Walter For President

shut the hell up I have something else to say right now Walter this is a very special evening oh good lord you're not finally coming out of the closet I know know where you had something to say yeah well after traveling the country for so many years I discovered something I discovered that folks like me you like the way I think you liked my honesty and not just you black folks too sorry camera guy even the Indians you mean the Native Americans yeah you know the ones that go ahead not the ones you go oh thank you for Carly customer support this is Chuck you know I'm taking the opportunity of being in this city Washington DC in this beautiful theater to announce that I and now running for president of the United States Walker this is a very very important evening some folks might know a lot about you so would you like to take some questions from our audience oh yeah sure it is time for me to talk to my people all right so uh we got Walker I've always wanted to ask a professional this question so I'm gonna ask you how do you feel about the flat tax oh I'm for it anyone with tiny breasts should be taxed Mack Walter I really need some help how can I convince my girlfriend have sex on the patio I can get the lid your girlfriend had sex on our patio is that a political question I don't know how the hot guy on the patio okay Walter uh yeah we have Melvin out there but what would you do to stop terrorism oh what'd I do to stop terrorism the first time get to the Keith to write another song about putting a mood in their ass I tell you I love that guy then I'd send a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses over there to bang on their tents early in the morning just to piss them off and then maybe out of frustration they kill themselves Walter what's your secret to a long and happy marriage Oh do I look like the keeper of that knowledge no no well Tupperware yeah its lightweight it hurts less when she hits you in Walter why should I listen to you you don't know anything about politics well neither does Rosie O'Donnell and she won't stop me I think unless you shove cake in her mouth considering the deep divisions between the Republican Party and their differences on social political and economic policies do you think any of the candidates can rekindle the region's legacy well happens Walter what's the best way to end a fight with your spouse hit run who are you considering that's a vice presidential candidate who am i considering there's a vice presidential candidate leading the John McCain John McCain yeah he and I have a lot in common you do yeah he's old I'm old he's grumpy I'm grumpy he was a prisoner of war for more than five years I'm usually locked in the frickin suitcase thank you sir hola well what I say what I say I'll run Walter got a serious question for you yeah how do you tell your wife that you're gay Mariusz Walter what's your position on women's rights missionary Walter why does it take a guy for days to call girl back after first date Oh sometimes it takes that long to get drunk again Volta how do you feel about border control damn Canadians Walter my friends fiance won't let him have a bachelor party unless she's there what do we do Oh get her a pole and say dance water I'm dying to find out what do you think of Hillary oh I think success has gone to her ass yes thank you very much you

Channel: rusty6of6

Views: 7,266,997

Rating: 4.8601766 out of 5

Keywords: Jeff, Dunham, Comedy, Central, ventriloquist, comedy, Peanut, Walter, premiere, President

Id: 8--lrON9yzs

Length: 7min 17sec (437 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 17 2007