[music playing] I don't know what I'm
going to say to him today. I don't know what to
expect, to be honest. I know it's going to be hard. And at the same time, I feel
really excited to see him. And I feel like that's
the wrong thing to say. I feel like it
makes me sound weak. But it's been really
hard, and I miss him. I miss having my best friend. And that was just
stripped from me. I had it for seven years,
and it was just gone one day. I don't want to cry when I get
there because I don't want-- I want to be strong. ] with all these paparazzi. They should shut the gate. Oh, god. I hate them. I hate them. Yeah. OK, just walk. And I'll go behind you. Tori! Tori! Tori! [music playing] Dean and I have been
married for seven years. We have four amazing
kids together. I thought our fairy
tale would last forever. And then in one moment,
everything changed. I know our marriage
is worth fighting for. We can survive. I'm Tori Spelling. And this is my
story, "True Tori." MAN: Call Stephan. DEAN: Where are we? Dean? MAN: Just kind of step up
and get an appointment. Where is everybody? Camera over there. Ugh. Sorry, you guys, for
you're about to hear. I want to preface it with
don't feel uncomfortable because I don't
feel uncomfortable telling the story. So don't feel sorry for me. [music playing] My whole life, I feel like
people kind of got it wrong. They had preconceived
notions about me. And I spent half of my life
having to kind of overcome that and feeling like I wanted
people to know the real me. You know, ever since growing up
as Aaron Spelling's daughter, "90210," it was always poor
little rich girl, nepotism, everything that was
hurtful and untrue. Everyone told the story
of my life except me. So that's why I
wanted to do this. Every tabloid, they
always got it wrong. Except one week,
they got it right. When the story of Dean having
an affair with a girl in Toronto came out in "US Weekly,"
that story was true. When this all happened,
I wasn't given the option of dealing with this privately. It was on the cover
of every magazine. Everyone told their version
of what I was going through. None of them have been true. They said Dean had gone into
treatment for sex addiction. They said that we were
getting a divorce. They said that we were
secretly back together and that we had taken
some exotic vacation. There's been every
story you could create, they've told except
the real story. So now, I want to
take that power back, and I want to tell everyone the
real story, what's happening with me and Dean,
my relationship, and tell them what's
really going on. I got a call from my
publicist on my cell, and she said, "I just want
to tell you something." There's a story that's
being shopped around. It's a girl, and she's
claiming that she had an affair with Dean in
Toronto when he was there. And I just wanted to
give you a heads up. We don't know what's
going to happen. We don't know if it's true. It is what it is. It's just a story
being shopped around. Dean was standing
right in front of me. I looked up at him,
and I said, "Great. Who did you [bleep] in
Toronto last weekend?" I was totally kidding. There wasn't an ounce of me
that thought it was real. I didn't think for a
second that it was true. My husband for seven years. Why should I have to
ask those questions? I trusted him. There is always someone looking
to get publicity in situations like this. And I thought that's
just what it was. And I thought it would go
away until a week later. I got a phone call from
my publicist again. This time, she said, "The
girl has come forward." She's put her name to the story. She's going on record. She's giving all the details
about her two day affair with your husband in Toronto. And it's going to come
out next week, Christmas. We were about to go to
school to see Liam and Stella in their holiday performance. I asked Dean to step outside so
I could talk to him in private. I wanted the truth. I didn't want to
make him defensive. I just wanted him to know that
I knew, to see what he said. My heart was pounding so fast-- it is right now-- that I could barely speak. He told me, "I don't know. There's nothing. There's nothing. Nothing happened. I don't know who
would be doing this. I don't know what
girl is doing this." Then, he was
looking at me, and I noticed that his right eyebrow
was shaking up and down. And I said, "Why is
your eyebrow shaking? Are you lying?" And he said, "No,
I have no idea. No, nothing." And I said, "I'd never seen
your eyebrow shake before, ever, in our whole relationship." Then, I said, "What would you
say if I said I knew her name?" He's like, "What's her name?" I said, "Her name is Emily." He said, "Yes, there
was a girl named Emily." And then he looked at me, and
he said, "She was at that bar. She came back to my hotel room
with me, but we just kissed. We didn't have sex." And I knew, in that moment,
that the worst had happened. And I said, "I
don't believe you. I don't believe you for a second
that nothing else happened." And I took a deep breath. So I went on to watch
my kids perform. I had a baby on each leg
holding them in my lap. My husband was
sitting next to me. He was videotaping. I can still remember
that moment. With all that going
on, I was so proud and devastated all
at the same time. And I knew that next
week, everyone around me, everyone in the world, would
suddenly know that this fairy tale wasn't true. And I said, "When we get
home, I need you to tell me every single detail. If you even want me to
entertain staying with you, I want to know everything." He started at the
very beginning, and he went through the entire
weekend, every single detail of their weekend. He told me everything. I just listened. I took it all in. I think I nodded. Made sure I didn't
show any emotion. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want him to know
how much my heart was broken. The next day, Dean voluntarily
went into treatment. A few days later,
"US Weekly" came out. It was the cover. Everyone knew. We spent Christmas alone. Dean was in treatment. And he's been there ever since. I did the only thing
that I felt I could do, and that was to go
on and be a mom. Oh my god, there's
no paper towels. Oh my god, there's
no paper towels. Can you please go
get the cereal? Please, you guys. What? Stella, will you
look in the pantry and see if there's
any more paper towels? I have four children. I didn't want this to
define me, to define them. I wanted their lives to
stay as normal as possible. OK, we need to change. No, why are we doing
that right now? We don't have time for that. FINN: Mommy? Yes? Just wait, baby. I pushed it all deep down,
let him deal with his demons. And I went on to take care of
my children the best I knew how. Are you OK? Yes. What was it? Do me a favor, and go in the
bathroom, and get a toilet-- and get a fresh
toilet paper roll. I know that Dean is the father
of my four beautiful children. I know. We are out of paper towels. I know that he's my soul mate. I know that he's
the love of my life. And I also know that
he broke my heart. I don't know if I'll ever
be able to trust him again. But I've made the decision
that I want to start dealing with our relationship. So in a couple of days,
I'm going to go see him. Do you want to run
upstairs and-- and grab a t-shirt, grab underwear? You have shorts
down here and socks. Will you start to put
your clothes on maybe while I'm fixing breakfast? I don't know where they are. In the basket, as always. Where's my phone? Where's my phone? Shoot. This is the hardest
time of the day for me is getting them ready. Wait, wait, Liam. No, oh my god. I didn't say go outside. I said go near the front
door with the car keys. I didn't say go to the
car with the car keys. This is the hardest time of
the day, getting them ready, dressed, fed, school. Dean and I had it down. We had four hands,
and we had a routine. And it wasn't easy,
but we worked together. And we did it. And now, I do it alone. And it's really-- I don't do a great job. But at least they're fed,
and they're alive every day. And so every day,
I'm just-- when I get past this moment in the
morning, I'm like, I made it. OK. Ready? Backpacks in the car. [music playing] Stella? STELLA: Yeah? You, I will pick up at 3:15. Liam, you have enrichment, OK? Yes, baby. What's wrong? What hurts? Your tummy? I'm sorry, Mama. You've been a really good girl. [vomits] Oh, [bleep]. Hattie? It's OK, buddy. OK, baby.
You're OK. You're OK, Mama. Liam, please. It's not about your
iPad, my friend. She's sick. Liam, it's not about your iPad. She's throwing up
all over the place. Please. It's about your sister. You threw up on the iPad. It's OK. The iPad, we don't care. My kid is sick. Please don't take
pictures of this. She just threw up everywhere. Thank you. Every day since the
story of Dean's affair broke, the paparazzi
have been following us. It-- OK, just wait
till we get home. I told them the baby was
sick, and he respected that. But some of them will
just keep shooting. They don't care what I say. OK, you guys, we're here. The last time I was
on time to school was back in December
before Dean left. I'm coming, baby. Your shoelaces, buggy. The headmaster of
our school, she's been a really good support. She's like, they're fine. You're doing a good job, Mommy. They're in one piece. You're doing a good job. We're just a little late. The kids, they know that
we're a little different. They know that we have
paparazzi that follow us. They know who paparazzi are. They know that we're on TV,
that we're in magazines. They don't know it
to be a bad thing. They don't ask anything
about our relationship. They think we're a family, and
Dad's just not here right now. And it's hard on them that way. I can tell every day that it's
really hard on Liam and Stella, especially Liam. What? This time of day, the two
little ones go down for a nap. I love this moment because it's
really hard in the morning. And I'm going,
going, going, going, and I'm doing the best I can. And I also hate this moment
because this is the time of day where I have a moment to myself
where I can think about stuff. And I think about how everything
is really bad in my life. And it makes me really sad. [music playing] (SINGING) How do
you feel so well? I am sinking down. I am sinking down. Call to the owl who hasn't
left who can't be heard. You don't have to help. You don't have to help. I have so much pent up
that I haven't dealt with. You might explode. As soon as you start to access
that, I'm going to combust. And who's going to
take care of my kids? Like, I can't do that. I have to just take
care of my kids. Everything is about them,
and that almost is giving you a way-- It's a distraction. --to deflect from
what's going on with Dean. So what's the balance? TORI: For sure. You got to-- you got to spend some time
with him and talk to him. Mehran has been my best
friend since he was 15, I was 16 years old. I call him my "gusband,"
my gay husband, and I watched him put everything
on hold to take care of me. I owe him so much. I've had no time
to process this. I feel like I know I'm
still in love with him. I know that. So that's something very good. That's solid. This is, ultimately,
the man that you love-- Yeah. --the father of your children. And if you want to make this
work, you need to deal with it. I'm seeing Dean in two days. I've now decided that I am
going to deal with this. Are you nervous
about seeing him? Yeah. I mean, I guess you
want to know, like, what I did to make you do this. I guess I want to
know what I did. Why-- why do you think
it's something you did? You're blaming
things on yourself. This is, like, really
weird to watch for me. He's done something
wrong to you. Why do you think that is
something you created? But isn't that what
any woman feels like? If something--
- I-- you shouldn't. This could be completely
his own issues. This might not work out. I think that's the thing you
have to kind of understand. Like, this might not have a
happy ending, and it might. And I think you need
to be open to that. I'm well aware this might
not have a happy ending. Totally separate from
me, there's a bee on you. Ah.
- I'm allergic. Can you turn around? Where? Ow. [bleep] no. Yeah. No. What are you doing? It was on you. MEHRAN: No, it wasn't. I swear on my
life, it was on you. Oh, you had to do
that moment, didn't you? And I haven't-- It was crawling up your back. --I haven't waxed my back. Did you notice? It was really unnerving. Don't touch me. [music playing] JESS: Hi, guys. KATE: Hi! - Hi.
- Hi, guys. Hi.
- Hey, how are you? Good.
How are you? My two friends, Jess and
Kate, they've been with me through the whole ride. I kind of like all of these. Kate is the one that
said they can be drapes. I didn't even think of that. They'd be super heavy. TORI: Kate is that
one friend I have that she literally tells me
exactly how it is, whether I want to hear it or not. Oh my god, just take
as many as you want. Kate is really angry at Dean. She only sees this one way. Dean's a piece of [bleep]. You shouldn't be with him. You're better off without him. I shouldn't have said that. Look at this one. This is pretty. No. I-- I like it. Jess was actually the
person who was with Dean and I when my publicist
called and said there is a girl shopping around
a story of spending the weekend with Dean. I feel like she's
closer to the situation just because she actually
witnessed my life coming undone, basically. Well, I don't want
to bend down, either. What-- what should we do? Just stand here? I don't know what to--
honestly, I'm panicked. I want to get that fabric on the
ground, but I can't bend over, or the paparazzi
will take a picture. Just leave it. Just leave it. Just leave it there. But no, we want
to take it with us, and we can't bend over. It breaks my heart to
see her go through this. It truly does because she really
is one of the nicest people in the world. And I don't want
her to be miserable. She needs to still, like, enjoy
her life, and have a life, and be happy, and I
don't know if she will. OK, tell me which way. Right. Let's just get the-- whatever we're getting
and get out of here. I'm happy to finish-- I just got a text from Dean. [bleep] that. No. What? What? TORI: Oh, god, you guys. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel like I'm,
like, shaking right now. Who's [bleep]? Who's [bleep]? Yeah. Was that the wrong
text to somebody else? Who's [bleep]? I don't know, but
I just got like-- my heart stopped for a second. Randomly, in the middle
of the fabric aisle, I get a text from Dean, and
it says I can't even look at [bleep] right now. Don't respond right now. What-- Wait. It's not a joke, right? Like, that's-- No, it's not a joke. I mean, I [bleep]. Wait.
Don't respond. What--
- Don't respond? You have to. Like, if you got that
text, I would be furious. Tori holds everything in. If my husband cheated on me,
I would be done in a second. It would be over. No ifs, ands, or buts. There's no excuse. Have you seen him yet? No, I was-- I was about to tell
you guys that I feel like I'm ready to go see him. I'm ready to start
dealing with this. Like, I can't-- But that right there is--
JESS: Exactly. --almost like a
collapse from that, like-- JESS: Right. That's a red flag. I mean, that text is like-- I would be panicked. And you're just telling
us now that you're going to go see him.
Like, we don't know-- Yeah, we don't know--
JESS: --where you are with this. --what-- what's
happening, what's going on. I was honestly
gonna tell you to be like, I'm ready to
finally deal with this. [phone ringing] That's probably a good
thing to do, though. Hello. Hey. I'm freaking out right now. You should be freaking out. Well, Jess and Kate are
getting me all riled up. I just got a text from
Dean saying I can't even look at [bleep] right now. In, like, 30 minutes. I have to go pick up the kids. What time will you be over? OK. Bye. He thinks you guys are freaks. He says that you're
spiraling me. I just thought I was
getting, like, a moment away, and then that happens. It takes me right back into it. [bleep] But I don't know anything yet. So but he's in a treatment
center 24 hours a day, every day. Like, I-- he can't-- he couldn't have sex with
someone if he wanted to. Like-- Yeah. --there physically is someone
with them all 24 hours a day. I'm not-- I'm not
trying to beat up on you. But you're too trusting. [music playing] TORI: Hold on. Hold on, Stella. Don't panic. OK, and go. Hi, how are you? I try to keep a normal
life for the kids. And then one of the
things that we do together and we've always done
together, we do nail art. Like, that's our thing. I want to distract
them from the fact that their dad's
obviously not here. That's the elephant in the room. Dad's gone. This one, this
one, and this one. And then that one? He likes to get rock and roll
pedicures because his dad wears polished toes, so he wears it. Oh, yeah?
TORI: Yeah. Cool. TORI: Cause you're
a cool dude, right? Yeah. Here I am trying to enjoy it. But in the back of my
head, all I can think about is this text with this girl. WOMAN: How old are you, Stella? Five. How old are you? 40. What? When is your birthday? The 16. WOMAN: You don't know
your mommy's birthday? Why didn't you tell me? No, I didn't-- remember, we celebrated
my 40th birthday? We all went to Mexico. Remember, Dad was
filming in Canada? He met us in Mexico. We went with Uncle Mehran. Does this all sound familiar? No, I don't remember anything. Who are you? You're kind of like Dad now. I don't know about that. He always says that
he doesn't know me. WOMAN: Is that when
you're being bad? No. He does it all the time. It's a running
joke in the family. Dean plays this game with here
when he's like, who are you? And she's like, Stella. And he's like, Stella who? And she'll be like,
Stella Doreen McDermott. He's like, how do I know you? She's like, I'm your daughter. And he's like, no. And when he does it, she smiles
instantly and starts beaming. It's, like, their thing. And he hasn't been
here to do it. And I was just trying to
take the place of Dean playing that game. Now, it's getting creepy. Sorry. Getting creepy like
he doesn't know me. He doesn't really
not know you. Like, he's making a joke. Crazy. [music playing] TORI: What I called you about
earlier in the fabric store. MEHRAN: It was nothing. I knew that no
matter what I said-- Wait. Tell me what the--
where the text came from and who it was to. It was to another
person in treatment. That's exactly
what I said it was. Why did he text it to you? Was it by accident? By accident. The message wasn't for you. And I said, OK, I
panicked when I saw it. Sorry, babe. My heart sunk when
I saw your text. I thought whatever I say,
she's not going to believe me. Let me see. Basically, he was
texting with someone else. Pretty much, it was innocent. But I'm on high alert. What's going on here? What-- what-- what are
you doing, cleaning up? Yeah. You are? By throwing them? Oh, no. MEHRAN: What? Ferris was H- U-
M- P- I- N- G her. Ferris, I didn't
know you had it in you. Oh, now, she's humping him. TORI: Oh my god. MEHRAN: So we're all together.
- Wait. MEHRAN: Come on.
- Wait. You're not concerned about this? No, I don't care. I just look over, and
she-- and he's humping her. MEHRAN: He or she? He. You guys, that is
not appropriate. There are children here. MEHRAN: Wait, you
guys are going-- you're going to call your dad. Come here. Finn, you want to talk to Dada? OK, you want to call Dad
and say good night, Dada? He's at his therapy, baby. MEHRAN: Let me take it. You don't-- OK, here's Dada. Hello? Hi, Dad. Hi, Daddy. I want you come to bed. TORI: OK, hold on. Let Finn have his moment,
baby, and then you'll talk, OK? Say I love you. Hello? Oh my God, wait. You got disconnected. Hold on. OK, Liam. Hey, Dad. He didn't answer yet. It got disconnected. Let it ring again, and wait
for him to pick up again. You got-- you want--
do you want more milk? No answer? Now, it went to message? Now, it's not picking up. [music playing] I don't know what I'm
going to say to him today. I don't know what to
expect, to be honest. I know it's going to be hard. And at the same time, I feel
really excited to see him. And I feel like that's
the wrong thing to say. I feel like it
makes me sound weak. But it's been really
hard, and I miss him. I miss having my best friend. ] with all these paparazzi. They should shut the gate. God. I hate them. I hate them. Yeah. OK, just block me. Tori!
Tori! Tori! Yeah. Wait. Can I-- hold on. It doesn't matter what he did. He's still my husband, and
I still want to look good. Don't judge me. [music playing] OK, let's go. Wait, they're right there. They're coming over the top. Hi. DEAN: Hey, baby. Hey. How are you doing? There is tons of paparazzi. So I had to come
around the back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had
to deal with that. No, I am feeling guilty
bringing them here. DEAN: No, don't. Yeah, there's
total transparency. I mean, I know he's been here
working really hard on himself, and I would love to hear
what you think of everything, where-- where he is presently, I guess. [music playing] My nickname. "Dino" wanted to be known as the
tough guy, intimidating, bully. It's funny. We-- we had a conversation. You were like, I've never
liked that nickname. And I was like, why? And she's like, it's just-- I don't know,
something about is just kind of like mover,
shaker, douchebag. And it had a real
profound effect on me because like, yeah, I was-- I was that guy. I-- I was "Dino." The good side is obviously
why I fell in love with him and why we started
a relationship. But I became attuned
to the other behavior. I started to see moments
pop up, probably like, what, two months in, four
months in to our relationship? Like, I felt-- what's the word-- bamboozled? I don't know, like-- I was really drinking a lot. --a bait and switch. And I-- I've lied my whole life. I-- I'm tired of
living like a liar. That's how I got out
of things for years. I-- I've-- I've hurt you so
bad, and I [bleep] on our life. And so you know, that's why
I'm dealing with my alcoholism, and my addiction, and my
depression, and mental health. Everything that is so important
to me is-- is on the line right now. And-- and if-- if I don't change
who I am from the inside out, then-- then, you know,
we're not gonna-- we're not going to make it. I'm not going to make it. Everything you're saying
right now sounds very familiar. Mm-hmm. So I want to believe,
and it could be true. But like, how-- I'm not in a place where
I can believe any of it. If we're going to get
through this together, I need you to be honest. I need you to tell
me when you're hurt. You need to-- you need to tell
me when you're furious at me. I'm angry for the
obvious reasons. I'm angry that-- I'm angry that
you cheated on me. Your voice got so small
when you were saying cheating. Because I'm scared. I cheated on you. I cheated on you. I lied to you. I cheated on you,
and I lied to you. I cheated on you. I cheated on you. I lied to you. I cheated on you,
and I lied to you. That was the one
thing that you always said would never happen. And that was my biggest
fear our whole relationship. I mean, the night it happened,
and I talked to you what, at seven-- no, six o'clock. Friday night, I talked to him. See, it's upsetting you. So now, I'm feeling
like I can't speak. No, no. But I'm saying, like, that
was the last communication I had with him that night.
- I have to sit in this, babe. I'm angry that I feel
like I had to doubt myself for so many years that I was
the one that was so crazy not to trust you when
eventually, I couldn't trust you. There's one thing that I-- I just want to say,
genuinely that I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you. Over the last
seven years together, I've tried to bring
about change in Dean. We discussed why he
would act a certain way, and it was old patterns. And he would always
say that he understood, and he would change. And he never changed. Like, I've been let down
over and over and over again. I'm not sure he can. I don't know if I believe it. We have to keep the door open. You can't have guests
with the door closed. You put our pictures up. DEAN: Yeah, I try to make
it just homey as possible. They miss you. I miss them so much. You have no idea. It's great to-- to be here and
be so intensive in the therapy, but I-- I miss you guys like crazy-- like crazy. What are your thoughts
about me coming home? Like, when? Coming home when? Soon. I just want-- I just want to-- I just want to see how you
feel about it because I know how hard it is for you and
how hard it is for the kids. And quite frankly, I'm
really ready to come home. I-- I-- I don't think I'm
comfortable with that yet. I feel like once I make that
decision, I can't go back. Like, I-- that's the
only thing I have-- DEAN: That totally makes-- --holding over you is
that you're not home, like-- --that totally makes
sense, but I want to-- I want to know, though,
that you're not just using those excuses because
what you really want is-- is you don't want me home at all. No, it's, like, the opposite. Like, I'm the type of person
that would just sweep this under the rug, and
you would come home. And we would just go right back. And I'd be like, I
hope he changes, shoot. Like, now, we're in it. Like, I-- I don't have the
tools to even challenge if you didn't change. Like, I-- I just feel like I
need to be heard before we even embark on that. I just haven't been heard yet. And I-- I want you
to be heard, babe. I haven't allowed
myself to be heard, OK? I can't go to that place yet. Can I hug you right now? No. It seems like you're--
you're holding back, too. You should just let it go. - I know.
- Let it go. Now. Why? What-- what would it feel
like if you just slapped me in the face right now? I don't want to slap you. What if I wanted you
to slap me in the face? Babe, that doesn't
do anything for me. Because you can't
access anger or-- It hurt so much, and-- no, please, please,
please, babe. That makes it so hard for me.
- I'm sorry. Sorry. Because when you do that, it
makes me just want to be like, OK, everything's fine.
We're fine. We're fine. And it's not fine. I'm just trying to be
comfort you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll shut my mouth. I'm sorry. I don't want to cry because
I feel like when I leave here, the paparazzi are going
to still be out there. [bleep] the paparazzi. Well, sorry, but I have
to go home and deal with it. Like, you don't--
you're safe here. You're protected. DEAN: Well, you-- I have to live my life.
I have to-- We can bring the car
in and shut the gate. They won't see you. I don't want them
to see me crying. I don't want-- I have to go pick
up Liam and Stella. OK, I'll walk you down. I'm conflicted because I
want him to come home, too, because it's really hard
taking care of four kids, and I would love the help. But I just feel like
we're not there yet. JESS: You haven't seen
it, or you saw it? TORI: I have to put
all four of them down. And they won't sleep
through the night. Honestly, you guys, this is a
picture from five years ago. And I was never
under 100 pounds. It's when I was sick. It's when I had the flu. Let me see the
inside, what it says. And wait, why--
why are they saying you're hospitalized, though? I have no idea. Rough complexion. Wait, let me see. Oh, no. That's so-- like,
I mean, come on. Like, really? That's a super bad picture. Well, right. Well, they just take a
million pictures of you. So they take the worst. They want to show the worst one. There's, like, peach
fuzz all over my face. That makes me feel really bad. I give up.
Take this home. I don't want the kids to see it. OK. Jess and Wolf, they're
two of our closest friends. So we do a lot of things
together as couples. I talked to one
of his therapists that does, like,
patterns, I guess. When I hear so much about what
a rough childhood Dean had, and how it's self-sabotage,
and self-hatred in doing all of this, I understand. But it makes me feel like then
I can't be angry about what he did because he has so much-- I mean, come on. Like, that's-- that's the
stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. No matter what, that's
not an excuse for what he did to you and your family. And then he said today
that he wants to come home. How do you feel about that? I don't feel like
that's a good idea. I don't know. I don't even know how you
go back to trusting someone after this. Well, it's sad that the
one person who's supposed to be your rock did that. So I don't know. I mean-- I don't know how you
handle it, honestly. I haven't seen you
take time for you. Yeah. But he's by himself healing. I feel like this
was all done to me, and then now, it's still-- And you're still
getting screwed, yeah. Hey, what are you up for? Can you come in here, please? What happened to your game? I turned it off. WOLF: Are you
supposed to be asleep? You're supposed to be asleep. I am not tired. I'll let you guys talk, and
I'll go hang out with them for a minute. I'll let you guys chitchat. Five minutes, Liam. Special occasion. JESS: Is he OK? It feels impossible. What, him coming
back or everything? Every-- like, it doesn't feel
like I'm left with any option. I mean, realistically, I didn't
plan on raising four kids alone, and then it scares me so
much that I'm like, well, then what am I gonna do, no
matter what, take him back just because of that? No, no. I will never forget
what you said to me when we were shopping. You said that you felt like
this was your-- you were just-- this was, like, your [bleep]
lifetime and next time would be better. And when you said that
to me, I was like-- like, how could
you even say that? That's just-- I
went and told Wolf. I was like, that was
really sad that you even said that because that's just-- I don't even
remember saying that. You did. I'll never forget you said
that because we were talking about the kids, too. And I said that
there's no reason-- like, if you are not happy, the
kids aren't going to be happy. [music playing] I don't even
remember I said that. When I met Dean, I
opened myself up in a way that I had never
emotionally done before. And I allowed myself
to feel things and to love someone
entirely with the promise that there is this future. I don't know what I did
to deserve all this. You didn't do anything. And that's what you
have to remember. You did absolutely nothing. And now, when I
think of that, I'm so scared that we won't
grow old together. That's my biggest fear. I don't want Liam to see me cry. I don't want him
to see me cry, OK? JESS: OK. My friends have all said
that I can't believe what's going on how calm you seem. When I say I haven't
processed this yet, I'm telling the truth. I completely haven't
processed this yet. And I know that
to even figure out what I want to do and need to
do that I have to deal with this and deal with Dean and
deal with what's happened. [music playing] Have you been angry? Have you had a chance
to be, like, mad? I can't forget
about what happened. Well, you know, it
could happen again. Could you be a single
mom with four kids? This is so scary. That's how far I had
gone down the rabbit hole. That was not something that
needed to be talked about. I don't know if that's enough. Maybe love doesn't always help. LIAM: Hi, Dada!
