Things That Make 0% Sense (r/AskReddit)

ah / asked ridet what makes absolutely zero percent sense to you Eggman always outrun Sonic even though Sonic is supposed to be the fastest thing alive never underestimate the power of a fat bald man with a killer mustache so can my uncle run at the speed of sound him and Steve Harvey how people can be such absolute [ __ ] two complete strangers working in retail has made me bitter if you are only bitter then I don't think you've worked there long enough I would describe myself as a broken shell of a man who has lost all hope in society I feel like retail is why I'm single in 35 I can't deal with people anymore I feel like you'd still be 35 even if you never worked retail actually working retail speeds aging by at least 200 percent how speakers work I get that a cone vibrates at different frequencies et Cie etc but how that single cone recreates instruments voices noises et Cie is just black magic to me edit I just like to say I do indeed understand the basic theory behind how speakers work it's the fact that a pair of speakers can recreate an entire Orchestra the fact you can pick out each and every individual instrument this is what blows my mind yes that and how the same thing occurs with a vinyl record what will really blow your mind is that you can turn a speaker into a microphone that my spouse can not close anything completely everything is halfway screwed on or has a top just sitting on it so many things spilled and broken I'm ducking constantly closing drawers and cabinets around here every day of my life god dammit so happy I'm not alone with this why can't they simply shut a door my so is the same way never puts the lids on all puts them on halfway drives me crazy is your house always cluttered - opposite spouse he tightens everything says so much I can't open them though both food and drug alcoholic beverages are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration I currently live in Texas the fact that I'm on standby for going into work during this weather is baffling my store still hasn't officially closed whoever is attempting to shop at a clothing store during a hurricane make no sense edit the store closed for the day but I'm supposed to open tomorrow hope for another day off edit - I'm in San Marcos which is prone to some bad flooding I work at the outlets which never closes for anything so I'm actually surprised they did a couple years ago we had tornado sirens going off and I was having to yell at people to get into the fitting rooms or get out people were pissed I didn't let them shop that's the best time to be open the merchandise just flies off the shelves maybe they need a raincoat the concept of forever it makes my head hurt to even think too hard about it it's like a continuous now you just wrinkled my brain man how far humans have come the fact that I'm holding a supercomputer in my hand right now and the second I post this it can be seen across the world all from the comfort of your own home s toilet not using your blinker seriously it's one movement of one finger a device that literally tells every person on the road what's going to happen a few seconds in the future and people ignore it so we all just keep guessing why people still to this day take up smoking a friend of mine said this to me cigarettes feel good when you're depressed and after eating and after sex and when you're drinking and when you're stressed I still have no idea how phones and computers work I've had it explained so many times but I'm totally fine just being in or of how cool Italy's all technology is powered by smoke once the smoke is released it ceases to function he-here can confirm I have to specify what kind of smoke the production guys put into our electronics my stepdad was hit by a drunk driver and blew both his knees apart he eventually filed a lawsuit and won $500,000 but his health insurance company which he had been paying a premium towards every month for 20 years demanded he pay them back the money that they had spent on his medical bills after doing that and giving the lawyer his percentage of the winnings we were left with $25,000 that is exactly how it works all insurance that covers hum has a clause that they get reimbursed if you sue for that harm that's why you sue for damages plus emotional distress lost work etc yep friend in college was hit by a car while walking to class they got all their medical bills covered plus 500k I think for emotional distress or whatever finish the degree in now working full-time and doesn't live extravagantly just bought one decently nice new car so I guess that money is just a nest egg now that's the dream I hope we all get hit by cars when people put the before picture on the right folding fitted sheets why there are certain foods for breakfast lunch and dinner why is cereal a breakfast item why is it not normal to eat it for dinner why are chicken biscuits a breakfast item can't I have those for dinner seems of pet sizing for dinner pizza for breakfast is the best why is it frowned upon people who frown upon pizza for breakfast or not people you need to have in your life flat earthers met one in real life the other day and couldn't decide if they were trolling or not and had to end the conversation and walk away had an old friend from high school who dedicated his entire Facebook page to proving the earth is flat everyone teased him and laughed at him he finally left Facebook in a half claiming oppression Flat Earth is [ __ ] if the earth really was flat caps would have long since pushed everything off of it by now why the traffic lights downtown are not synchronized so that drivers don't have to stop at every block for yet another red light it causes endless gridlock at rush hours and needlessly wastes gas with all the stop and go traffic patterns throughout the city Scientology you should try some of their brainwashing that'll change your mind username checks out I will never be able to wrap my head around time it must have started at some point but what was there before time and was there anything before that and before that one day there was nothing the next day we have massive universe I can't comprehend it no matter how hard I try what was there before time Littlefoot Cera ducky Petrie spike why people get more outraged by crap they read on Facebook than crap they allow their representatives to pass because it's easier and doesn't require understanding of any new arms people wanting flying cars with as many bad drivers as there are on the ground why would you want that in the sky most people think that having a flying car would be amazing because they picture being the only car in the sky Sponge Bob made a krabby patty in the first episode but was never given the formula he just knew it has implied that he knows there is that one episode where he recites it for plankton but gobbles the names of the ingredients I don't understand why dental care is not considered actual health care and it treated like a side car benefit I tried to go through the Taco Bell drive-thru on a Friday night and they had closed at 10:00 p.m. what business do you think you are in how to morbidly obese people have heterosexual sex how does it fit someone please explain it's extremely difficult and unsatisfying I had trouble staying hard and keeping it inside while she jerked my pic around like a goddamn tennis racket wasn't my best sexual experience but since I was horny and in high school I took what I could get plus she had huge tits that I liked too dark which was a plus source and morbidly obese induct a morbidly obese woman in high school currently working on losing weight down 20 pounds we'll report more later why they thought removing the headphone jack for a bigger battery was a good idea why not make the phone thicker you old dare how some sodas drinks have so much sugar in them like what would it taste like without the sugar does I actually need that much flavoring to mask it we need that much to taste something the carbonation makes the sugar taste less sweet try shaking an almost empty bottle of coke and drink it the colder it is the less sugar it tastes as well so warm flat coke tastes like diluted syrup how easily people can convince themselves they know more about a topic than an expert who has devoted their life to a topic after a ten-minute google search my vet has a coffee mug that says please don't confuse your Google search with my veterinary degree anal why would i duck a dry shitty [ __ ] when there's a perfectly wet [ __ ] like right there also economics agreed honestly this is the best point in the whole thread seriously I really don't understand economics at all the two tees tighten taboo that people still haven't learned to recycle and continue to litter everywhere they go I mean is it that hard being a sports fanatic to the point that if your team loses it can ruin your week consciousness not in comparison to being unconscious but out of the trillions of animals on earth how did I end up in this body I could have been born a slave in some ancient culture I could have been a cat but or some insect that lived for four days why me why now my egg could have split in the womb and I could have been a twin what happened to his consciousness I have three kids my wife lost a pregnancy between kid number 2 and number 3 I don't know if it was a girl or a boy we could have had a kid number 4 number 5 and so on but we chose to stop what about them what would they have been like how many great or mediocre people were never born it seems that the set of possible conscious beings would be huge and the vast majority of them never have a being to walk around him how the hell did I always end up so damn lucky the need to believe that your country is better than all others having to dress up and drive into an office to do a job that could easily be done from home I get it you want to make sure your employees are actually working but ducking serious wouldn't you know by seeing the work hasn't been done why do I have to waste gas and time when the internet you know exists not working makes zero sense to me

Channel: Rebbit

Views: 47,777

Rating: 4.8995347 out of 5

Keywords: Things That Makes 0% Sense (r/AskReddit), Things That Make 0% Sense, r/, r/askreddit, ask reddit, reddit, rebbit, rebbit reddit, reddit top posts, askreddit stories, reddit funny, What makes absolutely 0% sense to you?, top posts, reddit try not to laugh

Id: ssPp8zPvNgs

Length: 11min 17sec (677 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 19 2019