Vin Diesel: King of Cringe

over the past decade Vin Diesel has become an international movie superstar thanks in large part to his signature role as big bulb strongman and fast car movies Oh hold on actually he's uh he's the other one yeah there we go using his superhuman physique and almost supernatural deep voice Vin Diesel has carved out quite a niche for himself in Hollywood that doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon but while Vin has built a reputation as being a bit of a badass on screen off screen think our to get weird because when he doesn't have a script to fall back on and has to form words and God forbid sentences with this tiny little meatball brain things start to go south pretty quickly in the most fascinating way I love you but to understand who he is now we must start at the beginning Vin Diesel was born in 1932 inside of a burning building his father a camel worked in the famine industry which was thriving at the time you know maybe I don't need to do a video I say for everything brush tool' and perfect hey guy welcome back to the first and only channel on YouTube where as you can probably tell I moved and although I'll always cherish the memories I have from inside that cheap-ass apartment that was basically just one medium-sized room infested with cockroaches I'm excited to move on to this new more expensive chapter in my life the best thing about living in a house as opposed to the second floor of a three-story apartment is I no longer have to deal with upstairs neighbors which in my case happened to be six of the loudest human beings in the world that's right I said six they also lived in a one-bedroom apartment so try and figure that one out because I never did but that's all water under the bridge I suppose cuz things are already starting to look up for old drew in fact why don't I give you guys a quick tour of the place you already know you boys out you start in his house tour in bathroom but the fun doesn't end there guys cuz we also got another bathroom finally a man that I can pee at the same time without making it's big of a mess we've also got a garage which is so far proving to be the perfect place to hold all of my tools and best of all I no longer have to film videos in my living room because for the first time in my adult life I have my own office yeah [ __ ] I should exit out of that before we started filming that was embarrassing anyway guys say we're gonna talk about Vin Diesel I have to admit I've never actually seen any of the Fast & Furious movies but it seems like Vin Diesel is perfect at playing whatever character it is he's playing in those movies but they're definitely not targeted at me I've never really been much of a car guy it's just not in my DNA in fact my favorite thing about my car is the custom bumper stickers I made and put on my car I have a thread about that on Twitter if you're a fan of self-promotion but the point is I've never actually seen any two Fast and Furious movies or xxx or Chronicles of Riddick or the last witch hunter for that matter now that I think about it I'm pretty sure the only Vin Diesel movie I've seen is the pacifier the 2005 Disney classic where he plays like a Navy SEAL who has to babysit a bunch of kids as part of a recon mission predictably things get off to a bit of a rocky start but by the end he's teaching them a thing or two about self-defense the kids teach him about the power of family it's a great movie I've seen it like ten times anyway what I'm trying to say is I haven't seen a lot of Vin Diesel movies like I said in the beginning though this video isn't about his acting which is perfectly fine it's about what happens when he doesn't have a script the most popular example of Vin Diesel cringe was on this interview from a couple years ago with a Brazilian reporter and I'll only touch on this briefly because a lot of you probably already saw this this was on the h3 podcast but it's still worth talking about so the first few minutes of this interview are pretty normal he's just talking about the film he's in and it's a little bit of a history about his career and then he starts to bore himself any instead turns his attention to the interviewer and just bombards her with compliments but next was the first one and he got you so beautiful god she's so beautiful yeah am I right or wrong look at her how am I supposed to do this interview look at this woman she's so beautiful gone yo man talk to me baby let's get out of here let's go that's that's got lunch my god I love her look how beautiful she is thank you God Wow Wow he just keeps going at it and going at it and she does her best to get the interview back on track but then a few minutes later I guess his brain just can't handle this much conversation so he just goes back to like you are beautiful let's go home and [ __ ] man she's so [ __ ] sexist now I can't do this interview am I the only one that's saying it look at her she's so [ __ ] beautiful it's like you can't even do an interview with her cuz you're just like yeah it's kind of hard to watch but I guess that would be the definition of cringe so we're off to a good start beautiful world so that was a big deal a couple years ago rightfully so it's very weird but it doesn't even come close to ending there there's so much more so let's dive a little bit deeper but to do so we need to head over to Facebook Vin Diesel is the king of Facebook if you had to guess how many people currently like Vin Diesel's page on Facebook his fan page how many do you think 10 million 50 million not even close a hundred million people like the Vin Diesel fan page on Facebook Vin Diesel and Facebook are a match made in heaven and the main reason for that is Facebook live streams I'm doing a live guys so just have a seat and there's a good refund I've never seen someone used so many words to say so little watch the first 30 seconds of this one and see how much he actually says I'm giving you big hugs in a second I'm giving you big hugs in a second I'm doing a lie I'm doing it live I'll get big hugs in a second I'm doing a live I'm doing a live I am doing a live I'm doing a live and the reason why I'm doing alive is because oh wait I think I missed it what is he doing during a live oh he's doing alive okay after spending about two minutes saying that he's doing alive and eventually saying he's doing alive because he's thankful to Comcast I'm gas has come in and done wonders he says that you know it's Saturday night and while everyone's having fun as they should the cast of Fast and Furious is here brainstorming ideas we try to imagine what would excite you in the future what storylines you would like to see continued and we try to find that the truth in our mythology and we try to maintain the integrity that is that is what the Fast and Furious saga has become to on that for a while just to give you an idea of the type of people that will come and brainstorm with me he's always blowing up the spotlight you get the feeling that Michelle Rodriguez here and and everyone else in the room was like oh not again he's not doing another one of these things is he he's gonna incorporate us in it and he's not gonna say anything and we're just gonna just sit there and smile for several minutes you're watching a Facebook live right now that's right then that's what we're doing I guess what what this this vis this visual shows you is dedication and a commitment to integrity commitment to integrity so this is alive oh it's alive I wasn't sure I don't know about you guys but it's hard to even focus on what he's saying because all I can see is the giant ass thing and his teeth but you ready for this you want to see something guys just pay close attention to where it is and then watch this next clip I'm here because other Pech come on stop it Melissa it moved I've never seen that in my life this is comedy right here guys I don't want to hear anybody's else I was this idea of what comedy is because it's this we found it okay here's another live stream where he was at the Avengers infinity war premiere and he's talking to the camera he's addressing you know the live Facebook audience and then he goes to like another red carpet interview and like mid-sentence in the middle of his own sentence completely forgets that he's live-streaming and just casually puts his phone in his pocket look at that and it just continues to sit in there for the next ten minutes before he finally pulls it out and realizes what he did [Music] oh my god yo you guys have been in my pocket the whole time I mean he obviously handled it well but god that's hilarious this one actually starts off pretty normal but that only lasts about 90 seconds journeys you see then is a big fan of milestones he always celebrates a milestone with a live stream and he just hit a big 150 million but unfortunately thanks to some bad timing he is traveling when he hits it he's on a plane in the middle of his big day not to worry though he has a plan to make up for it he goes ahead and place this very special video that he seems to have filmed and edited himself as a bit of a special treat for the fans I mean don't get me wrong his silhouette looks very sexy but God did he not listen to that audio beforehand so that goes on for about five minutes and then he gots back to himself and says this [Music] he says nothing he doesn't say anything here's another live stream of his that was apparently right before he was going on Jimmy Kimmel nothing too crazy to see here except 60% of it is upside down there is one pretty weird interaction here though when he's talking to these football players backstage and he refers to himself as daddy daddy thank you guys and after making sure to establish himself as the biggest alpha male in the room he goes out and nails that interview purple purple maybe that's what it is I'll admit that it might be a little unfair of me to judge him too harshly based on live streams a lot of times in live streams you know I've done twitch a few times you say some weird things it's natural I don't have nipples on my ankles so I don't want to judge him too harshly for that but what we can do is look through some of his facebook posts now these are of course things that he had the idea to post thought about it decided yes I will post that and then he posted it so a lot of extra steps there a lot of room for potentially being like oh maybe I won't do that but he went ahead and decided anyway so these are prime Vin Diesel posts let's check them out here's a fan edit from 2015 where he is being sensually embraced by an elephant it's not so much the fact that this picture exists but the fact that he chose to put it on his page Thank You world for making the new XXX the return of xander cage the number one movie in the world is the caption to this picture I'm not sure I see the correlation to accomplish great things we must dream as well as act great quote great picture what is with him an elephants I don't understand he's got some really good self quotes that he's used as cover photos like this one well love motivates me and everything I do Vin Diesel that's a perfectly good quote but why even include the well it's like he had to think about it for a second well love motivates me and everything I do protect our sacred places and then it's a picture of him standing in front of Stonehenge guys you've got to protect Stonehenge have you seen those rocks all stacked up on top of each other all funny-like we gotta protect them don't mind me just casually skipping past three consecutive photos that heavily feature elephants including this one where I suppose shirtless Vin Diesel is protecting New York from a giant elephant I don't understand and then finally we have this one from 2012 captioned angels and then it's well I don't even know what to say about this so findiso seems like a pretty wacky guy but it doesn't stop at internet videos or bunny memes or live streams there's one more thing I need to show you guys and I'm really excited about this I was gonna make a whole video about this a few months ago but then I just put it on the shelf for a while and then I realized while making this one that this would make for the perfect ending and no this isn't entirely about Vin Diesel I just want to go ahead and preface that now but he does have a pretty large role in this and I would be remiss if I went through this whole video without even mentioning it and the thing I'm talking about of course is the fast and furious ride at Universal Studios fast and furious supercharged is the newest attraction at Universal Studios Orlando and also coincidentally the worst ride I have ever been on in my life when my soon-to-be wife Amanda who used to work at Universal first took me on this ride a few months ago she prefaced it by saying that the line is better than the ride I'm pretty sure she meant this as a positive but after being underwhelmed by the fact that the line is essentially just a very long garage I started to get a bad feeling about what was in store for me the first red flag that pops up is the sheer plot of the ride I imagine between all 75 of the Fast and Furious movies they could have found one exciting storyline to be the centerpiece of this ride but instead here's the plot you and the rest of the people on board are on a party bus and you're on your way to a party but right before you get on the ride you find out that the FBI is here to raid the place they never say why or what the FBI is trying to find I guess it's us they're trying to crack down on us having fun I don't know but like that's plot of this ride why not just I don't know do a race and then we could just drive fast that would be fun I'd want to ride that instead you spend the entire six minutes sitting on a slow-moving bus watching the ride this isn't ideal for a theme park attraction but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if the thing you spent the whole ride watching wasn't a total cringefest sure you've seen bad acting at theme parks before but good god I thought these guys were professionals oh yeah there he is there's my guy he seems really happy to be a part of this also what the hell is this animation did they 3d animate each character using PlayStation 2 graphics they couldn't have just green-screen to this [ __ ] and spent more than I don't know four days on it this is embarrassing and I'm not the only one who feels this way the top comment on this POV YouTube video I'm borrowing some extra footage from is this the camera doesn't do it justice it's much worse in person this ride does its best to tarnish the great legacy that Universal Studios has always had in my eyes it's shittiness to me is highlighted by the fact that it's right next to the mummy ride which has been around forever and is the most fun indoor roller coaster I've ever been on I've gone on this ride probably a hundred times and it's still fun you ride the fast and furious ride once and it makes you want to throw away your annual pass I don't know how much they care though because they could have put literally anything here and it would still do its job of showcasing a few cool cars and the ridiculously overpriced hurch including this entire section of signed paraphernalia by Michelle Rodriguez anyway I'm getting off-topic this video is about Vin Diesel and as bad as this ride is it does do a good job of saving the best for last you see I was pretty disappointed coming out of the ride until I spotted my Curro my knight in shining armour van it's crazy he has the time to stand perfectly still all day long considering all of his movies that are coming up but I'm so glad he does best day well that was fun I got to do that again sometime so what was your favorite part of the video yeah that was pretty funny but my favorite part of the video was the ad read which I'm now realizing I haven't done yet big hugs in a second guys doing an ad read during an ad read big hugs in one second I'm doing an ad read and the reason I'm doing an ad read is because today's video is sponsored by skill share we learned a lot today about our Lord and Savior Vin Diesel but if you're like me and you have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and you love to learn new things you're gonna want to sign up for skill shake skill share has thousands of online classes in literally any area of expertise you can think of the classes I tend to use the most tend to relate to filmmaking and video editing graphic design because I suck at graphic design and even as a somewhat veteran guitar player I actually found their guitar tutorial is very useful for example I finally learned how to properly hold this thing which is like this but it's not just extracurricular skills like that you can also learn more practical things like which foods are causing you to gain weight how to give the perfect foot massage how to meditate and I know exactly what you're thinking right now drew that sounds great and all but there's no way in hell that they have an entire class devoted to the one thing that I need which is learning how to design a recycling aquaculture system for fish farms and guess what [ __ ] you're wrong because they do you can get unlimited access to their entire online video library for less than $10 a month with an annual subscription you can also get your first two months free if you go to SK l sh slash drew gooden - or just click the link in the description because that's a lot easier this offer is only available to the first thousand people who sign up using this link so if you want to get a leg up on all the other fish farmers out there you're not gonna wanna wait thank you so much it's go straight for sponsor today's video remember guys link in the description if you are interested in signing up that's gonna do it for today as always if this video gets 1 billion likes I will legally marry Joey salads whether he wants me to or not remember to comment a very specific reference to this video so you can prove to me that you actually watched it and hit that subscribe button as fast and as furiously as humanly possible don't forget to tune in next week to see me get stuck in a tree goodnight everyone [Music]

Channel: undefined

Views: 5,645,560

Rating: 4.8839312 out of 5

Keywords: drew gooden, comedy, funny, h3h3, lol, commentary, reaction, vine, drew gooden vine, parody, vin diesel, cringe, facebook cringe, vin diesel cringe, fast and furious, universal

Id: TJvHHgGerJg

Length: 20min 0sec (1200 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 21 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/ObsoleteOctopus]

Great house, keep it up, proud of you