Well, welcome to hearing guys voice podcast.
And I have an exciting working podcast today because I enjoyed watching for over a year. This
Christian counselor truly give her heart and soul to so many, and you're going to learn a lot
about it, but I'm not going to waste time in regards to trying to go through her resume. I
want you to meet a wonderful new podcast guests, which is Leslie Renick. Leslie, welcome to hearing
God's voice podcast. Thank you for being with us. Thanks for inviting me. That's
great. That's it. Give the audience a kind of a snapshot because you have a, you
haven't been doing this for just a couple of days, and this is not your first rodeo around
the, you know, the podcast information, but I want you to kind of give the audience just
a broad spectrum of stroke of where'd you come from how'd you get here and what are you doing
with all that you've learned in that journey? Wow. So try to say in a sentence or two came
from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was eight years old, I was the oldest and this was
when broken homes and single moms were very rare. So I felt a lot of shame around that. It was the
only kid whose parents were divorced and moved to the city of Chicago, lived in a one-bedroom
apartment. My mom was an alcoholic. She was also had some mental health problems. I would probably
say they thought at the time it was schizophrenia, I think really was bipolar. But the scary part
of it was she never had the depression part. She only had the Mac part, so it became
very psychotic at times and crazy. And so she was abusive to me and mostly me, I think
probably because I represented a lot of the values that my father had or even the
personality. And of course divorcing him. She didn't like him or me at that time. And
so she took a lot of her frustrations out on me. She was abusive physically, emotionally,
verbally, instead, a lot of hurtful things. And by the time I got to high school, I didn't
go to school very much because I figured out that if I could clean the house while she was at
work, then she would be happy when she came home and then I wouldn't get in trouble and I could
just walk the streets or do whatever I wanted. But my dad had become a Christian
and he had been petitioning the courts for years to get custody of
us because he saw what was going on. But back then dads rarely got custody of
their kids. And so he had fought for years, but this time he did when I was in high school.
And so finally we had to move into his house, which at that time I wasn't happy
about because my dad represented rules and church and school things that I
didn't want to do. I was in red on the streets of Chicago. I was having a good time and I had
figured out how to stay out of my mom's way most of the time. And I was getting as big as her.
So it was a little harder for her to hurt me, like she used to. So yeah, so I had to move
and God got ahold of our heart. My heart, when I was in high school, my mom sort
of left the scene. She didn't have a lot to do with this. After that, she moved to
Florida. We have a lot of contact with her and then she came back and
she came into my life again. And, you know, even though she had been out of
my life a little bit, her voice was still in my head and her voice of who I was still hurt, who
I felt I could be. And so this was a, this was a wrestling match because, you know, I accepted
the Lord and yet I still felt broken. And I, I think that's led me to my field. I
work with relationships. I work with broken relationships that work with
abusive relationships and they're not always fixable my mom's and my relationship
wasn't fixable until the very end of her life, because she wasn't willing to be a
safe person. And you can't have a good relationship when you're scared of someone,
whether they're your mother or your husband. And so it's really hard to do that, but so
that's led me to do a lot of work with around abuse. What does the Bible say about abuse? How
do we do relationships in a good way? How do we not shame someone when they can't
fix a relationship? Paul says as much as it depends on you be at peace with
everybody, but it doesn't just depend on you. It requires two people to make a
good relationship. Hmm. You know, I'm glad you put that quote in there too. Leslie,
because one of the comments of, one of the people that had made comments about you and your
about page was that you were true to scripture. And to me, that's, that's rich to my heart,
but you also go deeper than just the verse. And I, I really, I really respect
that so much because very few people, especially Christians that just grab a verse on
Sunday or they grab a verse from a devotional, they don't take it into the life application and
then putting a couple others that really apply as you have done in some of your teachers. I'm sure
you'll do now where Jesus kind of clears that up for even the disciples when he's going through
some relational difficulties at that point. But you were in a place very young at 16 years old, and you were
sitting in Chicago on a, on a stump, it said, and a stoop or wherever it was that, that you
were sitting at someone's house and God spoke to, would you unwrap that for us and show us how that
voice of God really began to, to formulate life? Yeah. It was a time that my mom was back and she
was not, well, she wasn't, whether I, you know, at 16, I didn't know what was wrong with her, but she
was behaving poorly. And she said some very ugly things about me, you know, as a worthless, almost
even counting remember exactly what she said, because God has done some healing in that,
but she said really ugly things and just threatened to kill me. And so I can't remember
exactly what it was if she slammed the door and I'm sitting on the stoop on the outside or
whatever. And I'm just sitting on that stoop and I'm just broken. I'm just broken. I mean,
how does a person deal with their own mothers, hatred of them and abuse of them.
And so I'm sitting on a stoop and I'm crying and I'm hearing the Lord say to
me, Leslie, that's not who you are. You are my beloved child. I've put gifts and talents
and abilities inside of you. You got to decide, who are you going to believe? Are you going
to believe the words of this broken woman? Or are you going to believe me? And that was a
real moment for me, where I woke up. So to speak in terms of truth, you know, when Jesus is the
truth will set you free. It's not just words on a page it's truth and who am I are very identity.
Doesn't get to Def be defined by a mere mortal. God has made us and he
defines us. And just because my mom devalued me and discarded me and threw me
away doesn't mean I was worthless. And recently we had this really fun illustration with
women's. I work with the women I work with. She got really mad at her husband and she had,
she was very wealthy and she had this big rock diamond ring and she took it off her finger
and she threw it down and she watched it. And just because she threw that ring
away, didn't make the ring worthless. The ring was a valuable ring, just in a
moment of craziness. She devalued it. And it just reminded me of that story of my mother
that, you know, because of her own issues, she devalued her children. And even at
the end of her life, she owned that, but she devalued, she didn't know how to value
us, but I didn't have to let that define me, her behaviors. And so that
was really healing as God spoke to me in that moment. One of the
scriptures that I love is out of Romans 12 two, which almost relates to what you were saying. You
know, he says no longer let the world conform you. And it doesn't matter if it's a mom, dad, and
sometimes those are the worst impressions could be the worst impressions that are in Boston.
That's just because of the relationship, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind. And I just tie that back to another scripture in first Corinthians two 16 that we
had the mind of Christ, but you did something, you know, it's not good enough to just know that
scripture it's you did something you made a choice to acknowledge and accept and believe what
he said. You preciously and wonderfully made something 39 says that was pretty mature
for a 16 year old or however old you were. Was there some training with them, their
coaching? Was there anything that you had to really identify and be able to hear God's voice
and then to be obedient to it and to accept it? Not really. I mean, when I became a Christian,
I went to a normal church. Wasn't anything that trained us to do anything supernatural. It
wasn't a charismatic church, any of that leaning. So, you know, I've had a couple
of those moments in my life where I just knew it was the voice of God. It was so
different than what I would've thought is it. Sometimes we say, Oh, that does best
meet me my own self-talk this was so different than my own self-talk because my
own self talk was negative. And, you know, just like my mothers talk to me. So this was so
different that it really like it was, you know, it wasn't a bright light, but it was just such
a strong voice in my spirit that it wasn't mine. And, and that was a comfort to me that I could
rely on God and who he was and who he said I was. And that he was there with me even
in that dark moment and that I could trust him. And that has been, you know, a defining thing for my life is that when God says it, I
believe it. And it's sometimes it doesn't feel it, but the feelings are damaged and those have
to heal and you have to work through that. But to really start living that truth is part of
what we were supposed to do in repentance is turn around and start walking the truth. Okay. We do a
workshop as he called the are beautiful and it's majorly women that are taking their course.
And we have a little exercise that we do. We talk a lot about the false images, the
false beliefs, which are those thoughts that we need to take captive, but it's hard.
It's, I mean, you're so crippled at times, especially if you haven't believed a lot
of those lived them and become one with them. And we take a mirror and we make them
break the mirror as they're looking to it. And on the other side of
the mirror is a new mirror. And that represents now, as we begin to give
them confirmations, declarations affirmations from the scriptures of who they really are
in Christ Jesus in the image and likeness, that that episode that you had. And I got to
tell you, even before the show I showed you, that was, that was impressive to me
when I heard different interviews. And you use that illustration of, you know,
going through that process because it began the staircase. It seems of your whole career
way back at 16 years old before, you know, being a Christian psychologist or anything else,
it created your ability to take a life experience and let God really transform it. And now you've
taken it into the world of helping people. And I don't think there's any better calling
to what Christ says, go make disciples of all nations. You're doing that. I mean, with, with
a beautiful, beautiful work of it. And then you go forward in your life and you started
writing books and things you told me that you had heard God's voice kind of direct you in that
direction. Give us that story if you don't mind. Yeah. So after you know that moment and, you know, continued going to school and went back to
school and did school and went to college. I never thought I would go to college because
like I said, I barely went to eighth grade, but I did finish high school. I went to
college and, you know, I felt like I wanted to, I didn't like math or science. So I
knew I wanted to help people. I didn't know exactly what I was going
to do. I thought maybe I'd be a teacher, you know, social worker. So I
decided to go for college. And then I mastered in a social work and I decided I'm
not going to get my PhD because I can't write. That was a limiting belief I had,
but it was a belief I believed. And so I didn't know as a unbelief, I just
believe it just like, we all believe a lot of lies. I can't write well enough to get a PhD.
So didn't pipe finished my graduate school. Did you know, counseling work and you
know, my normal stuff never wrote. I mean, after I was done with school, I was glad I
never wrote again. Well, here I am. 40 years old, two kids at home, I'm just counselor. I
have a counseling practice, you know, not a name anywhere. I'm just doing my job. And I turned
40 and God said to me, and this is another one. Like, there's so different out of my wheelhouse
because it wasn't anything I aspire to. He said, Leslie, I want you to write a book. And I'm like,
who me? And then this is a really funny story. So I went to church that Sunday, I told my husband,
I said, I think God's calling me to write a book. Can you imagine? I don't know how I even have
it right anymore. And I'm sitting in church and I didn't, I didn't attend a charismatic
church. I attended evangelical free church. My pastor is talking about in first Corinthians
the gifts, you know? And he said, I don't know why I'm saying this, but the Lord's leading me to
say someone who is supposed to be writing a book. That's a weird thing for both
of us, because it was like, we, I tell you the truth about
500 people. And he said, somebody you're supposed to be writing a book. And
that was so unusual for him to say that. And then someone from church came up to me and she said,
is that you? And I thought, this is very weird. And I think God needed to confirm it to me three
times to make me really take heart. And this is what I did. I believed him, but I didn't know
what to do. And so the first step, so I'm 41st step is I said, I don't even remember
punctuation and grammar. I never got a big a on my paper. You should be a
writer someday from any of my teachers. And it was a total walk of faith that
I didn't have any self-confidence. I didn't have any confidence in my abilities.
All I had was confidence that God said he wanted me to do it. So he would equip
me. But then I had to equip myself to, I had to walk it out. I had a fan into
flames, the gifts that God has given me. So I said, Lord, you have to give me
the gift of tongues and writing. And so I went to community college and I just took a
writing one Oh one class and started the journey. My book didn't come out for eight years.
So it was eight years of believing God and letting him prepare me both in my spirit and
my skills to be able to write my first book, What a beautiful story. You know, the
confirmation of God's voice is so neat because he'll get us a message. Even if we get a hard
and hard at times and say, no, I can't do that. Or I'm unable. And it's always interesting that he
always asks us to do something that is impossible, or it isn't the natural simply because he gets
all the glory and gets all the recognition to us. So eight years. And, and again,
that you think about Joseph, you think about Abraham, everybody, who's
gone through those long windows of time, waiting for David, you know, all the years
to become King, but you held in there, but you also said something else that
I want the audience to hear, because a lot of people may hear God's voice or they get an
impression that they're supposed to do something, but then they sit on their hands and they don't
make the steps. And I remember a mother Theresa made a quote, had a quote that said,
I do everything. We get depends on me, but I believe with all my heart and all my
mind that it depends on God. That's a, that's a partnership. And you've talked about partnerships
in regards to helping get through relationships. Tell us about either a marriage or
any kind of relationship that people have that are difficult, which is your specialty, listening to that voice. And in partnering
with that voice to be able to get through the tough times that you'd must deal with on
a daily day basis with Christian counseling. Do you know, I work with a lot of women, mostly
women who are married and destructive marriages. So it's not a difficult marriage. It's not just
a disappointing marriage. It's a destructive, abusive marriage. And so for so long. And so I
know what that feels like. Not in a marriage, I have a good husband, but for living
as a child in that kind of environment, my mother was very destructive.
She was abusive to my dad, to me, and it it's traumatic and it takes
its toll on kids and it takes its toll on our spirit. I'm reading through Proverbs.
You know, we tend to take the day of the month and read through Proverbs and
just reminded again of how, you know, Proverbs says it's better to live on the corner of
a rooftop than with an angry contentious person. It takes its toll on your physical body. So, so, so often. And so for so long, the
church has valued the sanctity of marriage and neglected the safety and the sanity of the
people in it. And so I've kind of reversed that and said, God loves marriage. He's created
it, but he hasn't created it to be a prison for one person to abuse another for the
oppressor to oppress oppress the oppressed. God hates that. And so to really help a woman
believe what God says, that you're not just an object to use, to stay married to a man who abuses
and to really see her value and her worth and that her dignity and that being a strong woman,
isn't being a bad woman. God says, for example, improper, she was clothed with strength and
dignity and she smiled at the future unafraid. And so really helping a woman begin to see
themselves differently than perhaps they'd been told. They are either through their church
teaching or through their husband's voice. And oftentimes these women have
also come up in families that repeat the same generational sins over
and over again, and really helping them listen that God cares about their safety.
That safety is an important value for God. It's not just stay married at all
costs, but if you're not safe, just like when God values us to listen to the authorities
in the government. And yet when baby Jesus was going to be killed by Herod God, didn't say,
well, just trust me. He said, get out of there, go, go flee. And you know, when Moses was going
to be all the babies were going to be killed, the midwives didn't honor the Pharaoh's orders.
He, they resisted it. And I think we have to begin to help Christian women or men who are being
abused, understand that suffering and sacrifice. Although our great virtues for Christians
should not be used to enable scent to flourish. And you know, that brings us back to the
scriptures again and hearing God's voice, being responsible for ourselves to be safe
is really a in re in process that takes us to really study the scriptures because let's say
that somebody said, honor, your husband. And I've heard this. I mean, it, it gives me quivers
when I hear it, you know, at any cost, you know, just honor him or respect him. And he's a jerk
he's really abusive and all that type of thing, which is a lot of what you work with, but to
be able to take them and continue to seek God for that answer for their own
individual case, not that just jump out of the marriage or whatever it
is, and not just to take the abuse, it's takes that personal responsibility to
do what you did back on the stoop in Chicago, to hear his voice and believe it and continue
to listen to it and follow what you're learning. And it's a, it's a progressive development
for all of us is that you continue to go deeper and deeper. If you keep listening and
listening and coming more intimate with him, just like a great marriage. You
know, I love songs of Solomon, right? My wife and I, when we first got
married, we would read that to each other, like the play, you know, the, the lover and the
beloved. And it is like provocative. I mean, it's in the Bible, but it's
provocative. So in tyranny, you know, you need both parties working
with the process of knowing their personal relationship with Christ because, you know, I
have a beautiful wife, 42 years of marriage, and she's precious and wonderful. And I love
her. We, we are Italian. So we have very heated, you know, spiritual discussions at times. But in
turn, we'll go into our personal pretend the next morning. And the first thing that comes up in my
journal is Lord, how am I doing with Zena? And he begins to download minister to me taking
the scriptures so that I see what I'm doing, possibly incorrect, what I could do
better or what I have to listen to it. And this is one thing that I know I've heard you
say being there is the most important part when you're in a relationship, correct. You've said
that before in many of your interviews. And it's interesting because my wife's only desired me
only desire is when I'm with her having coffee, I'm here with her, no place else. And
that's sometimes more difficult than it is, especially for somebody who's active and
busy and that type of thing. But that's my challenge. That's my challenge. And my continual
refinement at that point. But Yeah, but the fact that you value your wife's voice and she has
input into you and says, this is what I need, or this is what's important to me. And you honor,
that is part of the beauty of a good relationship. The problem, and the people I work with is that
they don't have that respect in. And it's hard, even in Proverbs, it says, don't honor
a fool. So when your husband's acting foolish and destructive, it's telling you
not to do that and not just for your safety, but when we do that, we actually allow the
fool to stay diluted that their behavior isn't that bad. And that's not good for them.
Yes. What a perfect word of that is when you go back to what, what you've learned in your
counseling, in that very area. Because again, you know, and I've married a lot of people at the
alter and I have meetings with them before we get, you know, give them the marriage vows. And I
asked them why they love each other at that moment. And we didn't write it down. I said,
because I want at least on your anniversary, if nothing else, if not more open that up and
remind yourself of Philippians four eight, think upon these, the good
things that are pleasing perfect, because life goes on it's, life's got some curves
in it, but so often then you get to these areas that that's forgotten and they walk away from that
and they forget how much they love that person and why they love that person. And they begin to
almost hate that, which they loved at one time. Do you find that to be a problem in relationships
of marriage or any other type of relationship? And, and I, you know, as long as both people
are relatively healthy and willing to talk that through, I could say that that might be
somewhat of a difficult marriage sometimes, or a disappointing like, Oh, I
love that they were so friendly and so helpful to everybody. And now I hate it
because he's never home kind of thing. How do we, you know, talk about that and work it through. So
when we're talking about destructive marriages, we're talking much more about control devaluing
someone's personhood. So that those kind of even conversations don't happen. You're not allowed
to give your husband feedback on, you know, Hey, you know, I love that. You're so kind to everyone,
except for I'm feeling a little neglected. And he would hear that. So in, in our situations,
you're not even allowed to say something like that without getting a verbal tongue lashing or being
told you're, you know, an unruly unsubmit of wife. And so then you start to lose your perspective and
it must be me and what, what am I doing wrong? And it's, it's really kind of crazy-making in
the situations that I'm more working with. But I think that, yeah, every marriage,
you have a wake-up call and you have to learn to love the person. I remember
in a marriage counseling setting, I was working with this couple and she said,
well, you're not the man I'm married. And he goes, I absolutely am the married man
who married, but man, you dated, he was a fake. We always put our best foot
forward in our dating. Right. And he said, I just did these things because you
wanted me to, but I didn't realize it. That was on the disclaimer on the, on the wedding.
Let me, let me take the audience into your practice of life. You had inner
healing, you had true inner healing, go through what you went through. Can
you give the audience, at least the, you know, some points of how do they
deal with inner healing? How do they go after inner healing that can help them on
a day-to-day basis? They need counseling. They should definitely give you a call. We're
going to have all the contact information for you. And I just pray that everybody that
needs it will truly reach out to you. But in turn, is there anything that you can share
for inner healing when someone's been hurt or they're in the midst of this kind of situation and
it's not resolving quickly for whatever reason? Well, I think there's two parts
of inner healing. And one is, is that you have to identify the lies that
you're believing because you know, you CA your, your lies create your reality. I have a
very funny video on my Instagram. Recently, I went hiking and you know, so I live
in Arizona. There's beautiful hiking. And my friend said, Oh, check the bathroom
because we go hike and you don't want to have to go when you're out there.
So I said, Oh, it's locked. It had a big old padlock on there. And I looked at it and said, it's
locked. And so she goes up and she goes, you know what? I don't know that it's really
locked. And she opens the door isn't but my belief it's locked, created my reality that I never
even tried to see if the door was open. Right. And it really was a very powerful story about
our beliefs, our beliefs determine what action steps we take. I didn't take the action
step to even try because my belief was, the door was locked. And so part of understanding
that when God says he wants us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, because
we have to start understanding our false beliefs. The things that we think are sort of true,
like I can't write, or the door is locked or know, nobody loves me here. I'm no
good at that. Or, you know, I'm just, I'm a weak person that may not be true at
all. But because you believe that that's your reality and that's the options
you have because the doors locked. And so this is really important. Part of inner
healing, as God is always giving us information of truth, but we have filters
and we don't, the door was open. I just didn't even try it. And so it's really
important that we begin to allow other people like that. Woman who said the door is
open and she opened it and she showed me, God shows us his word shows us. Your pastor shows
you, but sometimes you just don't believe it until you take a step of faith. And sometimes
it's those action steps. So when God was with me in that stoop, or even in that
moment of, I want you to write a book, I could have just heard that and said, okay, God, well, tell me what book do you want me
to write? But he didn't tell me what book he wanted me to write for eight years. But what he
said is prepare yourself to be ready. You know, like, like Joshua had to go around Jericho. He
had to do what the work was of walking in faith. And sometimes we don't know what
the outcome of that will be. I never knew if it was actually going to be
a book for me or a journal. I didn't know what it was going to be. I just said, I'm
going to walk by faith and take the next right step. We use that a
lot in our work with women, because if they decide to call the police on
their husband, that's the next right step. They don't know what the outcome is. Sounds
really scary. He might lose his job. Maybe their church we've had women who their
churches have been excommunicating them because they called the police on
an abusive husband, because this is a secular authority. You shouldn't
call the authorities on that. I'm like call the police. That's what God put
them there for. If you're in danger, call the police. But it becomes scary
when you do the next right thing and you don't know what's going to happen.
We'd like to know. And so this is the part of trusting God and moving forward in truth, in
what God says to do, even though you don't know, or it doesn't feel right. I love the
story in judges, chapter six at Gideon. Remember when he said, Gideon, this
is who you are. This is your identity. You are a mighty warrior. And Gideon says, who me? I'm not a mighty warrior. I'm just like this
little farmer from the tribe of Benjamin. I'm not that. And God said, yes, you are no go
act like one, go in the strength that you have. And so Gideon started doing some little
warrior things. Like he cut down his father's idle poles in the backyard, in the middle of the
night. So no one would know it was him. I mean, he didn't do it perfectly. He didn't do it
like a warrior. He did it like a scared little man, but he did it. He walked
in faith and as he did it, and as he began to take those steps,
Gideon became what God said. He was. Wow. I can tell him when I truly ask you to
come back often, because you have so much to add to the, the program there, there's
a, there's an, I love that next step, because I want to touch base about something
that you talked about in goal setting, but brushing your teeth. We'll come back to
that for just a minute. Okay. But the next step James says that we look in the mirror and we see
ourselves the true self, the self that God sees us. And we really get excited about it. Whether
it's from a sermon, whether it's from hearing a counseling with you, they would walk out and
we've really been transformed by that vision. But transformation is something that is, has to
be constant, but that first then goes and says, but you immediately forget what you saw. Do you
see that when you work with marriages, that, that in relationships, that, that
old nature, that old character, that all false lies come rising back up,
do you see that commonly or individuals? And it, it had happens to me that wasn't the only
first that wasn't the first time that I thought a door was locked, but it wasn't. And it was so
funny. So I didn't tell the rest of the story. So I was with a group of women who
had already heard the first story a couple of years ago when I almost peed my pants, because I couldn't get into something because I
thought it was locking. It really wasn't. So this is what my friend said. When I came back, he said,
Oh, no, the door is locked. She goes, I think I've heard that before from you. I'm going to go check
it out. And that's what she, and it was like, Oh my gosh. And so that's why it's so important
that we live in community. Hebrews tells us, let us encourage one another day after
day list. Any one of us become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin and
sin. Doesn't have to be like, Ooh, you know, I I've committed adultery. Sin can
just be unbelief. Sin can be small little things. And so we, so my friend helped me in that moment
to say, wait a minute, you believed this before. And you thought the door was locked.
And it's a silly example. But you know, when we have friends who say, you know, you've
been in this journey before and you, you know, where, what happened? How did you slide back down
to that place where you're not worth anything, or you don't have any abilities
or, you know, you can't do it. You can do this. You've done hard things
before, and we need one another for that kind of support and encouragement to
remind us of who we really are. Just like, we need mirrors. We need to look in the mirror
every day. Because when I don't know about you, but when I wake up, I don't look like
this. So I look in the mirror and say, yep, you got to fix your hair.
You got to go in the shower, you got to get some makeup on. And we
make those corrections every single day to our physical body. Why wouldn't we
have to do that spiritually as well? Oh, so true. You know, we just got done doing a
retreat for all our audience. It was a, it was a full-blown retreat to really go and create
the highest priority in your life and goals. And we melted it down to one and that was
to become Christlike and do God's will. But in turn, I gave a statistic that I know
that you've shared on some other broadcast is a, they want to tap into that by mid January and mid
February, 80 to 89% of all new year's resolutions with good intent, with good, you know, feelings
that have probably been repeated a thousand times already are failed already. In fact, one of the
apps called on their calendar. I'm a cyclist. So I, you know, get this app that carries
my measurements and everything I'm doing. And it says that January 19th is the
quitter's day. They have that on that because that's statistically from
Harvard's research and everything else is the failure day that these
intents fail. But you shared the most amazing. And I've been teaching goal
setting biblically based for a lot of years. I've never heard the way that you taught about
adding to your toothbrush every morning habit. Another habit. Can you share that? Cause
that's, that's so rich. I think that that'd be really worthwhile listening to, So you learn
a new habit by linking it to a current habit. So I habitually brushed my teeth. I
would never forget to brush my teeth twice a day, at least twice a day,
once in the morning and once at night, but I wasn't exercising. And so again, we
always think, Oh, new year's resolution, I'm an exercise. And so, you know, I mean, I
like to hike and I like to play pickleball, but I wasn't doing any strength training or any
like that kind of stuff. I was just too busy. So I decided last year that I would link
a habit to my toothbrushing routine. So every morning when I brush my teeth, I
do 50 squats while I'm crushing my brush for two minutes, I can do 50 squats in two
minutes. That's all I do. And then at night I do 50 lunges on each leg while I'm
brushing my teeth. And I've done that for, I would say 365 days last year. And I
took a fitness test on my lower body. And I, for my age, I am way up in the, you
know, pretty fit. So this year I decided that I'm going to add. So for January, I started
a new habit. So after I brushed my teeth every day I do one man's I call a man's pushup. I could only do one January 1st. That was
the only thing I could do is just one. And I could only get a little bit down. Well, now it's January 27th and I have to do 27 of
them today. Now I can't do all 27 in a row, but I still do 27 throughout the day. So
after I brush my teeth in the morning, before I brush my teeth at night and after
I ate lunch, because I always eat lunch, I'm my pushups because I'm linking
it to another habit so that I can keep my upper body. So I still do
my teeth brushing exercise. I do my, you know, and it doesn't take any more time
really, but now I'm getting this exercise done that I never was able to find the time to go to
the gym and do all that. Now I'm getting it done. And it's neat that you just linking
it to something that is a visually a habit already in your system, which is really,
I think it's a key to a lot of the issues. We actually, in our, your beautiful workshop have
created cards that go on your mirror. They, they kind of stick to the mirror and
their affirmation. So while you're, I'm going to use this one, as you're brushing
your teeth, you're speaking out, hopefully when you get the brush out of your mouth, I am
precious. I'm wonderfully made. I'm beautiful. Went through all the scripture declarations of
a beautiful woman. And it's interesting because if you do what you just said, if you use it
into not a new discipline or a new habit, because that makes it hard, it mentally,
it just seems harder. But the reality is you connect it. And I, I just can't tell
you from Steve Covey to Michael Hyatt, to any of the people that I've worked with,
I've never heard them put that connection together. So Bravo, what the spirit
has touched you in that area. And yeah. Thank you. And I would encourage you also
to say those things, those affirmations out loud. I read a book. I can't remember where
it was from years and years and years ago on psychology. And they did this exercise
and I've done this with women's retreats, and you might want to try it with your audience
when your live audience or your groups, when a woman, that's why I bring a woman up. And
I say, okay, I want you to put your hand out and let me push it down. So I would always pick a
younger woman so that they could hold it up and I wouldn't be able to push your arm down. And
then I say, okay, now I want you to stand here. And I want you to say out loud, 10 times I am a weak and worthless person.
And they'd say, I don't feel that way. I said, just say it. And they would say it often times
and I'd put their arm on and it would just go right down. And then I'd say, say it 10 times
out loud. I am a strong and worthwhile person. And sometimes people would start to sob. And
it was really interesting because when they say I'm a weekend warrior with this person, they
need to start really strong. Like I am a weekend worth of, and by the time 10 times came around,
it would be like their body posture was different. They would be saying, I am a
weak and worth this person. And then we would do the other opposite. I'm a
strong and worthwhile person and they'd start like, I am a strong and by the 10th time,
their voice tone their posture. There was out there and I could not push it down. And
just having all the audience, see that happen, that transformation in that small period
of time, just through words out loud, affecting your body. It was amazing.
That's amazing that that really, in fact, I think they do some testing on that, even for
telling the truth or telling a lie in the legal, you know, examination is another method that works
too, that kind of Romans 10 that says faith comes from hearing. I have them do that confession
in a recorder and then play it through the day. And I tell them, you know, go to the bathroom, stall and play it out or wherever you're going
to go to get, just get quiet and listen to your, speak to you what the scripture has put through
you in your prayer time or your journaling time. And it's just amazing because I think that
there's so much starvation for encouragement, for, you know, right, right. Truths about individuals
that, and so many people are broken and crushed and it's really refreshing, but it's like you
said, it's hard for them to come back and say I'm strong and courageous or whatever the term is
after they felt that that breaking. And I just, I think you're doing an incredible, incredible
job with all the methods that you're doing. Tell us about the books
that you're, you're, you've written since that first one, because I know
that wasn't the last one. Am I correct? Yeah. Every book became like a pregnancy. I'm like,
God, I'm too old. Now I know more pregnancies. Yeah. So I wrote, the first book was called the
truth principle. It was renamed how to live right. When your life goes wrong. And it was really, you know, somewhat of a story of my life,
of how to take these five elements of truth, T R U T H and walk them out. And so that that's
still available. And then I didn't, I thought, Oh God, here's the miracle. We did that. And
I had no aspirations to write a second book. And then I had a man sitting in my
office who was saying, you know, Leslie, I'm doing everything
that they tell me to do to be a godly man. I've got a promise keepers.
I've gone to this. If my wife still won't forgive me, she's bitter. She's resentful. How do I
stay married like this? I just can't do it. And so, you know, a lot of the marriage
books at that time were about, well, if you do this, then your wife will
be better. If you do this and your husband will come to his senses. And
I wanted to write a book that said, maybe that's not going to happen. So why should
you act right when your spouse acts wrong? Right. And so that book came out and then
I wrote a book on humility. And that was actually my least popular book because who
thinks they need humility, nobody. And so it took me, it didn't help me for anybody,
but I think it was one of my better books. And then I wrote a book on depression, which
I've had experience with and a book on happiness. And then I wrote the emotion destructive
relationship, because I wanted to talk about what I have learned as a Christian with my mom, that,
you know what, because the typical answers in the church are well, forgive and reconcile. Well, how
do you reconcile with someone you're still scared of? You would never leave your kids with, how do
you have a real relationship with someone who, who yells at you and calls you names and threatens
to kill you when it's darn scary? Like you can't. And so I'm like, I'm a Christian, I'm a Christian
counselor. I want to honor God. What do I have to invite my mother for Christmas? Do I
have to let her babysit my kids? Do I not have boundaries? And so I began digging deep
into the scriptures about all of that topic, because I didn't want to mislead people in my
counseling. And I had the problem myself. I didn't know what to do. So that book came out and
then I felt like I needed to take the next step with the emotionally destructive marriage.
And so that was my last book. And you know, my main ministry at night right now is dealing
with Christian women in destructive marriages, both educating and helping them heal
and grow and make good decisions for themselves and their children, as well
as teaching church leaders and pastors. And you, you had a couple of courses cause I've
signed up for a number of them that you've had you, do you have a course as well as it cause
you've done some webinars or classes that you've sent. So my entire ministry right now is online. I don't have a counseling practice
anymore. I do a lot of teaching online. I do a lot of free webinars. If someone signs up
on my email list, if they just go to my website, Leslie burnett.com, there's a little handout on
seven tips of how someone manipulate you and what you can do to avoid that. And then they'll get
a notice of when I do a lot of free training, I do a couple of four or five webinars a year.
I'm going to be doing one on February. I think 13th on for Christian teachings that keep
Christian women scared, stuck, and S and, and feeling crazy in their marriage. Like God hates
divorce. God doesn't hate all divorce. He hates some divorce. And so we need to help a woman
understand what kind of doors just got hate. And is there a place for a Christian woman to
say, God is okay with my divorce? And that's a red hot topic, but I think that's really
important. Or I just need to keep trying harder. And then he'll change. You know, Jesus
did everything he could do with Judas and Judas didn't change. And so
sometimes we don't change people. They change because they are submitting
themselves to God and God doesn't change people who don't ask for that. And so sometimes
we're putting hope in the wrong place because God can change people. Yes, he can, but he never
changes anybody. Who's not asking for it. Well, that's a, that's a really as your next
book, but you know, that change of know, wanting change, just getting, doing an
interview with one of our guests. And she just was incredible in that regards, that she just had
such a hunger for learning more about God learning that intimacy really being as bright. And I mean,
even just listening to her like you, the passion of want, I think is the, is the
flavor that the God most is drawn to. And Yeah. And you're in your one thing, you know, you just did this retreat. What's
my one thing. And if we think of Paul's writing, he would say the same thing.
One thing, one thing is God's will for you. Cause we all like what's God's will, for me,
one thing that you mature and live a godly life. That's your one thing. You're one thing. And
so when someone's squash not able to do that because it threatens their husbands eco,
they're not able to grow and live a Holy life. They're not able to learn and work.
That's hardwired into us to want to do that. And so when you're not allowed to
do that, or someone doesn't want to, they're called foolish in the
Bible, but they don't want to. I'm lazy, proud, evil. It's very difficult to grow
when you're in that environment. And so that's, that's the, that's the rub. If it's God's will for
you to thrive and grow and you're not allowed to, what are you doing? I know we're coming to
the, towards the end of our time together. And I do want to open the
invitation for the future. Especially try to help get more people to
hear about your, your next webinar advice that you give every day. And I know that as I
said, and I quoted that you are true to scripture. What advice? Both men and women, because you
know, like you said, they can go either way. What advice have top three pieces of advice
that you would share and leave with the audience that would help their life take that
next right? Step. As you've shared with us, One is you have to learn to
let go of the outcome. So, so when we think about people who took the
next right step, and I love the story of Ruth, because here she lost everything. Her husband,
she had no security. She's going back to Bethlehem with her cranky. Mother-in-law who's
not in good place. And so even before that, when Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi said, you
know, both of you go back to your own family. Ruth had a decision to make. And
so she made the next right choice. What she thought was, right?
Nope. I'm going with you, right? Nope. I'm going with you. That was
her. She didn't know what was going to happen. She didn't know if Naomi would say no, you're
not. She didn't know if Naomi would say, okay, she didn't know what would happen when she got
back. She just made the next right decision. She just didn't stay paralyzed in
grief and depression. She did something on her behalf. And I believe that when we make
a decision, even if it's a wrong decision, God gives us information. He tells us, I will
instruct you in the way that you should go. And so if we make a wrong decision that informs us
then to turn around and make a different decision. But at least we're moving. We're
not just getting stuck in life. So take the next right step. Don't worry about
the outcome. Learn from that next right. Step. What the next right step is when Ruth got into
Bethlehem, everybody's bellies were hungry and she said, Hey, I'm going to go out in
that field and glean some leftover wheat. That was her next right step. She didn't know it was bow as this field. She didn't
know what was going to happen next, but as it so happened, God was leaving the
backstory in there. And Ruth just took the next right step. So I think if we can come to trust our
heavenly father, that he is always in our story, but we have a part to play in our story. We can't
control all the characters. We can't control all the situations, but are we going to be the
hero, the victim or the villain in our story, we get to decide. And when we begin to
realize we have that choice, it empowers us to be the kind of person we want to be. Wow. That's beautiful. That is just beautiful.
Thank you. Thank you for that. And I'm going to link the Deuteronomy 30 verse 19 and 20 life
and death is before us choose life is advice. And you've just given this advice to us as well
in modern terms. And I appreciate you. We are going to have all of the information,
all the contact information of Leslie, please reach out. But here's something that's
most important for you as a listening audience is there was way, way beyond just the
normal compact. As I said in the beginning, this was going to be a working podcast, relisten
to this, slice it, as the scripture says, slice it down so that you can take it
bite sized pieces and make your notes, make this a working podcast for your life so that
you can find and search as Leslie shared with us the right next step for your life as
the, I thank you so much for being a part of hearing God's voice
podcast, you've added so much besides being beautiful and a beautiful
scenery behind you and the Arizona sun coming through the windows. I think that's
just a part of your beautiful framing. And I, I really do open the invitation anytime
to come back and join us and share some of the wisdom. God has continued to give you so
much. I really appreciate meeting you and being on your podcast. Listen, we'll be back
next week with another podcast interview to help you can become beautiful inside and out.
And by that process of hearing God's voice. And as we've learned today from Leslie's
experience, believe in it, believe in it. And then walking out that next step, have
a beautiful and precious, wonderful day.
