UPDATE 1Year LATER: Brother's GF Posts Secret On Social Media So I Plan To Send Screenshot To Bro

my twin and i 31 male and female have been very close as our parents both passed away early and we ended up living with my uncle who very clearly did not want us our lives were going relatively fine until i became a mother at 21 and dropped out of college to focus on my mental health the pregnancy took a huge toll i didn't manage to graduate in the end and ended up in retail but my brother did graduate and worked extra hard to both get great working experience and good grades to help supplement my income and with his help we managed to make things work since then our paths diverged he has become a successful business owner and i am happy with the craft-related job i have which allows me to work from home and gives me time to take care of my own set of twins we've remained close though and he has not stopped taking care of my kids since his business took off about five years ago he has paid for most if not all of the kids expenses and contributing to their savings while i'm not a hundred percent sure of his income i can safely say it is probably in the mid to high six figures he spends probably about a hundred thousand each year on the kids in various forms investments gifts schooling etc when he first started dating jane and the kiddos were little she was not happy that he would stay over sometimes to help babysit overnight to give me a break and spend time with the kids instead of going out with her she was also unhappy that we slept in the same bed when he did that i was in a one bedroom apartment at the time and the alternative was basically a wooden platform that doubled as my couch he stopped doing both at her behest but she never really liked me after that throughout the past four years she has been throwing snide remarks around about my brother paying for my kids which i accept because he is paying for them and that is his choice but recently she posted a disgusting comment on social media implying that my brother was the father of my twins and how disgusting it was that i was forcing him to pay for them it was deleted within the hour but i managed to get a screenshot i have thus two questions am i the idiot for accepting his financial help to give my kids a better life than the one i can afford he has expressed many times over the years that he is extremely happy to do so would i be wrong for sending the screenshot to my brother knowing him it would probably mean the end of their relationship as he did not treat the last guy who implied that in front of me well and cut ties with him edit to add the twins bio father is not and will never be in the picture as my brother's business took off earlier my brother asked me to spend more time at home with the twins as my earlier retail jobs had me out 50 plus hours a week my current job has earned me more money over the years as i've been able to build up a stock of digital patterns for sale of course i wouldn't be able to provide the same quality of life if i raise them on my money alone and i'm not so proud that i have to yank them out of their schools activities lives just so that i can say i raised them alone yes his girlfriend knew of the arrangement early on in their relationship last i asked he said he had no plans for kids of his own you are not the idiot i'd send it he seems like a lovely guy and he loves you and the kids if it was causing him financial stress it'd be different but he's choosing to help out which is just so nice he may as well know she feels this way before he puts a ring on it she's probably more jealous though and that translates to anger she's concerned that her future with him will always be tied with you which it will and she'll never be able to win because it shouldn't be a competition i get what you're saying but a hundred thousand a year is way more than helping out to me what i worry is that in the event he isn't able to pay for them anymore can op support her kids exactly why do you feel comfortable with your brother completely taking care of your kids they are your kids not his so no your craft job does not allow you to care for your kids you're literally choosing to live off of your brother why haven't you gotten a job or tried to better yourself so you don't have to depend on your brother to survive i'm going to say it you are the idiot you're not even trying to understand his girlfriend's point of view the facts are you are a full-grown adult who is not taking care of your own family you seem like you have no intentions of setting up to help your brother you just mentioned he makes a lot of money which makes it seem as though it's good enough for you he has his own future to think about and it shouldn't revolve around you i honestly don't even see how you could just continue to take and take for so many years and when someone finally tries to confront you about it you try to make yourself seem like a victim did you miss the part where her brother's s.o basically accused her of having his kids i don't know how that could translate to making o.p the idiot her brother is obviously happy to do it and if he wasn't then he would have stopped or mentioned it the brothers so literally thinks her boyfriend is the father of op's children that is so sick and disgusting update on am i the idiot because my twin's s.o is angry he's helping me to raise my kids wow it's been almost a year i just remembered this account and thought i'd log in to give an update in the end i didn't let my brother know of the screenshots until after they broke up she was pressuring him to get married and he didn't want to all things considered 2020 could have gone worse the twins have adapted well to the many many changes in school environments this year and i'm so proud of them i'm also earning quite a lot more this year due to the global issue as more people are crafting seeing how so many people thought i was a leech gave me quite the shock honestly i would never stop putting my kids first and that includes making sure that they have access to everything they need even if that means accepting money so that they have a better life but it also made me re-evaluate what i'm doing for me and what would happen in the next 10 years so i'll be going back to finish my bachelor's the credits still count in the fall this year thanks for your comments i remember this post and i remember thinking you were totally not the idiot i'm very happy to hear their relationship is over also it was really big of you not to share those screenshots good luck with your degree i am very happy and proud of you for continuing your education as for the rest it's okay to accept help from family but you have to understand your situation was is uncomfortable for most people who would potentially date either of you i can't imagine why he didn't just buy a couch or even a bed for himself to stay in when he comes over considering he spent a hundred thousand per year on you and your kids people thinking you're a leech would rather have a single mother and two young children struggling because they don't like the fact that your brother takes care of them by his own free will those guys would go against the will of everybody involved make people's life worse just because they think help is forbidden a hundred thousand is kind of ridiculous to be honest glad you seem to be more motivated to start providing on your own now it will likely take some pressure off your twin too as i imagine this would be a deal breaker for most potential romantic partners yet he may be reluctant to actually tell you that good luck my wife lost our baby a week ago she is absolutely beside herself i was very upset as well but at the same time i know that it was obviously not meant to be especially when it happened so early into the pregnancy before anybody could really form an attachment my dad is kind of a character in my family in our entire extended family everybody else is of average or slightly below average income while my dad got lucky when he was in his 30s and has made a lot of money he's 67 right now he and my mom divorced when they were both 35 and he's been with my stepmother 49 for 20 years before they divorced two years ago around christmas my wife and i got an invitation to his wedding ceremony with his new fiance who is 25 and pregnant my wife initially didn't want to go and was very against it she had become close to my stepmother and my half siblings from my stepmother and said she thinks my dad is trash i was able to convince her to agree to attend reluctantly because the ceremony was only 20 people in total and my dad would definitely feel it if even one person didn't attend before the holidays i was told my hours at work would be cut my dad doesn't usually give out handouts but he has offered to help me out and has sent money even though i didn't explicitly ask after my wife's loss i brought up the wedding she said she wasn't going to drive four hours to see my dad and that she once again only feels bad for my ex-stepmother who has reached out to offer her condolences while my dad hasn't i asked if she still feels sick and she has insisted she's physically okay but never going to get over it so i kept asking why she didn't feel well enough to attend the wedding and she said because she wanted to be alone with just her and me and just be in each other's companies she begged me not to leave her for the weekend i intended to stay at my dad's house i finally got annoyed because i felt like she was talking about the baby as if it was still here and told her that the baby would never be a living entity and burying herself in covers wouldn't make it any better i ended up packing my stuff and attending my dad's wedding am i the idiot my wife and i had a phone conversation right after the wedding ceremony where she accused me of doing it for my dad's financial support and said she'd take on personal debt before she accepts money from my dad jesus christ do you seriously have to ask if you were an idiot you were worse you were heartless and cruel to your wife has he even considered that maybe his wife didn't want to attend a ceremony of someone who is pregnant if i were his wife it would feel like jumping in a salt bath with a thousand paper cuts the apple doesn't fall far from the tree op you are such an idiot kind of funny that this guy without question attracts gold diggers pregnant 25 years old like really i'm not even judging he can use his money the way he sees fit but god is it ever hilarious to me that he wants to be used just to be with younger girls guessing he never had the chance to date 20 year olds when he was also in his 20s oh my god are you seriously asking if you are wrong dude you're the biggest idiot and all the junk around the front like how dare you you might not have formed an emotional attachment to the baby but you didn't have it growing inside your body did you your wife should ditch you and find someone with some compassion because you're probably one of the most callous people i've ever seen here what is wrong with you your wife is suffering a trauma and you're more concerned that daddy dearest and his knocked up sugar baby might be a bit sad if you don't go to their wedding traveling during global situation by the way well done on that extra idiocy points you're a monster i female35 was raised by very strict almost awful parents they'd yell at me for the smallest stuff and sometimes even for stuff i didn't even do simply because they were angry they didn't beat me but just the yelling was enough to mess with my mental health their behavior really gave me a lot of problems as i grew up i felt the need to be the one to break this cycle of mistreatment i promised myself that if i ever had children i'd make sure to raise them differently not wanting them to keep the cycle going years later i had a daughter when she was born i kept my promise i raised her with the respect and care i wish i received from my parents and thankfully my husband always supported me i always made sure she felt safe to tell me anything she's very polite and well behaved and i can clearly see that it isn't out of fear like it used to be with me it makes me so happy and proud to see that i really managed to break the cycle my husband works all day so when my daughter isn't at school and i have somewhere to go i leave her with my parents ever since she was born i always made it clear that i didn't want them to treat her like they used to treat me they seemed to understand and to be willing to change so i decided to give them a chance three days ago my daughter spent the afternoon with them while i went to a medical appointment when i came back to pick her up what i saw made me flinch my mom 63 was yelling at her for no reason at all she was extremely quiet the whole time my mom yelled like i used to do i didn't say anything just picked her up and left when i entered the car with her she started crying i tried to comfort her before i started driving home and asked her exactly what happened she said she loved her grandparents but they'd often get angry and start being rude to her for no reason even though she was always gentle with them and to make it worse i asked her why she had never told me about it and she said my parents told her not to they were basically doing to her exactly what they used to do to me when we got home i explained to my husband the whole situation and he got just as angry as me we decided to call my mom later after i put my daughter to sleep i asked her why she did exactly what i told her not to and her answer was again exactly what she used to say to me i'm just like that and then the worst thing i ever heard her say if i don't yell she won't learn that's just real life so i made a decision i said i didn't want her nor my dad near my daughter at least until they started changing their behavior she said i couldn't keep them from seeing her but i said i was trying to protect her from having her mental health messed up by them as i had then i hung up part of me says i did the right thing but i can't stop thinking that maybe i was too harsh i was just trying to protect my daughter am i the idiot you are not the idiot for protecting your daughter but you're a little naive for trusting that your parents had changed just because they told you they wouldn't yell in six years didn't it ever occur to you to ask your daughter how your parents treated her especially since you knew they were awful please don't waver and give your parents unsupervised access to your daughter not even if your daughter asks for it i grew up with a monster for a mom so i sound too judgmental i don't mean to be you are all idiots here since you allowed them to damage her for eight years you know how they are so you should have never allowed them to babysit to begin with they also should not be treating others like that if you even want to see them only allow them around your child when you come to be there a hundred percent of the time supervising the visit as in sitting in the same room with them while they visit and not even leaving the room to make lunch opie is wrong opie failed her daughter repeatedly for that she's the idiot the same as throwing your kid into a bear cage doesn't make it everyone is wrong here just because bear is gonna be bare op doesn't get off the hook just because her parents are idiots i know it may be painful to hear but this is accurate your parents don't seem to have any remorse for the way they treated you growing up why are they going to be any different now it sounds like if given the opportunity they will just try to manipulate your daughter into lying to you i'm 24 female married to my husband who has a little niece and nephew they are very cute but i honestly don't get the hype everyone acts like they are the most precious thing in the world to me they're 60 cute 40 annoying i have this thing where i do not like to watch them and i also keep interactions to a minimum if they come to me i won't be rude and i will go along with it but like i said i refuse to watch them or anything like that my in-laws so the kid's grandparents don't like this about me my niece's birthday was a few days ago and while we were celebrating her mom asked me to watch her play in the pool while she went to tend to nephew i kind of panicked and told her no to call someone else to do it i don't feel comfortable watching her especially in a pool where things can go south very quickly i don't want any of that responsibility and that's why i'm child free she kind of made a face and took nice with her while niece started crying because she didn't want to leave the pool everyone thinks i'm an idiot but i choose not to have kids and i don't feel like it should be made to watch other people's i don't care if it's for a minute just please watch your own kid so am i the idiot of course you're not the idiot watching kids in a pool is a big responsibility i have years of experience in child care love kids absolutely refuse to do anything near a pool like you said everything can go south really quickly everyone loves the kids and thinks they're wonderful of course they're theirs you're not obligated to watch them or enjoy their company as long as you're not rude to the kids themselves you are not wrong is your husband pushed into this or is this a uterus thing you are not required to have children or want to have children or want to babysit all the children your in-laws are pushy and disrespectful i get having to pull the kid out of the pool was annoying but good for you for saying no she could should have asked you to find the father or grandmother to give her a hand you are not the idiot it has nothing to do with liking or not liking kids it has to do with boundaries and not taking the responsibility if something were to happen i understand it's a weird concept for people to understand but just because you married into a family or your siblings have kids does not make you obligated to care for or babysit their kids would it be a polite thing to do just watch the kid for a minute sure but if someone is not comfortable doing that then so what no one is obligated to do something outside their comfort just because it's family [Music]

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu

Id: K0SEW_91uaE

Length: 18min 55sec (1135 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 30 2021