VIGILANTE being iconic (Peacemaker humor)

when i find out someone murdered an innocent person or sold somebody heroin or did some graffiti and i killed that person with my bare hands their eyeballs popping out of their skulls you think that gives me pleasure no well it does [Applause] just work it and work it get my little tissue out it's my famous butt dance my butt dance my butt down who's the guy that's peeking out behind the trash can [ __ ] it's it's vigilantes trying to be helpful hey get out of here what i'm just looking for behind a trash can it's a normal thing to do the hell it is are you a psychiatrist what then don't tell me what's normal maybe my secret identity is a psychiatrist and i know what's normal we're born killers what separates us from other killers is we only kill bad people usually unless there's a mistake now do i sound like a [ __ ] maniac dude i'm your best friend they're not well who's your best friend then someone you met in prison i knew it i wanna make sure you're okay i don't trust these people i'm fine just remember even if they end up being okay to work with they're still not gonna be good friends and none of them is the time to be a best friend okay i'm just chuckling even thinking about it okay bro the bigger question is what's going on with you me we used to go out kill bad guys boom boom boom no problem we accidentally kill the wrong person oh shoot bummer that stinks then we move on if one of them does become a friend it should be her because there's a bunch of rumors going around about you being racist and you know frankly it's a little embarrassing for me as if i become a racist by osmosis even though i mostly kill white people so catch you guys later [Music] what are you doing if i keep changing my facial expressions he won't be able to recognize me in a lineup [ __ ] it cut off all his toes i don't care dude if someone doesn't have their pikachu they fall over it's the most important toe in the human body i don't think that's true listen i've been meaning to thank you for allowing me to be tortured last night i realized you were you were just supporting me and helping me to become the best me that i could be someone who doesn't spill the beans while being electrocuted and having half his toe cut off you seem to be walking okay well i'll probably never walk as good again but it's worth it you know for being more evolved human beings so thank you [ __ ] that supposed to mean if it walks like a duck it's either a duck or a duck wearing some type of human costume i don't know he's unable to hide his distinctive walk how the [ __ ] could that even happen how would what happen a duck in a human costume the sizes are completely incompatible i don't know ducks are sneaky i guess i guess that's the whole point of the phrase that and they could give two shits about their best friend's pinky toe like that's him now too [Music] vigilante no you sound like him no i don't that's a fake voice ner changed from what it was two seconds ago i was about to cough but yeah this this is more of my real voice why are you limping snowboarding accident totally unrelated in any way to vigilante i don't even know who vigilante is who is he might even be a she i have no way of knowing except the vigilante's voice sounds like mine according to you [Music] who is this vigilante have you seen peacemaker vigilante i i don't know that person that's um is that even a name i'm sounds italian i'm i'm i'm american so but i can't even where are you going vigilante and we might as well get this done before they find us what done kill this [ __ ] cow we are cool vigilante's being a total freak dude they saw us peacemaker and i were wanted what other choice do we have besides killing this veterinarian this nurse and this male nurse i'd make a collage of three of us buckets and chicks with a bunch of dolphins around us doing beer bongs in a corvette this be weird waking up every day and being a male nurse you're a [ __ ] busboy oh great now we definitely have to kill him cause you're giving away stuff about my secret identity see when they put my mug shot up in the post office it's just gonna be a circle with a red visor and they're gonna have to figure out what my head looks like based on the shape and i know i have a bony face because i don't do face muscle exercises but that doesn't cut down very much on the suspects goth why did you put a peace sign on the jar yes or no it's yes or no it's only [ __ ] yes or no question that's a lot of rules two [ __ ] rules two one yes or no two don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ] how am i supposed to follow that second rule [Music] you're not bringing that oh come on please [Music] ah [ __ ] i'm never ever gonna kill someone with a [ __ ] chainsaw it's so not fair total [ __ ] [ __ ] how are ants a more important part of the circle of life than like fish is that a serious question what there are shitloads of ants how many fish are there okay i'm as confused as [ __ ] by this conversation yeah well welcome to the [ __ ] club one you believe says a lot about your character yeah about how insane you are i love this back and forth thing we have going it's not as deep as like what peacemaker and i have but it's [ __ ] cool [Music] dude this is a really weird time to do your face exercises i mean i guess you don't get a totally sick jacked face like yours without dedication but he's crying [ __ ] oh [Music] tender and ice touching do you all want to be here till tomorrow [Music] do you have cable so i don't want to stay here overnight so there's no cable bar goes on tonight it was a rhetorical question oh okay well then i changed my answer to just ignoring the question not another word you did just kill the only man who knows how to make it i know bro i was being sarcastic well if you're gonna be sarcastic you should really warn people so there's no confusion what for instance like i'm about to be sarcastic okay okay you're not fat at all see taylor swift's sexy butt what your last search [Music] oh no that's um just because i wanted to see some pictures of her sexy butt we guess this means butterflies can use any life form as a host chihuahua probably wouldn't fit would be cool though that wouldn't be cool at all why would that be cool you tell me it wouldn't be there's your answer oh i would read anything you wrote dude i bet you could do some bomb poetry can you do it there's no wrong time to rock [ __ ] [Music] what the [ __ ] are you doing i don't have to tell you that [ __ ] your face down on the ground now fine i don't care i'll get on the ground all day long hey what's up fellas but you toads seem like the coolest guys in this place so i was thinking you know like we should get to know each other what let's pick a topic and then everyone goes around in a circle and says her feelings on that topic which one of you dumb sister [ __ ] tiki torch carrying sloth from the goonies looking pieces of [ __ ] wants to go next who the [ __ ] are you you're first cool okay wait no let me guess your favorite contribution to black american culture was all the black guys who [ __ ] your mom in the ass while you watched from the closet jerking off hey man what's up what's up adrian hey the reason i'm excited it is normal uh i just found out this girl that i'm seeing she's pregnant you know when you're happy she's pregnant yeah because we are going to have an abortion oh yeah good luck thank you yeah hey you're invited if you i don't want to come to your abortion man that's cool hey dude that was a really interesting conversation that you guys had [ __ ] you doing here man i followed you guys in my vigilante mobile did you get a vigilante mobile you've been in it the sebring is that the [ __ ] trash can guy what do you want me to do paint it purple and put a big red v on the hood i'd get instantly pulled over no just don't call it a [ __ ] visual anymore it's a sebring what [ __ ] dude i know you're here get out of the bushes i don't know what you're talking about what is he supposed to be a talking bush i i don't even understand what he's trying to do [ __ ] hey dude move over for a second [Music] [Music] i mean i didn't care because i don't have emotions like people do dude you're shot you got to be admitted i'm fine seriously all i need is a good nap gilani here what's going on man uh what do you say we go crucial crime and some [ __ ] whichever comes first uh bff stands for best friends for p it's v are you watching this game dude it is so dude uh i realized in that last message uh i called you p and me v as if you were a penis and i was a vagina that like definitely was it was not my intent

Channel: Sunflower

Views: 1,039,445

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Id: A2jmGnnqEQA

Length: 10min 22sec (622 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 26 2022