Was it Something I Said? Uncut 01x01 Episode 1

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welcome to was it something I said the panel show all about quotations that takes on the daunting task of analyzing anything ever said by anyone ever for instance Tony Blair once said my soul is and always will be that of a rebel that's debatable Tony Blair's got a soul of mickey Flanagan's team tonight is actor author and man who's dealing for the Inland Revenue our above reproach Charlie Higson and with Richard I Ord is comedian and writer Jimmy Carr and here to read our quotations is an actor who once said of his first day at school I'd never had a fight before but I remember laying him out flat and I never had any more trouble that's certainly one way to deal with a math teacher starrock homeland David Harewood so our first round is called threesomes all our panelists have to do is match a series of quotes to one of three celebrities you can also play along at home by following apps something I said on Twitter to unlock extra clips the theme of this week's threesomes is ego can we have the first quotation please David I can go into restaurants and a whole table will get up and clap if they recognize me in a minute I'll give you three people to choose from but any initial thoughts about that I think they say surely this is some sort of sporting so the only the only time I've ever seen this is when footballers walking to a restaurant and they've just won a thing and everyone goes crazy and nuts and I could imagine that again again yeah the match isn't nope I call it a game okay I mean football is a game I'm not gonna disagree they call it a game of kicks you call soccer born a game of kicks a game of kicks well you're not real fan how dare you one of those men if one of the game X if a grown man who wears shorts for a living and yours kicks walked into a restaurant you get up and crap in wouldn't you I doubt I'd recognize a man who played the game of kicks for a job also we're dismissing the possibility that this is a slow hand clap of derision yeah just not really yeah so it could be someone very obese there's a slow hand clap wait than to get to the table I think you're more likely to do a trombone noise I won't if anyone really our faces ever walked into an all-you-can-eat buffet and the guy's gone are you ever allow crucial difference the crucial difference in between this country and America is we've got eat as much as you like they've got eat all you can oh yeah it's like a sense of challenge in that isn't there in some restaurants in American actually give you a free meal to take home which is okay I think that's it does it take away man I'm gonna narrow down your options who said I can go into restaurants on a whole table get up and clap if they recognize me was it media mogul Rupert Murdoch singer Lady Gaga or Ugandan dictator Idi Army I mean he I mean if he was in Uganda I feel there would be a sense of we back up and clap you know what he's like it's all the heady when he gets cross yeah really as if cannibalism as well you know you don't to end up on the menu do you did he really eat someone is that a real thing there were rumors his family did try to sue the makers of the King of Scotland for implying that he was a cannibal hmm did they think that would worsen his reputation yeah I've gotta say legally his on shaky ground in terms of libel generally being about your reputation wasn't he's dead you can't libel the dead so you say what you lie about the dead you know Hitler was gay he can't sue you just leave Hitler alone haven't we had enough black we had one bad seven to eight year patch everyone's on it I'm gonna give you a clue okay I can tell you the person that said this also said they'd like to be remembered as being a catalyst for change in the world I don't think it can be Rupa mode where an earth would he walk in where people were yeah Mordor I suggest gotta be Gaga or isn't it we didn't know people would recognize they're in a weird way she's kind of a pushy I think I saw her on the tube once I think I genuinely I think I saw her on the tube I saw someone really dressed down no makeup in a hoodie on the tube I said the hell of an anecdote and I think it was her I mean yeah it doesn't really ya don't yeah it doesn't build like gym in the second half of that story and just said a shoe I saw on the channel and she had a shit in the corner of the chair the Shepherd is the calf is she reading Metro she was not released and stand up say I saw Nicole maybe it wasn't our sorry so do you think Lady Gaga Charlie and lucky charm thinking more I'm focus if he comes in and he's in charge of Uganda yeah but he's saying if they recognize me we won't recognize him but that's why I say wouldn't say if they recognize many would say when I go in restaurants people clap mmm alright so we're saying Lady gaga that's your team's answer Lady Gaga Lady gaga I'm Richard and Jimmy I think that's got idea written all over it I I think I think it's him you you think I think Lady Gaga sounds like the kind of thing that she would say you have to decide is it okay fine yes you're saying I feel like we could fall out if I got this wrong the thing is I've said it so I can always go yeah Jimmy what then I can vote so let's go for LG okay well go it's win-win if you're right you get the point if rich is right he gets to goat you know you know it's like my marriage every saying this Lady Gaga well the answer is Rupert Murdoch oh oh you're all wrong o gloat no I thought it was Lady gaga why would you say that after you've been told you crazy for how did you get the part of a CIA bigwig you know do you know I auditioned for the heart in my bedroom in my bedroom I recorded myself on my phone and I uploaded it online and they said yes you're the man to play the head of the CIA why are you doing an English voice now can you do your homeland voice please these are completely fictitious and made-up character I can't really make him up David David wife I still will start you off god I can do all that sense Donna Wow so favor how you're thawing what I say give me a line I send them all to Guantanamo Bay and then drown them a bit okay here we go send them all to Guantanamo Bay and then drama the bit baby can I ask you a question did you know whether he was gonna blow himself up at the end or not you all I ever seen is they become we have our next quotation on the edge of ego please I myself consider myself the most powerful figure in the world once again it one of Rupert Murdoch Lady Gaga or indie army the way it's phrased it sounds like a line or bar sort of Oliver the musical I myself consider myself in the world it sounds the artful dodger way discovered cocaine Moses yo'self said it Orca shooting myself most Bulgarian brute that's exactly the voice I fagor there every copy some stars people can't love that their charity bondage as in Daytona baby no one asked you because you're from therming did you never come out a character and sort of go what do you fucking mean he's gonna blow himself I've got one of my Birmingham accent on my first day at drama school why would you do a thing like that you you could you have to some people very difficult ooh get rid of their native accent yeah I'm with my left left me I'll put my I thought my identity was just lost to the poor people and I said talk to me I need to talk to me again it's a thousand voices so who do you think said this who's most likely artful dodger out of Rupert Murdoch I'm leaning towards Eddie I mean on this one I think I think he's got me Erika she's so deluded she lady cooker Jimmy and Richard ever ever guess what you think we're not we were just playing with you actually we know but we're just trying to like bumbling fucks yeah good we're gonna go for Rupert because oh you're changing yeah despite the aperture can't see I know he was quite big in Uganda she's quite good so much sing what's on there yes I think he would say something like that he would genuinely consider himself to be that important I think Lady gaga she's culturally incredibly important and she knows it okay those are your answers well they're both wrong the answer is beyond me how would he have sounded when he said that Mickey if I close my eyes now what would he's voice of sounded like sound the same with your eyes open the eye right do you know what title ID I mean like to be known by mr. Lister no that's quiet not a squire madatha know he used to like to be known as his Excellency president for life Field Marshal al Haj dr. Idi Amin Dada VC DSO MC Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the sea and conquer of the British Empire in Africa in general and Uganda in particular Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the sea that's that's nice it's quite a claim what about frogs leaving the frogs out he's leaving bird life out except when they land he's leaving out gas gas leaving out dolphins aren't included as no don't say over what they do Rock doesn't get a look-in he's leaving out trees flora all flora marjorine he's off what about penguins we see in charge of penguins a penguin is definitely a beast of the earth I'd say he saw their mums the last time you looked at a penguin it will fuck that fer you're late crash death okay a fish are mainly invited himself to London six months after coming to power over coffee at Buckingham Palace the Queen asked him tell me mr. president to what do we owe the unexpected honor of your visit any idea what he replied so what did he am saline what do you mean did he just turned up you can't just turn up you can if you're President of Uganda did he try and propose to her or something did he proposition her no he said to explain his visit in Uganda Your Majesty it is very difficult to find a pair of size 14 shoes did he think she was running clocks I suppose he was thinking I'll pop in on my way to Clarks I think he was flirting because there's a thing with big feet and that being you know people thinking that you might have a large it's just being addressed of me I'm Leon do you flirt with was he saying a big high school team I don't know well if I said to you I don't know Jimmy you try now if I said boys I'm here to quiz about quotations not to go through the psychodrama with you easy you're so close to me one thing we did common face Jimmy can you see how far back I'm leaning as I can lean I don't like this moment anything about it let's stop the moment why can't this start let's not start I think I should stop so at the end of our threesomes round I can tell you that the teams are tied over the break see if you can complete this quotation from Charlie Chaplin in 1914 when he was renegotiating his contract with Keystone studios all I need to make a comedy is what tweaked your answer to act something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes welcome back to was it something I said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from Charlie Chaplin all I need to make a comedy is what any thoughts panel his moustache Charlie Chaplin's moustache was Hitler's based on his knee I can't believe you're trying to mine Hitler Fatima oh I think I know this a park a policeman and a pretty girl because it's a literate 'iv also that scenario now is cause for concern no longer applies in comedy could we have the full quotation please all I need to make a comedy is a park a policeman and their pretty girl yes the full quote was all I need to make a comedy timing yes the full boat was all I need to make the partition you begin to make me look like a Maura yes the full quote was all I need to make a comedies a park a policeman and a pretty girl also all that's needed to end a promising career as a politician I'm David you you're known for very serious and intense roles we ever wanted to be the clown that's how I started acting just messing around at the back of our class at school how good is your voice why is my phone so nasal and weird voice is amazing because I think it's the theater I love the fit so yeah oh I'll try and think of that well as always I'd love to train I have a training how dare you I where is where is your training did you train to here come in you know I didn't train in anything I literally have no skills no I have nothing I don't have any skills either I have no skills that humans actually need I can only BEC right you're a plasterer you're a painter and decorator and patriot and what I can do is I can sit bind an inexplicably shiny desk and poorly read things but you know in a survival situation these skills are not needed to read things out they'll eat you before they leave me now our next round is called keywords we give our panelists a few keywords and ask them to work out the whole quotation so for instance if we gave you fight and beaches you would of course have to work out a quotation from Churchill or from a lifeguard in Magaluf okay here's one from US President Abraham Lincoln taken from one of the greatest speeches of American history every American school kid knows this quote but do our panelists as your first clue David can we have two keywords please score and seven that is a very famous quote it's the Gettysburg Address I can't necessarily get it word-for-word but I think it was I didn't do very well in my local pub darts tournament I only got a score of seven four score and seven years isn't it something that may well be part of it but I'm going to need more of it okay four score and seven years ago we started America that's the gist of it and it was based on the principle of all men are equal that's the gist it is you're in the right area can we have the third key word please David equal like Jimi suspected equal yeah something's I'm gonna bull min all men are created equal which I don't thinks I said on what my girlfriend says is not the case some of our ex-boyfriends have been terrific at stuff well I'm going to I'm gonna I'm gonna press C to a specific guess I'm gonna have a bash but I was okay not gonna be right have a bash is it four score years ago and seven our forefathers declare that all men shall be equal I'll take that and I'll raise it four score and seven years ago our forefathers that's what I said I founded this country on the principle of equality principle that all the earth that all in or equal early if both I mean your cock redneck can we have the full rotation please in an American accent four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in Liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal teams it very well you got the full school in seven years and they all men are created equal there wasn't so much a new nation conceived in Liberty coming forward but you know when that came up I didn't even know he was oh yeah I didn't know who he was I just thought who is together you start the leasing of a Mumford & Sons those words are the opening line from Lincoln's Gettysburg Address delivered on November 19th 1863 in Gettysburg yes and it is regarded as one of the greatest speeches in American history along with ouch from George W Bush when you fell off that platform so at the end of our key words round a quick look at the scores tells me that Richards team is in the lead Nexxus around called what are they talking about you're going to hear a quote that's been taken completely out of context an idea we got from the Daily Mail is work out what the hell that person is talking about here's a quotation from actress Catherine zeta-jones can we hear it please David it happened once and we thought there were paparazzi around so we had to go into the bushes I think is a classic piece of misdirection you want us all to think it's something rude and they were having oral sex to cure his throat cancer but it's probably and bird watching I'm very happy to go down the oral sex rope I'm sorry that's not I was I mean you can imagine him now he'd probably get halfway down her and go well going but if his halfway down isn't he in the right place I star the tick's okay sorry I'm just trying to think of the scale I don't suck my wife's head this is not about oral sex they were playing golf at the time I said they were doing something unrespectful whilst playing golf that's for you to guess I bet they were swimming naked in a lake or somewhere playing golf we've established that wasn't playing go they were playing God we thank open they are playing home they were playing golf they're playing golf all the time no when morning then they go where's the clubs come on hey you're playing golf at that time the scenario she's describing so they were playing golf no they won't play golf they were playing golf okay they were playing golf naked did a bird shit on them did something they need to pee do they I don't know these are plausible answers but they're not correct well let's see des we can we have the full quotation we have a rule if he ducks a ball and it doesn't go over the woman's t he has to expose himself like his pants down it happened once and we thought they were paparazzi around so we had to go into the bushes so hang on so if he hits the ball if he saw makes it messes up the shot he's got to flash yeah I mean that's really incentivized the paparazzi to follow them round the hole 18 holes she's saying this as though it really is a rule but this isn't a rule you can play golf without doing this they have that rule yeah but I'm saying they find jobs insufficiently interesting there's additional movies what's not clear of course is what does she mean by pants yeah does she mean trousers so he's just has to show his boxer shorts you know little bit embarrassing but you know not the end of world or does he have to actually get his cock out he'll days would be make his cock out in shame for being such a weak golfer is he a JIT over the years is golf gets weaker and weaker she's shamed him more and may your cock you have even barely fat now you lose do it in the bushes okay someone photographed your sad old cock yeah get furtively out of your trousers and show it to you it's fucking dolphin sheet you think he necessarily just always gets his cock out or do you think they played a cock and ball game what's the cock and ball game where you just you expose a little bit and you yeah your opponent has to guess is that cock or ball this is it this is a game you've never weighed fuck or ball we'll play now fuck out of it you've gotta tell me who the risk our core ball that's a vagina we were closer you were closer so you won't get the point well though coming back around the scores are tied little break season complete this quotation from rock star Ozzy Osbourne some he said on The Osbournes TV show when talking about his regrets could have been worse I could have what tweet your answer to at something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes welcome back to was it something I said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from Ozzy Osbourne could have been worse I could have what any thoughts panel married Sharon Oh bollocks I did the most famous thing you did was bite the head off a bat who think it could have did he do that really you did but that was it was a ND source bat for someone my threw someone threw about onto the stage and he thought it was a plastic bat he thought I what an amusing thing I'll bite the head off this bear and crunched into it and quickly realized ah then cook this house let those the dead bats yes that was a finish no before knew what how do I understand is the throat on to stay for I didn't that bat just fly off maybe the bat had died that afternoon and the only fault how would he really like to see yeah who better than to take him to a gig in Xhosa Ozzy bite see now and then he got notice see a good friend it's what he would have won it he was about it's it's not that no David could we have the complete quote please the correct quote is could have been worse I could have been sting Oz he has also said out of everything I've lost I miss my mind the most was it something I said round in which each team has to work out who said the following quotations it'll either be from one of us on the show tonight or from our virtual guest Piers Morgan so obviously the stakes in the show have just shot up as everyone on the panel stares right down the barrel of the possibility that a quote of theirs is about to be judged the sort of thing Piers Morgan might say so first up is Mickey's team who said the following was it Rich's Jimmy David me or Piers Morgan I think I had mild midlife crisis when I was 26 people having them earlier it's the door with like speeding up so was it Richard Jimmy David me or Piers Morgan well I can't say between Jimmy other courses nah and I can't I might be David just having a continual crisis yeah David was middle-aged when he was about 13 I made was quite heavily towards David yes yeah which David that one me yeah the hairy one that that's the only way I can tell your part yeah that your answer there was a you hairy David well no it wasn't me it was Jimmy Carr oh so you pansy it was it good to get you in midlife crisis with over got any other way yeah left my job and when started doing stand-up yeah yeah it's like a not a full midlife crisis but you know you just wait when you get a proper midlife crisis when did happens in the proper midlife crisis what wafak all hell breaks loose can we have the next air quotation please David I was a bailiff one summer I do it for about two hours and I just left I couldn't stand it so was it Richard Jimmy David me or Piers Morgan we can rule you out can you you would never been a bailiff I'm handy pay up while we're taking the motor it's like I'm in the room yeah they ruling me and we're ruling your ass I'm gonna rule Richard right out even though he is a fan of Hitler I cannot seem is about to be a proper bailiff I think you have to have a real clear line between what's right and wrong see that was Jimmy yeah yeah he's got the physical presence there - thank you very much not you and he can act he could got what by didn't want to do relation I'll get my foot balmy Birmingham oh sorry love what could have to take him at the same time it could be Piers Morgan so it's a toss-up between David over there Piers Morgan we're gonna say Piers Morgan either say Piers Morgan here well you're wrong it's David oh we were so close what's the story there well when we were at drama school we all basically had to do take summer jobs it's to kind of get through and you kind of turned up at this place and they just allocated you a job sometimes it was cleaning and sometimes it was doing whatever and this one day I was allocated his job as a bailiff and I kind of went to the first house and there was this little old lady then we had to go in and take her cabinet job as a burglar she'd obviously paid for this cabinet on HP and she couldn't afford it and we had to take it not put it in the van and I just said I'm sorry I'm off and I just got out and walked home have you still got the cabinet though give you a fair price for it it's not what you think of people buying on hire purchase is it a cabinet it was like I'm very versed on the street there's a sissies of poor old ladies got into trouble because of her elaborate cabinet habit oh I mustn't has such a beautiful cabinet my knickknacks in just that one cabinet said I've got nine other cabinets I still have you faithful it was a nice confident I mean I would have had it yeah well you do so next up it's Richards team who said the following was it's Mickey Charlie David me or Piers Morgan I like waging feuds they get me going and make me perform better I don't start them but I always finish them as Piers Morgan surely also make me perform better I mean that's a twat I hope it's not something in this room we will category say that and was said by a twat and we think it's Piers Morgan but if there's anyone here we'll stand by the twat remark okay this is great a 20 this is these are the words of a twat okay well the answer is Piers Morgan expecting if I met my 16 year old self now I probably think he was a bit of a twat there was it Mickey Charlie David me or Piers Morgan I think it's David I think that might be in your biography I think you might have said that in a kind of self-deprecating kind of a I used to play a lot of board games and you think I would now disrespect a teenage player board game maybe mother than envy him his amorous lifestyle now you were in a band weren't you Charlie I was yes Jill you were in bands when you're 16 no I was I was a bit of a twat did you say as watertight as that is I I do think it's David or whatever hang on what was Mickey doing when he was 16 I imagine yeah yo dick what couple of kids yeah just coming to the end of me drinking days well I think it's Charlie you think it's David let's go Mickey the compromise position Mickey I'm happy with that well the answer is Charlie Higson who's that no clue he said he said he was a Tony were 16 was that our closure we're not gone with her he said it I said it we both heard and I said what we should go for him and then you said I just you look so like Roger Federer to me all I'm thinking is why am I playing tennis feels like we've had a real great only in communication well I'm afraid that all we've got time for and a quick look at the scores tells me this week's winners are richer than Jimmy to Ricky and Charlie Richard and Jimmy and to our guest narrator David Harewood and we leave you with a surprising revelation from Virginia Woolf one has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people's throats and one always secretes too much jelly and I believe Virginia Woolf successively secreted jelly is now available at Waitrose back for more was it something I said on Sunday night at 10 o'clock and next Friday night channel 4 unleashes a brand-new comedy Greg Davis is teetering on the edge meet our main man down at 9:30 next night the pumpkins are coming out time to party London Irish Halloween

Info

Channel: Vladut Alecsandru

Views: 4,803,134

Rating: 4.8738475 out of 5

Keywords: David Mitchell, Micky Flanagan, Richard Ayoade, Charlie Higson, Jimmy Carr, David Harewood

Id: E9ccGttZBBs

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 35min 45sec (2145 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 14 2013

Reddit Comments

Ι will not click this, if I do thе rest of my day will be spent оn British Panel Shows via YouTube аnd I have things to do today.

👍︎︎ 104 👤︎︎ u/KeanusDracula 📅︎︎ Dec 18 2015 🗫︎ replies

Richard Ayoade is the worst at Yes And.

👍︎︎ 9 👤︎︎ u/phredtheterrorist 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

I love Richard, the reaction is like it's straight out of IT Crowd.

👍︎︎ 13 👤︎︎ u/hover_boy 📅︎︎ Dec 18 2015 🗫︎ replies

sense the genuine hatred

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/Tobotron 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

This explains so much about Hank Henshaw

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/pokebud 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

That was awesome. Now commencing watching the whole first season.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/sdk2g 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

That scene is way better with the context question. Jimmy was talking about how looking for big shoes meant having a big penis and that's why it's funny.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/EpicGuard 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

God, I hate Jimmy Carr so much. #PayYourTaxesAsshole

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/Soylopeor 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/bringmecorn 📅︎︎ Dec 19 2015 🗫︎ replies