We Sold Out The Ace w/ Fahim Anwar | TigerBelly 354 w/ Bobby Lee & Khalyla

[Music] so guys saturday night was a hit success what do you think man that was fun that was so fun honestly that was probably one of my favorite live shows of all time even stand up even like the arenas and did i just say old time man yeah just saying arenas what arena i thought you did like arenas and those like huge like shows like the festivals what arena do you mean you mean the chuckle factory in idaho what do you mean i played 200 200 seat venues what the [ __ ] are you talking about you're not just a sebastian monoskalco dog i was thinking yeah that's about that oh you mistake i get that a lot yeah so yeah man of course you think i'm fluffy bro he's talking about when you do those stacked lineups in those massive theaters like well oh yeah like okay well no yeah they're not those are nightmares those are absolute nightmares yeah this is this was different this was the perfect amount so saturday night guys we played the ace theater in uh la and uh it was how many seats was it do you think sixteen hundred sixteen hundred sold out or no i think sold out say it again [ __ ] yeah man and did we promote it no sold out yeah without bobby's without me i didn't even know about it until day of i really didn't i had no idea because all week you guys all week i've been from 10 11 at night till 10 in the morning or six of them or sometimes seven in the morning i've been shooting that short film so every night i've been just sleeping during that i mean it's been so hard so you guys did everything and i showed up saturday we did a rehearsal and i know that uh freaky over here um was so nervous very anxious dude leading up i was dying well i'll say this i think that you know i'm like terrified of just generally being around people even like one or two people so you can imagine the fear of me just walking in front of like a whole um theater but um i think we did a vip experience before the show that was like an hour i think that was where we just sat with um in our sweatpants with um you know the um some vip fans 25 people like bro like 50 yeah about 50. and that was 25 or 50. so intimate and so fun that it took the nerves out so it actually helped a lot for me to like meet everyone well that was emotional yeah i cried a couple of times because um you know you you walk around going i'm a piece of [ __ ] all the time that's what i do at least in my head it's like you're a piece of [ __ ] you're a piece of [ __ ] and then when you're when you hear people go and you you never know really why people anyone listens to you you know it's like and when they kind of expressed the reasons why it really hit home with me in my heart like oh they're pieces of shits too and when you put you know i mean a bunch of pieces of shits in a in a theory you get a gigantic lump of [ __ ] yeah it's but it's a magical lump of [ __ ] it's a magical glistening lump of [ __ ] outside no longer sleepers no longer papayas yeah magical piles of [ __ ] i mean and um so that was emotional and then you know we want to thank um somebody we had people guest starring not guest starring but doing cameos surprises so we had uh sarah hyland and rudy doing your cameo we had esther esther and andrew santino doing a cameo we had megan traynor thank you so much uh joshua peck thank you so much for um showing up and helping us um they were in the audience and we pulled them up on stage it was fun but like how like you kissed meghan trainor i did you understand that that's because bobby kissed josh peck and i was like wait a second so here's how it went down after megan saw that you had kissed josh she looked at me she's like you better kiss me yeah i was like um wow yeah say no more yeah yeah i'll give you but josh and i didn't do a tongue kiss we did tongue tickles i know you did yeah yeah yeah said i was one of the best because she told me that two or three times afterwards but it turns out i'm a great kisser i'm pretty good myself my point is so josh yeah i kissed him and then um it was just a great night uh i uh i'm gonna do probably more in the future um the suits showed up though the suits wow analyzing you know my reps analyzing the show you know i mean i think that there are ways to cut costs [Laughter] i'm angry right now you are yeah that's the opposite of my pitch to you guys was not happening you know there's ways to cut costs we wouldn't have had a two thousand dollars you would like to know three pages of what you're giving out well here's the thing it's like we could just go on the road and do these like once sit down one one-hour podcast but it's like they they watch us do that every week why would we not put on an actual different show for these hard-working paying well the three thousand dollar bobby butt ceramics worth it worth it how are you going to travel that oh the butt will travel we'll travel they they our other team figured out we'll get it to hawaii that's yeah that's how confident three thousand dollars we've already gone to yeah uk australia uk we already discussed it the butt is traveling to australia we should do australia that was we should do some of our pre-pro meetings talking about the butt you can't we're in canada toronto anywhere yeah goes to the market town town okay that's that's interesting if the butt travels bobby will go but i would love to go to london i would love to go to um australia that'd be nice that'd be dope but can we tell people what it is or no yeah well i mean you could talk about i mean you 69 andrew that's what it is well he's 69 me oh yeah yeah because his dick was on my face i was on the bottom right so he climbed up and he started rubbing his dick on my face i mean and i thought it was a joke and you know what was really sad what was that is that bobby like the night before had hurt his nose on set and he had a really bad bloody nose the day before so andrew's like a heavy dick was just bruising like re-bruising it over and over again so i could see bobby grimacing each time like santino dropped his dick on his face yeah i think it was yeah i think it was this one there it is yeah there we are on top and then oh he actually like thrusted into you he thrusted it yeah what dude it was not it's a salt he's cheating he even put his hand it was assault and then after giving me tongue tickles as well yeah yeah wow yeah um we also want to thank jen rosenstein and all the people that work behind the scenes taking photos dude andrew lopez the opener oh my god that [ __ ] filipino bastard i love him my mom like couldn't breathe she spilled wine on her crotch because of andrew lopez yeah andrew where and it's so funny it's like we took him from somewhere no but but we took him but we did steal him we stole him from jokoy we still [ __ ] you joe you owe me right i stole one of your boys okay but it was so funny because andrew lopez yeah used to work at caa oh right yeah and so matt was like what's he doing here you know man oh he's open to the show and then when he was killing because andrew lopez was what assistant yeah he was he was like mail room assistant mail room assistant yeah and then matt i could see matt watching him going ah pretty good pretty good i'm like oh dude come on man but um maybe the suit shouldn't come from now on wait but i think that adds to the um the layers of fun is that the suits do come to like an uh a [ __ ] show that like wasn't a [ __ ] show no no it was a beautiful [ __ ] show it's not even a [ __ ] you said it was a lump of [ __ ] bob the people are oh the people the product is great we're all lumps of [ __ ] we're all lumps but the product was you know the company that did it uh real good touring really and stella and everybody brandt you know brent and everybody um they really did a good job of it but there was a point though when once we came out kalei and then we sat on the throne there was a point in my mind i'm like i think we could be bombing we're going to bomb here really yeah there was a thought because you thought so yeah because it was before the first game so basically essentially what whatever i was getting laughs before that i don't think you were not here no no i was i was getting laughs too when we were out there right it's only is how is this going to play the games in front of a live audience i can talk and get laughs i can figure that out right but i'm like when i was sitting there and go okay here's the first game is gonna happen and what's that gonna be like in terms of their reaction what can they can see how is it gonna read you guys this was a test show that's basically what but it worked yeah it totally worked but um we didn't know if we were gonna bomb or or if it was gonna actually work out but i think it worked out and the first game started so hot both of your contestants got the answer right in the first guess and the the audience oh can we discuss who won the whole thing so it was a competition between kalila and i and i obviously won i'm gonna win every one i'll tell you why because i'm you know what sucks is that i won every time in rehearsal she really i didn't beat you every time yeah but i think it was so differently yeah but i didn't give my hand you know until you don't give your hand until show time baby you just had great people you know i did have great people on my team shout out to manuel manuel dude manuel he in that first game he got two of the answers correct after one clue and his story was amazing oh i love him i love him so much what was my girl's name um not alicia oh yeah estella stella alicia she was a speech pathologist she was great she was great did i win that round or no i did but but i did and i have a couple of people who kind of will like corroborate and say there was wow conclusions no that was not there was collusion she was great she was great and she doesn't cheat you know who didn't cheat manuel yeah you know who's not a citizen what is velcro what is velcro yeah he didn't know what velcro was that's a suspect but um what else game so after that game it was oh i thought the thing that bombed the most was your stand-up well it was meant to no but what i loved about it i thought it would last i heard laughs i didn't it was all k and gilbert that was in the candidates oh yeah it was what i that's what i call basically it was i heard last night it was you put that laps in that i was feeling so good and then i was like oh yeah the editor added all of these i don't yeah what i call that little segment is called the piss break yeah i mean so next time we go if you guys want to go to the bathroom this is the right time buy some popcorn so basically essentially what we we put out videos between um sketches but games and um so one of the videos that we put out was it's george doing stand-up comedy and they put in they put in canned laughter in the video but that's the only laughter you could hear people and because i looked at the audience and their audi they were just kind of like like like almost as like they you know an alien landed and they're just kind of what what's going on here you know like curiosity but also like uh yeah you know can i report a gripe there's a reddit user who said like hey guys those the videos were so funny that you need to put them on on youtube the uh the korean drama and the pringles commercial you guys need to put those out so i asked him if he was forgetting one and he said no yeah um those two were the two ones yeah those two were great so those two were oh so he went to the show yes and i still got mad at him and argued with him on credit even though he paid money to watch us did you think that was good what your stand up oh it's great no you know what we do next time is you actually do it oh live glass yeah we do it live right and i i'll bring you up right and i'm gonna go legitimately guys do not laugh if it's not funny honestly if it's funny laugh but don't do don't do i cannot i can't i don't do gifts i feel comfortable sweat mustaches thinking yes i'm gonna tell the audience do not you know guess what bobby what since it's a live show i'm going to have our sound guy add canned laughter to it just to screw you for this that would actually be funny that would be funny if he why wouldn't you have a button oh yeah you could do funny you controlled the button and when laughter could happen oh i would i would do the laptop i would do it laughter when it's not supposed to you guys like buses and then he does a punchline silence oh no i wear crickets yes i wanted a qriket we'll give you a stop we'll give you a sound effects box yeah yeah that'd be [ __ ] cool but that was a failure i thought the hit though was um the korean drama yeah we should put that online immediately wait should we let's tour it should we tour it first yeah let's tour it first it's got to be you don't see it live first yeah i'm going to send you a video later of an audience member perspective of watching it it is nuts how much people are laughing at it yeah there was a photo if you saw online of us watching it you know and yeah and andrew turns to me and goes who the [ __ ] directed that and i go our boy me no andreas fancy but gilbert wrote that yeah and the actors yeah dude those were they there they were all there yeah they were all there they were all there they killed it yeah you were amazing i hope you'd someday do some kind of asian schedule and get those people in auditions no they're not they're hired what are you talking about in fact i want to do here's the thing we should do a series of those we should do seriously yeah we should do a korean drama series with those guys we should pay them yeah three minutes and um we should be um we will guest star in it and stuff maybe i don't know but they they were that good i mean it was so good like i want david so to play eric griffin dude yeah so we'll get a actor to play santino yeah we'll get a korean actor to play who else you know be funny a guest star a korean actor played doc could would john cho do it no we how did we find a little weird guy like this i don't know korean yeah that's probably good but anyway thank you so much for coming out with a success and any gripes about it that was fun no i thought that even the things that didn't work as as well like were still fun bobby was right the chaos was part of the show the fun was yeah i think the chaos was the fun part of it all yeah i have one more gripe there was afterwards i was chatting with the suits for like 15 minutes and then i walked downstairs and nobody had told me i still had lipstick on oh no no right before right as soon as i was outside then like right once i came downstairs you were like yeah you have lipstick on and i was like oh from the nose down you look like the joker i was chatting with the suits i mean that's how much you had on that's the most i've ever gotten to chat with suits yeah and it was just smeared lipstick all over my mouth it didn't even hit my lips it was a whole it was over like up to his nose oh and i also i got i'm not kidding you i had a bruise the next day on my cheek do you know why from what joe rogan kissed me when yo at our show or did you guys go yeah yeah yeah i have a bruise on my armpit yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know because joe rogan kissed me there yeah yeah joe rogan so i we went to christina p's birthday party afterwards and segura before so tom segura what a [ __ ] idiot why because because i show up there and he goes hey i want to introduce you to the asians so he would like people that work there he's like this is my asian friend i don't i'm not lacking asian he's like no no this is important he went all throughout the [ __ ] thing people that were working there hey you know my asian so i don't know why he does that but then he did that and then the second thing is i see ali wong and i want to say hi to her but then i saw that shadowy figure there it was joe and he just i thought he was going to headbutt me but he came in for a kiss and i swear to god i had a bruise right here he's a really strong kiss but it was really nice to see joe it was nice to see everyone there at the party but i was only there for a second maybe armpit kiss yeah yeah no he he just came to to say hi but he did give you an underhook it was more like i think it was an attempt at a hug yeah yeah but then event it was really just an underhook and then a fireman's carrier and so and then i put him in a clinch like uh anderson silva rich franklin kind of classic awkward hug it was like a weird like hu it wasn't it was like it was a clinch and we got into a clinch is what happened um but it was but he loves us yeah he was sweet yeah it was fun i love him and we had we had a blast yeah it was like fun it was fun uh but then me and the losers went to uh korean barbecue you guys laughed me and santino were so pissed cause i all of a sudden you were gone well i have two in-cell friends that they're not in cells but they're like my types one of them is esther pavitzka's fiancee he's not an interpreter i know and jean hong it's not that we're in cells i'm just saying that if dave king me and jean hong lived in are you going to cut this out no no i was just if we lived in the most alpha instance i know we're alpha but if we lived in dayton ohio seriously and we were all like working at a lab right it's just that we we decided that we are going to do show biz and we're talented well i'm not saying me i'm just saying yeah i have a talent and um you know we we are able to get girls but but um but we were all at uh augusty and just eating food it was great in cell nation insulin good band-aid yeah yeah it's funny because gene i was like hey gene do you need a plus one for anything he says i don't need a plus one i'm gonna die alone gilbert yeah that's what i'm saying that's my thing he's so happy that's why i love him he's like one of my best friends i love him because we have the same he's the best thing of like you know we're losers but winners too you know he's not no he has more confidence yeah yeah yeah he his crew the people he hangs with is next level i don't want to talk about it but anyway um even david king's next level you know what i mean but um so thank you for everyone thanks guys so we have a guest coming today um his name is anwar faham and uh fixi manual is he here yet [Music] brooklyn usa every day has summer got you feeling sweaty certainly has that's right babes cool down with brook lyndon's 15 off site-wide summer-wide savings event that's right the deals are hot but their sheets towels and beach essentials are breezy i really love brooklyn because brooklyn is the only sheet i mean you know here's the thing dude it's like why do anything that's not the best and brooklyn is the best i'm telling you guys right now these deals are hot and no pun intended oh 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size style and your budget making it the best way to discover clothes that make you look and feel best the best the best plus there's no subscription required you can try once or set automatic deliveries there are no hidden fees ever sign up for stitch fix and get the season's latest pieces for women men and kids children sign up today at stitchfix.com belly to get 20 off your first purchase that's stitchfix.com belly to get 20 off your first purchase limited time offer purchase within two days of sign up your style is so like clean cut it's like everything's just like you know what i mean like standard midwest but like a little extra but i like it like fashion is so much brain power i'm so bad at it i just want to take that guess work out you know i just want to look good enough to figure out what to wear and be stylish to be on the bleeding edge of fashion yeah is so time consuming i want you to be the bleeding edge of that [ __ ] please yeah like you know raw denim you know these t-shirts for me just all right is it clean does it fit well right but can you stop it what's your priority is it comfort or is it like a clean look uh fit comfort and yeah probably fit in comfort for me comfort is number one like i have weird little um stimulus kind of issues like i can't wear wool i can't wear certain things like like tight denim can never be my thing so comfort is number one for bobby i think look is number one or number one because raw denim you would never like that's terrible to wear just feeling wise no but what you don't get there my [ __ ] eastern friend yeah right please educate all right my eastern friend what you don't get is that at first raw denim is stiff right and it's like um cardboard right but once you wear it for a while number one you never wash them they start softening uh-huh and they start kind of contouring to your body yeah right and they just look legit right those [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] you're wearing right now right yeah it's clean they're good to brand yeah right but you guys are forever but you wash them some yeah of course yeah say levi's yeah they're forever that's like uh but there's no stain on them it's so standardized though what i like about levi's okay i you know your cut your number you go to macy's or anywhere you go to macy's dude i'll go to jc penney's dude you go to gc bro don't blow me after jcpenney here's the thing yeah like if you're just look people don't know brands like you can find some pretty cool [ __ ] it's almost like a thrift store elevated because at thrift store you have to find a cool thing jcpenney they just print so much [ __ ] that if you don't care that it's jcpenney you could find some dope [ __ ] can you really tell the difference i can a 200 white tee i can and a high sierra bingo white you can tell he can tell the difference between um like when something is distressed say for instance when it's an intentional distressing or if it's a natural distressing for example he bought these chucks from italy that had been worn by someone for three years and he spent six hundred dollars on them oh okay um and so oh my god when you look at the shoe and then i bought into this idea because he he sold it to me when i looked at the show i was like oh my god luigi has been wearing this yeah luigi doesn't have a polaroid of luigi in them yeah i'm like yeah that's probably i got my foot fungi it's like sponsoring a child like this is luigi he's been wearing your shoes for the last fight but if it's obviously distress and on like let's say um foot locker he's going to be like no that was distressed in the factory and i'm not down with that yeah well like apc which is a they do it's a clothing company store and they have um raw denim as well they used to take their raw denim and pay people to wear them and a year later they would return them and then they would sell the raw denim and i would buy those the problem asked kevin christie is that a real person or a mannequin that's a real human that's a real person or is that how advanced mannequin technology is getting with their those aren't it that's not yeah pre-worn apc soul and i don't know something like that those aren't yeah i have a shark tank idea it's like a boston dynamics robot that wears raw denim yeah that's really cool it goes to like fake indie concerts yeah yeah coachella it's got to go to coachella because of the dirt you have to give it a list of all the things that you would do yeah that is distressed exactly to your liking right i would because that's really good so there's a boston dynamics robot at coffee bean yeah that one's for nick youssef i have a question so for me i think denim really absorbs farts yeah the smell of denim and fart is a very a distinct very um it's something that i can recognize very clearly i think he wants his denim farted on i don't think you want to roll well that's what the robot does the robot can walk they're trying to work the kinks out it's hard to get the human fart technology like ai hasn't reached that point because it'll do pennzoil and stuff but that's like yeah yeah yeah they'll get there though what about the ball sweat isn't that important for raw denim we'll figure that out man elon and i are doing this yeah great would it be if we actually went on shark tank and there's the music and we're like ron denim you want to be broken but humans have to eat and have family yeah yeah yeah robots don't have that obligation yeah we would do that with shirts too like rock teas yeah we'll we'll force them to go to like you know let def leopard concerts you know and and the raw denim we could do both the upper body as well yeah and you'll know it's ready when ai becomes so much that it can like slam other people like their earlier stuff was better like yeah name me one song from that band oh my god this robot's so pretentious it's ready for you to wear yeah so you do you does your girlfriend look at your clothes and like it oh yeah it's not an it's not an issue you should see his place too oh my god it's like they're lost shut up let me [ __ ] finish all right all right you walk into his house and you go how long you've been in the house like three years right house it's like did you just move in here without i paid a decorator so i feel so bad it's so bland and like and so just almost like a serial killer lives there well like somebody kills people in this that lives here yeah so like studies actually show that like a home is where you're not supposed to have bright colors and big bold art it's supposed to be a place of rest and relaxation yes i feel so relaxed look at this place i feel so relaxed there's like a chili's you just have all this you slap anything against the wall yeah so i kind of understand like i i living with him it's just an explosion of color everywhere i go so i think i'm always in a state of anxiety looking at like my bedroom walls but but i think that you're on to something it's this expression of the winner the better no that's who he is yeah i'm playing he's playing i'm minimalist like all right that's a good term kind of yeah yeah i care more about ideas and like comedy right now that i my expression is being filtered through my house right but i don't do it through my comedy no and what you're saying is is what you're saying you're saying well bobby you know i'm more prolific right and i i'm more dynamic i mean and i'm opening the envelope so that i'm channeling it the right way is that what you're saying no i think this fuels you this fuels your creativity like the stuff you have on the walls fashion that makes you you and that fuels your comedy for me that feels like time i'm just like oh i want to get to this thing like this seems not important to me for me and i don't have an eye for it like i don't know what to put on the wall you do i had to hire a girl to you have the eye can i tell you why you do why because you have specific tastes in music uh-huh right if you were a guy like my dad who's never heard like might you could literally play he's dead now but you could literally play the most popular song like let's say let it be everyone knows what letter b is i mean you played in front of like you know an autistic five-year-old girl knows that you got that's the beatles right or whatever or i heard that song before right my dad would not know he just doesn't know music right you do you're not only you have a specific style that you like you're like electronica yeah right you like synth [ __ ] but very specific too like sometimes at the store you'll you'll go oh that's uh i know that's that's marky moon i don't know yet that's marky moon when he was that's lmx that's lnx33000 and i'm like i don't know he's like oh yeah he's great at you know we all synth you know i mean don't talk about dark ways like i like classics they're an electronic band and uh yeah yeah yeah they came right or that guy yeah they come to the store that's one thing so why can't your [ __ ] place look like a retro kind of like cool electronica store i don't know my brain doesn't work that way it's it's sort of like you're a creative guy but you you do stand up like that that's your genius zone like you like music but you can't play it right you can't i can't oh yeah you play piano [ __ ] i could i play i can pick up any instrument and do a little okay my point here's another thing right i do your podcast up in your house yeah yeah what's up the other guy's name ali ollie's great i love him right and it's like you get uncomfortable when i bring up weird things yeah because we i don't know we just grew up different you know i know but still and i've had to break i've made progress but it's been because you're raised a certain way and to be conservative and like even doing stand-up is something that you you're not like i shouldn't be doing what i'm doing technically yeah but your stand-up is the most [ __ ] up things i've ever heard in my [ __ ] life yeah thanks i mean like the the nike shoe with the guy in the wheelchair it's like really weird well the stage is kind of the safe space for some reason like mentally once i'm on stage no thought is too depraved or if you do the work logic wise yeah i can i can get away with these thoughts i always felt like i've had a little like holden caulfield syndrome but i'm good at conforming so i i wouldn't read i don't read as someone who thinks this way or thinks that some things are [ __ ] because i can be very proper and yeah it's just like you're good at like i think you're a code switcher i guess so yeah yeah you're an engineer but you're someone who's just had to do that probably yeah your whole life especially if you're raised conservative like i i totally understand that i had to get a's and b's and yeah yeah there was a way to kind of i ran into i'm not going to say who but i rendered one of your ex-girlfriends at the improv and i literally wanted to go seriously what was it like [ __ ] for him i can only imagine what do i show you bobby i can always imagine it's like a very proper like yeah i say t minus mission control there's certain days there's a window the weather's right yeah if you have if you can't get hard houston we have a problem we're gonna give a prom i knew a guy who broke up with his girl and they were had only been dating a couple months because she would um ask to schedule sex she would be like can we he he as he grew frustrated and she would sense his frustration she would be like what about next saturday at this time does that work for you that you you schedule right no no no no no come on but i will say the difference between guys and girls i'm even doing a bit about this like how women just like sex to organically happen like like a magic trick yeah i don't want it to know it just happened like they don't want to know that it's going to happen whereas with a guy you could schedule sex three years from now and be like yeah yeah it's already in my ical you don't even have to put it in your cow you know it yeah they go are you sure three years is a long time for you what about your emotional state i'll no i want to i'll be ready yeah i think yes in theory the whole let's have i it's nice to think that it's gonna organically happen but that's a for me i have to pretend like i want it to organically happen because i gotta put a brillo pad down there like there's a lot of prep involved yeah it's like plucking nipple hairs brillo pads babe i've seen hairs sticking out your nipples i exactly because we've been together a long time and it's like and i don't need to do the prep anymore do i love it it's so good it's something to do the prep that girls think they need to do is for them like the guy no no it's for him because i could probably he will do this what the hell is like in the middle what the [ __ ] is that like you're in a five-star restaurant yeah like this garnish isn't the wrong place yeah you got to see a dermatologist like i'll like say stuff like we'll make an appointment romantic yeah so you don't schedule i don't schedule yeah yeah no okay what's up what are you supposed to do i'm not mad please don't get angry no i'm not how how long ago was it i'm curious what when did you see her bump into her oh two weeks ago oh wow okay yeah i have a question for you guys when you date a girl and obviously you know you take her she's seen she sees you go up at the comedy store improv laugh factory date her for a couple years say for instance um um what are your thoughts when after you break up you see him still coming around like is that that oh it's because it's your place of work right it's your place of i'm a big proponent of not mixing worlds yeah uh whenever i date someone obviously i want it to work out yeah but i take solace in knowing that if it doesn't work out it's like eternal sunshine i don't have to see or think about them they're not in my life visually and i have to think about it mentally so that's why i never dated comics and stuff yeah but what if like i see what she's saying like you're doing you know you break up with a girl and then you're at the comedy store and she's in the audience like once every no like all the time like that would [ __ ] suck that's almost like i wouldn't go up oh you wouldn't i would have banner from the room oh you know i'm not kidding you i would go to emily listen you have the banner i have another question a follow-up question um i have something else he has sort of made friends with your friends and her excuses well i'm friends with this open micro in this open mic and that's why i'm here hanging out my god that is nails on a chalkboard that's my worst nightmare yeah yeah to infiltrate your life and just become friends with all your other friends and doesn't have their own and just sort of like leeches on like i need her to have her own life yeah hi good to see you here for him i didn't know you were going up tonight oh really that's weird because it happened maybe like 10 times my name is on the [ __ ] market yeah you don't look at the ig lineup so yeah i had a girlfriend that um after we broke up it was a bad breakup i was i treated her poorly but a month later i was at talking to my agent and my agent was like yeah we hired her and i go what huh yeah she's an accountant and so for a year she was looking at my checks right and that felt so weird she's writing notes like maybe it'll be bigger next time yeah yeah why are they taking 40 out of my yeah you know but i so then one day i went over there just to visit her and just to clear things up i don't know why i did that but and i miss her i mean you know she was a good girl but it was still weird you know don't do that you know i had this other girl that um i broke her heart i just break people heart right yeah that's your emotion and then she started dating another comic and he started hating me right and so i remember one time i was at the improv sitting there like having a coke or whatever and they both came in like gave me stink eye and i was just like okay you won a war that's the um i and third question i have is if a girl if you're really into a girl say for instance but you find out that she has previously dated not a comedy friend of yours but a comedy acquaintance what are the rules hmm there are no rules it's just preference if it's pretty close to my circle i don't like that yeah if it's a satellite you still got to evaluate it it is weird though when a girl has is into one genre like all she dates is skaters or all she hates or all she dates is comedians yeah or all she dates is musicians that's like i'm like an asian she's a fetish it's a fetish then like it's not even about me she just sees a silhouette with a microphone yeah you know so there was a girl that i don't know if i probably talked about this but there was a girl that um like any girl that [ __ ] me from a comedy club right has [ __ ] everyone up this is essentially what i want to say like yeah so i met this girl she was in the parking lot at the store i pull up and she's just stitched beautiful girl and she comes up to me and she goes i'm just a huge fan i go oh thank you because you know when there was a hot chick i i used to do an asian accent oh oh thank you and she goes um she does this she goes i live in bakersfield but then i have problems with my car something's going with my car like this oh that's scam yeah right damn so i got a station scam thing i go [Laughter] yeah and she goes is there any way i just can spend the night right yeah she comes over to my house and we're sitting there watching tv in the condo yeah the blue couch anyway we hook up and then obviously three days later um a comic calls me and he basically goes uh are you with that girl i go how do you know and he goes oh everyone's [ __ ] her you know it my heart broke it's like the usual suspects just the coffee mug drop you're piecing it but here's how how why why it's heartbreaking years later russell peters comes up to me oh yeah and he goes um hey you know this girl i go yeah yeah and i go yeah she [ __ ] me and everyone she's like she never mentioned you oh he she admitted to every single person that she had vlogged except for me she denies me wow for a week i did but she's like no gross oh that's like not making a festival lineup so why am i not on the poster yeah yeah why is my font so small yeah it felt like i didn't wasn't invited new faces again you know like again you know i mean like it felt like it's yeah like not being picked for the team you know i mean it was like really hurtful yeah that is hurting but that happens that happened to me many times and another thing was a girl in dallas she was a waitress at the addison improv nice girl but she pablo francis came up to me and said oh yeah i hooked up with that girl he said no she never mentioned you just happened twice yeah maybe i'm like am i i don't know am i ugly what is it no tell me what it is no it's let's be real though oh okay i can i can handle it i think that these girls were probably raised with a certain idea what they think an attractive man is and they haven't elevated to appreciating appreciating how hot asian men are i equate it to i think i'm like ordering bone marrow at a restaurant or shark fin soup [Laughter] you got to try it that's pretty good like yeah i'm sharp don't get it soup don't give me those looks good yeah yeah yeah but also it's like my my my most proud of badges of honor is when i [ __ ] uggos yeah like [ __ ] uggos [Music] no you're hot compared to some others i've i think when girls get older or just people in general uh when you're younger you would hear these traditional stats of beauty yeah and then as you get older you kind of become more in tune with what you like yeah like i've been with the girls and they're like they're like i like guys with big noses or something oh my god i have a friend who just sends me pictures of dudes with big noses all day but then i feel like a fetish again you know it's like it's nice everything's up but you know why it is for her so her thing is when um a guy goes down on her and he has um it's like a dildo yes so it touches an inadvertent dildo like he doesn't even want to but by nature it's basically like when you're down on the lips your nose is touching the [ __ ] that's even more hurtful like it's not it's just mechanic it's not even like i think it's visually stunning it's just your big schnoz stimulates my [ __ ] it kind of kills two birds with one stone so your face is very effective at cunnilingus okay so it's almost like evolutionary like yeah like the afghan developed the larger nose to stimulate the the taurus i mean do you smell better or what what do you mean like i've super powered yeah yeah like x-men like wolverine do you think you smell more than i do yeah you guys get bigger noses yeah yeah maybe yeah i don't know because every every white person with a button nose was like adjusting their mask and mine was [ __ ] anchored right there the whole pandemic like i had one mask the whole thing didn't budge mine was like hermetically sealed it was [ __ ] airtight yeah yeah but like neil brennan was adjusting his at every show yeah mine is just hanging on for dear life mine would just slip off my face yeah i have just no anchor so that's what you're saying of an anchor i have a good anchor yeah that's pretty cool dude yeah yeah i'm waiting for the next pandemic just that's my time [Music] athletic greens athletic greens it's my favorite go ahead babe you guys this is how i get my day started every single day i get one scoop of athletic green i do two i put it in cold water i don't even mix it with anything else because i love the taste of it i get my little mocha stirrer and that is exactly how i start my day i feel really good when it hits my body what do you think so what is it you people ask what is it i i always go you don't know it's well it's 75 quality oh 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to and that's me most of the time yeah and guess what what it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours and they have a really cool journal feature if that's what you're into great our listeners get 10 off the first month at betterhelp.com belly that's betterhelphelp.com belly i um i wish i could foresee pandemics back then before wouldn't didn't you do like i had these dreams out of the time machine and like two years before the pandemic just come up with a business that would have been like zoom like zoom that's cool yeah create zoom or just even like medical supplies that they were like lacking like you know ventilators um but like if i had time machine with like five years like i would travel five years from now and whispered to my old self built ventilators but then i wouldn't know like you know man with him yeah yeah at this joke i was like man can you guys you think about it michael jackson was just so ahead of his time he was ahead of everybody else he was wearing masks before all the he was [ __ ] kids before epstein was like really ahead of him yeah he was ahead of his time yeah he kind of was right because you would see michael with the mask and you'd be like oh what a weirdo or that was so strange yeah yeah visually remember but did he wear the mask to not because he didn't want to get sick i don't know i wonder if part of it was like a way to disguise the plastic surgery on the nose ah i wonder if it's that or part of it was germs too but he popularized the mask but it was so strange but now it's normalized after this no one some people still travel with a mask on and it's not weird oh yeah do you think everywhere yeah yeah do you think honestly because obviously he started looking very he looks looking very bizarre do you think after each surgery he literally looked in the mirror and went that's it that's a good point it's getting better i'm curious i like to ask this question what era michael jackson do you believe he was perfect and should have stopped off the wall i think so too in terms of look and look if you look black there i s i will go as far as thriller i think thriller mike is still that's bordering but it's still bordering on the middle you're right i would pass that like if that was my husband i'd be like that's this is it that's enough here's enough's enough you're not gonna go you know what i mean i think we've progressed so far as society in accepting all forms of racial beauty that off the wall mike probably would have been acceptable and he would have felt more comfortable in his skin in 2022. thriller mike in the 90s or 80s yeah that is appropriate for that period i would say oh here we go so is 83 thriller no yeah i think 83 is filler i think 79 is awesome i like 79 mike actually 79 yeah that's off the wall that's what i'm saying but i mean 77 mike is good too yeah yeah 77 is great yeah 91 is already too far 91 is crazy yeah 95 though is getting to fun when do you think people like tweaked or like twigged on what's going on do you think they saw bad and they're like what's going on here or not because he could look at the general over it's like a slow burn right you just kind of go over the years it just slowly happens how he'd have looked kind of like cosby caused me and george clooney a little bit yeah i don't think that's not the way he would look i don't think there's no way well we don't know he would be completely invisible i think in my head no if he hadn't like translucent almost right yeah he's like i'm there my final form i'm prosper thanks doc you nailed it he nailed it he just put a picture of casper i'm a theory i'm a serious i'm energy now i'm better all over the house i'm pure energy yeah yeah like you watch his music videos he says there's no one on screen and it's just like a you know like you know like a flare or something yeah that'd be funny poor mic though i just heard some audio of him um it was really sad i think he might have been in his 20s telling somebody i don't know if he was saying it to basically saying like i've never been with a woman i've never been in a relationship this is when he was obsessed after he was obsessed with diana ross apparently like he was wildly obsessed with her for a long time but after that he was asking either his management team like how can it how can this happen for me how can we make this happen for me i want to be with somebody if i was jermaine jackson i would have just went to the family i'm taking mike on a world tour but not music no i would i would just put out like a [ __ ] tour here's the crazy thing that's what it taught me though like because of his upbringing in the way he was raised he was deficient in this area and he never got to progress but his his fame and and stardom was so huge and exponential that when he was with a girl acting the way he does if he wasn't famous every girl would be like peace but it's [ __ ] michael jackson if even he's like you want to have popcorn or we could play video games with like a supermodel yeah they'd be like yeah whatever whatever mike because he's his talent is that great yeah but if he worked at best buy or something it was like you want to play n64 nah no what yeah there's no way he was totally like arrested development like i i'm not trying to defend the pedophilia but like i don't know you don't know uh yeah i mean any way you slice your cut what did your gut say because this is where he doesn't like to he doesn't like to put it to put plant a flag yeah yeah he doesn't like doing this so i want to make him plan oh here's what i will say no no no no hold on what do you know what the [ __ ] sorry about it something yeah some stuff some stuff oh okay good good that's and that's a flag because let me please let me paint this picture this is a testament again to michael's talent where you there's allegations of child you know the kids and stuff and people be like look man he didn't have a childhood just that people would even say that as a defense imagine he can't sing or dance in the same the same facts are there yeah it's just some neighborhood guy that you hear about maybe touching kids yeah like look that guy never had a childhood yeah yeah so they'd be like let's kill them yeah they would hang them yeah you're right yeah yeah i mean obviously talent and all that stuff yeah it's it's really [ __ ] up like psychologically i don't know it was kept in a childlike state because everyone did everything still that's that's still no excuse it's not an excuse no no i'm not saying that but you it's for me it's easy to wrap my head around why someone would then want the company of children because they themselves feel like children it's [ __ ] up of course but then there's a very clear understanding of why that something like that would happen to a guy like him we understand why it's like you know the uvalde shooter you know he had problems mentally right but just it's not okay and um he should go to prison for life what if they evaluate him they're like he actually checks out he was good totally fine he passed all the tests and was totally normal guys it's unfortunate what he did but yeah but it like caused me there's no excuse there cosby is just like bad just a i don't know what the [ __ ] man it's terrible is it uncomfortable now guys no not at all everyone's weird right now what the [ __ ] you planted a flag everything you know i played in my flag did you like michael growing up because he was my entry point to like music and dancing i loved him man there's no way to not i mean here's the magical thing about his music is if it's playing in a mall you'll dance yeah i mean your new walk you can just see it you know me like beat it comes on and i was like even now peter comes i'm going to escalate oh and i'll okay you'll start knife fighting a guy yeah yeah yeah i mean it's thriller i think it's just in terms of a pop album oh yeah it's so flawless i mean it's got three songs on that album that are that if you play it in some tribe in the amazonia like people that don't have television or a radio they would not that beat it you know i mean they would know what it is that's crazy yeah yeah um there's certain people like that like if you show a photo of arnold schwarzenegger in some like you know in mongolia you know what i mean or the jungle where they film predator they'd be like oh yeah my dad worked with him yeah he was grip yeah they would know that's how that's what thriller was thriller is that kind of album it just reaches everyone yeah and um there will not will you think there'll be anything like that ever again just everything is so fractured and segmented that because before there was only a few channels and there was a radio so you could have something as bright as michael yeah is harry styles the closest thing yeah harry styles um like true like big big stars yeah hardly yeah harry styles no not even close but then he's not close to the beatles he's not even remotely close to thriller i mean i want to know your thoughts on um everybody turning on justin timberlake oh here's my theory on justin timberlake what happened for tell me okay going on no i just think tell me what happened so in short you know he's very beloved in sync with a solo thing everyone's always just always rallied behind justin timberlake but as of lately like i think the general um feeling is that like we hate this guy okay my theory i think he took too much time off he was on top he remember he was the biggest guy in r b artist like he was the dude and then he took some time off and then bruno mars came in and then bruno mars kind of dethroned him as the r b song and dance guy and then i think he tried to come back with man of the woods or something and it wasn't as big as where he was before he took the time off right and so he's been playing from behind he had the troll soundtrack song or whatever but that's like one song and it's from trolls but i literally do not know a single song yes you do cry me a riverbank yeah no i don't know that song i swear to god just one of them rock your body never heard it he ruined janet jackson's career i know i know who he is if i saw justin timberlake at a starbucks i'd be like oh that's just like joey fatone yeah but i literally don't know i mean it's it doesn't register it's like you know gene's friend adam who maroon 5 you would have to go oh that's a maroon 5 song and i'd be like oh okay i think i heard that in a mall somewhere right but it doesn't register me as something that's either something that i like it's like um you know i was shooting um this short film and we were at some guy's warehouse and this guy downtown he must have in the 70s just been like had his own rock club or whatever because he had like vintage roxy music i mean there's just certain things that i gravitate to but and even harry styles i know i like him i think he's a talented guy but justin timberlake or some of these other people i just it doesn't register me i think in my head as good it's too possible it's not good to me yeah so i don't memorize it or i don't know anything about it and he's they're nowhere near you know a thriller or the white album this is not even close you'll never you know not only is that fractured have you noticed this whole planet now especially this country is so fractured and there are things happening that it's it's just i honestly think something's gonna happen that's gonna you don't think like aliens aliens have to invade for us to rally behind something again that's independence day that's exactly yeah yeah i mean like in independence say what happened alien the israel and the uh palestinians remember the military they're like planning together there was that little cut scene what if the aliens come and they choose yeah that's those are that's the jew's land we've been following we've been following from afar they were interviewed intervening it's like lord of the rings where the cavalry comes and just says yeah right so what's the point it's interesting the biggest protests happen in the place where we don't need the support like it's a slam dunk here like the way it's gonna swing yeah you need that in the places that it's kind of 50 50. yeah bobby and i got stuck in in the middle of an interesting um protest the other day can i show it to you for him yeah gil did i send it to you will you play that uh it's on your phone sure give me a second find it is that the group text it's to you and stella got it i don't think i think if you mean if he saw what we saw he would uh literally sped up i i don't know well let's be the judge yeah video of it one second let me pull what is the cause i feel like it's less about the cause and more like let's just get naked yeah this is like against peanut allergies they just want to get naked there's audiences insane very difficult even the most what is the cause anticipation yeah it was after the row that's their protest yeah is that the group we do that for anything though right i think there were a group of nudists that like blm getting look for any type of moment to protest they're getting rid of jewels getting eggs they get naked off at foot locker let's see if you can make it yeah yeah because they look like professional nudists like i know when someone is getting naked for the first time publicly you can tell where they're kind of like slouched a little bit they're like why am i but these guys were like pros they were like here we are there was an old man that with a hammer deck oh i know good for him yeah it was so big do you think it was what are we talking big like thick like a beer can thick yeah it was beer can't think yeah it was incredible like tall boy or cowboy boy was it more male heavy than female heavy with the yeah it's oh of course it always is right yeah i just but you know it's like um i'm a nudist you know that right yes what is it about you that you're not upbringing like if i like let's say about you and i never mooned anyone before no no no one's ever seen his ass no one's ever seen that yeah bare ass oh so let's say you and i were in europe right we're doing something we're shooting a movie in europe okay and i go coffee hey feed you know um there's a beach normandy normandy beach where they fought the war uh-huh women remember in sergeant private ryan that opening scene but now it's a nudist beach yeah they re-enact it naked yeah yeah um you want to go would you go no well you wouldn't go even everyone's naked yeah i just that's so weird for me like it makes my skin crawl okay here's what i invited a cream spot no this is what this is what needs to happen do you want to um strengthen our friendship yeah do you sure okay the only way because i'm going to say this ian edwards a bunch of people santino everyone they've all gone to spas with me i got a spot right would you go to a korean spot with me it's it's co-ed my heart no we're going to yeah we're not we're going to we're not going to go to the ghetto one that i like to go to we're going to go to wii spa which is like oh i used to live by there you've never been there i was right no i don't hear about it right holly goes all the time too right he goes with my shitty one that's my favorite one but would you go to wii spot with me maybe can i think about it no it is one of those things but what okay what is it what okay what's the worst thing that can happen play out the scenario right now what it is i just don't like being naked in front of other people okay you have to respect that no i know i i i respect it i respect it right but it's also it's like one of those things it's like if you're at a restaurant and if you're not allergic to a food but you don't want to eat it because i just that's not my thing i mean you got to try it it sounds dumb but it's like jumping off a cliff for me yeah that's that's a really weird thing like i feel the same way oftentimes like even for you going to the spawn being naked is a very comfortable thing i go to wii spa and i'm not comfortable with full nudity can you believe that i can't believe it yes i'm not comfortable i i i do it but i walk around with my boobs like this and a little towel underneath and i'm not as comfortable as the other ladies yeah but can i just i want to know why though what is the fundamental reason because it's like it feels like a secret for like it feels private and and then your dick is a secret a little bit yeah it's a secret oh that's kind of cool that's cool it's a mystery yeah it's like you know the riddler down there i like like having a piece that nobody knows all we know i don't mean in that regard but like no we know though sure you're not into like sunning your genitals no okay right so if we went to we spa and we got you would so they they're i go to the steam room and there are white dudes there that wear to shorts interesting oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so you can do that there right is that what you do yeah maybe would you be uncomfortable if i was naked i would get over it like because that's your choice i shouldn't be right it could be something different you know [Laughter] that i'm not because what do you mean i gotta do this i don't know what i mean different for me i'm not around a lot of naked dudes you know right there's a lot of naked dudes there yeah that's kind of the jam but like you know but it's not sexual in nature i know right right yeah it's interesting is there is it is it something that we can like can you get over it eventually you think in life like i show one ball just eventually yeah it's like a 90s photo loading just one ball and then two balls and then the [ __ ] the shaft yeah what i'm saying yeah and then i'll never touch it and i won't even look at it uh i will never i'll go you know what it's like that's a lie you know it's almost like some weird body kills you always look at it yeah even if you're not looking at it your peripheral vision is like trying to figure out what i'm looking at here what i've looked at yours bro we walked we okay we went to we spot one i don't think the comic andrew lopez we took him about the first time and uh i was like everyone get naked we're going to waste bob like all right cool he's like relax wait hang on everyone get naked we're going to come out of the car just make it like here's my car like bobby's get over it look i won't even look at you guys we are like cool we get into the first thing he does is like start commenting you're like the don rickles of dick why are you saving your [ __ ] book no no it's not it's not ripping right it's just comments it's just commenting because it's like because it's not something that i see often it's a rare thing it gives me that opportunity just to give my opinion and my point of view you're being so innocent here i'm giving my seinfeldian observation over your penises yeah yeah there's no malice yeah so i go nice head or i'll say like he'll compliment her yeah i'll it's all compliment i'm not ripping it apart all right so i'm curious what are some nice features of a penis that you would like give a compliment to like what what's your type yeah what's your type of penis i don't ha look i'll be honest with you i didn't like yours i don't use it you said that yeah yeah he did yeah he's uncut so i don't like anything about yours right he also doesn't like that i don't shave yeah so for me it was just like instead of focusing on the things that i think are disgusting which is a lot right um as a penis even like um i just try to be more um positive so it's just like maybe like oh that's right yeah maybe you should maybe you should try trimming you know what i mean trying to get him there honestly yeah trying to get into that yeah maybe you could trim i don't know like that's scissors they're pretty cheap yeah yeah yeah we're sponsored by some of the herons okay stuff so you know maybe you should use their products yeah right yeah you completely shave i do yeah um with like a bick or just not he doesn't bake it okay it's just a trimmer no i do it you take it to a one no i go to um last night i went to after before i had that little break between shooting i was shooting something and i went to the korean spot the one on sixth street oh and they have these oh you start speaking in tongues yeah and i got they're just shitty dry razors i take you know i mean i go to the steam room and i take um they have um shaving um cream and i just and i just shave when i sit down yeah but you have like rhino height for skin you wouldn't forget ingrowns huh yeah because if i were to just bick it oh my god like the regrowth on that would be so painful really oh yeah that's why i don't shave like a lot of girls don't shave it's because we have it's just the when it starts to grow back you get ingrowns the bumps it looks like a [ __ ] you can't tell if it's like a [ __ ] herpes is yours curly or dizzy okay no my pubes are straight not that straight they're not they're no no no okay no one's pubes are very straight unless you're straight what's yours curly right yeah yeah yeah yeah let me ask you something not i don't want to see it but um do you look at your own penis in the mirror oh you want to take a shower you kind of have to yeah but do you do are you shamed is there shame involved or no when i'm by me it's like part of me right you're used to it i don't look at it i'm like oh you don't do that yeah i'm not like terrifying you again conjuring up these thoughts like i have underwear on just all the time all right no all right so um so let's just try to do it one night so what is your type a penis yeah cut yeah what are good features what are the ideal penis i mean there are ones that are magnificent you know what i mean and they're like is that an idealized thing or is that it's just in terms of like um like paulie shore's one is i've talked about it very big but i don't like anything about it i don't like the color i don't like um the way it rotates it's like a magic mountain ride you know i mean oh it's got an invert yeah like oh that's a new that looks interesting you know i mean like it it doesn't you know i mean like you don't know you know you when you see like x2 at magic mountain you go how does that work like what does that kind of feel like it's like you don't know you ask there's more questions yeah right there's more questions and answers right are you more um thrilled by girth or length i think i i like you know i saw a black man um at wii spa a month ago and i literally went oh that's like the best one i've ever seen you tell him no you'll see but it was like a wreck but not um like the size of it was like a wreck but not right it was laying low but a wrap show her yeah the right um it was perfectly straight there was no like like the guy doesn't jerk off not eye what not yours he doesn't have a dominant hand he doesn't have an ambidextrous yeah he's double-handed i think yeah i mean so he uses alternate strokes alternate struggling right or probably one night thursday is right the friday is the left you know i don't know how he does this it's the evening the system right um it the color was once black yeah right but one solid black whereas like my tri-color you know we talked about it a million times right and he was also a handsome guy so the face affects how you feel about this she's trying to make you yeah oh okay because if you look like um i always want to be nice about it but if he looked like jeff ross right a black jeff ross it would affect the way the scoring exists the scoring system yeah so there's te you have a technical difficulty then like you know when you judge an olympic guy say for instance this is judging the fetuses like there is there is a criteria for how you judge the dive before they even dive right yeah and i try not to tap the handicap is what they look like and i try as a judge i'm trying not to use that but it's just subconscious it's like when i see a korean dude there are times where i want to give him extra points because of the race the best of the race and stuff right but i have to kind of detach myself from the race i just picture you at wii spa and then walking over and putting a blue ribbon [Laughter] you are best in show or across the room 9.7 yeah yeah but you know it's interesting just also depends on how i feel that day you know like sometimes if i'm in a bad mood scores will be lower oh yeah yeah it affects if i you know so you're like you can be like a grumpy judge yeah if i if i got a call saying your deal went through you just got this i'll go to wii spot and everyone gets nine everyone gets ready yeah yeah yeah everyone gets yeah but anyway so we're gonna go soon what yeah well yeah we'll talk about we'll talk we're doing it i promise you i promise you we're doing it okay okay okay good or sweet in the pot what else could you throw in there like a meal before oh that's obvious right so he always him um glassman sometimes but eric griffin they're always like you want to eat yeah create contents like that too yeah you might eat buddy yeah whenever you're at the store right you always have to see yeah and we always sometimes do it um so but i'm going to squeeze in a weed too yeah yeah i go yeah but let's compromise i'll go where you because you're also very picky you too though no i'm not yeah i'm always like let's go get um what was the newest thing with hamburger and you're like no you wanted to go to carnies and sometimes that's a gut bomb like you have to be in the mood for gut bombs chili fries and a burger and all that right right right the korean place you took me to was great did you really like it it was awesome yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like you're already famous but there you're like extra famous thank you yeah you're like bradley cooper in there i appreciate it um you want to promote we're going to do all the helpful advice but what's your promoting the special i did the stand-up special at the comedy store called hat trick how's it going pretty good yeah great yeah great response yeah man i was overwhelmed because like youtube can be kind of you know that's the thing when you do a special like on netflix or something you don't know but you have the comment section on youtube right so that's like throwing yourself to the wolves and it's been really like great the outpouring and people are like ven mowing money and stuff and that's so cool that's awesome well you're one of the best comics in the country i really believe that that's nice um so that's your youtube so that's what i'm saying george see how are you verified yeah on youtube yeah how come i can't be you can just but how come i'm not george just have one of the people or you got your codes and everything i want to do a channel like this you have you have you posted anything in life i know i don't know the codes or any of the passwords nothing you don't even codes we'll do it later but anyway so the it's doing going well yeah yeah yeah and and and you can make money through the views no it's not even a money play man i know like i just wanted people to be able to see it i wanted the least amount of friction between the special and people getting to it because my first one was on siso and nobody knows what the [ __ ] ceso is yeah and no one really got to see it even though that one's on youtube now because comedy central licensed it but i i didn't want it to be i didn't want to sell it to like a 2b or something and i make a little bit of money but no one ever sees it like i do fine financially i just wanted people to be able to access it super easy you know it really i just have to say this this is my point of view but i really believe it um you know there are certain gatekeepers in terms of comedy right and i don't want to name companies right but to me and i really believe this is you're a no-brainer and there are certain like streaming companies that will check mark this person this person this person and i literally go not even remotely on the same level as fahim anwar i mean you're the type of guy that performs and bill burr and mark mary and people will come in and watch and go wow that was a great bit or i've seen it right you know people leave during mine right but you people like a moth through a flame dude i mean they're there i mean you're so highly respected and it's like it really makes me angry that you would that you didn't get like an hbo or a netflix big deal you know i mean it's like are you out of your mind like i'm sorry i'm sorry i i'm sorry i've been everywhere new york l.a i know everybody i watch i know the vibes i know some it's like what the [ __ ] how is this happening it makes me so angry it's like who the [ __ ] do you think you are right the suits yeah i'm just honestly i'm [ __ ] tired of it it's like you're [ __ ] mine the people that they put on there are people that aren't even [ __ ] funny at all people can't even survive in any environment any environment yeah anyway i mean that is nice i mean i appreciate it [Laughter] i'm sorry i just i just like you know i mean nothing you can't you can only do so much though you know like at the end of the day i i get up i'm past the store and pass the improv i get a go up everywhere and do stand up i'm like i have that outlet artistically and everything and you have no control over whatever the taste of the month is at netflix or h there should be no taste of the month sure the best people should get it but at least youtube is opening it up it's more democratic now that's what i like and yeah so people can vote with their views and their clicks but there isn't this throttling of or choosing who the certain like i'm not brown and the way they want me to be brown i'm just funny first and afghan is like so down the line of what i talk about not me one number one no i love african yeah you took me on the road and stuff so you've seen me you've seen the journey not just you i here's what i have okay i can look at you i look at the crowd response right i look at the amount of spots you get and i look at other people very open i want to laugh and i go um not even in the same dimension as fema anymore and yet they get it right they get the stuff and i just understand why so anyway unhelpful advice with fahim hey guys my name is gabe i'm 26 years old and i live in uh tucson arizona i have a real problem i haven't been able to talk to anyone about it due to how personal it is to my girlfriend but i can't hold it anymore for the past year my girlfriend's uh down below has smelled worse than anything i've ever smelled before bb let's turn me off to the point where we haven't had a sec it turned me off to the point where we haven't had sex in months the other day her dog was kissing me and his breath smelled exactly the same like her cooter i'm scared to say anything because i don't want to compare her to my dog's breath but they really do smell exactly the same she's pregnant with my child but she's doing what we are all thinking what maybe it's the babies what do i do maybe the baby smells help me out how do i approach this situation do you think the dog was cheating with the girlfriend that's why the mouth smelled you've been cheating with the dog yeah yeah why does his breath smell like your cooter yeah and why is there peanut butter in your vocator yeah anyway how does one bring in something varies how would you okay let's say um i my big nose is not working and i happen to miss the you know disastrous scent that's emanating because that's my [ __ ] you don't know my idea [ __ ] is pristine and you know that i would be i would say how would you tell me they actually do it yeah your [ __ ] sings that's how you would say it oh no i would i would do like a ransom note just cut out different letters from a man under the door be like i don't know how they know that's crazy yeah i guess this like ransom person thinks you have a smelly [ __ ] i'm trying to think one of those glyphs like that the riddler yeah yeah yeah is that the code you have to crack the crack yeah yeah and this is is it like it's six months [ __ ] stinks [Laughter] right it's like alfred's like you know i mean i figured it out yeah yeah yeah just with the yeah paper um yeah i guess it's not something he should figure out but how do you tell your partner like if you had to tell bobby is there i just had to tell him like you wipe back to front because your dick smells like [ __ ] yeah you go just straight forward straight yeah but i that's because i know it's i can tell it's a hygiene thing in that moment i'm like okay there was some mechanical issue in the bathroom where i think he had a freaking lapse in judgment and he wiped the wrong direction so i have told him before like hey can you like like shower up real quick and then he doesn't take it personally it's fine um it depends how long they've been together but it seems like they're having a child i would be like hey um your ph seems like it's a little bit off like what's going on i i would just be honest there's no way to do it i'm sorry like you're you obviously are feeling starting to feel disgusted but there's a solution to that is he eating her out while she's pregnant can you do that you could totally do that i wouldn't do that would you do that wouldn't you why not whatever the [ __ ] blinked you see an eyelid yeah i just couldn't do it anyway um um so yeah i think there's no really right way other than just saying like hey something seems a little off down there like you're feeling okay yeah that's how it says if you approach it gently and yeah how would you do it how would you do it you would do it in an engineered way and i'm here for him you want to have sex yeah yeah i totally do and i you know i love it just um i don't know if you've noticed there's just something that i've i've noticed like it's uh it's already it's i don't know it smells a little off like i don't know what do you mean like what does it smell like just different than a normal than it normally does i'm just wondering it might be a medical thing or whatever like uh i just i just want to be honest anything myself well it's hard to spell your own cooter i don't know anything yeah i do though like you have allergies and stuff you take a sudafed or something you might smell what i'm smelling well can you do a sniff test right now i i'm smelling it it's like a cartoon when the pie is on the windowsill yeah that's i think that right there that's the way it's funny right it's kind of cute the way you're doing it but i think generally that's what the conversations will be like yeah with a lot more reassurance i think just be like babe you know i think you're really hot and whatnot like i really want to have sex with you seems like something's a little off but if you're sad already i would probably backtrack so let me try it okay hang on be real sad so hey how sweetie i'm just having it really bad no no you well you don't know about the meat then it's fine no get set no i'm sad already and then you're about to tell me we're just having a really hard one the point of the point the bit bit is that i have to do the i have to do the you know what i mean okay yeah so you have to be happy and then okay go ahead i think it's the i think the bit's not gonna work now all right bobby thanks for coming in uh i just love what you guys do on the phone right you know because i had choices here we go i haven't you guys are running it here we go oh yeah so um i just got back from the ultrasound and our baby girl is really healthy and she's kicking really hard and babe i'm feeling super horny right now the bit's already [ __ ] up no don't don't forget the baby either what kind of breath what is your [ __ ] set up all right i've been sitting sorry you'd be the worst improv don't mention the baby partner time my intention is this right so just go right just basically like hey you want to you that that right i can't do it i can't do the bit it's not going to [ __ ] work no you have to try you have to try it okay here we go i want to see it i know when i do it it's not gonna work and i i can't i can't live through the [ __ ] silence of the pain okay here we go i don't need it right now i'll give you a try i'll try all right somebody say actually and action babe yeah i'm feeling really horny right now yeah i i i i wanted to mention to you um you know i've had some concerns oh yeah yeah um the last time i went down it's not the last time the last 20 times i've been down there um your your vaginal area right uh is uh it smells really bad like what does it smell like it smells like um an okinawa fish market i i don't know how to like what the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me you're supposed to cry now my [ __ ] smells like fish to you are you crying now yeah i'm crying there's tears in my eyes it doesn't seem it seems angry it's okay be more sad it's a bit more sad so let's do it again yeah let it let it crush you yeah okay let it crush yeah okay yeah yeah okay yeah yeah yeah okay say it's okay excuse me i know that you have the camera set up as a wide right but for me we have to start from the beginning of the scene okay okay is that cool sure it's for me do you want us to i just want to say for me to react is to give you get it anyway okay okay and go ahead action hey babe yeah do you want to maybe chuck chuck a little bit yeah yeah um i meant to mention like you know for the last couple of times last 20 times um when i've been down there and it's your vaginal area it smells what yeah it smells like what do you mean i'm kidding that's with a bit [Laughter] peeled up to that piece of [ __ ] that's like it's like the aristocrats i know i said that's all about the build-up the whole time was like we should have cut the whole thing out but i'm just saying that that was the build up so and so i needed that turn but you like you [ __ ] it up a couple times but that's okay okay too many rules for that's so much in the center that specific scenario i it was a lot but i'm just saying um i'm sorry about that yeah yeah uh anyway um yeah guys anyway so um oh so congratulations on the youtube show this person they have to be you have to be upfront and honest right um and gentle but honest and honest and um i thought you killed it today no thanks yeah we loved you uh i love you guys thanks for all the opportunities uh you gave me coming up and [ __ ] and being able to plug the special on this means a lot all right so we did with bad friends as well mm-hmm we because we love you and we we know where what you are we know what you're doing thanks um god bless you god bless you and god allah bless you hey thank you yeah allah bless you thank you what that's your thing right yeah thank you [Music] i [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 291,996

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, stand up, bad friends, comedy podcast, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trash tuesday, chrissy chaos, h3, bad friends podcast, bad friends clips, fahim anwar, hat trick, comedy store, oliver tree, h3 podcast, michael jackson, justin timberlake, khalyla kuhn, joe rogan, comedy central stand up, rick glassman, kill tony, yannis pappas, andrew santino, whiskey ginger, bertcast, flagrant

Id: tm0QkF6d7aU

Length: 87min 48sec (5268 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 30 2022