- [Strider] Howdy! Let's unwind with a bit of good old nostalgia from PBS Kids shows. (PBS Theme music) (squirrel belching) PBS has been around for many years, and has generally been a pleasant place for some simple but quality kids' shows not incentivized by profit margins or shareholders. In fact, even Sesame Street was proud to call PBS home. But on this occasion, the episodes I found were... not so jolly. While most of the time, PBS is as wholesome as pumpernickel whole grain, these rarer, unspoken episodes were considerably more serious and dark. - ['Arry] You'll make very fine scrap indeed. Buffer him, Bert. - [Strider] One particular one was even banned for being unsuitable for children. So let's check out the Top 6 Darkest PBS Kids Episodes. Sit back, or lean forward and do something you enjoy in the background-- whatever suits you. Number six... Sesame Street - Goodbye Mr. Hooper. As I mentioned on "Darkest Kids Show Episodes", Sesame Street has covered a ton of topics ranging from simple sharing to more serious subjects like divorce or incarceration. But perhaps the most serious, difficult subject they've covered is outright death. While subjects like mental disorders and family going to jail can be hard concepts to explain to children, the concept of mortality is one that's hard enough for many ADULTS to come to terms with, yet alone trying to explain the subject to children. We start the episode seeing Big Bird just acting like his usual goofy and curious self. walking with his head between his legs just... because. Which is, honestly, much of why most of us do many things. - Can't you give me a better reason than "just because"? - Well, I guess I... could try, but I don't think I could come up with a better reason. - Yeah, I understand. - [Strider] It's in the third act of this episode that things take a more serious turn. Big Bird has drawn caricatures of all the grownups he knows and starts handing them out. They all love his artwork, and there's generally all smiles. But Big Bird then pulls out a picture of Mr. Hooper, who had run the general store "Hooper's Store" since the beginning of the series in 1969. Everyone loves his drawing of Mr. Hooper, but then Big Bird says... - Well, I can't wait 'til he sees it. - [Strider] And the entire scene changes mood. Big Bird doesn't know exactly what death is and the grownups do their best to explain the situation to him kindly and honestly. He gets upset by this situation and fails to understand why things have to be this way. Eventually, Gordon explains it this way. - It has to be this way... because. - Just... because? - Just because. Part of what makes Sesame Street such an amazing program is it doesn't speak down to the kids, and treats even the most serious subjects as important to be discussed. It's not going to lie to the kids, but it's also gonna be there to embrace them. What is beautiful here is we can see Maria and all the other Sesame Street cast struggling and grieving on camera as they explain Hooper being gone to the kids. They went through this pain together, right along with their audience. And I don't know how you could show more love and respect for your young audience. Interestingly, we see through Big Bird all the accompanying feelings of loss. Those feelings of disbelief, denial, and frustration. And hopefully, eventually some level of acceptance, or at least tolerance. Sesame Street, as always, is to be commended for treating such a difficult subject with respect and having the integrity to be honest to their young viewers. They did everything they could to be right beside their child audience for this, grieving together. And for number five... Thomas the Tank Engine - Stepney Gets Lost. So, Thomas, we finally meet again. The charming, lighthearted stories of... sentient locomotives. Did anyone else enjoy watching these weird, stop-motion trains go about their daily lives on the Island of Sodor? Oh, apparently millions! As the show is STILL going on today. 34 freaking years later! But this particular episode remains among the darkest, most unsettling Thomas episodes I've ever seen. Here, we tackle the subject of... attempted murder! In this episode, we follow Stepney, a tiny steam train. He's tasked to help the other trains in the quarry and spends all day going back and forth on the tracks. After a long day's work, the quarry foreman asks Stepney's driver to pull a train of equipment to a new branch line. Isn't that the Fat Controller's call? We all know he's the REAL head honcho here. I mean, he did warn them. And that night, when Stepney delivers the cargo, things take a turn for the worst on his nightmarish route home. The music turns OMINOUS as the scene pours an uncertainty and fear into the viewers watching. A thick fog covers most of the tracks, making Stepney blind to his surroundings. The tracks are sabotaged and he's purposely led the wrong way, lost and uncertain. One the fog clears though, Stepney comes to the HORRIFYING discovery that he's in the train graveyard! Stepnet is left all alone as the driver and fireman go to get help. Shortly after, two unknown diesel engines with demonic smiles abduct our hero Stepney. - ['Arry] Got ya' this time, Stepney... - [Strider] They force Stepney into a fiery, underworld-like scene, leading to some grabber contraption. Our friend Stepney pleads that he's not scrap, but his death machine continues to slowly descend, getting closer and closer... - [Stepney] This engine's not for scrapping! - [Narrator] ...shouted Stepney. - [Strider] This episode essentially goes from being a happy-go-lucky show about trains to a disturbing attempted homicide with barely a bat of an eyelid. It honestly became hard to tell if I was even still watching Thomas the Tank Engine or some weird creepypasta fanfiction. In the end, the Fat Controller saves Stepney from being murdered, but he's scolded like it was his fault for facing annihilation after he got lost! I guess this episode was meant to give children a warning lesson about stranger danger? But in reality, you're far more likely to be murdered by your spouse or partner in your own home. Like, statistically WAY more likely. So I guess Stepney's train driver is most likely to murder him. Which actually does make sense, so, you know, acknowledge that advice, but also take it with a pinch of salt before you go terrifying your children. (machine rumbling) - [Fat Controller] Saving you from scrap is gettin' to be a habit, Stepney! Please stop it! Number four... Arthur - Germophobia. (theme music) ♪ Every day when you're walking down the street... - [Strider] Ah, so here you are, Arthur. To be honest, I always found this intro a bit too saccharine. But it remains catchy and upbeat, and there's honestly little to complain about. In fact, that's my whole problem with Arthur. I personally found it boringly wholesome even as a kid. I've no PROBLEM with it, I just didn't think it had much flavor to it. What could possibly be dark about this show, you ask? Well, in Germophobia, we get a scathing look at the slow progression of OCD. Unable to stop Buster's dirty habits, Arthur and his friends finally resort to encouraging a phobia for germs in Buster, encouraging him to obsess and fear the microorganisms, showing him germs under a microscope in a desperate attempt to change his filthy habits. However, that night, Buster has a life-changing event through his dream. A green gas expels from the harmonica he picked up out of the trash, causing his friends to abandon him as he chokes and drowns in the pool. Soon, he begins to hallucinate tiny germs on him all over, everywhere he goes. (germs laughing) - Are you okay? (tense music) - I'll... meet you in class! - [Strider] Buster's newfound cleanliness rapidly begins to spiral out of control, throwing away items even after washing them. Compulsively hand-washing, taking a bath in the middle of the night, not even wanting to eat breakfast because his mom touched objects without washing her hands. As his mind continues to crumble, his vision becomes distorted, and he begins to see hordes of germs cackling and swirling in and out of all the kids. His phobia becomes so intense that he begins to isolate himself from his friends! All the while, these tiny little microorganisms are letting out these creepy cackles. (Buster screaming) For anyone else who's known someone with these symptoms, or had obsessive-compulsive symptoms themselves, Germophobia can be a very unpleasant watch. As it very accurately captures that anxiety, isolation, and misery that can come with these debilitating habits. Seeing someone's mind play tricks on them like this and watching their compulsions change their entire perspective on life is a pretty creepy message for kids. But overall, I think this episode's a helpful lesson in finding a balance in cleanliness at the same time. ♪ And I say, "Hey!" (Hey!) - [Strider] Jeebus, that intro is dull. Why do they still have that same intro after 20 years? It's just as dull as ever! They even put it in HD, so they obviously had to re-animate it! And the third darkest PBS Kids episode is, Thomas the Tank Engine - The Sad Story of Henry. - [Narrator] Sudden dirt from the tunnel had spoiled his lovely green paint and red stripes anyway. - [Strider] Really, Thomas? YOU'RE on this list again? It's one thing to have strangers try and kill you. What about when your own family decides to isolate you in a tomb for all eternity? Giving you a little peephole to look out just so you can keep feeling miserable. ...well, for as long as a sentient locomotive consciousness can exist, anyway. You remember old Henry? Well it turns out, back in 1984, he didn't wanna come out of his tunnel because he apparently didn't want to get his new paint coat messed up? And the weirdly sadistic Fat Controller decides this is grounds to entomb him in a wall and trap him in the tunnel forever. In fact, to ensure he can't escape, the Fat Controller takes away his rails! And then directs the wall being built around him. - [Narrator] They took up the old rails and built a wall in front of him so that Henry couldn't get out of the tunnel anymore. - [Strider] Because building walls just always solves problems, doesn't it... But wait! Is it...? Yes! Yes it is! It's our hero Thomas, come to save our vain friend Henry. (engine chugging) (record scratch) (birds chirping) - [Strider] Nope, wait, nope, never mind. Thomas can't save Henry from his self-designated zone of death. Everyone just gives up on Henry. It's like Henry just gave up on himself, he gave up on life. He did not want to leave this tunnel. This episode was chilling enough to bring back some creepy memories of when I first saw it at a young age. There's no great monster here to run away from. The only monster here, like many good horrors, is the heroes themselves and the heroes here choose to encapsulate Henry in his eternal tomb. And instead of watching Henry learning and reflecting on his actions, we're watching the characters slowly fade away left to dwell on their decision for the rest of their, um... sentient train consciousness? But why did the Fat Controller feel the need to build a wall around him anyway? Why trap him in there? What reason was there to entomb Henry in the wall for all eternity? A crazy thought, but, what if he was willing to come out later? It seems like a waste of manpower and an extremely expensive sentient engine. But more importantly, why am I inserting logic into Thomas the Tank Engine? In the long years that followed, Gordon would continually mock him daily, claiming he deserved to stay in his tomb. - [Narrator] And Gordon would say, - [Gordon] Poop-poop-poop, serves you right! - [Strider] With no power left, Henry was unable to even cry out for help. - [Narrator] Poor Henry had no steam to answer. His fire had gone out. - [Strider] All he could do was continually gaze forward with those miserable eyes. - [Narrator] But I think he deserved his punishment. Don't you? - [Strider] Um, no...? (maniacal laughter in background)
I actually think the Fat Controller's a bit of a sadist. And the second-darkest PBS Kids episode is, Arthur - April 9th. Et tu, Arthur? It seems like Arthur's had multiple serious episodes. While the last one focused on some of the debilitating effects of OCD, this one instead has some of our favorite characters struggling with the symptoms of PTSD. In this two-parter episode, the kids are all at school when a fire breaks out. (alarm bell)
- [Mr. Ratburn] Follow me, and don't run! (Sue Ellen gasping) - [Strider] The smoke begins to rise in the hallways as the kids, uh... leisurely walk out of the burning building. That's an impressively disciplined set of third grade students. We then see the aftereffects as Mr. Morris is taken to the hospital in an ambulance. And Arthur watches helplessly, unable to rescue his dad from the burning building. Thanks to the brave firefighters, he does make it out okay, but the entire ordeal leaves a very strong impression on the kids. What's interesting about this episode is we see how a traumatic event can differently affect each person. Some of the students even show mild PTSD symptoms. And one even begins getting recurrent flashbacks of flame and smoke, ending up running frantically out of the school to cry because they're too terrified to be NEAR the school. He refuses to hear about the fire, he's suddenly unable to watch his favorite show. We generally know this student to be the tough guy who isn't afraid of anything. And seeing him in this helpless state is an unusual turn for the show. - I can't go back there! I just can't! I keep on seeing flames and smoke and... (Binky sobbing) - [Strider] The traumatic event affects Arthur really badly, too, and he begins having nightmares of watching his father drowning and being unable to protect him. The fear of losing a loved one so suddenly is certainly real, though, and I'm glad to see Arthur's show addressing it respectfully. PBS added a nice touch when they also show a short on fire safety during the break. They bring in firefighters to talk to the kids who've been in their own share of infernos. It's very touching, and a great lesson to kids on being calm in an emergency. And the number one darkest PBS Kids episode is... Pingu - Pingu's Dream. ♪ Pi-pi-pi-pi, Pi-pi-pi-pi, Pingu... - [Strider] I admit, this one's a weasel call, as Pingu mainly aired on PBS Sprout, but that technically still makes it PBS. And frankly, this episode remains one of the most visually-horrifying things I've ever seen on a kids' show! Ever! (spacey music) Believe it or not, this particular episode was outright banned, as the material was deemed unsuitable for children. But how can this harmless, slightly-annoying little penguin be unsuitable for children? We're thrown into Pingu's dream as his igloo just flies away. And his bed decides it wants to fly away, too. So far, this seems fine, just inanimate objects coming to life. Standard subconscious logic, really. But a sense of DREAD begins to form as this alien, walrus-like creature rises into view. Leering at Pingu like some deranged stalker. (Walrus roars, Pingu screams) - [Strider] JEEBUS! (walrus laughs demonically)
The hell is that?! That's just... (laughter continues) My gut wrenches uncontrollably purely just by seeing this thing onscreen! This... this is among the most horrifying, unintentional uncanny valley, David Lynchian creatures I've ever seen! Only a handful of things in animation can get under my skin nowadays, but this! This thing fits squarely at the rock bottom of the uncanny valley! (walrus laughs and snorts normally) - [Strider] If I haven't made it clear so far, I feel legitimately disturbed by this thing! And keep in mind, this cartoon was made for four-year-olds. Even the way it moves is wrong in every way! This thing is just vile, wrong, and it disturbs me on every one of my seven-and-a-half senses, including vestibular and proprioception! I can't imagine how many children were traumatized by this thing from seeing it when it aired. I can comfortably call the existence of this THING, wherever it is, the darkest PBS Kids show episode! (walrus laughs and snorts) - [Strider] But honestly, it's actually pretty dang refreshing to see something unnatural and out of the ordinary happen in these shows. For me, anyway. Part of the joy of these shows is in finding those treasure troves of bizarre, unusual, or simply discussing difficult-to-digest subjects for a young audience. Honestly, I get a real kick out of making these dark lists. They're good fun, so if you have any other recommendations for dark lists, feel free to leave them in the comments. And as always, thanks for watching, and I'll see you next time.
