[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WORLDWIDE PANTS, INC., and THE CBS TELEVISION NETWORK] TOM: GOOD EVENING, MY FRIENDS. WELCOME BACK. IT. G.I.F., HUH? THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY. ROBERT BLAKE IS HERE TONIGHT AND GINA BARRECCA IS HERE WITH A WONDERFUL NEW BOOK ON THE ART OF REVENGE. MAN, HAVE WE GOT WAYS OF GETTING BACK AT THOSE WHO HAVE IT COMING TO THEM. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I JUST SAID. LAST NIGHT I SAID WE ARE CURRENTLY USING THE -- WHAT WAS THE CALENDAR? THE JULIAN CALENDAR. WE HAVE NOT USED THAT CALENDAR FOR ABOUT 100 YEARS NOW. CHARLIE WEEKS CHOFS THE KEEPER OF HISTORY HERE AT THIS STA WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT'S EVER BEEN DONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE KNOWN WORLD REMINDED ME WE NOW OPERATE UNDER THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR. IT'S BEEN MANY DAYS SINCE MY DAYS AS AN ALTAR BOY. I WAS TALKING WITH KELLY MY ASSIST AN TONIGHT THE SOME NIGHT WE'RE GOING TO DO ALTAR BOY NIGHT HERE. I'M NOT FAKING FUN OF HOLY MOTHER CHURCH. I'M RECALLING WITH JOY MY YOUTHFUL DAYS AS AN ACOLYTE. WERE YOU CATHOLIC? >> YES. TOM: WERE YOU EVER AN ALTAR BOY? >> NEVER AN ALTAR BOY. TOM: WHY WOULD I ASK? WHO COULD TAKE THE -- WHO COULD TAKE THE WIND ON THE HIGH ALTAR? MAN, OH, MAN. SEND US A CASE OF BEANO. BUT YOU REMEMBER AT MASS, THE ALTAR BOY WOULD GO OVER TO THE SIDE TABLE AND GET THE GLASS CONTAINERS THAT CONTAINED THE WINE AND WATER WHICH WAS USED AT COMMUNION TIME AND YOU COULD ALWAYS TELL WHICH PRIESTS ENJOYED THE WINE MORE THAN OTHERS BECAUSE THE PRIEST WOULD HOLD THE GLASS WITH THEIR LOWER FINGERS AND ALLOW THE WINE AND WATER TO PASS OVER THEIR HANDS IN SYMBOLISM OF JESUS CHRIST AND WHEN THEY STOPPED MOVING THEIR THUMBS AND FOREFINGERS TOGETHER YOU KNEW TO STOP POURING THE WINE. USUALLY YOU'D POUR THREE OR FOUR DRIBBLES OF WINE AND HE'D STOP AND YOU'D STOP POURING BUT THERE WAS ONE WHO KEPT IS GOING UNTIL ALL THE WINE WAS IN THE CHALI KRE E AND AFTERWARDS AT THE END OF MASS YOU WOULD GO TO CLEAN UP THE ALTAR AFTERWARDS AND EVERY NOW AND THEN THERE WOULD BE THAT MUCH WINE, EXCEPT FOR THE ONE FATHER GOD BLESS HIS SOUL, DRAINED TO THE BOTTOM. NOW LAST NIGHT HERE WE WERE TALKING WITHDREW DREW, AND WE WENT TO THE TOLL FREE LINE AND I SAID GEORGE IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS, HELLO AND WE GOT THE DIAL TONE AND I GOT A DARLING LETTER TODAY FROM GEORGE IN TEXAS AS TO WHAT HAPPENED AND AYES COURTESY BECAUSE I KNOW HE WAITED A LONG TIME TO GET THROUGH LAST NIGHT WE HAVE CALLED HIM BACK. GEORGE IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS, HELLO. CALLER: HELLO. TOM: HOW ARE YOU CALLER: HOW ARE YOU DOING? TOM: I'M FINE. CAN YOU TELL US WHY WE GOT DIAL TONE LAST NIGHT FROM YOU? CALLER: YEAH. I WAS -- YOUR ASSISTANT TOLD ME TO TURN DOWN MY TV SO I PUT THE PHONE IN THE CRICK OF MY NECK AND IT HAS THE RECEIVER -- THE CLICK THING TO HANG UP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY CALL IT. TOM: LITTLE BUTTON THAT IF YOU TOUCH IT HANGS UP THE PHONE. CALLER: AND SO I HAD IT IN THE CRICK OF MY NECK AND I TURNED OFF THE -- I TURNED ON THE TV AND WENT AND SAT BACK DOWN AND I'M WAITING, YOU KNOW, I'M ON HOLD AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEAR A CLICK AND I'M LIKE OH MY GOD AND I'M LOOKING AT THE TV AND I'M GOING, OK, IT'S A COMMERCIAL, THEY'LL CATCH IT, EVERYTHING WILL BE OK AND THEY COME BACK AND IT'S LIKE THERE'S GEORGE FROM HUNTSVILLE AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME AND I'M LOOKING AT YOU -- TOM: YOU SEE YOUR NAME UP ON THE SCREEN BUT WE'RE NOT TALKING. CALLER: I JUST START CUSSING AND LOOKING AT THE TV AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD DILE TONIGHT ON TV AND I GO -- TURNED OFF THE TV AND SAT THERE. TOM: AT THAT POINT DID YOU GO IN THE BATHROOM AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND CALL YOURSELF DUMB? CALLER: I DIDN'T CALL MYSELF DUMB, BUT, YEAH, BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT ACTUALLY. TOM: LISTEN, KID, I LOVED ETTER TODAY. SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET THROUGH LAST NIGHT BUT I DID WANT TO CALL YOU BACK AND LET YOU KNOW WE THINK THE WORLD OF OUR CALLERS HERE AND I'M SORRY IT HAPPENED AND WE GOT A GREAT CHARGE OUT OF YOUR GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. CALLER: AND I REALLY AM SORRY. TOM: AND TELL THE FOLKS HOW YOU SIGNED YOUR LETTER. CALLER: YOURS TRULY, GEORGE TROTSVILLE, AKA, THE VILLAGE IDIOT. TOM: HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND, MY FRIEND AND THANKS FOR WATCHING THE PROGRAM. YOU KNOW, FOLKS, WE TELL YOU TO TURN DOWN THE SOUND OF YOUR SET BECAUSE OF FEEDBACK BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE IF YOU HAVE A HAND SET EQUIPPED SHUTOFF BUTTON WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING BECAUSE WE DISAPPEAR REAL FAST. ROBERT BLAKE IS HERE TONIGHT. REGINA BARRECCA IS HERE WITH REVENGE IN THE BEST AND WORST OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND YOU IF YOUR PATIENT ON THE TOLL FREE HIGHWAY. FIRE UP A SIMULTINI AND WATCH THE PICTURES AS THEY FLY THROUGH THE AIR. THANKS FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. ■■■■ TOM: IF YOU HEAR A VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND THAT BELONGS TO THE ACTOR ROBERT BLAKE WHO IS TRULY AN ORANGE, HE HAS BOWED TO NO ONE THROUGHOUT HIS CAREER EARNING HIM A REPUTATION AS BOTH A PERFECTIONIST AND AS ONE TOUGH CUSTOMER. MR. BLAKE, I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE YOU HERE FOR A LONG TIME AND WELCOME TO CBS. >> MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT. TOM: YES. AFTER BARETTA AND I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ASKED THIS 100 TIMES, WHERE DID YOU GO? >> I'VE DONE THAT ALL MY LIFE. I WALK OUT IN SUNSHINE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THEN I GOT TO GO YOU WERE A ROCK AND DISAPPEAR AND DO ALL THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS TO MYSELF. ACTUALLY BARETTA WAS A TERRIBLE THING THAT I DID TO MYSELF TO START WITH. IF I LIVE TO BE A JILLION, I WILL SWEEP FLOORS, I WILL SHINE YOUR SHOES BEFORE I DO A SERIES. TOM: WHY? >> I KNOW SOME PEOPLE -- ROBERT WAGNER WOULER DO A SERIES THAN EAT. HE IS JUST HAPPY AS A PIG IN WHATEVER. TOM: EXACTLY RIGHT. >> I JUST -- WELL, IN THE FIRST PLACE, NO ONE GOES FROM -- FROM DOING MAJOR PARTS IN MAJOR MOTION PICTURES WITH WORLD CLASS DIRECTORS TO A SERIES. THAT'S MY SELF-STKRUF NATURE WHICH USED TO BE VERY COULDN'T STAND IN MY LIFE. HOW DO YOU GO FROM COLD BLOOD TO A DIRECTOR? AND SO THERE I WAS ROWING A BOAT FULL OF HOLES WITH A BUNCH OF LOSERS SAYING COME ON, GUYS, WE CAN MAKE THIS WONDERFUL. WE CAN DO IT. WE CAN DO IT. DOING A SERIES IS LIKE SCREWING A GORILLA. YOU DO IT, AND THEN YOU'RE DONE, AND THE GORILLA SAYS I AIN'T THROUGH YET, AND YOU GOT TO KEEP ON DOING IT, AND YOU SAY HOW COULD SOMETHING THAT FELT SO GOOD FEEL SO BAD, AND THE GORILLA KEEPS SAYING, COME ON, BABY, COME ON, BABY. PRETTY SOON YOU FEEL LIKE YOU GOT A RECTUM FULL OF BRILLO AND YOU JUST WANT TO DIE. TOM: I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU COME FROM, BROTHER. I NOT. >> I WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE A CLEAR LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. TOM: LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT ROBERT BLAKE THE INDIVIDUAL. YOU'VE NEVER HAD AN ENTOURAGE. FOR A LONG TIME YOU DIDN'T HAVE A MANAGER, A PUBLICITY, YOU DIDN'T HAVE A PERSONAL ASSIST AN, ALL THESE THINGS THAT ARE VITAL TO A MAJOR STAR. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? >> OH, GOD. HOW LONG IS YOUR SHOW. HOW CAN I BRIEFLY SAY THIS? I -- YOU KNOW, I HAVE A REPUTATION OF BEING A JUNK YARD DOG AND BEING CRAZY AND ALL THESE THINGS AND FOR YEARS, IT WAS TRUE. AND ONLY LIKE FIVE OR SIX YEARS AGO I BEGAN TO HAVE MEMORIES OF TERRIBLE CHILD ABUSE, PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL, AWFUL STUFF THAT WAS DONE TO ME, AND WHEN YOU SAY WHAT'S ROBERT BLAKE'S STORY, WHY ISN'T HE WHERE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE, WHY DOESN'T HE -- I HAVE AN AGENT NOW THAT I HAVEN'T TALKED TO IN SIX MONTHS. I MEAN, I -- I'M BETTER THAN I WAS BY A LONG SHOT, BUT I STILL HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT TIME LIVING IN THE SUNSHINE. TOM: YOU NOTICE THAT I DIDN'T ASK YOU WHY AREN'T YOU WHERE YOU SHOULD BE, BECAUSE YOU MAY WELL BE WHERE YOU'RE EXACTLY SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT JUDGE OR JURY ON THAT, BUT IS THIS A QUESTION YOU ASK YOURSELF? >> I DON'T ASK IT ANYMORE, BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. I MEAN, IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO GET HERE, BUT I'M RIGHT ON TIME. I FEEL MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE. THE LAST THREE OR FOUR JOBS I'VE DONE CAME OFF JUST FINE. "MONEY TRAIN" WAS GREAT, EVEN THOUGH THEY HELD MY SALARY UNTIL THE MOVIE WAS OVER IN CASE I ATE ONE OF THEIR CHILDREN, BUT IT ALL WORKED OUT OK, AND I JUST GOT THROUGH WORKING WITH DAVID LYNCH. HE'S WONDERFUL. HE'S MUCH CRAZIER THAN I AM. I THINK HE LIVES ON JUPITER OR VENUS OR SOMEWHERE. TOM: HE'S GOT THE NEW PICTURE COMING OUT THIS YEAR. I FORGET THE NAME. >> IT'S CALLED "LOST HIGHWAY." AND I PLAY THE DEVIL, I THINK. I SAID DAVID I'VE READ THIS SCRIPT THROUGH A DOZEN TIMES AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND ONED OF IT. YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE TO STAND AND WHAT TO SAY AND HOW TO SAY IT, AND I WILL DO IT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THIS PAGE IS ABOUT. I LOVE HIS MOVIES THOUGH, BUT IF YOU ASK ME WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW. TOM: THAT'S OK. YOU'VE BEEN AROUND MOVIES YOUR WHOLE LIFE, HAVEN'T YOU? >> YES. I STARTED WHEN I WAS 2. TOM: YOU SAW SPENCER TRACY WORK? >> YES. WHEN I WAS 4 YEARS OLD, I WALKED ON THE SET, AND I SAID I CAN DO THAT. I KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING. I DON'T MEAN HIT THE MARKS AND SAY THE JOKES. I MEAN, I UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE WAS FEELING. YOU KNOW, I THINK IF YOU'RE REALLY LUCKY, YOU'RE BORN WITH A TALENT FOR SOMETHING, AND IF YOU'RE EXTREMELY LUCKY, YOU FIND THAT SOMETHING IN LIFE. BUT I WAS JUST REALLY LUCKY THAT I GOT IN FRONT OF THE BOX AND I FELT ABSOLUTELY COMFORTABLE. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME ANYBODY EVER HUGGED ME. FIRST TIME ANYBODY EVER SAID, YOU KNOW, THAT A BOY. WE LIKE YOU. YOU BELONG HERE. I WENT HOME TO AN ASYLUM EVERY NIGHT WITH LUNA SICK CRAZY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. BUT I KNEW ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WALK DOWN TO MGM AND SOMEBODY WOULD SAY HE'S HERE. TOM: YOU WERE GOING TO BE THE NEXT BIG CHILD STAR WHEN YOU WERE A KID. >> THAT'S RIGHT. WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD, THEY STARRED ME IN A FILM. IT WAS DONNA REED'S FIRST FILM KPIFS GOING TO BE THE NEXT MICKEY ROONEY AND ALL THAT, AND I DID THE MOVIE. IT WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL, AND MY FATHER GOT INSANELY JEALOUS AND WENT AND MESSED UP WITH THE STUDE WROE AND WAS BARRED FROM THE LOT, AND HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND A NUT AND HE KNOCKED HIMSELF OFF WHEN I WAS LIKE 45 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT WITH A GREAT DEAL OF COMPASSION BECAUSE IF I DO I'LL BE ALL OVER THE FLOOR CRYING AND PEOPLE WILL BE HERE WITH TOWELS. TOM: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL. >> NO. IT'S COOL. I REALLY FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY WHO IS OUT THERE WHO WAS LOCKED IN CLOSETS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE AND MADE TO EAT ON THE FLOOR LIKE A DOG AND STUFF LIKE THAT, AND THEY SAY, WELL, ROBERT IS 60 YEARS OLD AND HE'S HERE AND HE'S OK, SO MAYBE I DON'T HAVE TO JUMP OUT OF A WINDOW TOM: YOUR FATHER DID THAT TO YOU? >> WELL, MY FATHER, MY MOTHER. I WAS BORN INTO A VERY UGLY ENVIRONMENT. AND THAT'S THE NAME OF THAT TUNE. DON'T ASK ME WHY I VIFDE. THEY DIDN'T WANT ME. THEY HAD TWO ABORTIONS BEFORE ME, AND THE COAT HANGER DIDN'T WORK AND THAT'S HOW I GOT BORN, AND I KNEW I HAD TO HIT THE GROUND RUNNING OR I WAS GOING TO BE UNDER, AND IT'S TAKEN A LONG, LONG TIME. TOM: YOU SAY YOUR FATHER WAS JEALOUS OF YOU, SO I WOULD PRESUME HE WAS ALSO AN ACTOR OF SORTS, BUT PROBABLY NOT JEALOUS -- A SUCCESSFUL ONE. >> MY SISTER AND BROTHER WHO WERE OLDER THAN ME, THEY DANCED, BUT IT SUCKED. THEY WERE TERRIBLE. WHEN I WAS 2 YEARS OLD I WENT OUT AND SAID I CAN MAKE THESE PEOPLE LAUGH AND I DID AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING. TOM: YEARS LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT -- >> GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED. PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME, HOW DO YOU PLAY A MURDERER? I SAY THE TRUTH IS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REACH THAT FAR. NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. TOM: I WASN'T GOING TO ASK YOU ABOUT THAT. WHAT I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU ABOUT WAS TRUDY COMPADO ON THE SET? >> DIDN'T WORK WITH HIM AT ALL. TOM: DID YOU WORK WITH THE ATTORNEY JOHN WE LE SH WHO WAS IN THE MCCARTHY HEARINGS WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY BEGGED ROY CONE, DID YOU DO ANYTHING WITH HIM OR WAS HE ON THE SET WHEN YOU WERE THERE? >> NO. RICHARD BROOKS WROTE IT, PRODUCED IT, DIRECTED IT, AND HAD ME AND SCOTT WILSON AND THAT'S ALL HE HAD. AND WHEN THE FILM WAS OVER, I MET TRUMAN, AND WE BECAME FAST, CLOSE, DEAR FRIENDS. I MISS HIM EVERY DAY. HE WAS ONE OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT, BRILLIANT, INSIGHTFUL GUYS -- TOM: TORTURED GUYS. >> VERY SO. A LOT OF THOSE GUYS, A LOT OF HIS FRIENDS, BUT WHEN IT CAME TO THEIR WORK, THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY GENIUSES. TOM: I REMEMBER INTERVIEWING CAPODI ON NBC AND IT WAS TOWARDS THE END OF HIS RUN AND HE HAD BEEN DRINKING OBVIOUSLY BUT IN SPITE OF THAT, HIS PERCEPTION, HIS VISION OF LIFE WAS -- IT WAS JUST WONDERFUL TO BE IN HIS COMPANY. >> HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. HE LOVED ME MOST DEARLY. HE TOLD ME MANY TIMES, YOU KNOW, TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I WOULD GET CALLS AT LIKE 3:00 IN THE MORNING, AND THE PHONE WOULD RING. HI, ROBERT, THIS IS TRUMAN. I SAID, WELL, WHO THE HELL ELSE WOULD IT BE. TRUMAN, WHERE ARE YOU? >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I THINK I'M IN THE PRINCIPALITY SOMEWHERE. THERE ARE PEOPLE WALKING AROUND WITH ROBES ON, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM. AND HOW ARE YOU? HE WOULD BE IN A CASTLE SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING AND HE WOULD CALL TO SAY HOW ARE YOU AND WHAT'S GOING ON. TOM: DID YOU SEE THE SHOW THAT BOBBY MORRIS DID? WHAT A GREAT SHOW. >> YEAH. TOM: LISTEN, I GOT TO PAUSE FOR A COMMERCIAL. WE ARE WITH ROBERT BLAKE. THE TOLL FREE IS UP AND RUNNING AND TONIGHT IF YOU SAY THE SECRET WORD, YOU'LL RECEIVE A FREE LATE SHOW T-SHIRT. WE'RE GOING TO BRING BACK THE SECRET WORD. THEY DON'T MAKE THAT SHOW ANYMORE SO WE'RE GOIN TO STEAL IT. BACK WITH ROBERT BLAKE AND YOU AFTER THESE MESSAGES. <i>BEFORE WE TELL YOU
ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS CAR,</i> <i>WE WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT IT COSTS 35 GRAND,</i> <i>WHICH WE AT OLDSMOBILE THINK
IS A DARN GOOD PRICE...</i> <i>FOR A V8 LUXURY PERFORMANCE
SEDAN LIKE THE AURORA.</i> <i>NATURALLY, THE PEOPLE IN FINANCE
WANTED TO ASK 50,</i> <i>BUT WE
TALKED 'EM OUT OF IT.</i> <i>IT'S YOUR MONEY.</i> TOM: WE'VE NOW ENDURED THREE MINUTES OF COMPLAINING FROM OUR GUEST WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT WHERE THE TABLE WAS WITH HIS DAMN CUP OF TEA. >> NOBODY PROVIDES FOR LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE. TOM: I WANT YOU TO KNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THAT TABLE HAS BEEN ON THAT SIDE THE CHAIR. AND I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED, BECAUSE ANY HINGE IN THE SET IS A BLESSING TO ME. I WELCOME CHANGE. I WELCOME THINGS THAT ARE DIFFERENT. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE? >> CAN I WEAR A DRESS? TOM: WHAT SIZE? WE WERE TALKING ON THE BREAK -- YOU KNOW, WE INVITED YOU TO BE A GUEST ON THE SHOW I DID FOR CNBC CABLE, THE FIRST ONE AND I REMEMBER YOU AND I TALKED ON THE PHONE AND AGREED YOU WOULD COME ON AND YOU WERE GOING TO DO THE SHOW -- >> YOU WERE TERRIBLE TO ME ON THE PHONE. TOM: I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE. WELL, IT WAS YOUR FIRST EPISODE AND YOU WERE UP SO TIGHT YOU COULDN'T GET A DIME UP YOUR BUTT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. YOU STARTED YELLING AT ME, NOW I WANT IT TO BE FUNNY. UNDERSTAND? WELL, GET RICHARD PRIOR OR SOMEBODY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AND BEING THE GENTLEMAN THAT I AM NOW, I WOULD HAVE SAID, HEY, THE GUY IS UPTIGHT ABOUT HIS SHOW. HE DOESN'T MEAN IT PERSONALLY ON ME, BUT I USED TO TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY. I COULD TANGLE ASS WITH A BUTTERFLY. I GO OUT THERE AND PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A STONE WALL. SOMEBODY SAYS THE DOOR IS OVER THERE AND I KILL HIM. BUT YOU CAN SEE HOW MELO I AM NOW. TOM: YES, I CAN. YOU CERTAINLY HAVE CALMED DOWN. WOW. HERE'S LYNN ON THE TOLL FREE IN AMITYVILL YORK. CALLER: HI, HOW ARE YOU? TOM: HI. WELCOME TO THE SHOW. HAPPY FRIDAY. CALLER: I ENJOY THE SHOW SO MUCH. MR. BLAKE, I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU, WITH ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE DISCOVERED OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS, HAS THIS HELPED YOU RELATE TO YOUR KIDS BETTER? YOU KNOW, OPEN UP TO THEM AND LEARN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF? HAS IT HELPED YOU? >> I WISH IN MY HEART IF I HAD ANYTHING TO LIVE OVER, I'D BE A MUCH BETTER PARENT. UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN'T FIX WHAT I DID TO MY KIDS. THEY HAVE TO GO BACK IN THEIR OWN SOUL AND DO THE WORK THAT I DID, BUT I DON'T KNOW, SOMEHOW I'M BLESSED. MY KIDS SURVIVED. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT HOW MANY HOLLYWOOD KIDS, YOU KNOW, KILL THEMSELVES AND IF ANYBODY EVER WRITES THAT BOOK, IT'S GOING TO BE A HORROR STORY. TOM: OR HOW MANY KIDS GET KAUP UP IN THE ABUSE OF DRUGS. >> BUT MY KIDS SURVIVED. MY SON IS A GOOD WORKING SUCCESSFUL ACTOR AND A GOOD MUSICIAN. MY DAUGHTER IS -- WELL, WHAT WOULD MY DAUGHTER BE? TOM: PSYCHIATRIST. >> EXACTLY. SHE HAS THAT -- YOU GOT IT. FIRST TIME OUT. TOM: AND I BET SHE'S GOT A STEADY PATIENT. >> I WAS HER FIRST PATIENT SINCE SHE WAS 2. SHE SAID, DADDY, WHAT THE MATTER? CALLER: I HAVE TO TELL YOU, SIR, I'M VERY GLAD TO HEAR THAT, BECAUSE YOU'VE GIVEN THE REST OF US A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF PLEASURE. WE SO MUCH ENJOYED YOU WITH THE MYSELF AND MEN AND I KNOW YOU MIGHT HAVE HATED "BARETTA" BUT WE LOVED IT. I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR ABILITIES WITH US, AND I WISH YOU WELL, AND YOUR FAMILY WELL. >> THANK YOU. THANK YOU. TOM: LYNN, THANKS A MILLION AND THANKS FOR BEING UP WITH US TONIGHT. CALLER: THANK YOU, TOM. >> THAT'S THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING NICE. YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE COMING OUT OF THE WOODS, IT BECOMES EASIER TO BE GENEROUS TO OTHER PEOPLE, BUT WHEN SOMEBODY IS GENEROUS TO YOU, YOU WANT TO GO RUN AND HIDE, BECAUSE IT'S LIKE -- BY THE WAY, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WALKS IN THOSE SHOES, THINK AGAIN. ALL OF US SHARE THAT FEELING. YOU KNOW, YOU CAN DAMN ME WITH CRITICISM AND I WILL LISTEN, BUT IF YOU COVER ME WITH PRAISE, I BECOME BARRASSED. >> WELL, YOU HAVE NO WORRY HERE. TOM: SO YOUR DAUGHTER IS A SHRINK, HUH? >> YES. SUCCESSFUL AND DOING WELL. TOM: HAS SHE BEEN OF HELP TO YOU, NOT THAT YOU GO AND SEE HER, BUT DO YOU AND SHE CONVERSE AS FATHER AND DAUGHTER AND DOES SHE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? >> I LOVE MY DAUGHTER MOST DEARLY. SHE IS IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE'S A JOY AND A LIFE IN THIS WORLD. I HOPE THAT ONE DAY SHE WILL GET OVER TRYING TO SAVE ME AND ACCEPT THE FACT THIS I'M GOING TO BE HERE FOR A WHILE AND LIKE THAT. TOM: OK. NOW, THERE WAS ANOTHER STORY THAT I READ ABOUT IN YOUR YOUTH WHEN YOU WOULD SEE ALL KINDS OF ACTORS GETTING READY TO GO BEFORE THE CAMERA, WHEN THEY WOULD GO THROUGH THEIR VARIOUS PREPS. EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT WAY OF GETTING READY TO DO A SCENE. WHAT WERE SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SAW? >> I STARTED ACTING WHEN I WAS 2. I WAS VERY COMFORTABLE. I WORKED WITH GARFIELD AND BETTE DAVIS AND GREAT DIRECTORS AND ALL LIKE THAT KIND OF STD SPENCER TRACY WOULD BE OVER THERE READING THE PAYROLL AND SOMEBODY WOULD SAY, SPENCER, WE'RE READY. HE SAID IS THE CAMERA ROLLING YET. OK. AND HE'D WAKE IN FRONT AND DO DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE OR MICKEY ROONEY WOULD BE PLAYING DRUMS AND THINGS. THEY RELY ON A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF TRUTH AND A GREAT IMAGINATION, AND SO WHEN I CAME OUT THE ARMY I WAS LIKE IN ALASKA IN THE INFANTRY AND ALL THAT CRAZY STUFF AND I STARTED GOING BACK TO WORK AND I WAS FALLING OFF HORSES FOR A LIVING AND THIS AND THAT, AND THEN I GOT A JOB ON A PICTURE CALLED PORK CHOP HILL, AND HE BROUGHT OUT ALL THESE NEW YORK ACTORS. THERE WERE LIKE 900 OF THEM THERE AND I GO TO WORK AND I GOT MY PAGES AND I'M WAITING AND THESE GUYS ARE DOING ALL KINDS OF WEIRD THINGS. ONE GUY IS OVER HERE THROWING UP IN THE CORNER. ANOTHER GUY IS DOING PUSHUPS. ANOTHER GUY HAS A LETTER AND HE'S READING IT. AND HE'D GET IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA AND PLAY A SCENE AND I SAID WHAT THE HELL IS GOON? I SNUCK OVER IN THE BAG TO READ THE LETTER AND IT WAS A DEAR JOHN FROM THIS CHICK IN NEW YORK. I SAID I GOT TO GO TO ACTING CLASS AND LEARN HOW TO DO ALL THIS STUFF. SO I WENT AND DID. I STUDIED WITH THE TEACHERS AND I FIGURED OUT AFTER A LONG TIME, BECAUSE I HAD VERY LITTLE EGO, I SAID, THAT'S ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRETEN THAT YOU'RE EXHAUSTED, SO YOU HAVE TO STAY UP FOUR NIGHTS AND THREE DAYS AND STICK YOUR FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT. SO I STARTED WORKING AGAIN, AND I STARTED DOING WHAT THEY WERE DOING JUST TO BE AN ACTOR. THEY'D SAY MR. -- NO, I'M. READY. GIVE ME A MINUTE. GO THROUGH A BUNCH OF STUFF. YES, OK, ROLL. NO I'M NOT READY. AND I GOT BORED WITH THAT SO I WENT BACK TO DOING WHAT I ALWAYS DO. JUST HIT THE MARKS AND SAY THE JOKES. YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN ACROSS FROM YOU, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER. YOU DON'T HAVE TO IMAGINE YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SISTER AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF. MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT. TOM: MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT. LIKE YOU SAY, HIT THE MARK, SAY THE JOKES. >> LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND TELL THE TRUTH. THAT GREAT STORY ABOUT CAGNEY SAID THIS GUY YOU'RE WORKING WITH IS SIX FEET TALL, DO YOU WANT THE LIFTS? HE SAID WHEN THE SCENE IS OVER, HE'LL BE MY SIZE. TOM: WE'LL BE BACK. TOM: WITH ROBERT BLAKE, HERE IS HOLLY ON THE TOLL FREE IN FORT RILEY, KANSAS. HELLO CALLER: HI, HOW ARE YOU? TOM: I'M FINE. THANKS FOR JOINING US TONIGHT. CALLER: THANK YOU. I LOVE YOUR SHOW. TOM: THANK YOU, AND THAT'S NOT ME. THAT'S BLAKE BLOWING SMOKE. I TOOK THE HEAT FOR NINE YEARS. CALLER: YOU LOOK GREAT, TOM, BY THE WAY. TOM: SO DO YOU. CALLER: APPRECIATE IT. MY QUESTION IS -- I WAS JUST WONDERING -- FIRST OF ALL, I THINK ROBERT BLAKE LOOKS BETTER THAN HE'S EVER LOOKED IN HIS LIFE. I'VE BEEN WATCHING HIM SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL AND MY QUESTION IS HOW DID HE OVERCOME HIS SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEM AND IF HE HAD ONE. >> I AM AN ADDICT. I WILL ABUSE ANYTHING. IF A CANDY BAR MAKES FEEL GOOD, TOMORROW I'LL -- IF YOU COOK YOUR SHOES AND A ATE THEM AND IT CHANGED HOW I FELT, I'D BUY A TRUCKLOAD OF SHOES. TOM: I UNDERSTAND THAT. IF YOU ENJOYED GRAPES, YOU'D EAT A VINEYARD. >> ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF THE WAY I FEEL, AND I -- THE MAIN THING THAT I WOULD TELL ANYBODY WHO'S GOT PROBLEMS LIKE THAT IS YOU CAN'T FIX THE INSIDE FROM THE OUTSIDE. YOU KNOW, YOU CAN BE A WORKAHOLIC, AN ALCOHOLIC, A TRUCK ADDICT, WHATEVER. ALL TO TRY TO FIX THE INSIDE, AND IT NEVER WORKS. NO BETTER THAN A HAIR DO. YOU GOT TO GO INSIDE AND FIX WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. I HAD A THERAPIST FOR 30 YEARS -- COUNT THEM, JACK, 30 YEARS -- FIVE DAYS A WEEK. HE SAID IF YOU DO THIS, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. WELL, IF YOU BECOME SUCCESSFUL ACCIDENT FAME, FORTUNE, POWER, THIS, THAT, WHATEVER, AND THE MORE I DID, THE WORSE I FELT AND MY LIFE CAME COMPLETELY UNGLUED 10 YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS AT THE PINNACLE OF EVERYTHING AND I WAS THE END VERY OF EVERYBODY AND I COULDN'T STAND THE WAY I FELT. YOU HAVE TO GO INSIDE AND FIX IT OR YOU'LL STILL BE TRYING TX IT FROM THE OUTSIDE. I'LL TRY THIS DOPE, THAT DOPE, I'LL GO THROUGH 9,000 WOMEN, I'LL DO SOMETHING. NEVER WORKS. TOM: AND -- SO THERE'S -- THERE'S NO FAST ANSWER TO HOW DID YOU EVER ESCAPE SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOLIC ABUSE? IT WAS HARD WORK, BUT YOU HAD TO DO IT? >> YEAH. YEAH. I WOULD RECOMMEND TO ANYBODY IN THE UNIVERSE TO INSTANTLY GET ON A 12-STEP PROGRAM. AND GET AROUND PEOPLE OF YOUR OWN KIND, WHATEVER YOUR PROBLEM IS, AND SEE HOW THEY'RE DOING IT, AND LET THEM, YOU KNOW, LOVE AND HELP YOU BACK TO HEALTH. TOM: RIGHT. HOLLY, I HOPE THAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION. CALLER: IT DOES. AND I APPRECIATE IT, AND HE -- LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I'VE BEEN WATCHING FOR A LONG TIME AND I THINK HE'S LOOKS GREAT, SO HE'S DOING SOMETHING RIGHT. >> I CAN'T SEE YOU, BUT YOU GOT A SEXY VOICE. CALLER: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT MADE MY EVENING. GOOD NIGHT, TAKE CARE. TOM: ALL RIGHT. BYE-BYE. THEY TOLD ME TO ASK YOU ABOUT THE TIME YOU AND JOHN PETERS TANGLED. >> OH, MAN. I -- WELL, I HADN'T WORKED FOR A WHILE. I DID THE JOHN LIZ STORY AND HOFFA AND THEN MY USUAL DISAPPEARANCE ACT HAPPENED. TOM: WHEN WAS THIS NOW? 1986? >> I GOT A PHONE CALL A WHILE BACK AND A LOVELY LADY SAID, HEY, YOU FEEL LIKE WORKING AND I HAPPENED TO BE IN THE MOOD AND I SAID YEAH, SO THERE WAS THIS PICTURE OF MONEY TRAIN AND THERE WAS THIS PART THAT NORMALLY YOU WOULD HIRE DENNIS HOPPER OR TOMMY LEE JONES OR SOMEBODY TO PLAY, AND SO HE SAID I'M GOING TO GET YOU THIS PART. I'LL CALL SOME PEOPLE, SO I WENT TO NEW YORK I READ FOR IT, AND I TESTED FOR IT, AND THEY CHECKED MY TEETH, GAVE ME A PROCKTONLOGICAL EXAMINATION. I WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING THERE WAS TO DO. I SAID BY THE TIME GET ON THE SET I'LL HAVE DONE IT 15 TIMES. SO, ANYWAY, I'M BACK IN MY HOUSE IN LOS ANGELES. NOW THEY SAID YOU GOT TO GO MEET THE PRODUCER. JOHN PETERS. TOM: MR. PETERS. >> I REMEMBER HIM WHEN HE WAS A BARBER. SO THEY SENT A LIMOUSINE TO MY HOUSE. A 9,000 FOOT LONG THING AND TOOK ME TO A FANCY HOTEL UP BEHIND SUNSET BOULEVARD WAY UP THERE THAT HAS THE FISH PONDS AND ALL THAT STUFF. TOM: THE BEL AIR HOTEL. >> WAY UP THERE SOMEPLACE. I WENT OUT AND THEY SAID TAKE TWO LEFT AND THREE RIGHTS AND I FINALLY GET TO HIS MAGNIFICENT SUITE, AND HE'S A YOUNG CAT, PRETTY BIG AND WE SIT DOWN AND WE START TALKING. I SAY HOW MUCH MORE, WHAT DO I GOT TO GO THROUGH, MAN? TOM: JUST LET ME DO MY WORK. >> I'M DONE WITH THIS PART ALREADY. AND HE'S TALKING TO ME AND TALKING TO ME AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE SAID YOU USED TO BOX, DIDN'T YOU? AND I SAID, YEAH, I WAS IN THE ARMY AND I BOXED A LITTLE BIT. HE SAID CAN YOU STILL HANDLE YOURSELF? AND I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE MOVIE, SOME STUNTS THAT I HAD TO DO. HE SAID LET ME SEE YOU MOVE AROUND A LITTLE BIT. I THOUGHT I WAS STILL TESTING FOR THE PART. I GOT UP AND STARTED MOVING AROUND A LITTLE BIT AND HE GOT UP WITH ME AND WE STARTED SPARRING A LITTLE BIT AND THIS JOKER HAS HIS HANDS CLOSED AND I SAID WELL NOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. I AIN'T GOING TO LET THIS GUY HIT ME. I WANT THE PART BUT I AIN'T GOING TO LET HIM HIT ME. NO CAN HIT ME BECAUSE I'M REALLY FAST. I CAN'T HIT HARD BUT I'M VERY FAST. CONDITION HIT. SO I'M DUCKING AND BOBBING AND MOVING AROUND. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GET SHOTS INTO ME AND FINALLY HE GETS INSIDE AND WE'RE BUNCHING UP AND HE GRABS ME BY THE SHIRT, AND HE SAYS DID YOU EVER GRAPPLE? AND I SAID, SAY WHAT? HE SAID HAVE YOU EVER GRAPPLED? I SAID, NO, SIR, I NEVER GRAPPLED. HE SAID I'M A GRAP LER, YOU WANT TO GRAPPLE? I SAID OK AND WE STARTED WRESTLING AROUND AND HE TRIED TO GET ME OFF MY FEET AND I SAID I HAVE TO GO WITH IT AND HE ROCKS ME BACK AND ROLLS BACK AND GETS HIS LEGS INTO MY CHEST AND FLIPS ME OVER AND I HIT A TABLE. MAN, I HIT MY HIP AND NOW I'M MAD. I'M ON THE GROUND AND HE'S ON TOP OF ME. I SAID THAT'S IT, SCREW THE PART, SCREW EVERYTHING. THEY'RE CARRYING THIS GUY OUT. HE AIN'T GETTING UP, AND HE STOPPED. IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING HE STOPS AND HE GETS UP AND SITS BACK DOWN AGAIN AND HE SAYS YOU WANT A COKE, AND WE CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AND IT WAS ALL OVER. NOW DISSOLVE. I DO THE MOVIE. AS GOD IS MY JUDGE, I'M TELLINU TO WRITE TRUTH. THIS IS NOT TALK SHOW JIVE. I SWEAR ON MY CHILDREN'S LIFE I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. I NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE THAT OR AFTER THAT. I SAW HIM ONCE AT BARBARA STRISE SAND'S HOUSE. NOW WE DO THE MOVIE. IT'S IN THE CAN AND I GOT TO GO THIS THIS PREMIERE THING THAT'S IN MY CONTRACT. YOU GOT TO GO TO PREMIERES. TOM: THEY DON'T PAY YOU FOR THE MOVIE. THEY PAY YOU FOR ALL THE OTHER STUFF YOU DO. >> YOU GOT TO DO IT. SO NOW I'M AT THE PREMIERE AND THEY HAVE A PARTY AFTERWARDS AND HE COMES UP TO ME AND I SAID I'M GOING TO HIT HIM. THIS TIME IF HE GETS IN RANGE, I'M GOING TO HIT HIM. I SAID, WE AIN'T GRAPPLING THIS TIME. WE'RE. GOING TO GRAPPLE NO MORE. YOU PUT YOUR HANDS UP, AND YOU'RE GOING TO FALL ON THE FLOOR. HE SAID, NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I WAS JUST TESTING YOU. FOR WHAT? HE SAID, WELL, YOU KNOW THEY SAID YOU WERE A TROUBLEMAKER. WE GOT LIKE A $300 MILLION PICTURE HERE, AND I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU WERE GOING TO LOSE YOUR STUFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW. I WANTED TO FIND OUT IF YOU WERE IN CONTROL OF YOUR THINGS. TOM: STABLE. >> SO THAT'S WHY HE DID IT. HE FIGURED THAT IF HE GOT ME ALONE AND I GOT CRAZY, HE'D CALL THE SHONDARMS AND GO HIRE DENNIS HOPPER TO PLAY THE PART. THAT'S HOW THAT WORKED OUT STPWHROOFMT INTERESTING. I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR VISITING HERE. YOU KNOW WE THINK THE WORLD OF THIS AND I HOPE YOU WILL CONSIDER THIS A REGULAR STOP IN YOUR TRAVELS. >> I'LL BE BACK AGAIN. SEND A LIMOUSINE. TOM: WE WILL SENDED LIMOUSINE AND FOR GOD'S SAKE HANG ON TO THE GORILLA. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO TALK ABOUT REVENGE AFTER THESE MESSAGES. ■ TOM: WE ARE OFTEN LATE ON THIS PROGRAM BUT SELDOM AS LATE AS TONIGHT SO A FAST SEGMENT AND THEN ON TO REVENGE. NEXT WEEK THE FINAL WEEK OF SWEEPS. YOU WILL ENJOY DOC SEVERINSEN, BRETT BUTLER, GARRY SHANDLING. AND FRANK ISN'T ON THE RA, JR. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH REVENGE AFTER -- I MEAN, NOT FROM ME TO YOU BUT AS A TOM: REGINA BARRECCA HAS COMPILED SOME OF THE BEST AND FUNNIEST TALES OF PEOPLE HUMILIATING THE OTHER WHO HAVE DONE HIM OR HER WRONG. THE BOOK IS CALLED SWEET REVENGE, THE WICKED DELIGHTS OF GETTING EVEN. THANKS FOR COMING ON OUR PROGRAM HERE. HOW STRONG IS OUR NEED TO REDRESS GRIEVANCES TO GET REVENGE? >> RIGHT UP THERE WITH SEX AND CHOCOLATEMENT THEY'RE REALLY BASIC HUMAN NEEDS. THEY ARE APPETITES YOU CAN'T SUPPRESS. NO KIDS ARE AS DETERMINED AS TWO KIDS ON THE PLAYGROUND. TOM: DID YOU AS A KID GET REVENGE IN ANY WAY? >> ABSOLUTELY. MY BROTHER TOLD THE BOY NEXT DOOR WHO I WAS IN LOVE WITH WHEN I WAS 4 THAT I STILL SUCKED MY THUMB AND THIS MADE ME INTO THIS LITTLE MADIA FIGURE IN THE BROOKLYN NEIGHBORHOOD AND I DECIDED THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET EVEN WITH HIM -- HE WAS A BOY SIX YEARS OLDER, WAS TO SNEAK INTO HIS ROOM AND TURN ALL OF HIS LITTLE TUS UPSIDE DOWN. AND IT DIDN'T HURT THE CREATURES. THEY JUST HAD THEIR ARMS AND LEGS UP THERE FLAILING AND IT THE BEST THAT I COULD DO. TOM: WHAT DO HE DO WITH THE TURTLES WHEN HE DIED? >> NO. THEY DIDN'T. NONE OF THESE STORIES ARE ABOUT ANYTHING VIOLENT. IT WAS JUST EMBARRASSING TO THE TITLES. THE TURTLES WERE DEEPLY HUMILIATED, BUT THIS WAS NOT -- TOM: I'M NOT SAYING YOU KILLED THE TURTLES, BUT, YOU KNOW, WE USED TO GET THE TURTLES WHEN I WAS A KID AND EVENTUALLY THEY WOULD DIE. THEY WOULD WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE SHELL OR SOMETHING STUPID. WHAT WOULD HE DO WITH THEM? >> I NEVER ASKED. CREMATION CEREMONIES, I DON'T KNOW. TOM: NO. NO. A LITTLE FLUSH. >> OH. SEE, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THIS WAS GOING TO BE -- ANYWAY, SO THIS IS -- BUT YOU KNOW I CAME FROM A FAMILY WHERE YOU SANG AUNT MA RADIO WHAT DOES VENDETTA MEAN? SHE SAYS IT'S ITALIAN FOR WHAT DOES IT MEAN YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER WOMEN? THIS IS A VERY BASIC ISSUE IN MY LIFE GROWING UP AND THEN I FIGURED THAT MY FIRST BOOK WAS ON WOMEN'S HUMOR AND THERE ARE A LOT OF STORIES ABOUT HOW WOMEN HAVE TO SPEAK UP. ONE OF MY FAVORITES IS FROM LIZ CARPENTER WHO WROTE A BOOK AND THEY SAID LIZ, LOVED YOUR BOOK WHO WROTE IT FOR YOU. TURNED AROUND GLAD YOU LIKED IT, WHO READ IT TO YOU. WE MADE SURE THIS IS A WAY YOU GOT HEARD. THERE ARE A LOT OF STORIES THAT REALLY FED INTO REVENGE BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE SPEAKING UP. MOVING FROM WHERE YOU FEEL YOU'RE A VICTIM OF SOMEBODY TO WHERE YOU ARE THE SUBJECT. YOU HAVE SOME SAY IN YOUR LIFE. TOM: DO MEN EXTRACT REVENGE IN WAYS THAT ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE WAY WOMEN EXTRACT REVENGE? >> ABSOLUTELY. BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE ENCOURAGED TO ACT OUT FROM INFANCY. AND GIRLS SUPPOSED TO BE NICE. ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES IS A WOMAN PUT HER BOYFRIEND'S -- PAID HER BOYFRIEND'S LAW SCHOOL. TWO WEEKS AFTER HE GETS HIS DEGREE, DIVORCES HER, MARRIES A GIRL NAMED BAMBI. AND SO SHE -- TOM: CAN YOU IMAGINE GOING UP TO A WOMAN AND SAYING WHAT'S YOUR NAME AND SHE SAYS MY NAME IS BAMBI. >> IT'S TOUGH TO LIKE RUN FOR POLITICAL OFFICE IF THAT'S YOUR NAME, BUT HE MARRYS BAMBI AND PEOPLE ARE SURPRISED THAT THE EX-WIFE IS SORT OF JUST RECEDING INTO THE BACKGROUND. WHAT THEY DIDN'T REALIZE THAT BEFORE SHE LEFT THE MARITAL HOME, SHE SEWED HUNDREDS OF POPCORN SHRIMP IN THE HEMS OF THE DRAPES THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE. SO IT TOOK A COUPLE OF MONTHS FOR THEM GUYS TO MAKE THEMSELVES KNOWN. THEY HAD THE CARPETING THROWN OUT, THE FURNITURE THROWN OUT. HER FINAL VINDICATION IS WHEN THEY LEFT, THEY TOOK THE DRAPES WITH THEM. NOW, IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT. IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT. THIS IS A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO LIKE, YOU KNOW, SLICE ANYTHING UP. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO BURN ANYTHING DOWN. SHE -- TOM: IT WAS AN ABERRATION. >> SHE'S THE POSTER GIRL FOR A MUCH MORE EXTREME VERSION OF ALL OF THIS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GLENN CLOSE IN FATAL ATTRACTION. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF MAKING SURE YOU GET YOUR LITTLE BIT IN. TOM: THERE IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF REVENGE THIS A MAN WOULD DO TO A MAN THAN I WOMAN WOULD DO TO A WOMAN THAN -- LIKE THE LADY WHO TOLD -- YOU TOLD ME PUT THE SHRIMP IN THE CURTAINS. WOULD A WOMAN EXTRACT A DIFFERENT KIND OF REVENGE FROM ANOTHER WOMAN? >> I THINK SO. I THINK THAT AGAIN WE'RE -- ON TO DIFFERENT, EVEN MORE LEVELS OF SUBTLEITY SO THAT THE WOMAN WHO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU'RE EATING WITH SOMEBODY AND YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, A SIZE 12 AND SHE'S A SIZE 6 AND SHE SAYS NOW DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT SECONDS HELPING OF DESERT, AND YOU WANT TO TURN AROUND AND SAY, LOOK, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE EATING ASTROTURF DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO DO THE SAME THING. SO WOMEN ARE OFTEN KISSING AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME, BUT THERE ARE LITTLE WAYS OF SAYING, GEEZ, YOU FILLED OUT SINCE I SAW YOU LAST. THAT'S IT'S OWN FORM OF REVENGE BUT THE STORIES THAT WE'RE REALLY INTERESTED IN -- IT'S NOT ONLY IN THE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS BUT WORKPLACE STORIES. PEOPLE HAD GREAT WORKPLACE STORIES. WOMAN WORKING AT THE TICKET COUNTERFOR THE AIRLINES AND THEY HAD TO MOVE THE EQUIPMENT. PLANE WAS COMING IN LATE. GUY WITH A PLATINUM CARD. HE'S A FREQUENT FLIER. HE'S BUSIER THAN GOD. TELLING THIS WOMAN YOU'RE A MORON. HOW COULD YOU PUT ME IN SEAT -- AND SHE SAID I'M SORRY SIR AND SHE'S SWEET AND DARLING AND I SAID HOW DID YOU NOT SOCK THIS GUY. SHE SAID REALLY, MA'AM, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. HE'S GOING TO KANSAS CITY. HIS BAGS ARE GOING TO TOKYO. AND I THOUGHT, OH, THAT'S HOW. THAT'S HOW. NICE GUY WE WERE TALKING TO TODAY PICKED US UP AT THE AIRPORT. HE SAID IF YOU DON'T TIP THE RED CABS, HE SAID, YOU KNOW, YOUR BAGS ARE IN FIJI. YOU WANT TO BE NICE TO EVERYBODY. THE BOOK IS ABOUT ALL OF THE WRONG REASONS WE HAVE TO BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER. TOM: EXACTLY. EXACTLY. YOUR NEXT BOOK IS EROTICA IN THE HALLS. >> IT'S A BOOK ABOUT THE EROCKETS OF INSTRUCTION. IT'S A COLLECTION. SO WE HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT INSTRUCTIONS. SOME AGAINST. SOME FOR. IT'S NOT A POP-UP . THIS IS NOT A HOW-TO BOOK. IT'S A WHY AND WHAT GOES ON BOOK. THAT'S THE UNIVERSITY PRESS OF ENGLAND. SO THIS IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS. TOM: I WOULD LOVE TO BE ONE OF THE STUDENTS IN YOUR CLASS. WHERE DO YOU TEACH? >> UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT. TOM: I KNOW YOUR STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. I ENVY THE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN. THANKS FOR COMING ON TONIGHT. REGINA BARRECCA IS THE GUEST. THE BOOK IS CALLED SWEET REVENGE. THE WICKED DELIGHTS OF GETTING EVEN IN THE BOOKSTORES NOW. I CAN'T WAIT FOR EROTICA IN INSTRUCTION. IN FACT, I GOT AN OLD PROFESSOR I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT. WE WILL CONTINUE AND REVEAL THE SECRET WORD AFTER THESE MESSAGES. ■■■■I■■■ ■<font color="#0000FF"><u>■■■■■■■ú■A■■,■■■■■■■■■</u></font> TOM: MONDAY NIGHT DOC SEVERINSEN IS HERE FROM THE OLD TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON AND BEVERLY DEANGELO WHO WAS LAST HERE IN THE COMPANY OF ONE OF OUR MALE GUESTS. SO PUT THAT IN THE HOPPER FOR THE WEEKEND. STAY WITH STEVE MASON NOW AT THE "THE LATE LATE RADIO SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER AND STEVE MASON" AT 1-800-890-9990. THE SECRET WORD TONIGHT WAS
