We Owe Generation Z an Apology Today | Nathaniel Turner | TEDxHobartHighSchool

[Music] good morning come on good morning I'm excited to be here I want you to be excited too hey I'm uh from the nearby area I'm from Gary and I went to law school in graduate school at Valparaiso University so I know the region pretty well it's when I got the call about coming back here today to speak I was quite excited I read a lot and as I was preparing I found this quote by a gentleman named Thomas Wolfe this says you can't go home again and I got nervous like well can I go back how are they gonna receive me is anyone gonna like what I had to say so I want you to hold your thoughts about that to the end cuz I'm ask you later since I've been going from here I had an opportunity to speak to countless numbers of parents teachers students administrators coaches and what I found thus far my observation has been the people are not all that optimistic about Generation Z in fact just recently I had an opportunity to attend a book signing well I was the person signing the books and while we were discussing the book favorites parents and grandparents were talking a lot about your generation and again they weren't optimistic in fact there was quite a bit of pessimism being spoken and then a few days ago I had an opportunity it was invited by the school to come speak and met with some teachers and and some administrators and they too seem to find it sort of a chore to say things that are good about this generation now in two ways that's upsetting to me one is because I have a son who's a member of Generation Z and I think he's phenomenal and most of his friends whom I met are pretty phenomenal as well not as polynominal because he's mine but the second reason that I'm a disturbed is that it brings back memories about when I was a child see I'm a member of the Generation X and my parents were baby boomers and so I would always hear about how I had it easy especially for my father that I wasn't as tough as his generation I'd also had a high school guidance counselor who told me that the best that I could hope to do was to join the military and no discredit to anyone who's in the Armed Forces he wasn't saying that as a compliment he actually thought that the only person who would be interested in taking me to do anything in life would been someone who had to take so given all the things that I've heard about this generation I thought that I could share with you what those thoughts were in four words and I've categorized those four words this way impatient distracted entitled apathetic and those four words make of an acronym we're gonna call idea I'm speaking of idea I have an idea the idea is that we should parents grandparents elders we should tell the truth about generations in generation Z is impatient distracted entitled in that pathetic but not the way you think they are generation Z is impatient because they are the first digital generation and we've spent a lifetime providing them electronic devices that add extra dopamine to their brains that cause them whether or not you know this not to be addicts of instant gratification generation Z is distracted because we've left them a planet that's a mess and they have to solve everything global warming race and gender discrimination food and security homelessness just the name of you wouldn't you be distracted when you have so many things to do what do we start generation Z is entitled yes entitled to the same self-evident truths that's promised in the declaration independence unfortunately the way we've left the planet it's unlikely than any of them what ever experienced life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and finally generation Z is apathetic of course they are because they've also spent a lifetime of us feeding them food that makes them brain-dead and put something for physical health so why would anyone want to get up off the couch when the food that they've eaten causes them to want to sleep and given what we do politically and the choices we make as parents and the government officials that we elect to represent our children why even bother so yes generation Z is impatient distracted entitled in apathetic that's the truth but the other part of the truth is we've calls that now simply telling you what I believe to be the truth is not nearly enough I was told by psychologists because I need therapy right about now they're the first step to recovery is a mission so I'm admitting that we've created a mess and the second step is to apologize so I want to apologize to all the members of generation Z for whatever part I played in making this world a mess and the third step is to give us some solutions about how to move forward but where do we start well we start with this guy my favorite generation is either my son I ain't a is B Q you can say oh he's not that cute anymore he's 21 now but we'll start with his story because in his story the first few moments of his life the first few days is life will give us some indications about the challenges that exist for your generation and some of the ways for us to try them and those ways I'm explaining this is going to come in three parts the first part is called moldable the second part is called perseverance and the third part is called Lionheart so let's begin with the first part when you hear the word moldable you think of what Modi cheese moldy bread mildew some type of fungus no it's not what I'm talking about I'm talking my mold as in the shape of his head so my son was born in June 27 1995 and this is the part of the story where I could call it language because of the things my wife said in the delivery room see I had the video camera and I was trying to get everything video and she was yelling and screaming because the labor she was going through and she wanted me to put the camera down when one cent was born he was born with a conehead I mean a really pointy cone here I'm not exaggerating if his head had been orange he could have stopped traffic in fact I think I have a picture from delivery room there it is what I found out for the doctor is there it is not unusual for children be born with a conehead that the birth process and coming through the birth canal as extra pressure and the skull is soft and and the babies oftentimes are born with elongated or differently shaped heads so my son was one of those people but here's the cool thing that happened the doctor picked my baby up caressed his head and checked his head into a perfectly beautiful round head now if I could channel my inner President Trump for a moment I would tell you this he had the most beautiful head in all the world on people are telling me everywhere people are telling me he has the most beautiful head trust me I'm hearing I'm hearing yes he had the most beautiful head in all the world almost it's beautiful it's mine follically challenged beautifully round head come on people but in those moments here's what I learned seriously I learned that children are like this sign under construction and it's the responsibility of parents to make sure that we form and shape a world for children that can be beautiful because in that moment when I was worried about how my child was gonna look I wasn't worried if he was gonna live I wasn't worried if he was gonna have some disability I was worried about what people were going to say about my child in that moment I realized that if a doctor could form reform reshape bone skull their parents can reshape children's lives to be something that allows them to change the world the second thing second part is called perseverance someone last night my son's third day of life we packed them up to take him to see my father now as I mentioned earlier my father and I don't necessarily have the greatest relationship but I was hopeful that the story I'm told about grandparents loving their grandchildren more than they loved their children and I was hoping that was going to be true so he packed them up and we thought we could take him over and see his grandfather and so he arrived at the house I ring the doorbell and I've got this my newborn growling shaped head baby in my hand and my father comes to the door and I take my son and say hey dad this is your grandson this is now and my father extends his hands like that and I remember he's like he's happy yesterday he said get that baby away from me I don't like babies bring him back when he's 21 this is not melodramatic I felt my heart break this is my flesh and blood this is my hope that I would somehow build this bridge between this discontentment my father and I share it with each other my father pushed my son away as if he had some type of disease and he was worried about him starting a pandemic my father pushed him away as if he was imagining that it was his responsibility to be the first one to denounce generations II and over the years my heart still breaks because I would love for my son to have a grandfather but he doesn't but anymore I'm not so much worried about my son because his life is great I'm worried about all the other children want to see their parents and grandparents and elders and community members doing the same thing slamming the door slamming the door on your faces like this rejecting you and I wonder why that's the case so when my grandmother was alive she lived from 1908 to 2012 103 years I had a chance to ask her these kind of questions about my dad why does my father seem to suggest his generation was so much more brave than mine why does he suggest that things were so much more difficult for him than me and my grandmother was say you know what your dad has revisionist history and she would laugh he'd ask no idea what difficult times were I was born in 1908 my grandmother had the privilege of knowing her ancestors who were slaves as well as meeting her last ancestor who was born in 2010 which was a member of Generation Alpha so when I'd asked my grandmother it's my father was suffering revisionist history I had to trust her and she knew what she was talking about after all she had seen Jim Crow the Great Depression World Wars 1 & 2 segregation the civil rights movement the women's liberation movement the peace movement the Great Recession 9/11 you name it she saw it so if she said that your parents suffer from revisionist history she knew what she was talking about there's one other thing my grandmother would have wanted me to tell you she would want me to tell you this well then we should start a new social movement on her behalf hash in hash tag and grind my we trucks because if she said it to be true then it must be true but seriously here's the other thing she would've wanted you to know she would have wanted you to know the distort of the peril of the tree and the fruit which is that every tree is known by its own fruit so what does that mean well generation Z you need to understand so you can tell your parents this therefore whatever you are or not you are are not that because of your parents you need to be able to tell elders that for whatever you are whatever you're not when you're criticized you're not choosing to be criticized we've subjected you to criticism and if I could channel my inner pee-wee Herman anyone know him a daytime TV show host from the ladies I would tell Generation Z to tell your parents in the tone that they can remember I know you are but what am I in the last part it's called lion-hearted so what does that mean well the day 9 was born the following day on the 28th we get a notification from the hospital and they tell us you have to go home yeah I mean really you have to go home cuz they don't let you stay but 24 hours so I call it the limousine service to pick up my son is just as you see here there was a red carpet and paparazzi were there and they wanted to find out how they reshape this little baby's head but seriously there was a limousine and showed up picked up my son because of course I had had his head squozen by our doctor this is the least I could do was get him a limousine ride so we put him in the limousine and I have a car seat for the very first time and I'm strapping the car seat in and it dawns on me that I have more instructions about how to put a car seat in than to be a parent so we're taking all the Lamaze classes we learn how to eat ice chips or at least my wife did we learn how to plouf up pillows and how to breathe but what we hadn't learned was how to be a parent see Lamaze taught you how to give birth but no one ever taught you how to be a parent and I learned pretty soon that I didn't know how to be a parent because only hours later we had to feed him for the first time so we fed him or she did because she breastfed him and it had been odd for me to try to do it she breastfed them and burped him and and we walked with him and expected him to go to sleep because that's what it babies are supposed to do but he didn't go to sleep he just cry and cry and cry and her being exhausted she looked at me and she extends the baby to me sort of like I extended it to my father in that moment I had a decision that I was gonna make I wanted to say what are you doing I don't know anything about babies but then I thought about Mufasa I was like ma'am what would my father do WW MD what my father pushed the baby away no only time he would do that so I took my baby and I did what my father would do I cuddled him and I put his heart put his head to my heart so he could hear my heart and in that moment I realized the connection and what happened my son went to sleep and nearly every day for the first several days of his life that's exactly what we did I would lay on my back I'll put his ear to my heart and he would go to sleep and here's what I learned from that I learned parents that your children need to be connected to you at the heart every day in every way from zero to a hundred they need to be connected to you at the heart in fact I contend that the only way society will move forward is when parents and children remain connected at the heart so now we're back where we started where I apologize once again Generation Z on behalf of all old grumpy folks did you come into contact with I apologize because we've let you down but we're going to do better and so all the old grumpy folks I want to leave you with three things remember that your children's lives are under construction and you have the power to reshape and remote their lives in a way that allows them to move this planet forward number two I'm fond of this quote you you are not who you believe you are you are not who you think others believe you are you are exactly who your children consider you to be and finally we all owe our children a responsible plan that allows them to achieve excellence and we must love them with all our heart the way mufasa love symbol and lastly here's my question where I started can I please come home again thank you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 516,517

Rating: 4.9073262 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Education, Achievement, Activism, Cooperation, Dreams, Failure, Relationships, Youth

Id: N5Y8W0OC9Jw

Length: 16min 12sec (972 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 10 2018