This One Habit Will Change Your Life (Motivational Story)

what if i told you there was one habit that will actually change your life and no it's not something like go to bed early or to work out or to meditate this is something that almost no one talks about because it's something that a lot of people are going to find offensive but understanding this one habit is the only thing that will set you free in this lifetime and i'm going to tell you what this one controversial habit is by sharing with you a quick story this is ben ben was born as an only child to two very angry parents his alarm clock in the morning was waking up to his mother screaming at his dad demanding that he should be more attentive and more giving and patient and she would yell at him for working all the time at the office and for not doing enough around the house and his bedtime story was his dad yelling at his mom demanding that she should appreciate him more and respect him more and he would explain to her how him working all the time at the office is contributing to the households and the five words that he would hear his father say all the time to his mom were stop trying to change me they both were angry because neither of them were very happy with where they were at in their lives neither of them like their jobs or their social circle or the city they lived in really they didn't like much of anything in their lives and because of this they would often lash out at each other and both of them would blame the other person for where they were at in their lives neither of them wanted to take ownership or responsibility for their own emotions and all they would do all day every day is fight with each other if there wasn't a big issue to fight about then there would be a small issue like who's going to take out the trash or who's going to cook dinner who's going to drive been to school in the morning there was always something and if there wasn't something then they would invent something to fight about it was just non-stop and whenever ben's parents would fight with each other and it got really bad he would run up to his room turn on the tv and he would intentionally watch tv shows that had really happy families in them families who were always laughing and smiling and loving each other families who were just happy to be alive because all of that was the polar opposite of his family ben would often close his eyes and just imagine himself being a part of these happy families because doing this was like the ultimate distraction for him it was an escape from that horrible feeling that he would feel whenever his parents would fight with each other and this tiny little escape was the only thing that kept his sanity throughout his toxic childhood and every night before ben would go to sleep he would just close his eyes and wish that when he woke up in the morning he would see a bright loving family just like the ones he would see on tv but ben never got his wish in fact as time went on his parents started to fight even more with each other and then soon his parents started to take out the remaining anger onto ben and they would get mad at him if he didn't do well on a test or if he dropped the glass during dinner they would call him clumsy or useless or stupid and they would get mad at ben over every little thing that he did wrong but ben never stood up for himself he would never get mad in front of his parents or sat in front of his parents because the only thing that ben wanted was for everyone to be happy and he felt that if he displayed those kinds of emotions to his parents then he would just be making a horrible situation worse but when ben did feel really really bad to the point where he was going to burst out in tears or in anger he would simply turn on the tv put on the happy families and then temporarily he would get lost in his imagination this was the ultimate form of escape and all of this fighting and escaping for ben continued for the first 18 years of his life it was quite literally 18 years of pure anger fear and blame but again ben never showed his emotions in front of his parents he always kept it in a few days after his 18th birthday ben was forced to move out of his house because things were beginning to get really dark and toxic between him and his parents and he basically had to stop contact with them entirely at this point ben's ultimate goal in life was very simple by the age of 40 he just wanted to have a happy loving family just like the ones he would see on tv for him this was the only thing that mattered money didn't matter career didn't matter traveling didn't matter it was all about having that happy family just like the ones he would see on tv this was the only meaning to life for him and in ben's mind if he couldn't get this then it would mean that he would end up broken sad and alone and if this were to happen honestly then probably wouldn't even be able to see the point of continuing to live his life anymore i guess the first step to having a happy family is to find a loving partner then thought to himself so that's exactly what he set out to do so over the next few months ben started to go on a lot of dates and he met a lot of different people with the goal of starting a family and eventually he did actually find someone who he really liked and at first they got along really well they liked the same things they would watch movies together laugh together they would have fun together and on the surface everything looked really good but soon after the honeymoon phase was over things started to get really bad she began getting mad at ben over really little things like if he was five minutes late to pick her up from the gym or something she would get really annoyed or if he overcooked the vegetables when he was making dinner for her she would act like he had just committed a crime or something and then soon she started to become really demanding and mean with ben and she would say things like why don't you make more money or why aren't you in better physical shape or how come you can't get that promotion at work are you not as smart as your co-workers or something what's your problem but because ben hated all forms of fighting and confrontation he would just sit there and take all of this abuse and no matter how much he tried to change himself for her it was just never enough and then soon she started to become very cold and distant towards ben but when this happened ben started to cling to her even more and he would be even more attentive and he would try to change himself even more for her because he was so desperate to have that white picket fence life and one day she came home and she looked right into ben's eyes and said ben i've had enough of you i'm leaving and just like that she was gone and this cycle i've been meeting someone getting into a relationship with them then been doing everything that he could to make their relationship work but then ultimately not working out continued for the next 20 years and then one day ben woke up he got out of bed he walked into his bathroom and he began to look at himself very intensely in his mirror and the more that he looked at himself the sadder he became and then one by one tears began rolling down his face and he just stood there and cried ben wasn't crying because something bad had just happened to him he hadn't recently gone through a breakup he was totally healthy nothing immediately was wrong he was crying because today was his 40th birthday and 20 years ago to the day he made it his life mission to have that happy family but sadly ben had failed as ben sat down on his couch he started to think to himself you know what maybe i'm not meant to be happy maybe i'm just meant to be sad and alone no matter how much i try to get a family it just doesn't work and i'm willing to do everything that i can to get that family but it just never works maybe that fairy tale white picket fence family that we all see on tv is only meant for the special people and i'm not one of them as he was thinking all of this that horrible feeling that he would feel when his parents would fight with each other returned to his body so of course like he did when he was a kid he would turn on the tv turn on the channel with the happy families and he would again get lost in his fantasy the ultimate escape but the moment that the tv went off he would again return to his default state of sadness and depression ben went to bed that night with an empty coldness in his heart that he had never really felt before life was becoming very painful for him and he was beginning not to see the point of living it anymore the next morning ben got up and he hopped onto the city bus like he did every day before work as he was sitting there on the bus this interesting looking man came on and he had these old shoes on and he was wearing these ratty looking pants and he was wearing this old red t-shirt but he had this positive natural aura around him and you could just feel it by being around him this man decided to come and sit right beside ben which was a little strange considering how many other available seats there were on the bus how's your day going the man said to ben uh yeah fine little tired ben said tire day man i remember the days when i used to get tired the days you used to get tired what does that mean yeah man i never get tired never nope i don't believe you well i mean i get tired before i go to bed but then i go to sleep i sleep and then i wake up and then i'm good did you not get your normal amount of sleeping hours last night um yeah i guess i did well then why are you tired you shouldn't be tired then right yeah man i don't know i guess i technically shouldn't be tired well the reason why most people are tired quote unquote is not because of a lack of sleep it's because they have stuff that is weighing them down and when you carry around heavy stuff all day it can make you tired even when you have slept amazingly well make sense yeah i guess that makes sense but what stuff is weighing people down what do you mean oh this is my stop i have to get up early today are you taking the bus tomorrow yep i take the bus every day great let's chat then and over the next few weeks ben and this man got to know each other more and more and at first they would just chat about little things like their job their hobbies the tv shows they liked pretty basic stuff but as more time went on ben started to really look forward to these little bus rides with this guy because there was something special about him just being around him made ben feel good in general but deep down ben was still in tremendous pain ben had become really good at hiding his emotions and he told himself that if he could not solve this little happiness family issue in the next one to two years then he would probably take his own life one friday morning on the bus ben just came right out and asked man how are you so happy most people are not as happy as you are you on something what's going on uh nope i'm not on anything well i mean anyone can be happy most people just choose to be unhappy why would someone choose to be unhappy that sounds stupid if anyone had the choice between being happy and unhappy obviously everyone would choose happiness what most people don't realize is that there's a price you have to pay for happiness and it's a price that most people aren't willing to pay for okay what's the price everything everything everything is the price to happiness like everything in your bank account all of your time what do you mean everything as in everything that has ever happened to you everything that you have said done thought it's your regrets worries pains your past traumas the price tag for happiness is everything ben went quiet for a second well okay how are you supposed to pay for it then you have to understand that most people only choose to feel the feelings that they want to feel and they choose to avoid the feelings that they don't want to feel to the point where they will do anything to distract themselves from feeling those bad feelings and the way that you pay for happiness is by feeling everything including the bad stuff ben said nothing remember how i said that i never get tired yeah well when you ignore a certain bad feeling it stays with you and weighs you down and it corrupts everything that you do say think it quite literally negatively impacts everything in your life and it's really hard not to be tired when you have like a 5 000 pound weight strapped to your back in the form of past traumas ben once again said nothing okay ben the reason why you're tired is not because you aren't sleeping well enough or because you aren't drinking enough water or something it's because something clearly traumatic has happened to you in your life and it's weighing you down because you don't want to feel it okay dude with all due respect you don't really know me you don't know my past you don't know what's happened to me and you certainly do not know anything about my childhood well that's true but i do know that happiness is not free and that's why most people you see every day are not happy if it was free then everyone would be happy all the time true happiness has a price tag that most people are not willing to pay for so if you want to be happy then go to your room sit alone and fully feel all of those negative feelings that you have been avoiding then once again send nothing oh this is my stop the man got up looked right into ben's eyes and said i'm curious to see what you're going to choose i'll see you monday ben after hearing all of those words ben just sat there on the bus and somewhat of a daze it was as if this man had told him some sort of secret to life or something but it was a secret that deep down he kind of already knew about ben didn't go to work that day he just rode the bus for a while lost in his own mind a few hours later the bus had done a full circle back to his house then got out of the bus and he walked into his apartment the man's words from the bus must have triggered something within ben because the moment that he sat down on his couch memories came rushing into his mind but for the first time in his life instead of trying to distract himself or escape these feelings by going out and meeting someone new or by turning on the tv like he did when he was a kid he just sat there in silence and he finally gave himself the permission to be vulnerable and to feel whatever he needed to feel but as ben did this he felt extreme resistance because you have to remember turning on the tv to distract himself from these bad feelings was how ben kept his sanity throughout his childhood so when he didn't distract himself it quite literally felt like he was going to lose his mind and for the next 72 hours ben did not distract himself at all there was no tv no phone no video game he just sat there and surrendered to the pain that came up when he thought about his childhood he felt everything these 72 hours were the most painful hours of his life it was quite literally 18 years of emotional pain condensed into 72 hours when monday came around he once again got onto the bus and of course the man showed up so how are you feeling this morning like a mess good so you chose happiness if the past 72 hours is what happiness feels like then i would rather not be happy the first step to happiness is actually a bit like an erupting volcano rarely do volcanoes erupt just for a day or two it can actually take up to several weeks but if you keep feeling whatever you need to feel and you keep releasing those emotions then eventually all that lava will be gone and all that will be left will be an open happiness over the next few months ben continued to feel the emotions that he had been avoiding his whole life and as the time passed ben was slowly becoming happier and lighter and pound by pound those emotional weights were being lifted ben was achieving his ultimate goal of happiness in a way that he didn't think was possible by being 100 percent by himself and not needing anyone else to complete him but the funny thing was was that when ben became happy with himself when he actually created boundaries for himself and his relationships he actually met someone who he didn't just like it was someone who he truly loved at the young age of 50 years old then got married he had some kids and he did end up with that happy family just like the ones that he saw on tv the next time that you are alone and you feel those negative feelings starting to creep up inside of you don't go to your phone don't turn on netflix just sit there and allow yourself to feel it give yourself the permission to feel whatever you need to feel without judging yourself or hating yourself i guarantee you that if you do this one habit of releasing and feeling on a regular basis it will change your life in ways that you didn't think were possible if you want to get motivated and inspired to make these positive changes in your life then click the video on the screen right now it is my favorite video that i've ever made and i promise that you will love it thanks for watching and i'll see you all very soon

Channel: Mitch Manly

Views: 343,646

Rating: 4.8977861 out of 5

Keywords: habit tracker, how to create good habits, habits of successful people, mitch manly, masculine man, good habits, bad habits, best habits to have in life, best habits to develop, best habits for men, best habits for students, best habits for healthy life, self improvement, This One Habit Will Truly Change Your Life, how to become better, best habits to have, imporvement pill habit, improve your life, change your life, best habits, how to change your life, self discipline

Id: YZWdUYHW-n4

Length: 17min 17sec (1037 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 28 2021