Unpack Your Bags | Ups & Downs: A Relationship Series | Pastor Tim Ross | Hope City

that was good enough for me let's give it up for jesus one good time [Applause] you may be seated hi i love you so good to see you so grateful to be here with you all um seven days ago uh back in dallas fort worth uh we celebrated uh the seventh year anniversary of embassy city by announcing uh that we paid off the building 2.2 million dollars worth of debt eradicated in six months we got the keys keys keys [Applause] at the same time down here in sticky houston y'all got the news that y'all bought a building [Music] and you're debt free somebody needs to turn up god is doing something amazing at hope city so yay us we got the same energy and it's so dope i i get to be a part of this relationship series and so i just want to frame this uh uh uh if if you're in a relationship raise your hand now see everybody didn't raise their hand because everybody doesn't think they're in a relationship so let me frame it for you so that you'll know we're all on the same page do you need to relate to yourself it's not a trick question yeah like i think he's trying to trick us i'm just going nod both ways to see well the truth is we all need to relate to ourself because if we can't relate to ourself we cannot relate to others so again i say how many people are in a relationship that should be 100 of the people now uh i want to talk to singles i want to talk to couples i want to talk to people that's about to get married i want to talk to people that's been married i want to talk to people that's been divorced and and looking to do it again okay in jesus name you like you know what i messed that first thing up but you know what i believe god he gonna do something great this next is gonna be the best i i wanna talk to you about something i want to take you to the word first and then we'll see what the lord would say is that all right genesis chapter number three verse number one i want to read you um where it all fell down okay uh i want to read this uh for some context and then i'm going to take you one more place in scripture uh and then i'll give you the title and then we'll pray alert this is going to be the most basic message you have ever heard in your life if you take notes on messages these points i'm gonna give you you're gonna be like duh but sometimes it's the no duh stuff that you need to be reminded of the most all right so uh genesis chapter number one starting at the first verse here's what it says the serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the lord had made one day he asked a woman did god really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden first of all how do you start a conversation like this it's random of course we may eat the trees in the garden the woman replied it's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we're not that we are not allowed to eat god said you must not eat it or even touch it if you do you will die you won't die [Music] the serpent replied to the woman at least that's the way i think he said it back god knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it and you will be like god knowing both good and evil the woman was convinced she saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious and she wanted the wisdom it would give her so she took some of the fruit and ate it then she gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate it too at that moment their eyes were open and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness so they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves when the cool of the evening breezes were blowing the man and his wife heard the lord god walking about in the garden so they hid from the lord god among the trees then the lord god called to the man where are you he replied i heard you walking in the garden so i hid i was afraid because i was naked who told you you were naked the lord god asked have you eaten from the tree whose fruit i commanded you not to eat the man replied it was the woman you gave me you gave me her and then she gave me fruit and i ate it that's the order then the lord god asked a woman what what have you done the serpent deceived me she replied that's why i ate it i love eve she was straight to the point i got played i just i'm just telling you right now i got played i want to take you one other place first samuel chapter number 10 verses 17-22 you're gonna say this is not related bear with me later samuel called all the people of israel to meet before the lord at mizpah and he said this is what the lord god this is what the lord the god of israel has declared i brought you from egypt and rescued you from the egyptians and from all the nations that were oppressing you but though i have rescued you from your misery and distress you have rejected your god today and have said no we want a king instead now therefore present yourselves before the lord by tribes and clans so samuel brought all the tribes of israel before the lord and the tribe of benjamin was chosen by lot then he brought each family of the tribe of benjamin before the lord and the family of the matrites were chosen and finally saul son of kish was chosen from among them but when they looked for him he had disappeared so they asked the lord where is he and the lord replied he is hiding among the baggage if you take your notes on this message uh three words please write these down unpack your bags that's what i'm that's what i want to talk to you about today whether you were single in a relationship you're trying to relate to yourself or others put it in first person unpack my bags that way you won't take these notes and be like girl i got something to share with you the lord spoke to me about you today no no no no no he talking to you about your hands let's pray over the word before we get started to show it holy spirit help us unpack amen i pray quick i do i pray quick i know i just made all the intercessors mad y'all like there's got to be more that's got to be i'm just the one you went over for thanksgiving dinner i'll we'll eat it while it's hot uh i i had to give you context uh in genesis and i and i read the the context in first samuel uh only to get to the baggage part i hope i'm not frustrating any theologians in the room by this stitch but but there's there's something that is incredibly important about both narratives adam and eve have this beautiful relationship with god and each other and uh because of a serpent wedging his way between them he is able to isolate them and get them to start processing outside of each other eve has this conversation with adam that she does not even bring i mean she has this conversation with the serpent that she does not even bring back to adam adam has a conversation with eve that he doesn't even bring back to god and as a result they find themselves having a revelation they should have never have had do you know you were never supposed to know the difference between good and evil we were simply built to know god good is a digression from god it's one o too many we are not supposed to no good and evil we're just supposed to know god and his righteousness but after the fall human behavior changed in an instant god comes walking through the garden and he talks to adam and he asks adam a very straightforward question where are you this is literally your indication that god is a therapist this should be your institution your indication that god is literally a counselor because the first question that's asked by god to a human in all of history is a counseling question do you know where you are this is a self-awareness question i am giving you the chance to tell me if you know where you are how you are right now adam blew the test egregiously hey adam where are you i'm hiding no duh this was not a geographical location i know where you are do you know where you are why you are well i hear cause i was naked second question who told you that well that woman you gave me gave me some fruit and i ate it and that's why i'm here he's like you know what you failed he goes to eve eve what what have you done and eve said listen i was deceived straight up he smooth talked me into eating that apple i ate it that's why i'm here listen i believe that verse right there is the reason why sin is attributed only to adam and not eve because when god asked adam he blameshifted when he asked eve she just said straight up i got deceived you know what scripture says for the rest you can read all through scripture all it will tell you is that eve was deceived adam sinned this should let everybody know that the full weight and brunt is on the man every man get ready to man up cause it's gonna be rough for you well she had a part to play anyway he holds you responsible because you were here first [Music] [Applause] so we've been dealing with this chronic situation of hiding and blame shifting since the beginning the reason why i wanted to read you uh this passage in first samuel chapter number 10 because saul does it as well in a completely different way god in private through samuel had told saul that you are going to be the next king he told him privately saul already knew he was king so the pomp and circumstance of the next day when they lined them all up by tribes and then whittled them down to clans and then identified the family and then called saul out saul already knew it he wasn't surprised but when it was time to crown him king you know where saul was a man who was tall head and shoulder above the rest as the scriptures would say he was hiding everybody had to bring their bags and he was hiding amongst the baggage why he did not agree with god's selection so he tried to hide from it and it was an interesting thing that was there that he was hiding amongst the baggage adam and eve were hiding amongst the trees the things that they were supposed to manage they were actually hiding behind i need us all to know that god has called us to unpack our bags now before anybody starts to try to judge whose bags are bigger in the relationship that you're in or with yourself and i don't have a big bag and i have a small bag here's what i want you to know everybody in here got baggage don't you think for one moment because you gave your life to jesus or you're considering giving your life to jesus that you're not going to have any bags do you know that when babies are born before they leave the hospital they already have a bag a bag these jokers didn't even buy you can't leave the hospital without the new human that just came into the earth he just came in naked she just came in naked and guess what they already get it back take that home this is your prize bye-bye and as we grow up and live our lives we accumulate more baggage our good experiences our bad experiences our traumatic situations all the things that we've ever gone through is a collection of our baggage and the way we relate to ourselves and others is based on how we deal with the baggage we have accumulated so i have four points i already warned you these are the most basic points of all time deal with it point number one please write this down bring your bags if you are going to really be the person that god has called you to be relating to yourself well and others you must bring your bags this is an admission that you actually have them you're not that cute you don't have it going on that well that you're going to convince anybody you don't have baggage this has to be a self-awareness thing in the same way god asks adam where are you the question i have for you today is where are your bags do you even know where they are if you had to take a trip today do you know which bag you would need to take based on the destination that you are going you have to bring your bags point number two please write this down unpack your bags i told you this was so basic well i brought my bags into the relationship they know i got bags everybody got bags are you willing to unpack them or are you gonna spend the rest of your life with the narrative that this just me you know who you got with i was like this when we met no no i recognized in all of your beauty that you had bags i knew you had them because we went on three dates and by the second date your bags was popping up and you weren't even aware there was a popping up behind you i was like oh snap oh you cute but ooh that's a thing not a big enough thing to make me not like you anymore cause you real cute but that is a thing i just want to know if you know that that's a thing i know people that bring their bags into the relationship will acknowledge that's my bag but they're not willing to unpack them the reason why most people aren't willing to unpack their bags it's because they know what's in there you ever had a big bag you had to take through customs and you just you got to your final destination and you like just let us go just let us go and then somebody's like come here are you like nah oh no random check we must check your bag you're like no it's so neatly packed in there and you're just about to do this and then when you put it in back in there you gonna stuff it all down and try to zip it back up i have a whole feng shui thing that i do with my bags and you about to mess it up most people don't want to unpack their bags because they know what's in there and the reason why they pack them in the first place is because they don't want to see them and the fact that you noticed triggers them this ain't no shout message this is a grow up message you have to unpack your bags i've been married to the love of my life juliet for 23 years [Music] my wife is beautiful inside and out but i noticed that outside before i knew about that inside juliet is five foot four and a half half jamaican half bahamian super fine and all mine [Applause] ooh that girl's mocha skin blesses my whole life um when we got together i had to start unpacking with her what was in my bag some of the stuff that i had to unpack uh i had to acknowledge that i'm not the one that put it there but it's there see a lot of people think that well if i acknowledge this bag and i start talking about unpacking it um i'm embarrassed to say that some of the stuff that's in this bag i did not even pack it was just in there from my family of origin i got this rejection issue because i didn't grow up with with the dad and i got this i i got this deceptive issue because i had to protect myself and so oh man i if i open if i unzip this you gonna run well well if it's a really loving person who's working on themselves they'll have loads of empathy and compassion for you because they're doing the same work that you're doing the only people that run from your stuff are people that don't want to deal with theirs so i had to like i got with i got with julia and i was like okay whoa some stuff in here you probably gonna run but here we go so i got you see this attachment issue yeah that's me so embarrassing but what happened was uh uh uh i was sexually traumatized when i was eight years old this is i'm i'm packing with you right now i was sexually traumatized when i was eight years old and as a result um i couldn't tell my parents because i thought my mom and dad would kill the dude and then my older brother was in the gang he was gonna bury the body and then i was never gonna see anybody in my family again so i have attachment issues here oh there's another one oh my goodness this is abandonment it's kind of attached to the attachment thing because i couldn't tell my parents i just felt even though i was in a loving family i felt alone and isolated within a loving family because i couldn't share the trauma that happened to me so there's attachment there and there's abandonment here and i'm telling you right now if you ever talk about leaving me this thing gonna flare up so big you're gonna think i don't lost my entire mind all right there's something else in here that you need to know about lies yes these lies i started lying when i was eight years old because when i was uh abused by the guy across the street i came home i looked my mom in the face she said how was your day i said fine so i started lying at a young age not about cookies and milk and toys and transformers it was this so uh i'll lie just to just to preserve the peace there's more got a little porn addiction in here um embarrassed about that but when i was 12 years old uh i could have been cigarettes i guess it could have been drinking could have been crack i mean i was in la it could have been crack for sure um blood is porn and so this is how i numb my pain uh with point of masturbation so this there's that but wait there's more i had to literally start unpacking all of this stuff it was not fun it was not easy but i did this more for me than her i wasn't packing unpacking my bags because i i just got to keep you at all costs i didn't know if she was going to run or not i wanted to be free i didn't want this stuff messing with me for the rest of my life so i'm just unpacking stuff i'm packing stuff i'm packing stuff i'm packing stuff and i just want to pause and say that um uh she had stuff to unpack too it's just that my like she had like a little duffel bag she ain't perfect but she just came in with like a little duffel bag like yeah she was like zip my parents got divorced so there may be some daddy issues in there and let's see what else is in there that's about it i gave my life to jesus when i was nine and that's it for me and for me i was like oh man that's all you got she's like yes where's yours i was like hold on it's coming you she was like i don't did you and then all she heard was beep beep i was like yeah i have a whole dump truck still full of stuff that i need to anybody beside me you like you know what i got a 18 wheeler coming it's in kansas last time i'm tracking it it's in kansas but we're gonna back that thing up and we're gonna let a whole lot out of it now let me say something to the dump truck people that might feel like man you don't have a lot of stuff but i have a lot of stuff i just want to be very very clear i have seen people i've been doing counseling for a long long time premarital post-marital in marital no marital whatever it is and here's what i found out just because you don't have something big does not mean you don't have something nuclear [Applause] i've seen people come in with a dump truck and i mean they unpack all that stuff and they feel so light and i've seen somebody come in with one root of bitterness and it becomes so nuclear and toxic it ruins every relationship they have with anybody all because they have bitterness and unforgiveness in their heart and the person that had like you know i got shot nine times i did a prison stint got shanked in the lower rib but god and the other person's over there like and i still hate you and they're nuclear and bitter and alone point number three please write this down sort through your stuff you've unpacked it now it's time to sort it where do i put this and where do i put that what what do i do with the porn addiction how we how do we manage that we need to sort through that how do we deal with my abandonment issues and my attachment issues how do we navigate this how are we going to start talk we got to sort through the stuff i remember i come from a loud family like we just talk loud that's just and in your family of origin the way you when you when you're around other loud people you just loud with them and you don't know you you loud or they loud until somebody else come over and when somebody else comes over they just looking like why y'all yelling so much and you like we ain't even yelling this is the way we talk we are turnt up all day every day like this yo then you go then you go to the quiet house the loud person goes into the quiet house they looking why y'all whispering we're not whispering it's just the way we talk well my wife uh her her father was incredibly abusive hated god uh uh he he would he would beat the children for watching christian television he beat my mother-in-law violently three times hospitalized her twice once within inches of her life notorious notoriously angry person why he never unpacked his bags never sorted through his stuff let me just give you a quick beautiful bow on that dude he gave his life to jesus 12 hours before he died and he is in heaven and that's how i know god is not petty [Applause] he waited until that dude's last 12 hours and gave him one more chance sure you don't want to roll with me before uh you close your eyes forever and that dude was like i won in all of heaven was like hey we got him hey we got him it's beautiful it's one of my favorite stories ever so we got married and and and he would raise his voice and when he raised his voice he would also raise his fists and and so my wife was very very sensitive to decibel levels that come out your mouth we got married we'd have a conversation and because i'm passionate about everything i use my whole body to talk i'm from l.a we was crumping we were doing all that i i would i would be talking to her and she would be telling me something like baby i just don't understand like why you did that i'm like why did what and she's like she would literally like curl up like no you're yelling and i'm like i'm yelling you're yelling i'm not you are and i learned that in my relationship i could not dismiss the experience she was having with me i didn't have to agree with it but i couldn't dismiss it and i'm like well if she thinks i'm yelling then i guess i'm yelling so you know what i had to do as a part of me sorting through my stuff i had to go find another way to communicate with her this is what love will make you do all that i ain't changing this who i am i'm like this you're not ready to die and if you're not ready to do that in your relationship with your person that you say you're in love with you're also not ready to do it for christ [Applause] you show me somebody that's not willing to make changes for their significant other i will show you somebody that's not willing to make changes for christ just the way i am you know how you found me lord i don't know why i got this whole hood thing i know i don't know i'm from the hood so that's just the way i am right and so i i literally had to go find another voice to talk to my wife in when we had heated passionate discussions and we realized that um as long as my voice doesn't go over this octave she can hear me you have no idea how much discipline and self-control you must have in the heat of the moment when passions are high your amygdala is foggy [Music] to have a lump in your throat a burning sensation in your chest ears as hot as the equator and have to say i understand honey clearly there's been a misunderstanding i didn't know you wanted me to wash the dishes but whatever it will take for me to get back to the garden of eden consider it done then i'd walk out the room put on my shoes walk to the garage get in my car call my best friend do you know exactly what this girl just tried to say to me i had to get it out somewhere just don't bring that energy just trying to help some people in here trying to put y'all up on game point number four write this down sort through your stuff put away your stuff put that stuff away categorize it file it and put it away now putting it away doesn't mean you're not gonna see it anymore you just know where you put it uh i have uh two god sisters that swear that i am a serial killer uh and cause this is the comment they make they're like anybody that takes any trip for any length of time comes straight home and unpacks their bags and puts stuff away as soon as they get home they are serial killers my retort was i prefer contract killer i serial killer just sounds completely with no discretion contract you must have done something or why would i be here but i i'm the type of person that when i get home i immediately pack my bag i got here yesterday i completely unpacked my bag hung everything up put my shoes i have a whole order i am i put everything away that way when i put it back in the bag i know i'm not leaving anything out cause i'm not just blindly pulling stuff out and putting over here and oh my goodness i forgot that no deal put your stuff away i know where to find my attachment issues i know where to find my abandonment issues i know where i've put my point addiction the 26 years that i've been a believer in jesus christ 24 of those 26 years i've had some form of counseling and or therapy for one reason and one reason only i don't want anything in my bags ruining the relationships i have with god my wife and kids my family and my friends this is this is one of those messages that that if you receive it you'll have to do some hard work most people don't unpack their bags for one reason and one reason only it's hard especially if you've you've you've been traumatized like i've been traumatized you've gone through a bad painful relationship or you've had your trust abused you've you you've you've been manipulated you were gaslighted whatever you might have gone through it it makes you very very reluctant to do it again but i'm telling you you don't want to be a prisoner to the things in your bags you want to be so self-aware that whatever relationship you get into you get to walk up and say hey hi i'm tim and i've been traumatized if you decide to get with me and i think you should there's a couple of things you should know and you go on that long list like the people that do the medic the you know those um those commercials where they come out with a medicine and like the precaution and the warnings is longer than the benefits it's like hey would you like to stop a nosebleed take this medication your liver might fall out your brain might completely hemorrhage your toenails will turn a funky purple but your nose will stop bleeding if you don't know you don't expect anybody else to oh that thing i felt that that was thank you holy spirit that is not in my notes well listen ain't nothing in my nose i just literally go off of what the lord tells me to do i'm gonna show you i'm gonna show you what these notes look like then we're gonna leave these notes are here literally that's scripture these are the notes i don't know you the holy spirit does and he knows exactly what to say to you to get you where you need to be so unpack your bags would you bow your heads and close your eyes what is the holy spirit saying to you through this message this probably has stirred up some stuff maybe your heart rate elevated on certain parts of what i said [Music] if you're in a relationship maybe you got really really self-conscious because you're like oh snap i hope my spouse don't look at me i'm telling you this is this is one to grow on the relationship you have with god will be better the relationship you have with others will be better the relationship you have with you will be better so holy spirit i pray right now that you would take these words and these practical points and that you would give us a new perspective on our baggage we always understand that we will have bags but may our bags never have us in jesus name amen i love you bye [Music] come on can we just honor pastor tim ross the word he brought come on so good thank you sir [Applause] everybody just remained seated for just a moment just in reverence of this moment with every eye closed just for a moment talked about unpacking bags and sorting through your stuff with every eye closed just for a moment if you're here today and you said daniel jackie and i needed this word and the truth is i felt the spirit of god stirring in me all throughout that i'm in need of a savior the only one that can really heal me and restore me and fix and put stitches where i've been placing band-aids the one that can free me up to be able to have the willingness to unpack these type of bags the truth is it's jesus the answer begins with and ends with him so with every eye closed i'm going to give you two off opportunities two invitations today the first one is daniel i don't know jesus as my savior but i want to for the very first time or maybe the second invitation you say the truth is i used to walk with jesus but i fell away i got caught up in the prodigal life the truth is i've even added more to the baggage of my life but i want to fall back in love with jesus i want to come back and rededicate my life today to him today i'm going to count to three we don't pray prayers for symbolic reasons or just to pray them but we pray according to romans 10 verse 9 and 10 that says confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that jesus is lord and you will be saved slate wiped clean throws your sins as far from the east as the west writes victory in your story one today daniel jackie i want to give my life to jesus for the first time too you're talking about me i want to rededicate my life at woodlands at katy right here at west houston if you're watching online just say yes and our team will help you our moderators will help you three if that's you would you lift up your hand i'm looking all over the room today's my day i see you i see you i see you i see you i see you come on i see you all the way back there come on let's make some noise a bunch of people said today's my day today's the day

Channel: Hope City

Views: 47,040

Keywords: Hope City, jermy foster, jeramy foster, hope city church, daniel groves, jeremy foster, jackie groves, houston church, inspirational, sermon, daniel beard pastor, beard daniel groves, the groves houston, daniel and jackie, daniel and jackie groves, hope city houston, hope city daniel, hope city jackie

Id: BqA1eqkaSFw

Length: 41min 48sec (2508 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 18 2022