THR Actress Roundtable (Full Hour)

let's stop by asking you know it just general because what's been your toughest moment at any point you know on the film I know median play that's been really particularly difficult however um yeah well unfortunately there's not one I think I just flooded with many many many although thankfully I think I repress them it's a bit like childbirth but obviously and that's what happens every time you start dropping on earth am i doing here I can't actually acting yet something's employed me again and and you know it's that first day I kiss and then obviously you forget it because then you accept another job so there many many times and then and then I watch the film to be honest I think for me the most excruciating thing is watching myself and something it's a failure of everything that I've even attempted to because I there's no way that you're going to pay is like painting a picture of line and then you think and I hear and then you look at it and you take the thing off the blindfold off and unfortunately it's nothing at all that what you intended you watched alias when you know absolutely how you turned yeah well how about everybody else what's what's been your single toughest moment Amy how about you I don't know like it's hard to just boil it down to one moment um I try to keep I mean I really do it's so generic but I really try to keep things in perspective cuz even my hardest move moment on a movie set is really I'm on a movie set and working I think for me it was much harder before I was working so my hardest moments have a lot to do with being unemployed which I'm very familiar with um how long did that last um I mean it's always on and off I went important event oh yeah but I was I was in LA for about by six years before seven years before junebug so that was in my that's coins so I kind of thought you know what did you do to get by I did a lot of I did I did films and I did a lot of day players guest stars street walking amateur night whatever I had to do to get by really I'm just just dad I worked I was a working actor but I just wasn't um when you leave us I know what you do well now I'm taking care of my daughter I have a new baby so that's what I'm doing that's pretty full time but before I just felt sorry for myself say that's what I did was there it was there a moment when you thought maybe this isn't gonna happen oh yeah absolutely um you ever consider sort of giving it up yeah I mean not not as a reality but sort of as like a what would my life look like um not for any good reason mostly just self just just you just think about it I think that's what's great about being in actors you really do examine every type of life so I I fantasize about also what if I quit became a teacher or what if I but the good thing is is I get to embody all these different characters and get to experience different lives so I I think I'll stay as long as I don't have do you think that other aspects you like and don't like about acting I can actually the work of acting being a professional full-time actress yeah I feel very vulnerable I don't like that I don't like it at all um you're very subject to people's opinions yeah it is hard to sort of have a tough skin and a vulnerable heart it's kind of it's a delicate balance so that's probably the thing I don't like is you know you know when it doesn't go well you know yeah you don't need someone throwing it in your face it's so refreshing isn't it to sit here and talk to things hear someone else say what I think we're all probably feeling and that's really what do you feel vulnerable about the same thing yeah I mean you know I think as actors we just lay our heart on the line and and it's just part of inhabiting another person and a character and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and like you said we know when it doesn't we don't need to kind of you beat over the head with it do you know when it doesn't I mean point you know during yeah well I think you know it's like I think when you're making a film it's like you're you know you can't see it as a whole until it's done so you're hoping that it's working and it can feel really good and then when it comes together it might not work and it says such a collaboration and really I think we're only as good as our weakest link and so when it's up there you may be the weakest link or something else might be the weakest link and it you know Clint said something that I love which is he said you always aim for the bull's eye but you don't always hit it and I just try and hold that one yeah when it doesn't work you just say well we tried our best because everyone's trying their best and that's what's hard is that you see if one put their heart and soul into it and you know Oh have you ever done that and then been disappointed in the resolves oh yeah I mean I think that's part of being an artist you know is you're always trying something new and it just doesn't always work and you don't want to play it safe I mean I don't I don't I always want to try and mix it up and and that's when you do fall down and you know it's nice when you have the people around you to help pick you back up and brush you off and say that's alright you know it's alright you tried at least you tried how how about you get in the bits before the acting begins like the writing process giving those on the screenplay well I think it really depends on your director you know and how they like to work some like to really rehearse a lot and you know others don't like Clint didn't rehearse at all we didn't read one line Tony Goldwyn who I just did conviction with he you know we just read through our scenes with the other actor and anything that didn't sound authentic we just kind of scrapped or made better Pamela gray was also with us during all those they're screenwriter when we would all read this the scenes and and we just hear it out and feel it out and it's a great process you know I think I was interesting that just reading about you know you working on kids will write that you'd encouraged Lisa Cholodenko to move the film in a much lighter direction well how did you do that I wouldn't say that I would say I just didn't want it to be earnest I just didn't and you know she's also kind of too generous when she talks about me and my contributions I mean I did and I do remember a lot of I just don't remember exactly what I said or didn't say but I do remember not wanting it to be too earnest and that's that's very hard it's it's it's easier to do that and that's why we've all done that and we've all made that mistake so - I didn't want it to be idealized or a kind of you know the noble couple you know rising against the the situation they're in so yes I I did think it was important that it was that it was uh it's such a serious subject and that it could be funny and the more serious something can be the more hilarious it can be and those things can coexist if you if you're lucky and you get it right in there and the writing was really good they're just like little things that I I kind of knew that maybe we could tweak a little bit and it could take it out of it trying to be noble in any way do you prefer comedy do you prefer to on them I know what a good question doing I don't know I don't and you know I I have played scenes that I thought were serious that where people laugh that's good writing you know if the writing is good you don't really have to I mean you know part of you you know often knows and certainly if it's a play you know because you either get the laugh or you don't which is horrible but you begin to think I want that laugh you know but in the movies is in the movies it's different but sometimes you do know oh yes this is an amusing situation or this is going to be funny or this could be funny but then other times there's a kind if the writing is very good then you just play the truth of it and of course that's what they teach you about comedy that's what that's the first lesson of comedy is that you're absolutely serious about what you believe and what you're doing and the comedy comes out of something else so you just crapped off too comic scene and then had to constantly repeat yeah I agree I haven't seen it but was it vibrate or something is that funny I thought it was oh the game forward yeah well I wish I I don't know how everybody else feels I wish that sex scenes were just hilarious and it's not like that generally except I have actually no that's not that's not I have done I've done comedic and that scene actually is comedic but it's not really comedic for me character so I didn't really get the giggles although I have gotten a giggles terribly on on sets you know sitting there in bed but it's usually winning annulment I won't see what it's not funny I mean that's the yes the classic then you just can't off and then you you know you're gonna be letting everything down and it's insanely sad you know what it's all check off tonight I don't do a lot of you know giggle type movies but um sometimes in the the release and the dramatic movies that I do the actors just kind of will fall apart and start laughing at some point just to kind of make it yeah would you like to move yeah I would love it kissing both so why don't you I I can't find the scripts you know they're few and far between I don't know about you guys but I I don't know I have a really hard time finding you know I think calm before and especially for women not to just you know but I think it's there's a lot of comedy her from from for men you know um yeah there are little roles for men I mean this is one of the first years where we've had an abundance of people in great you know women in great roles that we lost you there was so few it's just appalling you know they're you know won't talk about that but I think they're just few I mean they're just not very many good parts for everyone mmm you know and it's always the same not it's not the same Bunch I knew I just keep still but what's there - you've got the BBC you have yeah it's a radio which is great parts yes I doesn't know what you don't like yeah get to play against tight which is fantastic but it on the whole to read a good script it's like and you know immediately he doesn't you'd have to read page two you just know okay this is going to be one good good I think do you think you know what did you think nothing when you got the script for Black Swan I was alright exactly yeah it was actually I was actually committed to the film before the script because Darren and I started talking about it my nine years ago when I was still in college yeah and so so he had the whole idea for everything but that was really an instance where the script was very much a blueprint and it really taught me how much direct I mean Nicole actually said it to me a long time ago when we were doing called Matt and I totally remember that you said always do always choose by director because you're always guarantee you never know how the movies gonna turn out but you're always guaranteed an interesting experience if it is right and I like always had that in my head and it's so true because it's like even when the script is great I've had the experience where sometimes someone can really botch it and and that really it does take sort of a visionary and it does your experience can if your experience is worthwhile you always have that no matter how it turns out so nine years ago Darren talks to you and then why why did delay it takes a long time to get any money and especially for you know movies that can't be put into serves on our and he did other stuff I did other stuff yes did you see different versions of the script along the way um yeah yeah there were I mean I actually the other day someone asked me for something like for an auction or something so I was looking at the old scripts to see if I could set in all the names were completely different and the lines or just it was sort of like I'm telenovela lines it was kind of great but um yeah yeah there were very very different versions so what was the hardest thing about playing that rocks is the pretty intense past oh my god um well it was the first thing I mean I guess you've done it a lot but I've never done anything so that has such physical demands as well as the emotional stuff and to have to be training like while you're working and also during the work itself to be like warming up before you do receive it's kind of great discipline but but very unusual for me was the first time I'd ever had anything like that is it fulfilling in that way yeah well always I think when you work hard it's like you're like wow I can do a lot more than I thought okay um but but it's not it wasn't what its goals um no it'll you know no from that work some other things I'm a clumsy light emotional actress cut yeah actually I know got it to do role so that change you I mean do you find you a few the world different when you know and this is a extraordinary sort of plunge into darkness no did it you come back to it seeing the world differently oh definitely I mean I definitely see skinny people as sad now I used to be like wow I want to look like a model too and I'm like sad I don't have the discipline to be slight skinny like truly skidding a few months a few months it's it's possible while everyone watching this is probably like what are you two talking about no we're totally then we're totally did I know that I'm not even but there's a difference between emaciated ballet what kind of body um no I mean your your right perspective again what was the hardest you've had to physically for a role me yeah um I got a bad injury when I was doing the long road where I tore my college in my knee um but it was that dance of mentality where you keep dancing well you did agree it was like 3:00 a.m. in the morning I was one of those things run to you I'm so tired and I should probably shouldn't do another one in these heels but okay yeah yeah one more take this will be here what's and I just fell tore my knee up then you also break a with I broke a rib on that too yeah yeah it's not any big deal but the need was bad but the real that was in rehearsal because oh yeah hard to recover but um but the knee was bad because we need them this for the next couple of years really haha I ended up having to how did you do in the movie well luckily we had about a couple of weeks and I just took calm those cortisone injection oh and bears change certain things and you know it was no beautiful I mean it it was me just not thinking and coming downstairs you know I think there is a point that you you're responsible for yourself and sometimes because there's so many people around and it cost so much to keep a crew going Oh God and I kind of liked heroism as if we're being real there and it's four players in your like game watcher but actually there is a point where you should say you know what this isn't gonna be a taste a lot of courage to say you know what we should stop here yeah yeah and also I think when you're so in the wrong you're in that almost like an a high like it's a it's a drug so there's no way I was going to start yeah yeah yeah have any of you actually said stop or a novel okay I did I'm scared I don't want to do it you said that yes very cool yeah you stove's I did it so I know when you look so surprised if I tell you it really is funny and it's one of those moments where I was in full hilarity thinking how do they really think this is working we were doing a shot outside and we were working in Ireland and we were it was like it was called leap year and it was like tons of way whether it's just weather all the time and we were in this like ridiculously strong wind all day long people were getting eye injuries and then it started raining well when we started doing the coverage or we started doing like this wide shot where I walk across the camera it wasn't raining and they kept going it was raining and like by the end I was soaking wet and there was a wind blowing on guys I don't know it's gonna match what my hair was completely drained I was like everyone else in these like in the other things which is the colors all put it all in there I'm in like I'm in like a sweater and a pencil skirt and high heels walking going I think we need to like I'm dying I wasn't like it wasn't like we're going home or throwing a fit it was pretty much like guys we had we're not going to get this shot it's not gonna happen it's interesting gave Evan advice when she has such wonderful advice you know and it's funny cause I just just before we came out as telling ago I member speaking to Anthony Geller about huge you know I did profile on her some time then he just loved you and what happens that hope you had a situation where you've had conflict with a director and then how do you resolve that had conflict how does he got that a really had con I have the I just become devoted you know it's almost like I love affair for a certain period of time and then I walk away and go see it was that was I doing but I do have that line of work that I just will and I've had to have some yeah where I am particularly now because I'm my life is so good I'm much more about mmm do I really want to go there and not be as present for my husband and my daughter because when I go there I like being in some different different world yeah and that's you so I don't have conflict with the director usually unless it's to stimulate and create something and how do you reconcile you know family and and work to you I don't know now I mean I don't have the the pull in the way I used to a lot of my work before was running from my life which was some you know at times good and at times bad but it was just what I was doing my my fantasy life was better than my real life so now I don't I suppose I'm just incredibly careful about the time because it is time is all we have forget every mean that's the one thing you can't make any wealth so do you think having I could change that having well I had children when I was 25 yeah I think at this age having a child and also yeah I don't I mean in your 20s it's very very different life's very different so in your 40s it's a much more it's like hmm I've got this amount of time left how am I willing to spend it and I'm gonna be very careful do you that do you feel that - you're pretty careful about the roles you choose it's that because you've got the kids or or you are you less interested than you were in acting I don't know if in the time I started having them I remember the first time I was pregnant and I thought and the desire to work went away and the whole obsession with that went away and I thought oh no this is this is very scary but then I realized it comes back it's a sick cool thing I was just so absorbed in being pregnant and having babies and everything so know what now I feel just incredibly fortunate that I can stop and start in my work well who can't do that so I feel very lucky um and yeah I find it said that what you just said was so perfect the way you put it when you have a good life I mean even with very good life and children and a husband and all of that there is still something about the process you know when you're an actor actress that you love and that is something that isn't fulfilled by no you know doing the other stuff which is fabulous and I adore so I I love that process but I don't but I think I am I am very yeah I am very but I'm kind of selective anyway and also just in terms of where I can go because of my kids and what their needs are and every time I read about somebody going off and doing something an actress particularly with kids always think persons like what that kid isn't that kid in school and that's what I because I cuz you know that so I've been lucky the things I've been able to do away I mean I think it's really great for children to be able to travel and my children have been able to go places and do things but when they get older it's trickier because you can't just pack them up and so you know you try to do it in the summer what you know and so you you have to try to a good you know the whole thing about balance to you know that always sounds so good having balanced life and balancing but you know creativity is really about excess and and when you when you want to make something there's a kind of obsession that has to come with it in a healthy way in a way that is intoxicating you're engulfed by something so and I think that's one of the proof another one of the privileges that we have that we get to do that in our work and and still you know have the children but there's no question the practicalities of you know going away or you know for me or are just difficult right now and I I don't do it like I would if I didn't have children she's a role you've had to tone down because you yes go away yeah you were deep you regret no totally no I know I can't I I don't know I remember while ago thinking oh yeah there was that one thing I didn't do and I mean now I can't remember what it was no I says any road that and you have not got that you wish you had huh oh sure sure which one I guess it's that yeah this is the other I was up for um it's a bertolucci movie the sheltering sky oh and I was up for it for months you know like sometimes happens and Debra Winger is in the movie and it's a beautiful movie I incredibly beautiful but I yeah I started meeting him and it went over a period of months and I started sort of reading all the books and I read all about Jane Bowles and I read about Paul Bowles and I got myself so but you know I didn't get the part but I you know it's not something that I've ever really mentioned before I really thought that much about but I hold it up for you um I'm of course I mean I think we read scripts and I like to read things even when they're not offered to me I just asked my agents to send me yeah material well no I just feel I just feel like for me um I think finding really compelling original work is a few and far between and and and instead of just waiting for something to come my way I asked them to send me the material I want to know the writers that are out there and I have a production company now and so that's also part of that but I was doing this even before I had my production company and you know I just I want to know what is out there you know I don't ever want to rest on my laurels and just kind of sit back and say oh C it comes my way you know I want to fight for things that I believe in and that I want to be a part of and you know there was a script that I fell in love with just back in August that was sent to me it's a first time director you know but a well-known writer and I read this script and I said I want to meet you and he was like Wow okay great I went in and I didn't get it you know I I didn't get it and I who did tells me I do not direct it was on it's Alex Kurtzman and his script is you know he did you know Alex Kurtzman he Kurtz that's been a Northey they did all those you know big movies on Star Trek and transformers and sup in it and you wouldn't think that this was his movie um you're like no I don't know I I saw Star Trek I am I didn't see it I didn't see it I'm not a real big science-fiction fan and but he this script is a beautiful story about brother a brother and a sister and it's a me you got it didn't kitty I'm not getting into the role of I want you to say I did not I'm not doing it I knew I knew that normally talk about this this is always the stuff that I don't say yeah yeah they don't like anything that you don't want to say here's whatever they want to know the dirt I felt that at this time with my daughter being baby yeah I couldn't I'll get family I couldn't go there emotionally and still be there for her in the way I felt an infant desert I mean like to solving and screaming and then I go there all the way it's hard to let go of something that you think is really good and that you feel emotional attachment to yeah sorry guys II see it was a good direct action would be great great if I was it was good I felt that this was like my first career slash mom decision where I I went to work every day and played this girl and came home she's not gonna have I'm not going to have the experience damage or truck no but I can I've owned this I will miss this year and if I'm lucky there will be a beautiful scripts that will come at some other point in my oh I'm never getting that time back with my dog no no I wasn't even about the time or being away it was about where I would have to go emotionally and I felt that Nicole did you feel that way with rabbit hole with the sort of emotional journey of that character having children well I started developing that way before I was pregnant so and rabbit holiday is this young child so and then I didn't want to do it when I had Sunday I was like mom I'm not going to make that and then it just kept coming back orbiting around and we kept working on the script and somehow I was there doing it you know it was one of those things where and we raised the money I mean that was it was such a drag up the mountain kind of film if you want the magic you only produce on the - how involved were you with the money outside thank you Aaron Eckhart to do it yeah I was like literally learnt how to I didn't want to be up I wanted to be able to know how much every location cost what we needed not to have and I wanted to do it I didn't want to just to say I was a producer I want how long did it take to raise the money they took about a year we had another director attached to it was a much bigger director and then he pulled out to do a much bigger film so we lost that and then so then we went back and we ended up making it for who is that just kidding and then we came up with John Cameron Mitchell who can make films yeah yeah people not want talk about is that that's part of like directors drop out of project is a certain etiquette yes yeah yeah it's like when a end of it the legend of it yeah and and and there are movies that I passed on that the actor who got the role was like it was meant for them so fate works out the way it's supposed to and to say well I was gonna be in that takes kind of away from the person who was in it I think that's how I feel I feel like hey I'm not doing it if I didn't get it I wasn't meant to and usually I watch the film and realize oh well that's not how I saw it at all and it was really and how it's really abducting you how to play it and then I I brought the other one up because it was something that wasn't offered to me that I really wanted so I didn't feel as bad don't look nappy what have you had to fight for any particular role and what do you do to fight for a role I've fought for things that I don't get but um usually the things you get I feel like people like a director usually knows what they want and if you're fighting for something if they're like really vacillating for a long time they usually don't know what they want which is not a good sign ever um but yeah I've fought for things I mean I'm such like a nerdy school person that like I'll you know I've you know found documents and didn't research it like written notes and Diaries and some things and whatever but I mean only only for things I really wanted and I never got it when I did that so it's not a good what's your biggest regret in in your careers you know I I won't again name a name because that's disrespectful I won't name a name or but but you know I just think that we know when we maybe didn't want to be a part of something but we were kind of coerced into it I think we've probably all done that and all we really have is our instinct and you know we were with we have to live with it and the person that may have coerced this into it you know may never not even be in your life at that point when the movie comes out or whatever and I think that that's what my what I regret is that when I don't trust my instincts in any part of my life but especially in that creative process because you can't be creative with someone else's vision I mean who sees you in it then you don't feel it yeah I just think I regret not knowing how close the cloak that's going to be because I would have like you gonna clean your teeth out I would have exfoliated better or something why somebody touch me up and I realize oh noes denied off we just don't want anyone you and then you think oh should have just became you know there's a close-up looks like this close like on a 40 foot screen right there I was like oh you can keep the regrets right I think it's that thing if I also relate to what Nikolas said and that and on that my grace there was a sudden and what and everything there was a sub perspective I mean once you're over 40 Crampton and you've got and I do have thankfully a good luck - there's a certain perspective so I'm so grateful to have now because I think there's a lot of baggage that you carry around with you and it's such a competitive industry this and I think um so you know before if you'd asked me that before the children and the rest of the life and you know and just basically being happy here and not having to you know like escape from my bed because you know through fantasy of other part there was a part that I and I was annoying that that the actress in question did tell the whole world that I am I turned it down I was very foolish because she was me made her favorite film yeah you see making so much nobody's with I had a different experience I was breathing worse and she's a brilliant actress oh I gave you right oh I did I did I did I turned out right away that was very wise but I wasn't ready to do that and also I don't in any different angle and I met last and I you you brought with them but I had a very peculiar feeling off of loss I think he's and I just didn't feel comfortable so my father was very disabled chronic disabled so I found the whole story I did not feel happy with a lot of it and I kind of I felt she's been used a bit this character and also which even then as all becomes of over but I didn't realize this man was a visionary I had no idea was a vision he obviously wasn't amazing but this was his first it was no so um I wasn't I just I didn't feel confident it is an experiment hope you see but she was brilliant in it so she's much more brilliant than I would have ever been so I don't know so it's okay we're doing it did work I'm with you what I mean would have been a gently different and I think I would have been I couldn't play that part now but I couldn't play that part then because I shall we we do it do I have evening a little better I'm definitely a slow developer and now finally not that I know I can do by just a more confidence as an actor then I was not I was certainly not hold on my sexuality it took me ages to you know get a handle on that and it's still it's question I'm just thinking coffee my body and we happen to be woman I was like I've always been a you know a late developer so there are lots of parts that I was just not ready for because I was I've just been a slow starter so I know this hot man it was all about sex sex was everything in the way we can be ready with everything she was also very very Emily play with the great innocence but originally it was much more backward I mean really so I just thought this it read very point where to go as my third but I didn't know that last was you know it was gonna there is an amazing documentary was made about him I think it's called the for correction have you seen it it's but I don't think Emily did when she will attend I think was a very difficult experience what was difficult but I mean creativity's difficult some people I mean people that are brilliant a difficult they can I mean not always but I don't know she should be mean I mean not very convenient and that's why I mean he can be vindictive and all those things but last says that about himself and the city you're going to go there or not and it wouldn't have been right I mean there's times when I've chosen not to do things because I just didn't have a good feeling and maybe it's gone on to be an extraordinary piece of work I wasn't meant to be in it and I also had other you know there's those moments in life where yeah I could have gone this way and I could have gone that way now I went that way it's more about it is and we love the thing we'll you know obviously can go create when you're there I mean out of it that's I find a little jarring now the the way information can be put out because I believe a set or a rehearsal room or anything requires protection and whatever it takes to get a performance and to get a work of art or if you know some sort of storage holes is what it takes and that should be protected and I think now there's times when people take things and put them on the web and all laughs I find that terrifying for our overall world because who knows what gets said to get it and people that work together who are artistic realize that and forgive a lot that's sort of be privy to that is I don't think it's right but I think we're pretty - way too much anyway now I mean mr. Jonas I completely agree it's just this and but we're dealing in that world you know where it will affect our it will affect our movies ultimately it will affect our members Helena you mentioned the creative process you've made a lot of films with converting play how is that dynamic different just beating together privately as well as professionally um it's very different um I mean I did do film with him before I slept with him basically and it's very different it is I mean we're now the hang of it we were through a really bad time or no Sweeney Todd um and we need a side thank you but I didn't get one compliment from ya know he really had this whole thing of like he didn't want to seem as if he was his favourite izing me so you'd go in the opposite direction you know so I was like you know so I had a he still doesn't know this but I had a really good relationship with sorry it's fiber yeah but the serve Otago perfecto the focus all so basically I could never have another taste a sort i was challenging his um yeah it wasn't a church I just because I always want another take journey so um John fantastic Irish probably or workman John Conway just invent hairs on Kate and it's always like oh whatever my my protectors that all get around the camera dislikes all right because and then Tim and Johnny they had their lovely really you know they get on so well so that was difficult that was a difficult one I was pregnant too and so I wasn't on my caffeine that I usually need to act with them I felt pretty sick and and it's it wasn't like that the whole juice I wonder sing too and he never directed musica before and in fact hates musicals but he liked that one so there was a lot that was going on and I forgotten that I have to change when I get on set I just remember that I can't irritate the hell out of it I've got to stop talking Lisa T and I can't just walk on and soon that the same relationship that we have in the house exists and second there's basically at home I'm I'm chief on sir obviously he is so I just had you more sensor so the next time it I couldn't I really didn't believe he'd ever want to work with me again on Alice he asked me if I wanted wheel which I was so amazed by but I said I but we have to UM be they're going to be rules and that's what I did I just did ten commandments of how to work to get which were um on sweetie I have to keep stung I have to think before I were helped in everything I he has a compliment music he can't take me commander he's got to give me a good you know infant compliment which isn't oh that was good but that was fine or yeah I think yeah we'll check the gate but I need to have a bit of a you know complement like he does to he's he's a really wonderful world if you're not if you don't - children yes but uh and he is very respectful so I don't want yet a you home and like how the children impacted by that you know what I don't he doesn't he gets I would say that he I mean directing is so much more difficult than it is so or absorbing so the both of us working together I think the kids here okay I mean this was actually one was inside so belly was was okay I think I wasn't too long a shoot that was there I thought some of you soaked into the wonder if everybody else saw this - he said you're more confident because I could I can also I mean in one's own life you get more cotton back and time from less confident at others so do you all feel more confident Natalie if you're more confident than when you're younger or less confident oh yeah definitely I mean I think you you start just feeling happy in your own skin a lot more and also that's I think it takes away a lot of the competition and all that stuff because you know that you can only do what you do and you can't do it anyone else does it's like you're not really it's and it allows you to enjoy everyone else a lot more - it's like and that you breathe that whole do you feel the same oh yeah I do know I do I feel more confident and but it's funny because there's still all the fear is still there - and the insecurities and and wondering if you know how the moments are going to go and for a long time though I when I was doing movies I felt like I was a stage actress pretending to be a movie actress because it felt very funny to me it felt very odd to be sitting down and speaking quietly cameras and doing short little scenes it just felt foreign to me but then once I got the hang of it I love it and I love that that journey and that work of working with the camera and I loved it it just felt funny to me for a while and going back and forth now and doing plays now now it's the concentration required to do a play oh my god how'd I do that so much and wow we're 40 minutes into this and I really have to continue this actor someone takes a lot of concentration no but I like I like having experience I do feel I do feel that the benefits of that and I love it but I have just as much you know what is the word I mean when you when you have an idea in your head like you were tied with the bullseye that Clint says you know there's a bull's-eye and you're going you have an idea in your head about what you might want to do but then you also know that planning is terrible idea and and you so you have to have a sort of plan because of course you'd be insane if you didn't you also want to capture whatever insanity happens or little thing happens in the moment that you're in and you want that and so I do feel is I do still feel a lot of just nervousness and fear and insecurity and wondering and knowing kind of what's in my head but not quite knowing if and also there's as an actress of course there's so many things that are outside of your control and you know that isn't actors all you can do of course is what you do nonetheless you're aware of things around you and you think that that's sometimes they nervously have you have you had anybody who's given you advice that you cling to like the thing that Nicole said or any and we talked about mentors earlier on anybody who really shaped your thinking about your work any any one person um I did a picture early on with Mila schwarmann and I learned a lot from him fell bones he he was um I mean I had done one movie by the time that I did the picture with him but it was a period movie and I was very much an experienced Colin Firth was in it and Meg Tilly and that was another one I auditioned for a long time to get and he was tough I mean you know there's a kind of Western training of directors which is very positive and supportive and and you know he came from a different school and also we were very young I certainly was new to them I mean I was almost 30 but I was new to the movies and and he was tough and we would rehearse and of course we were doing period and then when you're when you're doing a period thing then immediately you feel that somehow just adore ass and he would we would be doing all that kind of phony stuff and he would say no no no no natural natural and he was right he was right and so I think I learned a lot from him about about that and also because he was tough and if you if you said a line in a certain way like if you said could you could you hand me that glass he would say could you he would do it do you do but then um but but you know what he was right but what's the thing that he taught you you carry well there's one thing that you've taken from that well there isn't one thing but just the sense of just uh I think I needed to learn a lot about that and about um just the the simplicity of talking and listening and I don't know I think maybe when with people or that are better known maybe he doesn't do that I don't know but Colin and I we bonded IP feels like a family to me because we worked on that so long ago and I learned so much from that but um I can't work with me Russia four years ago and he gave me one of the best direction you're acting like this is a bad movie that is brilliant shapes your work or refers to you the most um I mean other words I'm not sure I mean I worked when I was young in Australia with people like bears and Jane Campion and and I think they're probably because I was cast in James student film when she was in law school which I pulled out off no the joke you had to wear a shower cap on my hair and kiss a girl I was like I'm not doing that I didn't want to do that you are right yes our Catholic histograms like so I'm gonna go and yeah I mean I just said so anyways but she wrote I remember her writing me a little postcard saying protect your talent cuz um I think she thought I could get corrupted which probably can probably have at times I mean I've had you know I push pull with my whole career where I have done things and for spontaneously and then go oh why did I do that and then but my my core my my absolute pure core is I just love working with actors that's what I love doing so there's all the other stuff that sort of flies around and can turn me off and pull turn me on and all that stuff but the actual communicating and passing of whatever it is that happens I love that and I'll probably love that too up till I'm you know an old dog woman on my I just love ya when it works it's like lightning caught in the bottles and it is so magical it's really fun it says if it didn't and if and if something changed I think use that mention teaching us and like what what else would you do do you ever think because I mean it's a business making fewer interesting films do you think Oh at the mote undoubtedly yeah just already movie maker there's less it's not it's better I think if you look at some of the non young male oriented type films I mean basically you're just waiting that they're they're few because then they're more expensive marketing them cost more never mood the adult audiences flow to go of him in a movie theater and hold them so you know when I was told Scott Rudin lastly he's just too much it how much hardest and get my Scott Rudin who could you can do anything to get some of those films off the ground and the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and clay she prize-winning novel he still hasn't got off the ground I think there's so many also so many ways to sell a movie now I mean I don't you know there's it's not even when I started you know 15 years ago it's so different now and and people really seem to listen to the critics and you know go to a movie based on whether a critic likes or dislikes a movie and I it's such a challenge because um you know some critics don't like linear storytelling anymore and you know I think some of my favorite movies are linear or you think of the movies you know some of the greats and you're just there there this their their real stories and I find that somewhere right now people want like I don't know bigger flashy er no cure and and if it's not that it's not worth your time in a way but there's places now besides films I mean we feel talking just films but HBO it makes amazing absolutely it seems and Shetty's much I can't wait to see what they're going to do now I'm actually doing anything for them next but I would like glued to Boardwalk Empire right now and you know I just think that there's certain places now where the stories that you would hope would have been told and released on cinema are now being done that way so there's ways to so back the question what would you do if you didn't act you know I I really don't know I mean I've never really thought about doing anything else I wanted to be an actor since I was nine years old and I am I feel really blessed and lucky to be a working actor and I really don't know I absolutely love my job and I love it for so many of the merry reasons that you were all speaking about you know when I was listening to you a net say you know you're just the idea of the challenge and sometimes you feel confident but then you kind of lose that because it's scary you know I every time I get a job it scares me to death and you know a lot of people who work with me say oh Hillary so prepared and she I'm prepared because I'm scared out of my wits and you know if I don't you know and and I'm also I'm passionate about it I love to dive into it and kind of understand the character inside and out and the story inside and out and I I love finding what's human about that character and finding the little onion layers of that that person but really it's it's it's a scary it's scary you know but that makes you feel so alive and like you were saying collaborating with other artists and learning something new about yourself along the way and I don't know there's never been a movie that or something artistic that I've been a part of where I haven't learned something more about myself or kind of blew open my idea of something that I saw so specifically and it's it's it's widen my whole existence into I think being a more loving person a more accepting person less judgmental and it's really it's the most amazing job and I really don't know what I'd do without it it's it's helped form my being in so many ways is there something about the business side of Hollywood that you didn't expect what surprised you most about the business side of Hollywood being an actress I didn't know I'd have to be a model the photoshoots I mean I know that's a silly thing to say but I really bets well you know Merrill says focus so much on the work and then all the sudden I'm in front of a camera and they're picking my neck length apart my my I'm five foot four I'm certainly not going to look good I'm not gonna look tall there's nothing we can really do about that you know Meryl said she used to just take something out of her closet and go to a premiere and now it's true it's like we're expected to be a model and wear something that no one else has worn and that is the latest and you don't have to do that I just think we expect about everybody now I don't think yeah you can't you get criticized for it but it doesn't you know the end of the day when we don't I were not gonna be like oh you're on the worst-dressed there's 70 years in a row you know but I do think there is that um you know when I saw in ya know when I started there was no that people don't ask they weren't interesting what you're wearing they do and you didn't have to have hair makeup you didn't have to have all that you know you didn't have to oh I'm such a scrub I mean I really am like like it would like kind of shocking yeah so that whole getting cleaned up and being somebody completely different that's fun it's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun accepting you're supposed to be yourself and I'm like well I'm not really myself I should be honest yeah but you Natalie cause you started very young um yeah sorry I guess what's surprising um well it has changed a lot I mean it's I've been doing this for like 20 years now yeah oh my yeah so um it's I think the thing that's definitely changed most is the sort of prying into private life and such like it used to be that if you just lived a certain way you could really be out of the public eye like I was lucky enough to go to high school before the sort of explosion of Internet and so I was already safely out of that sort of realm I can't even imagine like people who are you know well-known and in high school now what that having to live through that in public is like because knowing most darden entails would you still want if you're right back in the beginning of that Nicole would you still choose that path I choose to be a director but I think to be a director you've got to have had a camera in your hand since you were you know tiny you've got to have been looking at the world in a particular way and I didn't have that upbringing someone like Jane my friend her father put a camera in a hand when she was about five and taught her how to view the world through a frame and so and that she was just always and then write stories and that was it so yeah I would choose that but I'm here and I'm very very thrilled to be an actor as well but maybe this verbena nimativ the directing as well um probably not because I feel that I mean there's one particular script that I'm if we can't get the director that I want for it then I'm a director but I have to start living it and I don't have the I don't have that time right now so maybe we put it on the back shelves and it'll percolate and become mine but right now it's not it's not in my it's not in my cells if that makes sense Annette how about you what was the question still oh oh yeah well I wanted to be on the stage that's what I really want on that I wanted when I started but I was also very naive and I was and it was a good thing for me I mean good in that it didn't matter that I was very own culture and it didn't matter that I seen very many plays wasn't very sophisticated because I loved it and I loved the process it's like what you were talking about what it really comes down to is working with people and there's this crazy intimacy that we have with each other when we're working on that I love and I love that process and that thing doesn't always happen sometimes there's acrimony or you're just not that close but very often you become very close to other people very quickly and that is such a joy and that that's why a lot of people get hooked on the theater because that's you know that's what happens when you're a kid and you're in this group and you're doing something and it really isn't I mean eventually when you do it it's exciting but it doesn't have as much import when you become professional then you have to think more about well how is it all going to turn out but if you start that way and you kind of work that way a lot then in a way you still have that inside of you that it is the process that you love and so I that's what I remember so I wouldn't you know I wouldn't have changed that I and I and I didn't really start doing movies till I was almost 30 so I had the advantage of you know coming into it and having a kind of skepticism about the the attention that comes with being in movies that I think I've been grateful for because I've always felt but I've also always felt too that you can pretty much also you don't have to be you can find privacy even even movie even if you're I mean I think that most people don't they're I'm sure there are some exceptions but if you if you want to maintain a privacy you can and and it's not always that it you know I mean there's no one holding a gun to your head you don't have to be in the movies you don't have to go out there if it's unpleasant then don't do and and and having a certain amount of attention on your private life is something that you have to come to terms with and find a way to and there are times it is it is a bit schizophrenic because you know that there's a way that people want to perceive you or that you are perceived and you know that it's not exactly who you are but you kind of just say get to learn to say well there's you know there's only so much I can do and people have ideas and and you just live with that and you just say well I'm just going to continue doing my work because the work is the important part I mean that's a funny thing too about dressing up I went to I went to a very dressy updo the other night and everyone's dressed up and everyone's looking you know we're all dressed up today we have our hair and I was thinking you know it's so funny because the work that we do really has nothing to do with this but you know a lot of the things I mean sometimes you play glamorous parts and you get to wear lots of makeup and you're playing glamorous people and glamorous situations but usually not usually you're playing real people in real sort circumstances not always though but you know it's both hopefully it's both it's fun to do both so then it really has nothing to do with the whole you know red carpet of it all

Channel: Backstage

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Keywords: back, stage, backstage, casting, acting, actors, actress, roundtable, interview, thr, hollywood, reporter, stephen, galloway, editor, natalie, portman, black, swan, nicole, kidman, rabbit, hole, hilary, swank, conviction, helena, bonham, carter, king's, speech, amy, adams, fighter, annette, bening, kids, are, all, right, film, movie, awards, season, nomination, nominees, role, part, script, writer, director, producer, oscars, academy, golden, globes

Id: 4OePQsi3U-8

Length: 61min 18sec (3678 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 25 2011