Trauma: Getting to the root of fear, shame & guilt | Novena Riojas | TEDxDeerParkWomen

[Music] thank you [Applause] so today I'd like to talk to you about trauma but first I'd like to highlight the resilience of the human body you see the moment you are conceived every organ in your body begins to develop in such a way that healing becomes inevitable for example do you know if you had a paper cut the platelets would form a clock to stop the blood from flowing while also performing a protective scab over that open wound if you broke a bone your bones would create new cells which would replicate and replicate until that broken bone was healed your organs serves as your primary detoxifying agents starting with the liver which converts toxins into waste which is then filtered throughout your body through your kidneys and if ever your organs fell short of detoxifying your skin would step in and continue to detoxify your body with skin conditions we know as rashes ultimately your inner detoxifying agents are far more Superior than any product you could purchase on any shelf and similarly your brain is wired and created in such a way that it will shift rewire and transform itself in order to work more efficiently in order to understand its environment and to protect you from any perceived harm or sudden changes no matter how old or young you are now shifting and rewiring thoughts there's a lot of research out there that says this is a good thing but when this comes to trauma when it comes to trauma shifting and rewiring your brain is pretty dangerous okay so how do we turn to the resilience in our bodies to deal with some of the most difficult times in our lives well let's go there for a moment let's imagine you are at the center of the most distressing experience ever and for some of you that that could be a divorce it could be relocation and job lately I've been saying think of covid right because I think we can all relate well what happens to us during these moments mentally is that our thoughts become highly emotional they become very personal they often become part of our own personal self-worth and it's not uncommon for your trauma to become your inner voice well while you're thinking on these Mo this moment um I'm pretty sure one of the most prevailing feelings that you can recall is fear of you don't want to think on it for fear that the thought might evoke unwanted feelings for other for others you may not want to think on it because it will take you down this Rabbit Hole of I shoulda I would I coulda or somehow you have contributed to your own demise well if you have experienced any of this my friend you have experienced some form of trauma you see fear shame and guilt is rooted in unresolved trauma and when left untreated not only does it damage the Pathways in your brain but it also creates other conditions such as high blood pressure hypertension anxiety obesity depression I mean the list can go on and on but what does this really mean this means that the most valuable tool you will have in your lifetime is your mind and when your mind is in harmony with the body and spirit it has the capacity to shift your entire life experience and you get to create that you know many years ago my father discovered that he was diabetic but he didn't tell anyone this man was six feet five 245 pounds he was military and he was a semi-pro boxer so it's pretty safe to say that he was trained to fight mentally and physically and there weren't many challenges that he was not up to confront so he took on this illness by managing his diet increasing his workout regimen reducing his carbs and reading as much information as he could however he had a profound and deep fear of the American Health Care system and he would not put any insulin in his body now although he did his best to take care of his health the fact of the matter is not having access to some of the most important information meant that he wasn't taking the best care of his health and ultimately the best care of his life needless to say his passing created a ripple effect of loss in my family I mean we grieved among each other I come from a pretty large family and we turned to one another throughout this process however we kept our laws confidential we turn to one another during this grief but we never shared our loss with anyone outside the family and it wasn't until the grief began to manifest itself outside the home and my brother's grades began to slip and my sister started having tantrums and I began to isolate and I'll never forget my mother said Novena I can't wait until you get out of this phase you're so shy and I would say yeah Mom I'm just so shy I don't like talking to people well fast forward here I am I talk to people for a living as a therapist and I'm standing on this platform talking to you all so I think it's safe to say there was a little bit of denial there but more importantly we were carrying this this Legacy of fear shame and guilt from my father's fear of doctors to withholding his diagnosis was a bit of Shame right to us the family uh not sharing our loss with anyone sort of suffering in silence um we carried that Legacy and we would eventually go to therapy which was phenomenal but what I learned in that process was our personal worldview was hindering our ability to heal right away so how do we shift from a legacy of trauma to a legacy of healing when the Legacy we have is all we know well I'd like to leave you with three powerful guiding principles and the first one starts with a mental shift you can shift your relationship with your Narrative of trauma by expanding it beyond your world view and in most cases you cannot do this alone and I'll give you an example at five years old my trauma narrative was quite simple it wasn't expansive it was very simple and it was I lost my dad by the time I was 12 my narrative would expand a bit and I understood that I lost my dad due to an illness that was hereditary and also due to fear and that part was hard to accept by the time I became a young adult my narrative would fully expand and I understood I lost my dad due to an illness that was hereditary but also I lost my dad because he followed something that my grandmother did we created our own home remedies and often my family created home remedies because we didn't always have access to Quality Medical Care and the other side of this was racially biased Medical Care was at an all-time high so my dad was one of thousands of men and women of color who had a high amount of fear for the Health Care system number two understand and acknowledge your roadblocks for me seeing my father as this powerful strong person in my home who made most of the decisions I saw him as Fearless and my road block was being able to see this Fearless man and also understand that he was paralyzed by so much fear number three your spiritual health is the Cornerstone to your healing Journey now this idea is rooted in understanding the intuitive wisdom of the body earlier I spoke about how our bodies Our self-healing organisms organisms that work around the clock to reconcile and restore itself to its original Health now we understand that and we take it a step further we understand the body's most primitive instincts lead us to a deeper sense of self that leads us to our spirit understanding your spirit allows you to see beyond what the eyes can see and that will lead you to understanding your fear your shame and your guilt with a spirit of compassion and in doing so it allows you to identify where your wounds are located as a matter of fact acknowledging your fear shame and guilt allows you to acknowledge the legacy of trauma that came before you and create a new Legacy for the generations that come after you in closing I'd like to ask you a question what is your fear do you know the difference between making a mistake and being a mistake is shame where is your shame wherever it is you are not alone and you get to heal for yourself and for the generations behind you let's start the healing process thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 3,678

Keywords: Body, English, Health, Mental health, TEDxTalks, [TEDxEID:52100]

Id: yNiPMikRsgE

Length: 10min 13sec (613 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 20 2022