Unsung Hero Luke Smallbone I The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast

and he goes I just want you to know that I'm really proud of you too Dad and I was like okay that's cool what exactly are you proud of uhhuh and he goes you're doing much better as a father I was like life is like a roller coaster but it's so much better when we go through it together welcome to the Candace Cameron beray podcast we're in a special series with members of the smallbone family in 2023 I got to co-produce and play a small role in the movie unsung hero which is the incredible true story of the smallbone family coming to America from Australia that hits theaters this April 26 now I don't want to give away any spoilers because I really really want you to see the movie for yourself but these bonus conversations are going to go deep with Rebecca St James Joel and Luke smallbone of the band for in country and their amazing mom Helen truly one of the unsung heroes of their family and we're also going to be answering lots of listener questions in these episodes together which just might be yours so today I get to sit down with Luke smallbone of the band for king and country Luke has won four Grammy Awards with his brother Joel they've generated over 2 billion streams 10 GMA Awards one Billboard Music Award award an American music award they performed on really every show I mean Good Morning America the view the Today Show Tonight Show CMT Crossroads Luke is also one of the executive producers of unsung hero and he is with me [Music] today Luke hi welcome thank you for taking the time that was quite an elaborate just listening to all those things you could have done away with of those and you could have said my friend Luke is here and they probably would have listened all right they probably would have but like it impresses me and I I um I love seeing the accomplishments of my friends and I love being able to encourage and go like Yay you you did that so that's why I love reading those things well since the beginning of our friendship which we were just being able to just discuss even off air a little bit you have been nothing but encouraging and kind and welcoming and uh grateful for that thank you I think that we need to share with everyone how we did first meet yes yes I I was actually just telling someone who was getting makeup they said hey so how did you meet Candace and uh the truth of the story is was it your 40th birthday 4th 40th birthday and we got a call that said hey we're trying to do something very special for Candice for her 40th on The View with the television program you were on for a while and they want you to come and perform and we were like okay yeah we we'll do that and then they like and we also want uh Candace's daughter to perform with you at a song called Priceless and I think our first question was hey can she sing yeah and she can and uh and that's was our first interaction together I think the first time we met was you just on the like the front row yes coming up because it was all a surprise it was all a secret a total surprise all I knew is that they were going to do kind of a birthday episode for me and they asked me who a few of my favorites were and they said you know we'll we'll make decisions based on that and so they said if you could have any musical guest who would it be but maybe give us like three to five different peoples in case someone doesn't work out but you guys were my number one the number one on the list and I said you know I've never met them but gosh I love their music and I know that they're really great people and this would be a dream if they would come on the show what was so special for us is obviously we hadn't met at the time time but seeing your response like we were all gearing up for it like you know cuz you're on the front row we could see you guys right there and seeing and as a as a dad I actually got a little emotional watching it because seeing uh us coming performing you were like oh this is fun this is cool and then when your daughter walked out it was just a moment in time that is like imprinted in my head that I'll never forget I could get thinking about it it was and amazing that you guys said yes and allowed my daughter to sing with you because that's the reality you're like can she sing can she whatever but still like this is your song and and you're like what is even happen we figured that as soon as it was like this is what is being suggested I mean it's not in the The View's best interest for this not to go well so obviously they had to have known could sing it it was very very gracious of you guys and then it started this lifelong friendship I know it really has so we're always for something new right we're always something that was what was cool about that but I did not anticipate uh just I you know once again just talking bit ago about just the friendship with built with your family your husband I uh I'm more into um lifelong friendships than I am almost anything else obviously when you get the the the the the gift of being able to work with friends that that's great but if I can have a conversation with someone and we can become a friend you never know where those friendships hey it leads but know what happens in that conversation in that friendship that day and uh who would have ever known all these years later we're getting to do these things together I know and we've we've done some fun things over the years and and now we we've done a movie together a movie can you believe that it's yeah it's incredible and we're going to talk a little bit about that we're also going to answer tons of listener questions because that's what we love to do on this podcast and I get we get thousands of people that write in and they just want to hear from my guests they want to hear from me they just I'm like hey I want some God influence in my life and so I love being able to do that and share that but before we we get there for the the possible you know one person that's listening that doesn't know for king and country you and I both know there's many more than one I don't know about the people that listen to this podcast I think mostly everyone will know the band but can you just give me a brief description synopsis of how we got here yeah yeah yeah because how long have you guys been you've been in music your entire lives but how long has for king and country so it's been about 12 years officially as as fan country but it goes back even further than that so I want to play sports uh growing up that was my my dream which one um basketball uh but I was you know I played a lot of tennis growing up I play and then I got to basketball in high school and uh I my first year I'd never played basketball before and I played my freshman year and I won like an award of like Player of the Year Luke small I was like I've never played that I'm good at this I'm taking this as far as this can go and so uh the the next year actually ironically enough was in and out of town didn't play as well but my junior year I'm like my Junior and Senior year and I knew I wasn't like NBA Talent right but I knew I was like man could I get like a scholarship of division 2 college and then maybe be a coach I've always loved Sports what you know where could this go and uh the my very first game my junior year of high school I tore my ACL in my left knee oh and it was a pretty uh it was a pretty difficult thing I'm obviously I think I was you know 16 at the time and so you're pretty emotional about yes devastating and uh and I I remember going to my mom and I said Mom everybody else in the family has got their thing that they're good at you know and they're already doing those things um but the thing that I felt like I was good at really at the end of the day what my identity was wrapped up in was was sports that's been taken from me and I said Mom I don't really know what what I'm going to do and she said Luke by the time you graduate high school I think there's going to be one thing left for you to do and sure enough I graduate high school a couple months after that Joel comes to me and says hey man what do you think about riding on some uh riding some songs singing on some demos and just seeing where music takes us and uh and I honestly didn't have anything else to say yes to I didn't go to college didn't feel like I was meant to and so I was like yeah man let's just see where this goes and that was the beginning stages of of of us developing you know for King cont we were uh very unsuccessful for about five six years and then kind of classic story of one person heard a song that we' worked on and uh signed us up to a record deal and you know here we are 12 later that I didn't know and even watching the movie unsung hero yeah by the way which is a the entire movie is about your family growing up and the and making the move from Australia to America and all the hardships that you faced over the years but then ultimately becoming an incredibly successful family in within the music industry and other Industries as well but um but even having watched the film like I thought you and Joel were just always a team fun say that Joel and I were actually Arch Rivals growing up we didn't get along very well are you now you you come from a family of seven kids seven kids so where are you and Joel in the lineup Joel yeah Joel's the middle child which explains a lot and then I'm the I'm the next under him but I'm the third youngest in in seven kids okay so there's a lot of humans uh and uh yeah we didn't get along very well music was ironically the thing that kind of brought us together you know you know hopefully to any any of the the folks that are listening that have got you know kids who bicker and fight there's something about these rivalries that have formed in families that you get to about like 18 19 and you're like kind of sucks being on the other side of you know things now can we just kind of be friends again yeah and it like goes away wow it just doesn't become a thing anymore because at the end of the day especially in my family we were we were trying to find out place in the family you know there's seven kids you want attention you got all those types of things going on and so yeah for for us we didn't get along very well but it was music that really really kind of he's one of my best friends in the world you know and it was really that that kind of brought us together that right there has given someone hope listening hopefully yeah it is I could say the same thing about my own kids you know they just the the Dynamics and the friendships change when you get older and mature and and uh hopefully it it works out for the best like you guys I think it has for my kids as well you seem like you've got you've got them on the the right they all love trory that's right really a lot a lot so let's talk about the movie just a little bit Yeah because um it's about your family yeah you're not in the movie well I kind of am Candace where are you in the movie you won't remember this so uh there is this I'm such a good actor I'm forgettable all right uh that's not true that uh okay so the fil in the film there's striper right yeah I'm the lead singer of striper in the movie but once again I'm such a good actor I'm such natural but you must have had some a serious wig on I had oh yeah I had a serious a lot on are you kidding me I had like spandex I've got like this flowing M behind me I made horses proud uh it was uh yeah it was quite quite a thing but you are an executive producer yeah and so I know a lot of people are like what does an executive producer do and what's the difference between a producer and a director yeah yeah yeah yeah so tell me what your role on the film was I'll give you a little bit backstory actually how we even got to the film because what's ironic about it is most people like so this is about like you right and I'm like not really at all actually it has to do with my mom and my dad and my really my oldest sister that's kind of what the story centers around and how we actually got to making the film was uh obviously originally born in Australia my dad was a concert promoter in Australia and on one particular tour that he brought back uh he lost everything on a t and lost the house lost the car lost the life savings and was looking for a fresh start for his career for the family and he got a job offer in Nashville Tennessee and he thought it would be a good idea to move his six kids and his wife who was six months pregnant uh to Nashville that's exactly what we did uh but soon after we arrived uh my dad lost that job and so we're sleeping on beds made out of clothes uh don't have a way for our little sister to be born in a hospital uh not quite sure where the next meal is going to come from didn't have a car the list goes on and on and I was telling that story uh in concert for a long time and I had all these people come up and they'd be like man you guys should write a book fascinating story inspiring story and uh we didn't write a book because the truth is Joel and I were homeschooled so we don't read or write very well and uh that's a joke your mom would be so no she she would laugh as well uh but so we were like man well what if we make a movie you know instead and so I actually called a friend of mine who I'd worked on another film with before and just pitched him the idea I I didn't I didn't ask Joel I didn't talk to my dad didn't talk to anybody I was this was all you I mean I had the original idea I just called a friend and just said hey man I've shared this story um the truth is I said my Dad's getting a little older and I want Dad to be here you know for this for this film and uh I said I just I can't I think films that are worthy of being told are ones that are already working and this the story was already working it was just our job to go and put it on screen so anyway he basically and you know how this works with the Filmore he basically just said yes like on yeah yeah we'll do it and I was like oh that was easy is that really how it works in Hollywood I need to make more phone calls uh so anyway uh I and so we put it into development and obviously that was soon after when when you know we we called you and yes to answer your question a producer exeutive executive you're just putting in some cases you're trying to put the the thing together you know a lot of times I say a director's job is to handle the the filming of the actual film but before you get there there's a boatload of work Y and that's really where producers executive producers that's their job and then on set you're there and hopefully you're not having to make that many decisions but if things are really going bad you've got to get involved you know and so in some cases you're taking the big picture you're trying to execute you're getting finances you're making the sure the story is right you're getting the actors in place and then once you get on set hopefully it's the director's job than to go and execute yeah that was very well said thank you appreciate that yeah producer is like a big it's a big puzzle and you just got to put all the together that's right so I can't wait for everyone to see this movie again April 26th it's in theaters and we're going to have a link in our show notes at the end of where you can buy tickets find a theater near you um or maybe even a church too do you remember our first conversation about this filb by the way when we on WE Zoom yes I will never forget for for those for for a little bit of cont there was the we you know once again doing producer things it was like Hey we got to put this thing together and then someone else came to me and said hey what what do you think about Candice and just pitching this idea of her being involved in the film and somehow I ended up being the pitch guy again you did and I was just like hey Candace and we got on zoom and it was one of those conversations I remember actually hanging up and walking inside and seeing my wife and she said how did it go and I said that will be one of the that is one of the conversations where you have all these pitches you have all these meetings and there sometimes you go you know that was okay or maybe and I just remember going no matter what happens that was a wonderful time and I enjoyed it so anyway that you've got something else to talk the same way it was such a special time it was and your your dad also is like he's just Mr prayer Warrior that I love and you're I it I just feel so um I think enlightened by your dad but also so protected and prayed over by your dad he just leads with that all the time so I enjoy talking to your dad and he was on that Zoom as well and then we had a good time and and I walked away going man I I want to be a part of this I really hope the script is good I really hope it is I can see it in your eyes cuz I'm like pouring out my heart and I'm like I know if I'm in her situation I'm saying please let the material be good yeah and boy was it oh good yeah that was a quick phone call back yes that was fun let's be a part of this so um I want to answer a few listener questions but I would love for you to tell our our audience about your family yes so uh my wife Courtney and I we got we got four kiddos all right so Courtney Love of My Life uh we got marri we got married young she was 20 years old when she got married I was 23 and we have yeah we have four kids I got 11 uh 9 six and then a three-year-old little girl all the others are boys so three boys and then we have a little girl which is quite quite miraculous yeah it is miraculous and is she super spoiled protected Ian you'd have to ask other people what the who she is but man she is uh to me she is a delight yeah she I I will I will do everything I can not to have a spoiled brat not SP brat but I just mean like is she the princess cuz she's the one girl and she's got three older brothers and they're just they do on her they think that she think that she walks on water it's the cutest thing we call her sweet EV so her name's Evie and but everything's sweet EV and uh it's just been a you know raising kids is uh I've often said this being the title father is my favorite title because without my wife I don't get that title so it's two it's both of us and then to ra to have these kids call me dad and being a part of just shepherding them through through life is one of the of all the things that we we've gotten to do uh that's my that's my favorite that's awesome I love hearing that does um is the boy energy like very I know your daughter's only three but is it like you're used you're used to that yeah I mean I was so in my in my family of like my family of origin there's there's seven of us and and there's two girls and then there's five boys in the the middle so bookend girls I joke hopefully other family members not watching this but I was like my my my parents got really good at raising boys all right it was like they just dialed in they were tough and they were direct and and so for me I had three boys to start with I got really into that it was like man you can go and you can be pretty dang tough on boys and they may you may see them feel it a little bit but then they just they they just rally you know what I mean it's like they take it and they're like cool not super pleased by that you want to go jump on the trampoline you know what I mean like they just move on my little girl she is so soft and tender if I literally go uhuh no tears I'm like I just didn't like you know I love you and stuff uh it's going to be okay it's like come here where's your doll I'll play with it it's crying crying take it you know I'm kidding but it's very different and I had a lot of people tell me that it would be very different I just didn't anticipate like I have to be very careful how I correct her be very gentle with her she has a gentle Little Spirit she has a gentle little spirit and it is a beautiful spirit and I love it and honestly all of the things that people told me they're like it's so different you're going to love it it's very different and she is going to be a daddy's girl and just really cherish dad all of it's true you know but I thought I was like man I got these boys I figured a few things out it's going to be fine and then I had to realize like oh yes she doesn't enjoy you know directness in the same way that these other kids do it's one of the cool things about parenting is because you're you're training up these and and bringing up and nurturing these little human beings but man do they teach you so much about who you are and how you can be a better human being yourself right I've said this I'm not a theologian but that's just what I have realized if you want to be wise have children because they they are the foundation of wisdom because it's not even about you trying to teach them and try to teach them wisdom it's it's the discovery of wisdom through actually realizing that you're flawed you're like oh I the other day this is the funniest thing in the world I told my son he's just gotten like this gab watch thing and he can't really text or anything I've got it so locked down he can talk to like five people on Earth but he can send me voice memos and so I'm sending and I can send him voice memos and he can call me if he needs to be and anyway uh we're back and forth sending these voicemails and I told him I was like hey man I just want you to know I'm really proud of you and you you he had just done some really good things and he really stepped up as the oldest brother and the boy and and he goes that's cool and he sends voice back and he goes I just want you to know that I'm really proud of you too Dad and I was like okay that's cool what exactly are you proud ofuh and he goes uh he said you've been you you're doing much better as a father I was like I was like okay so I'm stting to have some fun with this so then I said what things are are you doing am I doing better at Jude and he goes uh you just become much more lovable and and sweet and I was like okay cool don't know what was going on 5 years ago but there other things and so my point is is you start to see yourself they reflect you they reflect your nature yeah and uh like I said if you want to be wise have children yeah I think it was your daughter that has made you more tenderhearted and now the boys are appreciating probably right it was so funny that's hilarious okay we're going to get to our first listener question yeah and this is from Tina it's a pretty pretty easy question she says what's your favorite way to spend time with family my favorite way to spend time with family so you know we we can agree on this we travel a lot there is at times I'm never as busy as people think I am but I'm also not just twiddling mybs if that makes sense and so my favorite thing to do is just be home with the kids yeah and work on the property so we got some cows we got some we we we Farm a little bit my my mother-in-law calls us Posh Farmers cuz she's like you're not really a real farmer but but we but yeah we'll we'll go work on the cows and and we'll go uh you know we we mow our own Lawns so it's like kids buckle up we got to go out there we got to take care of the the property we have we have tractors and things so teaching the kids to drive these things and just doing all those things I find that's actually how I refresh and refuel is is doing things uh with the kids I think sometimes we think that we have to have like these moments with the kids and with our spouses of like this is you know perfect intentionality son we're going to go solve life's problems we're going to go have coffee you know right I find that it's actually in doing very simple things together that there's great conversation and it fuels me so whether or not we live right across the the way from a a state park we'll go on little hikes they like to just go and skip rocks the river yeah and it those are the things uh they are the things and even because my kids are all older and in their 20s it's the same thing my favorite time is meal time with them but we love going for walks if we can go play a game of tennis together or we go for a hike together it's the conversation it's just being with them being with them and you you forget that sometimes those things are just the excuse to connect yes you know and uh that's that's what I love [Music] yeah did you know that last year over 5 billion pounds of meat were imported and sold in the US avoid the mystery of the meat aisle with good ranchers they are the number one source for 100% American Meat you can trust to feed your family meat can be falsely labeled product of the USA at the grocery store even when it's imported from other countries isn't that crazy shop confidently knowing you're getting locally raised meat from good ranchers instead of second guessing at the store stock your fridge with easy to prepare delicious meat right now at goodranchers.com not sure which box to choose try their best seller the ranchers classic or if you've got a hungry household like mine check out their family feast bundle get quality local food you can trust and feel proud to feed your family go to goodranchers.com and use my code candy to claim over 25 lbs of free chicken today good ranchers.com American Meat [Music] delivered okay we have a question from Samantha she said my first child's about to turn one and my career is taking off I love it but I'm so busy and I'm constantly overwhelmed with pressure and expectations mostly my own to be fair but as I read through my Bible chronologically I keep noticing this overarching theme of control jumping out to me God is in control uh when we when we try to take control over everything it can go wrong and I've really been struggling with this since my son was born so she doesn't really have a question but I think she just wants some com life advice and commentary so like I mean I think a lot of us struggle with control has there ever been a time in your life when you struggle with control or um whether it has to do with your family or just your own personal life and yeah I mean look Samantha I uh I don't claim to have all these things figured out right I a musician by trade so I'm not a psychologist I'm not a philosopher but I will say this but I Journey with you and that's what makes us uh friends that's what makes us common uh and uh look I um life um throws some very interesting Cur of balls and busyness is uh probably the most tricky one I think from what I've I've figured out lived is one of the most difficult things uh to navigate and I think what I would say is a always have Grace for yourself uh yeah you're you're a working mom with h with the with children I mean that's uh that's that that that is a lot but I would say find ways to figure out for you to feel like you've got some space that you can have times to go do some of the things that we were just talking about M uh one of the things that and this is just uh I book that I read many years ago called the screw tape Letters by CS Lewis and I love that book it's a difficult read in some cases because you start to see a lot of the ways that uh uh the enemy can distract us and one of the things that really got me was is he in the book he says Hey they've become a Christian we've lost that War but what if we can make them ineffective I was like w that's really interesting and then he says this and then he says so what if we make them successful that freaked me out when I read that yeah because I don't want to be successful and forget the things that are most important so obviously this is a difficult one you've become successful but you've also got these kids I do think that there's something about trying to figure out things what are the things that are lifegiving to you what are the things that are lifegiving to your kids find out what those things are are that you can create that marinin and then try to really protect those with all that is in you and uh you know and then once again wake up the next day and TR try to practice Grace once again yeah that's great advice I know that for me control I mean feel like I'm the queen of control at least trying to control everything and you realize very quickly that you can't that's right but it is a it's a choice that I try to make every day to completely surrender to God God I'm I here's here's what my day has planned however I Just Surrender it to you from the start of the morning and go but whatever you want to make happen happen change what you need to change course correct me one of the things that I uh sing around the house a lot and I've sung it for years is the him I surrender all literally and I've asked myself Luke why do you keep singing this song over and over well because I need to surrender yeah you know I need to kind of let go some of those things the other thing I would say to a lot of people is we feel an incredible amount of pressure to have all of the steps all of the things figured out like we've got this dream and we've got to accomplish all this to get to our dream sometimes we just you know Frozen 2 has a wonderful song on there all right you're going to think I'm crazy for saying this but there's a song on there talks about just do the next right thing yeah sometimes we over complicate Our Lives to where if we surrender and just do the next right thing just take that next step we know about that next step we don't know 100 steps ahead of us but if we can just do the next right thing it relieves a lot of the pressure yeah of of life because if we're always just Contin we're not guaranteed tomorrow a and then B who knows what today well man God might have some wild adventure for us yeah today but if we just look at hey you know what I need to go and do this next yep do that next thing with faithfulness I think remark things take place in that yeah that's really good I love that okay we're busting through these questions this is from Elsie she says oh I think Luke you're gonna have some good advice for this how do I how do I deal with a family member who can sometimes be rude and bossy now I'm not saying anyone partic in particular is rude and bossy in your family but you might I think you might be Candace but you come from a really big family so whether it's outside family uh you know big families have their challenges so smalles for that like once again I am not a family therapist but I do have a big family and uh I'm a big believer in you just talk about things yeah me too you just go to those people and say hey when you do this it just makes me feel like this yeah and what I often find is you don't always get the exact result of all of a sudden that person is no longer bossing me anymore but they're they're work in progress and I I remember listening to a sermon on on honesty and I remember I remember going man I'm a really honest person I don't lie ever you know and then this this P start going through what it means to be honest and he goes whenever you fired someone did you give them the real reason when you have a problem with a sibling did you tell them actually what was going on and I realized I'm like I am a liar you know what I mean and so my point is is in family there's a lot of really difficult Dynamics right and I come from you know a lot of siblings but if I talk about it even if that person's shocked or even if that person might even be slightly hurt resolving the conflict in the process of actually resolving that conflict makes me tremendously closer to that sibling so it's and it's like that without spouses it's the same thing I was like oh honey I need to talk to you about something and it's sometimes it's a hard conversation but through the discussion through being honest through you actually look back and you're like wow we're just so much closer so I think to is it Elsie is what she said I would say look it's that's those are hard things and God bless you in those conversations but I would go I would have that conversation and say hey this is just the way it makes me feel and you can do it in the sweetest kindest of ways and then you know who knows where it goes from there but I think at first and foremost that I think you got to start with honesty for sure and actually my podcast season right now we're talking all about emotions with Jenny Allen and so we go through all of them and it's we talk so much about conneting with others and talking about how you feel and I feel this way when I'm you know yep in conflict with you or or the way you have said that has made me feel sad you know it's kind of some some of it feels like basic therapy but it's um it's been a great conversation so tune in to the to the season if you want to know about how to navate some of that conflict with your emotions and the dialogue that you and the tools that you can have through dialogue to maybe make those conversations even more comfortable but I agree you just got to like open it open up I know some people don't like conflict and they have a hard time and but it the the honesty through that is the best thing that you can do and I would say this uh once again giving yourself some freedom and some Grace uh family's messy I always say this like people always like oh you seem to come from such a great family I was like we're a functionally dysfunctional family we fight really hard for the word functional in front of it right and and that's just the way it is the way it is you like growing up the on a tour bus I mean maybe maybe you didn't grow up on a tourus but you're had a torus a lot with your family I mean how do you navigate conflict through in small spaces yeah tell but it it once again I think actually a lot of it comes down to honesty I mean I've been accused there's probably some people in the room that would say that this is true of being a little messy and so occasionally on the bus you have to take the yeah maybe I am messy I got to I got to pick it up a little bit you know and you just have to I think that one of the things I've realized is feelings and emotions are wonderful right and feelings should never be ignored but they should not always be trusted and so when someone comes to me and makes you feel like this it's like you're absolutely right yeah I need to I need to do something I need to actually act and do something about it but a lot of it Thoughts with communication a lot of just starts with talking thankfully you know hopefully on the bus I've literally almost lived on a bus my entire life so I've kind of figured out and the way it is is you're bunk you're one little space you can make that one little space as messy as you like just don't make everybody else's place as messy as you want so that's good that's good life advice that's right there you go it really is um I you know in talking about the movie unsung hero there I think there are several unsung heroes throughout the movie but for me I think because I'm a mom and you see the dynamic of what your mom did within the family I would love for you just to share a little bit about your mom cuz then we have a couple mom questions after this my mom uh I could almost get emotional talk about my mom cuz I love her so much my mom if it wasn't my mom taught me right from wrong she taught me about forgiveness she taught me about Jesus she taught me about all the things that actually matter in life mhm come from my mom MH I mean she was uh she just was you know what I you know people often said hey Luke you know you come from a big family like how did that work as as being a you know one of seven and I've said this I said my mom was not a perfect mom she made mistakes but when I needed my mom she batted a thousand it was just a she had this intuition of Luke struggling I'll take a little extra time with Luke you know it was an amazing amazing gift still to this day you know I've said this but the two girls five boys in the middle if my mom walks in the room you will pretty much see all five of those boys particularly go up and give her a kiss on the cheek there is a reverence and a respect and honor for her that is is a really really tangible very very real so let me ask you this because I bet there's some moms listening and they go I want to be that Mom so badly how do I do that yeah I think that she just you I don't know if my mom always had the right speech but she was there she showed up for me yeah I think that's what we realize is what I'm realizing more and more as parents like look I want when my kid comes to me I had had a moment with my middle son once and he was having an issue with he has a little bit of scoliosis in his back and his back was bothering him and I said hey man these are the things that we pray about and he goes cool tried that doesn't work for me and you're like I need to to come up with a really great speech right now you know but that doesn't necessarily always happen yeah so we just I was with him we talked through it and obviously I talked about hey man the way that you pray is you petition God so it doesn't happen right away but you keep knocking any Father Like Me listens to that that's what we have in a heavenly father my mom had a way to sit with us in our struggle I'll never forget I told her I told her the first time I told her that I love my now wife my wife was sick my wife has a has a story of having some she died from a disease and it was only a year or two after that disease and she was just getting stronger and they had a lot of people had said a she would never have kids and and then this sickness they weren't sure if it would just keep coming back and they weren't sure you know with the jury was out M and I'll never forget I sat up on my mom's uh uh in her room and I was like I uh I just want to take care of her I love her and my mom never said anything in that conversation but I felt so loved by my mom I felt so seen by my mom she was there I think I cried a little bit she could just patted my back and so I think sometimes we feel the pressure as parents to have like the perfect thing to say most of it just has to do with us just being with them because when when things happen struggle is guaranteed in this in this world we just need to be parents that when the struggle happens hey we don't panic and that we say I'm here we'll work through this together yeah feels like an anchor you know you have an anchor that's right you're making me emotional I'm like I hope I'm that for my kids you are I know your kids they love no but I'll never forget and and I I shared this already but it was like we were having a discussion and love was like well Mom I remember the times that you weren't at my hockey games and it was like devastating I'm like but what about all the times I was y but they always seem to remember when you're not not there also yeah but I'm sure there's there's also good times that's right that's right I think sometimes the my mom used to say this and I'll I'll tell you this because I think it's one of the things that I I found an amazing quote from my mom that she probably doesn't even realize she said but she used to say this um and I think it's good for kids to have to learn how to overcome hard things but I so when I grew up playing sports and whether or not it was like the baseball game got rained out or I was going to a friend's house and got sick or I got sick and it cancels and you know as a kid when cancels it's one of the hottest things to overcome like I plan on spending time with them and and uh and my mom used to say she said Luke are you disappointed I'd say yeah I'm disappointed she'd say it's good to learn how to overcome disappointment that is so great that is so wise I say to to love hey man yeah I missed some things but it's good to learn over how to overcome even your disappointment when your mom's not there at a hockey game why did I not know your mom 10 years ago or 15 you didn't have you didn't have the Candace C Beret podcast then I know I love that though that's actually like that's going to be my takeaway from today honestly that's what I try to teach my kids it's like she used to always say she another one you can edit this out if you want but the another one she used to say was she would say I'm not very concerned about how you behave when everything's going your way I'm very concerned about how you behave when things are not going your way yeah oh that's a good one that's a great challenging question I love that well I'm gonna we're gonna wrap up with one final question here because again I can't wait for people to see the film and learn more about your family's story and and really how you guys dealt with all of the challenges which I'm so grateful for you sharing this advice with us today because I know these conversations are going to help people and the movie is really going to encourage you and you know we always are facing problems in life but a lot of them feel so ordinary when it's not it's not the the massive ones it's not a DI a you know a diagnosis of a problem it's not even like the loss of a job it's or financial stress sometimes we can just lose joy in the mundane yeah and maybe not feeling like we have purpose or um like I'm just kind of waking up and I'm going through life and it just feels the same every day yeah so Elizabeth has asked us how do we find joy in the mundane in life when it doesn't feel glamorous or like people are cheering you on oh well my what was her name again Elizabeth Elizabeth man my heart goes out to those questions because a I feel that even though people would be like but you do glamorous things I think it's the UN it's the it's the ordinary things that produce Extraordinary People um so if this is the laundry at the house or if this is the the hard the normal moments you know raising kids uh I've often said this we we in the western world and this part of what this movie is about uh we really celebrate the people that are up on the stage the people that you know are doing these types of things but my mom and and so many other people in my life that did very uh seemingly un insignificant you know unsung hero like things that there just nobody cared are the things that have given me fuel to do the things and given me the perspective to do the things right now one of my um one of my favorites uh brother Lawrence he wrote the book called practicing the presence of God yep it's probably considered one of the most impactful books ever written do you know what he did by trade he was a cook his whole life was spent making food as a cook uh we sometimes think that it has to be things that are significant that do something for other people but man in the mundane a one of the things I would say is man ask God for Joy just ask God for the joy in the in the mundane thing I have learned so much more about prayer in the last couple years and I that I wish I had a KN known many many years ago if I'm stressed about something God I don't know why I'm stressed about this all of a sudden there's a levity to the moment and it's not always like immediate like oh all of a sudden everything's fine but I feel like someone else is shouldering that with me yeah God I lack Joy today one of the things that I would hope is on my grav Stone would be blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah one of the most joyful people I've ever met I desire to have Joy but you have to practice Joy when it's insignificant cuz then when you practice Joy when it's insignificant when it's significant you'll have it also that's so good Luke it really is I'm going to end it right there okay it was that was beautiful I I really hope that our little conversation here um has encouraged you today and also to go and watch this film because you're going to you're just going to hear that much more hopefully So yeah thank from a pretty great family thank you for being a friend for many many years and uh just uh Eugene beon has a quote where he says you know following Jesus is like a long obedience in the same direction and you are in that same direction in a long obedience and I cheer you on honored to be your friend and thank thankful for the time that we get to chat today yeah thanks to see more about unsung hero go to unsung hero. movie and if you want our current unwind guide all about emotional health go to candice.com where you can also ask listener questions like the ones Luke answered for us until next time be grateful all day every day candy Rock entertainment All rights [Music] reserved

Channel: Candace Cameron Bure

Views: 36,481

Keywords: Candace Cameron Bure

Id: MGZxjRrxbh0

Length: 45min 55sec (2755 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 13 2024