TLLS Craig Ferguson - 2013.03.15 - Megan Mullally, Alison Brie

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as you probably are aware this weekend is st. Patrick's Day a day when people who are don't applaud yet this is my serious face right that's correct as you know as the Patrick's Day is a that was a lot of the responsible drinking goes on and CBS doesn't want you to do that so just do the PSA and then we can get on with it all right all right this Patrick's Day try and have a good family time but drink responsibly CBS cares now having said that I never you know when I was drinking I never really went nuts on some Patrick's Day anyway it was well it was like one that was like put up you know because I was so crazy drink and then people get o said projects it's like it was like a New Year's Eve like everyone gets drunk I'm like tourists you know it was the same you know when people play drinking games and like alright every time something happens as a drinking game and like drinking is not a game schnitzel it's not a game when I'm doing it it's not a game it's serious Oh every time that thing hits me we'll drink now let's just drink right Jeff yeah you're a drink drink yeah if you're gonna drink drink you're clear game good aha SportsCenter Gregor you cussing yet yet you know what it's in Patrick's Day weekend cussing is allowed on television No why is he being so harsh to me kill ma'am why are you being so harsh to me it's almost like in the future I'm going to mop you I have a plan to mock him after this commercial break I'm going to mock Michael mercilessly good applaud is not gonna be pretty he's gonna start crying isn't he oh yeah [Music] nice audience are monsters goodbye back [Music] but [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson sponsored by we'll make the switch to advil now [Music] ladies and gentlemen [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] why [Applause] yesterday yesterday was pi day but today as Friday that I have to say that was Michael's joke we've been working on this show for nine years that was his first joke hey you know how he did yesterday show and it was pi Dave of the day of Friday I was like that is a great job by I know I could hey can you you know that thing where you can read my thoughts yeah yeah do you think I can do that you could do that with my girl spots all right see if you can do that with Michaels does a very pleased with myself very good joke soon I'll be standing in Jeff's position well it's the last show ever everybody which means it's a great day for America it is it is right it is Friday of course not pi day Friday it's a great day for most of America but no agree date for Florida scientists say that Florida is facing an invasion of super mosquitoes they are extra-large mosquitoes that lay dormant for many years and they don't even wait for dusk they start feeding in the middle of the afternoon that's right old people this year you're the early part special they're sucking on my bunion kind of enjoying it it is of course not only Friday not only the day after pi day but it is the March the 15th and known as the Ides of March The Ides of March no don't not you I was waiting for the dinner this is a bit we get to go no let me tell you there is no bit where you get to go unless I say go [Music] anyways the Ides of March good I didn't say go do we have a graphic then from the eyes of what's like coming I go yeah you know get off the desperate warm-up comedian clapping in front of people to make them clock like clap clap clap or I'll be fired come on everybody give me thunder [Applause] anyway it's the NCI it's the Ides of March you know that seem to be where the Ides of March means today you have to be extra careful to avoid the disaster although if you're watching the show you clearly did not heed the warnings the Romans used to celebrate the Ides of March with a giant military parade people throwing flowers live music huge crowds it was like a parade in West Hollywood but with fewer gladiators [Music] thanks for people who know what I'm talking about you can probably go you know if you wanted it out too late anyway Julius Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of March he was stabbed in the back by someone he thought was a friend it was like he worked in show business [Music] I love the idea that they're sitting back there the guy that's got the dinner button going I don't know I do it down yeah daddy I'm well I do the dinner or not but I don't know I don't know what the hell's guy don't know what's going on anymore I wish it was by day we really must try and do a monologue one night I think it'd be awesome yeah it was pi day today's Friday today anyway Julie Julius Caesar yes historians say that Julius Caesar brought his ruin upon himself he illegally seized power from the Roman Senate then he proclaimed himself the dictator for life and most of all he decided to put anchovies in salad dressing the Senate would like you've gone too far Caesar no I think it'd be a great idea we'll put them on put anchovies it's like like Pi Day but with fish what we'll do is we'll get little tiny fish and we'll put them in the dressing you know because not every day is pi day [Music] I can't believe I'm punishing Michael so much for making a helpful suggestion I'm really enjoying it anyway you know this is a story about Julius Caesar when he was a teenager he was captured by pirates and they held him for ransom but season was so charming you know and was clever they spared his life and once his ransom was paid he was freed and then he captured Allah every one of those pirates and he crucified them all I know and the Pirates last words as they were dying where and that's a pirate language started they were like put of these pirates saying I made that last bit up but this is true story anyway look Julius Caesar was romantically involved with Cleopatra for many years but he never asked her to marry him Cleopatra felt betrayed and she spent years whining about it in public and public mourning that's why she is known by historians as the Egyptian Taylor Swift thank you yeah anyway after he dumped Cleopatra there were rumors that Julius Caesar Julius Caesar completely different guy Julius Caesar fathered an illegitimate child by a housemate but these rumors turned out to be false it was actually his distant cousin Julius Schwarzenegger don't don't don't I think I'm done here that's it you're good yeah well not good I think goods are reached but but I think I think we've reached a point in the show where we could legitimately claim to have filled enough time to warn another commercial bro you'll be doing well takers - I've got an idea let's see if I can read your mind when when the cameras on you and I'll do that thing alright alright huh I wonder if I should do the commercial I hate Ferguson with his skin and internal organs very accurate all right go to the commercial break go tonight's program is brought to you by julius caesar's sausage links stab hunger in the back at to bratwurst [Music] [Applause] welcome buddy gives me welcome back to the show where tonight we just go crazy the Ides of March we go crazy until the control here's the thing you know what I was talking earlier on and I had this little sparkly hat on for some Patrick's Day well apparently I've been informed by Michael who's the producer of the show I'm very important and in no way mocked by me or Jeff that you said you said when you were doing that they were little sparkles and your hair from the Hat there's little sparkles in your hair from the hand which is actually a problem for me because when I go home it'll look like I've been in a strip club because there'll be sparkles on me I think I've cleverly set myself up to actually go to a stripper yeah yeah yeah because then I get home I can say what are you talking about I was just wearing that little hat yeah no I saw I saw it on the show yeah yeah yeah that's right I using my wife's phone no no I'm just no yeah that's just throwing it out there just guessing all right what time is it Geoffrey Pitt Street mail time time to take advice from a man who has sparkles in his hair and in no way was at a strip club let's do our thing you ready yeah all right that it's a tweets and emails for some patrick's day the emails Oh [Music] applied no way [Applause] again again my eye is drawn to the one gentleman who's sitting up there going I'm not applauding for that ad sacre bleu that is lingonberry there is no way I'm a blonde for that and I'm like I'm with you all right this is from Alec and Greensburg in Pennsylvania he says that Deer Creek and Jo do Craig I've heard that Jeff can be a real diva when he's off camera is this true that's ridiculous nothing could be farther than Jeff is a he's a very lovely man very true where the hell is my coffee yeah this is from Mandy and Roanoke in Massachusetts dear Craig and Jeff how much this Secretariat cost you a month and carrots hay and sugar cubes let me try and explain to this you in a language that you understand not a real I got outdoors boom it really is no it's not it's something else entirely right Jeff yeah it's it's not sugar cubes hay or carrots it's cocaine that we're concerned yeah it's a lot that horses got problem look at that [Music] alright alright I said no that's enough man it's like that it's like that movie where Al Pacino was in one you know that one said if a woman hurts me scarface scarface you know he has all that cocaine yeah a little cook yeah it was like horse there what you trying to say say hello to my little friend oh I say okay this is from Jamie and Redlands California dear Craig and Jeff we love Megan Mullally could you ask her why she's not tweeting yeah see you she buried a little while oh well I understand that look people say oh he's gonna be here in a minute everyone applause well he's not here he can't hear you you're wasting your applaud the hell is wrong with you I don't know I'm sure I heard from the studio audience there I've gone off him I've been off him I liked him but he's gone surly when you did there you look like a hundred-year-old conductor of an orchestra [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] my first guest tonight is a very talented and funny actress her new series out there is Freddy's on the IFC Megan Mullaly [Music] [Applause] hey Megan hi there you break may I say me I see how absolutely charming it is that your shoes and your dress are the same fabric somebody backstage said you were gonna love that and they were right I do love it I think it's very unusual it's almost like a uniform of some kind it's my new uniform matching dress and shoes do you write said to me oh my god how did you find shoes to match that dress I was like well it's the same person no he's an accident that's like crazy fabric just happened to be on the shoes - that would be a better story you were like I happened to be in Paris I saw the shoes that is like wow there's a designer idea the designer said I'm gonna do the whole thing or did you say I want the shoes yeah oh the designer these legs are catnip for actresses go on help yourself they're crazy I know that's right that knees pointing right at you hey can I ask you why you're not tweeting anymore Saddam but I do have a Twitter I've never had a Twitter for me my name is Megan yeah I know I'm just doing this I think I want to turn it in little are pieces good go on then tear away not so easy I'm very strong fingers I bad so I've heard so yeah I have a Twitter for my band Nancy and bath but um oh yeah that's that's Nancy and and I know Dan called Nancy and bath and it's been so fun so I started a Twitter for that in a facebook they don't have a personal one but I have people that say they're me and say like Pippi things you know like it's stupid yeah no I think you've got to be careful with it what happens is with a Twitter you I'm sorry for doing that this is some kind of like pervy Dracula because normal Dracula is impervious so anyway no I was thinking that you know the Twitter you just gotta block people you know when there means you spoke them or even if they ask a question or even talked to you at all just one well it's been a good selling tool first get yo selling tickets to this shows for the band but like for personal stuff why do it I know I know I'd feel the same way I can I come and go with it something I liked it and then I'm like well I'm not so sure people can be very mean but some people are very nice and then wrong it's like see anything mean about myself anywhere on the Internet I'd have to be like institutionalized I know I can't I know I hate it as well and I I used to Google myself I never read the comments about anything even if you're not involved now like if it's comments like it's a news story about you know I don't know a guy found a fish and then you read the comments now if we through ago practice is a jerk like I totally that exact same thing where I was looking at something completely unrelated to me and like hit a link and it's like Megan Mullally is the worst address in the world like reading an article about I don't know what was that was it porn was my porn acting they were calling into question I would severely doubt that I think that you're I see you're doing that holding your chin thing I like that you like that I like that but not as much as I like this not the guard my porn moves really very effective tell me about your body doesn't know hasn't about you but oh all right all right that's the only thing I know about the band are you is it bluegrass is everything it's like a little bit of everything yeah all different genres and we do all covers and that's myself and this young actress named Stephanie hunt she was on Friday Night Lights and Californication and she and I sing in harmony and when we do a lot of choreography which I think you would love I think I would maybe wear do you wear little of this we do wear a little outfits yeah we get dressed up kind of funny crazy where would I get to see some of this well again I got well again Wow yeah gets them every time complain that well with that you got something right there yeah we're gonna be at the Sasquatch Music Festival and we're performing next Friday night on the 22nd in San Francisco Sasquatch music I know isn't weird it sounds I know that South Squatch is supposed to be a monster but it sounds kind of dirty like claw try to think if this ever in my life being anything that I've seen in this area that reminded me remotely of a sasquatch yeah way back yeah I had a sasquatch or two in my day yeah I mean under the word than the actual being I've never seen a sasquatch yeah in the woods rubbish listen um we have to take a commercial break how do you feel I don't want to take one I don't think they're optional it's not okay I think you just have an acid I think legally if we don't take it what you doing I was just making sure everything this you know the way you like it everything's just fine all right we'll take a break we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I know look if I can't live on the bank I'm here with Megan Mullaly she was just showing me her necklace and stuff he's nice I polished it up yeah we're still talking about the necklace tonight so were you ever a problem drinker I am wait said right now no really like that hey are you in therapy I think we should do some therapy okay I'm the therapist okay and you are Megan Mullally I'd love that okay tell me your feelings about breakfast cereal oh and I think breakfast cereal is very important I see so what you're saying is that the little Cheerios remind you of a vagina not so much a vagina as a stuff that's right thank you sir well we're out of time I'm not leaving fine I never said yet to leave I just said we're out of time right well uh do you fancy awkward pause uh blow the most organ no you can't wail on this that baby you're gonna have to sit in with Nancy and Beth on the harmonica and dance and do some dancing yeah what's your the gold yeah yeah [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] my next guest is a fantastic actress she stars in community which is fantastic show and Thursday nights on a beach a beach it should be on ABC but it's an NBC I look forward to your outrage [Applause] [Music] I see you're doing I play drugs like this drums of drums play the drums and do the guitar okay and I'll do air recorder not the recorder dance yeah when you go into the club with the recorder you like it was like how are ya you okay you were many be here last weekend you had to cancel because you were so sick I was so sick you look fabulous ly healthy now I have to tell ya you're you're really blooming yeah yeah speaking of blooming I received some lovely flowers for you I said buzz buzz you were you were saying the card said feel better come see us soon love Greg I just assumed they were from you yeah they where sometimes I write Greg in case people think it's from me the hell man games now my name I thought maybe that was your new nickname ladies coma Gregg's want to touch my knee you play tonight yeah yeah finger knee play actually doing that's good I was like I was like messing around I'm like whoa this is actually my normal steely guard is falling breaking you down how you can if you want what is the what's going on the community everything all right everything fine yeah it's great why would you think that anything was wrong it's a great it's a great show you know I love that show it's fantastic I love all yeah I think you guys are fantastic and the things and the stuff and then oh oh that encapsulates the show perfectly I feel like that it's a good show come on working on the show I'm so glad it's back on the air we have a lot of changnesia we just saw in the clip some good changnesia stuff happening everybody likes a little good King why do you keep doing that to me yeah freaking me out putting spells on you yeah you've already done that you did that when you did the need that's why you see me move back like that yeah crawling away no no I have this is hurting me no it's listen it has to be fair enough no no isalean don't lean that could be worse I'll come back everything's fine what was wrong with you by the way was it some kind of horrible wasting disease yeah you know it was the weirdest thing you know Gillian Jacobs came no no Gillian came and took your place yeah she did yeah I was getting ready to come and I was just fully dressed already feeling great and then I got this mysterious package in the mail from Gillian and oh I see does it contain edible stuff it was anthrax it was when your anthrax well you get this it wasn't real I know cuz it happened to me but I right right right but somebody sent there's some powders of the studio and they said I'll take this Ferguson it's anthrax for you or something and it wasn't it was like you know baby powder but but they sent a helicopter and I was like like oh we're just looking for the guy who said the anthrax he's not here like he's just waiting with his yeah yeah see well this helicopter is gonna blow it everywhere no I'm glad he labeled it anthrax so you think it was real and it wasn't real ants right but now you that's it don't trust Gillian Jacobs I don't think it was her I don't think she no no I think she was just being a good and loyal friend you know you were say can she take your place it was wonderful yeah that's nice but you never told me what it was it was a digestive thing like Her Majesty the Queen was ill well really yeah recently she had gastroenteritis perhaps what I had really probably have you spent much time in the company of Her Majesty the Queen yes I see so so that was that did you make her as a queen look I can't say yes but I won't say no nope that's not working for me but that works a great deal yeah yeah and the lead when you leaned I was like yeah okay but they make it good Queen know that that we know good hey so what about what about the basketball you follow that you know I'm a Clippers fan why wait wait that's not college basketball I don't have a college bus oh did you go to college yeah oh great I went to Cal arts California Institute of the Arts right great and you studied acting what studied theater right theater acting both I didn't know they were different what happens things in the theater department okay humanities management yeah costumes costumes yeah I mean they were great I'd like I'd like to dress up with some costumes like what mmm serving wench oh yeah I could see it I breathe recently I wore some good merkins as a costume with Megan Mullally who was the first guest tonight in case you forgot you talk about these people clearly don't know where I'm murky in is oh they don't know because they sat there with whereas I who know what American is went oh good American is a pubic wig exactly I think that was such a disappointment yeah oh wait thought it was something exciting we thought it was a rocket or something you were why were you wearing it was me Megan her husband Nick Offerman all and just wee wee I recorded with her with her band that she was talking about their first single which is called weed and I don't think I can say the word but it rhymes with rocky dingo Yeah right it runs perfectly perfect right so it rhymes with wussy yeah yeah yeah it rhymes with Oh boots approach wait what so the name of the song the name of the song is a song about we fucked up you said it but then when I said it it felt wrong did feel wrong to me we're back we're back no no I'm getting further for the baggage there I'm like no no no good don't don't lean I stood it I see you scooted and then leaned a little bit and then and you're leaning again you're leaning again you're leaning and tilting all right well we're out of time and yeah what fancy an awkward pause yes you know invites it this is a two-person awkward pause alright awkward pause we're through without mouth organ with okay do you want to blow our shall I know maybe without because it'll be more awkward okay I feel I've lost control of what's going on here I can go all night [Applause] [Music] [Music] Jeffrey I wonder if you could answer a question for me honestly yes what is that my old friend well during the interview segment with the rather charming Alison Brie man I think I may have inadvertently glanced at her breasts I think you and about a billion other people but what I'm worried about Jeffrey is that and was I in any way inappropriate does a sasquatch defecate in the woods you raise an interesting question before I'm not sure if a sasquatch exists [Music] therefore if said creature does not exist [Music] then perhaps defecation would be tricky I've learned quite a bit here this evening mr. Ferguson really no not really you know i standed this fire some nights and try and warm my testicles they don't seem to be getting any warmer perhaps say you should throw a log in the fire alright then it's not going to get too hot for you is it no I'll be fine all right then [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

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Channel: Antonio FergusonFan

Views: 243,729

Rating: 4.8596492 out of 5

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Length: 38min 54sec (2334 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 17 2013

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