you guys don't even look like the same couple in your wedding pictures right yeah i was i was a fat ass back then i had this thing you weren't i mean you were pretty chunky yeah uh who made the first move who's most annoying yeah 100 on both if you guys could see him 24 7 he's the biggest goofball ever ever and i can't catch him on film because he knows when i'm filming and he don't act that way i have to i'm gonna have to set up a camera i don't really know what she's talking about is doctor very interested in fashion and decorating no he appreciates that i do it yeah but i have a good eye don't pretty good a good eye but it's not something that consumes a lot of my conscious time how long before you knew each other was the one are you going to go for i i mean i'm i am the weaker partner i was like yep i think this one will do right here and uh early on i had strong inclination that this might be the real deal but as i said earlier i had all that past garbage and baggage that i was like dude you can't even make the decisions what do you how do you think you know this time and you did obviously didn't know the other time and uh so but i suspected very very early on that this might be the real deal two years i'm just honest i was honest with him too he said i love you a long time before i set it back yep i was like and i said i know you're not ready yet that's okay you you said love you bye and i said no he was like oh he said i love you in a text message one time i said you have to stop saying that to me how did dr barry propose hmm on bended knee yeah that's it that's your story yeah that's it very entertaining now paint the rest of it um okay so he ordered my ring off at etsy it's a aquamarine with a halo around it i would show it to you but it was in the house fire along with my wedding dress and a thousand other things and her vows yeah so that's nice um yeah so we ordered my ring off etsy he was going to propose to me at my celebratory dinner i had with all my friends because i just got into nursing school and they were kind of like seeing me off to rn the rn program the ring didn't come in in time and i thought he was going to propose to me then and then it didn't happen and i was like and so i mold it over for a week and finally i came in the kitchen one day and i was like are you gonna ask me to marry you and he was like this is from the woman who you know we're not even dating and she suddenly wants to know very good at reading people in situations and knowing what's going to happen and so the fact that it didn't happen the way i thought it was going to happen bothered me and so i thought well he's not going to do it and i just need to know like are you going to do this or not so i can stop thinking about it maybe that was part of the plan whatever anyways so he fessed up and he was like yeah i was gonna do it but the ring didn't come in and so then the ring came in but i didn't i don't remember did you tell me the ring came in or did i just guess i think you guessed or maybe you opened the package when you weren't supposed to no that didn't that would have could totally happen that's not what happened i would remember that anyways hey we woke up and it was memorial day or labor day i can't remember whichever one's in may i never couldn't remember that and he said what do you want to do today and i said i want to get engaged and so we went we had a barbecue to go to and on the way to barbecue we stopped at the clinic and while we were in the clinic he was at the fish tank and he said come here and i walked up to the fish tank and he had the ring and he got down on the knee and he was like blah blah blah will you marry me yeah i don't remember exactly what you said but this was my answer do you remember what i said um yes no that's not what i said i said are you sure yeah true then you said yes yeah yeah and that's how it happened what has changed about dr barry's relationship dr barry relationship-wise since he lost the excess weight he is a much nicer person he is more even-tempered and like very laid-back before he was kind of a turd yeah and i thought back then looking back i thought well that anger and being kind of an ass that's just that's just who i am your brand yeah that's my brand i'm this doctor and but looking back now i think a ton of it was just an inflammation and misery and and stiff achy fatigue and that'll make anybody crotchety yeah yeah and so i feel so much better i mean i don't have anything to be irritable about really and that that makes it easier to be nicer yeah that's the main difference he's stopped growing up a little well we both have we had to and we had a baby too along the way we did yeah that's the best and biggest change it's a little bee he's pretty cool he is he keeps us in line too because we both are very anti fight in front of the kid yeah i will and that's not to say i'm not judging people who do that but um for us and our history that's just something um i just don't think is helpful yeah i don't think that will ever happen no i don't think anyone of us will ever let that happen no maybe i mean we might have a little quiet disagreement but as far as a full-blown fight no no no yeah no even when we were first dating we would have our big fights and if the girls were around we totally muted it until they were there was like one time one time when i could not hold it back one time because i remember i think it was something really stupid but that was when i was really sick and had no control over my emotions it was like in my head i was saying shut the up to yourself shut up shut to shut up yes but i couldn't shut up i'm trying to shut up but i cannot yeah and then he would tell me to shut up and that would make me not want to shut up even more but like literally this never happens anymore i know that sounds like bs well we just don't fight but we don't you don't have anything to fight about we're we're just we're so evenly yoked my dad will be very proud of me for saying that that it's just we just agree on so many things that well we're able to agree on so many things but also when we don't agree we're able to see the other side to the point where like okay i get where you want to do it that way so it's fine yeah yeah because never is it like not only do i disagree with you but i have no id damn idea why you think that because and i think that goes back to knowing each other really well it's like i understand why she thinks that or why she wants to do that i don't agree but so that that doesn't turn into a huge mirror breaker and understand each other here's what's really crazy you would think that we fought when all this stuff was happening and the hit the fan and that's really we stopped fighting right when i started ivf we for some reason it just kind of happened we were like yeah this is stupid and we just kind of grew up together and i think if we hadn't been in that place before everything happened it could have broke us 100 but we didn't we didn't fight that entire time and we could i mean there's so many things blowing up in our faces that we could i could have pointed my finger in him or he could have pointed his finger at me and like we could have went at each other because when thing bad things happen you usually go after the person closest to you because where else are you going to go after and that didn't happen at all we pretty much just endured and went through it together yeah yeah but i mean seriously that could break some people oh no doubt yeah well i hope this video was entertaining happy anniversary happy anniversary babe we did it we did it for five years first five well five years married longer than that five just almost almost three years now yeah so anyways yeah this was fun thanks for submitting your questions and good questions yeah yeah guys that's it thanks for watching and make sure you hit that thumb if you love love if you love love show some love show some love and hit that subscribe button and the bell notification button so you don't miss another video just like this one or something totally different maybe even better maybe better see you in the next one let me mean it

Channel: Neisha

Views: 63,858

Keywords: neisha loves it, ken d berry md, ketogenic diet, ken berry, dr ken d berry, neisha berry, dr berry, dr ken berry, neisha loves it youtube, neisha salas berry husband, q & a with my boyfriend, q & a questions for youtube, HUSBAND AND WIFE, relationship goals, relationship advice, relationship clean, marriage story, wedding dress, wedding story, wedding anniversary video, marriage, keto family, keto lifestyle, wellness, health, keto tips, STORY TIME, WEDDING STORY, Q & A

Id: bQ8fI2UoHMo

Length: 39min 13sec (2353 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 08 2020