- Really there are only two types of people in the shower, all right? Those who pee and those who lie about it. (horse whinnies)
(magical twinkling) What up everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman, and I am literally obsessed
with taking showers. Yeah, I take one like, every week. And I've discovered that showers are a really interesting place, you know. Why? M-C-A. Because showers can reveal a lot about a person's personality. Here's the breakdown. Number one, the showstopper. Now obviously some people
sing in the shower, that's not new information. ♫ And I will always love you But you see me, see I don't
just sing in the shower, okay? I turn into a full-fledged performer and I'm not just talking singing. No, I've done all types
of entertainment, okay? I'm in the shower reenacting
my favorite movie clips. (dramatic music) This is Sparta! Imitating my favorite music videos. ♫ One, two, three, one, two, three And most importantly,
pretending the wall is my lover and staring deeply into
it's eyes as I sing to it. Real talk, I actually do that. Is that gross, is that weird? It's clean, right? Right, right? You see, because outside the shower I may be a talent-less psychology graduate that wears only high waisted
jeans and granny panties but inside the shower, oo, I'm like Beyonce and Leonardo
DiCaprio's love child. Oh I am a performer. No, I swear to God. If casting directors took showers with me, I would get all the roles because they would see how good I am. Oh, okay, I guess that could go both ways but okay if it was sexual, obviously I wouldn't get the
role because these rolls. In conclusion, I'm way more
talented in the shower. (sobbing quietly) (groans) Leave me alone! And scene. Number two, the mental breakdowners. Does this look familiar? No, honestly, girl, I'm
in a really good place. Yeah, I love my life. My day was great, I had
an awesome day at work, everything's phenomenal but
I'm gonna take a shower. I'll call you back, okay? I love you, bye! (wailing) Yeah, raise your hand if
you've ever done that. (bell dinging) Now these are the people who take showers to escape reality, okay? Escape their crappy days. They're just standing in the shower, numb, letting the water hit their face and they usually think things like this. I think my life sucks. I hate my job. This day is trash. I'm pretty sure all of
my friends are stupid. This rash is getting worse. Straight up, I've cried in the shower. Why? M-C-A. Obviously because people
in the movies do it and therefore I can see how dramatic and emotional it looks, okay? If I'mma cry, I'mma
Oscar worthy cry, okay? I ain't about no sub-par crying. I have standards, I'm not an animal or, is that a peanut? Number three, the ocean killers. Let's be real, everyone
messes around in the shower but some people take it next level and they're in there for like two hours. Have you ever experienced
someone who takes so long in the shower that
there's that slight moment where you think there's a
chance they might have died. (laughs) You know what I'm, let's be honest, you know those people
when they take so long and you're just like, okay
they're probably fine but still, that image flashes in
your mind at least once where you're like, oh okay,
they're probably dead. They're probably lying
there like a raisin, you know, that scene from the Psycho and I can see their dead body. (stuttering) Am I deranged? Because what the F other
logical explanation is there for taking two
hours in the shower? Not to mention you're wasting water, okay? The ocean is dying, the environment is out
here struggling, fam. You're using so much water, The Little Mermaid's out
here with dry lips, okay? Just like (wheezing) ♫ Under the sea, under the sea Hurry the F up, okay? Before I flush the toilet three times and turn you into the star
of the next Frozen movie. Number four, the wet wasteman. Now it takes a special type
of person to take a place that's designated for cleanliness, that literally has hygienic products in it and turn it into a disgusting mess. Like literally, the shower
is a place with soap and shampoo and clean water, but you somehow turn it into a dumpster. Shampoo bottles knocked
over everywhere, left open. Somehow the soap bar's in
two pieces and on the floor waiting for me to slip and die on it. (loud clunk) And not only is this mess
reserved for inside the shower, no no, it gets much worse as
you exit the shower, okay? You know why? Because towels are optional. Yeah, why use a towel when
you can just dry yourself while doing the effin' Harlem Shake. Like, what's going on? You ever enter the washroom after someone's done taking a shower and you step on the mat
and water just oozes out and you're like, how did this even happen? How did this much water exit the shower? Are your butt cheeks made with sponges? Now washroom floor is a sea. Now if I gotta take a
dump, I gotta call up Moses so he can make a path for
me to get to the toilet. And quite possibly the
most annoying thing about this person is, okay, you
know that little button you've gotta hit so that
the water stops coming from the shower head and instead
comes from the faucet? They don't give a F about that button. That button's never been touched before. So then I enter the shower,
and this little faucet, (imitates spraying water) and water comes blasting on my head. You are a menace to society. You see this hair? That little bit of sprinkle, you know that's gonna take
10 days to dry, God dammit. Number five, the shedder. Shed, shedder, shedder, is
that a real word, shedder? Shed? And this type of person is so annoying, I had to give them their own category and I know what you're thinking, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, how can you get annoyed of people who leave hair in the shower when you look like effin'
Samara from The Ring? Well the thing is, if my
hair sheds in the shower, I rinse that ish and
put it down the drain, I don't leave it there for display. I can't even explain to you how gross I feel when I see wet hair in the shower just left there and here's the thing, most people, they don't get it, they're like, what's the problem? If the shower looks like a
chia pet, there's a problem. If I step into the shower
and I get carpet burn, okay there's a problem. If my shower is dirty and I need to call a hairstylist to clean it,
okay there's a problem. If my shower could be considered for the role of Chewbacca,
okay there's a problem. If my shower has a bushier
beard than Humble The Poet, there's a problem. If the shower can donate more hair to charity than I can, there's a problem. And hear me when I say that
if I pick up a bar of soap, and there is a pube attached to it, there's a problem and no, no don't say that thing
where you're like no, it's just a short hair
from my head, I swear. No, no one uses soap on their head, okay? It's a pube and Houston,
we have a problem. Not to mention that hairs
that are stuck to the wall of the shower, you know what
I'm talking about, they're wet, so they're like all
there and they're in this weird design where they're just like, (laughs) this is me imitating
the hair on the shower wall. Like, I hate it all, contain that ish! In conclusion, subscribe. Hi! If you liked that video, there's
another one you can watch that's probably gonna make you laugh. Also, it's right over there. My second vlog channel as I
daily vlog, right over there. Smash that thumbs up and subscribe because I make new videos
every Monday and Thursday. One love, Superwoman. That is a wrap and zoop.
