We Use AI to Write the Best HAI Video Ever (HAI #200)

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Half As Intelligent

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/Darth_Thor 📅︎︎ Dec 10 2020 đź—«︎ replies
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This video was made possible by Hover. Get 10% off your custom domain or email address by going to hover.com/HAI. Oh hey there, loyal HAI viewer, people who fell asleep while YouTube was autoplaying, and data-scraping bots! Good to see, you, come on in. We’re having Check it out! Everyone’s dancing! , lady, , people, , and even, hey look, it’s even , who we actually probably shouldn’t have invited because those skeletons used to be Iraqi civilians. They’re all celebrating because this is the 200th episode of Half as Interesting—that’s right, HAI has made 200 videos, which is the most videos of any YouTube channel ever. In honor of this momentous occasion, we’ve decided that we’re going to break tradition and finally make a good video. In fact, we’re making the ultimate HAI video. But we didn’t want to have to come up with it ourselves, because like, we’re tired, we already wrote 199 of these things. So instead, we decided to do what’s already happening to drivers, accountants, and girlfriends and replace ourselves with robots. So here’s the plan: we feed every title of every Half as Interesting video we’ve ever made into this predictive text algorithm bot, which can then write new titles for us—and I want to be clear, this is not a joke, we are really, 100%, actually doing this. Unfortunately, the bot doesn’t know how to do research, so none of the titles will be grounded in fact, but hey, when has shoddy research ever stopped us before, and so, without further ado, I now present what, according to science, might be the greatest HAI video of all time. Now, at first glance, you might say to yourself “planes aren’t buffalo,” but what do you know, you’re just a hypothetical audience member I made up. So, how are planes buffalo? Well, first off, buffalo live in the plains, and planes fly to and from Buffalo, so take that. Plus, there’s even a specific type of buffalo called the plains bison, which lives in Yellowstone National Park, and actually, maybe there, airplanes are buffalo. You see, the only way that buffalos could be planes is if we lived in a world without rules or laws—and in certain parts of Yellowstone, that’s basically true. Yellowstone National Park is mainly in Wyoming, a state best known for, well, having Yellowstone National Park, but there are also small sections in Idaho and Montana—yet all of it is under the jurisdiction of the US District Court for the District of Wyoming. Now, under the Sixth Amendment, to be convicted of a federal crime, you must be tried before a jury of people who live in both the state and the legal district where the crime was committed, and the trial must take place there too, which means any crime committed in the Idaho section of Yellowstone would have to take place in and be tried in front of jurors who live in the Idaho section of Yellowstone. But… no one lives there. And there are no courthouses there. And there are no Jimmy Johns there, which doesn’t matter for this but is still sad. Furthermore, because Yellowstone is under exclusive federal jurisdiction, crimes can’t be prosecuted under state laws. All of which, some legal scholars argue, means that you cannot be convicted of any crime committed in this 50-square mile area--but no one’s ever tested it, so we don’t know for sure. If you were confused about all the legal jargon, don’t worry: our AI predicts that LegalEagle will do a video about this in a few months. The point is, since there are basically no laws, you could classify a buffalo as a plane and nobody could stop you… and that’s why, at least here, planes are technically buffalo. Here at Half as Interesting, we believe strongly in quantity over quality, and so let’s try out our bot’s second idea: . Well, ah, when a German man and a German woman love each other very much, they kiss each other one time on the cheek and then a baby pops out. At least, that’s what my mom told me. Now, the reason they’re born in Germany is because Germany exists, which it used to not, and it only really does because of an accident. You see, after World War II: 2 World 2 War, Germany was split into East Germany and West Germany, with rival capitals East Berlin and West Berlin, separated by the Berlin Wall, and , separated by Troy Bolton’s bangs. On November 9, 1989, an East German spokesperson named Günter Schabowski was announcing a relatively mild relaxation of travel regulations. He was asked when the change would go into effect, and he had apparently been up late, probably trying to figure out how to spell and pronounce a name like Gunter Schabowski, and so he mistakenly said the travel restrictions would be lifted, “Immediately, without delay.” Actually, they would be lifted the next day, and travel would still require a lengthy visa process, but he didn’t clarify that, so East Berliners started storming the wall, all excited to go to West Berlin, which had cool music and cool fashion and cool not-famine. When they all stormed, the armed guards didn’t know what to do, and so did nothing, and before anyone could get a handle on what was happening, East and West Berliners were celebrating and tearing down the wall and listening to David Hasselhoff sing--which led to East Germany and West Germany getting remarried into just plain Germany, which explains why are humans born in Germany. That one was a bit tough, but I’m sure the bot’s next title will be much easier. Uh…ok. So, I guess, like, why... is it called Iceland? Well, there’s an old myth that explorers named this place, which is relatively green, Iceland, and this place, which is relatively icy, Greenland, to trick people into going to Greenland so the Vikings could have Iceland to themselves… but that’s not actually true—as we all know, the only country named to trick people is Mauritania, which they hoped high people would misread. Iceland’s real name origin is still pretty weird, though: the explorer Flóki Vilgerðarson followed a raven there sometime in the 9th century, he thought the place seemed nice, decided to stay a while, didn’t prep for winter, all his cattle died, and then he got mad and cursed the place as Iceland, and since he later came back and settled there permanently, the name stuck to this day. That’s right—Iceland was named after an insult from a guy who hated it. That would be like naming HAI “Hey Sam We’re Tired Of The Jokes Please Stop Doing Them”... and so I guess, uh, that’s “why Iceland.” Which brings us to our final video, for which we allowed the bot to run as long as it wanted, with no interference, which produced: “ Despite our years of writing and interpreting nonsense for this show, even we weren’t sure what to do with that, so we decided maybe only an AI bot could understand an AI bot. So we handed that sentence to a different algorithm, and asked it to write us a paragraph. And here’s the brilliant content it provided. Why there are illegal the us ' terrible musical flight pass how to make new islands in the us with no territory of land called rory so keep the sun strong and pink green and red (so i'm told because im sure i didnt get all that from a song that isnt on the agenda). Weird but weird. Im lucky i have a twin sister. Okay so, maybe the AI needs a little more work. To be fair, though, predictive text does better the more you give it, and we only gave it one sentence, and that sentence was nonsense. I guess we’ll try again at 300. Maybe you know how to make an AI bot that actually can write us an entire HAI script. If you do, you should make a website for it, maybe something like www.myrobotwritesbetterjokesthansam.com. Well, good news, that domain is available right now on hover.com. Hover is the place to go to get the domain you need for your personal or professional website before someone else comes and snatches it up—which, trust me, is super frustrating when it happens. It’s so cheap, I really would recommend going ahead and grabbing the domain for yourname.com, even if you don’t have a use for it, yet. Plus, for those of you less inclined to stick to the classic coms, nets and orgs, Hover has over 400 domain extensions to choose from, including ones like .space, .casino, .xyz, and .golf. And even if you’re not looking to build a website, you can use Hover to get custom email addresses that look super professional, which I can wholeheartedly endorse since I personally use Hover for my work email. So, for 10% off your next custom domain or email, visit hover.com/hai.
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Channel: Half as Interesting
Views: 581,354
Rating: 4.9139962 out of 5
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Id: wQvJSC8HXX0
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 8min 13sec (493 seconds)
Published: Wed Dec 09 2020
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