We Broke Up | Healing From Heartbreak While Living Abroad

this is probably going to be the hardest video that I've ever had to film on [Music] YouTube hi friends my name is Hunter Bernay and I am a country bumpkin residing in the Beautiful Soul South Korea if you read the title or you watched my previous video you'll know that I have some life updates for you all so Juno and I we have broken up and yes that is the main topic and purpose for this video but also I want to create this video to talk about healing and how to come back from heartbreak and breakups and just where I see myself now and where I see myself going in the future so if you came here thinking that this was going to be a diss track it absolutely is not so we're approaching 2 months since we decided to split ways for transparency it was my decision but it was something that I felt was building for quite a while we are two very strong willed determined ambitious people and I felt like we were no longer moving in the same direction in terms of our life trajectory and as much as we were clinging to each other and clinging for this relationship to work ultimately I don't think that it would have been good for either of us long term now let me say everything that we filmed the loving content the thoughts about marriage and having children that was authentic I'm prepared yeah he he was the love of my life and my first love someone who I saw a tremendous and happy and bright future with so to now be sitting here and making this video and breaking this news officially to you all it's it's really hard to do now I know we're not some famous couple and I don't need to draw this video out because we're just two people living in this world and I just so happen to be someone who shares part of my life online but I invited you all into our relationship and our bond and our life here in Soul South Korea so I felt entitled and the desire to share that things have transitioned I do have some pointers I took some notes just so that I could stay on track with some flow of Consciousness one note that I highlighted on here is that I'm so proud of myself yeah the first period of this breakup Journey maybe like the first two weeks was really hard I went recluse I hid away I didn't do anything I didn't talk to anyone other than my mom and my family the connectedness that I feel with my family is just out of this world at this point I had to learn how to be patient with myself there's so much that I was Lear learning in such a short amount of time learning about myself learning about the world learning about people around me again going back to the part of being proud of myself just being proud of every day crying a little less or me finally going outside or me making a gym membership just doing things to invest back into myself something that I've always said is I went into this relationship whole I was a whole person I had taken time to invest in myself and to figure myself out so that's something I'm really thankful for because now coming out I still feel whole of course the the hurt and the pain was there but me as a person I'm not broken I'm not damaged and I'm devoted to picking up the pieces that did fall but also patting myself on the back for the pieces that didn't and so kind of maintaining that realistic SL optimistic viewpoint on my reality so now let's talk about how I'm feeling now I can get through multiple days without crying and really thinking about what happened I finally feel like I'm moving forward at a normal Pace one thing that really helped is I started reading a self-help healing book I have the title of the book written down right here it's called when you're ready this is how you heal and it's by Briana whis I will be sure to include the information down in the description box below this book has so many inspirational quotes you know those very pinteresty instagramy quotes a lot of which I like to post on my pages Beyond them just being nice comforting words there were real life things and exercises that you could do to help push yourself into the healing process of course she encourages doing things that you love and that bring you Joy like exercising reading investing in arts and crafts meeting with friends watching movies from me going to not Bang karaoke doing things that that make you feel good but one exercise that really stood out to me is she encouraged the reader to write a hello letter to their new self and to the life that they want to have and she said allow yourself to live again make progress by creating a new finish line for yourself and your new goals feel inspired again and challenge yourself to do things that you couldn't in that previous relationship a greeting of sorts to the new you that you want to manifest in the world that you're in so for me that new me was someone who saw the world as beautiful again oh my gosh someone who invested in themselves physically emotionally spiritually in all those aspects what I'm getting at is more recently the Vlogs that you've seen they've been me really trying to get into and tap into this new version of myself maybe I didn't have the time and the energy to invest into before but who I am devoting all of my time and energy into developing now I have a few takeaways from my experience in my first relationship and my first heartbreak one of which is sharing my relationship online brought a lot of Engagement and attention which I greatly appreciate everyone who has subscribed to the channel because of our couple content I don't regret sharing our journey online one thing to note is yes there was couple content on this channel but mostly this channel was about me and my life as a country pumpkin living in South Korea and through me navigating my life here in teaching and also post-teaching I feel like you all have seen me develop a real interest for beauty and inclusive Beauty so that's a journey that's going to continue on this channel I am going to continue maybe even more so to invest in and create Beauty content whether I live in Korea or I live elsewhere it is a passion that has grown so on the previous video first off thank you to everyone who left such beautiful comments I did my best to come back into the video and respond to comments and like and heart messages one message in particular really stuck out to me and I actually wrote down the quote because it's something that I wanted to add to my life in this new season that I'm in and the quote read that you should love and also save space to love again that this isn't the end of my love story and that people sometimes come into your life for a season and it's always for a reason but that season isn't always indefinite sometimes is finite I refuse to let the stories of my past dictate my future I'm also not going to personify my feelings and my experiences yes in the moment I feel those things and I have those experiences but they are not representative of me as a human being I am able to evolve and transcend all of those things so those are aspects that I'm taking with me as I continue to navigate this season but this season is not me I guess is what I'm trying to portray through the camera so my my next chapter that I wrote down is what's next and literally underneath it I wrote I don't know I don't know what's next right now I am investing into my S emotionally and like healing but also I'm thinking a lot about my professional trajectory and what's next for me in that area I'm getting ideas about like future plans and things that I can do and also contemplating if going back to the US would be a better place for me to start this journey I'm currently navigating all of that and thinking about my options and what's best for me so the last chapter that I have for this video is called addressing critique I titled this chapter that way because I want to make it very clear in this video the hunter Bern channel is my channel this is my video diary experience for my life no matter where I live no matter what I'm doing and I upload it for viewers to enjoy and to comment on and I appreciate everything that has come from this Channel and the opportunities that have come from here as well I do want to take ownership and accountability for creating such an open communication opportunity between me and you all when I see comments or messages from people that I don't agree with or ones that are posted with the intent to hurt and to harm I kind of navigate it in two different ways I either completely delete the comment altogether especially those that were derog towards my ex and also our relationship I had a no tolerance policy and I would just delete for the other ones where I felt like there was a teachable moment I would often respond and keep it short and sweet sometimes not always short and sweet and of course there are the DMS and the emails that I would receive where I would often respond respectfully and hear the person out but then also share where I'm coming from or my viewpoints etc etc what's prompting this is I received an email from someone and they claim to be a subscriber for quite a period of time and they were discouraging me from creating this video honestly in the email they put my integrity and my ethics into question I am not someone who's going to argue with people online I I'm very chill but one thing I want to say is anyone who chooses to share their unsolicited advice or critiques to a total stranger online should really think about their motive think about how and why you feel so comfortable doing that to someone who you don't really know at the end of the day I encourage everyone who's watching this to just think think before you hit send think before you hit submit because I'm a real person my ex is a real person and there's no excuse for any hate now I'm not saying that the email that I received was was hurtful or harmful per se but what I'm saying is a boundary was crossed and I am not comfortable with that boundary being crossed so here right now I just I want to address that yeah and I I didn't want to belabor I didn't want to go too much into it just I have boundaries I choose to share what I share on this platform for a reason I still maintain my privacy in many ways like even look at this video I'm I'm not here to give details about anything I'm just sharing how I'm feeling as I move forward on my channel and also how I move on with my life yeah as someone who does share their life online I am completely comfortable coming on here and telling you all how I'm feeling and what's going on I hope that all those who were invested watch this video and now the ball is in your court if you choose to stick around and join me on my life and where it's going from here welcome subscribe like the video so I'll definitely keep posting on YouTube this is truly becoming a passion of mine creating videos and editing those videos for online consumption yeah if you were here for the international interracial content I I completely understand if you choose to unsubscribe I don't blame you in any way and I thank you for spending the time with me and with us up until this point yeah moving forward I am just going to keep doing my best that's ultimately all that I can do and I am empowered I am whole and I will be okay so this feels like the official end we took our time to end things together we met and settled everything and this really feels like the the closing of that that chapter the end of that chapter thank you once again for watching this video um I hope that some of my words brought some sort of comfort and Solace for anyone who's also going through a tough time of loss or transition or heartbreak I watched so many videos before filming mine to build my confidence yeah I'm I'm belaboring I'm belaboring the the the ending but thank you thank you all for watching and I'll be okay and I'll I'll see you next time bye [Music] [Music]

Channel: Hunter Brenaé

Views: 35,532

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Id: a_PNAb8pFhI

Length: 13min 32sec (812 seconds)

Published: Sun May 05 2024