If I could hold
onto an object, maybe? Sure. I-I have this penny. Okay. I've had a lot of
interesting objects in my day. First time
I've ever had a penny. -I like that.
-I love it. I have something in mind. I have something
very specific in mind. It's very fresh. So I'm curious to see
if he's gonna pick up on this. And if he does,
I'm just gonna (bleep) a brick. It's funny
that I'm holding a penny, um, and interesting, because
one of the ways that he's tried to connect to people is,
like, through finding pennies -in weird places.
-Hmm. There's also reference to... I'm
seeing a bunch of butterflies and a reference
to a butterfly connection that he would have personally,
in his memory, but it's weird. There's some significance
with this with the butterflies -in the memory thing.
-Yeah, the... yeah. Who would...
was the penny connected to? -Um, to Steven. My ex.
-Okay. -Interesting.
-He collected coins. And after he passed,
I spoke with somebody else -that was clairvoyant,
and they had said, -Oh. -"He's telling you to find
a penny... -Right. -and a... and a butterfly."
-Hmm. I don't really know
how to quite deliver this. He's referencing to the fact
that he feels like his passing could've been avoided. What did he technically
pass away of? He was, you know, alcoholic. Like, he's acknowledging,
"Bring up the second one, bring up the second one,
bring up the second one." Who would be the second one... that would've had
the drinking issue? -Me.
-Okay. Okay. I used with him. We were, you know,
addicts together. -Right. -But I'm the one
that stayed clean -and turned my life around.
-Sure. Right. Yeah. And he didn't. And so I feel,
like, guilt around that. CARNIE:
Steven was, you know, very funny and had
this great big personality but was very self-destructive. And we just couldn't...
we-we didn't make it work. We weren't meant to be together. And that's sad, because
he's-he's gone and that... You know, the disease took him. He's referencing to the fact that he's not blaming anybody
for his passing. I just need that to be known. This... Literally, the symbols
that are coming through is -in referencing to marriage
and apology. -Uh-huh. -And both are
kind of coming through. -Yes. -Why would he be apologizing
for... -Well, we were engaged. -Yeah.
-We were engaged. -Yeah. -But we weren't right
for each other. -It's too bad.
-Yeah. It really is. He feels an immense amount
of relief. -Good.
-And-and that's good to know. -I think I'm still grieving it.
-Sure. Absolutely. And I'm sure you
weren't ever completely able to fully grieve, on some level. -Like, someone you love
just, you know... -Sure. -Right.
-He gave up. -I feel bad to be mad.
-Sure. -No, and I get that. Absolutely.
-I don't know how to process it. -Sure. -I don't know what to do
with those feelings. I always tell people, like, readings aren't
a cure for grief. -Right. Right.
-They-they might help. But, ultimately, that's
an energy that you can channel -and-and do something with.
-Yeah. He is with you
every step of the way, and all the amazing things
that you're gonna do. -Right... -Do them
as though he's still here. -Right. -Do them because
he didn't have the chance to, but you do,
and that's big for him. And that's big for all of the
people who come through. They don't have the chance
to speak out or tell his story
about what he went through. He's not able to do that,
but you are. And that's something that,
for him, would make a difference. And that would keep his memory
alive in a big way. -And his influence alive.
-Yeah. That's nice. -That's good.
-TYLER: Yeah. -It's a good thing to take away.
-Definitely. -(sniffles) It's a nice-nice
thing to say. -Yeah. -Yeah.
-Ah... That was really, really sweet. That's what I needed to hear. Because when we were together
and we had... were drinking and doing drugs together,
that was our time then. And years and years,
you know, two decades passed, and... I'm
a much different person now. I have to be a little
more forgiving of myself.
