TUA # 92 - How Women (Unintentionally) Lie To Men

yeah all right guys welcome back to another unplugged Alpha episode podcast number 92. uh we're gonna be diving into how women unintentionally Lie To Men um I think it's a interesting discussion point because a lot of dudes are sort of sleep walking through life with this notion that um they commit they love they marry they engage and uh we're all good forever and ever until kingdom come until death do us part and all that sort of stuff and I'm not saying women you know lie but I think that's a way to sort of caption the title not just for attention but to get right to the point and there's just four things that I uh put in the description for this one that are relevant um because well if we're being honest I could do 40 but that would take hours so let's hop into these four items before we get started make sure you guys head over to YouTube and uh join me over there watching live is always the best way to do it so you can get in on the call-in segment which I usually drop about halfway through so join us on YT I'm just gonna drop this in all chat so if you're Elsewhere on the interwebs like um Waters or whatever head on over and um yeah subscribe hit the notification Bell the first one that is really disturbing for a lot of guys is they don't understand the reality of boredom in a long-term relationship and this gal Esther perel wrote a book quite a few years ago mating in captivity women actually get bored a lot faster in relationships than men do the first parts of the book are a little bit slower but when you get more towards the meat and potatoes of it and a lot of her stuff is pretty good if you have the patients to sort of dive down through all the different rabbit holes um definitely worth getting into mating in captivity add it to your reading list it'll help you understand a lot of the Dynamics I've I've come to realize that there's really three different angles I had this from when it comes to ant fully understanding relationship Dynamics there's the area of uh the red pill or the manoswamp if you want to Define it further to that sort of globalist sort of position there's Evo psych and then there's Psych um and I notice as I pay attention more and more on Twitter there's a lot of head butting in all three of those areas and I don't think any one of those areas gets it exactly right but I think if you take all the best parts from each one of those areas you can end up with very useful information and this first one about boredom I think is incredibly important um they've studied this and they know this factually and also behavioral speaking behaviorally speaking you know when you deal with these um folks that are Professionals in this field writing books on it stuff like that women's interest in long-term relationships or their desire for the guy it's more of a hockey stick shape they've got strong desire at the beginning and if you're not good with your game it doesn't go like this like it does for men okay that's that's a typical trajectory for most guys in a long-term relationship or in a marriage as it starts to decline you ask any God has been married for 10 20 years they'll make all kinds of jokes about their wives I haven't seen my wife's tits and whatever this that and the other thing it's just like you know they're trying to make light of a difficult situation with some comedy and that's how they handle it but the truth matters with women their their desire and their interest in a guy over a long-term basis it's more like a hockey stick it's straight down and then sort of across it doesn't always have to go this way you can push that bar up to a very similar position to the way the men's uh desire or boredom starts to grow in a long term um you know relationship because familiarity it it adds to the boredom you know it's one of the reasons why you'll notice when you're dating and you're living apart and you maintain separate households the desire is there you're looking forward to seeing each other you'll get more of the sexy texts hey wear this when I come over or make sure you're naked when I come over sort of thing there's not a lot of married people that get texts like hey make sure you're wearing this when I get home from work um although I've heard some people joke about it but I know in reality that's not really what happens so the first point that I wanted to cover in this is I don't think guys really understand and women tell them this you know I'll just love you forever you know just commit to me buy me a ring let's have a family it's going to be amazing we're going to love each other and all sort of stuff it's like yeah that's the idealistic notion but the truth of the matter is is women do get border faster border bored faster than men and it's one of the reasons why I believe anyway women file divorce um something like eight out of 10 times versus men who are doing it like two out of ten times um we've we've heard lots and lots of stories I've covered it in podcasts I've had callers calling and talk about stuff like this and it's not that uncommon I'm not saying it's common and it's the everyday Norm but it's not that uncommon for women just to you know 12 years down the road after the 2.1 kids and the house is uh taken care of and they got the cottage and the station wagon a white picket fence and a fluffy white dog with a sweater and all that sort of stuff it's not that uncommon to be like I'm bored and they go look for something else and you know sometimes it's a retreat to some yoga thing sometimes it's uh you know getting on the yoga yoga instructor if you know what I'm talking about um so it's it's something that exists you have to be aware aware of and they do say this uh factually and I and I strongly believe and I've mentioned this many many times on my channel my in-car videos as well is that you can do anything to a woman except bore her uh do not bore a woman make sure that you're doing something of some significance with your life if you're going to invest in let's say raising a family with you know with a woman or taking the pledge of a marriage you know for example uh the the burden of of doing that work is a is upon your shoulders to entertain an Exciter it's not on her shoulders um so make sure that you recognize that because it is a factual reality um we've got moth in The Green Room who's taking care of you guys uh call-in segment I should drop the link because I know a lot of you guys tend to you know pop in and uh don't get a chance or they're sitting there waiting so make sure if you do have a question tonight or you have uh something you disagree with me on or something you want to chop up you click that link I'm going to drop it in the YouTubes right now so join in and ask question actually I could probably get Mark to drop this in because he's got a new access to this week but here we go and pin message to the top so if you guys have a question hit that uh mouthful clear your audio and make sure uh you know you set up right for the Q a segment but let's carry on let's talk about cheating um it's unknown but actually true that women cheat as much as men I've heard some experts purport that it's actually more than what men do but because of [ __ ] shaming then it suppresses the factual data on this which I find is interesting because it it still seems to have some control or some play in culture and society today there's also the notion that women will do it that the women will go outside of the relationship um quite a bit more when they're ovulating that's usually when they do it right because there's that small window in the month where they've got that strong desire especially if it's not particularly interesting relationship or marriage or they're bored or they might be contemptuous that's another strong leading indicator that the knot is about to untie in your relationship as if she expresses contempt for you you have no idea how bad women can behave when they express contempt when they're disgusted with you they'll do anything and they'll lie about it right to your face so they'll come home after they've done it and they'll lie about it right to your face um don't think for a moment that women are sugar and spice and all things nice and I'm not trying to say this to separate you know the Sexes or to alienate it's just a fact reality man that you have to understand that again you know she can say the love you the kingdom come we're going to raise a family we're going to do all these things and you know be partners in cry but hey you know when Kevin and sales shows up and he's looking handsome and you're boring or you're being a douchebag or you can't hold down a job because you keep getting terminated um don't be surprised if Kevin starts looking like a more entertaining option on a long-term basis even if you've taken vows even if you've gotten married even if you have a family even if you have a house even if all of those things are in existence and in place women do cheat and a lot of experts purport it's more than men do now but again because of [ __ ] shaming that's one of those things that keeps it in check so the admission of guilt isn't always acknowledged that's reality man it is what it is um the other interesting point that I want to sort of spend a little more time on with this second one is the ovulation Port part of it and this is where [ __ ] gets a little bit weird because it's actually going to require that you pay attention to her ovulatory cycle um if she's dressing in comfortable clothing and hanging out with you Netflix and chill whatever for most of the month but then she gets dressed up puts on her lipstick and makeup and her push-up bra exposes a ton of skin stockings does her hair for hours hey I'm just going out with the girls we're just gonna do a girls night we're gonna do dinner sort of thing and you start to pay attention to her ovulatory patterns and she's doing it when she's ovulating that's a pretty good sign that she's not into you and things are about to go down or they might already be going down um it's fine for the girls to get together it's fine from having dinner that's fine but if she's if she's dressing up more when she's going out than she is in your company or when you guys go out and do things you should be raising an eyebrow and asking questions of yourself as to why why is this happening that's interesting whenever there's a change in Behavior whenever there's whatever your Spidey senses start to tingle you got to ask yourself why why is that happening right and then you start taking a look around well let's let's try to understand this oh that's interesting she's ovulating these these three days oh and in the middle of that she wanted to go out with all her girlfriends I know she didn't come back till four o'clock in the morning oh and she took a shower before she got into bed oh you know start asking some questions of yourself um you have to be attentive you know this sort of stuff because it does happen it does exist and it is something that is unintentional and that men it's not unintentional it it's intentional when it happens but the unintentional lie of um you know the promise of perfection the promise of true love into perpetuity you have to understand these things right let's talk about uh mate switching which is also known as monkey branching if you don't know what that what a monkey is I'll illustrator for you they hang from One Tree they monkey Branch they grab another one before they continue on with this Branch they have to let go of this one so there's a period of time where they have two branches in tow before they decide to let the momentum carry them on this is a funny little term that has been around for quite a few years and I'll reiterate it today and what it is but women do monkey Branch faster than you think we think as guys especially when there's hurt involved when there's disappointment when there's let down involved that um you know she's probably behaving the same way you know she's probably crying in her room she's probably you know sulking about it maybe journaling about it she's sitting in a room journaling About It by candlelight with a feather stick in the ink Dipper like you think in the movies none of those things really happen Okay um they've surveyed women and I covered this in my book by the way if you guys are new to the channel you should get the book because this entire podcast Series has built on what this best-selling book has become and will include parts of a lot of this these talking points in my follow-up book and the updates that are going into this one later on this year there's some big things coming this year but women have admitted that they have a backup plan 50 of the time now the admission of having a backup plan fifty percent of the time begs the question well what are the other 50 thinking about if half of the women are essentially admitting to being [ __ ] right they're they're basically in a survey format admitting that they are not good wife material that they are potentially going to go out of the relationship and they actually have a backup plan so you gotta ask yourself you know the question well okay well what about the other half because again we've got checks and balances in place that still exists like slut-shaming uh which are preventing other women from admitting that they have a backup plan and in many cases not just one it's like several um if you're a younger guy you probably haven't heard this yet so if you're in your 20s for example this is probably not a sound bite that that you're familiar with the first time I heard this I think I was like 29 or 30 or something like this and there was this gal that was dating um a buddy of mine in the office and um I don't know he was he wasn't around or maybe he had switched jobs or something like that but he had but he had disappeared anyway so she's like hey you know let's go out and get lunch I'm like sure whatever you know let's go get a bite to eat I'm not I gotta type and it's not redheads let's just say that okay so she's a redhead and you know we're sitting down and she's all so I'm gonna have a baby and I'm thinking myself oh that's interesting I didn't even know you were pregnant so when did this happen and she's like just looking at me and I said well what's the plan and then she keeps staring at me and she goes I'm looking at it and I'm like what and she legit thought that I would impregnate her because I was her backup plan for what didn't happen with the guy that she was dating this friend of mine this is the this is the vortex of screwry that you know tends to happen um you know as women start to get older especially you know when they get into the 30s definitely into their late 30s a lot of them contemplate backup plans right if it doesn't work out with this then I know that my beauty has an expiry date or is on the decline perhaps so I'll back up with this guy or that guy and it's not even that uncommon for them to do it with like not just straight dudes that are potentially you know friends of of theirs like he's just a friend that's why I always tell you guys nobody bangs more girlfriends and wives than he's just a friend right because a lot of the he's just a friend are in the orbit of the backup plan sometimes it's a gay dude right like I've seen women that have that have held a backup plan with a gay dude right because it's like well it's not if I'm not gonna have a baby with a guy and have a family then I'll just get Charles over there to knock me up sort of thing um monkey branch is a real thing it like backup plans and and moving from guy to guy happen quite rapidly I believe it's happened quite rapidly historically speaking from an evolutionary perspective because you go back a thousand years woman had a a mate a partner you know whatever things didn't work out he died saber-tooth tiger got him you know he died in war or whatever you know he was murdered something like that uh like men typically went out and did you know the more dangerous stuff and they still do you know today to some degree there's not a lot of safety and checks and balances like we have but she would have to move to another guy she would have to Monkey Branch very quickly right she'd have to have a backup plan and when women leave relationships when they're when they're going outside of the relationship when they're betraying the guy that's committed to her the monkey Branch happens way faster than you think so them sitting in their room writing in the little diary about how things went down sulking about it it's probably not the way that it's going down you know for being honest they do move a lot quicker and the last one before we start getting to the uh call in Q a stuff and again guys the stream yard link is in a live chat of YouTube it says join in and ask a question I'm off we'll uh check your uh Audio and Video in the green room before you hop in but we'll we'll get to some q a tonight and the last one is um guys don't understand that women date more dudes than you date women simultaneously the notion of spinning plates I think is a good concept for guys to use especially if you've been burnt in the past if you've been divorced and you need to sort of establish what the dating landscape looks like date multiple women simultaneously in a non-monogamous fashion is essentially what I prescribe to most guys but most guys don't understand because they'll go out there they'll find some interest in a a gal they they date once maybe twice and as soon as she touches his his pee pee or shows a little bit of strong intimacy or interest in him um he's not talking to anybody else right she hasn't even brought up a talk yet she hasn't said hey where do we stand where do you see this going I really dig your Vibe I want to claim you don't want to share you blah blah that hasn't even happened yet she's still dealing with lots of guys the things that most people don't understand men especially is that women are never really totally single right even if you're talking to a girl in a dating app she could be in a relationship with somebody else she could be banging two other guys you know Friends with Benefits she could be dating five other guys simultaneously try to weigh them out to see what they're made of um I shared the story a long time ago I'll tell you again you know I was out with this girl once and um you know she was bi and she's you know telling me about this girl that she's setting up on her phone she hands me your phone she walks away I'm reading the thing okay and I close it and when I close it I'm left with her um text message inbox um she's walked off I'm just sitting here looking at it and wouldn't you know it there was at least a dozen different conversations going on with other people mostly dudes um no admission to me that she was doing this I of course didn't ask because I just thought whatever you know she's dating me she's got strong interest so everything seems on the up and up but legitimately the way that women put guys in their phones that I've noticed anyway is it'll be first name and then profession so it'll be You Know Rich entrepreneur uh Kev dentist uh Kyle uh broker of lumber or whatever you know you get the point Steve accounting Kevin VP of sales right um and it was like one it's like holy [ __ ] like this chick's talking a lot of dudes right and it's like all recent conversations um men don't understand that women entertain options several options simultaneously and they could be intimate with none of them they could be intimate with all of them right um you'll only I guess learn that if you start diving down the rabbit hole and start reading messages like that if you still have possession of the phone but understand that women aren't just dating you they're generally not just dating you and women generally aren't just single they're almost always dealing with somebody talking to somebody could be in a situationship and pretending like they're single um so watch the behavior and listen to less of what they're saying is I guess what I'm trying to drive at here when we're going through these unintentional lies because I don't think that women do this stuff to like hurt dudes I don't think that it's intentional where you know they go out of their way to destroy or damage a guy's life it's just a consequence of guys subscribing to comforting lies that don't serve them when they need to listen to the uncomfortable truth like when I say things like women generally date more AI simultaneously than what [ __ ] dudes do right or you know women do cheat but they do it more so when they're ovulating like that like that ruins a guy's mindset you know they're thinking is like why would she do that like why would she betray me when she's ovulating well think about it dude what can happen when she's ovulating what happens to her desire when she's ovulating she's got more sexual interest then too doesn't she right so be attentive to behaviors over words is basically what I'm boiling us down to for you guys and again it's not just four it's not just ten there's lots of these things out there and without going through every single one and highlighting every single thing I want you to understand that there is doing and then they're saying and you should always believe the doing everybody men men and women okay you're dealing with a potential business partner who's offering you um I don't know Equity stake at their whatever new startup thing that they're doing or their new District or division or whatever talk talk talk talk talk okay well what about the action you know where's the action in that right like there there has to be a connection to action that's that that's where you have to connect but I believe that guys love hearing words man there's this old saying and I'll get to the Q a in a second but there's this old saying [ __ ] baffles brains right and guys love [ __ ] I'll tell you that you know more than more than anybody else out there guys love [ __ ] they just love hearing [ __ ] about oh I love you oh we're going to be together forever you have to remember something guys when a woman expresses an emotion to you today at that moment always add right now okay I'm gonna explain that to you she says I love you I will love you forever then you have to think in your head right now because that's how she feels right now she reserves the right to change her opinion in five seven twelve years down the road right if you're not you know pursuing Excellence if you're not on your purpose if you're not on your grind if you've gained 200 pounds if you're incompetent you can't hold down a job and you can't provide for the family she reserves her right to change her mind about the love that she expressed for you today because she only felt it in that moment right now the burden of you performing on a long-term basis is on your shoulders okay I'm not going to get any more I think I've talked enough on the show let's get into the Q a segment again the link to call in it's pinned at the top you got a question about anything you want to chop it up anything you're stuck on anything you disagree with me on you have a better solution to Let's Hear It uh let's hop into the um ad reel for the next uh minute and change and we'll get back into the Q a again the links pinned at top mop's taking care of you right there this episode is brought to you by the unplugged Alpha supplements and Grande Soap Company Brothers if you're like me and you take what you put in your body seriously you'll want to use the unplugged Alpha supplements an obsession with absorption is what sets this line apart from the others you want to make sure that you absorb as much of the supplements as possible so you don't end up peeing out expensive urine my supplement line is made in the United States from the highest 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psychologist and pheromone expert to maximize attractiveness to the opposite sex go visit coopersoap.com and get 10 off your order today guys check out my website at richcooper.ca for more information on booking me for coaching my community my courses and a whole bunch more you can also find all the useful links pinned Below in the top YouTube comment of all my videos now let's get on with the show all right yeah let's hop into this q a we got a few callers here uh I'm going to do Elijah and then contestant and we've got Chris as well so let's hit Elijah first how you doing buddy hi Rich how are you good what do you got for me tonight um so a few weeks ago you did a podcast with the sartorial yeah um good podcast during that uh conversation you had with him he started talking about um like living in the west and how he was he's Islamic and his converted and stuff like that and um he said you started talking about like uh women and promiscuity and stuff like this and he asked you he's like What's Your solution because I've got one and he said he thinks religion and reverting back to some kind of religious practice is gonna stop a lot of these issues we have with you know promiscuity and um even like even just men having good values and stuff like this and the more I kind of think about it the more like I kind of draw the conclusion that like if we all lived I'm not saying we've got to be like you know [ __ ] Saints or whatever and virgins till we're 30 but if we all lived a bit more consistently with some some of those like uh foundational things that religions promote we might all be a bit better off and I just wanted to hear what like if you because you don't really talk about religion that much and I just wanted to hear your piece on it is and if you don't if you don't think it's a good idea why so my take on religion is I don't subscribe to any organized religion uh I grew up in a house where my dad when I was young uh fell for the Jehovah's Witness stuff that caused a lot of acrimony between my parents and my mom was a Greek Orthodox although not a regular uh you know uh subscriber to weekly events but you know Easter and Christmas were big on her side of the family um look man the thing with religion is it's like one of those areas that you're not supposed to talk about but then people always want to force you to talk about it sort of thing and it's like they all think they're right they all have flaws some of them are significant flaws yeah you know standard conventional Western type of religions like Christians and Catholics and all that sort of stuff which I believe dominate most of Western countries now um they like they've embraced the progressive weirdness right you know there's rainbows everywhere like there's like there there's literal celebrations in the month of June being proud about degeneracy and and pedophilia and some weird stuff and I'm not sure how they all interconnect but they seem to intertwine somehow so with that being said it seems like as you know from an outsider that Islam tends to solve most of that doesn't it or that's what jewel and Andrew will say and a few of the other uh guys that are recent converts I don't know I guess my take is I'll just watch and see um the problem that I have with most religions is it requires you to bend the knee to something that is supposedly greater than yourself right and then you could start having arguments about well if you're gonna put mental point of origin as your main component of your decision making and where you're going to go with life and doing the work on yourself how can you put something else ahead of yourself so there's lots of different conversations that we can have with religion maybe one day I'll dedicate a show to it uh because I don't think I've ever done that yet but the second part to your question was what again um it was basically just that really like I think we'll we'll as well he talked about the promiscuity piece too because I think that um like uh you say like you've got a like one of the red flags for women is if they slept with lots of people so right I don't know like I just like the way I think about it is if if religion was a bit more prominent because it's like it seems like everyone back in the day was very religious and then science came along and we all just kind of like it just got [ __ ] off a bit and like I like I think there's just there's some value in it but there's some like it's it lies somewhere in the middle do you know what I mean like yeah I can't I can't say for sure you know at this point if there if there's anyone that I agree with um I I don't think you're gonna put the genie back in the bottle like this like this question of promiscuity you know that you bring it up it's like okay well if she shared her body with 50 guys and then all of a sudden converts to Islam or some you know religion where she's forgiven for her past sins or whatever um has she though like has that changed her her past has her past Behavior been erased or does it still exist could she have been Alpha widowed by a bunch of guys could the imprint that's been left on her still exist and I believe the answer to that is yes I don't think that you can opt out of your past your pass is your past it's it's what creates who you are today right so um converting or acknowledging any kind of organized religion which might offer forgiveness I don't think that's a solution it being implemented in the family unit to prevent promiscuity or degeneracy things like that sure I think I think that's one of the areas that religion can be helpful if you subscribe to the original rule book The problem is is the original rule book in most religions it's just being Rewritten not like every 100 years now it's like every year they have a new rule it's like oh we don't have enough people coming you know on on Sundays you know congregation well let's include this new bizarre flag and you know bring them all in sort of thing and it's like well what's the point having the rule book yeah okay yeah that makes sense yeah yeah I'll I'll do a dedicated episode on religion in the future because I can speak from my perspective but I think it would be probably a good idea to have some you know have on a a Jew a Catholic uh and a guy from Islam like all these different sort of angles and maybe sort of chop it up um Elliott wholesale podcast a while ago and he's like kind of I kind of like say his videos again and he's like he's gone pretty hard on the on the Christianity piece I think it's going to be the solution too well he had me on his podcast a couple weeks ago I think it just published on his channel so if you go to his channel in the last week he brought me on for an interview he wanted to talk about the red flags um which was a cool conversation I had with him but he definitely indicated very early on in the podcast that he's all about um you know self-control and encouraging guys you know not to be you know promiscuous or not indulging I think was a word that he used and it's like well if everybody's indulging anyway and you're talking a a very small handful of the population you're not going to change the course of humanity with that but yeah check that out from that perspective but I'll but I'll do a podcast in the future just specifically on religion all right I appreciate you thank you Rich all right man take care all right yeah that question of religion is always I don't know it's just one of those topics that I suppose has to be dealt with you have to confront it all right let's uh we got contestant here who is a female caller just got out of a long-term relationship hi contestant once called a professional girlfriend it says in the subtitle you're gonna have to unmute yourself there you go sorry I am on a mobile device and you're on one of my 87 tabs okay my my apologies uh what do you got for me tonight professional girlfriend or formerly known as a professional girlfriend I suppose right um I don't have much to say except for that the I've been listening since eight o'clock I think is when I logged in and everything you said was so I was just like yes yes yes this is so true I wish more people would listen or grasp a hold of these Concepts so I'm just a big fan of things that you're preaching I mean all the way downtown religion stuff I agree I um I think I take a similar stance that you do to a lot of these principles so um what's it what's a professional girlfriend or or a formerly known as professional girlfriend what is that in your view oh I um I'm coming to a place in my life where I'm accepting and realizing that even though I'm a pretty independent person I'm super codependent relationship like emotionally and um I've no surprise had things in my childhood that have um contributed to that so I have jumped from I'm a serial monogamist I'd like to say and I have jumped from relationship to relationship for most of my adult life um do you think that's a good thing no that's a horrible thing but I also that's a little strong it's not uh I wouldn't recommend it to others but you know you know more and you you know better and you do better so that's kind of where I'm at why is it that you think that that you can't find one that sticks soon once um I think I'm more afraid of dysfunction than I am of being alone so when I am with a partner for an amount of time things seem perfect and that honeymoon phase wears off conflict starts up I think that oh God I'm about to watch a car accident um I think that my uh I guess my stance is reasonable and the other person continues to be emotionally heightened or elevated it it scares me I mean plainly the the fear of the dysfunction continuing scares me and why is every single relationship declared as dysfunctional for you though that's what I'm curious about um okay not every single one of them was some of them we were we were to go into each one and be like oh well this person wasn't going to college when I was and I found our conversations were changing and then this other person really looked at money in a way that I kept trying to understand and didn't and we differed there so value sometimes it's been values but um other times I can see how if I would have maybe stayed longer through like an extra there like we've gone through extra therapists or something that um it could have worked but it's always I mean I I assume a lot of the responsibility do you think that therapy works in long-term relationships um I don't know I think it depends I I wouldn't it doesn't seem to work for many people whenever I talk to somebody that's like well you know we went to therapy but that didn't work out it I've never once had a person call in or do a private consult with me where they're like oh yeah that was the best thing ever it actually solved everything for us well to you of course the therapy didn't work but there are I've heard people out there who they loved it I also have friends that they started going to a therapist once every few months just as like a maintenance thing because they knew that even the smartest even the best people or relationships are gonna at some point be wrong or have something that comes up so they wanted to learn in advance but hmm I'm sorry you said that you've that you've gone from monogamous relationship uh from one another how many of these have you been through okay and how old are you engagements no marriages nothing like that though 31 in July next month okay and what's the plan for you now that you're in your 30s are you looking to build a family or I have told myself I'm not a super religious person but I was pretty religious in college um and did not have a boyfriend for most of that time I I guess there was also another stretch of time where I wasn't dating someone for about a year but I've told myself that if Jesus started his ministry at 33 then if I'm 30 right now I have a solid three years to be on par with like the alleged son of the most high so I'm my plan right now is just to build my own foundation and gonna focus on myself and if someone ends up coming along in that time that's great but I do have some pretty high walls up right now because kind of like you mentioned I think my like my idea of a clock and all of those other things are ticking but in my sense it's like well I don't want to jump into a mistake I want to really really be careful and like it's a self-fulfilling prophecy though like I've like I've talked to a few gals now where they've got walls up and usually the deeper they are into their 30s and the more unsuccessful relationships they've had whether it was one or six or it was you know whatever it happened to be uh the walls get higher and higher and at the end of the day I mean I think the notion of well we'll just see what happens you know like if it happens it happens if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen I guess it's meant to be I don't think that's a good way to approach it right like we we have limited grains of sand in The Hourglass and once they drop into the second jar then that's it you don't get them back and maybe there's a bonus round you know we're all cold and six feet under maybe there isn't we don't know but but this life that we're living right now is one that you got to be more intentional about and if you're intentional about building something or forming a family unit or having kids you got to be open to meeting a guy that's on board on the same plane one of the great mistakes that I don't think you know women understand and you know maybe you can feedback from your perspective I'd like to hear you because you're totally Anonymous nobody knows who you are but the notion of moving from one guy to another guy to another guy so Esther perel the lady that I was talking about earlier she wrote that book meeting in captivity one of the things that I've heard her say is that we used to be one person for life right so you know you go back 500 years you find a person it was that person for life you know until death do us part sort of thing now it's one person at a time right and that's some kind of like weird new bastardized version of monogamy but one of the things that ends up happening is if you have difficulty in a relationship you're less likely to try to work things out because you've already ended six of them right so it's like okay well what happens if we run into seven or eight or nine like it becomes easier and easier as time goes on if you can't work through [ __ ] so I think it's more important to be more discerning I do feel that truth and I would love to know what to do with it because I don't really have an answer for that but I have thought that also I something that came up for me when you were speaking in the beginning was a quote that I heard recently uh that I really liked was that we actually have two lives and the second one starts when we realize we only have one yeah and I think that's super applicable to a lot of people in my age group yeah we do don't we it's true all right um well thanks for uh hopping on and chopping it up I got to get to uh Chris and Lana that are waiting and a few others but uh yeah if you've got anything else in the future let me know cool all right take care all right uh let's get uh oh hang on moff is in the back saying Atlanta's got a bounce so let's take her next uh Lana how you doing good how are you good what do you got for me I heard you got to run so I'm putting you up next yeah yeah so for me like my biggest issue here I'm Russian I I moved to United States like six years ago and I was traveling a lot like six states I was moving every year to a new state and I was obviously dating just going on a date every time but I couldn't meet like a normal person in terms of like uh like cultural differences are so big and in my culture like Eastern European girls um it's just so common that for men to be gentlemen to Value their time to Value like woman itself while United States I can't receive the same how do where do I meet those people who are like same as me like I tried like you want to meet Russians is what you're saying no it's not like specifically right I know but you want to meet men that are strong virtuous masculine and know how to lead or gentlemen like this sort of stuff where do you live right now uh California Orange County yeah well well I mean you're in the heart of soy right there so that's one of the big problems you have you're in skinny jean man bun you know soyville where they drink soy lattes you know for breakfast lunch and dinner so that's that's one of the problems that you're going to experience not that there aren't strong masculine men in California there are there's just you know proportionally speaking to the population you're going to find more softer liberal type men so one of the things you can do is you can move to a more conventionally sort of masculine more conservative type of State uh if that's an option for you but you will run into a lot of soft weak beta-tized men in that part of the world yeah like no I don't want to move like I live next to Los Angeles and San ity like I don't know know what they want and stuff like that but they really I don't understand what's the reason like I feel like I'm one out of hundreds of girls because if I say no to him because of this this and that he's gonna run to other girls who's gonna say yes right away that's why it is just I'm not a value anymore here you don't find yourself to be valuable why again because like for example even online dating online right I'm one of the Thousand girls right I'm gonna tell him no if we're gonna go out and like hey I want a serious relationships or something he's like oh I'm just doing something casual something or like okay I want a serious but I'm don't want to invest my time and like anything in you and the thing is I'm gonna tell him no but he's gonna find a bunch of other girls who's gonna say yes well that's yeah that's one of the problems is that um it's easy for men and women to indulge now without commitment that's that's just a reality of of the Western World right is that toxic feminism has lied to women and they've said you know you can be promiscuous be as promiscuous as men you know without consequence men are now indulging in all these women because they exist everywhere right there's uh women have been more open with their sexuality than any other time in history like I have friends that live in Russia right now I have a friend that's actually a Moscow I was just talking to him a couple of days ago and he's like the women who are beautiful there's no there's nobody that's obese they're all feminine you know I can lead they follow it's it's awesome like these are the things he's saying so you're now in California going well I'm looking for a guy I'm looking for a western guy I like it here I don't want to move but guys aren't taking me serious yeah well if you want to be in a bargain bargaining position for for guys to take you serious well let's take a look at Lana then so how old are you 24. and you live in Orange County you said right yeah I live in Orange County okay um and you're looking for a serious guy to what like date get married you wanna have a family I'm 24. I'm doing my masters I'm living on my own like I pay all my bills I work I like what are your masters I'm I'm doing everything on my own and it makes me more masculine and I can't show my fem like feminine energy because every time like I go somewhere and guys like hey you know I don't want to like uh drive to you you can just go by yourself can you just come and like remember yourself like wow like that's so crazy for me okay so so you're in school right now you're doing a master's in what and business administration business administration and then what's the plan once you have that uh degree well so I'm a basketball coach I'm a basketball player uh I used to play division one basketball and I earned this um like scholarships because okay so how so how how tall are you I'm six one that's another tall girl okay called in everyone and you're a professional basketball player or yeah yeah and how much do you weigh uh how am I still away yeah right that's the that's six foot one uh I don't know on kilograms it's like 85 kilograms yeah so you're so you're a big strong girl yeah you need a guy that's like six foot seven basically to deal with six foot one yes so what are the problems that you're going to run into at six foot one which any gal you know your height it's a professional basketball player is going to run into is a you're not you're not desirable for most western men right like the cut off for me and I'm about six foot two and change cut off for me is like five eight five nine like I won't date five ten five eleven they're just too tall for me all right it's too much so you're like your options as far as do here let's here let's bust out the I got standards bro calculator all right Lana we are about to dive down a deep rabbit hole for you viewers stay with me um what is the age range of the of the ideal man that you're looking for like 26 to 34. 26 34 okay so tight obviously you don't want a married guy uh any preference uh white black Asian European uh oh Caucasian we'll say European uh minimum height for you that you'll date six three six three exclude obese or do you like thick guys okay and minimum income that this knight in shining armor must make for you oh at least like seven to ten thousand just at least a month per month okay so let's call it 120 000 a year yeah all right you're right this is the probability of you finding this guy provided that he is going to also dig your Vibe back he's going to be looking at you like oh yeah I want Lana um the stats are point zero six two percent of the available male population between the ages of 26 to 34 that meet your that meet your standards it's a very very small part of the male population right yeah well you're you're trying to attract what's basically lower than half a percent of the available guys that you can date with assuming that they're gonna like you back right so you've like you've got to tick off every every potential box that you can if this guy shows up what do what does a typical guy in that category want I mean if he's a strong masculine guy he's going to want a feminine gal he's going to want a woman that's able to make a house at home that's got culinary skills it's agreeable that dress is feminine and looks beautiful and that sort of stuff like that um you're gonna have a hard time finding that guy I'll be honest with you you would you would be better off at six foot one living in Holland because everybody there is tall you're gonna have way more options over there like um I'm guessing in in Orange County where you're cruising and if you have a preference for tall Caucasian men over six foot three like I think something like 16 of the North American population is over six foot tall and something like four percent is over six foot two yeah and I know I understand that I know and there's not a lot of men like this right Atlanta any guy that's six foot three or higher he's spoiled for choice right he can he can pick a five foot eight supermodel over you right and she doesn't even need to cut because he's already loaded because he's got to be making ten thousand dollars a month so you see what I'm saying like like you got the odds stacked up against you so for you it's a numbers game you know if you're gonna stay there and it's where you want to be and it's to the and it's the degree that you want to have by the way men don't really care about your degree especially if they're going to be the household provider and you're going to have a family you're going to stay home and raise a kid it doesn't really matter you know for you it's a backup plan for a lot of women it's uh you know I can do this myself I have my own place I can pay my bills I can take care of things like that notion Lana leans more into toxic feminism than it does into conventional femininity yeah but I can't trust that like someone sometimes like someday that's exactly it you can't trust that's that's exactly it and this is what feminism has been telling women is you can't trust men right you have to have a degree to fall back on right yeah so look welcome to the great United States of America where you live I don't live there I live in Canada obviously but welcome to the West you know the new world and all that sort of stuff it sucks it sucks it's not as easy as people think right um you you if you want to stand out to this guy that's over six foot three that's gonna that's gonna pick you over everybody else you've got a you've gotta tick off every box for them you got to be absolutely physically fit look sexy and beautiful in a nice dress compliment to his life so sweet you know like tick off all the boxes that these types of guys want you to tick off right um they're not going to care about your degree on the wall you know I hate to say it they're not going to care about your basketball career yeah I hate to say it they just won't really I thought like like as much more I'm doing that it's more attractive that like it's not a basketball player I have a degree I have this this and that there's Lana if if if uh basketball achievements or uh degrees in Business Administration were sexy then Playboy magazine would have degrees in them and basketball gals dressed up in their you know their basketball outfits but they don't they put women in lingerie because it's sexy right there's no guy that's ever going to look at your degree on a wall and be like Oh Lana's degree is so hot I just I need to look at that more it's just looking so good it's never going to happen right they're going to look at you as an individual it's a big feminist lie you still there with me or did I lose you with a connection hello there you are yeah I'm here yeah that's how it is I'm sorry I got you that's that's the reality of the world is be is be intentional with the guy that you're looking for you're obviously gonna have to draw a line in the sand because you're quite tall so you know I know women don't like to look down at a guy they want to look up at a giant so there's not a lot of giants out there but you know put yourself in rooms where there's successful tall men you know where are you going to find them lots of athletes you know you got to find an athlete then basically is what you're looking for but yeah I don't I don't see a lot of athletes dating six foot one basketball players with business degrees this is the truth the dating supermodels so you have to you have to pull that supermodel car you know you got to pull that beauty card you got to tune it tune in the femininity get get off leaning on the degree and on my basketball career and lean more on being a beautiful feminine woman okay okay thank you for your advice it looks like you got to run off I guess you're playing a game all right good luck have fun thank you so much see ya ciao all right let's get uh Chris in here Chris sorry for the delay man I I had to grab Atlanta first because she had to run for her little game thing what do you got for me man oh good brother how are you good to see you again good good what's what's cracking it yeah before right yeah you remember me back in uh podcast in February moth has it here in the chat long-term relationship LTR with the boob job okay Fill Me In Yeah man so you call them taylormades if you remember that so everything turned out to be fine no story was that TaylorMade tatas yes sir so everything turned out to be okay it took a little getting used to but no scarring blah blah blah I don't even really want to mention that it's just for you to remember uh the topic yeah so I've been having a little rough patch with this chick and I want you to kind of tell me whether or not it's an outlier of things I've noticed with her or it's all just red flags okay because I've had some situations with her where I spoke to you in February that following March me and her went to Columbia our first or second official trip together everything was excellent we had a great time introduced me to her best friend even met a family member her grandmother it's pretty much like her second mom everything was fine so the way I kind of keep it is more so you know you keep the distance right we live about an hour apart um we don't text off and on every day all goddamn day but everybody who usually kept in touch you know checked in on each other everything was great now just the preface of my comments I told you last time I told her when I met her I'm not going to marry you I'm not interested necessarily I Won't Say I'm not interested in monogamy but it's going to be like this until you know you prove yourself a little bit more and at the same time you and I know to spin plates or whatever well to give you a little backstory about her and I knew this at the time when I spoke to you but again it was never supposed to be this serious we just happened to end up gravitating and liking a specific girl more than the others that's what happened to me so she was married for five years when she was with the guy for six okay she's 30 years old right now we do the math she was 25. now my whole rationale like I told you she's about 80 85 percent of what you want in a woman and you're not looking to settle down that's pretty damn good good odds for us and my other thought process was if she was with one guy for those five to six years which I kind of confirmed amongst family members and whatnot it's better than her running around for five years that's just how I think so feel free to kick my ass whenever you feel like it did she have any kids out of that marriage no that's a big selling point okay good though the back story for her is that I don't want to come off like a dick but a lot of the Latinas I've met I live in Florida so I run into a lot of them a lot of broken families even though they don't recognize it that way perhaps it turns to be like a cultural thing to them so it's normal but grew up you know nuclear family she has a younger brother but surprised she has an older half-sister her dad was married her dad is about six seven years younger than her mother married at 22 her mom was like 28. her dad stepped out had a kid behind the mom's back even though they were married the mom still went ahead they were married had this girl I'm seeing had their brother of course they divorce the mom and the kids moved to Miami along with the dad even though they're not together the dad goes back to Colombia you get the gist so that takes a lot of wear and tear on somebody so automatically in my mind I'm like this girl whether or not she admits it Daddy Issues all right and so um no relationship with her father brother I got the red flags right here I'm gonna hit you with them okay she says she has a great relationship with her father she travels a lot and I used to call her out all the time that yeah you're traveling with other men and other friends not jealousy just to [ __ ] with her because that's what we do and she's like no I go with my dad why do you say that her Instagram corroborates that Instagram is not private by the way but her dad is the kind of guy who's like he never grows up he's very selfish she always says my dad loves everybody except my mother ding ding ding okay but when I say you know she has a little bit of issues it never corroborates right okay um so over this past weekend in Colombia everything was fine for the first two nights but before we left the Columbia she wanted to have a chat with me before we went on the second trip and she wanted to bring out the you know where do we stand the yada yada and I brought it up to her like I did in the beginning listen we need to keep things as as they are you know it's you and I I and you I always say you are my number one you are the only girl I actually get physical with and want to do things with but there are women that reach out to me whether I knew them before you or I know them after you but trust my word and that you're the only person I do things with I love what we have going I want to continue it to see how it plays out and you and I both know we're doing that to kind of see how it plays out with her right you have to test them so we end up going to Colombia anyway she never had a problem with that we go to Colombia the first two nights of four everything is great the third night there we go to Medellin from Bogota we fly in and I tell you what man I don't know what the hell is going on but she all of a sudden her attitude the mood kind of flips right and she started getting testy with me so if I'm in like the airport and I want to exchange money because we need cash he flips out like we'll do it and then she throws a hissy fit red flags that oh I told you I could get it from the bank we lost like how much money on the exchange but you don't ever listen to me she says that a lot typical [ __ ] yeah when you go to the Airbnb the guy wants me to send all my personal information to his [ __ ] inbox I'm like well why do I have to send him my passport all this stuff I already paid everything's reserved she flipped out on me again why do you have to do this and that I wigged out on her man I stomped my foot down I slammed the door open and I [ __ ] told her off I said not every time I opened my mouth you know there's a problem enough already she goes takes her shower this is the day when we go into the Airbnb our third night there and I hear her crying and sobbing in the bathroom and we're ready to go out for a good night right and I knew what the game was she comes out acting like nothing's wrong she's dressed to the nines I said I sit on top of her I say this is your chance to say whatever the hell you want to me right now this is your only chance and she goes in and she starts saying I don't think that I can you know deal with you and how you are anymore blah blah blah I said do continue how am I my attitude um it's always about you you never listen to me you know it's almost like predicated and I'm and I told her I'm not going to change for you or for anyone if you think I don't respect you you know that's a shame that you think that because she throws that out a lot I don't respect her right even though I take care of her and her grandma I treat them respectfully but I said are you sure that you can't really uh you're still not sure whether or not you can continue to be with me like it's a burden and she looked at me with a [ __ ] face and said yeah I said all right cool get dressed let's go I just laughed in her face the rest of that night I'm just ignoring her man like not ignoring her being very classy being very very uh very Curt to myself and on a dickish way we're going to eat I'm making all the decisions oh I want to eat here we sit down I'm or I'm not a drinker man I'm ordering drinks for myself delicious food which is my favorite and she's just sitting there like a dumb ass honor you know looking at her phone because she doesn't know what to say like wow I didn't get this guy and it's not the first time this has happened with prior women but with her this is a really big step for me to be doing this 30 brother and you're how old I'm 33. she uh she uh exactly I mean I literally I want to hit some red flags with you you tell me what the outliers are if she's just a whack how many how many of the red flags does she have on my list I got one I got two just read them out just read them out which which ones so we got Daddy Issues yeah we got keeps men from her past around that being a best friend not necessarily men but a best friend okay we got jealousy that's typical of women she has the tattoos I told you I'm not really fond of and a bunch of piercings in the ears how many times [ __ ] one two three four five six six or seven man and she wants another and she would but let me tell you why I look at it as an outlier you kick my ass whenever you see fit okay go all right so it doesn't he fits and she does whatever so we go out everything is fine near the end of the night she wants to get cozy again she starts reaching out after I put her through a [ __ ] storm end of the night uh Rich we're in the jacuzzi we enjoy ourselves it's a great night we still have a conversation listen if you're not comfortable being with me maybe it's a cultural thing maybe you need to get with someone who's of your culture you know maybe they understand you more Santana go get with a beta you know Colombian boy that you were with for the next day everything is great but I'm still kind of pissed off so she has an agenda planned we go out and I'm still very respectful what do you want to eat it doesn't matter love whatever you want to eat I'm down for where do you want to go baby it's your country whatever the [ __ ] you want I'm down for I'm here to spend time with you because I didn't have to deal with it you you deferring to her in all these areas like what do you want to eat whatever you want where do you want to go wherever you want to go like like she's she's she's actually [ __ ] testing you to see if your leadership masculine type of material like Latin women do this right I know brother I know I I was wrong with the punches at this point just to see where it goes yeah yeah everything to tell me I know the reason why I'm doing that is because it was the first time and the amount of months the six months prior that I've stopped my foot down and taken the assertiveness should be [ __ ] I know the [ __ ] tests don't stop but I've done it countless times and it's like she kind of just hit me she she overdid it this time so I was flipping it on her to make her to show her listen you don't like me for how I am when I'm with you let me show you how I am when I'm not acting like myself we'll see how much you [ __ ] like it and there's a reason why I did that so needless to say she wasn't happy I'm giving her attitude the whole day but let me tell you how this escalates the same story till the end of the night we have this huge blow up over launch where I put her in her place and told her enough quit saying I disrespect you yada yada we get home and mind you within the months leading up she kept asking are you talking to anybody I already had this CL this question answered to her brother I said they're women that reach out to me I'm not doing anything with them but you want to let them know that you [ __ ] can if she acts out she also when I first met her said I love the way you interact with people when we're out at restaurants when we're in the mall I mean women gravitate towards when I talk with them Smiles they make conversation and we know why but men as well she loved that about me but it tended to become more of an overbearance hence the jealousy and the Hissy Fits needless to say our last night there before we left we get back in the jacuzzi after we made up brother she did everything she could do to me under the sun and then some in that [ __ ] jacuzzi and I did whatever the hell I wanted to where I wanted to Etc this is the kicker all right he goes and takes a shower I go take a shower after she comes back out sits on the balcony says Chris she says this is your last chance to be honest with me are you are you talking to anybody else and I kept telling her [ __ ] I don't know what you're talking about tell me who I'm talking to and I'll confirm or deny she just keeps keeping it as a broad statement I told you but I'm not messing with anyone she says that's it we're done I can't take you you're lying and I can't trust you so I said what the hell is wrong with you she kept it quiet for a day and a half until we're back in the airport I spent the day of travel delays with a woman that wouldn't speak to me and I made it like for my ass she went through my phone she saw text messages of people I already knew and I met after and I told her about two of them one of them for a business opportunity two of them and she used it against me that I was lying to her the whole time even though in my mind when you asked me that I'm thinking she's asking if I'm [ __ ] around because I'd already I'd already answered it but the comprehension is not there let me just so let me just get to the point here because I mean I got a couple other people that want to hop on and ask some questions too and I see that this could potentially go down a whole bunch of different paths um so she's 30 years old she's got a bunch of red flags you've known her for how long now you said six months six months um she's had the talk Where Do We Stand you've basically and sorry you're number one I told her you're number one and uh let's keep it going but I just checked before yes sir I I told you last time we went to uh Georgia like for a weekend trip and I went to Columbia the first time they were excellent and I told her you're the only person I go on trips with I'm showing I always tell her actions speak louder than words I also tell her Mr rich don't make other people's problems your problems these red flags are all her [ __ ] problems and I told her and if she's just that jealous and that insecure which she denies she says her dad is a great influence on her when we know she's not um she divorced the husband who had a great job and she would bring up loyalty to me all the time love isn't everything Chris it's loyalty I said where do loyalty get you if your husband was so loyal to you you [ __ ] left him right look loyalty come on right like how many guys played with right exactly right like if you were loyal then I would be the only guy that you're with so let's start with this here sweetheart okay come on look um the guys in the chat are like complicate life justify why you know of course dude look I get that some people have an affinity at a certain types of women and you know you seem to have like this thing for this red flag Latina chick with some TaylorMade tatas now good you've had your fun you know you've had your exercise you've seen what she's made of you know what the rest of your life is potentially going to look like if you deal with this chick and it's not absolutely fun you already know that that's why I wanted to talk to you and see what the hell you'd say about it and extrapolate because like me like me sitting here Chris for the last five minutes listening to you explain your interactions with this nightmare yeah just just gives me anxiety and pain right like when I travel with my chick I have none of these headaches none I know it's good I have a good time we laugh that's how it was initially officially good everything's happening it's jiving always and not just you know for the first six months for a long time after that I look man I mean you can invite a chick like this in your life and make her a girlfriend you can make her a wife if you make her the mother of your kids if you want but your life suck you know what's funny the [ __ ] tells me you're the only guy ever thought about having kids with I laughed and you know what the reason why I called in never said that to anybody else before the reason why I called in is to enhance your red flags because nothing I went back and read them nothing hit me harder than after a weekend with this chick and I read the daddy issues and you said she can be BPD a freak in the sheets and the lady in the streets and she can make it seem like she's you're finally appreciated you're great you know she cooks for you she takes care of you she's homey she understands me but that a drop of a hat the [ __ ] can flip from hot to cold and that's the reason why I'm talking to you because the most she's made of that that's what she is that's what she's making and so she's about the representative that you're seeing in the jacuzzi when you're having a good time when she's all Chris I love the way you handle restaurants and the way people respect you and all this all of that stuff that's a dog and pony show right that's that's the representative the real person that you deal with and I'm talking to all you guys watching this too the real person that you're dealing with is when there's conflict and when there's issues that come up in a relationship because that's the person you're going to be dealing with later on down the road the representative is going to go that you know that that crazy sex in the jacuzzi boom you can say goodbye to that real quick yeah because as soon as she's got her meat hooks in you and she's got access to your money and you know you're in the same house and you never I do that's it man it's over now it's nightmare at nightmare City well I told her no in the very beginning and I think that's what pissed her off because I do think that they tend to gravitate but yeah they gravitate it's what they to what's difficult and what they're having a hard time getting which is exactly she's chasing you and at the end of the day dude like these Latin chicks they want to be with a strong masculine virtuous leader you've tried to play that card and she can get [ __ ] testing you she keeps suggesting you over and over again it's cute it'll just end it's cute the one time where you have the banter back and forth or it goes on to the next thing and you have a little bit of banter back and forth but if you keep it happening over and over and over again she's basically telling you yo Chris this is going to be your life for the rest of your life I don't trust you that's what she's saying and I have abandonment issues and uh to the streets from when she came I just wanted to get your your intelligent opinions on it because I'm not exactly Let It Go my man my friend love you be safe take care brother send her back to the streets from when she came all right let's grab uh cyan here let's see what he's got for us I'm up cyan or Kian sorry yeah it's a Gaelic name Gaelic yeah yeah everybody everybody gets in like I I've been I've been getting like weird names for like the last 19 years it's kind of no problem okay so what do you got for me it says here uh mop said you dated a gal they broke up she racked up a notch count and she wants you back yeah so tell me so tell me what happened why did you guys break up first of all uh well so I you know I didn't know if it was a good idea to be with her because I was I wasn't getting a lot of you know attention in the relationship because she was always on the phone and it's just you know and then slimy it's let me to have a lot of bad relationships because Jeff from that one instance that I've I don't know I just didn't I wasn't feeling like I was having a lot of attention from her so I ended it and then uh I saw you know how long ago did you guys wake up how long would you guys break up uh it's been I think a year and a half since we've been together a year and a half okay so you're with her for a year and a half you broke up how long ago no I'm saying we we woke up a year and a half ago oh it's been a year and a half it's been that long and you're still thinking okay do you have a speech impediment are you hard of hearing or uh yeah I have the speech impediment yeah okay so I'm I'm autistic yeah yeah so okay so so you broke up with her a year and a half ago and then she's dated a bunch of guys and now she wants you back is that what's happening yeah how many guys did she date I think eight eight dudes and she volunteered this information to you yeah I I she she's told me that she's dating a lot of guys I've kind of from all my friends a lot of my friends have dated her and it's just hang on your friends dated her too yeah these are your friends yeah I can I can tell you people have been close to well my friend I mean I can tell you what you're made of if your friends are behaving that way because birds of a feather do flock together right you've got some you've got some problems that you need to stare down in the mirror right these guys are not your friends and if you're allowing people like this in your circle then it says a lot about the people that you choose to allow in your inner circle so she's now contacted you back and she wants you back what does she say so at graduation after so I prom uh she asked me like do you want to get back together and I told her that I would think about it because you know she has a lot of and when and like her ex was like right next to her and I was like okay let me think about it so I've been thinking about it for like I don't know two weeks and I don't know how old are you my friend no I turned 20 in November how old is she 21 I think yeah 21. 21. and you know where from school I'm guessing yeah so you want to know if getting linking back up with a girl from a year and a half ago that slept with eight dudes some of them are your friends is a good idea not suffers dating no they never did anything they dated just dead so she's a virgin I think so yeah so you never slept with her no no no no no I no I'm not trying to do that until I find the right person and you think she's the right person I don't know man I I don't know I've been having you know as I said I've been having a lot of bad relationships so I just how do you know if she hasn't slept with any of these eight guys all of them have told me that they haven't but I I don't know maybe one of them is lying but I don't know so you had to go through the exercise of talking to all eight of these guys about what happened with them and this lady you dated with a year and a half ago yeah well you're not gonna like what I'm gonna have to dispense here for you my friend but I don't care I don't care you don't like one of the best here it comes yeah you need to you need to sit the man down in the mirror and have a serious conversation with him about life and where you're gonna go in life because the one thing that is preoccupying your mind right now is some chick that ran off on you and then spent time with eight of your friends and by the way none of my friends would do anything with my girl those are the kinds of friends that I have nobody they wouldn't touch her if we broke up and we were done they would not touch her they would not be interested because she was mine well I have well I have High Caliber friends but I set very high standards for myself and the people that I surround myself with so one of the reasons why you're dealing with this problem is because you're allowing low caliber people in your life I don't know if that's because you don't have a very high opinion of yourself or or where you're going or what you're doing but you're entirely preoccupied with this with this girl from a year and a half ago that that's one of the reasons why I've been tuning into you know like your watching your YouTube watching like Justin walk watching like how long how long did you date this woman for what was the total time that you guys were doing a month a month for a month yeah so you spent a month with her together then you broke up for a year and a half and she dated eight dudes do you think your priorities are a little bit upside down yes okay yeah I think I think it's obvious with the but look man like the first step in an alcoholic beating his drinking problem is recognizing he's an alcoholic so that's why I'm kind of starting from that point is you realize this is a problem that you're obsessed with this girl like you've got a case of oneitis and oneitis is like the simple definition is having an unhealthy attachment to one woman this is one woman that you dated a year and a half ago for a month like as a general rule if you're if you're with somebody you're intimate you commit to one another you love each other you spend a lot of time together let's say you're together for like two years it's entirely normal for you to think about that person probably for a couple years after you guys break up but you're with a chick for a month and haven't stopped thinking about her for a year and a half to the point where you're calling in on my show to ask me this question now yeah that's yeah yeah so that's a that's an obsession that you shouldn't be dealing with because my friend like you're 20 years old what do you want to be when you grow up uh what do you want to do with your life uh be a sports analyst be a sports analyst okay and what does a sports analyst do so like analyzing like uh do you think like do you watch sports like no being like oh okay yeah that makes sense that makes sense I don't like watching other people on a soccer pitch Chase Excellence I'd rather do it myself I wasn't talking about soccer but yeah okay football baseball anything but a sports analyst will watch games and then analyze the games is that what you're saying yeah yeah so what are you doing right now to get closer to that goal uh watching a lot of baseball okay watching around sports like okay but are you doing anything to get close to the goal of being a sports analyst like what are you doing in that Realm not as much as I should do you have a YouTube channel where you're breaking down games and the YouTube channel I just haven't babe I'm just having started making those videos have been a little bit you've been obsessed with this random stuff yeah but you've been obsessed no she's been like she was not in my mind and then she and then she asked me that that's how she got back in my mind she asked me okay you should be on like if you're following baseball let's say um and you're tuning the games you know the players stats and everything you should be on YouTube regularly streaming about the synopsis the breakdown what's going to happen like there's lots of guys that do this right now on different platforms talking about whatever it is that they're good at analyzing and people tune in to listen to hear the analysis um that's what I would be doing that's what I would be spending time on not thinking about Becky and whether or not she's going to be a good choice for me in the future because you're going to make the exact same mistakes that you made before if you don't level yourself up if you don't unplug from all this crap all these beliefs that you have that don't serve you because that's how you got to where you got to today right you can always take a look at somebody's results in life the relationships what they do for a living how they spend their free time you can always assess their belief system by looking at the results and what they're doing and the choices that they make now my friend you need to raise your standards for yourself you need to surround yourself with better friends you need to make yourself that guy that that gals want to be with and other men want to be you have work to do yeah that's why I've been mostly watching you and you know like Justin you you would you would want to like two of the oh like two of the biggest YouTubers I watch so well I appreciate you watching my stuff but I want you doing stuff too like I would rather you say hey man I've committed to a schedule of creating content twice a week on these dates after the games so I can break them down and even if you do a show and it's crickets and only your mom watches it or one of your friends watch it that's better than nobody but you might find in a month or two months or six months you have an audience of 50 people watching or 100 people or even more you might even build up 20 000 people essentially a stadium watching your stuff because you analyze it so well but you'll never know if you don't get there if you don't put in the time if you don't do the work yeah you get caught up on stuff that doesn't matter see that yeah and look dude again like I'll say it again life is short time will move very very quickly before you know it you'll be 30. and in no time you'll be 40 and 50. and then you're going to be like what happened to my life what did I do with it right yeah if you have plans and it sounds like you have a plan if you have plans and start then start executing it don't worry about Becky and and my friend certainly don't deal with women that get involved with your friends and don't get involved with friends that get involved with your ex-women there's two serious problems there from both angles yeah where do you live in the world uh Boston Boston okay well I hope that helps yeah uh thanks French standards yes strangers man it starts with that thanks okay buddy take care all right man let's let's hope it uh let's hope it does change his life uh check out the super chats here uh the only off turn into Kevin Samuels with these women but rich is very calm and knowledgeable thanks yeah I'm just look man I wanna I wanna take call-ins from everybody um and I guess sometimes a lot of the dudes that call and I think get pretty repetitive so I think uh you know doing doing it from that perspective opens up some of the dialogue and the conversations Meg here says guys is Mega guy or a gal okay Meg uh guys is a 15 age Gap noticeable like if the guy is 40 and the girl is 25 well if the guy's 40 the girl's 25 that's that can totally work that's no you know it's 15 years if she's not a kid and you know if she's serious about being a compliment to the dude's life and you know uh doing something with a guy but if she's in a party year still and she wants to run around and you know probably not gonna not gonna work out unless he's into that stuff too but uh usually somewhere between they say 7 to 15 years is totally fine it's when you get into like territory where it's like 20 25 30 35 years or if you're like um Al Pacino what is he like 86 and his girlfriend's like 28 she's pregnant um yeah not a big deal not a big deal I wouldn't sweat it and I think that is it's all right let me just pull him off and we'll say goodbye real quick buddy nope well that was interesting you sent me some uh a couple interesting ones yeah a couple of season callers yeah man dude um yeah any final words before we wrap up no it seems like we've had a pretty good streak of college over the last couple of weeks it's definitely a good mix do you guys want to get into the fold and you're trying to get call in DM me right here Instagram's the best place to reach me we'll we'll try to maybe fit you in and get you scheduled for a show yeah um yeah there's a lot of good stuff and uh looking forward to more yeah it's helpful to have Mothra in The Green Room make sure everybody's audio and videos set up and you know he'll line up people for the uh for the show in advance so if you got any questions about how to do it it's that's his IG there just hit him up and uh I'll definitely set you up thanks brother all right uh let's hit the outro reel and uh sign off I guess say say goodnight sayonara and all that good stuff we'll see you guys soon all right guys if you enjoyed that podcast make sure you visit my website at richcooper.ca to learn more about my courses my book The unplugged Alpha Community or booking me for private coaching also if you are a Canadian with fifteen thousand dollars or more of credit card debt and what you are doing right now isn't paying off the balances then visit totaldebtf Freedom dot CA and hit get a free quote to see if you qualify to settle your credit card debt for less than you owe today over the next 48 months make sure you check out the top pin comment on YouTube for all the links mentioned during the show peace

Channel: The Unplugged Alpha

Views: 51,847

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Id: vQ5LQBGA_0M

Length: 89min 36sec (5376 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 13 2023