Things I've Changed My Mind About

[Music] hey everyone welcome back today i'll be discussing some things i've changed my mind about especially like the past five years or so but before we get into that let's just take out a quick 90 seconds to thank our sponsor thank you betterhelp for sponsoring this video by now you all know that i'm a huge advocate for improving and maintaining your mental health this is where therapy is crucial better help is a service that assesses your needs and matches you with your very own licensed professional therapist all within 48 hours you'll receive timely and thoughtful responses you can schedule weekly phone or video calls on the comfort of your own home you no longer have to get in the car be in traffic and sit in a waiting room like traditional therapy you just do it on your bed your bathroom closet anywhere therapy is a lot like dating sometimes you're just not going to jive with a particular counselor but i love the fact that betterhelp makes it super easy free and simple to change counselors if needed there's also plenty of fish in the sea betterhelp has a network of over 20 000 therapists that expertise in a broad range of things this is available for clients worldwide and the cherry on top is that this is more affordable than traditional offline therapy and financial aid is available if you're interested you can get 10 off your first month using my link betterhelp.comgen that's better h-e-l-p you can join the over two million people who are prioritizing their mental health with the help of an experienced professional please click that link in the description box if you are looking to get into therapy so first up i do not want a boob job from like the ages of like 26 to 29 i really wanted a boob job i think i was the most serious about it at the age of 27. this was when i was going to so many influencer trips and as beautiful and fun as they were you're just like surrounded by like impossibly gorgeous tall models all with like the tiniest waist and like just firm perky boobs and being in that environment i just compared myself a lot and i had convinced myself that i would just look better and get more engagement if i had like a small c but as i was doing my research i was like man maybe i'll hold off on the boob job until after i have kids so this was gonna be like a treat for me in the future but funny enough the time has come i am now post child i'm a mother and uh i have no desire to get a boob job i am just comfortable with the way i look like and the funny thing is i got like a glimpse of what i would look like with a fuller chest because you know after i gave birth my milk came in i was like a busty bee and i was like whoa i looked in the mirror and i did not particularly like what i saw i was like i actually prefer my smaller boobs i'm just really happy that i didn't get a boob job because getting a boob job requires maintenance you have to get them replaced every 10 years and i got to tell you 10 years happens like that i'm a very low maintenance person even like getting my nails done every month is just like that's that's it for me i guess long story short i am just a happy member of the itty bitty titty committee i don't care what you look like when i was in my early 20s and my teens what you look like really mattered to me it's so superficial but i'm just gonna be honest it was less about like your facial features but like how you dressed like fashion aesthetic style held so much weight it was easy for me to be like blindsided by just toxic behavior because i was just so focused on like how you looked if you were beautiful and you dressed cool i just wanted to be around you but the thing is that that's not enough to sustain a relationship or a friendship uh obviously things have changed now i just i just genuinely don't give a what you look like i don't it's it's your soul that really matters to me i care about your values i care how you treat other people and the focus has just shifted you need to be very intentional with who you surround yourself with because that's who you become so i like to surround myself with people who are curious aware compassionate growing always like trying to evolve because those are core values that i hold i'm not afraid to talk to parents this is something that i'm really proud that i've overcome because for the longest time i was just very anxious and clammy around any set of parents not obviously not my parents but like if you were a friend or partners parents like i would just i would not know what to say i was just so nervous even when i met ben's parents i was so so anxious all the time it was always me like second guessing myself like am i smart enough am i worthy enough am i like okay to be around your presence and it took me it took me to become a parent to not be afraid of talking to other parents like i physically had to push another person out of my body to realize oh my god like parents are just people too parents are kids having kids that realization totally blew my mind and it's like a theory that i've always known but until it happened to me that's when everything just clicked i gotta say i'm less rigid about the rules of conversation i majored in communication and this definitely had its pros and cons like one of the big perks was i got like step-by-step strategies of interpersonal communication like i basically got like the blueprint of having the most optimal conversation but a big con was it made me just hyper aware of every conversation i was in it made me overthink a lot of the interactions i've had because i was like going through a rolodex of all these like conversation rules that the person was following or wasn't following and then i would obviously put that judgment onto myself after every interaction i'd be like oh my gosh like did i interrupt too much did i make enough eye contact did i ask enough questions did i speak too little did i speak too much this was more of a problem like right when i graduated college because it was all so fresh in my mind and it like gradually loosened year by year and now i just don't give a i just go by feel like after i have an interaction with someone i just think like do i feel lighter or do i feel heavier i don't like over stimulation in my 20s i always told the story that i just loved intensity i just wanted more all the time when it came to caffeine i would want cold brew if i had a headache and i'd take an advil i'd take three tablets i wanted my days to be like back to back i wanted to be like busy one book that i always loved was the portrait of dorian gray like i wanted that hedonistic lifestyle and just like experience every pleasure imaginable and i think this like mentality definitely peaked in 2019 i was working hard i was partying hard and i gotta say i feel like i kind of like burnt off some pleasure sensors of mine because it i couldn't appreciate everything because there was just so much stimulation that was happening i made a turning point when the pandemic happened 2020 and as horrible as the pandemic was it was illuminating for me because it pulled the plug on this like crazy lifestyle that i had and it made me realize like holy like i don't actually like the over stimulation i don't need five iced coffees a day i don't need to have this like incredibly mind-numbingly full schedule in order for me to feel worthy it was honestly kind of like i did a detox on everything in my life and just the really important activities and values floated to the top and i just stuck with them i don't strive for excellence for the longest time one of my core values was excellence i strived for the best i strived to be the best so i wanted the best experience the best foods the best conversations the best shows and like quite frankly it just made me really miserable in the end because if something wasn't excellent i would just like write this like scathing review in my mind being like oh and this is not great and this is not right like it just made me very critical about everything that i would experience now i'm just actively trying to let things be like things don't have to be the best like it's not like i'm lowering my standards for life but it's like lowering that expectation like i prefer trying to find the positive in an experience it's made me more appreciative and it's made me a lot happier i gotta say i think in this society we've just like we we honestly like expect perfection we expect excellence we want the best service with the best hospitality and the best price like at the best location like if you look at life in that way you're doomed because there's there's gonna be so many times that you're just let down and finally i don't care if you like me this is the most freeing statement of all because i think from a young age we're all programmed to want people to like us and obviously this was something that i cared a lot about like i wanted you to like me it was like i was on a mission to like meet everyone in the world and like get them to like me like what the is that that's like statistically impossible you're doomed for failure you really are i'm not sure what finally clicked but i just genuinely don't care if someone likes me or not in fact this is the first time i'm asking myself the question do i even like that person and a lot of times if someone doesn't like me i don't like that person either and that's fine we just go our separate ways it is what it is and it feels so liberating to feel this way i feel like i have never felt this secure this confident in myself in my life like one of my big goals like since 2020 was to quiet that doubt in my mind to to silence that inner critic i've really made an effort to criticize myself less straight up when you're criticizing yourself that's the voice of doubt that's the voice of fear that's the that's the voice of like just wanting to be accepted by everyone once you accept yourself exactly as the way you are you just stop giving a what people think about you it's so true when they say like the less you criticize yourself the less you criticize other people it's just made life so much more easy going for me and i'm still on this journey where i want to just like continue to grow so i'm really excited to see what i will be like next year and the year after that alright folks those are some things that i have changed my mind about as always i would love it if you would write in the comments down below some you know things that you've changed your mind about i think it'd be genuinely interesting to see what you guys would have to say anywho thank you so much for watching and i'll see you guys in the next one bye you

Channel: Jenn Im

Views: 287,649

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Id: RrLasxOyYJo

Length: 11min 56sec (716 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 22 2022